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Volume 1056 - Viceroy 

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 Wednesday April 30, 2003


"Where is Saddam? Where are those arsenals of WMD, if indeed they ever existed?
  Perhaps Saddam is still hiding somewhere in a bunker underground, sitting on cases
  of weapons of mass destruction and is preparing to blow the whole thing up and bring
  down the lives of thousands of Iraqi people."
     -- Bad Vlad Putin, mocking Tony Blair and the illegitimate warmonger

"Putin has a good heart - I looked into his soul before we kissed."

 Saddam to deliver message within three days?
  The Corrupt Commander hasn't done one thing right in 2+ years

  Click  Here

 A previously unknown Iraqi group opposed to the US presence said Saddam
 was to deliver a message to his country within three days.

"Saddam was not killed. He is still alive. He is going to address a message to Iraqis
 and to the Arab nation within 72 hours," the group calling itself Iraqi Resistance and
 Liberation said in a letter published by London's Arabic newspaper Al-Quds Al-Arabi.

"Saddam has come across evidence that some Iraqi officials had long been involved
 with American and British intelligence."

 Bush is such an over-promising idiot.

"Daddy says I don't have to keep any promises..."

 He starts with "I will bring bin Laden to justice," at the WTC, standing on the rubble.
 Then later, when he comes up emptuy, it's "bin Laden doesn't concern me!"

 Eighteen months later, there he goes again: "I will bring Saddam to justice."
 Then, "bin Laden is no longer in power - that's what's important."
 Sure, unless you're an Iraqi soldier cooperating with the Coalition of the Arrogant.

 But as long as the good puppy press ignore's every proken promise, why should he bother keeping any?
 You watch, they'll run Bush in 2004 as "The man who delivers on his promises," and the press-on-the payroll
 will echo every bit of praise flowing from Mr Rove's word processor.

 FOX News and Clear Channel are working 48/7 to declare Bush the only candidate for America.
 What happened to campaign finance reform?

How can anyone compete when the Bush Family OWNS the biggest cable news outlet and the
 and biggest radio network, with their constant, Nazi blowhards screaming lies about the majority?

One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.
One who follows the teachings of Christ in so far as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.
    --Ambrose Bierce,

Visit  The Devil's Dictionary   (2003 SXSW Finalist, Weird/Extreme Category)

 Texas GOP chair defends low-income program cuts

  Click  Here

 Republicans working to make budget cuts that would remove thousands of low-income Texans
 from health care and other assistance programs aren't being hard-hearted, Texas GOP Chairwoman
 Susan Weddington told other party leaders.

 Now that Republicans control the statehouse for the first time in 130 years, they are simply trying
 to realize a long-sought goal to "realign" the role of state government, she said.

 But she acknowledged that many people considered poor or near-poor by existing governmental
 standards will soon have to fend for themselves.

 Look, it's the B.F.E.E. company cheer: "Fuck the poor, they didn't vote for us."

 Subject: Two Things...


 You seem to have latched on to the ignorant and pompous Al Franken's spew about the prowess
 of the "Clinton military".  Let me tell you, Bart.  I was in the Clinton military for eight long years,
 and this ain't it.  Trust me.  Al Franken knows about as much of the military as he does about
 quantum physics, and is in no position to contribute substantive opinions about it.

 Pompous gasbags work both sides of the aisle, you know.

 Brandt B

 Well Brandt, thanks for the note but you didn't say anything.

 Are you saying Bush's military is superior to Clintons?
 How is that possible, without additional funding from Bush?

 You can hate Al Franken (or me) all you want, but it would further the conversation
 if you actually contributed something besides "Franken is ignorant and pompous."

 How did you become familiar with Franken's service record?  Is it public knowledge?
 What makes Franken less qualified, than Rush, Hannity or Savage?

 I'm interested in what you have to say.


"Karl Rove has broken creative new ground in appalling political opportunism by pushing back
  the Republican national convention in New York City to September 2004, the latest date for a
  convention in the party's history and only days away from you-know-when. Rove envisions
  merging the Madison Square Garden party with the 9-11 anniversary commemorations into
  one big national security lollapalooza. Perhaps President Bush should just skip the pretense
  of the Garden and give his acceptance speech at ground zero."
      --Maureen Dowd, she hates everybody - this time it's Mr. Rove

 Barbara Hartwell  tonight on internet radio  www.barbarahartwell.com

 Her show is on every Wednesday night from 7-9 PM Eastern.

