Sent by God to save the Democrats


Why They Lied

Myth of the Lib Media

 BartCop Store

New to BartCop?

Ho Carlson

 BartCop Forum



Your Ad Here

Make payments with PayPal - it's fast, free and secure!
 PayPal to
 PO Box 54466....Tulsa, OK  74155



Back Issues
Bart Cook
BartCop Sports
BC Entertainment
Daily Howler
Demo U-Ground

Contact us

Gene Lyons
Joe Conason
J M Marshall
Mike Malloy
Project 60
Smirking Chimp
Vegas Report


Volume 974 - Lie Another Day

Please click on our sponsors

 Tuesday    January 14, 2003 


"War is not inevitable"
   -- Tony Blair, lying for the B.F.E.E.

 George Bush wants this war more than he wants to see his twins grow up.
 When you're as stupid as The Texacutioner, you need simple goals, like "Kill Saddam."
 That's all his pea-sized brain can process at a single setting. Chris the Screamer said that's
 what made Bush the right president for these times. None of that fancy thinking needed,
 just kill somebody to satisfy his political base since Bush can't (or won't) find Osama.

 How to solve the North Korean crisis
 I suggest we handle it the same way we handled the China spy plane crisis

 Have President Weak and Stupid get on his knees and beg North Korea for forgiveness.
 If that doesn't work, Bush can beg them, "Please forgive us," and if that doesn't work,
 Bush can say, "We're very sorry. Please forgive us," and if that doesn't work, Bush can
 get down and crawl on his knees like a broken puta and beg them, "Please forgive us.
 We are very, very sorry," and then good puppy media would proclaim Bush the
 "victorious victor," who achieved "complete victory" with "dignity and leadership."

 If Bill Clinton ever got on his knees and begged the Chi-Comms to forgive us,
 the Republicans would physically drag him from the White House and lynch him.

 But since the Unelected Fraud has done it - the American press praises his cowardice.


"Bush showing lots of patience"
    -- headlines on every radio and TV broadcast, and in every American newspaper Monday

 Karl Rove sure earns his paycheck, doesn't he?
 He ordered every B.F.E.E.-held media outlet in America to broadcast that message
 - that Bush isn't the oil-hungry, war-mongering fool the world thinks.
 And the good puppy American press is nothing if not obedient.

 Pete the Perv?

  Click  Here

 Townshend, who believes he was abused as a child, has admitted using his credit card
 to access one [kiddie porn] site but argued he was merely investigating for a future book and
 had in the past worked "tirelessly" against pedophilia.

 Poor Pete.
 I'm afraid the word "future" is what makes him seem guilty.
 If he had most of a book wrotten, say 13 chapters, and Chapter 14
 was about his abused childhood, he miiiiiiight have half an excuse.

 And don't have a cow, but I have a slight problem with a person being arrested
 for "illegal clicking of a mouse," but I guess the credit card makes the difference there.
 It's tough to say you "accidentally ran across" a kiddie porn site with your credit card out.

 Plus, there's more to this story:

 British media was awash with speculation on Tuesday that other high-profile figures from the arts,
 and two prominent politicians, were also on the Operation Ore list of suspects. But police were
 staying tight-lipped. Their list was drawn up from a Texas-based Internet child porn ring.

 Thanks to Elline of Bloomington for the great Racist Reagan opening picture.
 That's Reagan's Ranch, where the negro lawn jockey amuses Reagan's racist friends.

 Remember, that's why Reagan left the Democratic party, because they were pushing for
 civil rights for black Americans, so Reagan said, "Screw that crap," and left for the racist GOP.


 "I've been selected as a target by the left because I embrace traditional family values."
    -- Laura the Unloved

 No, Laura, that's not it.
 You made yourself a target when you sold your values for Limbaugh money.
 I'm so old, I remember when you took callers from gay men who asked for advice
 about dating, relationships, in-laws, etc. But then you figured out you could turn your
 hundred million dollars into two hundred million by joining the Party of Bigots and Racists.

 You were once a champion of children. I remember you passionately arguing against guns
 in a home with children, but that goes against the NRA's/GOP's principles, so you abandoned
 your "guns bad" position for one that would pay better. Screw those dead kids, right Laura?

 You're a whore, Schlessinger.

