POLITICS-SARCASM-FINE TEQUILA-VEGAS  HUMOR-SPORTS-GARBAGE-ENTERTAINMENT
Diebold? Why They Lied The Myth of the Liberal Media  BartCop Store New to BartCop? Reagan was famous The vote was rigged?  BartCop Forum Live CHAT		PayPal to  bartcop@bartcop.com  .Support Bartcop.com  PO Box 54466....Tulsa, OK  74155		Back Issues Bart Cook BartCop Sports BC Entertainment Buzzflash Demo U-Ground  Contact us Eric Alterman Gene Lyons Joe Conason J M Marshall MediaWhoresOnline Mike Malloy Project 60 Smirking Chimp Vegas Report Your Ad Here MORE LINKS

 Quotes

"On this Trent Lott stuff - that the GOP is a racist party,
  we're at a disadvantage because nobody is defending us.'
   -- The lying vulgar Pigboy, Rush Limbaugh
 

 Awww, poor thing...
 The only Republicans on the Bush payroll with a radio show, TV show or column are:

Rush the Truth Molester
Sean Hannity, home base for racists in the GOP
Bill O'Reilly and his Constant Spin Zone
EvaVon Zahn has an hour, maybe more, each morning on CNN
The Beltway Boys will say anything to help the GOP
Tony Snow and Brit Hume haven't told the truth since Ailes hired them
Juan Williams and Mara Liason are whores of a different color
John McLaughlin wouldn't tell the truth if St. Peter begged him
Chris the Screamer is a liar without parallel (besides Rush)
G. Gordon Liddy spews three hours every day
Laura the Unloved is a racist sow who's for sale
Michael Medved tows the party line all the time
Sam and Cokie are somewhere, campaigning for Bush
Judas Maximus and George Will (dumb as a chimp) love Lott
Bob Scheiffer says Lott's the smartest man in the senate
Tim the Catholic gives Lott his morning Monica every day
John Hockenberry screams pro-Lott bullshit an hour each night
Ollie North spits his foul fabrications on radio and TV
Robert Novak wants to have Trent Lott's love child
Paul Weyrich would have to move waaaaay left to be a Nazi
Brian Williams will say anything to get a mention on Rush's show
Wolf the Whore has been on the B.F.E.E. payroll since 1992
Bill Schneider was once fair, then he saw the light and the cash
Candy Crowley gushes when Dim Son calls her by her nickname
John Stossel never saw a story he couldn't distort beyond recognition
Howie Kurtz wonders if the media is being fair to the party of racists
Ann Coulter can't keep her knees together long enough to have a fair opinion
Peggy Noonan says Bush scolded Lott severely
Andrew Sullivan will do anything to assist the fuck-the-gays Nazi cause
William Safire says anyone who heard Lott's racist comments is a "congenital liar"

  ... isn't it a shame that there's NOBODY to defend the racist GOP?

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Halfway through a television interview last night -- Trent Lott briefly stunned
 his interviewer by announcing his support for affirmative action.

"I'm for that," the lying racist told Ed Gordon.

"Across the board?" Gordon asked, incredulous.

 "Absolutely," Lott lied.
 

  Bill Clinton never told a lie that big.

 Quotes

"Trent Lott should not have to resign over those stupid birthday remarks.
  He should have to resign because he's a racist and always has been.
  The people of Mississppi knew that wehen they elected him
  and the Senate Republicans knew that when they put him in charge."
    -- Bill Maher, CNN Monday morning with Eva Von Zahn

 By the way - I was hoping somebody would challenge me on the fact that the GOP is totally racist

 Unverified rumor from  www.tomflocco.com

 Secret Service intercepted Michael Moore's e-mail
 and searched his house without a warrant.

 Nothing on  www.michaelmoore.com  yet, but if Tom Flocco is for real,
 maybe Michael's too busy to have his people update his page.

 
 
 Never you mind what's being done to that Moore Al Qaeda.
 Your time is coming, too, Funnyboy.
 You won't be making jokes when we strap you into my
 soon-to-be-here Halliburton secret torture pillory.
 

 Quotes

"I don't think Al Gore needs anybody to feel sorry for him. He's been in the Senate,
  he served with distinction as vice president, he's blessed with a very wonderful family.
  He's blessed with a great marriage. He's blessed with a great family name.
  I don't pity Al Gore. I appreciate his service to the United States and I hope
  he comes back and serves again."
       --James Carville, Crossfire

Quotes

“It struck me as strange...
  Tonight, Trent Lott went on B.E.T. to explain that he's against segregation,
  yet, ...isn't B.E.T., Black Entertainment Television, the epitome of segregation?"
   --  Colin Quinn, former SNL Update Dude, who is following, perhaps in more ways than one,
        the funniest white man in America - Jon Stewart - on the Comedy Channel
 

 Hey, Colin Quinn is no bum when it comes to topical comedy.
 He doesn't care - he's like that crazy Norm McDonald.
 

