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Volume 602 - A Good and Noble War

 September 24, 2001                                                                               A medal for the firemen

 VCR Bonus - West Wing has redone their schedule. This week, they're replaying the best show from the first season,
  the one with the Vietnam Vet and Toby's big gamble. Then next week, instead of the premier, they're doing a special
  out of sequence show about recent events, then the two-part premier in two weeks.

 Our President

 Don't you laugh when Rumsfeld, Cheney, Powell or Rove says,
 "I thought the president was exactly right when he said..."

 Weak & Stupid recites whatever words that Rumsfeld, Cheney, Powell or Rove give him,
 and then they come out and praise Bush's "wisdom" in interviews afterwards?

 Who's falling for this horseshit charade?
 Besides America, I mean...

From: WCR1999@aol.com

Subject: Bill Maher explained himself

I saw the show in question (and his remarks struck me exactly the way he intended, I didn't take
umbrage to them), and also saw the show last night.  He opened last night's show with an explanation.
He said right after the first show he did about 30 media interviews, and nobody thought to bring it up,
but after someone brought it up in a newspaper, then it stirred everything up.

He said he was referring to our POLITICIANS, not our troops, for whom he has the utmost respect
and supports 100%, and are definitely NOT cowardly but extremely brave.  He was implying that we
need to go in and do things the right way to get them done, but our politicians are shaped by ugly
popular opinion and don't have the guts to do it.  I understood his point, and figured most others did too.


Steve, I disagree.
He said what he said, and he can't spin it differently, now.
He should've said, "I misspoke," not "you heard funny."

He's got the same problem Rush had with Kosovo.
"If it's a good and noble war, we should be willing to die for it."
I don't understand the thinking.

Rush and Maher are saying "Defense is bad."
Is it "cowardly" to shoot from behind a tree or a rock?

If our tanks can shoot 5 miles, and their tanks only shoot three miles,
is it "cowardly" to fight them from four miles away?

That's all those pilots are doing, staying out of the fire.

Robert Dorn has a good job

He's in charge of frisking the girls at the Miss America pageant.

From: geekypsycho@yahoo.com

Subject: Michael Jackson bullshit

I know you didn't write that Betty Bowers piece on Michael Jackson, but I also know from
your other comments that it has your full endorsement.  They say you like emails with numbers...

That's very true.

1.  Michael Jackson never uttered a Clinton-bashing statement, or a gay-bashing statement,
or--hell,  I doubt if he's ever voted for a Republican.  He does not deserve anyone's hate or ridicule.
He is as opposite from Falwell as anyone can be.

That's true, except for the ridicule, but we'll get into that in a minute.

2.  The tribute song is no more a publicity stunt than that telethon, or Clinton's New York visit.
I never even heard anything about it on the news, I only know from a Michael Jackson fan page.
This is what he gets for trying to help?

Totally disagree.
Michael has different problems than you and me.
At Michael's core is the need to have the most trophies, to sell the most records,
to have the title "King of Pop," and to be in the spotlight at all times.
He has severe psychological problems that we can't even imagine.

How screwed up would you or I have to be to travel with a monkey?
How screwed up would you or I have to be to change the color of our skin?
How screwed up would you or I have to be to buy a tiny white nose?
How screwed up would you or I have to be to have best friends of seven years old?
How screwed up would you or I have to be to kick Lisa Marie Presley out of bed?

I wouldn't trade places with poor Michael Jackson - would you?
Sure, you can say it's not his fault, and if your argument is that it's not polite to make fun of people
whose problems are beyond his control, then you have half a point, but my answer would be
that Michael could change if he had the courage and determination to do it.

3.  The song isn't hastily scribbled out either.  It was something he labored over in 1999
but never released, and it simply fits this situation.

I'll give you that one.
There's no sense in you being shut out in this debate.

4.  Michael Jackson is promoting his album the same way as everyone else, releasing singles that scurry up
the charts.  And he was in the news before the attack  Say what you will about that Sept 7 concert,
the people got their money's worth.

Koresh, you must be a big fan of his.
Hey, I'll admit, I've paid $2500 to see a concert, but I didn't sit thru a five-hour whorefest
with every animal act and clown freak show in America. Did you catch the part about
Marlon Brando giving his "machete" speech?

