POLITICS - HUMOR - FINE TEQUILA - TRAVEL - ENTERTAINMENT
 
Chat & Post

BartCop Reader

Contact Us

MediaWhoresOnline

Online Journal

Bart Cook

Store

Gene Lyons
New Every Thursday
 

..
Make payments with PayPal - it's fast, free and secure!
PayPal to bartcop@bartcop.com
.Support Bartcop.com
POBox 54466.... Tulsa,OK 74155 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

New to BartCop?

Back Issues

Links

Project 60

Demo Underground

JFK Conspiracy?

Entertainment

Julie Hiatt
Steele


Volume 642 - Just Like a Penguin in Bondage


 November 16, 2001                                                                                               Required Reading

 "What's your favorite independent media outlet?"  If you E-mail The Nation letters@thenation.com,
 with the subject line "Favorite Media Outlet,"and vote for  bartcop.com  you get a weekend in a suite at
 The Venetian in Vegas if we win. Include your street address and phone number or it won't count.  FreeChinaco!
 It's so real, I swear - on the lives of my kids!!    Free Chinaco at The Venetian for all who vote for  bartcop.com
 Only a few days left Must include your address & phone for it to count  (Remember - a suite at the Venetian!)

 VCR Alert -  Dark Angel (see below) Thieves, a repeat of the great 24 (if you're not watching this show, you must
  not like TV because it's almost as good as West Wing) plus Barbara the Whore has Clooney, Julie Roberts et al
  so they can kick around the sure-to-be-hueueuege Ocean's Eleven movie. Plus an Eagles concert on VH-1

 Quotes

 "Take it from me, when you buy a Bose wave radio,
    you'll be hearing sweet, clear highs and a deep, rich bass."
     --The vulgar Pigboy, who is deaf
 

 "If you want the worst, buy from Bose.
   You get no highs, and you get no lows."
    -- BartCop, 27-year owner of fine RTR speakers


  GOP Anger at President Gore's War Actions
   by Bernard Weiner

  Click  Here

   Excerpt:
"We are looking like a superpower bully, hitting villages and aid agencies and innocent civilians,"
  said House Majority Leader Dick Armey, "bombing days after our generals have asserted that
  we have total air superiority. Don't the Democrats see how fragile our coalition is? We risk having
  all the Muslim countries abandoning us if we don't stop."



From: louh@mid.org

Subject: WSJ Reading Bartcop?

bc,

I'm still stunned after reading on page 1 in Thursday's Wall Street Journal this statement
about what kind of economic stimulus package would actually stimulate the economy:

"People who spend every dollar that they take in will probably
  spend every extra dollar the government offers."

The column went on to trash every one of the Republican's pet tax theories.
I can't believe they printed that.  Is there hope?

Lou
 

Lou, I not sure about hope, but there is shock.
The stock market tripled under Clinton, but those idiots supported Weak & Stupid
who is now crashing their fortunes into the ground - but they love him, anyway.

Just like the military that prefers bodybags under Reagan/Bush to peace under Clinton,
Wall Street would rather go bankrupt with Smirk the Wonder Dog than make a profit with Gore.

So no, ...there's no hope.


From: Bushwatch

"If this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I'm the dictator."
     -- G. W. Bush, 12/18/00

 Bush "has just assumed what amounts to dictatorial power..."
     -- William Safire, 11/15/01



U.S. Policy Towards Taliban Influenced by Oil - Say Authors

 Full Story  now with working link

PARIS, Nov 15 (IPS) - Under the influence of U.S. oil companies, the government of
George W. Bush initially blocked U.S. secret service investigations on terrorism, while it
bargained with the Taliban the delivery of Osama bin Laden in exchange for political
recognition and economic aid, two French intelligence analysts claim.

In the book  ''Bin Laden, the forbidden truth'',  the authors reveal that the FBI's deputy
director John O'Neill resigned in July in protest over the obstruction.

The authors claim O'Neill told them that ''the main obstacles to investigate Islamic terrorism
were U.S. oil corporate interests and the role played by Saudi Arabia in it''. They claim the U.S.
government's main objective in Afghanistan was to consolidate the position of the Taliban
regime to obtain access to the oil and gas reserves in Central Asia.

Until now, says the book, ''the oil and gas reserves of Central Asia have
been controlled by Russia. The Bush government wanted to change all that''.
 

Hell, this is no surprise.
Bush can't take a whiz without asking how it affects the price of oil.
The Bush Family Evil Empire always puts their interests first, then America's.