 Never a CIA sex slave.
 Never a CIA "Honey trap."

 Bush daughter naked on film?

  Click  Here

 Hustler Magazine is trying to locate a rumoured video of Bush's daughter Barbara
 - allegedly frolicking in the buff.  Larry Flynt is reported to be ready to flash around
 up to one million dollars get his mitts on the speculated footage, which was supposedly
 taken at a party at snooty Yale University, according to the New York Post.

 Gee, that's more qualifiers than Clinton got in these last eleven years. With Clinton, they said,
 "We heard a rumor, so call it a fact and put it on Page One above the fold."

This could never happen. Bush has to Enron all of us
so his crime family can bankroll their world takeover.

Hebrew/Bar-Bat Mitzvah tutor available in Washington, D.C. area
for private or small group classes. Reasonable rates!!
Contact Yuval at (202)  271-2816 or  yuvalpinto@hotmail.com

Please visit our sponsors

 Subject: Napoleon and the U.S. Media

 Hey Bart, have you noticed that U.S. media outlets are finally starting to show some spine
 and question the motivations for going to war?  Not nearly enough, but it's encouraging to
 think that abject fear of the Patriot Police hopefully won't last until the '04 election.

 Of course, it's incredibly disheatening to think that the media could have put an end to the lies
 before a war was started, but didn't.  It reminds me of some age-old wisdom by Napoleon,  who
 said that "it's not necessary to censor the news, it's sufficient to delay the news until it no longer matters."

 Neill Patterson

 Similarities: Saddam and Randy Weaver (R-Patrol Saint of Guns)

1a.Randy Weaver was a believer in a strange religion out of the mainstream of American beliefs,
     which included belief in the holiness of war against unbelievers.

1b.So is Saddam Hussein.

2a. Randy Weaver was thought by the government of the United States (or portions thereof) to be tied
      to a terrorist group, the Order, who were guilty of terrorist actions--like the robbery of  $3 million
      from an armored truck and terror threats against American citizens. Though they shared general beliefs,
      and were acquainted with each other, strong ties were never proved.

2b. Saddam Hussein is thought to be tied to Al-Qaeda, the WTC, American embassies in Kenya, and other acts.
      Though they are both Muslims, no strong ties have been proven.

3a. The principal charge against Randy Weaver was conspiracy to sell illegal sawed-off shotguns.
      The arms charge was brought by a one-time friend who was actually a government agent.

3b. The principal charge against Saddam Hussein is a weapons charge: possession of illegal weapons of mass destruction.
      This charge was brought by a one-time ally who in the past had supplied Saddam with those very weapons.

4a. Randy Weaver was arrested in violent fashion, and threatened with the confiscation of his home if he lost his case in court.

4b. Saddam Hussein was confronted with massive military force and threatened with overthrow and exile if his compliance
      with a UN resolution was deemed unsatisfactory.

5a. Randy Weaver did not appear in court, and a large powerful force of Government agents laid siege to his home.
     Although Randy Weaver was the one they were after, government agents shot his wife and his eleven-year-old son,
     who had no charges brought against them and whose crime was their loyalty to the head of the family.

5b. We'll see.

 Wait, I have another one for you:

 Randy Weaver's wife and Saddam were ordered dead at the request of
 the father and son team that controls the worl'd biggest criminal empire.

 Isn't it funny - we hear about New York's massive debt...

 They didn't really say four billion, did they?

 And funny how none of that blame goes to Rudy or Bush.
 It's the same way in Oklahoma.
 Before he was even sworn in, they blamed the incoming governor-elect as the guy who
 caused Oklahoma's budget troubles, because Frank Keating was governor the last six years
 and we can't blame a Bush-ally, super-Christian for the red-ink, so it's the new guy's fault

 When Clinton was president, we had money to throw away.
 When Clinton was president, we argued about the best way to spend the surplus.
 When Clinton was president, the stock market TRIPLED, instead of crashing.
 When Clinton was president, our biggest national emergency was which nipple he licked first.

