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Volume 971 - Time to say no

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 Friday   January 10, 2003 


"It just isn't. There are certain things like that, myths that are floating around.
  I'm glad you asked. This war has nothing to do with oil, literally nothing to do with oil."
     -- Rumsfeld, on CBS radio, when asked if this is an oil war

 ha ha

 The mother of all lies.

 Where Osama goes, US corporate deals follow
  Is Osama a partner in the Carlyle Group?

  Click  Here

 1998  The Carlyle Group purchases EG&G, a support company for government installations that
 has a monopoly on live HAZMAT training for Government personnel. Carlyle also purchases Sprayway,
 a pro cold weather clothing company (like the kind of clothes that would be used by 82nd airborne and
 10th mountain division in Afghanistan) and Sprayway's subsidiary Claire Manufacturing, which makes
 aerosols, and has the milling equipment to do things like mill Anthrax.  Carlyle also purchases Medpointe,
 a medical database company, and Empi, who make a new hi-tech vaccine delivery system.

 Funny that back in 1998 the B.F.E.E. knew they'd be needing cold weather gear, an anthrax mill
 a medical facility and a hi-tech vaccine delivery system.

 Did the B.F.E.E. sell these weapons to Saddam so they could "defend" us against them?
 Is that why Bush is "dead certain" Saddam has these weapons?
 Because he has the original Bill of Sale in his bloody hands?

 Sean Hannity (R-Punk ass whiner)

 Lately I mentioned that I'm no good at manufacturing outrage.
 Something either pisses me off or it doesn't,, but then, I'm no Sean Hannity.

 Last night on the drive home, I hear this panty-waist whining about SUVs.
 He mentioned that Arianna Huffington said that SUVs fund terrorism.

 Then he fabricated all this OUTRAGE!!! like somebody went on TV
 and showed a whole bunch of nudie pics of him and his wife doing the nasty.

 Don't get me wrong - I realize he's a self-indulgent, money-grubbing media whore who is trying
 to gin up some interest in something to make his phones ring, and with Clinton's zipper reduced to
 only half his show, Hannity has to change harmless subjects into the next "great outrage."

 Well Sean, let me explain how things work:

 I assume the SUVs-funds-terrorism riff is a rebuttal to the ridiculous assertion that drugs
 fund terrorism, which President Happy Crack is trying to sell kids that are smarter than he is.

 I know some things about some drugs, and I can safely guarantee you that pot and cocaine are
 NOT coming to America thru the Middle East. So when Bush and his lying co-conspirators try
 to sell that to the kids, all they can do is laugh at what a total dork-o-rama had stolen the presidency.

 Surely hashish, opium and other less-than-mainstream drugs flow thru the region,
 but the regular street drugs the kids are doing don't travel thru Osama-land.

 But gasoline does.
 Each time you fill up that SUV, the Saudis give Osama a few pennies per gallon.
 September 11th was about gasoline.

 When we stopped pressuring Detroit to get better gas mileage, we were committing troops
 to die in the sand and that's a real outrage compared to the horseshit Hannity manufactured.

 So, you have my guarantee that purchasing pot and cocaine do NOT funnel cash to terrorists,
 but filling up your 12-miles-a-gallon SUV helps them without a doubt.

 And the Saudis aren't being asked to crack down on the Al Qaeda scumbags in their country
 because President Death needs Saudi goodwill to satisfy his unending erection for Iraq's oil fields.

"That Iraqi oil is gonna be mine.
  Unka Dick and Pop promised."


"When Presidents speak to the Congress and the nation from this podium, they typically
   comment on the full range of challenges and opportunities that face us. But these are not
   ordinary times. For all the many tasks that require our attention, one calls on us to focus,
   unite, and act. Together, we must make our economy thrive once again."
        -- Bill Clinton, 1993 State of the Union Address, focused like a laser beam


 Bush Defends His $670Billion Tax-Cutting Plan

  Click  Here

 President Bush defended his $670 billion tax-cutting plan against Democratic-led charges that he
 is favoring the rich, decrying "the class war of politics" even as a GOP senator voiced opposition

"It's a fair plan. It's an important plan and it's a plan that will help people find work," Bush lied
 at a flag-making factory in a Virginia suburb of Washington.

 Wait a minute!
 Ari the ForkTongue said 92 million people would get an average of $1083 each.
 My good Catholic math says that comes to roughly 95 billion dolars.

  $670,000,000,000 in tax cuts will be taken from the Treasury
  - $95,000,000,000 in refunds will be given to 92 million little people
= 575,000,000,000 is left over and it goes where? Halliburton again? the oil companies again? the B.F.E.E.?

