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Volume 931 - Death fan

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 Weekend-Monday    Nov 16-18, 2002 


 George Bush is a slimeball, scumbag of a loser who enjoys killing innocent black people.
 He's a mis-educated, drug-addled cowboy who never had to take a test or answer a single
 question in his run for the White House.  He's a mean-spirited drunk who laughs at the homeless
 and those unfortunate enough not be born into a crooked, oil-slick crime family with unlimited wealth
 and lust for power because Daddy ran the CIA for thirty years, who's been arrested so many times
 reporters aren't allowed to ask questions about it and he's a bad father who's dumber than Gomer.
    -- BartCop, November 18, 2002

 ...sorry for that outburst.

 We spent the weekend in Texas with Mrs. Bart's ultra-Republican family.
 They're extra-nice people, but they looooooooooooooooove their George Bush.
 It's hard for me to keep my opinions to myself, and the cork had to come off.

 Ponder this

 What if the CIA/B.F.E.E. knew bin Laden was planning the 9-11 attacks, and the real reason
 they stole the White House was because they knew that the next president could easily get
 extra-Constitutional powers which would make him, essentially, a king.

 You know they'd never allow a Democrat to be king.

 Is that why the RNC flew dozens of operatives to Florida to riot and stop the vote counting?
 Is that why the RNC bussed hundreds of operatives to Al Gore's home to scream, "get out!"
 Is that why the Democrats didn't fight as hard, because they didn't know bin Laden's plans?

  America in a Trance
  Or America the Stupid
     by Al Martin

  Click  Here

 Despite our urgent recommendation to the contrary, the American people have
 seen fit to turn Congress into a Bushonian Rubber Stamp. What does this mean?
 The Bushonian Regime will begin to rape and pillage the nationís social security
 trust fund once again.

 Subject: pay for radio?

 Dear Bart,

 I have been a reader for quite some time now.
 You are one of the only people I've come across who is not afraid to report the truth.
 You do a great service by writing what you do.
 You have the chance to make the people hear you.
 To ask for money for a bartcop radio seems completely unbart-like to me.

 Get the voice out to as many as possible.

 Mike M.

 Mike, let me get this straight:
 You like reading  bartcop.com  and you want to see the message spread,
 but you also want me to keep working 40 hours a week at a nonsense job?

 Hmmm, re-reading your note, do you think I'm trying to buy a radio?

 The point is, if two percent of the readers subscribed for $10 a month, I could take
 bartcop.com full-time and do a better page AND an internet radio version with incoming calls.

 I think a live red-assing of the ditto-monkeys would be a hoot.

 Sorry this page is so late.

 I've been waiting for XP to close a damn window.

Where did the Social Security surplus go?

To the richest of the richest!

 Oh, ...my, ...God

 I'm going to have to schedule a special Number Six for the whores at Fox News.
 I caught just one question that Tony Snow (R-sikkofant whore) put to Tom Ridge yesterday.
 Swear to Koresh, this is word-for-word.  If Fox had transcripts, I'd quote them:

 T Snow: Is Al Qiada  stronger  or  weaker  than they were on September 11, 2001?

 Jesus Christ, can anybody believe that question?

 Just like our loser, low-threshhold pResident, the ONLY standard these clowns are held to,
 is   "Is Al Qiada stronger or weaker than they were on September 11, 2001?"

 Koresh! The mightiest military killing machine in Earth's existence has been after Al Qaida,
 (notice how they're spelling it with an "I" these days?)  for 14 months now, and Snow implies
 if they've lost one percent of their forces, Ridge and Dim Son should get a raise and a second term!

 If Clinton had been a Republican, Snow would've asked, "Are you banging more or
 fewer girls now that you're president than when you were governor of Arkansas?"

 ...and when Clinton answered "Fewer," Snow would say, "Truly, a man on the road to redemption."

 To prove my point, Ridge didn't answer, "weaker."

 Ridge, to his credit, was honest enough to say "It depends on how you measure it,"
 so that partisan bastard Snow asks him AGAIN, "So, ...is Al Qiada stronger or weaker?"

