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Subject: Mormons

Hey Bart,
This is way more than you want to know, but if you want to know about the Mo's, 
you need to ask someone who lives Behind the Zion Curtain. 

Romney is most certainly not a convert; his roots go way back at least two generations 
and maybe three or more.  As someone else wrote, the Romneys were such committed
polygamists that they left the country after the Woodruff Manifesto of 1890, when the 
Invisible Cloud Being told Church Prez Wilford Woodruff that polygamy was no longer OK.  

The fact that Utah would never be granted statehood while it was official church doctrine
was just a coincidence, nothing to see here, move along!, winkwink.   

The fine print on that decision was that polygamy was only banned inside the US; so church members,
like the Romneys, went to colonies in Canada and Mexico so they could still do the deed.  Utah became 
a state in 1896, but it took two more Manifestos (i.e., visits from the ICB), in 1900 and again in 1904, 
before the church said that polygamy is not cool, no where, no how, no when; no more polygamy!  

Still, a lot of the zealots thought that the church leaders had given in to the desire to become a state 
and split off, forming a whole bunch of schismatic sects, all the way from the ultra-violent Ervil Lebaron 
( and the even worse Lafferty brothers 
( to the most well-known, Warren Jeffs, who's 
currently in jail on charges of arranging the marriages of underaged girls to members of his cult, 
the FLDS: Fundamentalist Church of JC of LDS.  

Jeffs was the leader of the ones on the border of Utah and Arizona, in the twin towns of Hildale 
and Colorado City.  But there are thousands of them in Utah, Arizona, Idaho, Canada, and all over 
the West, all of whom claim to be the true inheritors of Joseph Smith's doctrine of polygamy, 
abandoned by the mainstream church for crass political reasons.  So when your other correspondent 
says that the polygamists in Utah and Arizona are not Mo's, that's really putting a fine point on it.  

If you asked them, they would say that not only are they Mo's, they are the true Mo's, 
not the doddering old geezers in Armani suits in the Tower of Power down on North Temple street.  
And officially, in the Book of Mormon and all the other standard texts, polygamy is still a sacred 
doctrine, to be practiced after you die and go to the Celestial Kingdom.  

Hmmm, I'll start with Lindsay Lohan, Jessical Alba, Cameron Diaz...
I always say the only visit from the Invisible Cloud Being to the Mo's that had more of an impact was 
the one about 1973 or so, when he said to church prez Spencer Kimball (known to the heathens as 
Helmet Head) that hey! black people were real people after all, and by the way, recruit some of them 
for the BYU football team.  The BYU team was a real joke before that, but became a national powerhouse 
after they started recruiting black players, which was not a possibility before Spence had his vision.  
Coincidence?  We report, you decide.
Keep Hammerin',
 roy d

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