 With Bush as president, we lost our right to vote.
 With Bush as president, New York got a new skyline.
 With Bush as president, the surplus turned to an eternity of decifits.
 With Bush as president, the Bill of Rights took a f-ing hike.
 With Bush as president, we have SARS in Tulsa, Oklahoma.
 (And they haven't even notified the other people on the plane with him.)
 With Bush as president, we're in a war that our grandchildren will be paying for.
 With Bush as president, we're borrowing money to give the super-rich a tax cut.

 This is because Bush controls the media.
 So war, death, recession and plague are portrayed as preferable to the peace
 and prosperity we had back when the president was elected by the people.


"Fox has taken so many viewers away from CNN and MSNBC because of their agenda
  and because of their target marketing of cable news viewers. I'm afraid there's not a
  really big place in cable for news. You can see the big hires on other networks, right-wing
  hires to try and chase after this effect."
     --Ashleigh Banfield, who also attacked NBC Whore News for hiring Michael Savage,
       who called Banfield a "slut," for asking radical Muslims why they hated us

 Hey, any news organization that would hire Rove-puppet Tim Russert...

Sometimes, terrorism runs in the family

  Subject: Monday's Daily Show...

  Hey, Bart - did you catch Jon Stewart last night?
  He did a brilliant "debate" featuring Governor G.W. Bush vs President G.W. Bush.
  His lying ways were never more so perfectly illustrated.  This is something everyone should see. I

  If you can get a link on your site, it'd be great.

 Your new, loyal fan.

 Miss Davis

 Comedy Central was nice enough to stream it for us.

 Click  Here  because you can't miss this.

 I'm sure this link is temporary, so don't delay.
 This is a very quick load - what we'll be doing soon.

 The crowd gasped after the first exchange - it was wild stuff.  Jon asked a few more questions, and each time
 the Bush not speaking would smirk at the other Bush - it was hilarious, and it showed how effective comedy
 can be when totally dismantling the Corrupt Commander's Litany of Lies.

 Also, something I find refreshing is the "Ozzy-ing" of The Daily Show. Sometimes Jon just looks at the
 camera and says, "What the fuck is wrong with this country?" and they'll bleep the "F," word.

 Oil, Vietnam and the CIA
  by Phillip Schuman

  Click  Here

 George Herbert Walker Bush and William F. Buckley, Jr. used their oil business interests as cover for their
 CIA positions and travels overseas, as well as the offshore rigs for smuggling operations. The three surplus
 ships used to supply the Bay of Pigs invasion had been rechristened Houston, Barbara, and Zapata,
 GHWB's city, wife and oil company name, respectively. And an international oil man, George de Mohrenshield,
 a fascist White Russian who was fiercely anti-Communist, was the patron of Lee Harvey Oswald in Dallas.
 When he was scheduled to testify before the House Select Committee on Assassinations the next day,
 he was found dead from a shotgun, ruled a suicide. His personal address book was found to contain
 an entry for 'Poppy Bush,' with Bush's Houston phone number next to it.

 It wouldn't surprise me if the BFEE and the CIA killed Kennedy.
 I mean how could Poppy, Dim Son and Jeb begin their illegal dynasty
 with Jack, Bobby and Teddy lined up as the voter's favorites?

 From: postnasaldrip@aol.com

 Subject: Thanks for your extremism

 Dude, before we get started, no matter what everyone says about your nick, that's first class.

 It's great to see a man who really exhibits the true character of the left in this country.
 You are an excellent exhibit in proving that your side is totally irrational and incapable of governing.

 I'll bet you could just chew me up and spit me out in a live, chat room debate, right?
 Damn, I pity the day you cought me and challenged me to a live debate.

 Keep it up.
 You're doing a better job of destroying whats left of your credibility than we ever could.

 Rave on, brother !


 Post, it's true that you have no power to destroy my credibility.
 I thought that was kind've an honest thing for you to admit up-front.

 But how long has it been since you were given the bright red-ass?
 You got any plans for Thursday night at 9 PM Central?

