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 Monday    January 27, 2003 


"France, Germany and Russia came down on the US by saying that President Bush
  has a fondness for war. When asked about it, members of the Bush administration said,
"Of course he has a fondness for war, it’s a one syllable word.”
     --Conan O'Brien

Powell: U.S. Ready to Attack Iraq Alone

"I mo bite you!"

  Click  Here

"Multilateralism cannot become an excuse for inaction. We are in no great rush
 (that's a lie)  to judgment today or tomorrow, but it is clear that time is running out."

 ha ha

"Saddam, yo time is up."


"I've no hang-ups about joining the United States in military action.
  It's following that cowboy which I find so hard to stomach."
    --Andrew Rawnsley,  The Observer

 Subject: Valentine candy

 Where is the ad?
 I need some great chocolate.

 Helen Wilson

The Chinaco of Chocolate

 Tell 'em Bart sent you.

Marty's E! page
Baron Dave Romm's tribute to Tolkien
Penn & Teller's Bullshit!
The Library of Congress now has sounds
The Nike Streaker
A dude removed his dad's tattoo, tanned & framed it



"Criticism from Europe must be kept on context.
  America is the world's only superpower.
  If there's just one big house - and you live in it,
  you'll get lots of criticism from the little houses.'s just the way of thre world."
    -- Bob Schieffer, (and therefore, CBS) ready for a long, profitable war.

 Dear BC,

 I recorded Susan McDougal early Sunday on C-Span II.
 I couldn't stop watching!  She's freakin' amazing!!

 Thanks for the heads up!
 How do I keep up with her schedule; if she gets to Dallas, I'd like to go cheer her on.

 Your fan,

 Sofie, I thought she was really good.
 She read a few passages from the book, - the really serious passages.

 When it was darkest, she asked Mrs. Riley what to do, and asked her what the late Mr. Riley
 would have done in her place, her answer was "He's say don't give in, fight the bastards."
 So that's what she did.   I don't know how she can re-live that moment in front of people.

 As far as appearances, this is what I know so far:

 Larry King Live Jan. 29

 Barnes & Noble Los Angeles (Grove), 2/6/03
 Borders San Francisco (Union Square), 2/8/03
 Barnes & Noble Emeryville, 2/10/03
 Borders Seattle (12:30 p.m.), 2/12/03
 Elliott Bay Seattle (5:30 p.m.), 2/12/03

 She seems to be hitting the friendly cities first,
 perhaps she'll head into the rocks and coyote states next.

 Personally, I'd like to see her do more shows with bought-off prostitutes like Hannity.
 She does a great bitch-slap.

 President Anti-Christ

  Click  Here

 One needs to be careful these days. They will throw you in jail for dumb jokes.
 Imagine what they will do when you cast real aspersions. I'm sure you remember
 the guy they tossed in the slammer recently for joking about a 'burning bush.'
 They didn't just toss him in the drunk-tank to sleep it off either. No way.
 Bad jokes and the people who tell them must be made an example for the rest
 of us would-be comics. They gave the hapless jokester 37 months in prison.


"Bush continues to bang the drums of war,
  while the world keeps shaking the tambourine of peace."
   -- Jon Stewart

 Here Lie Bubba and Friends
     - Linda Stasi (R-Needspub)

  Click  Here

"Big Liar's Day" marks five years to the day that Clinton said,
 'I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Ms. Lewinsky.'"

 A. According to DC law, he did not have sexual relations with her, that's why he used those words.
      He's a lawyer and he told the truth.    Reminder: That's why Monica called him "Creep,"
      because he refused to have "sexual relations" with her.    Is your reporting always this sloppy?

 B. What business is Clinton's penis to you, Linda Stasi?
      Do you not have a man in your life, Linda?
      Is this a problem that needs to be shared with everyone?

 C. Today is the tenth anniversary of the GOP's first grab for Clinton's penis.
      Is there anything that can distract you nuts from your penis obsession?
     You grabbed for the magic "ring," and you missed, so get out of here.

 America knows it was all a partsan whitchunt by religio-crazies, tobacco whores and those whose
 loyalty belongs to the B.F.E.E.  (Remember, Bush created Whitewater in the 92 campaign)
 While the GOP, the media and the FBI were inside Clinton's trousers, Mo Atta was getting ever
 more confident with his flight simulator.  If the GOP had been less obsessed with Clinton's zipper,
 the FBI might've had more time to review the "terror" files.

 And even after 9-11, this is STILL what you think about just before you fall asleep?
 Your deviant sexual obsession disgusts me.
 Please stop writing about it.

