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Volume 937 - Clothes my body 

please support our advertisers

Monday    Nov 25, 2002 


"Well, you know how it is, ...when you order new cabinets for the kitchen,
  ...it seems like they never arrive on time..."
    -- Reagan the idiot, explaining to a recent widow how a suicide bomber was able
    to drive a pickup truck full of explosives into the Marine barracks in Beruit

 Reagan, who was almost as stupid as the President Happy Crack, had orders to stay away
 from all microphones unless he was reading from a script because he was too stupid to speak
 without someone else having prepared something for them in writing.

 ...just like that moron some call "Mr. President."

 Really 'Big Brother'

  Click  Here

"Although he pays lip service to privacy concerns, Poindexter is trying to build a system that would
 have free rein over every person's Internet activity, banking transactions, travel arrangements,
 credit card purchases, medical conditions, employment history, real estate transactions, car purchases,
 telephone records and any other information contained in a computer database these days.

 That's everybody -- not just those suspected of criminal or terrorist activity. Poindexter wants to
 collect this information on people in America and overseas, and he's been given $200-million to do it."

 It's just like the Democrats to give Bush alllllllll this power, and let him hire a scummy convict
 who's very loyal to the B.F.E.E. to oversee this monsterously huge invasion of privacy.

 Guess who turns 21 today?

                                      Not anymore!

 The most famous drunks in America turn legal today.  A Bush family
 spokesman said the girls are having a "Cowboys & Indians" theme party
 at the Crawford ranch, where they intend to get "drunker than shit."


Been reading your site for a couple of years.
Can't live through the Bush (mis)administration without it.
We NEED Bartcop Radio!


 Mrs Bart was watching some Roswell-UFO Special on the Sci-Fi Channel Friday.

 They said in 1977, when Jimmy Carter assumed the presidency, (legally) he contacted the CIA
 and asked to be briefed on what really happened in the Roswell desert in 1947.

 The director of the CIA refused the request of his Commander-in-Chief.
 (How does that happen, anyway?)

 The CIA director at the time was one George Herbert Herbert Bush (R-Traitor).

 From: Peter Young

  Subject: Evils of Homosexuality

 Ha!  Ha!  Just you wait, Mr. Bartcop; just you wait!
 Just you wait until the next devastating Arabic speaking terrorist attack on These United States!
 Who's fault will it be?  That's right: it'll be the fault of those six homo Army of One linguists.
 If they hadn't of been gay, they would have nipped it in the bud.
 Proof positive of the Evils of Faggotry.

 Pete, what if the religiously insane Cloudminders didn't approve of red hair,
 and they fired all the redheads in the military who were caught dying their hair?

 It'd be their own fault for being born that way, right?

 Whatever happens, we can't fault the Unelected Moron.
 Just because he's driving the boat, it can't be his fault if we hit an iceberg.


"Americans have different ways of saying things.
  They say 'elevator', we say 'lift.'
  They say 'gasoline,' we say 'petrol.'
  They say 'President', we say 'stupid psychopathic bastard.' "
         -- a Brit

 By the way, I've been sent Hu's on First by a bunch of people.
 I didn't run it because A) I didn't think it was very funny and B) it always comes
 with 30 other people CC'd, so I'm guessing everyone's already seen it.

 Just thought I'd mention it so y'all can rest your fingers.

 Who said it?

"You and I are told we must choose between a left or right, but I suggest there is no such thing
  as a left or right.  There is only an up or down.  Up to man's age-old dream -- the maximum of
  individual freedom consistent with order -- or down to the ant heap of totalitarianism.
  Regardless of their sincerity, their humanitarian motives, those who would sacrifice
  freedom for security have embarked on this downward path.

Bill Clinton

Ralph Nader

Ronald Reagan

 ''But he is a moron!''
       Saw it on smirkingchimp.com

   Click  Here

 Françoise Ducros, director of communications for Canada's Prime Minister
 Jean Chretien, said in a private conversation that Mr. Bush was a moron for
 the way he pushed his obsession over Iraq at a NATO meeting in Prague that
 had other important issues to resolve. Most informed people on the planet would
 classify her observation in about the same category as "sugary cereal makes a
 terrible breakfast," but it is so rare to hear even the slightest truth expressed
 regarding America's pathetic chief executive that a bit of a flap has arisen.


