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Volume 914 - Paul Wellstone

 Weekend   Oct 26-27, 2002 

 Paul Wellstone

 Click  Here

 Let's honor a hero, in a very sad bonus issue,
 ...then come back for the regular treehouse.


"Lack of a mother."
   -- Katherine Harris's exeception to her pro-life stand on a women's right to choose,

 So, abortion is OK with Cruella if the mother is dead?

 Jeb's most recent nightmare

"Bill McBride, the Democratic nominee for governor, has bagged the biggest endorsement of his campaign:
 Republican Gov. Jeb Bush. "He really is one of the great Floridians of our time," Bush says of McBride
 -- the same opponent Jeb's been attacking as a "reckless corporate lawyer" in ads for months.

 Bush's high praise, videotaped for an awards ceremony at McBride's former law firm in 1999,
 begins airing today statewide. The McBride campaign has made Bush's remarks the centerpiece
 of a new TV ad challenging the governor for running attack ads against McBride.

 "Does Jeb Bush believe his own negative ads?" "You be the judge."

  ha ha

 Jeb's a liar from a family of liars.
 I hope McBride runs that commercial down his throat.

 Very tired of meaningless headlines/stories
    a guest editorial by T Gibbons

   Click  Here

 Headlines like these and the stories that accompany them are meaningless
 drivel meant to bring about panic and fear in the populous at large. This so called
 "group" that issued the report has no more knowledge of what the "next attack"
 will be like than they have access to Aunt Betty's secret Apple Pie recipe.

 ha ha

 During Wednesday's debate in Texas between Senate candidates Ron Kirk (D)
 and John Cornyn (R), they were asked if they had ever done drugs:

 KIRK: I tried marijuana when I was in college, but I didn't like it...

 CORNYN: ...I agree with President Bush that campaigns unfortunately have become
 kind of more like Jerry Springer than a discussion of the issues. There is a zone of privacy
 for youthful indiscretions and the like...

 KIRK: I wish I'd have let you answer first.

 ha ha

 Looks like Kirk is honest and Cornyn doesn't want to talk about his drug use

 And without knowing anything about this race, I can guarantee that Cornyn
 wants to imprison people for doing the same damn things he did as a wild college kid.

 It's not the drug use that makes Cornyn a son of a bitch.
 It's wanting to jail young people for having the same "youthful indescretions"
 that Cornyn had and now refuses to be open and honest about.


“I’m very active politically. A lot of people have asked me to run.
  Jeb Bush invited me to help out with his campaign, but it interferes with hunting season.”
       --Ted Nugent, who eats what he runs over in his SUV

 Subject: Hi Bart

 Hey man, I finally found myself in a restaurant that serves your favorite Tequila.
 So I had to break my 'no straight Tequila' ban that has been in effect since 1976,
 ...due to toooo many straight Tequila, ah, er, events....

 It is nice stuff (dangerous, I'm sure, but nice).
 Thanks for being the one to find a great Tequila for me to try.


 Painting, Animation, Illustration and Multimedia
 5 Star Cuisine, Cocktails and Dancing Nightly

 Subject: debate

 You said…

 > There are over a hundred million people on the Internet, some of them are conservative.
 > So why can't I find anyone willing to debate?

 The easy reason is that, like most true conservatives, I agree with you!


 From: Dave Blade

 Don't you understand, Bartcop, we had president prom king ( who raped the prom queen )
 from '93 to '01, and now the Issue Neglect bill has come due, payable with penalties and interest.

 Don't you understand, Bartcop, George W. Bush is the clean-up crew for your cowardly hero,
 the Big Dog, whose history of his narcissistic behavior go back to his Attorney General days
 when he was busy raping democratic contributors like Juanita Brodderick.

 Care to comment, publicly or privately?


 Jose, or Dave,
 Your side couldn't beat Clinton in fair elections, so they paid trailer tramps to make false claims.
 There was never any evidence that Clinton raped anybody, but a dirty story sells newspapers, books
 and TV commercial time on the "liberal media," so they alllll ran with the money-making bonanza.

