Vol 106 - Red October Gets Away

Nov 7, 1997

Paula Jones has done it again.

She claims she can prove Bill Clinton is lying about
what happened in that hotel room in Little Rock in 1991.
Paula says the "distinguishing characteristic" she saw
was that "Air Force One" is actually made of wood.

Paula produced a bill from a Little Rock hospital that
she says proves she had several wooden splinters
removed from her lips on that fateful day.


When reporters said that proved she acted improperly,
Paula said "Nevermind," and left with her two pimps,
but the suit still stands.

Now, the judge has issued a gag order.
Paula's pimps argued that that was unfair, because it would take
a very big, custom-made gag to fit over Paula's Limba-sized mouth.
A ruling on that is expected soon.

Y'Know, if Jackie Collins wrote a novel like this,
it would be laughed into oblivion.

Drag a hundred dollar bill thru a trailer park, and you'll
find a tramp willing to say she's Mulder's abducted sister.

And Paula's "splinter" defense won't accomplish anything,
besides selling books to hungry sheep.

Old Business

Please make note of the new BartCop address.

By year's end, we'll drop the old Netcom address.
It's important that we stay in touch.

Uncle JC Watts says he's running for president in 2000.
Snoot says he, too, is running.
Ditto for Dan Quayle.
Ditto for Fred Thompson.
Ditto for Alan Keyes and Pat Buchanan, and Steve Forbes
suddenly has a newfound respect for coathangers.

There's not a sane bastard in that bunch.

The only Repub that used to scare me was William Weld,
but Jesse Helms says he's not even worth a hearing.

Any stock market people out there?
Can I buy short on a political party on Wall Street?

Great GOP Quotes

"I don't agree with my good friend Al Franken
that Rush Limbaugh is a big, fat idiot.
He is merely a morally impoverished ignoramus."
--Arianna Huffington, 1997

(Arianna, you're so sexy when you talk dirty...)

Monkey Mail

From: Model25@aol.com

Subject: BS

just found this crap for brains - forbs won primary here of
course you liberel butholes always lie anyway

Model 25

(Could a half-sheep translate?)

I might've solved Clinton's "ethics" problems once and for all.

Follow me on this:

Either Clinton is guilty,
and he's soooo much smarter than the spiteful, drunken,
knuckle-dragging Republican apes,
who can't EVER catch him doing anything wrong,


He's innocent, and the GOP is guilty of nothing more than
exercizing their constitutional oversight responsibilities.
I suggest we let the Republicans decide what the "truth" is,
whatever the Republicans decide is the "real" truth.

We liberals will stipulate to that - upfront.
It's YOUR decision, GOP, but we want it NOW!

What's it going to be?

Clinton is innocent, or the Republicans
are too stupid to tie their fucking shoes.

It's your choice.

Great GOP Quotes

"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."

 Who else?
 Dan Quayle, plotting his comeback

All across America...

-Murders are down
-Abortions are down
-Teen pregnancy is down
-Gun murders are down
-Drug use is down
-The federal deficit is waaaaaaaaaay the hell down
-Inflation is on life-support
-Unemployment is down


-Real wages are up
-The stock market is still higher than Sam Kinison
-American life expectancy is longer
-Gross Domestic Product is up
-The dollar is way up
-AIDS patients are living longer


Isn't there SOME WAY we can impeach Bill Clinton?

Excuse me, I have a question.

If I call a company like H & R Block and ask a question
about tax deductions, am I not, by definition,
guilty of conspiracy to avoid federal income taxes?
Isn't that the whole point of getting tax advice?
To conspire with an expert to avoid federal income taxes?


"I left the Senate with my dignity intact."
-- Former Sen. Bob Dole, (R - Straddle)

Really, Bob?
Turning Supply-Side whore after 30 years of fiscal sanity
makes you think your dignity is still intact?