"Remember John Poindexter, the arrogant, pipe-smoking Admiral from Iran-Contra?
  Back then, Poindexter was convicted on five felony counts of lying to Congress, but thanks
  to Bush 41, he and Caspar Weinberger never served any prison time. Bush's pardon of
  Weinberger in 1992 was far more threatening to national security than Clinton's pardon
  of the low-life crook Marc Rich, and yet the neo-cons bleated themselves hoarse over
  the latter while relative silence greeted for former."
     --Alan Bisbort, newmassmedia.com

 Is Miranda about to disappear like the Bill of Rights?

  Click  Here

  I always think of Richard Pryor when I hear Miranda.

 "Freeze, nigger! A liquor store was just held up
   by a nigger who looks just like you!"

 Without Miranda, cops will be getting all kinds of false confessions.
 All a cop has to say is, "Confess to holding up that liquor store and you'll only get
 five years. If you don't, you'll get life in prison and never see your family again."

 God knows Scalia's gang of thugs will throw this out, too.

 America - see what happens when they won't let the votes be counted?

Harmony Cedar Hope Chests and Amish Furniture


"Children of America rejoice. You now have dirtier air to breathe because
  all these coal companies gave all these Republicans all this money and
  they're getting paid off. And you're going to pay for it down the line.
  Hurray for dirty air. Just what we need more of, dirty air."
    --James Carville, Crossfire, 11/21/02

  ...and Rush will continue to insist the Democrats are LYING about the GOP wanting
  to pollute the air, pollute the water and cut funding for the school lunch programs.

         ...doesn't read  bartcop.com

      ...reads  bartcop.com  every day

 Weekend Sports roundup

 Ohio State squeaked by Michigan.
 Unranked Wash beat #3 Wash State
 Oklahoma beat Texas Tech by 125 points
 The Trojans had Bruin sushi for dinner
 Notre Dame and God went medieval on poor Rutgers
 NC State reamed Florida State for the first time since Sherman didn't burn Atlanta
 Penn State took Mich State to the woodshed, the refs can't cheat Joe outa that one
 Tommy Jeff's unranked Virginia pistol-whipped #18 Maryland by 35 points

 Kurt Warner fumbled the Rams to defeat
 Da Bears overtimed the toothless Lions
 The Jets and Cleveland both won, keeping alive the myth that God is alive
 Brent threw 4 or 5 interceptions losing to Tampa Bay

 Koresh, me, Nuveeeena, Genslab, hholli1, Alex M, Marty, Bartcook, Perkel, Molly Ivins, Christian, Tally Briggs,
 Morgan P,  Bob from Oklahoma, Rude Rich and rude boyee could beat Green Bay with five interceptions.

 ...but the Dallas Cowgirls won so that makes it a BAD weekend.


"You know what Bill Clinton's done and George W. Bush has never done?
  He actually won a presidential election. No, he won two.
  George W. Bush has never won one. You talk about political prowess,
  have your guy win an election and then come back and talk to me."
      --James Carville, Crossfire, 11/22/02


 When Warren Zevon announced in Sept. that he had inoperable lung cancer, he said
 that it would be "a drag" if he didn't survive until the new James Bond movie opened.
 Well, I guess he made it to today, and one more day with Warren on the planet is
 one less reason to feel bad.


 PS: You probably wrote about this, but David Letterman's show devoted to Zevon
        was probably my number 1 favorite Late Night episode, right after the 9/11 tribute.

 Jeff, I did write about that, saying after his 9-11 show, there seems to be nothing
 Dave can't handle, even talking with a close friend about his impending death.

 Maximum Homeland Security: Prison or Paradise?
   by Mike Subversive

  Click  Here

 Well it appears that we have all been sentenced to a life term, without the possibility of parole,
 to the Maximum Homeland Security Prison of America, Inc. This is in line with America's penchant
 for no muss, no fuss solutions to sticky situations. You've heard of the three-strike sentencing law?
 Well this is the no-strike sentencing law.  No strikes and you're out.


 You asked:

"I wonder - what to they do in countries like England or Japan when someone is kicking in their door? "

 I can't speak for England, but here in Japan it's not something people worry about. It just never happens.
 When someone comes to visit, they ring the bell a few times and then walk in saying "Excuse me".
 No one is in the least bit concerned about 'someone' kicking in their door. And if anyone ever did, you can
 rest assured THEY wouldn't have gun. Last year, over 90% of guns confiscated by police in Japan were
 taken from known yakuza (mafia) or affiliated persons. These people are NOT doing home invasions.
 The kicking-in-the-door phenomon is probably limited to the US, and to alesser extent, Canada.


 kuma, you seem to be saying there's no crime in Japan, no rapes, no burglaries, etc.
 I've never been there, and haven't studied the statistics, but that's hard to believe.

 Are you saying pretty young women don't lock their doors at night
 because nobody would enter their home with bad intentions?