 Your insatiable greed made you a target.
 Saying that you're a target because you support "traditional family values"
 is just another stupid lie from a prostitute with a history of stupid lies.

 By the way, Laura...
 God doesn't allow liars into Heaven.
 Bill Clinton will be waving to you from inside when St Peter says, "Go to Hell."

 Last night I was cruising some lib sites and found a gem at Steve's Political Page

 > Patrick Ford wrote:

 > I am sadden that so many liberals are more loyal to the Democratic party than to democracy.

 If I'm not mistaken, this is the same Patrick Ford who was declared a homosexual in 1993 to millions
 of ditto-monkeys listening to G. Gordon Liddy because of a fax he read from Tulsa, OK (cough)

 I don't know which back issue the story's in, but a decade ago on the Prodigy Radio BB,
 I was giving some monkeyspanks the red-ass, Patrick Ford and some other guy, I forget the name.
 Each time I put them in a rhetorical box, they'd refuse to answer because, as you know,
 anyone who agrees to take the BartCop Quiz instantly becomes a liberal.

 Since they cheated, I got even by sending Liddy a fax with their names on it which read,
"Every four years, the GOP talks about a 'big tent' and then they go back to discriminating
 against homosexuals like Patrick Ford and myself. Will this continue?" signed (the other guy)

 When Liddy read that on the air, to millions of people, I laughed so hard.
 I laughed for a good two hours and got a tremendous headache.
 When I got home that night, the Prodigy BB subject header was:
 "Liddy scammed, BartCop suspected."

 ha ha

 That may have been the funniest moment of 1993 for me.

 So - a shot of two-day old Cuervo Gold for Patrick Ford,
 who's still the same spanking ditto-monkey he was back in 1993.

Thanks to the Taggarts


“If she had lived, Mary Jo Kopechne would be 62 years old.
  Through his tireless work as a legislator, Edward Kennedy
  would have brought comfort to her in her old age.”
     -- veteran Globe staffer Charles Pierce, Boston Globe Magazine

 I'm curious...
 How old would those 240 killed-in-Beruit marines be if Saint Reagan
 had not personally insisted they be housed on land for political reasons
 instead of ships whwre they'd be safe (pickup trucks don't fly)
 like the Joint Chiefs repeatedly requested?

      Never trust a Republican Cowboy with troops

 Who remembers what Reagan did next?

 That's right - he invaded Grenada to get everyone's mind off the 240 dead marines
 which was the first use of the "Wag the dog" scenario the press says Clinton invented.

 Hey - anything to protect the faked legacy of Red-Ink Reagan, right?

 A very interesting story...

  Click  Here

 How would you like an overseas job with Halliburton?

  Click  Here

 See Iraq
 Might meet Whistle Dick Cheney
 Protection by the biggest mob on Earth
 Guaranteed to die rich (See #2)
 Might meet Herrendo Revolver
 Carlyle stock options available
 Get to kill Iraqi goat herders
 Depending on overtime, could earn millions
 No conscience a plus

 One of the jobs to fill is "Weather Observer."
 Hell, I could do that.  Observe the weather?
 I've been doing that since I was a little Catholic.
 I'll bet, with training, even Bush could observe the weather.

 Wait, jokes aside, the ad says they need mechanics to work on
 M1 Abrams and M2/3 Bradleys

 Holy Jesus!
 Halliburton is going to make hundreds of billions.
 Remember a few years ago when Sears was swindling every old lady for whom
 they did car repairs? What do you think a crooked company with a crooked CEO
 overseen by a crooked Pres and VP can earn by double and triple billing Uncle Sam
 for non-existent tank repairs?  I bet spare parts is no problem - they can use the
 perfectly-good parts they took off the tanks to rebuild them and bill the government.

 Is this what Cheney meant in the VP debate when he said he got all those millions without
 any help from the government,  ...and Joe Lieberman laughed and agreed with him?

 Congress and President Extra-Stupid have already signed these contracts.
 The money's already gone!
 All we need now is a war.

 This is why Cheney (5 heart attacks) gave up a $24,000,000 salary - to steal billions.

 Kill him!  Kill BartCop right now!
 He's too close to the truth!
 Stirring up trouble, ...asking questions...
 I wanna kill!
 This'll be like self-defense!
 I wanna kill!
 For the "safety of America"
 I wanna kill!

