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POLITICS-SARCASM-FINE
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Quotes
"It just isn't. There are certain things like
that, myths that are floating around.
I'm glad you asked. This war has nothing
to do with oil, literally nothing to do with oil."
-- Rumsfeld, on CBS
radio, when asked if this is an oil war
ha ha
The mother of all lies.
Where
Osama goes, US corporate deals follow
Is Osama a partner in the Carlyle Group?
Excerpt:
1998 The Carlyle Group purchases
EG&G, a support company for government installations that
has a monopoly on live HAZMAT training
for Government personnel. Carlyle also purchases Sprayway,
a pro cold weather clothing company (like
the kind of clothes that would be used by 82nd airborne and
10th mountain division in Afghanistan)
and Sprayway's subsidiary Claire Manufacturing, which makes
aerosols, and has the milling equipment
to do things like mill Anthrax. Carlyle also purchases Medpointe,
a medical database company, and Empi,
who make a new hi-tech vaccine delivery system.
Funny that back in 1998 the B.F.E.E. knew they'd be needing
cold weather gear, an anthrax mill
a medical facility and a hi-tech vaccine delivery system.
Did the B.F.E.E. sell these weapons to Saddam so they could
"defend" us against them?
Is that why Bush is "dead certain" Saddam has these weapons?
Because he has the original Bill of Sale in his bloody hands?
Sean Hannity (R-Punk ass whiner)
Lately I mentioned that I'm no good at manufacturing outrage.
Something either pisses me off or it doesn't,, but then, I'm
no Sean Hannity.
Last night on the drive home, I hear this panty-waist whining
about SUVs.
He mentioned that Arianna Huffington said that SUVs fund terrorism.
Then he fabricated all this OUTRAGE!!! like somebody went
on TV
and showed a whole bunch of nudie pics of him and his wife doing
the nasty.
Don't get me wrong - I realize he's a self-indulgent, money-grubbing
media whore who is trying
to gin up some interest in something to make his phones ring,
and with Clinton's zipper reduced to
only half his show, Hannity has to change harmless subjects into
the next "great outrage."
Well Sean, let me explain how things work:
I assume the SUVs-funds-terrorism riff is a rebuttal to the ridiculous
assertion that drugs
fund terrorism, which President Happy Crack is trying to sell
kids that are smarter than he is.
I know some things about some drugs, and I can safely
guarantee you that pot and cocaine are
NOT coming to America thru the Middle East. So when Bush
and his lying co-conspirators try
to sell that to the kids, all they can do is laugh at what a
total dork-o-rama had stolen the presidency.
Sidebar:
Surely hashish, opium and other less-than-mainstream
drugs flow thru the region,
but the regular street drugs the kids are
doing don't travel thru Osama-land.
But gasoline does.
Each time you fill up that SUV, the Saudis give Osama a few pennies
per gallon.
September 11th was about gasoline.
When we stopped pressuring Detroit to get better gas mileage,
we were committing troops
to die in the sand and that's a real outrage compared
to the horseshit Hannity manufactured.
So, you have my guarantee that purchasing pot and cocaine do NOT
funnel cash to terrorists,
but filling up your 12-miles-a-gallon SUV helps them without
a doubt.
And the Saudis aren't being asked to crack down on the Al Qaeda
scumbags in their country
because President Death needs Saudi goodwill to satisfy his unending
erection for Iraq's oil fields.
"That Iraqi
oil is gonna be mine.
Unka Dick and Pop promised."
Quotes
"When Presidents speak to the Congress and
the nation from this podium, they typically
comment on the full range of
challenges and opportunities that face us. But these are not
ordinary times. For all the many
tasks that require our attention, one calls on us to focus,
unite, and act. Together, we
must make our economy thrive once again."
-- Bill Clinton, 1993 State of the Union Address, focused like a laser
beam
Bush Defends His $670Billion Tax-Cutting Plan
Excerpt:
President Bush defended his $670 billion
tax-cutting plan against Democratic-led charges that he
is favoring the rich, decrying "the class
war of politics" even as a GOP senator voiced opposition
"It's a fair plan. It's an important plan and
it's a plan that will help people find work," Bush lied
at a flag-making factory in a Virginia
suburb of Washington.
Wait a minute!
Ari the ForkTongue said 92 million people would get an
average of $1083
each.
My good Catholic math says that comes to roughly 95 billion dolars.
$670,000,000,000 in tax cuts will be
taken from the Treasury
- $95,000,000,000 in refunds will be given to 92 million
little people
=============
= 575,000,000,000 is left over and it goes where?
