PayPal to email@example.com
PO Box 54466....Tulsa, OK 74155
"We need an energy bill that encourages consumption."
-- Monkey Brains, Trenton Sep. 23, 2002
His former school teachers must be soooooo ashamed.
of war, phrases that frighten
Peace? Justice? George Bush doesn't even know the meaning
"The American Republican Right really hate plain words. This is why they say
"liberating Iraq" when they mean seizing its oil and making a lot of money.
This is why they now say "George Bush is a man of peace" when they mean
he'll go to war at the drop of a hat for no good reason and he's "routinely"
bombing Iraqi "installations" every day. And when they say "regime change"
they mean, or could mean, 'Armageddon.'"
Geez, there are dozens more:
"Compassionate conservative," for a guy who holds the Western Hemisphere record for state murders.
"Leave no child behind," from the guy who guts education funding.
"I'm a uniter," from the guy who labeled McCain "a Vietnam traitor."
...but Bush's good puppy press loves him.
U.S. Oil Politics in the 'Kuwait of Africa'
The Bush Administration's national energy policy, released last May, predicted
that West Africa would become "one of the fastest-growing sources of oil and
gas for the American market." The year before, Paul Michael Wihbey of
Washington's Institute for Advanced Strategic and Political Studies described
West Africa as "an area of vital US interest" in testimony before Congress.
We at the B.F.E.E. are proud to announce we have taken over Equatorial Guinea as
part of our "Dominate Earth 2002 Tour," and we would like to thank the Carlyle
Group, the US Defense Department, and the American taxpayer for their contributions
in making this acquisition such a cost-effective one for the Bush Family Evil Empire.
Those who helped will be given an extra two gallons of fresh drinking water.
You see, here at the B.F.E.E., it's not about us, it's about our "associates."
Lynn Cheney (R-Harpy) is on Page One of USA Today's "Life" section,
posing with a couple of "negroes" because it's campaign season again.
Trust me, the ONLY time a Cheney or a Bush (or anyone in
the GOP) has a
moment for a negro is when a campaign is underway and a camera is nearby.
Of course, we could never expect the "liberal media" to point
because they're too busy licking Bush's boots, prepping him for a second term.
I'm gratified that the Blacks of America don't fall for this.
The GOP would tell you
(and Rush has) that Blacks are "too stupid" to know that the GOP is better for them.
Uncle O.J. Watt's dad said it best:
"A Black man voting GOP is like
a chicken voting for Colonel Sanders."
the New Boss, Same as the Old Boss
by Gene Lyons
...it's everybody's patriotic duty to keep a straight face. That's why the serious news
broadcasts and the heavyweight pundits ignored Junior's unintentionally hilarious
performance in Nashville last week. Speaking to one of his preferred audiences of
schoolchildren, Bush told them Saddam can't be trusted.
"There's an old saying in Tennessee," he
"I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee--it says 'fool me once..."
A long pause ensued.
A befuddled, then somewhat panicky expression appeared on Bush's face.
"Shame on...shame on...you."
"Fool me...can't get fooled again," he finally blurted out.
The new CBS hit "C.S.I. - Miami" is using "Won't Get Fooled Again" as their theme song.
The original C.S.I. uses the Tally Brigg's theme, "Who Are You?"
...from our old friend Lo Phat Ham
Corporate News Merger
I see where CBS and ABC are talking about merging their news
(USA Today has a story on it.)
This is a great cost-cutting move. This way, instead of
paying both Judas Maximus
and Bob Schieffer to quick-call the 2004 election for Bush, they only have to pay one.
Hey guys, why bother?
Just wait until Russert calls the 2004 election for Bush and save both salaries.
"I'm a Bush whore!"
"Did Congress demand any limits on presidential
powers in Kosovo?
Was there even a resolution?
Did they ever demand a single limit on Clinton's military actions?"
