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Subject: Survivor Ageism week 4  

Episode 3: The Producers have to step in to save this awful season.

Recap by Mike The Dealer

We go to Team Geezer’s camp to see Jimmy T. make a fool of himself as they all sit around
and shiver in the horrible cold rain. This is a segment that’s not even only foreshadowing,
but maybe in fact five or sixshadowing with how ham fisted and heavy handed the producers
are in assuring us of Jimmy T’s impending doom, Marty does a quick promo to drive that point
further home that Jimmy T. really does piss him off and well, he might have to go. 

We come back from commercial with Dan telling us that the water they fish in has been flooded
with mud due to a storm, and they pretty much have nothing to eat and are starving to death. 
Jill does a promo that they really don’t have any food and are eating small rations of rice and
that’s about it. We then get Jimmy T. making a fool out of himself with the fishing net. 

Jane (Who weirdly doesn’t get a name listing on the screen, I guess because she’s not NaOnka
or Marty and thusly a waste of the producers time.) says she misses Jimmy Johnson because
he was a leader and now this tribe is sorely lacking in leadership, she says this mostly because
she has no idea a majority has formed without her knowledge. 

We go to the younger tribe because we need ourselves endless NaOnka. She explains that she
didn’t even know it rained the night before because the young people have an excellent shelter,
she and Brenda then get to the business of completely ruining this game by finding the hidden idol
and assuring us one of the biggest dirtbags in Survivor history will be that much harder to remove
from the game.  

They find it and this leads to NaOnka going on a series of irrational crazy promos about what
an awesome player she is, how she found the idol on her own and figured out the clues herself,
how the idol is in her sock (Note, it’s Fabio’s sock that she stole) and now she figures out she’s
playing for a million dollars…Brenda tells her to keep the idol secret, I guess because she wants
to have influence over the idol, but exactly how you control a crazy person is beyond me. 

Alina and Kelly B. who are now an alliance who no longer hate each other, go looking for the idol,
this allows NaOnka to go after them and act like a dirtbag some more, trash talking and insulting them.
Of course before this we got a NaOnka promo where she talked about ‘playing for a million bucks’
just sunk in, so of course she’s doing some fine Russell Hantz “Offend potential jury members to
make sure they don’t give you the million dollars at the end” Tactics.  I mean honestly, the youngsters
have schooled the old folks 2 out of three challenges, only lost once because of the medallion of power,
they have the medallion now so they are likely to win again, hell they should crush the geezers down
to like, nobody, so odds are just by domination you’re gonna drag these two girls you hate into the
jury phase, and thusly insure yourself you’ve lost two votes already for the million dollars, good planning!

NaOnka talks about how her smacktalk will break Kelly B and she might quit the game in the face
of such brutal insults. Kelly B says it’s hard to not react to being insulted, but she won’t give in to NaOnka.

We go to the old folks camp and they talk about how hard this game has been but they’ll suck it up
and keep going at it cause they feel like they’ve overcome the worst. Marty talks about the need for
one leader at the challenge which gets Jimmy T. going on a rant about wanting to be the leader,
he promos that Marty always ruins all his fun by shooting down his great ideas. 

The challenge is the standard “One person leads their blindfolded tribe mates to objects they have
to find and bring back to the starting zone.” After you find 10 objects you have to find a set of keys
and unlock a chest and bring it back to the start zone to win. Again because the producers are cheap
as hell this is a double reward and immunity challenge. 

Team Whippersnapper has the MoP and they decide to use it to get a 2 object head start, which is a
pretty big edge, Brenda is the caller for her tribe, Tyrone is the caller for Team Geezer. The young folks
crush, because they would win this if it was a straight up contest, so giving them a head start is overkill.
We get back to old people’s camp after their defeat and Dan says “Well I’m useless, but I doubt I’d
have dragged us down into a worse defeat then the one we suffered, because man we got smoked.”
Dan is awesomely stating his case here, who wouldn’t want this world beating dynamo on their tribe?   

Jimmy T. laments that if only he was the caller, man he’d have crushed this challenge, the young kids
wouldn’t have had a chance and really Tyrone blew it. Tyrone promos that he bitterly hates insane old
Jimmy T. who really needs to shut up. 

We go to Team Whippersnapper who celebrates their victory and all the glory it gives them. Chase finds
the clue for the idol in the fishing tackle box and tells Brenda, this leads to a long drawn out series of events
where Brenda finally confesses to Chase that NaOnka has the idol. Brenda does a promo that she can’t tell
NaOnka she told Chase or else NaOnka will hate her. These people are really not understanding that you
can’t just have a 2 person alliance, where the hell is Sash in all of this, didn’t he form the minority alliance,
where is the invisible Purple Kelly, or Benry?

How is a 5 person alliance that controls this tribe now really just ‘The crazy lady who found the idol,
her friend, and her friend’s friend who can’t tell the crazy lady he knows about the idol cause he’s in
the five person alliance but well, the idol was a secret for only two of them to know about.’ I hate these
people, none of them have any idea how to play.  Marty is playing the game the best by far, and he’s
saddled with a tribe of losers he’ll have to destroy. 