Remember during the 1996 campaign, Bob Dole offered
Colin Powell the position of Secretary of State.
Then, when they told old Bob that it was ILLEGAL to offer
a cabinet position before actually winning the presidency,
Bob winked and smiled and said:

"Ok. Let's say I'll offer him a high-ranking cabinet position."

That sounds like conspiracy to dodge campaign laws,
which is the crime they're currently trying to hang on
the most productive president we've ever had.

If I was a lying, nazi whore, I'd DEMAND that we dig up
Bob Dole's body and put HIM on trial.
Look at it THIS way:

Tennessee Tuxedo just adjourned the 19th Congressional
Committee trying to pin something on President Clinton.

Besides those 19 committees, Janet Reno still has four special
prosecutors digging thru every scrap of evidence trying to find
a traffic ticket against our best-ever president.

There's been no evidence of wrongdoing whatsoever,
yet ditto-monkeys continue to insist that the Clinton
Administruation (sic) is "the most corrupt in history."

What a crock!

I have a question.
Perhaps a sheep could answer this for me?
I must warn you, though - it's a tough question.

Can anybody tell me the difference between
a felony and an unproven allegation?
There's a reward.

I'll payoff in cash, Woolite, ammonium nitrate, whatever.

Rush said Clinton was "coddling" Jiang.

Rush GUARANTEED his ditto-monkeys - repeat - GUARANTEED
his ditto-monkeys that,even though Clinton scolded Jiang in frank terms
before live TV cameras around the world, to hear Piggly Wiggly tell the tale...

"It was all a sham. Clinton told Jiang to ignore the tough
talk and that Jiang could keep on killing whoever he wanted."


John McLaughlin, no Clinton fan, described the moment as
"in-your-face... a tense, unyielding public facedown
on global television ...unprecedented."

Hey, Tuna-boy... I have two questions:

Why is McLaughlin lying about this?
When did he become Bill Clinton's Cabanaboy?
Or, could it be that McLaughlin is LESS a whore than Limba?
If I'm wrong, maybe somebody could SPLANE it to me.


Would this situation be anything like the time Ronald Reagan,
after Hezbollah MURDERED 220 of our Marines in Lebanon,
pretend-warned them that "You can run, but you can't hide?"

Turns out there was NO REASON for the terrorists to hide.
Ollie Traitor North had their home address.
He had to know where to send the Stinger Missles that Reagan
agreed to deliver to the most radical shits in Iran.
(I feel sick.)

So, let's sum up what we know for certain:

Reagan warned the murdering terrorists that he'd get them,
but sold them Stinger missles instead,
then LIED about it to the American people on live TV.
(Roll over, Benedict)

Compare THAT string of crimes with Clinton's face-to-face
scolding Jiang for human rights abuses.

Clinton didn't make a deal with Big Terror.
Clinton didn't sell weapons to terrorists.
Clinton didn't need pardons to escape Justice.

I guess this is ANOTHER example of Clinton having
"the most corrupt administration in history?"

Great Independent Quotes

"How dumb can I be?"

--Ross Perot, live on C-Span Nov 1, 1997

Thirty-one years ago, Captain Kirk was forced to kiss Uhura,
a black woman, right on the lips, for the amusement of his
omni-present, superior-being alien captors.

They called that a "groundbreaking" episode, because it
was taboo to show whites and blacks kissing in the 60's.
Jeez, had we never gotten over that taboo, Clarence "Slappy"
Thomas wouldn't be allowed to kiss his wife in public.
...and wouldn't that be a shame?

And that Star Trek episode didn't even have a disclaimer
WARNING the Christian homes that a taboo was about to fly.

Yet, we survived.

Flash forward to 1997 and the ABC Television Network.
Thirty-one loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong
years after crossing that tittilating taboo, ABC, who we all know as
the anti-Christ network, decides the children must be protected from
the inevitable taboo crossing oftwo women holding hands, kissing,
or in bed together on that evil "Ellen" show.

In 1997, it's easy to see how dorky we were in 1966 to
cringe at the sight of a black woman kissing a white man.
Jesus, grow up, America.
And we did.