 Ridge finally caught onto Snow's game and eventually said "weaker," but this was a f-ing sham,
 like every word ever spoken on Fox News, it was a totally partisan circus sideshow of horseshit.

 If I was a Republican, I'd stand up and call this horseshit too.

 If Clinton had the good-puppy press the Illegal Moron has, we'd all have free health care, the Dow
 would be at 16,000 and climbing and the surplus would put Social Security in the black for 40 years.

Subject: Interview With Andy Card-Lies Unanswered

Mr. Russert:

In your interview with Andrew Card, he stated in response to a question from you that the
Bush Administration came into office in the middle of a recession, presumably left behind by
the Clinton Administration.  You allowed this lie to go unchallenged, when in fact the government's
own statistics showed that the negative growth quarters didn't start until after Bush came into office.

The First Quarter 2001 GDP was in fact a positive 1.5%.  The Second Quarter 2001 GDP was
a negative .1% and the Third Quarter 2001 GDP was a negative .4%, both after Mr. Bush came
into office and after his tax cut was passed.

Essentially, the recession didn't begin until the third quarter of 2001, at least six months after Bush
came into office and after the centerpiece of his economic agenda was implemented.

I hope that in the future you will challenge such falsehoods when they are made on your show,
instead of letting these lies linger as purported facts.

Or are you only able to do this with Democrats?

Steve Soto

 Portrait of a Scumbag

Hi, I'm John Fund, moralist.
I beat women - got any?

 This is a story you might think is silly, but I thought it was kinda sad.
 When woman-beater Fund wanted Morgan Pillsbury to be silent, he stole
 her Snoopy doll that she got as a four-year old, just to hurt her.

 He said he'd give it back if she retracted her statements that he beat her,
 but how can she retract the photographs the police took of her bruises?
 Is John Fund powerful enough to get the police to "misplace" the evidence?

 Click  Here  to read the sad details.

 BTW, if you're asking why we pick on that bastard Fund, during impeachment  he was on
 the cable whore's shows every night, claiming moral superiority over our best president, ever.


"The president (sic) painted himself in a corner with Iraq and the UN,
  and it was Colin Powell who handed him the brush."
     -- the famous "unnamed source," who said Powell threatened to quit over this,
         which would've made Gilligan appear to be the war-mongering slug that he is

Not qualified to be a greeter at Wal-Mart

 While I was in Texas (R-Dixie) I saw a rack of magazines that made me hurl.

 George the Unelected Usurper was on the cover of a dozen magazines.

 "George's Crawford"

 "George's Texas"

 "George's America"

 "George's f-ing planet"

 It reminded me, when Clinton was saving America's economy, harlots in Arkansas were
 being paid thousands of dollars to fabricate lies about him - so the press could make money.

 Read Brock's book, "Blinded by the Right," where he explains that EVERY nigger-hating Arkie
 (there are thousands) had a direct pipeline to Barr, Burton, Hyde, Gingrich, Shippers, Hatch, Ashcroft,
 and on and on down the line. Anytime one of these racist cavemen had a rumor to sling at Clinton,
 all they had to do was pick up the phone and call a powerful congressman's staffer and that new slur
 would appear on the front page of the NYW Times and the WW Post - without fail.

 All that crap about Mena airport, the crack baby, the mob, the cocaine, the aliens from space,
 every wacko allegation was given big-time gravitas and thrown onto the network whore news.

 But now that we have a selected son of a powerful CIA man installed against our wishes,
 NOBODY has a story to sell, nobody has heard any rumors the press might like?

 The SOB can't even tell us how many times he's been arrested, but the tabloids lay off?

 We KNOW he was caught driving drunk.
 We KNOW he did community service (and when did a Bush EVER do anything for
 the community that didn't involve a barrel of oil and more riched for la familia?

 ...Bart takes a drink

 The reason I got off on this rant is because I saw the current issue of The Economist.

 On the cover is the Smirking Chimp giving a Thumbs up!

 This idiot destroyed the Clinton Miracle of surpluses with his tax cut for his super-rich contributors
 and the goddamn Economist rewards this robbery with a cover and a thumbs up?