 By the way,
 calling Jon Stewart the funniest white man in America, ...is that a racist statement?

 Sure it is!

 Like boxing, I can't remember the last time a white guy held the crown.
 What, I should apologize if the black guy is funnier than the white guy?

 I visited my PO Box today.
 I used to check it every other day, back when...
 Surprise, there was something in there this time besides tumbleweeds.

 There was a magazine (Entertainment Weekly) a letter with a generous contribution
 and a key that meant there was a larger container in another drawer waiting for me.

 Thinking it might be a 750 hand-blown of Chinaco Anejo, I opened it right there.
 It was from one cool dude named Mike Jarvis.
 The box contained Al Gore's new book autographed, "To BartCop - Al & Tipper Gore."

 I thought that was waaay cool.
 Mike also included quotes from a conversation he had with Al and Tipper where
 they said  bartcop.com  was the funniest damn site on the whole Internet - bar none.

 They went on and on about how they read it all the time,  and how buzzflash.com
 and dailyhowler.com  were the only place to get real, unfiltered news.

 Sidebar:
 Al and I haven't always seen eye-to-eye on attack-Bush agression, and it's big of him
 to not have me beaten and murdered by his thugs, ...Oh, no, ...sorry that's Bush's people...
 But, .. to the great derision of many people who stumble by  bartcop.com
 I stood with Tipper's record labeling idea, against Frank Zappa, which was heard to do,

 Sidebar in a Sidebar:
 Tipper and Gail Zappa are tight now, so don't hate Tipper cause you're a Frank fan,

 ...but the main reason I stood with Tipper on record labels is because if I had custody of my
 nine-year old daughter and we went looking for a fun movie to see together, and let's say I've
 always wanted to see "Pulp Fiction," I would prefer knowing ahead of time that Ving Rames
 gets raped by some Republican cowboy before my daughter had to witness that.

 And the second reason is I couldn't find anybody who could make an argument I could buy
 that NOT being warned of what was on the record or in the film was a good thing.

 In closing, that was a really nice thing for Mike Jarvis to do.
 He bought the book, got the Gores to autograph it, (no small feat) wrapped it up,
 went to the Post Office, paid the postage and I think he deserves a round of applause...

 Let's hear it for Mike!

 Dude, thanks.

 Headline in Monday's USA Today
 Biden backs letting CIA kill terrorists

 Click  Here  for the same story, different headline
 

 The problem is - that headline is horseshit.

 I have no problem with the CIA killing terrorists.
 I've said it before, I'll say it again: I'd do it myself.
 If I was sure it was bin Laden, I'd have to trouble pumping a few into his head.
 I'm sorry if that upsets you doves, but bin Laden needs to be made dead as soon as possible.

 ...but that's not what we're talking about in this case.

 Bush, Ashcroft and now the CIA (officially) have the legal authority to murder anyone
 they think might be a terrorist. Anyone they suspect is "bad," can now be legally murdered.

 Remember that van full of knuckleheads the CIA drone smoked a month or two ago?
 At least one of those guys was suspected of helping bomb the USS Cole.
 (I guess the others should've picked their rides more carefully...)

 And we've seen how this never-elected gang treats authority.
 They say "Fuck it, we do anything we want," since the Democrats just roll over and beg when told to.

 I don't like this corrupt gang, these felons who needed pardons to bury their worldwide crimes last time,
 being put in a position where they won't even need pardons this time because all their crimes are now legal.

 All Bush has to say is "fighting terra" and anything he does is legal, which is why something like Wellstone's
 plane going down (without an investigation) is so disturbing.  For all we know, President Happy Crack
 had "a feeling" about Wellstone and gave the order and the all-white CIA agreed.

 After all, wasn't Wellstone the senate's Number One leftist?
 Rush says that makes him a commie pinko who wants to destroy America.

 This isn't funny - it's tragic.
 We live in a country where the guy who stole the election has no rules, no laws, and no limits.
 A former ruler's son takes over, mobilizes the army against the citizens and consolidates his power
 with a secret "shadow government," whose members are loyal only to him.

 That's scary shit.

Quotes

“The difference between me and VP Gore is,
  ...I trust the American people..."
     -- Oil Boy, all through that sham of a campaign 2000.
 