So why is the sky falling if a women kisses a woman?

In European countries, men greet by kissing on the lips.
This is an entirely different subject.

Compare the sight of two Baywatch babes cuddling to, say,
Frank Gifford and Dan Dierdorf together.
I'm sorry, one works and one doesn't.

And to top it off, we get the BIG GOP lie.
Al Gore said that Ellen episode "would force America
to look at the issue" of gay rights in America.
So what did the GOP do with that?

They changed it.

They claim Gore said he wanted to "force homosexuality
down America's throat," their very favorite metaphor.

Why do Republicans have to lie?
Is it because the truth won't do?
Does the truth make Democrats look too good?

A collective "Eat me" to the lying Republicans.

Special Guest Column
by Molly Ivins

AUSTIN -- One of the greatest running gags for five years now
has been the sight of the Republicans gathered in a lynch mob
trying to hang President Clinton with a frayed string.
Whitewater, Travelgate, Filegate - those strings keep breakin'.

The Republican posse is gathering once more, and this time they've
got a good, stout rope. Trouble is, every time they try to tighten
the noose, it turns out to be around their own necks.

Their latest effort to hang Clinton for campaign fund-raising
violations is the cancellation of this past week's Senate hearings
on account of that noose is around some Republican throats.
And there could be no nicer neck to squeeze than that of the
pluperfect hypocrite, Sen. Don Nickles of Oklahoma.

Don "No Administration Has Ever Been This Sleazy" Nickles
turns out to be in bed with a Republican outfit called Triad Services.

Triad is a private, conservative "consulting firm" that helps
right-wing donors make contributions to GOP candidates outside the
purview of federal election laws. It was started by a fund-raiser
for Oliver North to coordinate money transfers between conservative
political action committees and tax-exempt groups. Keep in mind that
coordinating political campaigns and the activities of tax-exempt
groups is illegal. A National Republican Campaign Committee
spokesman said: "We do not do any coordination with them.
That would be improper."

Nickles appeared in a marketing video for Triad, promoting the
firm's work. Triad funneled tens of thousands of dollars into
Nickles' political action committee in 1996. Triad raises money
for three tax-exempt groups: Citizens for Reform (love the name),
the Citizens for the Republic Education Fund,
and the Coalition for our Children's Future (!).

These groups then run ads attacking Democrats.

Nickles wants to cut off Sen. Fred Thompson's hearings into
campaign financing abuses before they get to Triad. The latest
ploy by the Republicans is to pretend great indignation that
Democrats on the committee got hold of a list of Triad's donors,
due to a slip-up by the bank that had the records. Naturally,
Democrats are busy leaking the names all over Washington.
Also naturally, Nickles' spokesman claims that his desire to end
the hearings has nothing to do with Triad.

Turns out that one of Triad's donors is Koch Industries, an oil
company in Wichita, Kan., the nation's second-largest privately
held company. Nickles has received large donations from Koch for
many years, and in 1989 he defended the company against
allegations that it had illegally taken oil from the Osage Indian
reservation and from federal property.

A Senate study concluded that Koch Industries shortchanged the
tribe, but Nickles tried to stop the Senate committee's inquiry.
The U.S. attorney who handled the grand jury investigation into

Koch was recommended by Nickles for the post.
Nickles later nominated him for a federal judgeship.

None of this excuses illegal fund-raising by the Democrats.
It just makes it funnier that guys like Nickles are posing as
decent, law-abiding citizens.

It's enough to make a hearse horse snicker.

Molly Ivins

Want to write to Paula Jones?
Here you go.


Notice how she links her name with America's president,
just like Jennifer Flowers in her new book,
"Do Me, Mr. President, Do Me Now," published by Doubleday.

I gave Paula a subscription to RL-LNW.
Least I could do...

Great Sheep Quotes

Caller: But Rush, we HAVE to impeach Clinton!

Rush: Impeach him for what crime?

