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Before we name more schools & airports after Ronald Reagan, 
can we get a look at what Bush is hiding in Reagan's files?

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Volume 679 - The Tulsa Quean

Now is a good time to order
the best chocolate in the world.
Tell 'em Bart sent ya,

 January 4, 2002                                                                                   Online Shopping with Amazon.com (see below)


"If you listen to the Democrats, it seems that it's your moral obligation to buy and
  smoke cigarettes because tobacco tax money goes towards children's health care."
      -- The vulgar Pigboy, today, second hour.

 But Pigboy, what kind of Republican horseshit logic are you selling your ditto-monkeys this time?
 Is that creation logic?

 Using that line of thinking, since DWI fines go towards highway safety,
 is it our moral obligation to get in our cars and drive drunk, Pigboy?

 Rush, seriously - when was the last time you made any goddamn sense at all?

 I'm invited to a wedding!

 Morgan Frances Pillsbury and John H. Fund announced their engagement
 to friends and family January 1, 2001.   Mr. Fund has been associated with
 the editorial staff of the Wall St. Journal for many years and is now on leave
 to write a book.  The couple will be married in Santa Barbara from the home
 of Morgan's mother, Melinda Pillsbury-Foster on March 3rd.

 This is confusing.  John Fund has been telling his drinking buddies that he's playing
 hide the hamster with a lady named "Gail Harriet"  from San Diego.

 If he's currently hiding the hampster with Gail from San Diego,
 why is he marrying this Morgan Pillsbury lady?

 Could it be so Morgan cannot testify against him?
 What crimes, if any, has John Fund of the Whore Street Journal committed?
 What does Morgan know that she can testify to?

 Regular readers know how lucky this Fund son of a bitch is.
 He was one of Clinton's biggest critics, calling him "immoral" and all that.
 Fund was dating some lady, and then started cheating on her with her daughter.

 When he was confronted with this blatant immorality, he said,
 "Sometimes what I say isn't the same thing as what I do in my personal life."

 John, I think that's the definition of a hypocrite.

 The lucky part?
 His illicit/incestuous affair came to light September 10, 2001.

 It was in the  bartcop.com  report for September 11th, but something else came up that day and the
"John Fund is an adulterous scumbag bastard and a whore" story got buried.

 And who is this Morgan, John?
 Does Morgan know the truth about you?
 Does she know you're an immoral scumbag bastard and a hipocrite, John?

 I guess I can always tell her at the wedding.
 When the preacher says, "Does anyone know why these two should not be joined together?"
 I'll stand up and say, "Yeah, because John Fund is an adulterous scaumbag bastard and a whore."

 See you March 3, John.

 Consumer Consumption
    by Cliff Downing

 “All the justice you can afford to buy!”

  Click  Here


 "Clinton got his dog Buddy because he thought he
    should have at least one loyal friend in Washington."
    -- Mike McCurry, who later stabbed his old friend and employer in the back.

 Facts Altered in Anti-Terror Effort
  Arab countries wonder - if this photo was doctored by the CIA,
  how can they believe the bin Laden video? Was it doctored, too?

  Click  Here

 The vulgar Pigboy is doing the first hour on Clinton's dog that was killed,
  and how that adds to the Clinton Body Count.

 ...amazing how the ditto-monkeys worship this fraud.

 Pop Quiz

 Who was the last recession-free Republican president?

 Let's take a look:

 The Unelected Fraud got us into our current recession by insisting on a tax cut for the super-rich.
 This came as the economy started to slow as a jittery Wall Street saw the Return of Economic Voodoo*

 His Daddy was fired because he didn't have a clue how to handle his multiple mini-recessions.

 Saint Reagan dragged us into a hueueueueuege recession that almost bankrupted the country.

 Gerald Ford and Tricky Dick the co-conspirator had those goofy "Whip Inflation Now" buttons,
 as tho wearing a damn button on your lapel was a good substitute for sound economic policy.
 They're the buffoons who brought us runaway inflation and double-digit interest rates at the same time,
 even tho the GOP would have you blame all that on Jimmy Carter.

 Eisenhower had two recessions, back in the fifties.

 That makes SIX Republican presidents in a row who bungled the economy into a recession.

 Of course, if we keep going back, we'd find that Republican Herbert Hoover didn't have a recession - no.
 He had a full-blown depression and it took a Democrat to pull us out of it.

 Remember how FRD did it?