 Click  Here  to get the free and easy software and we'll see you tomorrow night.

 Bring as many friends as you want.
 Seriously, I do some of my best work against groups.

 ha ha

 They're all the same.
 They got nothing but a hardon for a brain just like Rush Limbaugh's..

  Click  Here

 This was a pretty important couple of weeks in the war. Fighting came to an end in Africa
 and the Battle of the Atlantic had turned decisively in favor of the Allies. There's going to be
 a bit of a lull during May, but the proverbial poop is going to hit the fan at the beginning of
 June with the battles at Kursk and the Sicily invasion. Big things are coming.


 Dave, great work.

 Subject: you and Grey Goose


 as a former citizen of USSR (or current citizen of a country that's trying to be former USSR, depends how you look at it),
 and a Russian, I was outraged by your remarks on the quality of Grey Goose.  I personally don't think Grey Goose is all that great,
 and I don't think it's smooth, but then again, I am a bit partial.  Plus, isn't the 'cool' thing to do this year, is hate the French?
 Why don't you take that $30 bottle of vodka, and pour it down the drain.  That would be the PATRIOTIC thing to do!

 ha ha
 Yes, ...must hate French, ...must obey  ...Corrupt Commander...

 Back to tastes of vodka.  I'd like you to purchase a bottle of Stolichnaya Gold (I'd mail you one, but not sure how you
 mail a bottle?).  That is the best, smoothest vodka I have ever tasted.  And take my word for it, I've tasted TONS of vodka.
 Even though it's rated number 3 in the world, to me it beats Grey Goose.

 Let me know how the experiment works out!

 Yours trully,
 Alex M.

 Alex, do you want to know a secret? I stopped drinking Grey Goose a long time ago.
 Vodka is such a woman's drink, and a first-timer's drink. Teenagers put it in orange juice to kill the taste
 until they learn to handle it as they grow older. If I'm going to drink vodka,  I'll drink the cheap stuff,
 because vodka isn't for tasting.   The purpose of vodka is to get drunk, not to enjoy the wonderful taste.

 If I want to savor a great-tasing beverage, I drink what God drinks - Chinaco Anejo.
 But if I just want to crawl in a bottle after watching another Democrat castrate himself,
 I'll get the Barton's or the Smirnoff and the four-ounce shotglass.

 Del Castillo has the passion

 I caught (notice the phrasing) the Del Castillo live and free concert last night on KLBJ Local Licks Live Taping

 Godfrey Daniels!

 I know so little about this kind of music, I can't tell you if it's Salsa or Latino or (would Tex-Mex be the wrong term?).
 It's possible they've just invented their own style. I've never heard anything like this before  Whatever it's called, the musicianship
 was 100 percent pure blue agave, which was no surprise, and damn, you should catch the passion the singer was giving up.

 It took my damn breath away, they were so good.
 I guess when SXSW awards you Best Band, Best Album and Best Song, it means something?

 Click  Here  if you have any interest in hearing great guitar work.

 Why do they play like that?
 Because they can!

 ha ha

 Playing Card Deck Shows Way to U.S. Regime Change


      Ace of spades..........................Four of Clubs

 ha ha

 Dim Son only ranks a four in his illegal administration

"I should at least be a six..."

 Subject: A $700 Billion Deal You Can't Refuse

 Hi Bart:

 I read an interesting story (link below) in the Des Moine Register online regarding the conservative group "Club for Growth".
 In the article, "Club for Growth" revealed itself as nothing more than a goon squad in suits, mere hatchet men for the White House.

 Republican Sen. Charles Grassley, chairman of the Senate Finance Committee, has riled Republicans in the House because
 earlier this month he brokered a deal in the Senate to keep a $350 billion lid on a proposed tax cut. That's half of what was
 proposed by President Tool. He has taken mucho heat form fellow Republicans for what Grassley asserted is an attempt to
 prove his party can govern. Note also he said "govern" and not "rule" as some on the right like to assert.