Caller: For ALL his crimes!

Rush: Specifically, what charge?

Caller: I... I... I...

Accidentally, Feedbag backs into the real world.
Did you hear him beeping?

Yeah, Cowardly Lyin.
Tell those wide-eyed curtain-crawlers the truth.
You've ranted for five years about Clinton's "crimes."
Tell yer sheep why Clinton isn't being impeached, Porky!

Reaction to my Promise Keepers Expose'
A Stand-In-The-Gapper wrote:

"It costs $54 per person to put on a PK show. This includes rental
of the stadium, audio/video equipment, registration packets, meals,
transportation and expenses for speakers and musicians, etc.
And 1998's PK stadium events will be offered at no charge.

I smell a rat.
It costs $54 per person, and they won't charge next year,
so they're going to lose $2,700,000 every show?

This is organized religion stealing from the stupid.

I recently got the scare of my life.

Paula Bignose says she only wants her "good reputation" back,
but her naked pictures in Penthouse kinda ruined that.

As you know, I've claimed the moral high ground from Paula Jones
because nobody in America has a picture of ol' BartCop naked.
Should such pictures surface, I'd have to admit I'm almost as bad
Paula Jones, but better-looking and without the extortion demands.

A videotape arrived in the mail with no return address.
I had the LNW lab boys check for explosives. It was clean.
So I started watching the tape. It showed an attractive,
nude couple having sex on a boat on Lake Mead.

Good God.

There's a LOT about that trip to Vegas that I don't remember.
I remember something about money smelling like chickens,
some pantsless women asking if I could use another drink,
and some kind of test on a boat on Lake Mead.
Trust me, the guy on this tape was REALLY passing his test!

One thing for certain:
The ferocious sex on the tape proved they were big-D Democrats.

So I'm watching this tape in sheer panic.
I was thinking I must've gotten drunk, and somehow,
innocently grabbed one of those pants-less cocktail
waitresses from the Rio Casino, promised her the world
and stole her away for a wild ride, BartCop-style.

This could cost me, politically.
I could come out of this looking more insincere than
Don Nickles at a Triad anti-soft money rally.

Then, in a moment, I was saved.
A closer look at the tape showed the gentleman had
the word "Mayhem" tattooed on his chest.

I, BartCop, have no such tattoo.

Turns out, the fella's name was Tommy.
He's in a band of some kind in Los Angeles and he's
married to an attractive blonde girl named Pamela.
And they ARE democrats.

You can see it on the tape.

Monkey Mail

From: flyray@snet.net

Subject: Stranger than nonficion

you just plain EVIL but this comes easy for you
dosn't it take intellijents to be EVCIL


(Ray, when was the last time you changed the foil in your hat?)

I can't wait.
ADM's G-5 should be here in a couple of hours.

The RL-LNW Staff is flying to St Louis to see U2 play some
Bubble Popping', Sugar Droppin', Rock N Roll, roll, roll, roll...
We're going on a private jet sent by that Andreas dude from ADM.
(See Volume 99)

They gave us our own jet for the weekend, rooms in St. Louis's
fabulous Union Station, tickets on the floor, backstage passes...

Yeah...yeah, I can see it more clearly now!

Blacks are lazy, the poor don't WANT to have any money,
and gay people are just an abomination against almighty God.

...this whore business pays really well.

Great GOP Quotes

"I have never believed in a third political party,
...but the Republicans are making me reconsider."
--Thomas Sowell, smarter than Clarence Thomas

This just in...

Jesse Helms is accused of using a racial slur against
Clarence "Slappy" Thomas on a flight from San Diego to
Washington D.C. after the Republican Convention.

The stewardess asked the passengers what movie they'd
like to watch on the 4-hour flight back.

Clarence was first to suggest a movie,
asking once AGAIN for "Booty Call."

Senator Helms said, "Nigger, please..."

Saw it on the Newsgroups

Hello friends and welcome to NAME THAT PENIS!