 What the hell is wrong with this country?????????

 Oh, ...I forgot, The Economist loves Smirk for creating so many "buying opportunities."

 I need another f-ing drink

 Great toon by Tom Tomorrow
 Why we are going to war


Marty always has good stuff!

 The Head Monkey

 Friday, on Rush's morning update, he wanted it both ways - again.

 First, he wanted to tell that same old lie that Clinton didn't try hard enough to get bin Laden.

 Then, as if he had no idea what he just said, he bragged about breaking the news that our
 intelligence agencies held back information on bin Laden (sounds like treason) because they
 didn't trust the Commander in Chief because of his position on gays in the military.

 Well Gee, Rush, which is it?

 According to you, either Clinton had the info and failed to act, OR
 They withheld the info - so how can it be Clinton's fault?

 Which is it?

 And if September 11th happened because the dinks in the Pentagon like to play "Mystery man"
 with who's gay and who's not in the barracks, they should be imprisoned for treason.

 ..and the whole time, Rush is giggling like he was right about something.


 I recently had a "dust up" with, well, not a good friend, but a occasional correspondent.
 He's a behind-the scenes, upper-tier Florida Democrat, I believe.

 He disagreed with the way I manhandled a ditto-monkey, so he wrote me a note that included,

 "You blew it.  Absolutely. Totally.  ...your sleazy tactics -
   You lost this round.  Write him back and apologize.
   Tell him you'll provide a real reply.
   Feel free to plagiarize; just don't use my name."

 This guy proceeded to "straighten me out," and gave me lots of advice on how to debate a ditto-monkey,
 and he even offered to ghost-write answers in the future for the clueless, unarmed BartCop.
 So, naturally, I told him to take a fucking hike.

 Then he writes back saying I must be under stress, that was all a misunderstanding, that he was
 just being friendly and that he was willing to forgive me but he's old enough not to expect an apology.

 ...takes another drink...

 My mailbox is sometimes like a saloon fight.
 If I get punched, I punch back.
 Over the years, I've had maybe a hundred friends turn on me over a nonsense issue, which is crazy.

 I've lost so many readers over the stupidest things.
 I lost a long-timer for saying John Wayne couldn't act.
 I lost my most energetic recruiter/supporter for saying I didn't think Ellen Degeneres was funny.
 I lost another for saying Michael Jackson was weird.

 So, if you write me a scathing attack letter, but you don't mean it, maybe it would be
 a good idea to include the occasional ha ha, "just kidding" or some of these  :):)

 For some reason, a lot of people think they get one free shot at me
 where I'm supposed to be a good dove and turn the other cheek.

 That's not going to happen.

 Do I have a temper? - Sure, I think tempers are good.
 I wish more Democrats had one.

 When a Republican pees on a Democrat's leg,
 the Democrat will usually apologize for interrupting his urine stream.

 Not me.

 So when you come at me with claws out, expect a fight.


 Reporter: Mr President, can you tell us about Mr. Cheney's angina?

 pResident: His what?

  Reporter: Dick Cheney has acute angina - can you tell us about it?

 pResident: (giggles)  How do YOU know?

 Reporter: Excuse me, Mr. President...?

 pResident: You said he has a cute angina - how do you know?

 Bouncing Betty's

 Click  Here

 Why does Bush ask Ashcroft to announce that certain hospitals
 in four cities have been designated for "spectacular attacks" by Al Qaida,
 and then the White House says "Oh, it's not as bad as Justice says...?"

 Guns Again

 No,  on second thought, I'm gonna quit doing the gun stories for a while
 I'm getting too much mail from left-wing crazies.

"But Bart, why do you want to murder a guy for knocking on the wrong door?"

 Maybe as man, (and liberals) evolve, we can eventually have a discussion about guns
 where I'm not the anti-Christ who's hell-bent on murdering anything that moves.

Where did the Social Security surplus go?

To the richest of the richest!
$3.9 billion to World Com - so they could go bankrupt?

 This joke knocks 'em dead in skating circles:

 What's the difference between Tanya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan?

 Tonya thought of it first.

