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Volume 385 - The Salon Issue.... .....
 January 19, 2001

 Message from the Ediotr:
 bartcop.com  has been struggling in obscurity for many years. Due to the frank opinions expressed
 and the utilization of the language most Americans use, commercial sponsorship is impossible to obtain.
 In November, I took the leap and asked readers to send in contributions so  bartcop.com  could,
 as our new President-select might say, "Grow the pie higher."

 So we took all that money and sent it to  Salon.com  since they were the most visible "mainstream"
 political site that accepted advertising. They rejected the first banners we sent to introduce ourselves,
 but we were able to agree on the banners that possibly brought you here.

 BartCop is a recovering Catholic afflicted with ADD and an IQ of 64, but we have a lot of fun.
 We try not to take anything too seriously, and we caution readers not to use  bartcop.com as a
 research tool or a reference catalog. Like Rush Limbaugh and the Devil, we mix lies with the truth.

 We update several times a day, and we generally have very short articles.
 I have the attention span of a ferret on Jolt, so larger, in-depth articles are linked.
 I learned to read using Superman and Batman comic books, so we have lots of cartoons.

 Unlike most one-person political pages, you can debate the boss here.
 Some web sites, like that snivelling coward at rushonline.comboast about how correct their political
 positions are but in reality they are afraid to debate, so they cower like little scared bunnies.
 We are afraid of nobody because we know we are right.

 So enjoy the site, and let me hear from you.
 Remember, we're here to have fun.
 By the way, I do know how to spell editor. That's a joke.

 By the way, you might ask,
 "Why spend all that money (Salon.com is not cheap) on a single day's worth of advertising?"

 Well, today is America's last day under an elected President.
 I thought it was worth it.

 How does it feel?

 ...knowing your new president went AWOL for almost two years during wartime
 and America's whore press refuses to ask him where the hell he was?

 Great "Liberal Media" Quotes

 "Clinton gave a policy speech tonight instead of his usual warm, personal speech.
   He did this because he knows the American people are telling him,
  'Here's your hat, Mr President, sorry you have to go...' "
      -- Jeff Greenfield, Senior Distorter - CNN, after last night's speech.

 Greenfield, you're either too stuipid to work in a newsroom or you're a whore.
 The people aren't asking Clinton to leave, the 22nd Amendment demands it.

 Clinton is still at 65 percent approval.
 Neither of the new guys have reached that high, once we got to know them, anyway.
 How many times did we hear Republicans who attended Demo Con 2000 say,
 "I sure am glad we don't have to run against him a third time."

 You must know this, yet you imply America is pushing him out the door.

 For what reason did you put your personal, hate-Clinton views
 over the views expressed again and again by the majority of Americans?

 Was the truth not sufficient, Jeff?
 Are you trying to win back some switched-to-Fox News ditto-heads?

God help our country...

 From: Tina Fey

 Subject: Honor and Dignity

 Did you hear Ricky Martin will sing at the Inaugural?
 Yeah, he's doing a concert at the Lincoln Memorial.

 Bush promised to restore honor and dignity to the White House.
 So what does he do?

 He hires a former soap opera actor to sing "She Bangs" under the Great Emancipator.

 George W. Bush's Eggnoggural Address
  by Margaret Shemo

 Click  Here

 ...great column, Margaret.

 Not everyone is happy with the installed president.
 We asked Sunny from the WWF her opinion of appointed President Smirk.

 How does it feel?

 ...knowing your new president's minders would rather haul Snarl out of his hospital bed
 immediately after heart surgery than trust President Butt-Head to act on his own?

 From: mmusselman@woh.rr.com

 Subject: Love your site

 I like your site, read every new issue, even though I don't agree with most of it.
 Can you tell me, why you disagree with a tax cut?


 Mussel, we must blame Reagan and what George Herbert-Herbert Bush called "Voodoo Economics."
 Reagan and Bush spent America close to bankruptcy. Even with the Clinton miracle,
 we owe a tremendous amount of money that is costing us millions per day in interest.

 We should have tax cuts the minute we're no longer in severe debt,
 but that's not going to be anytime soon.

 Debt is debt, whether it's a family or the government.
 If a family making $40,000 a year owes $10,000 to credit cards, then gets a raise to $60,000,
 it makes fiscal sense to decrease their debt before planning that big trip to Disney World.

 We're on the same side - everybody wants a tax cut.
 But let's plan that trip to Orlando after we lower our debt.
 It's the smart move.

 Nonauguration Day

 If you're in Washington Saturday, TAKE PICTURES!

 Especially if you're in costume or plan to be arrested.
 Bonus points for holding a  bartcop.com  sign,
 maybe one that says, "Buck Fush"

 How does it feel?

  ...knowing your new president is so stupid, he thinks,
 "the executive branch interprets the law?"

 Mail Bag

From: jrogers@wichitausa.com

These are momentous times.
On January 20th for the first time in history, the gentleman administering the oath to
President Select George W. Bush will be the same person who appointed him to the office:
Chief Justice William H. Rehnquist.