Please support our advertisers


"David Frum, the former Bush speechwriter whose recollections of the Bush White House
  hit the book stores this week says that in last years State of the Union he was ordered to
“provide a justification for war.” Notice the wording of that statement. Frum wasn't given
  intelligence briefings containing the justification and asked to come up with powerful
  phrases to rally the public behind the just cause. He was told to create the justification.
 The war decision had already been made and the target was to be Iraq."
      --Mike McArdle, The Poodle and The Puppeteer,

 Subject: Bartcop website

 You couldn't be more wrong if you were HITLER!

 Dan Beesh

 ha ha

 Another good argument from the Party of Racists and Bigots

 Observations On The Cusp Of Armageddon

  Click  Here

 VCR Alert - You won't believe this, but tonight on 24, Kimberly gets kidnapped again!
 On NYPD Blue, Andy and Connie argue about Theo, and Saved by the Bell gets caught with a
 big-ass bag of heroin, which I'll miss because The Shield and The Osbournes are on tonight.

 I didn't get to it last week, but did you see the premier of The Shield?

 The season opened with a lieutenant from each of LA's two major heroin-dealing gangs
 getting necklaced (burning tire around their necks) for no apparent reason.   They died.

 Then Vic, the hero/crooked cop finds out his heroin has been laced with poison by Necklace Man
 who lives in Tijuana.  So Vic and his gang of thugs go to Tijuana to get even. They try to buy guns
 from the locals (and end up just getting robbed), so they decide to take down this Pablo Escobar-dude
 by using only their hands. They grab him off the street and drive him to a secluded part of Tijuana.

 As you might guess, Necklace man gets a tire around his neck and then doused with gasoline.
 Vic starts flicking his Bic...  closer, ...closer, ...closer, ...closer, ...until Necklace man cries "Uncle."
 Vic says he wants $400K to not roast him and Pablo agrees. But when the exchange goes down,
 Vic takes the $400K and fails to dump Pablo, so Pablo's gang fires a torrent of bullets into the car.

 So - they're in Mexico, with a rented car shot full of holes, $400K in cash and a bad-ass drug dealer
 who's not happy about his situation. Vic decides to smuggle the drug dealer and the $400K in cash
 past the border guards in the trunk of the shot-to-hell rental. How can they do that? They quickly locate
 a pharmacia and fill the drug dealer's stomach with roofies - he's not going to wake up at the border.

 Well, it eventually worked, but there was that same kind of tension like when Tony and Christopher
 are trying to dig a hole on someone else's property so they can bury Ralphie's head. I think 24  is a
 good show but The Shield is the Tuesday night thriller that gives you more bang for your viewing buck.

 Subject: Thank you for "Since Bush became president... "

 Im glad you are on the web and are telling like it is.
 Your musings on “Since Bush  became President” were right on target.
 Despite all the crap out there, it looks like Shrub’s own party is beginning to turn against him.
 We would gadly support your site if we were working.

 However, since Dumya came into office we have:
   -    lost our jobs
   -    lost our cars
   -    lost our  home
   -    have lost our retirement accounts
   -    have had to declare bankruptcy
   -    have had to move in with my partner’s mother

 Despite 18 months of looking, college degrees, stellar track records in our previous jobs,
 we can’t find jobs OF ANY kind and most of our friends are in the same boat.
 I can’t wait for the next election. It should be interesting.

 Warm regards and keep up the good work.
 The Nichols family.

 Hang in there.
 The new president takes office in 105 weeks.

 Who said it?

 "Hawaii is a unique state.
   It is a small state.
   It is a state that is by itself.
   It is a --it is different from the other 49 states.
   Well, all states are different,
   ...but it's got a particularly unique situation."

Dan Quayle

ha ha
Trent Lott wishes...

 Dear Bartcop:

 A check for $30.00 is on its way to you by regular mail. I wish it could be more,
 but even so I am honoured to add my grain of sand to Bartcop Nation and support
 your mandate to re-attach the cojones back on the Democratic party.

 I can't thank you enough for the work you do.
 And please take very good care of yourself, because we need you!



Visit the all-new 

 From:  Asteriwien

 Subject:  bartcop,hes gone, come and take me

 Im at home.
 Im all alone.
 My boyfreinds gone.
 Come and have your way with me now.