 The way I hear it, they were two peas in a pod, yet the money-hungry American whore press,
 in an effort to sell more print ads, commercial time and newspapers, created this "Good Nancy,"
 and "Evil Tanya" scenario because framing it that way was good for making a buck.

 Who would've thought the media would slant a story to make money?

 Weekend sports round-up

 Arkansas barely survived football powerhouse Louisiana Lafayette for a victory.
 Texas lost to Texas Tech, which was better than perfect.   At the wedding, there were people
 with mini-portable TVs watching the game seconds before the service. After the wedding,
 I asked TV dude how the game ended, he said "We lost."  I said "Who lost?"    "Texas!"

 ha ha

 It was sweet. Texas fell from the top ten.
 Oklahoma beat somebody by 40 points.
 Ohio State squeaked.
 Nebraska lost again, can't get too much of that.

 ...and the Dallas Cowboys lost, which made it a great weekend!

 How I Helped Save Rush Limbaugh's Life
   ...a true story from a guy who's glad he did it

  Click  Here

 List of Reagan/Bush Convictions

 Hey Bart,

 Thought you might want this in response to a reader:

 When Character Wore Pinstripes: The Reagan and Bush I Administrations
 Reagan administration era convictions in the Iran-contra scandal:

  Click  Here

 J Spangler


 I'm getting a lot of mail saying that evidence was uncovered that Rush was arrested on Winthrop Street
 in PittsburgH for gay child prostitution back in 1973 and was fired from his "Jeff Christie" DJ job over it.

 As you know, we don't do the rumor thing here at  bartcop.com
 If you have the evidence - send it to me.

 But if you saw this story posted somewhere on the internet,
 there's no need to send in the undocumented rumor.

 Star Trek Sex Quiz

 Click  Here

 Subject: Bush Love Fest on 60 Minutes


 Did you see Bob Woodward on 60 Minutes last night? Jeez, the last time the prez
 (in this case, an ersatz prez) got a knob job by someone, other than his wife, he was impeached.

 Woodward is now nothing but a tool and a national joke.


 Derek, I'm so old, I remember when Woodward was a journalist.

 November ad special

 Ten ads for just $300

 You can have every Wednesday, Thursday or Friday.
 ...and weekends are half-price!

 Don't wait, first come, first served.
 Reach dozens with your message.

 In Texas, we went to Ninfa's Mexican Restaurant.

 Besides great food, they have some fine tequila.
 I asked the extra-Spanish waitress what kinds she had, and she said Herradura,
 but she said it so Spanishly I hardly understood the word. She also had Patron
 so I got a shot if each - anejo's, natch.

 It was my first chance to sample them back-to-back without Chinaco in the room.
 The Patron Anejo was lighter and cleaner, whereas the Herradura was earthy and more flavorful.

 So which was best?
 It was, as they say in sports betting, a pick'em!

 Once you get to 100 percent pure agave, it's a matter of taste.
 I liked them both, equally, yet they were so different.

 That's the best way to sample tequila - two at a time.
 One sip is light, the next earthy, the next clean, the next flavorful.

Bush promised to get bin Laden.
He vowed "to bring him to justice or bring justice to him."
That's why his approval numbers went to the high eighties.
That was 421 days ago ...and counting

The good puppy press has forgotten,
...but I haven't.

 In Boondocks in regular newspapers?

 ...or is it too hot for whitey's America?

 It's the best daily comic out there, don't you think?

 Have you seen the new Internet clock?

 Guaranteed to be accurate to within one second.

  Click  Here

 bartcop.com  is worth $5 a month

 bartcop.com  is not worth $5 a month, because ___________.

us with your ideas for how much Bartcop Radio could suck.
 You rich Hollywood gazzilionaires  Click  Here  to donate large.

 Bush court to hear campaign finance case

  Click  Here

 The Supreme Court agreed Monday to take a new look at federal limits on campaign contributions.
 The court will decide whether certain advocacy groups can contribute to candidates' campaigns.

 Actually, they're going to call Bush and ask him how he wants the laws interpreted.
 I mean, what's the point of owning judges if they're not going to rule your way?

Ho...                 ho...                  ho!

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