America's favorite new TV game show featuring contestants
from around the world try to beat our expert, Paula Jones.
Paula Jones, the foremost expert on male genitalia in
America has never seen a male-member she doesn't remember.

Using her fantastic cock-memory of countless images of
male reproductive organs, Paula has yet to see a dick she
can't remember and describe in exacting detail from memory.

And, if the Cock Expert can't visually identify the organ
visually, she can always fall back on her oral skills
gleaned over a lifetime of examining male organs up close.

If you think you have a penis Paula hasn't "net," and you plan
to be in Los Angeles and would like an opportunity to try to
"stump" Paula Jones, just write to:

Name That Penis
XONA Entertainment Group
Los Angeles, CA 69069

Great Democrat Quotes

Sen Dominici: Mr. Ickes, did you call a Mr. Wilson on
                        March 13, 1995 to request a contribution?

Harold Ickes: I may have, I don't specifically recall.

Sen Dominici: Did you call a Bob Walker on March 15th?

Harold Ickes: Again, Senator, maybe.
                        I don't have all my notes.

Sen Dominici: You're known as a fairly sharp man, Mr. Ickes.
                        Why is it you can't remember any specifics?

Harold Ickes: I can't remember every single call, Senator.

Sen Dominici: Mr. Ickes, do you expect this panel to believe...

Harold Ickes: Senator, ...(sigh) ...let me put it this way:
                        I have allergies. But that doesn't mean
                        I remember each individual sneeze.

Sen Dominici: Oh, you're GOOD!
                        You're VERY good, Mr. Ickes!

Harold Ickes: Blow it out your ass, Senator.

(Cheeses, where can we VOTE for this Mr. Ickes?)

...This just in!

New Hampshire Senator Bob Smith, (R-Bonehead) says the Senate
might file PERJURY charges against Harold Ickes.

"When people say they don't remember, when they do it
under oath, that, to me, is perjury," said Smith.

ha ha

Ladies and Gentlemen, this will NOT happen.

They don't want any more of Harold Ickes.
They don't want to see his face again,
they don't want to hear his voice again.

If they try to lay a glove on Ickes, he'll smoke 'em.
Ickes could suddenly get big enough to challenge Gore.
Ickes is Carville with restraint.
Ickes is Clinton with a temper.
Ickes is BartCop with an education.

I don't think we'll see Harold Ickes testify again.

From: stymie@supremecourt.gov
To: anyone@anywhere.com

Subject: Slappy's Candy Cane

Please help me get off!!
Are you a hot man?

If yes, hurry-up and call me because I need you sooo bad.
I'm totally hot and bothered, I need you.
I need you so bad that the call is on me!
That's right, FREE.
Call and let's get off together.

Dial 1-664-410-1290
I'm waiting......

Call now.
Ask for Stymie

Monkey Mail

From: jlsomers@webtv.net

Subject: you make me puk

Jack Somers

(Jack, you have the right to remain silent.)

A letter to the Tulsa World editorial page:


Sometimes, just standing in the checkout line at
the grocery store can really provide an education.

The gentleman in front of me sipped at whiskey from a bottle
in his coat and muttered through his beard about his problems
with women, dogs and grandsons. The Oklahoma Department of
Human Services recently placed his grandson in a foster home.

"You gotta teach 'em," he kept saying.
"They is all alike, you gotta show them who is boss.
The more you beat a dog, the more he minds you.
Kids is the same way, ...and women."


"They told me the first time the boy got a mark on his body,
I'd go to prison." Since he didn't want to go to prison,
he surrendered the boy to the state and the foster home.

I breathed a sigh of relief when he said the DHS took the
boy just before he (grandpa) rented a place in the country
"so nobody could hear them screams."
--from Dean Sims, Tulsa Oklahoma

Ladies and gentlemen, you've just met an Oklahoma voter.