With government spending!

 So what is the Unelected Fraud doing to get us out of the Bush Recession?
 Keeping in mind that the government is American industry's best customer,
 he wants to reduce government spending, guaranteeing a further spiral into the ground.

 Clinton showed us how to stoke the fires of America's great economic engines,
 but Clinton's way didn't line the pockets of the super-rich, ...so Bush won't go there.
 Bush will never take any action that doesn't enrich the Bush Family Evil Empire.

 Oh, God, what did we do to anger you so?
 Why, God, did you send Weak & Stupid to destroy the Clinton Miracle?

Win a pound of the best milk chocolate in the world

 Here's how:

 Somewhere in the back issues there's a rant about our idiot president.
 The rant goes something like this:

 "I predict if Bush wins, the economy will go straight to hell."

 It's probably in the summer of 2000, and that's a big haystack, but if you find it,
 I'll send you a pound of the South's Finest Chocolate that you'll remember forever.
 One taste of this chocolate and you'll be a regular customer.

 Matter of fact, I'll also send you the new Garbage CD - beautifulgarbage  as a bonus!
 If you're not into the current best band in the world, you can choose from the new Dylan,
 the latest Janet Jackson or the latest Aerosmith.

 There are two catches:
 First catch:
 The winner must post the answer on the BartCop Forum
  (Or, you can get there by clicking the "Chat & Post" icon at the top of this page)
 That way there's no dispute as to who found it first.

 Second catch: It has to be the right rant.
 There are doubtless similar rants posted over the last two years,
 so I will have to be the judge of whether or not it's the right rant.

 Why bother with this?

 The South's Finest Chocolate is better than cocaine,
 and the CD is the best CD I've heard since there have been CDs.

From: The Last Honest Reporter

Subject:   From Jack Welch's Book

Jack Welch is the CEO of GE which owns NBC.
He's the guy that pressured the NBC newsroom to declare Bush the Winner, then lied about it.
If you wanted to become Executive Producer of NBC news would you do any negative stories about Bush?
He's also Tim Russert's boss. Tim got an 11-year contract by promising to lie for the GOP.

From Page 382

"The organization takes its cue from the person on the top.
  I always told our business leaders their personal intensity determined their organizations intensity.
  How hard they worked and how many people they touched would be emulated thousands of times over. ...
  I wanted them to feel my presence every day."

Is this why we had a massive intelligence failure while Bush was on another month long vacation?
Is the government as lazy as its leader?
Maybe if Bush spent more time on the job and less time playing with his Game Boy and
talking to the goddamn cows in Crawford we wouldn't have had the New York catastrophe.

And what kind of hypocrite is Jack Welch?

Clinton was the hardest working president we've ever had (just look at the results he got)
but Jack Welch pressured his paid-for whores in the NBC news department to call the election
for the stupidest and laziest candidate anybody can remember.

How could he support Bush when his statements clearly describing Bill Clinton's work ethic?

 Cover-up and Censorship at Free Republic
  by Barbara Hartwell

 Click  Here


"The only wholly owned subsidiary of Enron not to go bankrupt is the Republican Party,"
   -- Robert Gibbs, Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee.

 Rudy the Quitter

 If Hillary wasn't such a great campaigner,
 if Hillary wasn't so beloved by the people of New York,
 if Rudy hadn't been such a Nazi shit for 7 3/4 years,
 if Rudy wasn't so hateful towards New York minorities,
 he might've won that senate race against Hillary and somebody else
 would've been mayor when those planes took down the towers.

 Rudy claimed he had to quit because he was so sick,
 but when his popularity spiked after 9-11, he suddenly felt healthy enough
 to have his staff look into changing the laws so he could run again for mayor.

 Rudy the Quitter lied when he said he wasn't healthy enough to run for the senate.
 He lied because Hillary was stomping him like a kitty at an Ozzy concert.

 Don't get me wrong - Rudy was great when New York needed him most,
 and thank Koresh for that because Weak and Stupid was running scared all day,
 but Rudy was still mayor because he couldn't stand the stomping Hillary was giving him.

From: (withheld)

Subject: cave doors

Last week, I believe, I was in the car with my daughters and we heard a clip from Bush.
"We don't know if he (bin laden) is in a cave with the door open or the door closed."
I swear he said it!
My 8 year old laughed so hard and said, "Caves don't have doors."