Shit, me & Britney Spears & N Sync could pack The Garden for weeks.
Why didn't Michael have a normal concert with normal prices?
Why doesn't Michael go on tour, like a normal performer?
Why doesn't Michael go on Jay Leno and Letterman like a normal singer?
The sad truth is, he's not normal, the poor bastard, and that's how he likes it.

I could make Michael Jackson normal in 30 days. (maybe 60)
Here's what you do:  You have him go on Jay Leno each Friday.
Each Friday, he sings a song and does 15 minutes on the couch.

No chimps.
No single glove.
No oxygen tents.
No Mccauley Culkin
No Elephant Man bones.
None of that horseshit that makes him so incredibly weird.
Just a singer/dancer with an impressive collection of hits.

Michael could be normal if he wanted to. (...except for the young boys)
But Michael doesn't want to be normal.
I realize steam is coming out your ears right now, but if you only remember
one sentence, remember this: Michael doesn't want to be normal.
He wants to be different more than he wants to breathe air.
That's what he wants.
That's why he's like he is.

Don't tell me I should be going after Betty Bowers and not you.
You're just finally getting called out for all the crap you've dumped on him over the years.
He may be weird and arrogant, but he's not a whore, so don't treat him like one.

Betty Bowers is a big girl and can take care of herself.
Jocko hasn't been my primary focus, but sure, I've expressed my opinion when
he does something particularly stupid or weird. Politically, I don't think he's a whore,
but he's sold way more than his soul to somebody for something, don't you think?

Oh, and that "religion is the problem" thing doesn't wash either.  Falwell and terrorists are the problem.
Statements like yours lump Mother Theresa and Billy Graham in with them.

Geekypsycho, you are technically correct.
People who misuse religion and bastardize it for personal gain are the problem.
"Religion is the problem," is shorthand for that.

Look, I don't hate Michael Jackson - I feel sorry for him.
I wish he had the mindset that would allow him to walk in a room without having
the king's trumpters fanfare and twin albino monkeys dropping rose petals
while a paid-for choir sings, "He really is the King of Pop."

 I just checked - www.beatupthehost.com  is available.

 Maybe I should move things over there.

Jacko Told, 'Thanks, but No Thanks'

Michael Jackson's thin, white nose is out of joint after his offer
to perform at Friday's "Tribute to Heroes" telethon was turned down.

Producers of the show, "felt he didn't fit the spirit of the show," says a source.
"The fear was that his performance would have been about him, not the victims."

The source said producers worried Jackson might turn the benefit into another self-coronation
like the poor confused bastard threw for himself at Madison Square Garden earlier this month.

From: prisca@physics.umn.edu

Subject: AAAH - I needed that!

Wow - I just found your website.
I am so sick of the media rolling over and playing dead to Dubya.
I'm supposed to be putting the kids to bed, but I wanted to see the online news first.
And then I started shouting at my terminal.

Bad news when that begins.  Now after visiting your website, I feel like
I just went to an encounter group and feel so much better.

Well, only sort of.  Because I still would like to DO something about it.
What do you DO about this junk anyway?  Why can't we get more passionate
and right-thinking people to speak up about the loss of our freedoms - given
over en masse (except for one notable exception) to the Dubya?
Does your website have a plan of action or are you just sniping?


Prisca from Minneapolis

Actually, this is supposed to be a comedy page, but things aren't funny right now.

 Emotions Are High Enough Already
    by Jimmy Breslin

 Click  Here

 And I was back on a cool October day in 1988 in Christ the King High School and George Bush the Elder
 was on the stage holding up officer Edward Byrne's badge.  Byrne had been killed in Jamaica. Byrne's father
 had given Bush the son's badge.  Bush was running for president against Michael Dukakis.

 "Dukakis wouldn't understand the grief of a dead cop's mother," Bush said.
 "This helps define the man I'm running against. He doesn't understand police. I do."

 He used the badge to inflame an auditorium that was crowded with high school girls,
 who got up on their seats and shrieked, "Death Penalty! Death Penalty! Capital Punishment."

 It was the most embarrassing afternoon that the Catholics have had around here.

 Yeah, considering Catholics don't believe in the death penalty.

 The TV season has started, so be sure to check out

 Marty and The Vidiot have put a ton of work into it, and it shows.