ďAfter all the appearances, interviews and statements, Al Gore's book
  on Amazon is still at #825. Folks, it doesn't get any better than that.
    -- El Pigbo

  Hey, Rush - maybe that's because Gore didn't tell any lies about Clinton's cock.

What does Marty have today?

 If you are a Democrat, you might want to drink Coke instead of Pepsi.
 PepsiCo gave $45,000 to Democrats and $165,000 to fascist Republicans.

 Coca-Cola favors Democrats, but not by much, $157,750 versus $149,350 to fascists.

 Thanks to open secrets.org

Where did the Social Security surplus go?

To the richest of the richest!
And who did Navistar hire?

Nobody - they just pocketed the money.


"I thought I made a pretty good candidate. But we had a
  great candidate in George Bush, no question about it.
  I fell in love with George Bush on the campaign trail."
     -- Orrin Hatch, born and raised in a chicken coop

 Bart, the anti-Semite - again

  Click  Here

 If you didn't have a chance to check in over the weekend, you missed
 the best and funniest issue ever,
 a spectacularly funny issue,
 a pretty darn good issue,
 an issue that had it's ups and downs,
 an issue with some fabulous babes in it.

 Click  Here  to see what you missed

 Click to order

 Susan McDougal went to jail for her principles.
 Buying her book would be a good way to thank her.


"People will say, 'Do you think people laugh with you or at you?'
  I don't give a flying fuck as long as they're laughing.
  I'm doing my job."
   --Ozzy, talking to USA Today.

 Subject: Why sustain bartcop.com?

 The ongoing "pro-war and anti-working people" throb of most broadcast and many print media outlets
 takes me down so low. Instead of aspirin I click on  bartcop.com  and feel better. If you want to save
 money on over-the-counter headache remedies-- try the bartcop.com  elixir.

 Knowing bartcop.com is out there--well, it  is kind of like knowing there are places where someone is
 praying 24/7 for world peace. Think of sending a stipend to bartcop.com--it's like lighting a candle in the darkness.
 If he could quit his day job maybe we'd have the bartcop.com Weekend edition more often.

 Kathleen in Florida

 Yes, bartcop.com  is worth $10 a month

 No, bartcop.com  is worth $100 a month, ...because we need BartCop Radio.

  Help make  bartcop.com  a full-time thing

  Click  Here  to become a founding father of BartCop Radio

 From: Jeremy.Siegel2@gte.net

 Hey Bart-

 Love your Bin Forgotten ticker...

 Why not add in all those days Clinton was president as well?
 Or are you going to remain a hypocrite and only slam the Smirk for failing to nab this scum?

 Hey, Monkey - let me straighten you out:

When Clinton went after bin Laden, your side called it a joke and a distraction from impeachment.
Your Moron president has had 3,000 times more incentive to catch bin Laden and can't (or won't.)
After 9-11. Bush has license to go anywhere and do anything - Clinton didn't have that.
Clinton didn't shoot up 40 approval points by grabbing a bullhorn and guaranteeing he would get him,
     only to later say, "He doesn't concern me."

 and on to other things...

 You may hate Rush but if you looked in the mirror you would probably see his reflection.
 You may be the polar political opposite but your still both party blind and totally predictable.

 Jeremy Siegel

 Hey Monkey, let me give you a few of the differences between me and that vulgar Pigboy

I'm not roping in the religious idiots with "talent on loan from God."
Nobody's paying me to say anything.
I'm a lot more human than that heartless son of a bitch.
I don't introduce myself as "a legend," along with fake applause
I don't believe my own hype.
I'm not filthy rich and whoring for every dime that's out there.
I don't do jokes about innocent 13-year old girls.
I don't think the Titanic killed a bunch of animals with its "oil spill."
I'm not desperately trying to hold onto wife Number Three
I've never had a gerbil in my ass.
I allow even the most brainless and ignorant opponents to express their opinion.
I don't run from a debate - which reminds me, Smartass, would you care to meet me in a live debate
   and see how long it takes me to make you cry like you were my prison bitch?  Or are you like the
   other yapping dogs who just can't seem to find the time?


"Rush Limbaugh is the shadow President of the United States.
 When Bush didnít denounce the global warming report produced
 by his own administration, Rush accused him of turning into Al Gore.
 The Limbaugh web-site featured Bush dissolving into Gore.

 THE NEXT DAY Bush denounced the global warming report,
 and flushed it down the toilet. Ergo, the Round Mound of Sound
 is, de facto, in charge."
  --Rich Procter, Altercation, msnbc.com

Ho...                 ho...                 ho!

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