Fun with Politics
The Washington Post gets Serious
Subject: Hi, Bartcop!!!
Hi there! I'm a 20-yr-old
college student in Reno, Nv. I really dig
your website, and I'm going to order some Ruck Fush t-shirts. I could go on
and on about how much I appreciate it when a leftwinger stands up for what
s/he believes in and tells the truth about the corporate press and the
corruption in our government and how Bill Clinton was one kick-ass president
(especially compared to the barely verbal dumbell who's coming in) but I'm
sure that you get complimentary letters every day.
I just wanted to say thanks a lot for brightening
my day and I LOVE your commentary
about Rush, Mr. "Feminism is a club for ugly women who can't fit into 'normal' society"
(that's an actual quote).
Rush can kiss my liberal Planned-Parenthood volunteering
NOW-member goodlooking ass.
I like the cartoons on your site also. Keep up all your good work! I write for my school
newspaper and next semester I'm going to write a column and put your website address in it,
if that's okay with you.
"I'm not a racist prick - honest!"
Mrs. Clinton Walks Political
Tightrope on Ashcroft Debate
-- New York Whore Times
Since Smirk is filling his cabinet with racists, has-beens and
why can't he find a place for Rick Lazio?
During the campaign, the GOP said he was sooooooo qualified.
Last Dem in New York
Subject: John Edwards
The show is called "John Edwards - Crossing Over"
and it started once a week
about 6 months ago but is now on almost every night. Also, the show is on
the Sci-Fi channel which is not "some weird cable deal".
"Vegas Week" premiered on the Travel Channel, it confused me.
I get confused a lot, now that I've stopped drinking.
I watched "Crossing Over" last night, and I think he's better live than
but that was weird how he worked that "I Love Lucy" connection.
His new show premiers Sunday, alongside Regis, Sopranos, X-Files, etc etc.
Maureen Dowd Hates Everyone
Now it's Smirk's turn
Happy Birthday Susanne Hoffs
Question: A show or two back, when Tony strongly, strongly
suspected Big Pussy was the
George Stephanopolous in his midst, he went to him, looked him in the eye and said:
"We are your friends, your family - you have options..."
Pussy said, "What are you talking about? I'm doing OK..."
Knowing what we know, why would he do that?
If his choices are prison, death or running, why not run?
When Junior taxed Hesh, he arbitrarily picked a figure of $500,000,
we're dealing with a group that can come up with say, $1,000,000 pretty easily.
Surely, for this bunch, fake IDs and passports are no problem, right?
I realize scared people do crazy things, but if I'm looking
at death, prison,
OR a million dollars and living with my family in Sicily or Mexico or Amsterdam,
I'm going to be real happy for the rest of my life.
If you're in Washington Saturday,
Especially if you're in costume or plan to be arrested.
Bonus points for holding a bartcop.com sign,
maybe one that says, "Buck Fush"
No thanks for the memories,
by Don Feder
A major bullshit refutation
Great Liberal Quotes
"The question is: Can we believe in this
conversion and do we trust that as attorney general,
a lifetime of work to try to undue the law that protects women will not come into play?"'
-- Kate Michelman, NARAL president, about religio-wacko John Ashcroft
Found on wlsam.com "dr" laura message board.
Subject: THE 10 COMMANDMENTS FOR DR. LAURA CALLERS
1. You will call me "Dr. Laura", because I am a doctor of physiology.
Neither my radio show, my television show, nor my books are about
physiology, but if you are misled, that's your fault.
2. You will commend me on my television show, despite low ratings,
stations that have dropped it from their schedule, and sponsors who run
screaming when they hear my name.
3. You will begin to ask me a moral question. I will begin to
before you finish your question (some may call this interrupting). If
your question is not in harmony with the point I want to make, I will
tell you what the REAL issue is. If I can make ANY tie-in to my agendas
against the ACLU or American Library Association, I will.
4. You will agree with my conclusions about the people involved
in your dilemma
(whom I probably have never met, but whom I know better than you do), and I will
make a recommendation to you based solely on your side of the story (unless you can
get these other people on the telephone so that I can nag them, or nag you for them
(so long as I get to nag someone)). If you follow my recommendation, and it leads to
disaster, you will not hold me responsible, as this is only my opinion, and YOU called ME.
5. You will use the terms I tell you to use, such as "shacking
up" (living together),
"suck it into a sink" (abortion), "shack up honey" (live-in girlfriend), "warm place to put it"
(single woman having sex), or just plain "slut" (single woman having sex who is your mother,
sister, daughter, or ex-wife).
6. You will accept my apology for your sensitivity to my use of
the terms "biological error"
and "deviant" referring to homosexuality. I apologized in Daily Variety, a publication I'm sure
is read by all my listeners, thus I did not have to apologize on the show where I used those terms.
7. You will not be offended if, during your call, I blame you
for your problem, call you a liar,
accuse you of not telling the whole story, claim to care more about your children than you do,
or hang up simply because I'm tired of you.
8. You will give me facts, not feelings, because I don't care
about your feelings,
even though you worship me.
9. You will not question me about how I can host a radio show,
host a television show, manage
a charitable foundation, publish books, and sell merchandise while still being a full-time mom.
I will, however, call you selfish if you place your child in daycare so you can have ONE job
just to keep him clothed, housed, and fed.
10. You will do the right thing (listen to and obey me)
- hypocrites all over the world
by Nick Barlow, bartcop.com London Correspondent
Subject: I was rude
Last night at 10PM my husband saw me on
Channel 5 and at nine one of my
daughter's friends saw me on Channel 25. Channel 4 had a microphone &
camera right next to channel's 5's, but as far as I know they didn't show
any part of it. Paul Barby watched the channel 4 & 5 taping.