 Good News, Bad News

 The good news is with Vic out with a heart attack, I sold a car!
 (I know as much about cars as I do guitars.)

 When the fella got all signed up, I handed him his keys and walked him outside.
 He got behind the wheel, started the engine and lit a cigarette.

 I told him, "No, no, that's a non-smoking car!"
 He looked at me with much puzzlement and said, "I can't smoke in this car?"
 And I smiled and said, "Just kidding. That's your car, you can do anything you want in your car."
 

 The bad news is, I called that nutty Vic and he said his shoulder and left arm were hurting.
 I told him I know as much about medicine as I do cars and guitars, but it sure sounded to me
 like his heart attack was getting worse and Vic said, "I'll eat some more aspirin."
 as tho that would be as good as going to the Emergency Room.

 Why are men such pig-headed idiots?

 Wasn't it just yesterday I asked why dictators ignore it when a US president
 (even an illegally-installed one) when they say our military is coming after them?
 It makes less sense to ignore a heart episode than to ignore a president,
 but men can sometimes be pig-headed idiots.

 Let's hope tomoro doesn't bring bad news about Vic.


 Quotes

 "We're looking like a third world country with military tribunals and holding people without charges.
   It doesn't sound like America, and a year or two from now, we'll be saying, 'Why did we let this happen?' "
        --James Zogby, president of the Arab American Institute.

  Hey, James, some of us are asking that question right now,
  but our hammers are so small that nobody notices.


Writing History to Executive Order
  by Richard Reeves

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 With a stroke of the pen on Nov. 1, President Bush stabbed history in the back and
 blocked Americans' right to know how presidents (and vice presidents) have made decisions.
 Executive Order 13223 ended more than 30 years of increasing openness in government.
 

 Reeves is going to lose his job when Mr Rove finds out that he wrote a story
 that was off script and actually criticized the unelected President Bunnypants.
 


 Vic didn't come to work today.

 He said he has shortness of breath and chest pains. (He's 58 and smokes like Kandahar.)
 I asked him if he was going to the ER or just a regular doctor and he said,
 "Fuck those doctors. All they want is my money."

 Why are men so stupid?
 You'd never hear a woman say, "fuck a doctor" during a heart attack,
 but men do stupid shit like that all the time.

 Not me.
 Drive my wheezing ass to the ER with sirens blaring.   Stat!
 Run the red lights - do whatever is necessary because I'm agnostic.

 Let's hope that I don't lose TWO friends to heart attacks this year.
 Koresh, it's a four-man office.



 Bush using psychics in Afghanistan

  Click  Here


 Lots of good stuff over at today.


 Quotes

 "I was on Air Force One the day of the attack, working my way back to Washington
   via Louisiana and Nebraska making sure that the president was safe and secure."
     --Bush speaking at a high school in Crawford, Texas. (11/15/01)
 

  Was he joking around or is he too goddamn stupid to know hid Daddy and his hand-picked
   gang of thugs installed him as president against the wishes of the voters?



 Two bored casino dealers were waiting at a craps table.
 A very attractive blonde woman arrived and bet twenty-thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice.
 She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude."
 With that she stripped off all her clothes,  rolled the dice and yelled, "Mama needs new clothes!"

 Then she hollered..."YES! YES! I WON! I WON!"
 She jumped up and down and hugged each of the dealers.
 With that she picked up all the money and clothes and quickly departed.

 The dealers just stared at each other dumbfounded.
 Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"
 The other answered, "I thought YOU were watching!"

 Moral: Not all blondes are dumb, but most men ARE gullible.
 

 Note: That joke was sent in by a woman who bought Gennifer Flowers's home.


 Leahy challenges Bush on military tribunals

  Click  Here

 I didn't even read this story because it can't possibly be true.
 Leahy is the Number One Wimp in the Senate.
 When Karl Rove barks, Leahy soils himself in fear.

 If Bush was bulldozing Leahy's mother's home,
 he would stand there and beg Karl Rove's forgiveness.

 Can't we somehow lose Leahy?
 Doesn't he need to go to Hollywood and be in another Batman movie?

 Is any Democratic senator as worthless as Leahy?



 That C.S.I. last night was hot & steamy, wasn't it?

 Have you ever seen anything like that on commercial TV?
 Reminder: this show was Number 3 on all of TV last week

 They were investigating a bondage death, so they went to a bondage dungeon
 and CBS showed weirdness that I'd only heard about before. (no cough)

 The Marg Hellenberger character was once a Vegas stripper, so when Miss Discipline
 started teasing her about not knowing what it's like to overpower a man, Marg just smiled.
 It was funny to watch, because the CSI team is always the cool and collected bunch,
 but this time things were steamy & weird and Miss Discipline was working them like clients.