Click for more info


"The potential for white Western body parts flying around with the Iraqi ones should make
   them think again about this imperialist oil war. We will run the risk of being maimed or killed,
   but it is simply the same risk that innocent Iraqis will themselves face.  I would rather die in
   defense of justice and peace than 'prosper' in complicity with mass murder and war."
      --Ken O'Keefe, former Gulf War Marine, organizer of the "Human Shields" campaign, 01/25/03

Nothing will make them "think again" about this war. As a man, I assume you're familiar
     with totally-out-of-control lust? Bush has a hardon for war - nothing can stop that now.
     Just like with impeachment, this won't stop until Bush has his orgasm.
     Trust me.
There's no "risk" of being maimed or killed, you will be. What will that prove?
"White western body parts" flew around on 9-11-01. They don't care.
     They stole the White House to steal hundreds of billions, if not more.
     Evil men will murder if it will get them more oil and more money.
The fact that Bush has chosen to murder Iraq is no reason for you to die.
You will die in defense of justice. Shall we put that on your headstone?

 I'll kill everyone!!
 I don't care if they're Gulf War marines.
 Kill them right now!
 Kill them all!
 Them bombs be coming!
  I always get what I want!
 I wanna kill!
 That oil is mine!

State of The Union Signs

 People are asking, "We have to print that entire message on the sign?"

 No, all you need to qualify for the big prizes are the words,
 "He is lying.
   He's NOT the president.".

 Also, some people already have the Susan McDougal book,
 so first place winner gets their choice, then second, then third.

Take a picture of the sign while President Slovik is speaking.
Send two pictures of your "He's NOT the President" sign to


"They have actors on so they can marginalize the movement. If you're an actor who is pro-war,
  you're a hero. If you're an actor who's against the war, you're suspect. You must have a weird
  angle or you just hate George Bush. I'm being treated like a child, and that's how I think the
  American people are being treated by their media."
       -- Janeane Garofalo on why the networks booked her to argue against the war

 Just like with impeachment, the whore media can make more money on a war than with peace.
 In 1998, if they had said, "It was just sex, there's no scandal here," they'd lose billions.

 And today, there's no money in peace, just ask the B.F.E.E..


"Bush has the smallest vocabulary of any president I've ever seen."
         --Bob Novak


 Susan McDougal and Helen Thomas are both women with the courage of their convictions and integrity.
 Helen's short, direct and specific questions do not leave any wiggle room; I'd love to see an entire room
 filled with others like her asking the needed, relevant questions.

 David B

 David, I agree, but those days are gone
 We're in George Bush's Amerika now.

 The press prints what Karl Rove tells them to print.

  Fame more important than duty?
 ‘Idol' Before Iraq


  Click  Here

 As thousands of Marines are preparing to ship out to the Persian Gulf within the week,
 one leatherneck is making his mark on "American Idol" instead. Lance Cpl. Josh Gracin,
 21,  was slated to be deployed with his unit in Kuwait in the coming days.
 But his mother said that when he got his big break to appear on the popular Fox show,
 Marine brass made an exception for him

 Hey, anything to pay back Rupert Murdoch for playing Bush ball all these years.
 Bush knows how to get those military exceptions tailored to his needs.

 It is cold where you are?

 It was 12 last night in Boston.
 It was   1 last night in Chicago.
 It was 10 last night in St Louis.
 It was 13 last night in Minneapolis.

 A "What did Bush know?" sweatshirt would keep you warm.

                   front             Click                   back


 More Great Novak Quotes
    Selected quotes from Saturday's Capital Gang  transcript

 NOVAK: And when Don Rumsfeld says that there are a host
                  of allies anxious for this war, that's just not true.

NOVAK: (UNINTELLIGIBLE), you know, I know, I know how...

 NOVAK: But the, but the, but the -- look...

 NOVAK: But let's be honest. This has been a changing target of the reason for
                  ...a largely unprovoked military attack on Iraq."


 NOVAK: ... they ought to pass the (expletive deleted) thing.


 NOVAK: NOVAK: I'm nice to everybody.



 VCR Alert

 Dinner for Five on the IFC satellite channel. Are all the shows as good as the first one?

 I realize The Practice is past its prime, but tonight's show stars Alfre Woodard.
 You can find as good an actress as Alfre Woodard, but you can't find better.
 Oh, and Alfre plays a schizoid prisoner with multiple personalities.
 Sally Field won some award for playing Sybil, but Sally Field is no Alfre Woodard.

 Biography has the history of the Royal Saud family tonight.
 I wonder if they'll show Dim Son and Osama playing as children?

 Super Bowl 37

 Everybody knows defense beats offense, so the game went as scheduled,
 so let's get right to the reasons this game draws such a big crowd.

 When I read Shania was going to sing, "I Feel Like a Woman," I wondered
 if she was going to wear that dress she made famous - The Dress of the Century.

             No,                 ...but she dressed to kill, and so did Gwen from No Doubt.
                                    And funny, it was Diamond Bra Night, but it wasn't billed that way.

 I thought the girls were doing just fine, but then they cut Gwen's second song (I was hoping for
 'Keep on Dancing') so seventy-year old Sting could come out and sing a seventies song - why?.

