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Mike's Survivor Update

Survivor: Heroes Vs Villains

Episode 3 or we have to wait another week for real things to happen
 by Mike the Dealer

We open at Heroes Camp, post Steph boot. 
Tom tries to tell everyone it’s cool that they went against his wishes and voted Steph out, because really, 
what else can he say?   “To hell with all of you, write my name down next, I hate you all so much!” 
Tom says he has to pretend like everything’s cool, when it’s not, well no kidding Tom, this is Survivor 101 stuff.

Credits and we return to Boston Rob giving us knowledge, talking about how sleeping arrangements are a tipoff 
of who’s in an alliance with others, he declares Russell and Pavarti to be in a tight alliance, same with Coach and Jerri.  

Over at Heroes camp, Rupert just wishes everyone could be one big happy loving family, because Survivor isn’t a 
cut-throat game for a million dollars, but rather a way to get together to really explain your feelings, or something.  
The Heroes have a coop to trap their chickens in, but that doesn’t work, so they have to get back to wrangling 
the chickens again, and they do capture them, Rupert declares this a morale building event that will make turn the 
Heroes into world beaters.

We’re back at Villain camp where Coach and then Boston Rob tell Russell that maybe being in an alliance with 
Pavarti isn’t the best of plans since she’s a known strong player and that the other tribe has three people just waiting 
to bring her into the fold come the merger. Russell tells us that Coach and Boston Rob can drop dead, he’s calling 
the shots, and he and Pavarti chit chat, he tells her that her name has come up for a boot, she laments that her winning 
Survivor and using her sex appeal to get ahead is now somehow offending people.

We’re back from commercials and now it’s time for Russell to get his evil on, while Coach tells everyone crazy stories 
about his crazy life,  Russell runs off and hides the machete, planning to sow the chaos and confusion that he sowed in 
his last season. He threatens stealing Boston Rob’s Red Sox cap, and the producers do a bunch of editing to make it 
look like he did it, but he didn’t.  Burning some random guy’s socks is OK, taking the star of the show’s signature piece 
of clothing, that’s a bridge to far for the producers.

This doesn’t play out in the edit like it did last year, so whatever damage Russell thinks he did, it’s not nearly getting 
the attention it did last season, where the producers showed us the mind-blowing panic and terror that losing their water 
and the guy’s socks did, in the edit nothing is really brought up till Tribal, so Russell’s plan doesn’t really pan out, 
or at least it doesn’t as far as the producers care to let us know about it.

I agree, that was some clumcy editing.
But why does Russell think fucking with his teammates gives him power?
He says,
"If I can drive everybody crazy, I can control them," which makes no sense.

It’s morning now, which means it’s time for some Coach-Porn, as Coach does his Karate/Yoga/Whatever with the 
cameras capturing every second of the deluded self-important fool reveling in his stupidity. Randy comes back from 
the water with a clam, but nobody cares, he laments that he works hard and does as best he can, but that Pavarti can 
just bat her eyelashes and shake her hips and she’ll get ahead. The subtext of this scene that’s left completely unstated
by anyone in promos or anything is that it’s plain as day that nobody cares at all for Randy.

Back to the Heroes camp where JT decides to be a total idiot and freak out Candice, telling her that Cirie told him that 
she doesn’t trust Candice. Cirie and Candice talk about this, while JT does a promo about how he’s now lying a lot and 
is good at lying. Candice questions many people, said questioning offends the always easy to offend James, who whines 
that the Heroes need to focus on challenge victories and not politics. Easy for him to say when the producers gave him a 
gift-wrapped 3 person alliance in his starting tribe, with a 4th person just waiting to join them come the merger.

It’s challenge time, where it’s pretty much a straight 1 on 1 fight using a pillow between the Heroes and Villains, about all 
you need to know is the Heroes win this 8-0, with every Hero defeating their Villain counterpart, and that in the middle of it 
the producers did a crazy slow-mo between Rupert and Coach, since they love the two of them so much and want to make 
them look as epic as possible. Oh, and James threw his pillow at Randy after he beat him, cause he’s a rage filled jerk.  

The producers have the ability to tweak the game so their favorites win.
For instance on that "pillow fight" after the first round the floor was muddy and slippery.
Also, with no puzzle to solve it was all brawn and no brains.

The Heroes leave with immunity and their luxury items, while the Villains shamble off to vote out the first member of their tribe.

At Villain Camp Tyson does a promo declaring the Heroes ate ‘steroid sandwiches’ before the contest. The Villains spend 
their time cleaning the mud off themselves, since they all got thrown into the mud by the Heroes. At this time the vote out options 
become Pavarti, because she’s a big time player and has a huge potential post merger-alliance just waiting for her in 
James/Cirie/Amanda. And Randy, because Randy is universally hated around camp and just about useless.

Jerri and Pavarti have sparring promos where they are out for each other’s blood. Jerri does admit she wishes she could 
bottle up the charm Pavarti uses on people in Survivor to use on people in the real world. Coach says Pavarti’s hitting on him 
won’t work, as he flirts with her big time.

Coach then gives us a speech comparing his will to do right by Randy to that of Martin Luther King and his struggles. 
Only Coach could compare Survivor to the Civil Rights Movement.

We hit Tribal, which I always hate and skim, I know only that the machete was brought up and then dismissed pretty quickly, 
and then Randy got voted out by everyone, way to fight for your convictions Coach, in a last act of defiance Randy throws his 
red Villain buff into the fire. Take that Survivor, one less buff to auction off for charity.


Kind of a nothing episode in the sense that booting Pavarti would have required willpower and a fight, since she has Russell 
on her side, and who exactly knows who the hell else would go where. Courtney, Danielle,  and Sandra are not in any solid 
alliances, and Sandra’s very vocal about not being in any alliances, her game plan is to make it painfully clear to everyone 
that she’s not in any alliance and she’s just going with the flow.

On one side we have Boston Rob/Jerri/Coach, which most likely means Tyson also, Vs Russell/Pavarti now while the BRob side 
has 4, they need 6 for a majority, what two votes can they count on? I thought on the first episode that the Heroes not taking out 
Cirie was a big mistake, and well, it did cost Tom big time as now he’s on the wrong end of the majority and lost his alliance mate in Steph.

Here we’ll have to see if Boston Rob/Jerri/Coach/Tyson pays for this mistake. For them to pay the whole rest of the tribe 
would have to go after them, which is something I doubt that everyone would be for when it comes to booting Boston Rob 
at the very least, they might take out Jerri or Coach, but Rob’s safe because he’s their challenge machine and he’s good 
around camp, so really this could cost Coach more than anyone else.

Next week, we get Hidden Immunity Idols! Oh the madness that shall inspire. Boston Rob does a ‘back in my day’ promo 
complaining about how he didn’t have such tomfoolery in his games, the heroes lament that what was supposed to be a team effort 
to find their idol (What?! Why?!) is ‘every man for himself’ and Coach cries.

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