 I realize I'm doing a terrible job of describing the episode.
 I think it's one of those had-to-be-there deals.
 Anyway, they got their man.
 

 ...and last night's Friends continued to bring home the goods.
 The whole show has new life and a new spark.
 

 I liked Dark Angel the first year. Jessica Alba is a hottie, and they always had her playing the vic,
 only to beat the crap out of the big goons when they tried to help her. But this year they went from
 an X-Files, trust no one, fight the power kind of show to a really strange Invasion of the Dog People deal.

 Max (Alba) has a twinge of cat DNA in her blood, which makes her stronger, she can hear and see better,
 she can jump twenty feet up if she needs to - that kind of thing. Sure, it's a weird deal, but like that craps
 joke (above) you can get away with almost anything if the girl is cute.

 But now they have these dog people and I just can't hack it. I like dogs in real life, but these dog people
 look like dogs and I just can't go there. Before the season is over, they're likely to have Max fall in love
 with a dog man and nobody wants to go there, right? Mrs. BartCop still watches, but I surf or chat, instead.

  Sidebar:
 In real life, Alba is engaged to her co-star, the former wheelchair guy. In an effort to keep the sexual tension
 between them tight, the writers inflicted Max with a virus (or something, I don't know) that makes her like
 kryptonite to her co-star and real-life boyfriend. This way, they can have a conversation but if she ever touches
 him they halt shooting and start over to keep them from making goo-goo eyes at each other on the show.

 So you Dark Angel writers (I know you're reading this) - can you find a way to get the dogs off the screen?
 They're like all those elbow-on-the-nose aliens that plagued Voyager and Next Generation.
 You can have all the aliens you want, but if they're Rush-butt-ugly, it makes the screen hard to look at.

 Instead of Max helping the dog people each week, get rid of them (humanely) and make wheelchair boy
 a cop or a private detective so he & Max can fight crimes or something.



 Okay, Now Iím Scared

 Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 I refer to the more ominous events reported by cyber-journalist Matt Drudge the night before.
 The headline read, "Big Media Florida Recount: Gore Topped Bush If All Under/Over Votes Counted."
 The myth of the stolen election had returned.
 

 Wait a minute...
 Drudge got the story right?
 The entire whore mainstream media screamed "Bush won for sure"
 while Drudge got it right and honestly called the story like it read?

 What's this country coming to when gossip-monger eggboy Matt Drudge is more trust-worthy
  than the NY Whore Times, the Washington Whore Post, USA Whore Today and CCN etc etc etc?


 Quotes

 "Charles Manson just turned 67 years old. He's getting very old now.
   He now has to wear a hearing aid just so he can hear the voices inside his head."
     -- Leno

 "The Taliban is on the run and don't know where to go. Pakistan doesn't want them.
    Iran doesn't want them. Of course, they'll have no problem getting into this country."
     -- Dave

"John Ashcroft issued a terrorism warning, asking all Americans to be on the high alert this week.
 Then on Friday, he announced that the period of high alert would be extended indefinitely.
 I think I speak for all Americans when I say, 'Bitch, I can't be any more alert than I already am. Okay?'
 I'm opening my mail with salad tongs. I take my passport in the shower with me.
 I'm watching so much CNN, I'm having sex dreams about Wolf Blitzer."
  -- Tina Fey on Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update"



 Click  Here


 U2 in LA

 Full Story

  Excerpt:
 Intensity level was raised considerably during the encores, beginning with the chilling anti-war song
"Bullet the Blue Sky,'' and then moving to Bono and Gwen Stefani, from opening act No Doubt,
 dueting on Marvin Gaye's ``What's Going On.'' (Both are featured on the current charity single.)

 Finally, the band began to play ``One,'' a plea for universal love taken from 1991's ``Achtung Baby,''
 and the names of the crew members and passengers from the flights that crashed on Sept. 11,
 as well as lost NYPD and FDNY personnel, were scrolled in large letters on screens behind
 the band, leaving many attendees visibly shaken.


 Don't let the bastards win.
 Support  bartcop.com
 The way things are going, it may be all we have left.

Make payments with PayPal - it's fast, free and secure!
   PayPal to bartcop@bartcop.com
 .Support Bartcop.com
 POBox 54466.... Tulsa,OK 74155



 Read the  Previous Issue

 It had everything.

 Copyright © 2001,  bartcop.com
   Thanks for the fumble, Dude.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 



Privacy Policy
. .