 If the Democrats had any balls or the will to fight back, they could run ad after ad
 of Bush claiming he trusts the American people, then ask, "If this is true, why can't
 we see the evidence against Iraq before he sends our sons to die in the desert?"
 But no, we don't fight back, we lay there and beg Bush and Rove to screw us easy.

 If the Democrats has 1/5 of a brain, they play that video clip a hundred times a week,
 again and again and again, and ask Dim Son to show his evidence on attacking Iraq.

 Hey Smirk,

 We can't be trusted to see your Governor papers?
 We can't be trusted to see your Daddy's files?
 We can't be trusted to see Reagan's files?
 We can't be trusted to see your bin Laden evidence?
 We can't be trusted to see your "invade for sure" Iraqi evidence?
 We can't be trusted to see what really happened on 9-11?

 The B.F.E.E. is the opposite of "trust the people."
 Their goal is to steal from everyone and control the world.
 They never trust nobody with nothing, not until they brand your ass.
 The B.F.E.E. is only about secrecy, loyalty, theft rape, wars and murder.
 

 ...Koresh, I need a radio show...

 VCR Alert - Field Marshall Von Ashcroft will be lying his ass of tonight,.live.

 Can you guess on whose show he will appear?

 Also tonight, on a special 24, Kimberly gets kidnapped, and don't forget Ozzy on MTV.

 I am the greatest...

 So this lady tells me "You're the greatest!"

 I know what you're thinking... a talented guy like myself probably hears that all the time.

 I mean, having the smartest, most-intellectual and exciting page ever, how could I not, hear that, right?
 But no, actually, I hardly ever hear it, so when it happens - it really means something.

 So the deal was, Monday was Mrs. Bart's birthday.
 On the way home from work, I stopped at the Walgreens to get her a card
 and a bag of whatever, ...spicey - minty...something Hershey's Kisses.

 Sidebar:
 I need a staff.
 She's been the love of my life for 31 years and on her birthday, she ended up with
 Hershey's chocolate instead of the best ever - The South's Finest Chocolate.
 How did that happen?
 I just let her birthday sneak up on me, so she ended up with street chocolate instead
 of connie, ...connos, ...connousi,  ...instead of the best damn chocolate on the planet.

 Seriously, their chocolate would make Caligula beg...
 (I don't even know what that means... )
 

 ...anyway, back to the story.

 So I'm at Walgreens, and I'm checking out with this n that, which included Vic's Cough Syrup
 because it's only been 37 days now that I've had this cough, plus the street chocolate and the cards.
 As I'm checking out, the total at the register came to $22.02.

 I gave her a twenty and a ten, and she looked at me and said, "Do you have two cents?"

 Well,  ...I thought I did, so I dug for it and Koresh be praised, I found two pennies.

 When I gave them to her, she looked me in the eye and said, "You're the greatest!"

 So, there you have it.
 Totally unsolicted anecdotal evidence that Ol' Bart is the greatest.

 From: Zachary S

 Subject: you people rock

You guys are the coolest mother(effers) on the planet!
 I hope you guys have a good legal defense fund,
 because them 'publicans don't take too kindly to free speech no more.
 This is America, you know.

 I love the CNN online (unscientific) poll from a couple weeks ago that said 68% of
 Americans believe that Jose Padilla should be held indefinitely without charges.
 It might as well have gotten to the core idea and said simply 68% of people
 who go to CNN.com are actually North Korean totalitarian fucks.
 

 Zach - thanks, I love plain talk.
 My legal defense fund is an IQ of 67, a bottle of Chinaco and the goddamn truth.

 They can't touch me, unless they throw away the constitution

 ... then I'm in trouble.

 I'm no tax expert...

 But if you own a business and advertise on  bartcop.com it's my strong belief that any
 monies spent on advertising is a legitimate business expense and therefore tax deductible,
 or at least it's itemized on your Form 8643-FTD.

 I mean, you can send money to Smirk so he can gas the innocent Iraqi children or you could
 send it to PO Box 54466  Tulsa, OK 74155 and make the hammer pie higher, and grow your
 business bigger and make big money like a heartless Republican and put more food on your family.

 Also, and remember this is wild conjecture... ...but it's my best guess if those monies are received
 before December 31, you can take the advertising expense off your taxes THIS YEAR
 even tho you're getting the big increase business bonanza starting in January of 2003.

 And the bigger the check, you more food on your family!

