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Survivor: Redemption Island - Episode 3
  Commentary by Lib Bastard 

"“I faked Ya!”
-- Ralph

Howdy Y’all, Whatch ya’ll up ta right now?

Ack, barf…Sorry about that, I was channeling Ralph…but I’m
much better now (except for this odd impulse to crow…)!

Where was I? Oh, yeah, didja hear? Russell is gone (Why does a tune from “The Wizard of Oz” come to mind? 
“Ding, dong the witch is dead..”) I know that Russell was a gold mine for CBS, and I bet it pissed them off royally
when he was voted out and lost at Redemption Island, but I REALLY did not like the guy.  His tribe did exactly
what I would have done; Russell was a time bomb waiting to go off. As it was, he poisoned two players and
pretty much ruined any chance they have of winning the game.

“Don’t let the door hit you where the good lord split ya!” 
Bye, Bye Russell, the Survivor world will be a bit less interesting with your absence.

Now that I’ve got THAT out of my system, let’s take a look at the last week’s action! Week four seemed to
keep the theme going: the people who know how to play the game (Rob, of course) vs. the people who are
clueless (Ralph, Phillip). Rob showed that he can adapt and learn new ways of screwing his tribe over without
them suspecting a thing. (Man, it’s a gift!)  Ralph proved that he is actually as clueless as they come – yeah,
let me show the onlookers from the other tribe  that I’ve got an idol! Now THAT was a good move!
Russell played his last seed as he left, dumping a bunch of info on the Ometepe representatives;
I bet he had a good laugh at Loser’s Lodge over it.

Phillip proved to be clueless – what the hell was he doing sweeping(?) while everybody was trying to sleep?
What the heck was he sweeping (noisily!)? Dirt? He’s on a damn Island! (Oh, I know, they’re on the coast
somewhere, but it sounds much cooler to be on an island!) Is he trying to piss people off? To make matters even
worse, he’s wandering around in those nasty pink jockey shorts, which have apparently drooped some more.
(All together now: “EWWWWWWW!”) His unfortunate tribe mates are not particularly happy about it, either. 
Personally, I’d find a long stick to whack him with whenever he was in that state. (Whack! “Put your damn
pants on, dude!”) Phil the crab hunter also reappeared, but he was still outwitted by the crabs. At least he
put on his swim trunks.

The Duel between Good and Evil

The tribes get treemail for the duel; Ralph and Sarita go from Zapatera, Phillip and Kristina go from Ometepe.
(This is a pivotal moment for Rob, BTW).  Russell comments that this is a battle of good versus evil, and
Matt comments that he is “fighting to honor his God”. Say What? Does anybody believe that God gives a
damn about this duel?

The duel involves putting a set of blocks in a row on a long platform while avoiding tied off strings that
will dump the blocks. After some mind-numbing excitement, Russell loses! Russell actually gets emotional,
crying like a baby (or a Survivor LOSER!). Of course, Ralph screws the pooch by almost revealing the idol.
Hat tip to Sarita for realizing the peril and stopping Ralph before he made a total ass of himself.

Rob uses this time to pull a real fast one to find the Hidden Immunity Idol (HII). He shows his knowledge
of the game by drawing everybody off for a silly game (From what I’ve heard, by this time the people are
so f@&kin’ bored, anything would be interesting.) Rob pleads intestinal trouble and runs off to find the HII.
He succeeds, and hides it without telling anyone about it. I have a feeling that this may be very important later.

The Advertising Interlude..I mean the Challenge

I hate it when the challenge involves stuff from an sponsor – it really looks horseshit. Oh, well, I guess they
have to do it to stay on the air, so I’ll let it go. (It don’t mean I gotta like it, though!) Ralph redeemed himself
partly in my eyes; he kicked Rob’s butt in the challenge and did most of the work, resulting in another Zapatera win.
So much for Karma. We see Zapatera march happily off for a real good meal, after a hearty Ralph rooster crow. Yeeesh!

Tribal Council

Ometepe undergoes another Phil lecture (where’s my stick?). How bad must they have disliked Kristina to
get rid of her rather than Phil? Man, she must have been a BITCH! It is interesting to note that Rob suggests
splitting the vote, keeping his idol hidden, and suggesting that Kristina has one again. At the Tribal Council,
Kristina and Phil get into it again. Phil continues to make an ass of himself, but Kristina goes anyway, in a split vote.
Bye, Kristina! Have a good time with Matt! It will be interesting to see if the time on RI has taken a toll on Matt;
he’s been there over a week, now.

Now, who is in trouble? Well, I guess you can put three names on the obvious list: Phillip (of course)
because he is making such a pain in the ass of himself; Stephanie because she won’t let Russell go,
and is irritating the tribe; and Krista, just because she was stupid enough to vote for Ralph in the re-vote,
and she is hanging around with Stephanie. I think most of the rest are safe, for now, unless someone
unleashes a really BAD move. (Nah, that NEVER happens in Survivor!)

Stupid Move of The Week: There can be only one you can award this to: Ralph! Yeah, he pretty much won
the challenge, but he proved that he is not the Survivor expert that he thinks he is. The Master, Russell, played
him like a top after the duel, and showed what a tyro Ralph is. Showing the opposition that you have an idol is
NOT A GOOD IDEA. Of course, nods go also to Phillip, AGAIN, for being an asshole, and Stephanie, for not
realizing that Russell IS GONE and won’t be back. Steph, one piece of advice: STFU!

That’s it for now, I’ll be back with more later!

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