...to Halliburton again?
...to the oil companies again?
...to the B.F.E.E.?
Who will they hire, Mr President?
Two years from now, will we need to give then another 570,000,000,000
dollars?
Will they hire anybody then?
We never had these problems when Clinton was president.
Under Clinton (the last elected president who was allowed to
serve) the economy was so hot,
Greenspan had to increase interest rates six different times
in an effort to cool it down a little.
I miss the old days, when we got to elect our president...
...
"Doctor"
Laura drops the ball
Misses chance to unfairly trash liberals
We get The Shriek a day later, so this happened yesterday
where you are.
Some stupid, idiotic, numbskull, freak-a-zoid, pinhead, air-head,
bonehead woman
called in for advice and she told The Hagster that she taxes
her kids' allowance,
and somehow she takes the taxes from the 12 year old and gives
it to the five year old.
The Unloved said she thought that was kinda stupid, but she didn't
see any overt harm
that could come from teaching the kids about taxes, so she said
it was puzzling but she
gave this nimwit, dumbshit, horseshit idea permission to warp
her kids' minds.
But why didn't she accuse her of being a liberal?
Why didn't she accuse her of revenue manipulation, or whatever
they call that?
Why did Laura pass up a chance to attack Hillary?
Perhaps she's busy with her mother's estate...
VCR
Alert - Wanda Sykes
The Funniest Woman In America is doing her new special,
called "Tongue Untied" on The Comedy Channel probably
10 PM EST, 9 PM CST.
I'm pretty sure it will rule.
This is HER special, with HER name on it.
Tonight's the night her star could shoot across the sky.
Write it on your hand - "Wanda tonight"
I wonder what she'll have to say about the GOP?
Have a job opening? Need a job?
Now with 30 resumes, but since we're under illegal occupation, nobody is hiring?
Click Here
to e-mail your resume to Ed.
Send him whatever details you want published.
Click
Subject: David Stockman and trickle-down
I have a few ditto friends who can't help
but jump all over themselves at the
thought of trickle-down economics.
Every time economics comes up, they make
this over-simplified model and call it
proof of the success of trickle-down.
I saw your post about David Stockman admitting
it was a hoax and I just HAVE to find out
if you have any indesputable evidence of
such. If so, you should publish it on your page so
any time someone tries to use trickle-down
as an argument, it can be thrown in their face.
Hard to slime one's way out of something
like that.
Aaron
I remember it happening because I'm old, but they didn't have
URLs back then.
I wish I could remember his exact words so someone could do a
Nexis search.
Stockman said trickle-down was "a hoax," or "smoke and mirrors,"
or "just a bunch of hooey."
Maybe some reader will stumble on it.
One thing, even when they find that - it'll mean nothing.
Bush 41 ran against Reagan in the 1980 primaries, calling trickle-down,
"Voodoo
economics,"
meaning it was "all crap," but the media won't mention that -
to protect Bush's dimmest son.
Quotes
"George W. Bush was the El Nino of the last
election.
Everywhere he went, he changed the
temperature.
He spent his political capital. What
he got in return was legitimacy."
-- Candy Crowley, who's been
whoring for Bush since he nicknamed her "Olive Oyl"
How did America go broke?
Bush gave Clinton's Social Security surplus to his biggest contributors.
..
And how many people did Navistar hire?
Zero
Look at that again - Navistar paid taxes at a rate of 2.4 percent,
and Bush says big business needs a break so they can hire more
people?
Don't you wish you could pay 2.4 percent on your taxes?
Cromwell sent in a link for Rush's
advertisers
if anyone would care to do some voting with their wallets.
Dear Bart:
You say Daschle couldn't run because he
had no support from the Democratic Party?
Compared to which of the declared candidates
is his support clearly less?
I assume his internal polling told him he had zero support, so
he changed his mind.
I think you're giving Daschle a bad rap.
Being the leader, either of the Majority or the Minority,
is a thankless job. Leading the Democrats
is like herding cats, and you cannot do anything in the
Senate unless you have 60 votes, or compromise
like a mother.
You can open your mouth and speak even if
there are 99 Republicans in the senate.
Daschle has been a mouse ever since I've
known who he was.
Remember impeachment?
Dozens of GOP senators stood in line waiting
to get on camera to condemn Clinton, and since
the Democrats were too scared to speak,
the charges weren't defended and he got impeached.
That damn sure didn't take 60 GOp senators,
did it?
Daschle didn't have 60 votes, and he had
to compromise. As soon as he had to have a vote, and had 4 to 6
Democrats like Zell and Breaux and Landrieu
joining the GOP position, all he could do was damage control.