 A virtual look at the damage in New York

 Click  Here

Warning - Extreme Conspiracy Theory To Follow
 Not for the weak of heart

 Click  Here

From: prazeghi@earthlink.net

Subject: tribute to heroes

Bart, Your review of the tribute was on the money.
I too was moved and inspired, as everyone set exactly the right tone.
I'm wondering how many people know that Sting's "Fragile" was written as a tribute to Ben Linder,
a humanitarian aid worker who was murdered by Reagan's "freedom fighters" in Nicaragua.

No one from the Reagan administration reached out to comfort Ben's parents.
Rep. Connie Mack added to their pain by making a snide comment about Ben
being somewhere he shouldn't have been.  It was so sad.


From:  joe1991@worldnet.att.net

Subject: Re: Proof before war


To paraphrase the old SNL line "BartCop, you ignorant slut!"

You've were calling us "DOVES" when we said "hey...wait a second".
Now YOU say "We want to see the proof  BEFORE  the first shot is fired."

Must be the Koresh-damn air in K-drag, it only took you a week and a
half  to see what we "doves" were saying before the buildings even fell.

Stick to the humor, or get a couple of "philosophical advisors"
on staff  before you start spouting off  "glass the bastards!!" again.

Joe C

I don't like your tone, and your facts are in error, Cubby.
This is what I said the first day and it still stands.

> I'm a hawk on the military.
> Words mean things, but IF we have the proof they say we have,
> I want ground troops in Afghanistan to grab that mother.
> I say we occupy Afghanistan until they hand him over to us.
> If we lose troops - we lose troops.
> But we don't take this attack lying down.

You see that word in red?
That means something.

I never said, "Let's attack before we know who's involved."

What a suck-ass argument to go back in time and claim you were right back then.
Tell me - what exactly were you saying  "before the buildings even fell?"
Where do I go to look at YOUR record, where YOU displayed all YOUR wisdom
and had all the right answers "before the buildings even fell?"

I think you're a liar and a fraud.

You wait nine days after the attack to explain what you "knew" back then?
Who said your opinion was so correct and noble?  Don't think you can waltz in here
with some bullshit chip on your shoulder and explain how the world turns, Cubby.

By the way, who told you what to think?
Michael Moore or Ralph Nader?

 Who's going to hell this week?

 Click  Here

 A symposium on Bush’s speech to Congress
     by Kathryn Jean Lopez, National Review ho

 Click  Here  to read the crap

 The president has spoken with Churchillian clarity. He has demonstrated to his most
 petty detractors — from the New York Times editorial board to Washington Post
 columnist Mary McGrory, as well as the enemies of the republic — from the Taliban
 terrorists to Middle East despots, that Americans have wisely chosen a strong leader for the times.

 Lady, Smirk isn't Churchillian, he chilling.
 He doesn't have a heart or a brain or the slightest bit of courage.

 Second, we didn't choose Smirk, he was forced on us by a crooked, partisan court.
 The voters chose Al Gore, but Jeb, Katherine and Tony preferred Weak & Stupid.
 Third, if voters knew things were going to get this bad, Gore would've won 49 states.

 Maybe that horseshit you wrote makes you feel better, or makes you some whore money,
 but lying doesn't help anybody in a time of crisis.

 The obscure goat story of 9-11

 Click  Here

From: sstark@etigers.net

Subject: Why, BC, you seem to have modified your views!

You wrote:

> "Mr President,
> We want to see the proof  BEFORE  the first shot is fired.
> We want to see the proof  BEFORE  the next American life is lost.
> We want to see the proof  BEFORE  the first American POW is tortured.

> ...and if you claim the proof is "too secret to share,"
> then we will insist on your resignation  or  we will impeach you. "

BC:  While I whole-heartedly agree with you, this sounds "nearly" dovish!
Keep on keepin' on.


The only difference I can see is I didn't spell out earlier that I don't trust Smirk,
and that I want to see the proof as opposed to him saying, "Trust me."

'Further expounded on' would be more accurate.
When did I say I wanted innocents bombed?
When did I say "if" wasn't a factor?

Making sure of your target isn't being dovish - it's being smart.

Should TV Shows Face New York's Reality?

Click  Here

 Read the  Previous Issue

 It had everything.

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