 Thousands of lonely deprived woman are sitting at home all alone right
 now wishing someone would come and have their way with them.
 They could be as close as next door, you could be the one,
 and you can find them right here...

 Asteriwien, (by the way, is that a name or did you sneeze while typing?)
 Sorry, I could never have sex with a woman with poor spelling and bad sentence-building skills.
 It would remind me too much of the man some call "Mr. President."

 Have a job opening?   Need a job?

  Over 30 resumes, but since we're under illegal occupation, nobody is hiring.

  Visit the resume page

  Click  Here  to e-mail your resume to Ed.
  Send him whatever details you want published.

Friends  let friends EAT FARMED SALMON
Support Alaskan wild Salmon fishermen!


“You got to go back to Teapot Dome to find such a fleecing.
  This time it's legal. Bloomberg reported that Bush himself,
  $44,000 tax break here. Dick Cheney, $327,000 tax break.”
    -- Al Hunt on Capital Gang

The AMA Awards


Do you think Heidi Klum and Shania Twain knew they'd be on TV last night?
Have you ever seen women this good-looking looking this bad? your whole life?

Heidi looks like she belongs in the next Kylie Minogue video, (not a compliment)
and I'll bet The Fagawi are wondering what happened to their Chief's daughter, Shania.

 Sheryl Crow won best shirt

Britney won best appearance
by a non-performer

Spade introduced Aguilera as
"her first gig with clothes on."

Carmen Electra was there because
...she was once married to a sexually
confused basketball player?

 There were also some music awards,
 but most of those were won by Eminem.

Check Marty's E! page
Rolling Stones tickets
Nicole Kidman got a star
Jennifer Aniston broke a toe
Anna Kournikova has a heat patch
(Only one?)
VNS put to sleep, BFEE wins all further elections
Mike Tyson is dating again

"I mo bite you!"

Plus Osbournes and Michael Dare


 Hey Bart,

 Where do you get those little blue net tax graphics?
 Are they all collected somewhere?


 Some dude sent those, I wish he'd send more.
 They're from some Tax protest page, I've been there, but did I mark it?

 Please, Mr. Tax Chart Maker,
 make us some more tax charts - they're damn effective.
 Why is America going bankrupt?
 Bush gave OUR Social Security surplus to his contributors


 Look at that again - Ford got 5.4 BILLION dollars of our Social Security money.
 Whose money is that, President Monkey in a man suit?

 And how many people did  FORD  hire?

 F-ing Zero

 So why did they get that money?
 To prop up the Illegal Oil Puppet with unearned donations for another four years?  is now a valid address.
 That's what I need - another mailbox to check!
 Please send all BCR stuff to that address.

 Bush's Wartime Tax Cut

  Click  Here

 Old question: What did you do in the war, Daddy?

 New answer: I pocketed a large tax cut, honey. And then I passed the bill for the war onto you.

Click to Order

Thanks to Mike Bean

 Should we give up?
 Or should we resist?

 I say we fight back!

 If we had BartCop Radio, supported by pennies-per-day subscriptions, they couldn't shut us up.
 Let's take the fight to them.  Pardon my French, but fuck a bunch of defense.
 Let's go on offense and make their heads spin until they're too dizzy to lie to us again.

 Somewhere, a rich liberal telling themselves,
"This BartCop Radio thing just might be a hoot.
  I should send him a check for $50K just to see what happens."

 We're ready  Mr Sorkin, Mr Sheen, Mr Baldwin, Mr Williams, Ms Streisand!
 Of course, you'd have no editorial control, but I think you'll really like the results.

 Is  worth $5 a month?

 Is  Bartcop Radio  worth $10 a month?

 Is the freedom to say anything we want worth five or ten dollars?

 They own the TV networks, the major papers and talk radio.
 The Internet Resistance is all we have.

 Click  Here   to get BartCop Radio sooner rather than later

  Bush's job approval rating drops
  Reality sets in after his Osama boost

  Click  Here

 Bush's job approval rating is 58 percent, a five-point decline since last week
 and the first time it has dipped below 60 percent since the terrorist attacks.

Shopping online?
Use this portal and they'll throw  a nickel.

Search Now:
In Association with

 Read the  Previous Issue

 It had  everything.

 Copyright © 2003,


Privacy Policy
. .