Specializing in the adminstration of the Republican red-ass
Bill of Rights
by Bruce Yurgil
J M Marshall
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"I am sick and tired of people who say that
if you debate and you disagree with
this administration somehow you're not patriotic. And we should stand up and say
we are Americans and we have a right to debate and disagree with any administration."
-- Hillary, at some dinner in Connecticut
"I want her dead! The Democrats gave me the power
to execute anyone I don't like for any reason, so I want
this ...female senator dead - take care of it, Unka John."
"Can do, Sir. The next small plane she gets on...
That's why God put you in charge, Sir."
Elayne Bennett, wife of conservative virtues whore and professional Clinton criticWilliam Bennett,
pulled little Billy under her skirt and declared that her husband is "not addicted" to gambling and
has not lost millions of dollars at casinos. Nevermind that Newsweek and The Washington Monthly
reviewed internal casino documents, including one showing hm wiring $1.4 million to cover losses
over one two-month period.
That averages out to $700,000 a month in losses at the gambling
tables and Mr Better-Than-Everyone
has the gall to declare that he doesn't have any kind of gambling problem? Who is giving this pious
hypocrite advice on how to spin this career-ending crisis, Doctor Laura without her pants on?
"I'll tell you what's going to happen. I'm
going to be dead. That's what's going to happen.
I've lost 45 pounds since my coverage was cut. I don't sleep at all, I'm so worried."
-- Cheryl Asbell of Oregon, seriously in need of medical care but cut from essential (and even life-saving)
programs because the Bush tax cuts caused the economic crash that's getting worse every day
During the campaign of 2000, it started going around that Bush, then the leading Republican candidate,
had significant gaps in his military record. Specifically, that Bush failed to report for duty for an entire year
toward the end of his hitch with the Texas Air National Guard.
The short version: In May 1968 the silver-spoon
son of a U.S. congressman jumped to the top of a
long waiting list despite mediocre scores on his pilot-aptitude test and was allowed to enlist in the Guard,
a common way to avoid being drafted into combat in Vietnam.
In May 1972 he sought a transfer from Houston
to Alamaba There, he worked on the U.S. Senate
campaign of a friend of his father's and, records indicate, blew off his military obligations.
Bush failed to take his annual flight physical
in 1972 so Guard officials grounded him, the story went.
He never flew again and received an early discharge to go to graduate school. His final officer-efficiency
report from May 1973 noted only that supervisors hadn't seen him or heard from him.
...and now the press is praising this deserter-during-wartime.
Remember, the last American to desert was Eddie Slovak, in 1945.
He was executed for deserting, while the good puppt press helps Bush cover that up.
"A great lie has been told. There were no weapons
of mass destruction, and Iraq never posed any threat.
Inspections worked. The fact is that the United Nations disarmed Iraq. The war was never about getting
rid of weapons of mass destruction. It was about getting rid of Saddam Hussein. He lied to send us to war.
His lie caused the death of over 130 American soldiers and thousands of Iraqis. He is a murderer."
-- Scott Ritter, former Marine, current weapons inspector
Says No More Gambling
Mr. Better-than-you now admits he's been lying about his gambling monkey
"It is true that I have gambled large sums of money," Bennett said in a statement.
"I have also complied with all laws on reporting wins and losses.
"Nevertheless I have done too much gambling, and
this is not an example
I wish to set. Therefore my gambling days are over."
But you didn't mind setting that example last week, so what changed, Bill?
I'll tell you what changed - YOU GOT CAUGHT!
For years, you and Laura the Unloved have been whining, especially
during impeachment, that when people
apologize after they get caught, you have to ask why they didn't apologize before they were caught.
That means they'd probably still be doing it if they could. That's what you said then, Smokey.
Those are the rules you hypocrites laid out.
When Doctor Laura got caught spreading her legs for some even-Hustler-won't-print-them
she insisted in her faux radio show "apology" that it was OK, because, "you're not really an adult until you reach 30."
She was 29 when she spread her legs for that camera.
But we forgave her, because she's a harpy-bitch moralist who judges
We'll forgive Bill Bennett for his vices, too, because he's a Republican, like Laura.
