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Trip Report New York City April 2008

Saturday Part 1

Last time we flew out of at Tulsa International, there were 400 people in line at 5:30 am.
That Saturday morning, there wasn't a soul to be found. 
Sometimes two hours isn't enough time, and sometimes 30 minutes will do it.

Then we got a nine-hour reminder why we don't have kids.
Screaming, kicking, screaming louder, kicking harder.
The SWA dude finally got on the plane's intercom and says,
"Would you parents please restrain your beastial offspring
  from pressing the "Call Button" every 2 goddamn minutes?

Isn't it odd that parents need to be told to lease their little monsters?

So we're flying over NYC, heading for Islip, NY, where SWA lands.
The pilot, swear to Koresh, comes on and says, "Not sure why, but they've 
assigned us a very, very short runway, not sure why, so when we land, 
we're gonna hit the breaks like crazy so hold on and maybe say a prayer."

The passengers applauded when we landed safely.
I thought they only did that in damn movies.

Audio Clip One    For BCR Subscribers - we'll make it available to everybody soon.

We checked into a fabulous hotel called The Benjamin.

They have a Pillow Consierge - for free.
Not sure what that means, but we don't need some other dude in our bed.

Here's the view out our window.

This is from the 16th Floor which means nobody on the street can see it.
Why spend so much extra for art that only patrons of the hotel across the street can see?

I contacted Mr. White, who will now go by the name "Frank."

Why the name change?
Well, 'Frank' has three fewer keystrokes than 'Mr. White, but more than that,
going to dinner with Mr. White, ...I'd bet, is a lot like going to dinner with Sinatra.

No, seriously...

'Mr White' is much less famous than Frank, possibly due to his request that I not 
use his real name in these stories, but trust me, when Mr White-now-known as Frank
walks into a restaurant, casino or hotel, it's like being with E.F. Hutton when he speaks.
And no, his real name isn't Frank White.

OK, so 'Frank' and me grabbed a Pakistan-native driven cab-and went to this fine apartment 
on what a NY newbie might call the Upper West Side. Hey, I've been to New York before. 
You wouldn't believe what this apartment must've rented for.

In Tulsa, it might've been as much as $2000 a month, so in upper/middle (I don't know) 
West side, this ultra-fine Manhattan apartment could've gone for as much as $2300 a month!

I met some people that the average Okie isn't likely to meet.
One fella's name was Greg, and he was waaaaay into American history.

One of the first things he said to me was "Welcome to XXXXX, where Washington signaled
to Lincoln that the German Zeppelin had blown up in New Jersey" - something like that.
(I might've been guilty of a calm-the-nerves joint prior to this party congealing.)

You gotta understand, I'm the rube from Okieville and Mrs Bart and myself found ourselves in 
the Center of the Universe with three high-end Entertainment Attorneys and Greg the Historian.

Greg, who gave me permission to use his name, is what you might call "highly accomplished."
OK, he's not Roone Arledge, he's not as wealthy as Dick Clark, probably, but he does jobs that
are on the hueueueueuege side, but he told me he'd never been out-ed (That how you spell that?)
on the Internets, and I think his worldwide premier deserves better than what he could get on this page :)

But I will drop this hint:
Maybe he'll get the contract on the new Yankey Stadium Big Screen Scoreboard,
so if that contract goes to a dude named Greg, odds are it's our new friend. 

Like Tommy Mack, Greg started out playing keyboards in a band.
As time went by, he realized he had a talent for hooking things up and making them work.
Now he hooks up really, really big things - after he invents them - and makes them work.

...tequila was consumed at this party - that's OK, nobody was driving.

Tonight's word was "Italian."
We, as a group, had hoped to do a sunset cruise around Manhattan the night Mrs Bart and I arrived,
but Southwest Airlines doesn't always offer every convenience - like landing in NYC - because it's free.

That reminds me - I got a funny cruise-don't cruise story for you.
Lots of weird things happen when you have with a litigator.
(Isn't it odd how much litigator sounds like aligator?)

So we're going to eat some Italian.

 Click  Here for Saturday Part 2 of the New York 08 Trip Report

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