 And the commercials, were they very good this year?

 USA Today voted "Replay" with the Budweiser horses and the zebra as the best.

 I thought the Fed Ex was good, where the castaway delivered a GPS system after 5 years on the island
 and the Willie Nelson IRS was cool, but Ozzy ruled the day. Can you believe they spent $4.4M to play
 those stupider-than-stupid anti-drug commercials?  (More on that later)

Readers    Best         Worst
  Cheryl -             Ozzy              Dodge Ram Heimlich
 Katherine            Ozzy              Dredlocks dog
  Rob                   Replay
  CLP          The office linebacker
 Brian M    Bud Light Clown/Ozzy
Keenan E   linebacker, zebra, Ozzy


Dumbest Superbowl Commercial
They linked a pregnancy to smoking marijuana......What a fucking farce!.
When you smoke pot you usually just get the munchies and tired. that is a different story.

Meanwhile...they are showing beer commercials every other minute.
The anti drug commercials are a fucking joke.

Meanwhile we have an unelected drunken, drug abusing fraud in the White House
who has a hardon for war.  Not to mention his drunken, drug abusing family.


 The SoTU Address I'd Like To Hear
     by Arianna Huffington

  Click  Here

"With this in mind, I call upon Congress to enact legislation immediately raising the mileage standards for
  all cars and SUVs to 40 miles per gallon -- a move that will save American car owners $45 billion each
  and every year on their gasoline bill. That is money that can be used right now to stimulate our economy.

"Congress also needs to close the senseless loophole that allows the biggest gas-guzzlers to get the biggest
  tax breaks. I'm taking the lead on this issue by abandoning that component of my new economic plan that
  would increase by 50 percent the already substantial write-off available to buyers of the least-efficient SUVs.
  People buying fully loaded Hummers, Navigators and Land Cruisers should not be able to immediately
  deduct the entire price of their vehicles.


"We've got this guy in the White House who thinks he is a man, you know, who
  projects himself as a man because he has a certain masculinity, and he's a good
  old boy, and he used to drink, and he knows how to shoot a gun and how to drive
 a pickup truck, et cetera,  like that. That's not the definition of a man, goddammit."
    --Ed Harris, (Great Actor) at the Pro-Choice dinner,

 Subject: Illiterate readers

 Bartcop -
 How come no one can spell anymore?? I don't mean to nitpick, (I was an english major)
 but I am appalled at the number of misspelled words. Easy words. Like "president."
 See "Toms" note from san diego protest. Presedent he says..

 No wonder you people can't get anyone elected.
 When I was a cop, our grammar had to be perfect. Or the attorneys would eat us alive.
 If you care enough to write, do it right. Learn to spell. Back to your rants..Thank you.
 B Carrigan

 Mr. Carrigan, if spelling counts, grammar should too, right?

"Or the attorneys would eat us alive."   Could you diagram that sentence for me?
 Also, "Toms" should have been "Tom's" and "san diego" and "english" should be capitalized.
 You were an english major? In an English-speaking country?

 Besides, it was a joke, as in "Bush is a jenius."
 Try to remember this is a humor treehouse,

 There was an extremely idiotic commercial during the Super Bowl.
 It showed a guy on a subway being confronted by the 6 people he "killed" by using drugs.
 The dead explained that since he bought illegal drugs, the gangs fought and killed them.

 This is first degree horseshit.

 You know why Budweiser doesn't try to rub out Heineken?
 Because alcohol is legal, that's why.
 It's drug's illegality that empowers gangs - the drug laws make them rich.

 If pot was legal, they'd be buying $2.2M 30-second commercials on the Super Bowl.
 The babes would be tearing each other's clothes off screaming "Tastes better," vs "Gets you higher."
 But noooooooooooooooooooo.

 If you could plan a few seeds in your backyard, you would never buy pot from a dealer,
 but the government doesn't want pot to be peaceful and friendly, so they criminalize it
 so only criminals sell it, thus creating the incentive for gangs to use force to protect their turf.

 Those are the facts and you can't argue with the facts.

me if you feel like losing the debate.

 "Guns don't kill, God's flowers kill."


I sent this to the NYWT today after reading about it on your website.


Subject: McDougal book "review"

Apparently, the [ahem], "CREATIVE" writer you assigned
to the Susan McDougal book review exceeded all expectations!
Hopefully, the NYT has more CREATIVE attorneys on staff than Fact-Checkers,
because I think you're probably going to need all the help you can get on this stinker.
All the Best,
BTW: Reading Ms.Lowry's "creative writing" style was like wading through glue.
Is there ANY chance of the NYT confiscating her crayons until she completes her GED requirements?

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"I trust the people because when they know the facts, they do the right thing."
    --Harry Truman, explaining why Bush has to bury Reagan's presidential papers.
       If we saw what was in there, we'd arrest Bush, his daddy and the Reagan/Bush cabinets.

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