 That horseshit was always as credible as the baby Clinton fathered with the crack whore.
 Nevermind that the DNA proved the baby wasn't his, it still made a good story for the whore media.

 If you knew anything about Brodderick's claim, you know she was beaten "so badly" that her husband
 never noticed her injuries.  Then, too bizarre for words, she later claimed Clinton had raped her a second time.

 Paula Jones was another one.

 Richard Mellon Scaife paid David Brock $80,000 to go to Arkansas to speak with disgruntled state troopers
 who were also paid $80,000 by Scaife to fabricate stories about Clinton.   Brock's article was printed by the Scaife-financed American Spectator, and when the story ran, Paula Jones ran into the national spotlight screaming
"That's me! I'm the Paula in the book! That's me, me, me, me!"

 Then, because she was so hurt by the terrible ordeal, she filed a sexual harrassment lawsuit.

 Did she file a suit against David Brock for writing the article?

 Did she file a suit against the magazine that printed the article?

 Did she file a suit against the men who mentioned that "Paula" was a whore?

 Did she file a suit against the trooper who claimed Paula asked if she could be "Clinton's regular whore?"

 Did she file a suit against Scaife for financing the whole scam?
 No, even tho Scaife has billions.

 She sued Clinton, who had no money and nothing to do with the article.

 ...and you see that as proof that Clinton attacked Paula Jones?

 By the way, you know who had the first Paula Jones interview on TV?
 Pat Robertson - the "honest and truthful" Christian gazillionaire.

 Somehow, I doubt Christ would've participated in this vulgar political charade.

 To this day, Rush says Clinton ordered Randy Weaver murdered in the summer of 1992, but the facts
 (if anyone cares) remind us that Clinton was still governor of  Arkansas in 1992 - hardly in a position to
 order the FBI to do a goddamn thing, but the right-wingers can make more money with that lie.

 Almost every day, some right-wing loon reminds the sheep that Clinton and Reno personally roasted
 Koresh's kids in Waco, even though Senator John Danforth (one of the last sane Republicans) said in
 his official report that there was "100 percent, absolutely no chance" the government started that fire.

 But the right-wingers can make more money with the lie - so they go with that instead of the truth.

 Let's talk a little more about Juanita, Paula and Monica.
 Since neither you nor I could possibly know the truth about Paula or Juanita, I formed a theory:

 Juanita, Paula and Monica had something in common.  It's my opinion that they may have had
 a sexual experience with a handsome and charismatic AG, Governor or President.

 What's the difference between the two women with wild claims and Monica?

 Monica had no husband to answer to.

 Here's one way it COULD have happened:


 AG Bill meets Juanita in Fort Smith in 1978 (whatever). They had a mutual spark that ended with a
 quickie tryst in one of the empty rooms at Juanita's nursing home. When it was over, Juanita couldn't
 wait to run and tell her little friends about her exciting adventure with the JFK look-alike.
 I mean, what's the point of sleeping with Superman if you can't tell anybody?

 So Juanita told her story far and wide - to everyone who'd listen.
 The story buzzed all around Fort Smith - that Juanita had bagged the Attorney General.

 Then one day, her husband heard the story and confronted her with it.

 With her marriage at stake, what choice did she have? She decided to go with
"Yes, ...we had sex, ...but I didn't want to. Yeah, ...that's the ticket. ...he FORCED me.
  You see, Honey, I love you sooooo much, I would NEVER willingly have sex with anybody else,
  but that evil Clinton ...forced me into a room, raped and beat me up real bad and then laughed at me."

 America refused to believe her, no matter how hard NBC's Lisa Meyers and Fox News pushed her claims.


 Years later, the story goes, the troopers guarding the governor were doing what guards do.
 They drove the governor places and facilitated those who were meeting with the governor.

 According to Paula's only witness, Trooper Ferguson, it was his job that day to escort Paula to the
 governor's private hotel suite, which he claims he did. he said Paula was inside with the governor for a while.
 When Paula came out, Ferguson says she asked him if she could be Clinton's "regular."