Isn't our president the biggest dummy in the world?
I bet Harvard and Yale are EMBARRASSED.  I sure would be.
And how about Barbara Bush's literacy campaign.
She really should have started it at home.
 --or maybe she did and this was the result.

It all would be funny, except it's so sad.
My husband and I love your site.


"Those who adhere to biblical Christianity are remarkably similar to those who adhere to the Taliban
 - the brutal fundamentalist Islamic militia that enacted the age of terrorism in America. That's the message
  being heralded by Democrats in the aftermath of the September 11 suicide attacks that rocked our nation."
   -- The "reverend" Jerry Falwell

 Hey, don't forget  bartcop.com
 I was the first to say it, because it's true.

 The religio-crazies want to subjugate their women,
 they want to force others to worship their particular God,
 they scare you into donating money or eternal damnation is the punishment
 and both promise a paradise after you're dead.

 Can any of you right-wingers reading this show me
 a difference between the Taliban and the Falwells/Robertsons?


From: yandros@qwest.net

Subject: Here's an answer

Exhibit B...

Name one thing about Clinton that isn't true.

Gee, Yandros, I just can't think of anything that you guys said about Clinton that wasn't true.

Clinton is news because he was the president of the United States.
He's also news because he is/was so morally bankrupt.

Compared to who?
Ollie North?
The Bush Family Evil Empire?

A morally bankrupt president of the United States is news.
If Clinton was still a stupid Congressman he wouldn't even garner
the press that Condit got, because his intern didn't disappear.

True - there's a difference between sex and murder.
You're pretty sharp for a Republican.

Because of those facts, we see massive coverage of Clinton and his exploits.

Gee, you don't think selling books and TV ads has anything to do with it?
You don't think the Christian-right's insatiable appetite for any wild story about
Clinton's cock has anything to do with the number of books being written?

It's not like there isn't positive press about Slick Willie...every time he dedicates a section
of his library or shows up at a junket, he is always reported upon whether he's relevant or not.

The American people love him.
He's mobbed wherever he goes.
He was our last elected president.

I don't see what you're so upset about.

Thanks for reading  bartcop.com

Oil company adviser named US representative to Afghanistan
 The Bush Pipeline is closer to reality

 Click  Here

 President Bush has appointed a former aide to the American oil company Unocal, Afghan-born Zalmay Khalilzad,
 as special envoy to Afghanistan. The nomination was announced December 31, nine days after the US-backed
 interim government of Hamid Karzai took office in Kabul.

 The nomination underscores the real economic and financial interests at stake in the US military intervention in
 Central Asia. Khalilzad is intimately involved in the long-running US efforts to obtain direct access to the oil and
 gas resources of the region, largely unexploited but believed to be the second largest in the world after the Persian Gulf.

 Remember the theory:
 bin Laden launched a last-minute desperate strike to hurt America because he knew
 the Bush family Evil Empire was coming for Afghanistan's oil and nothing could stop them

 Perhaps if the Bush Family Evil Empire wasn't do damn greedy
 we wouldn't have had the New York nightmare.

by John L Johnson

Look closely!
Things are not always what they seem
What do YOU see?

   The crooked symbol of a corporate energy titan... or something ELSE?
ARTHUR ANDERSEN: How many prongs does this fork have?

EXTRA CREDIT: In which prong might you find the lost retirement hopes of former Enron employees?

There's so much stuff on BartCop Entertainment page I can't keep up.

Lord of the Rings, Michael Dare, talk about Thieves, a good show ABC axed so
they could order another 14 episodes of Kim Delaney crying herself to sleep,
an interview with the "Boondocks," man, Charlie Manson, Pamela Anderson,
talk about the AMA with Britney, Mick, Kid Rock and P Diddy
- it's all there - it's all on BartCop E!

Better click and see.

 Happy Birthday to...

  Julia Ormond is 36               Dyan Cannon is 64

 Also, Michael Stipe is 41 and Spock's first wife is 87

 There may be more, but the birthday page is down...

Bush Appointees = Enron stock holders
Keep this list - it's killer!

 Click  Here

Wondering how many Bush appointees owned stock in Enron?
Or how much they owned?
Or what business relationships they had with the company?
Well, hey, all you gotta do it click on the link Bush doesn't want you to see.

Aiding the terrorists again, BartCop?
You're either with us or you're against us.
Maybe it's time we made an example out of you.

 Great mailbag - plus new toons!

 Click  Here

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