 Who will they hire, Mr President?
 Two years from now, will we need to give then another 570,000,000,000 dollars?
 Will they hire anybody then?

 We never had these problems when Clinton was president.
 Under Clinton (the last elected president who was allowed to serve) the economy was so hot,
 Greenspan had to increase interest rates six different times in an effort to cool it down a little.

 I miss the old days, when we got to elect our president...
  has produced another masterpiece

  Click  Here


"Doctor" Laura drops the ball
   Misses chance to unfairly trash liberals
 We get The Shriek a day later, so this happened yesterday where you are.
 Some stupid, idiotic, numbskull, freak-a-zoid, pinhead, air-head, bonehead woman
 called in for advice and she told The Hagster that she taxes her kids' allowance,
 and somehow she takes the taxes from the 12 year old and gives it to the five year old.

 The Unloved said she thought that was kinda stupid, but she didn't see any overt harm
 that could come from teaching the kids about taxes, so she said it was puzzling but she
 gave this nimwit, dumbshit, horseshit idea permission to warp her kids' minds.

 But why didn't she accuse her of being a liberal?
 Why didn't she accuse her of revenue manipulation, or whatever they call that?
 Why did Laura pass up a chance to attack Hillary?

 Perhaps she's busy with her mother's estate...

 VCR Alert - Wanda Sykes
 The Funniest Woman In America is doing her new special,
  called "Tongue Untied" on The Comedy Channel probably 10 PM EST, 9 PM CST.

 I'm pretty sure it will rule.
 This is HER special, with HER name on it.
 Tonight's the night her star could shoot across the sky.

 Write it on your hand - "Wanda tonight"

 I wonder what she'll have to say about the GOP?

 Have a job opening?   Need a job?

  Now with 30 resumes, but since we're under illegal occupation, nobody is hiring?

  Visit the resume page

  Click  Here  to e-mail your resume to Ed.
  Send him whatever details you want published.


 Subject: David Stockman and trickle-down

 I have a few ditto friends who can't help but jump all over themselves at the
 thought of trickle-down economics.  Every time economics comes up, they make
 this over-simplified model and call it proof of the success of trickle-down.

 I saw your post about David Stockman admitting it was a hoax and I just HAVE to find out
 if you have any indesputable evidence of such.  If so, you should publish it on your page so
 any time someone tries to use trickle-down as an argument, it can be thrown in their face.

 Hard to slime one's way out of something like that.

 I remember it happening because I'm old, but they didn't have URLs back then.
 I wish I could remember his exact words so someone could do a Nexis search.
 Stockman said trickle-down was "a hoax," or "smoke and mirrors," or "just a bunch of hooey."
 Maybe some reader will stumble on it.

 One thing, even when they find that - it'll mean nothing.
 Bush 41 ran against Reagan in the 1980 primaries, calling trickle-down, "Voodoo economics,"
 meaning it was "all crap," but the media won't mention that - to protect Bush's dimmest son.

Check Marty's E! page
Wanda Skyes - 10/9pm (es/cst) - Comedy Central
Stones live concert on HBO (Sat, 18 Jan)
Fire on the set of  West Wing
5 First Ladies salute Betty Ford - Pickles too drunk to attend?
Elvis's pianist
And, the world's tallest, fastest roller coaster
Leno rerun with BartCop Hex victim



"George W. Bush was the El Nino of the last election.
  Everywhere he went, he changed the temperature.
  He spent his political capital. What he got in return was legitimacy."
    -- Candy Crowley, who's been whoring for Bush since he nicknamed her "Olive Oyl"

 How did America go broke?
 Bush gave Clinton's Social Security surplus to his biggest contributors.


 And how many people did Navistar hire?


 Look at that again - Navistar paid taxes at a rate of 2.4 percent,
 and Bush says big business needs a break so they can hire more people?

 Don't you wish you could pay 2.4 percent on your taxes?

 Cromwell sent in a link for Rush's advertisers
  if anyone would care to do some voting with their wallets.

 Click  Here

 Dear Bart:

 You say Daschle couldn't run because he had no support from the Democratic Party?
 Compared to which of the declared candidates is his support clearly less?

 I assume his internal polling told him he had zero support, so he changed his mind.

 I think you're giving Daschle a bad rap. Being the leader, either of the Majority or the Minority,
 is a thankless job. Leading the Democrats is like herding cats, and you cannot do anything in the
 Senate unless you have 60 votes, or compromise like a mother.

 You can open your mouth and speak even if there are 99 Republicans in the senate.
 Daschle has been a mouse ever since I've known who he was.
 Remember impeachment?
 Dozens of GOP senators stood in line waiting to get on camera to condemn Clinton, and since
 the Democrats were too scared to speak, the charges weren't defended and he got impeached.
 That damn sure didn't take 60 GOp senators, did it?