I don't care if he had three votes, why can't he speak up?
Remember 1993-1995?
We had the WH, the senate and the House, but the MINORITY Republicans
made it clear
that Clinton would NOT get health care no matter what, and they
killed health care.
How can they block legislation as the minority party and we can't?
The answer: We don't want to fight, we're a circus
of pink tutus and Dachle is the ringleader.
If you want to make the perfect the enemy of the good, join the Green Party.
Damn, sounds like a threat - were you enjoying cocktails when
you wrote this?
I respect Daschle, and think he's a good
man, a good Democrat, a good American,
and a good leader, doing about as good
a job as anyone could do in that job.
He might be a good man, but he's got no business leading the senate
Democrats.
I think he's done a horrible job, letting the stupidest man in
political histpory lead him
around like he had a ring in his nose. What does it cost
to say, "Enough, Mr President!?"
Going down in flames on a suicide mission
is not what being leader is all about, nor would it be effective.
He still had to deal with the other
side of the aisle (not having 60 votes, as discussed) after whatever
the Legislation Du Jour moved on
to tomorrow.
Going on a suicide mission and dying without firing a shot is
the worst of all scenarios and that's
what we've had under Daschle. Voting with the enemy is fine when
we're naming buildings,
but giving Bush everything he's ever asked for isn't my idea
of an opposition party.
Where was Daschle during impeachment?
Where was he during Florida?
When did he ever make any move that could be construed as "leading?"
Anyway, if you don't agree, maybe just stop kicking the man when he's down?
I kicked him for lying.
He said, "My passion lies here in the
Senate," so why is he flirting with a presidential run?
He put a pitifully bad face on a really stupid and not-thought-out
decision and he did it by lying.
At least wait for him to do the next thing you'll dislike before jumping him again?
I'll publish about 1 PM CST Friday...
I think he took a principled move, realizing
that he couldn't be the Senate leader for the
Democrats and run for the party's presidential
nomination.
So why didn't he think of that before he announced that he might
run?
...and once again, his decision was to walk away from the fight.
Pickering = Cross burner
Republicans = Racist
Fscsists
Democrats = Scared of
Mr Rove
Should
we give up?
Or
should we resist?
If we had BartCop Radio, supported by 25 cents a day subscriptions,
they
couldn't shut us up.
There's nothing they could do to make us stay quiet.
We don't need no stinking license.
We don't have to answer to some stinking mobbed-up FCC
No better-then-thou Footloose preachers telling us we can't dance.
No censorship, no politically correct "net nannies" barking "You
can't say that."
Is bartcop.com worth $5
a month?
Is the freedom to say anything we want worth five or ten dollars?
They own the TV networks, the major papers and talk radio.
The Internet Resistance is all we have.
Click Here to get BartCop Radio sooner rather than later
Subject: Wanda Sykes
noticing that you love the lovely and tallented
ms. sykes i have to ask:
have you ever seen POOTIE TANG? it's
a chris rock movie (chris plays 3
or 4parts but not the lead) and it is one
of the funniest movies i've ever seen.
wanda plays a character called BIGGIE SHORTIE.
it rocks. check it out.
sa-da-tae,
(that's pootie speak)
dave from joliet
Dave, I have not seen that yet, but if she's in it, it's funny.
Wanda has a better battiong average than Pryor, Rock or Letterman.
Only Jon Stewart is as consistently funny as Wanda Sykes
Dear Bart,
I read the page often, and finally had to throw
some paper at yo' ass fo' it.
I'm not much of a joiner usually, but I had to
help "make the hammer higher"' as you say.
Actually, you have Rush Limbarf to thank in part
for my contribution. I decided to give him a listen
(know your enemy, you know) to see how bad he
really was. I always knew he was an annoying,
conservative windbag, but I didn't think he could
possibly
lie as much as you said.
Here I sit, corrected. But it's not just
the lies, it's the malicious misdirection too.
And one of the many worst parts... his fans call
THEMSELVES dittoes.
I thought you were calling them dittoes to insult
their mean mental abilities.
But they declare it... proudly! As if to
say, "I can't be bothered to actually think,
so I'll just agree with whatever this guy says
because he says it REAL LOUD".
Now I turn off the radio when I drive around and
sing songs to myself about
a world in which Bush doesn't destory our hopes
for peace and prosperity.
Mattzog
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Number of McDougal books bought thru bartcop.com = 111
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Short, rushed issue today - have to move cars around, dammit.
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