These are the same voters who elected Don "Triad" Nickles,
Inhofe the Broken Turd, Ernest "I'll-Pick-The-Prayer" Istook,
Steve Largent and Tom "Got-Wood-During-Schindler's" Coburn,
known nationwide as "The Jesus Twins."

Oklahoma is a great place to raise a family.

Speaking of those wacky Jesus Twins, did you know Largent
introduced legislation to abolish the IRS?

I know that's a favorite line of the creation-science crowd,
but SOMEBODY has to pay for Red-Ink Reagan's Wild Ride.
And Largent submits this bill without ANY suggestion of
a replacement for the current IRS.

I mean, C'mon, you wacky, Coathanger Coalition types!

Even if we cut off all funding for Medicare, Medicade,
Social Security and Education, we STILL have a trillion-dollar
military that needs funding from SOME source, right?

Suddenly, Trent Lott looks sane.

Meanwhile, Lott told Largent to "get real" about
killing the IRS, and Largent, who breathes soft-money,
told Lott "You need to get out of the way."

ha ha

I ask you:
What's more fun than watching two Republicans fight?

Great "Here Piggy, Piggy" Quotes

"I don't want to spend all day talking about Clinton's penis,
 but what choice do I have?"

-- Thunder Thighs, on his hate radio show, October 23

Dan Burton and Dan Quayle drove to a gas station in DC
for a fill-up because they heard about a contest.
Dan asked Gasboy about the contest rules.

"If you win, you get free sex," said the attendant.

"How do we play?" asked Burton

"Well, I'm thinking of a number between 1-10.
Guess it, and you get free sex."

"OK. I'll guess 7," said Quayle.

"Sorry, I was thinking of 8," replied the attendant.
"Come back soon and try again."

Back at the car, Dan Burton said to Danny,
"Maybe this contest is rigged."

"No, it's for real," said Quayle.
"My wife Marilyn won twice last week."

Great GOP Quotes

"I'd like to thank you all, ....Ahhh, for being here.
In this room years ago, we, ....Ahhh, together we set the
record for the most money every raised in one night.

"I'm pleased to announce that tonight, the money you've given
has surpassed the all-time record we, together, set years ago."

--Ronald Reagan, in the White House, on videotape,
not only ADMITTING he broke campaign laws,
...but bragging that he was the biggest crook EVER!

You know, if I was a crude, nazi bastard like Limba,
I'd make some comment like "We ought to dig up Ronald Reagan
and put his crooked ass on trial."

Since I'm not, I won't.

Monkey Mail

From: jchilds@dallas.net
Cc: rush@eibnet.com

(A Copy to Limba?
NOW I'm in trouble.)

Subject: See I Told You So

BartCop every satire contains a smidgun of truth to be
funny your interview confirms for everyone that the
immoral liberal left is without a issue funny how
Rush can do satire without a hint of profanity

No hint of profanity?
Hillary murdered Vince Foster?
Chelsea is the "White House Dog?"
Clinton raped teen virgins at the Governor's Mansion
and ordered the murders of his political opponents?
...and you think my language is out of line?
I guess it depends on your definition of profanity.

...your attempt is strewn with the footprints of stupidity,

"strewn with the footprints of stupidity?
And you claim I write more bad than that?

...probably credited to the public school system.

Regular readers know I grew up in a Catholic POW camp.
I won't hold your ignoranc (sic) against you.

Facist right-wing pig Regards,

Admitting it is a good first step.

Jay Childs

...This is Jay Childs in his 12-Step program:

Sponsor: You have to SAY it, or we can't help you...

Jay: Ok...

Sponsor: C'mon, Jay.
               You can DO it.
               Just say the words!

Jay: My name is Jay...

Bella: You can DO it...

Jay: ...and I'm a Republican!

Sponsor: You DID it!
                Great, now we can start on that loooooooong road back.

Jay: Will you be there for me?

Sponsor: Every step of the way.
               If you feel the need to slur a gay person, call me.
               If you get the urge to call a black man "nigger," call me.