--Rush, who can't figure out the difference between a jet fighter safely cruising
at 15,00 feet and thousands of ground troops going building-to-building
in Baghdad looking for Cheney's biggest oil-field equipment customer.
Fordham Fumes over Columbia's Church Joke
Columbia University's marching band hit the Catholic Church below the belt
during a weekend football game - by announcing that rival Fordham's tuition is
"going down like an altar boy," fuming critics charge.
Y'know, someday these jokes will stop.
But they won't stop until the Church gets honest.
by Barry Crimmins
It's nice to see that our court-appointed president is looking out for
our interests by openly pining for a reactionary German government.
You know, the kind of German leadership
that understands the
reactionary desire for world domination.
I guess W won't be happy until someone says: "I knew Adolf Hitler ...and you're Adolf Hitler."
Click for more
Wing tries to get back on track
Two hour premier tonight
The fourth season begins with Bartlet diving headfirst into his reelection campaign,
with Dim Son act-alike James Brolin his opponent. That gives "The West Wing"
a path to follow, at least for a few months - and with Sorkin acknowledging the
show needs work, who better to right the course?
"The latest topic on the left is the 'cost'
of the war on terror.
September 11th cost us over $1 trillion in the stock market alone.
Therefore, the question should be: Can we afford not to fight this war?"
--Rush, saying if we lost a billion dollars, we should throw away another billion to make it even.
Administration Heeds Windbags of War
by Joe Conason
There is no military reason to rush into war without an international coalition and the color
of international law. There are, as Al Gore bravely pointed out on Sept. 23 in San Francisco,
many diplomatic and strategic reasons not to do so. The Bush White House is so worked up over
Iraq that itís discarding our long relationship with Germany, a powerful partner, in a tantrum. This is
infantile behavior, not grown-up diplomacy óand it canít be explained by the urgency of the Iraqi threat."
For a decade, Mother Jones has been telling readers about the
shoddy business practices of George W., Jeb and Neil Bush.
The president's brother Neil, who helped run a Colorado savings and loan into
the ground, costing taxpayers $1 billion, has continued to profit from his family's influence.
Oh, sure, but if the Clintons lose $30K in a bad
land deal, Richie Scaife and the B.F.E.E.
and the stinking media whores go after them non-stop for a goddamn decade.
Where's the honesty in news broadcasting?
Where the integrity of Edward R Murrow?
"I was a liberal, but when
Jack Welch made me rich
I became Bush's whore."
"Merely a first step?"
by Carla Binion
The Boston Globe reports that the Bush administration war hawks have for
many years planned to "reshape" the Middle East. Iraq is "merely a first step."
"After an ouster of Hussein," according to the Globe, "the United States will
have more leverage to act against Syria and Iran."
As the Globe article makes clear, oil
and domination of the region are primary concerns,
not any "threat" from Saddam Hussein. Some of the hawks claim they want to create
"democracy" in the region, but they have lied about that concern in the past.
You mean this war (and this administration) is about oil and nothing more?
I mean, ...who knew?
The voters knew, that's why they rejected his crooked ass at the ballot box.
Thanks to Carla Binion - one of the best!
(I wonder if her family owns Binion's Horseshoe in Vegas?)
Click for folding wooden bears!
"Have you ever seen a tax increase or government
program that ended up
costing what they say it's going to cost? No, they always cost more."
--Rush, explaining that Bush's Oil War will cost a lot more than Bush claims
Best served cold...
I bet you never dreamed in a million years
that the Cowboys would
have a better record than the Rams when they played. did you?
Me neither :-)
"...gasp ...can't ...get ...air..."
(That was my Captain Kirk impression)
What a stunning blow to the gut that was.
I will have to increase my bet in Las Vegas Sunday.
Great Historical Quotes
"Beware the leader who bangs the drums of war
in order to whip the citizenry
into a patriotic fervor, for patriotism is indeed a double-edged sword. It both
emboldens the blood, just as it narrows the mind.... And when the drums of war
have reached a fever pitch and the blood boils with hate and the mind has closed,
the leader will have no need in seizing the rights of the citizenry.
