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Subject: Survivor Ageism week 5  

Episode 5: The Young players are all morons

We get back from Team Geezer tribal and Holly lets us know she didn’t know Jimmy T was going
so she’s on the outs and totally screwed with her tribe.  We come back from commercials and Marty’s
bust crowing about how he’s totally crushed Survivor and they should cut him the check for the million
 dollars already, he lets us know the next two votes will be Holly and Jane, who are bad players. Dan and
Marty celebrate their majority alliance that is dominating the game. Marty assures us nothing could screw things up.

We hit Team Whippersnapper’s beach where NaOnka, who isn’t the leader of her alliance or really done
anything to show she’s in control, but because she’s catnip for the producers and we’re gonna get force fed
her brand of toxic crap until she’s eliminated or loses at final 3, gives us a speech about how she’s got a 5 person
alliance locked up and Alina and Kelly B are goners. She too has Survivor totally 100% defeated and is wondering
why they don’t call the game off and give her the check now.

Having properly set them up to look like idiots, the producers pull the tribes together and do the switch up
of the tribes. Holly and Brenda are the captains, Jeff tells Brenda to pick 3 people from the older tribe to
join her, and Holly will pick 4 people from the younger tribe to join her. 

Notice that Jeff is not on camera when he says these things and the audio quality is off. I think Jeff told
Brenda she had to pick 2 women and 1 man and Holly had to pick 2 of each. Otherwise why anyone
would pick bag of bones Jane to join their tribe over say, massively powerful Tyrone is beyond me. 

Brenda takes Jane, Marty, and Jill to the younger tribe, totally screwing Marty and Jill, while Holly
takes NaOnka, Alina, Chase and Benry to the old folks. 

We then get to the challenge, which is pretty much a game of plinko, only you with a ball, and you
have to catch the ball when it falls to the bottom of the board before it hits the ground, the new Blue tribe,
formerly Team Geezer, wins the reward and gets themselves two hens and a rooster for food. 

We get back to Tribe Blue’s camp, where Tyrone pouts that he enjoyed being on a tribe that lost friggin
every challenge and that this shake up that resulted in a victory sucks. Holly tells us that the tribe mix-up
 is great because she gets along far better with the kids then she did with her former geezer based tribe.
Well since she was on the outs with her old tribe, clearly this new tribe is better for her. 

Tyrone gives everyone from the young tribe the rundown of how things work around camp.
The young folks see him as an annoying blowhard who’s trying to be the leader of the place, and to hell with him. 

Alina and NaOnka quickly work to flip Holly. Why Alina, who is on the outs with her, would now work
with NaOnka to build an alliance is beyond me. NaOnka does a promo that her and Alina’s relationship
has totally changed, because Alina is an idiot who wants to stick with the young people even when she was
on the outs with them. You’ll notice that Holly and June flip instantly on their elderly oppressors and work
to gain power in their new tribes, while the young outsiders do nothing of the sort and meekly stick together
with the other young folk to insure their doom come the merger, I’ll rail against the awful play of the kids more in a bit.

We go to Yellow Tribe, formerly the young folks, where Fabio does a promo that he was dreading the tribe
switch because he was happy with his old tribe. Because he liked the fact that NaOnka in the majority alliance
bitterly hated him and after Alina and Kelly B. went home he’d have been next to go, Fabio’s cool with being
the 4th boot from a 10 person tribe, way to want to win Fabio. He says Marty, Jill and Jane are all cool,
and besides that the young folks have a 5-3 numbers edge, so as cool as these old folks are, they are doomed to go home.

Jane instantly sells out Marty and Jill, hating them bitterly for being a power couple, and tells the young folks
she’ll be more than happy to kick them out. She declares Marty and Jill to be tighter than a couple ticks.
I’ve never known ticks to be tightly connected. I’ll take Jane’s word for it.   ha ha

Marty and Fabio talk about NaOnka wrestling Kelly B and defeating her for the clue for the hidden idol
and then running off with the clue without sharing. He ends up having a pow-wow the young folks where
he tells them they all suck at playing Survivor and really need to quit sucking at it. When you’re playing
poker with morons, one of the rules is ‘no lessons at the table’. You don’t start educating morons about
the fact they are morons. This goes triple for survivor, because the morons can just do something dumb,
like all vote your excellent at Survivor ass out of the game. 

Marty shows them all what a true team player is like and busts out his immunity idol. Brenda does a promo
about what a complete moron he is for showing off the idol and admitting to having it, and how completely
unimpressed she is by Marty revealing it. Brenda is clearly gunning for a showdown with Marty, I’d just be
worried about going after the person with a hidden idol, those things always are trouble. 