 Club For Growth as been running attack ads against Republican moderates Sen. George Voinovich of Ohio, and Sen. Olympia
 Snowe of Maine, the two moderates with whom Grassley made an agreement to limit the tax cut to $350 billion. They are called
 "Franco-Republicans". The goons decided to spare Grassley’s knees. As so succinctly stated by David Keating, executive
 director of the group "He's not a target - he's voted to support the president."

 Mobsters, hatchet-men, goons, enforcers, cannons – call them what you will but call them what they are – political gangsters.


 Mark in Lexington


 We need your 30-second MP3s for "bumper music," and vocals are now allowed.
 Remember, we only need 30 seconds.
 (If you send a 35-second clip, that's OK.  Just don't send Ina-Godda-Da-Vida.

 E-mail them to bartcop@bartcop.com   so we can hear them on 

 What if the North invaded the South and found no slaves?

  Click  Here

 Last week in Washington, while the search for weapons of mass destruction proceeded with archeological
 slowness, the Bush administration trumpeted other justifications for the war, such as Hussein's brutality, while
 quietly expressing confidence that banned weapons will be discovered or found to have been destroyed.
 Democrats, even some who supported the war, began rumbling about how a failure to find any WMD
 would damage President Bush's credibility, as if his standing were the only thing at risk.

 Leave it to the Democrats to wimp out on every side available to them.
 Did you know more Democrats voted to invade this time, than last time?

 Last time, Saddam kicked in a neighbor's door (with written permission from Bush 41) and the Dems,
 as a party voted against it. This time, when Saddam did nothing but anger President Loves Death,
 the Democrats lined up behind him so he could have a cozy commercial to hang them with next year

 VCR Alert

 On tonight's West Wing, Zoey gets kidnapped, just like Kimberly in 24.
 And who is behind this horrible crime?   Chandler Bing.

 Also, Wanda's last show this season, a new Law & Order - what is this - sweeps?

 The whorehouse of modern journalism finally did something right.

 Reporters Fired Over Smart Case Story

  Click  Here

 Two Salt Lake Tribune reporters have been fired after selling [false] information about the Elizabeth Smart
 abduction case to a supermarket tabloid for a story that has since been retracted. Vigh and Cantera
 split $20,000 for their help on a July 2 National Enquirer story headlined "Utah Cops: Secret Diary
 Exposes Family Sex Ring." The story has been retracted as part of a settlement between the Smart
 family and the tabloid.

 I'm all for protecting a source, but not when the source is lying.  The source that told Drudge that
 Sid Blumenthal beat his wife was protected by Drudge.  The source that told the Dallas Morning Whore
 that Bill and Monica were interrupted by a Secret Service agent was protected by the paper - why?

 Journalism would be better off if the liars were exposed and fired, but if that happaned, who would be left?
 Conason. Lyons, Ivins, Kruugman, Perry, Fisk, Baker and a few others - but that's it.

Marty's E! page
 Season Finale of 'Wanda At Large' on Faux
The Louisiana Purchase is 200 years old today
Recording artists against further radio deregulation
Metallica hosting new 'Headbangers Ball'
Big Bird's autobiography
And Mickey Rooney in Mott, South Dakota



"Successful empires must be based on hypocrisy.  The Americans can say they're doing
  things in the name of freedom, liberty and apple pie. But they must build a civil society and
  revive the economy before they have elections. From 1882 until 1922, the British promised
  the international community 66 times that they would leave Egypt, but they never did.
  If Bush leaves Iraq to its own devices, the whole thing will blow up."
     -- Niall Ferguson, Oxford professor and author of Empire.

 What liberal media?

 The newsletter of FAIR (Fairness and Accuracy in Reporting) researched the nightly news programs before the war,
 in the two-week period surrounding Colin Powell's presentation at the UN. The big network programs - ABC, CBS,
 NBC and PBS were examined.

 Results: of 267 American news sources (people being interviewed or commenting during the news program),
 only 6 percent questioned the need for war. The other 94 percent were for the war.

 And this was at a time when polls showed that 61% of Americans wanted to wait and give the UN and weapons
 inspectors more time. Clearly the news programs selected their guests according to a conservative ideology. 75%
 of the guests were either current or former administration officials.

 The "liberal media" is indeed a myth.


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  I guess it depends on how much you want to hear Rush getting beaten up.

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