 Like with Juanita, Paula couldn't wait to run and tell her little friends that she had provided oral sex to the
 handsome and charismatic JFK look-alike. She told everyone who would listen, "I blew the Governor."

 Sometime later, she met and married the extra-rabid, Clinton hating Steve Jones.
 When the story pops up about the "Paula" in Brock's article, at least according to
 Paula's sister, she said, "Either way, this smells like money."

 Penthouse Magazine interviewed the manager of the shoe store where Paula worked.  He said Paula was
 fired for always asking customers, "Would you like to see my breasts?"   But since Paula had a vulgar
 claim against the guy who beat up two GOP war heroes, the Christian right adopted her as their super-chaste
 Christian heroine. To me, that's just proof the Christian right is nothing but a bunch of opportunistic whores.

 But Paula - she eventually married to the extra-rabid, Clinton-hating Steve Jones, so she couldn't confess
 that the lips Steve had been kissing all this time had blown the handsome governor, so she came up with a
 modified Juanita defense - "Clinton tried to assault me, ...but failed."

 She even provided the salacious dialog. "Would you kiss it?"

 On the last day she was legally able, Paula filed a sexual harrassment suit, claiming that the ultra-vengeful Clinton
 blocked her meteoric rise in Arkansas state government. But there was a problem - Paula was never blocked.
 She'd gotten regular raises and promotions.  In her legal brief, (prepared with assistance from Kenneth Starr)
 she mentioned that the other secretaries got flowers on Secretary's Day - but not her.

 Please take a moment to pity poor Paula Jones, who failed to get flowers on Secretary's Day.

 Since she had no grounds for harrassment (meaning job difficulties for 'not putting out') there was never any reason
 to file the frivolous lawsuit, but the Supreme Court was aching for a GOP president, so the crooked bastards
 who swore on a Bible to judge cases fairly green-lighted the lawsuit without merit and America's whore media
 found the widest and most profitable vein of political gold in all of electronic history.

 It was always a set up, but the American people never fell for it.
 During impeachment, Clinton's approval rating was in the seventies.


 All we need to remember about Monica is she didn't have an angry husband who was
 demanding an excuse when she got caught telling her friends that she was blowing the President.

 Since there was no reason to fabricate a reason for having sex, Monica didn't cry rape.

 Had Monica been married an extra-rabid, Clinton hater, she might've had no recourse but to use a
 modified Juanita defense or a modified Paula defense and fabricate some wild claim about being attacked.

 So, we have no way of knowing the real truth, do we?
 By all accounts, Bill Clinton is a charmer.

 Clinton has been called "very, very charming" by Trent Lott, Bill O'Reilly, Rush the vulgar Pigboy,
 Newt Gingrich and others and I guarantee Bill never asked those men for any sexual favors.
 (Unless you count the reaming Clinton gave Newt over shutting down the government in 1995)

 So, assuming that Lott, O'Reilly, Rush and Newt are telling the truth about the Clinton charm,
 what makes you think Bill Clinton needed to use force to get these women to "favor" him?

 Obviously, being from the other side of the political aisle, it's to your advantage to label the charming
 and charismatic Clinton as "a rapist" because he defeated your two war heroes in national elections
 and "stole" the White House away from it's rightful owners, the Godlike Republicans.

 And, as I always do when this subject comes up, I'd like to thank the Republicans for using something
 besides a 30.06 in their attempt destroy Bill Clinton.    That's very nice of you.   Thanks, I really mean it.

 But the evidence tells me the women enjoyed their dalliance with The Charmer so much that they couldn't
 help but tell everyone they met. And when the story came back to the men in their lives, they were left
 with few options so they went with the guaranteed GOP money.

 As a Republican, you'd be crazy to allow the facts in this case to enter into your mind.
 You've convinced yourself that Clinton is the anti-Christ.  Nobody is going to change that.

 Of all the allegations leveled at Bill Clinton, his refusal to state that he had "sexual relations" with Monica
 (the letter of the law agrees with Clinton), that's the only "crime" your side has come close to proving.