Back to Tribe Blue, where it’s raining like hell, an error in production leads us to someone named “Benry”
I think he’s a member of the filming crew, or the on-site medical team, talking about the game, oh wait,
he’s playing?! Really?! I’ve heard rumors of a ‘purple Kelly’ also, but I’m unconvinced. Benry tells us
the rain really sucks, where the old folks put their shelter sucks, and they are getting just crushed by the rain.
NaOnka, having already shown herself as a bully, now shows herself as a weakling, freaking out over the
rain and wanting to quit the game. 

Of course because the universe hates me, Alina (Who should be working for NaOnka’s ouster) and Chase
console her and tell her tough it out. Alina does a promo that NaOkna shutting down and quitting is good
for her. SO WHY IS SHE TALKING TO HER AND HELPING HER?! ARGH!! I’m sure once the
cameras were off NaOnka a bunch of producers told her to buck up also, because with Marty in a
horrible 6-2 minority and needing idol tricks to survive, the producers are in danger of losing both
of the players they care about. 

Off to the challenge, which is a crazy event where three people get strapped to a spinning wheel and
have to spun into some water, swallow it, and then get spun up to a funnel where they must spit the
water into the funnel, once that fills a tube a ball will drop out and two more players must use the ball
to play skee-ball, but break tiles instead of hit holes inside rings. Blue Tribe figures out that going slower
on the wheel and giving the spitting players more time to aim is better than going fast, as the Yellow
Tribe does, but in the end, Jane proves to be a skee-ball master and the Yellow Tribe comes from behind to win.

NaOnka does a voice over that she’s done, she’s quit, and it’s over for her.
This pretty much assures me she won’t go home, cause as stated before, the universe hates me.

We’re back and because this is the NaOnka show, she gets to do more talking, now about how she’s
lasted to the 1/4th mark of the season, so really, how much more could anyone ask of her?! She’s done great!
If she goes home tonight, whatever, if she stays in the game, that’s fine too.

Then we get to ChickenGate, where Tyrone isn’t in favor of killing a chicken just yet, but the rest of
the tribe really wants some succulent chicken, so they break a chicken’s neck and get to dressing it.
Holly says Tyrone was sorta aloof and an outcast during the chicken preparing because it wasn’t his idea.
Now I’d have to say that going into a vote I’d never go against the group’s wishes, if a bunch of people
tell me ‘we want to kill a chicken’ then I’m going to be the #1 fan of operation chicken murder,
because I don’t want people thinking I’m being a jerk right before a vote. 

Once the chicken is prepared, Tyrone feasts upon it, eating enough to outrage Alina and Benry. Benry says
voting out Tyrone would be a good move, because he’s pretty much a jerk and everyone resents him,
but voting out NaOnka might also be a good play, since she’s quit on the game and is just a big wimp.

Alina promos that having Holly in their back pocket means that Chase, Holly, Alina, and Benry now run
the game, and they can decide to vote out NaOnka or Tyrone at will. The fact that Alina is so confident
that she’s usurped NaOnka’s spot in the former Younger Tribe’s pecking order is pretty impressive. 

Off to tribal, blah blah  blah, and Tyrone is in fact kicked out, 6-2, Yve didn’t get the memo that Tyrone was toast.


Alina should know NaOnka has an idol, or suspect it, so not gunning for her tonight was kinda weak,
but then again, a vote is a vote and if she thinks her alliance is solid, then good luck to her. 

Watching the hidden scenes on, Kelly B is just a world class moron at Survivor, and watching
what happened on the show, so is Fabio. The two of them were in the minority of the old younger tribe,
now they have Marty and Jill, and an idol to use, and they seem content to just try to vote out Jill and Marty.
Didn’t Kelly B have her sights set on Brenda on the first vote? Now finally we have a tribal shake up and
a guy who’s shown everyone he has an idol, and you can’t see how you can use that to finally vote out
Brenda and weaken the alliance that let the crazy sock stealing lady talk down to you all this time?
Sometimes in survivor, just surviving is enough, but you also have to think long term, split votes get
screwed up all the time, why be against the person with the idol, when if you’re with them, you can
get a great advantage out of it? 

Of course, next week is a double elimination show, Dan is now the second person from Blue Tribe that
wants to quit, so we’ll see how those quitters handle everything, meanwhile Tribe Yellow will either hold,
and do a proper 3-3 split vote on Marty and Jill to defeat the idol and sent Marty home, or screw it up and
most likely send Brenda, Sash, or Kelly B. home (As it seems like Marty likes Fabio, and thinks Jane is still with him.)

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