J. J. Rogers

 How does it feel?

  ...knowing thirty days before he was "elected,"
  your new president didn't know Social Security was a federal program?

 Great Republican Quotes

 "I harbor no illusions that George 'The Reaper' Bush would grant me a commutation of sentence."
     -- Tim 'Government is the Problem' McVeigh, to the Buffalo News

 Isn't it ugly when Republicans turn on each other?

 Mail Bag

From:  ajcortez@mindspring.com

 Did you ever notice the same people who tell us to "get over it" in regards to the election
 are the ones still hung up on the Civil War?


 How does it feel?

 ...knowing your installed president has three convictions,
  and his Vice President has two?

 This is the banner Salon.com  rejected


 Is it really too extreme?

 But I would like to thank Donya and the people at salon.com
 They're a good group, even if they print that swill from David Horowitz.

 Shout-out to Ann Coulter

She found out how to get free french fries for life.

 How does it feel?

 ...knowing your new president holds the western hemisphere record
 for most state-santioned killings in modern history?

 This Just In...

 From CNN News...

 Robert Novak, long-time veteran of Washington's political scene, shocked old friends
 and colleagues when he said he would abandon his decades-long sacred crusade for tax cuts
 and switch his energy to a more important matter - spearheading the grassroots Republican
 movement to de-fund the Secret Service protection provided for Hillary Rodham Clinton.

 "I'm old," Novak told Wolf Blitzer, "and time is running out."
 "This woman will be protected from harm, until she dies a natural death,
    unless  we take action now.  It is outrageous that this protection will continue."

 A great column from onlinejournal.com

 It's a cakewalk for Ashcroft and other Bush picks,
 as Senate Democrats roll over again
   --  By Larry Chin

 Click  Here

 The polite and effete Democrats who did manage to peep out questions squeaked out
 the wrong ones, and worse, tossed patently ridiculous softballs at Ashcroft such as:
 "Will you defend Roe v. Wade, Senator Ashcroft?"
 "I will enforce the law," he said.

 "Thank you, what a great, great man you are. By gosh, I believe ya."
  And it's over.

 How does it feel?

  ...knowing your new president can't give a "no" answer to the question,
 "Have you ever committed a cocaine felony?"

Round 2: Ashcroft wins over a Democrat
Georgia's Zell Miller says he'll confirm Ashcroft
By Alicia Montgomery


Jan. 18, 2001 | WASHINGTON -- On Day 2 of his confirmation hearing, Attorney General-designate
John Ashcroft spent eight hours on the hot seat of the Senate Judiciary Committee. Even as they grilled
Ashcroft about his stands on abortion, gay rights and the environment, some of the most dogged
Democrats seemed to be ready to concede that the fight against his nomination was a lost cause.

They had good reason for throwing in the towel. Georgia Democrat Zell Miller became the first in his party
to pledge to support Ashcroft when his nomination reaches the floor of the Senate. Miller specifically addressed
charges that Ashcroft is a racist. "I would not vote to confirm someone who I thought was a bigot or would
hamper the cause of African-Americans,"

Miller declared. "I believe him when he says he will ... enforce the laws of this land, even those he disagrees with."

 Say, a year from now...

 there's a flare-up in Bosnia or some other hot-spot, and we tragically lose some troops.

 Would that be Clinton's fault for getting America entangled in that awful quagmire?
 Or would it be President Smirk's fault for not protecting them better on his watch?

 The reason I'm asking is ...I remember Somalia.

 Trust me, I don't want this to happen, but Bush will lose some troops.
 And when he does, people like me will remind others that Commander-in-Chief Clinton
 never sent a man into battle that didn't come home safely to his family.

 Go ahead, read that sentence again, and don't be afraid to repeat it.

 Clinton never sent a man into battle that didn't come home safely to his family.

 ...I just wanted to mention it before Bush's first military disaster

 How does it feel?

 ... knowing your president is so stupid, he's stumped for an answer to "Good morning?"

 A recent BartCop rant on John Ashcroft

 Click Here


 In the last Issue, Volume 393 - The Feder Enema, there was an attempt at humor that
 suggested the possibility that, if one tortured certain words and made certain wrong-headed
 assumptions that one could be led to believe that I had sex with Deborah Shelton that night.

 This is not true.
 While it's true I met Ms. Shelton at a K-Drag convention that was so slow there was no way she
 could escape talking to me alone for ten minutes, there was no sex of any kind between us and
 my attempt at humor should not be construed as a signal that sexual activity of any kind occurred.

 bartcop.com  regrets the misunderstanding.

 How Does it Feel?

 ...knowing the Republicans have successfully stacked the Supreme Court so that it is now
 the Republican Guard?  How do you feel that by the nomination of Ashcroft, the Republicans
 have announced on no uncertain terms that they've only just begun?

 ...and that the Democrats in congress have, and are prepared to let them do it?

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 Read the  Previous Issue
 It had everything - outrage, sarcasm. innuendo, satire but no enemas.

 Copyright © 2001,  bartcop.com
   Thanks for the fumble, Dude.

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