New York City April 2008
Saturday Part 1
Last time we flew out of at Tulsa International,
there were 400 people in line at 5:30 am.
That Saturday morning, there wasn't a soul to
Sometimes two hours isn't enough time, and sometimes
30 minutes will do it.
Then we got a nine-hour reminder why we don't
Screaming, kicking, screaming louder, kicking
The SWA dude finally got on the plane's intercom
"Would you parents please restrain your beastial
from pressing the "Call Button" every
2 goddamn minutes?
Isn't it odd that parents need to be told to lease
their little monsters?
So we're flying over NYC, heading for Islip, NY,
where SWA lands.
The pilot, swear to Koresh, comes on and says,
sure why, but they've
assigned us a very, very short runway, not
sure why, so when we land,
we're gonna hit the breaks like crazy so hold
on and maybe say a prayer."
The passengers applauded when we landed safely.
I thought they only did that in damn movies.
Audio Clip One
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We checked into a fabulous hotel called The
They have a Pillow
Consierge - for free.
Not sure what that means, but we don't need some
other dude in our bed.
Here's the view out our window.
This is from the 16th Floor which means nobody on the street can see
Why spend so much extra for art that only patrons of the hotel across
the street can see?
I contacted Mr. White, who will now go by the
Why the name change?
Well, 'Frank' has three fewer keystrokes than
'Mr. White, but more than that,
going to dinner with Mr. White, ...I'd bet, is
a lot like going to dinner with Sinatra.
'Mr White' is much less famous than Frank, possibly
due to his request that I not
use his real name in these stories, but trust
me, when Mr White-now-known as Frank
walks into a restaurant, casino or hotel, it's
like being with E.F. Hutton when he speaks.
And no, his real name isn't Frank White.
OK, so 'Frank' and me grabbed a Pakistan-native
driven cab-and went to this fine apartment
on what a NY newbie might call the Upper West
Side. Hey, I've been to New York before.
You wouldn't believe what this apartment must've
In Tulsa, it might've been as much as $2000
a month, so in upper/middle (I don't know)
West side, this ultra-fine Manhattan apartment
could've gone for as much as $2300 a month!
I met some people that the average Okie isn't
likely to meet.
One fella's name was Greg, and he was waaaaay
into American history.
One of the first things he said to me was "Welcome
to XXXXX, where Washington signaled
to Lincoln that the German Zeppelin had blown
up in New Jersey" - something like that.
(I might've been guilty of a calm-the-nerves
joint prior to this party congealing.)
You gotta understand, I'm the rube from Okieville
and Mrs Bart and myself found ourselves in
the Center of the Universe with three high-end
Entertainment Attorneys and Greg the Historian.
Greg, who gave me permission to use his name,
is what you might call "highly accomplished."
OK, he's not Roone Arledge, he's not as wealthy
as Dick Clark, probably, but he does jobs that
are on the hueueueueuege side,
but he told me he'd never been out-ed (That how you spell that?)
on the Internets, and I think his worldwide premier
deserves better than what he could get on this page :)
But I will drop this hint:
Maybe he'll get the contract on the new Yankey
Stadium Big Screen Scoreboard,
so if that contract goes to a dude named Greg,
odds are it's our new friend.
Like Tommy Mack, Greg started out playing keyboards in a band.
As time went by, he realized he had a talent for hooking things up
and making them work.
Now he hooks up really, really big things - after he invents them -
and makes them work.
...tequila was consumed at this party - that's
OK, nobody was driving.
Tonight's word was "Italian."
We, as a group, had hoped to do a sunset
cruise around Manhattan the night Mrs Bart and I arrived,
but Southwest Airlines doesn't always offer every
convenience - like landing in NYC - because it's free.
That reminds me - I got a funny cruise-don't
cruise story for you.
Lots of weird things happen when you have with
(Isn't it odd how much litigator sounds
So we're going to eat some Italian.
Here for Saturday Part 2 of the New York 08 Trip Report
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