I confess to being very rude to Governor
Frank Keating. After Paul and I carried a sign
in the Silent March, I got as close to the speakers at the bell ringing as I could. I was about
10 feet from the Guv and before it was his turned I stared at him for about 10-15 minutes,
not continuously, but close. He kept looking away.
The person introducing him commented that
he had been ringing the bell every
January since the first time in Jan. 1995. One of them even said that Keating was
possibly instrumental in getting the holiday in OKC. Some one please check that out.
I was wearing a red sweatshirt. When
Keating began to speak I step around and
turned my back to him. I asked the guy facing me if Keating could see me and he said, yes.
While he was speaking, when he would say some ridiculous things, I made faces.
After he finished, Channel 25's cameraman
came to me and asked if they could talk to me.
I said pretty much the same thing to all three stations.
They asked why I turned my back to the governor.
I can't give you a direct quote, but it was something like this.
"That man is the last person in Oklahoma
who should be asked to talk on Martin
Luther King Day. In January, 1995 when he rang that bell for the first time he also said
that 'Being a Republican Catholic in Oklahoma in 1995 was like being a black person in Selma,
Alabama in 1943. He has no idea what was going on in Alabama in 1943.
There has never been a Republican Catholic lynched in Oklahoma.
He believes that everyone has the same
treatment under the law as anyone else.
Wanda Jean Allen's family had collected only $800 to help with investigators argue
for her life so that is not true. Yesterday, Governor Keating said Wanda Jean's
IQ was 86, when it wasn't even 80 and many say it wasn't even 70.
There are no rich people on death row.
It took him 6 or 7 years to appoint a
black person to anything.
If I witness any more of his speeches, he is going to see my back again."
Now I am not sure of those exact words,
but they are close.
I was rude and I am not sorry.
I think it's an excellent idea to get back into this.
America needs to be reminded what "crimes" are.
Lawsuit Could Reopen Watergate
By SETH HETTENA, Associated Press Writer
BALTIMORE (AP) - A defamation suit went to trial Tuesday that could
reopen the Watergate scandal
and bring some of its major figures back into court.
The lawsuit was brought by a former secretary for the Democratic National
She is seeking $5.1 million from G. Gordon Liddy for claiming that the burglars who broke
into DNC headquarters at the Watergate complex were looking for photographs that could
link John Dean's future wife to a call-girl ring.
The former secretary, Ida ``Maxie'' Wells, says Liddy falsely accused
her of procuring prostitutes
for the DNC in the early 1970s.
Dean, who was Nixon's chief White House lawyer, is expected to take
the stand to deny the accusations.
His wife, Maureen, also is listed as a possible witness for Wells. Other potential witnesses listed by both
sides include Watergate figures E. Howard Hunt, Charles Colson and James McCord.
Jury selection began Tuesday.
``This is the first time, frankly, that the purpose of the break-in
will be litigated in court,''
said Liddy attorney John B. Williams.
Liddy arranged the June 17, 1972, burglary that ultimately led to Nixon's
Liddy served four years and four months in prison and now is a conservative radio talk-show host.
Dean cooperated with Watergate prosecutors and served four months in
He has recently worked an investment banker in Beverly Hills.
The lawsuit contends Liddy has repeatedly, and falsely, claimed that
the break-in at DNC headquarters
in the Watergate office complex was ordered not to repair a previously installed telephone tap but to
recover photos and phone numbers of Dean's fiancee. According to the lawsuit, Liddy says Dean's
fiancee was a member of a call-girl ring.
The lawsuit says Liddy claims Wells ``kept photographs of prostitutes
in her desk at the DNC;
showed them to visitors to the DNC; and then placed phone calls to the call-girl ring to arrange
the meeting between the visitors and the prostitutes.''
Wells' lawyer, David M. Dorsen, notes that she later became personal secretary to President Carter.
``It defies belief that if there were an active prostitution ring operating
out of the DNC in 1971-1972,
in which (Wells) played a conspicuous role, no Democratic worker or official came forward to protect
President Carter from the political scandal of having as his secretary an alleged former madam,
who supposedly pimped for countless Democratic bigwigs,'' Dorsen said in court papers.
At a hearing last week, Chief Judge J. Frederick Motz said lawyers on
both sides might want to
``shake hands, and say this is a wonderful piece of history that ought to stay that way.''
Liddy attorney Kerri Hook said that is not likely.
``The word `settle' is not in Gordon's vocabulary,'' Hook said last week.
The lawsuit was filed in 1997. Motz ruled in 1998 that Wells was a public
figure, which required her
to prove Liddy acted with ``actual malice.'' She was unable to meet that high standard and Motz
threw out the lawsuit. However, a federal appeals court reinstated the lawsuit.
Liddy began talking about Wells in speeches after Dean sued Liddy and
the authors of a 1991 book,
``Silent Coup,'' over its claim that Dean instigated the Watergate break-in. Dean dropped his case
against Liddy last summer.
Great Republican Quotes
"The Pope is wrong
in opposing the death penalty.
The pontiff has misinterpreted the teachings of the church."
-- OK Gov Frank Keating (R-Better Catholic than the Pope)
I'd never say that.
I, for one, respect the Pope.
More GOP Voices from the Past
McVeigh To Join Koresh On May
by Richard Green of the Associated Press, January 16, 2001
by Clarity Penn
Read the Previous
It has everything - sophisticated satire, cloud-cutting insight and babes.
Copyright © 2001, bartcop.com
Thanks for the fumble, Dude.