Rather, the citizenry, infused with fear
and blinded with patriotism, will offer up
all of their rights unto the leader, and gladly so. How do I know?
For this is what I have done. ...and I am President Pinhead."
Idea from an e-mail by Betty Bowers
Call me wishy-washy,
Call me a fence-sitter,
Call me "Mr. Waffle," ...if you must,
but I'm beginning to think the Greens are right when they say,
"There's not a dime's bit of difference between Gore and Bush."
I now hereby admit that that is true.
There is (so far) a five
trillion dollar difference between
Gore and Bush and the B.F.E.E. is just starting to roll up their sleeves.
Another difference is between a shaken nation at war, and a nation at peace.
Another difference is between a man who is too stupid
to learn and doesn't want to learn,
and the man ther voters picked in the last election, a man smart enough to negotiate arms control
treaties with the Russians back when Usurper was still drinking, coking and whoring.
I can see hueueueuge differences between the two,
they're right when they say, "There's not a dime's bit of difference."
War is a Lousy Way to Win an Election
Americans are traumatized by the attack carried out a year ago, and we are rightfully battling
to ensure that such villainies do not occur in the future. The administration has consciously chosen
to play on people's real fears of Al-Qaida in order to create the election-season war hysteria.
It implies we will somehow be safer from Al-Qaida if we depose Saddam."
...and the gullible bastards are falling for it!
Help us get the truth out!
Click to become a Corona volunteer for $10
We've got to build a bigger hammer.
The illegal President Monkey in a Man Suit needs to be stopped.
Click Here to donate large.
You Vegas-haters - just take it like a man - it's almost over.
Like most things, I could've handled this better, but maybe we
"touchstone" people to relay messages, coordinate transporation, inform others etc.
For instance - Dan Klinger is staying at The
A lot of people are staying at the Gold Coast - so why should everyone
get a separate cab to ride over to the Hard Rock for the bus ride?
If you're at the Gold Coast, call Dan's room starting Thursday
if you want news,
or to group up for a cab, or the location of the Friday after-bus party, etc.
If he's not there, leave a message and he'll get back to you.
So call Dan Klinger at the Gold Coast for updates.
Call Terry Hanna's room (Rude^Boyee in chat) at
for updates, too.
I'll bet Terry will soon know which room the Party of the Year will be in.
We could probably use more "touchstones," maybe one for
and maybe a miscellaneous person for miscellaneous locals and stuff.
We also need a plan for those getting in Friday AFTER the Magic
Lots of West Coasters are getting in late after working Friday.
We need a way to tell them where the after-bus party is Friday
The fifty of us who are there Friday can't just take over some
bar, but maybe we
can swarm some bar in a casino (The Rio might make the most sense) and do
some gambling and even have a "hospitality" room upstairs for people to meet.
me if you want to be a "touchstone," (that's a dumb name, I know)
It couldn't hurt to tell us where you're staying if you want to
be involved in the group stuff.
You already have my cell phone number, it wouldn't hurt for me to have yours.
The last thing we want is to not connect after we paid to get there.
It goes without saying that anyone who is drinking at this party can't drive.
Cabs are cheap in Vegas, $10 will get you anywhere you need to go.
Plus there will be people not drinking, maybe you can hitch a ride to your hotel.
We don't want to have to organize a bail party for anybody Sunday.
Party in Vegas this weekend
Tickets have been sent! Sort of...
If you haven't gotten a "entry number" from Christian,
and an update from Bart - we need to hear from you!
Click Here for a THE NEWEST BartFest update.
Click Here to see the BartFest Webcam. It's GREAT at night!
Use the portal below and they'll throw bartcop.com a nickel
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
© 2002, bartcop.com
Heard at Bartfest