 Remember - it doesn't cost to advertise on  bartcop.com
 It pays to advertise on  bartcop.com

 When I got back Monday after being out of town,
 I saw the package on my desk from  amazon.com

 Woo Hoo!

 It's Susan McDougal's book!

 I'm hoping to get an autographed one later,
 but I had to get a copy now so I can start reading

 Tonight, during my after-dinner cocktail, I speed-read this book!
 I read it faster than The Flash on Desoxin 20s.

 I'll tell you what grabbed my eye - snippets from this part right here:

 Anton, drum roll, please...
 

 As the grand finale to our defense, Mark had a surprise in store.
 He called Julie Hiatt Steele to the witness stand. Julie's story was
 a cautionary tale about the perils of telling the truth to the IOC.

 She faced a dilemma similar to the one I had.
 Not only was Julie indicted, but the IOC launched a personal
 investigation of her private life - even asking her 16-year old
 babysitter if he had ever slept with her.

 Mark told me "You are the theory about the IOC's methods.
 Julie is the actual practice." Yet for Julie, it would be a dangerous
 thing to do. Her own trial was just two months away. By testifying now,
 ...this was pretty much like showing all your cards in a poker game,
 then daring the other players to beat you.

 I had never met Julie Hiatt Steele.
 She was a very convincing witness, ...her demeanor was that of a
 very gracious southern lady. For more than an hour, Julie told her
 story in a composed manner with only a slight hint of anger.

 ha ha

 The IOC chose to let Julie Myers cross examine Julie, which proved to be
 their third big mistake of the trial. Myers launched a full-out attack on Steele.
 Myers barked even the most simplest questions at her, and if she didn't
 receive a satisfactory answer, she would raise her voice even louder and
 repeat the question.  She phrased her questions in sarcastic tones and
 launched gratuitous attacks on Julie's character.

 It was an amazing performance.

 For three weeks, the IOC had worked very hard to build a facade of
 reasonableness. Now, at the last hour, they were choosing to bully a
 polite, diminutive single mother on the stand. Julie handled the
 badgering calmly, refusing to engage Myers in a shouting match.

 When it was over, a veteran Arkansas attorney named Rick Holliman
 walked over to me and said, "They just lost the case. No Arkansas
 jury is going to stand for a woman to be treated like that."
 

 ha ha

 Poor Kenny - he never had any luck with the babes!

 You gotta get this book!

 Click now,
 you'll get it by Christmas
 

 Susan McDougal is not only a trooper, she's a damn entertaining writer.
 This book reads like a conversation with her.

 You gotta get this book!

 Buy it for yourself, or that knuckle-dragging brother-in-law, or that dittohead you're stuck with at work.
 Hell, this way he'll get the facts about that which about he has such strong opinions.

 We must remember in these times of war and recession, that the combined courage of Susan and Julie
 allowed our legally-elected president to rightfully serve out the last two years of his constitutional term.

 A shot of Chinaco Anejo for courage,
 and another shot for guts!

 Quotes

"I've been reaching out, talking to a lot of different people,
  African-Americans  -- seeking their advice -- pastors, media,
  business leaders, and looking for their suggestions of what we can do."
      -- Lott the Liar on BET yesterday
 

 Hey Trent, ask Huey from Boondocks what he thinks you should do.
 I'll bet it involves a bottle of cheap vodka, a dark closet and a working Luger.

 Dueling Quotes

"The remarks by Senator Lott were exceptionally inappropriate but they
   should be placed in context with his otherwise sterling record."
       --Sen. Judd Gregg, (R-One racist covering for another)

"He kept saying, 'I made a mistake.
  But he didn't make one mistake.
  His whole public life has been a mistake."
       -- Julian Bond, telling the truth, on AP Radio

  Is  bartcop.com  worth $5 a month?

  Click  Here   to go crazy and get BartCop Radio started tomoro!

 Have a job opening?   Need a job?
 This is a FREE service, but if Ed gets you a job,
  consider a one-time, 10 percent tithe to him?

  Visit the resume page18 resumes in four categories

  Click  Here  to e-mail your resume to Ed.
  Send him whatever details you want published.

 Housekeeping...

 A new issue of  bartcop.com  was posted last night about 8 PM CST.
 Today's issue went up at 1 PM CST.

 Click  Here  to see Monday's double-dynamite page!

 I could do two of these and a Radio show every weekday if I had more time.

               Lord of the Rings        Band of Brothers          Buffy                UFO Set 1            Godfather Set
               Platinum Series

........................

Search Now:

 Read the  Previous Issue

 It had  everything.

 Copyright © 2002, bartcop.com
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

                    Shirley