God the young person tribe drives me up a wall because it’s 90% NaOnka, 5% the two girls she picks on
all the time, 3% Brenda and 2% Fabio being an idiot. We are 4 shows into this season and I know next to
nothing about Sash, except that he had a stupid idea for an alliance and he was accused of being gay…

I do in fact know nothing about Purple Kelly or Benry. All I know about Alina is pretty much just
“Alina’s reactions to Kelly B. and NaOnka” and all I know about Kelly B is she has one leg and her
having one leg REALLY offends NaOnka. That’s 5 out of 9 people in the tribe who get next to no
air time, because NaOnka needs all of it. 

Over to the old folks and Jimmy T. calls out Marty for eating his sea urchins without sharing with the group.
Marty is threatened with the dreaded statement that he’s not a team player, which drives him up a wall,
he promos that Jimmy T. has sealed his fate, and now he’s going home. 

Jane and Holly talk about voting off Dan, since they are not in the majority alliance and nobody tells them
what to do, they are voting based off what Jimmy Johnson voted on the last episode. Man Jane really
crashed and burned, from making fire and fighting tooth and nail to win a million dollars so she won’t
have to work so hard on her farm, to now just voting based on what some guy voted at last tribal
because you’re not working to make alliances or keep yourself in the flow of your tribe’s conversation.
Marty tells Jill that Dan must stay, because Dan’s tight in their alliance and he’ll give them the votes
they need to boot Jimmy T. Jill seems kinda beaten up at this point in the game, but she goes along
with Marty, because hell, it’s not her that’s being voted out. 

Marty does a promo that Dan’s loyal and folks that’ll whine and bitch about him keeping Dan around
will shut up once they see that Dan votes the way Marty tells him to vote and this allows Marty to have
an alliance that’ll run this game. Marty is playing Survivor, these other rubes are just sorta loitering
around worried that they’ll offend the sock stealing lunatic who they gave an idol too, it’s too bad
the tribe shake up will mess Marty’s game up big time. 

Jill talks to Tyrone about getting on the “Vote Jimmy T.” out band wagon, he seems set that Dan is
too big a gimp to keep around, this gets Marty to give Tyrone the hard sell, and he again seems wary,
Yve sits with Jimmy T. who goes on and on ranting and raving, Yve does a promo that Jimmy T. is
insane, so well, he’s not in her good graces. So she’s clearly voting against him. Exactly how Yve got
air time when Marty coulda talked more about controlling the game, or NaOnka coulda flipped out
some more is beyond me.
Tribal, blah blah blah
5-3 Jimmy T. goes home, which lets Holly and Jane know they are next on the block,
bye Jimmy T. you won’t be missed.

Once NaOnka found the idol in the young person’s camp, it was a 100% cinch we were getting a
tribe mix up. The two reasons 1) The young folks were killing the old folks and odds are no matter
how badly they rigged things with the Medallion of Producer interference it was not going to save
the show from a badly lopsided merger. 2) There was no drama for the next 4 shows at least.
If the MoP did rig things to make it a 2-2 split, then Holly and Jane go for the old folks,
and Alina and Kelly B. go for the young folks. So you had a bunch of boring pre-determined
votes lined up, and that makes for bad TV. 

Idols are put into the show to screw with boring bloc voting domination and they interject a dynamic
element to the game. If that element is good or bad is pretty much for the viewer to decide,
but at this point in the evolution of survivor where everyone understands ‘majority good, minority bad’
and you just slap together 5 idiots and domination is yours. I think they are a necessary evil.
Now for what you came to my recap for, insight into the new tribes!
All info based off the new commercial for Survivor. See if I got this right on Wednesday.
Yellow Tribe

Kelly B.

Marty got screwed on this switch, he kept all of Jill from his alliance and lost everyone else,
Holly and Jane are sheep he might be able to pull into his flock, but the big problem is all the
Geezers know he has the idol, will they snitch? Kelly B. Holly and Jane win big here,
being removed from assured minority status and given a new lease on life.
Blue Tribe

Kelly S.

Chase loses Brenda, which is a big blow for him since he seems to be not much of a plotter and schemer.
But it is a 5-3 young folk Vs old folk advantage and if they take the lazy way out, they can just boot the
geezers, what with NaOnka having the idol, of course the preview also hinted she’s crack and quit,
so she won’t because God is never that kind to me, so I expect Dan to go home next while Yve and
Tyrone try to prove their worth. The young folks have a mix of those who were in power and those
who were out of power, and none of them know NaOnka has her idol, so it could be fun, if something
crazy happens, but the “She’s hanging by a thread” comment seems to me to be like ‘man, we need
NaOnka to stay strong so we can vote these old folks out!” so ugh.
Tune in next week when we see I was 70% wrong about who went where
and thusly everything I just typed above was a total waste of text.

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