Jay: But...but... I just listened to the Rush Limba show.
        I want to call liberals "nigger-loving-faggots" right now.

Sponsor: Rub your stone.

Jay: But...but how can I get through this?

Sponsor: One day at a time...

MISC Quotes to Remember

William F. Buckley, "We should legalize Marijuana."

Jean Paul Sartre, "Hell is Other People!"

Clarence Thomas, "Is that a pubic hair?"

Albert Einstein, "E=MC^2"

Barry Goldwater, "Clinton is MY President!"

Camus, "Sysiphus Who?"

George Schultz, "Dammit, Mr. President, this is ILLEGAL!"

Leona Helmsley, "Only the little people pay taxes."

George Bush, "Midnight basketball is about families."

BartCop, "Eat Me"

Kant, "Time Sucks... based on Pure Reason!"

Kierkegard, "GOD is DEAD, and we have killed Him!"

O.J. Simpson, "I might take a stab at it..."

Dan Quayle, "Hawaii is in the Pacific. That is an ocean."

My Boss, "How much will it cost?"

Dennis Miller, "Fuck this shit...."

Ronald Reagan, "The Brady Bill is good legislation."

Jimmy Buffet, "Spider John is my name friend..."

Bryan Long, "F=Ma, well...most of the time..."

Rush: "I tried to lie, but I just couldn't."

Now I'm pissed off again.

Governors like GOP baby-killer Whitman of New Jersey and
mayors like baby-killer Giuliani of New York won their
elections because America is better off than it was in 1992.

Clinton's crime bill had a lot to do with the drop in crime.
Clinton's economic boom put a lot of people to work,
which further lowered the crime rate.

The Clinton boom also balanced the federal budget,
which made interest rates drop, and lowered everybody's
load since it decreased the amount of money each of us owe.

They're riding the Clinton Gravy Train.
That pisses me off.

Monkey Mail

From: kz208595@oak.cats.ohiou.edu

Subject: your insluting

My name is Karlis.

If Rush Limbaugh is a neo-nazi hitler wannabe,
then Bill Clinton is a marxest lennonest wannabe.

You're half-right, Karlis.

Conservatives put minorities into REAL positions of power,
because they are the best person for the job.
Liberals, however, use TOKEN minorities to show they CARE.
The GOP has more minorities in power than the Democrats.
I mean REAL power, not token-power.

Karlis, are you for fucking real?

Let's play a little game.
You and me.
Right now.

Let's take turns listing the names of black people
elected to "real power" in Congress by conservatives, OK?
I'll go first.

BartCop: Uncle OJ Watts of Oklahoma.


BartCop: Your turn, Karlis.


BartCop: Your turn, Karlis.


BartCop: Karlis, it's your turn to name a black person
elected by conservatives, and you can't mention
a quota-appointee like Clarence "Slappy" Thomas.


BartCop: Karlis, you said there were SO MANY!
But you can't name ONE?
What's wrong, Karlis?
Whore got your tongue?

Next time you whine about "all the REAL POWER"
the GOP elected blacks to, remember:

This time, ol' BartCop let you off easy.
Next time, you'll dance.

Great GOP Quotes

"We are the party of tolerance."

Who Else?
Dan Quayle, our next president.

Monkey Mail

From: tomcorr@ix.netcom.com

Subject: asswhole

Your asswhole


Tom, are you crazy 'bout a ford truck?

RL-LNW Review


Bartcop fires from the left at a gallery of Right Wing
wacko's, often using a discouraged word.

Many of the words in BartCop's personal hate mail
are Rated R, but a must read for anyone over 17.

(If not for cave-mail, I could get a PG rating.)

Great Quotes

"I'm not comfortable attacking Hillary, but I'll do it."

Choco-Master of Puppets, July 5, 1996

Monkey Mail

From: asdle@pacbell.com

Subject: The Truth

I have just one questions, wiseguy.
If Republicans are all klansmen,
if Rush Limbaugh is a racist, like you say,
why are his calls screened by a nigger?


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