and the future of bartcop.com
We like that CBS show Survivor.
We've seen every episode over the years and we enjoy playing the game
from our La-Z-Boy chairs.
Sometimes on Survivor, a contestant might have 150 bug bites
on their back and they can't sleep
and they have fishheads and cold rice to eat and it's raining and they
have no shelter and they're enduring
super harsh conditions while we're doing shots of tequila and eating
hot pizza - we just get into that.
So, in an effort to drag Mrs Bart kicking and screaming into writing
to keep the bartcop.com empire going
we're going to produce a Survivor column every week. I
suppose I'll write most of the early episodes
but she'll be adding her thoughts to what I write.
With some luck, she'll get into it and add more and more until it's
entirely her work.
Like most experiments, this could fail, but why not give it a shot?
will close with a live Stairway to Heaven.
I decided a while back that every time a doctor tells
me I'm dying slower than expected,
I'm gonna close the next BCR with a live Stairway, and it's
got nothing to do with Heaven.
I celebrate with music and tequila and whatever else (cough) and I think
Jimmy Page is God and God
did his best live work on that song and I have maybe 80 versions so
each time a doctor smiles and says,
"Could be worse - could be raining," I'm
going to play a Stairway and I hope you get sick of hearing
that song because for me, that's great news.
My health is not good, but it'll also be not good a year from today
so feel free to subscribe
for a full year knowing I'm not going anywhere - barring that
Peach truck :)
Back to Survivor
If I can get her into writing, she could be a monster.
LOTS of the stuff I write has come from her thoughts and ideas.
We're going to be writing about a show that most of you would admit
to voting for Bush before
you'd admit watching Survivor, but this way she can start writing
about something she's semi-comfortable
with and we got lucky because this season of Survivor is certainly
unlike the 18 seasons before it.
They started with 20 people, two teams of ten, and somebody had to go
home the first episode.
Wouldn't it be a drag to be coming off a nasty divorce and now you're
on this island with 19 others
and they vote you the first one off? That'd almost be tough on
your ego :)
On the premier, an evil Texas oil company owner (swear to Koresh) revealed
that he's such a crazy dick,
he's not playing Survivor for the money, he's here to show all
of us idiots how to play the game.
Evil Rethug oil company
"I'm rich, I don't need the million dollar
prize, I just want to show them how it's done."
It's going to be fun watching this Rethug get taken down.
First thing he did was to empty the canteens of his fellow teammates
- at night.
On the premier, he sabotaged his own team which is unheard of.
"I plan on making this as miserable as possible
for my teammates."
At this point it's tough to say if he's insane or clever or a gambler
or what, but this crazy Russell
says this is HIS game and HIS team will follow HIS orders because he's
the Puppet Master, etc etc.
So we have a GOP control freak and so far, none of his fellow castaways
know he's an evil dick.
And if you secretly watch Survivor and have something to say
about the show or this column,
you can write to us and we'll keep your secret.
Also, I'd enjoy a debate about the "worthlessness" of watching a reality
TV show like Survivor.
The moment you ask, "Compared to what?"
it starts looking real good.
To me, it's like watching Jeopardy or Wheel of Fortune,
but with extreme physical challenges.
On the premier, their first contest was a jig-saw puzzle. But to get
the pieces, they had to swim
maybe 100 yeards out into the ocean, retrieve a key and swim back.
Then they had to move heavy
stacks of logs to build the steps to get to the coordination/balance
beam. Once they made it thru that,
they delivered the key that opened the bag of puzzle pieces so you
see, it's like a game show but
there's a lot of phyiscal stuff going on plus there's the back-stabbing
How does a reader of bartcop.com not like a good
Just like in politics, you make friends, alliances and enemies.
If you win the contest, you get a reward and/or immunity from going
They have no food and when you're in a contest for food you try REAL
If you lose, it breaks your spirit and you look for a teammate to blame.
That creates drama.
Plus, like I said, this year they have an evil oil man screwing his
own tribe so that makes it extra fun.
Sooner or later that evil oil man's gonna get screwd and that'll be
AND, did I mention they're playing the game in Samoa?
The scenery is out of this world - like Hawaii, but even prettier.
On the premier, Jeff the host talked to us from the beach where 100
foot waves crashed behind him.
My biggest problem with that District
9 movie was it's unrelenting gross ugliness for two long hours.
This is the opposite - the scenery is spectacular and that makes it
You can watch full episodes for free at cbs.com/survivor
So, if you consider it a badge of honor to hate Survivor, just
skip this part each week.
Or you could spend an hour each week with us on the beautiful beaches
of Samoa - your choice.
I'm just trying to get Mrs. Bart interested in writing.
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