 Daschle didn't have 60 votes, and he had to compromise. As soon as he had to have a vote, and had 4 to 6
 Democrats like Zell and Breaux and Landrieu joining the GOP position, all he could do was damage control.

 I don't care if he had three votes, why can't he speak up?
 Remember 1993-1995?
 We had the WH, the senate and the House, but the MINORITY Republicans made it clear
 that Clinton would NOT get health care no matter what, and they killed health care.
 How can they block legislation as the minority party and we can't?
 The answer: We don't want to fight, we're a circus of pink tutus and Dachle is the ringleader.

 If you want to make the perfect the enemy of the good, join the Green Party.

 Damn, sounds like a threat - were you enjoying cocktails when you wrote this?

 I respect Daschle, and think he's a good man, a good Democrat, a good American,
 and a good leader, doing about as good a job as anyone could do in that job.

 He might be a good man, but he's got no business leading the senate Democrats.
 I think he's done a horrible job, letting the stupidest man in political histpory lead him
 around like he had a ring in his nose.  What does it cost to say, "Enough, Mr President!?"

 Going down in flames on a suicide mission is not what being leader is all about, nor would it be effective.
 He still had  to deal with the other side of the aisle (not having 60 votes, as discussed) after whatever
 the Legislation Du Jour moved on to tomorrow.

 Going on a suicide mission and dying without firing a shot is the worst of all scenarios and that's
 what we've had under Daschle. Voting with the enemy is fine when we're naming buildings,
 but giving Bush everything he's ever asked for isn't my idea of an opposition party.

 Where was Daschle during impeachment?
 Where was he during Florida?
 When did he ever make any move that could be construed as "leading?"

 Anyway, if you don't agree, maybe just stop kicking the man when he's down?

 I kicked him for lying.
 He said, "My passion lies here in the Senate," so why is he flirting with a presidential run?
 He put a pitifully bad face on a really stupid and not-thought-out decision and he did it by lying.

 At least wait for him to do the next thing you'll dislike before jumping him again?

 I'll publish about 1 PM CST Friday...

 I think he took a principled move, realizing that he couldn't be the Senate leader for the
 Democrats and run for the party's presidential nomination.

 So why didn't he think of that before he announced that he might run?
 ...and once again, his decision was to walk away from the fight.

Pickering = Cross burner
Republicans = Racist Fscsists
Democrats = Scared of Mr Rove

 Should we give up?
 Or should we resist?

 If we had BartCop Radio, supported by 25 cents a day subscriptions, they couldn't shut us up.
 There's nothing they could do to make us stay quiet.

 We don't need no stinking license.
 We don't have to answer to some stinking mobbed-up FCC

 No better-then-thou Footloose preachers telling us we can't dance.
 No censorship, no politically correct "net nannies" barking "You can't say that."

  Is  worth $5 a month?

  Is  Bartcop Radio  worth $10 a month?

 Is the freedom to say anything we want worth five or ten dollars?

 They own the TV networks, the major papers and talk radio.
 The Internet Resistance is all we have.

 Click  Here   to get BartCop Radio sooner rather than later


 Subject: Wanda Sykes

 noticing that you love the lovely and tallented ms. sykes i have to ask:
 have you ever seen POOTIE TANG?  it's a chris rock movie (chris plays 3
 or 4parts but not the lead) and it is one of the funniest movies i've ever seen.
 wanda plays a character called BIGGIE SHORTIE. it rocks. check it out.

(that's pootie speak)

 dave from joliet

 Dave, I have not seen that yet, but if she's in it, it's funny.
 Wanda has a better battiong average than Pryor, Rock or Letterman.

 Only Jon Stewart is as consistently funny as Wanda Sykes

Dear Bart,

I read the page often, and finally had to throw some paper at yo' ass fo' it.
I'm not much of a joiner usually, but I had to help "make the hammer higher"' as you say.

Actually, you have Rush Limbarf to thank in part for my contribution.  I decided to give him a listen
(know your enemy, you know) to see how bad he really was.  I always knew he was an annoying,
conservative windbag, but I didn't think he could possibly lie as much as you said.

Here I sit, corrected.  But it's not just the lies, it's the malicious misdirection too.
And one of the many worst parts... his fans call THEMSELVES dittoes.

I thought you were calling them dittoes to insult their mean mental abilities.
But they declare it... proudly!  As if to say, "I can't be bothered to actually think,
so I'll just agree with whatever this guy says because he says it REAL LOUD".

Now I turn off the radio when I drive around and sing songs to myself about
a world in which Bush doesn't destory our hopes for peace and prosperity.


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