 ...but you HAVE to hate him, so you buy into the lies of the "we love-a-scandal" whore media.

 Clinton has had more press than Jesus, World War II, Elvis, Sinatra, Vietnam and The Beatles combined,
 and all the on;y "crimes" they ever proved was some semi-sex between two consenting adults.

 Get over it.


"Benjamin Harrison, like someone else we know, won the Electoral College and lost
  the popular vote, claimed the mandate of heaven anyway. then pushed through a revenue
  package that helped turn a surplus into a deficit by sluicing money to his supporters in industry.
  Then he was shocked — shocked — to have the country go against him in the midterms.
  We can always hope for history to repeat, whether anyone remembers it or not."
       --Eric Rauchway, History Professor, University of California, Davis

 Top Ten differences between the
 Bush Family and the Sopranos

 10. The Soprano kids only have one arrest between them.

   9. The Sopranos don't ridicule Catholics behind their back.

   8. The Sopranos are a small, local crime family.

   7. The Sopranos don't serve barbecued baloney for their special guests.

   6. The Sopranos never helped Hitler or Saddam.

   5. Tony faints when he sees ducks, Bush faints when he sees pretzels.

   4. Mrs. Soprano never killed anyone.

   3. The Sopranos don't even own one Supreme Court justice.

   2. Bush family treachery far surpasses anything the Sopranos ever dreamed up.

     ...and the Number One way the Bush Family is different than the Sopranos,

   1. Tony Soprano doesn't have women whacked.

 George Bush, The Deserter
   commentary as seen on buzzflash.com

  Click  Here

 According to the records available from the National Guard, the period between May 1972
 and May 1973 remains unaccounted for. George W. Bush himself has refused to answer questions
 about this period in his life, other than to state that he fulfilled all of his National Guard commitments.

 If this were true, why is there no record of him fulfilling these commitments at either of his posts in
 Texas or Alabama? Why is there not one commanding officer that can come forward and state
 unequivocally that Bush reported for duty?


"I've fantasized about having a bumper sticker printed up that said,
'Guns Don't Kill People. The NRA Kills People.'
      --Renee Downing,  tucsonweekly.com

 Subject: Hugging a pilot


 Glad you found my note and thanks for the mention on Malloy - I'm sorry I missed it.

 In my never-got-to-finish-it trip report, I was going to mention being on Mike Malloy's radio show.
 I was on twice, the Tuesday and Friday after BartFest. With this stupid day job, I can't guarantee
 my time, so a week off allowed me the opportunity to speak with my good friend Mike Malloy.
 Mike asked how Bartfest went, and I told him, among the highlights, "I got to hug a really cute pilot."

 When you said you got to hug a pilot I had to tell you that you were in good company.
 (Me, too for that matter!)

 The year was 1988 and it was shortly after the Democratic Convention. My husband and I were
 especially moved by the very powerful speech given by Jesse Jackson, who, for those who don't
 remember, was running for President.

 Back then I was a flight engineer for a major airline on the 727 and our flight was delayed at the gate
 in Chicago waiting for a mechanical problem to be resolved.  At one point I looked to my right into the
 cabin (engineers used to "ride side-saddle" at a control panel) and guess who I spotted sitting in first class?
 Mr. Jesse Jackson.  He was traveling with a small entourage and when I first saw him he was looking very
 distracted - like someone with a lot on his mind.  But very shortly afterwards he looked up and saw me, too.

 He then stood up and announced "I've gotta go hug me a pilot."  He then came into the cockpit and
 gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek and sat down in the cockpit to visit with the whole crew.

 My Captain and First Officer were as happy as I was to meet Mr. Jackson and he spent about ten or fifteen
 minutes or so with us until the flight was cleared to go.  He was a very warm, gracious and down-to-earth
 gentleman who patiently answered all our questions even though you knew he had a lot of other things on his mind.
 Right before he left to go back to his seat, the copilot and I both asked him to autograph our flight plans.
 He gladly obliged us and I still have mine today - "Keep Hope Alive!" - Jesse Jackson.

