Last Tuesday night, at 10:02 PM my phone rang.
It was my two grandkids on a conference phone.
I knew why they were calling, so I answered by
saying, "I KNOW, big Mike was almost voted off!"
Then, the three of us, looking like bobble dolls
with our heads attached to our bodies by springs, all said in chorus: "WTF??"
OK, maybe the kids didn't EXACTLY say, "WTF,"
but we still were left in shock! I mean, Big Mike??
And, I know that people have stated that they
thought it was a, 'ratings bumper,' but I don't think so.
I've seen this happen before. When a contestant
is good, really good - their fans get lazy. They just don't vote,
thinking they don't have to, because the, 'others'
will. Big Mike's fans are not the kids with the tiny little texting fingers
(the ones who can text in 100 votes per minute),
his fans are older - the kind who dial in once or twice at best.
Real AI fans know these older contestants need
lots and lots of votes to win.
Let's hope this scare will snap big Mike fans
Now for the BIG Elvis week, and time for the contestants
to sink or swim!
TWO going home tonight. OMG! Adam Almighty is
1 Crystal Bowersox, "Saved." (Seems to me,
Big Mike should have been singing about being saved this week, hahaha.)
Okay, per Adam's suggestion, Crystal starts out
the night accompanying herself on a sparkly electric guitar, and I loved
She starts in full shout-chorus mode, slowing
to half-time blues groove halfway through.
And, for a change, she looks like she's having
lots of fun. Crystal's Forever!!
Crystal was good - she always delivers.
2 Andrew Garcia, "Hound Dog." Adam truthfully
tells Andrew, "It's boring." He hopes Andrew will, 'punch it up' more.
So of course, Andrew slows it down... It was
a lounge lizard arrangement that Andrew sang like a snail, making his
performance beyond boring. I don’t know why the
audience was going nuts (maybe the “Applause” light was stuck
in the 'ON' position)? Simon said it for me.
Terrible - Andrew must be homesick and I predict
he'll go home tonight.
"It was like you see in some of these musicals,
there's always the one part which nobody really wants to see and hear,
and that was the part."
Randy summed it up more succinctly though:
"That was definitely not good karaoke, dude."
3 Tim Urban, "Can't Help Falling In Love." Adam
said he pushed Tim out of his comfort zone. Wait. Tim has a comfort zone?
I think Tim knows that the sweetheart heartthrob
angle is working for him, so the performance is secondary. The three judges
jump on board and immensely overrated Tim last
night. But, I agree with Simon's take, "It was like a high school variety
performance." He forgot to add, "It sucked..."
But wait, do I hear all the tweenies, phones
in hand, getting ready to bombard the voting lines to prove their Timmy-love??
Stand back, America...
Is it possible he's peaking at just the right
His performance was not among the night's worst.
Ryan Seacrest's mother was in the audience last
night. Well, we can all see from where he gets his geekiness, huh?
4 Lee DeWyze, "A Little Less conversation."
While it's an obvious good-titled song choice for Lee, there's not much
range in the song, so he can't really show off
this time - especially since Lee barely has any performance skills.
But, nevertheless, Lee has that raspy rocker
voice that works well with just about anything that he renders in that
One thing though, Lee, shave off that little
chin yarmulke that you managed to grow on your face, okay?
Doesn't go with your, 'style,' and I use that
term loosely here...
I thought he murderded it but the judges loved
I'm going to say it again - the judges cheat.
First, they get a list of who's singing
what - then they go hear the original
unless it's a heard-it-a-million-times like Blue
Then they watch the kids in rehearsal.
Then they watch the live performance and
pretend to be shocked, amazed, etc.
5 Aaron Kelly, "Blue Suede Shoes." Here's where
Adam earns his mentoring spot. He gets real specific with Aaron,
trying to get him to a place that he needs to
be if he's going to continue past this week. Unfortunately, it felt like
was singing his offering on a float in Disneyland
to me. Aaron isn't sure the song fits him. (He names the lyric about
drinking liquor - as any 12-year old might do...)
Well, then it’s a good thing you chose that song, huh? This kid is too
and too square to even touch the hem of any Elvis
garment! Please, just go home...
Like a few others, he ignored Adam's advice which
And he farbed out on the high-noted ending.
6 Siobhan Magnus, "Suspicious Minds." The arrangement's
total easy-listening cheese, and she should know better
than to talk back to the judges who are not digging
her stuff. Here's a girl with a nice voice who is self-destructing
right before our eyes, on stage, every week!
It's sad to think what might have been...
Buh Bye, Shoiban and you need to change your name,
Why spell it Shioban when it's pronounced "Shivaughn
As someone who actually remembers Elvis in his
heyday, I am about crying now seeing how
most of these kids (save Crystal) are murdering
the Elvis Legacy this week...
I agree - Crystal nailed it but almost nobody
Remember, Elvis shook up the world back in the
He did that by being great, taking chances and
letting it all out.
Those kids last night were all about being safe
and holding back,
7 "Big Mike" Lynche, "In The Ghetto." Mike really,
really sells it. Big Mike has the same thing Crystal has
- they're just natural born performers, very
comfortable on stage. I think this is one of his best performances.
Even Adam gives him a standing ovation! Thanks,
Mike, for redeeming, 'HIS' Legacy here...
It was so bad I fast-forwarded it - so maybe
I missed something.
It was the kiss of death to do a slow, sad song
on Elvis night.
And doing the BIG songs was a mistake, too.
Hound Dog, Blue Suede Shoes, Ghetto and Suspicious
Minds are career killers.
8 Katie Stevens, "Baby, What do You Want Me To
Do?" Poor Katie, yeah, she can do the neck action and all,
but she has no soul whatsoever. There's nothing
going on in the eyes. They're as dead as are her performances.
Great vocals, no artistry, 'nuff said.
If this was radio, she'd be gone by now,
But it's TV and she's all the guys have to look
9 Casey James, "Laudy Miss Clawdy." This was a
good song choice for Casey – it was definitely not one of
Elvis's most well-known songs, which means less
chance of being compared to him. Besides that, it was very bluesy,
which of course was perfect for Casey. Plus,
lot's of eye candy goin' on... The Legacy lives!
Okay, even my beloved Adam could not save the
weaks and geeks this week.
Thank you Crystal, Mike, and Casey for your tasteful
performances last night. Elvis smiles on you.
Those idiot kids should've listened to Adam and
followed his instructions to the letter.
Adam's anewbie but he knows more about show business
than most 20-year pros.
Idol Gives Back airs next week, and Queen
Latifah will host from wherever... Love her!
See ya next time,
If Idol wants to raise money, why not have Idol Gives Back in
the Rose Bowl and charge $100 a seat?
Hell, they could do a $5 PayPer View and raise another $100M, but noooo.
Methinks they want to be known as a "giver" and they're in bed with
the heartless bastards who helped get 5,000 soldiers put in the ground.
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