 So when you asked me in one of your emails if I would tell you some pilot stories, here's one of them.
 And if we ever get a chance to actually sit down and talk I've got a lot of them.  Like the time I had
 Bob Dole come up to the cockpit after a flight (there were no hugs exchanged - thank you very much!)

 See, at the next Bartfest, you have to be the guest of honor and not the director!
 We're going to have to work on that.....

 Thanks again for everything you've done, too Bart.
 "Keep the hammer alive!"


 Deb, great story!

 I can't wait to hear more of them.

 If I had a staff...

 I heard some idiot housewife call Rush the other day.

"Rush, I'm a poor housewife with no money to feed my kids, but I understand why
 Dubya wants to give tax cuts to the rich - it makes all the sense in the world!!!
 If a household gets a measely little taxcut, they might buy a DVD player, which wouldn't
 stimulate the economy. But if a millionaire businessman gets a tax cut, he can hire people
 like me and I can make more money.    It's so logical!!!   Why can't the liberals see that?"

 Koresh help this lady's kids...

 Does anybody remember The BartCop Tax Plan?
 It called for giving $1500 to every taxpayer two weeks before Thanksgiving.

 This idiot housewife is whining that "a tax cut can only buy a DVD player,"
 No, that's all the Bush temporary loan could buy you, and come April 15th, it goes back to Washington.
 Under the  The BartCop Tax Planevery taxpayer gets $1500, which is $3000 for most families.

 With $3000, you could:
buy a washer-dryer
buy clothes for the kids
buy a family night out at the movies and a night at the ball park
pay off some credit card debt
...and still have enough left over for a down payment on a good used car.

 THAT would stimulate the economy.
 Instead, idiots like this woman want to give extra billions to the already-super-rich?

 Now, the way the theory goes, if we give the already-super-rich a few extra million,
 they CAN hire more people and stimulate economic recovery that way.

 What's the flaw in the plan?

 It's like saying, "If you cut Bart's taxes, he CAN give more to the Church in tithes,"

 ha ha

 I ain't giving the Church a damn penny.
 I'll accept the tax cut, tho...
 That's what these evil and greedy Republicans are doing.

 They CLAIM they'll hire more people and update their equipment and expand
 their base if they only had a extra hundred million dollars are so, right?

So, let's call their bluff.

 If I had a staff, if I had research people helping me, I'd have them do a report on the five biggest
 oil companies that got those hundred million dollar gifts from Bush and see just how many
 new jobs those greedy bastards have created with that unearned wealth they had showered on them.

 It's been what, fifteen months or more since Bush gave Chevron $400 million?
 How many new jobs has Chevron created in the last 15 months?


 Seems like General Motors got a BILLION dollars, right?
 How many new jobs has General Motors created in the last fifteen months?

 Michael Moore, where are you?

 Swear to Koresh, if I had a staff, I could create a detailed report PROVING that
 these already-super-rich did NOT hire new workers with their windfall from Bush.

 I'll bet they kept that cash and waited for Bush to crash the economy
 so they could buy a sickly $60 billion company for a mere $6 billion.

 I guarantee this is what happened.

 They didn't invest shit!
 They didn't hire ANYBODY!

 They took Bush's windfall and bought companies so they could lay off the workers and chop those companies
 into easily-sellable pieces and they laughed all the way to the f-ing bank - and we fell for it - AGAIN!

 And the already-super-rich will support Bush again in 2004 so he can FURTHER crash the economy,
 so he can give them MORE giant tax cuts and we'll continue this spiral until we get another Clinton.

 (Bart does a shot of Chinaco to calm down...)

 Somewhere out there, a liberal millionaire is reading this.
 Somewhere out there is a citizen with a conscience who wants America to survive.
 Somewhere out there is a person with a checkbook who can make BartCop Radio a reality.

 I guarantee, if I had a voice that could reach millions, the truth and the facts could overcome the
 torrent of horseshit that the right-wing is forcing on idiots like that housewife with six hungry kids.

 If YOU have the means to make this happen, contact me and we'll turn this country around

The Pieman

 Take my day job - please!

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