We for gave Dan Burton for fathering a secret child out of wedlock.
We forgave Henry Hyde for breaking up that family by whoring the wife.
Look at Henry Hyde, leader of the Morality Impreachment Witch
That woman on his lap is married to another man.
Hey Henry, where's your left hand in this picture?
She left her kids and her husband after Henry Hyde, (R-Hypocrite)
broke them apart with his raging, out-of-control sexual hormones.
...but we forgave him.
We forgave Bob Barr, (R, Killed-his-daughter)
because he was such a pro-life advocate.
We forgave Newt, after screwing two wives over, one on her deathbed, because he hates blacks.
We forgave Smirk for abortion, coke, deserting during wartime, his fake Iraq war that killed thousands, but that's OK
We forgave Cheney and Rummy for arming Saddam and Osama
We forgave Bush 41 for stealing the 1980 election - we forgive them all.
But Bill Clinton lied about sex, ...and that we cannot forgive.
“Senator Santorum took a very courageous and
moral position based
upon principles and his world view. I’m very proud of Rick Santorum.”
-- Tom DeLay, squirrelly bastard from Sugarland, Texas, Rally Round Intolerance
"I'm nuts about gay bashing!"
House of Cards
Vast quantities of weapons of mass blah-blah continue to be not discovered a month after
the “Christian Coalition of Two” totally-demolished the nation they used any evidence -
however phoney—to convince us that he possessed them.
And the “American People” don’t give a damn.
Or put another way—even if they do there’s absolutely nothing they can do about it.
"A president who basically blew off most of
his Air National Guard hitch would fly
onto an aircraft carrier to declare an end to a war, and that amid all the media's gushing
over this stunt there was virtually no mention of the president's military record -- or lack thereof.
Wouldn't it have been apropos to bring up his Air National Guard absence?
-- E-mail from Rhode Island
"I've seen a couple of references to Bush's
National Guard service, but since
we never got a definitive explanation as to whether he was absent without leave,
it's hard to keep pounding that as an issue.
-- Howard Kurtz:, covering for the Illegal Ursurper and his lies
Since the White House refuses to talk about it, we agreed to not ask.
He looks so pretty in a flight suit, how could we tarnish his wondeful image?
Kurts, you're a whore on Bush's payroll - you give reporters a bad name
Tonight on 24,
it's Jack against the president's evil and cunning wife.
"Don't try me, Mrs. Palmer," Jack says, pistol in his hand.
Will Jack mention bartcop.com again tonight?
The third-last Buffy ever.
Caroline Kennedy on Jon Stewart - that's kinda rare.
I think that shows what kind of respect Stewart has earned right now.
It's my guess she could go on any damn political show she wanted to,
but since the media has become all-Nazi all the time, she likes The Daily Show.
Fighters back in Afghanistan
Our next president will have to clean this up
Hundreds of al Qaeda and Taliban fighters, like Jan, managed to escape the US blitz in Afghanistan,
finding refuge in the madrassahs and Afghan refugee camps situated in the hilly terrains of Baluchistan,
as well as in the tribal areas in the North-West Frontier province of Pakistan. In recent months they
have recovered from the shock of their defeat at the hands of US forces and are renewing armed operations.
Units of Taliban loyalists – along with fighters loyal to Gulbuddin Hekmatyar, the leader of the hardline
Islamic Hizb-i-Islami movement – have infiltrated back into Afghanistan to carry out attacks against
US troops and Afghan government forces.
In 1991 two baseball card manufacuters made Desert Storm War trading cards,
and I showed them to some peace activists 12 years later and filmed their response.
I entered the five-minute film into a competition put on by Adbusters, and I just heard
that I won their mini-docs category!
They're streaming the video online at:
Check it out!
Hope all is well,
Kent, damn good work. I especially liked your choice of music.
You are a very talented film maker. Thanks again for that best-ever film you did for us
a year ago in DC. I can't believe how well that turned out. It was absolutely perfect.
Note: Kent refused payment - he did the entire film not
only for free, he paid for the Party's PA system,
spent his own money on expenses and considering the hundreds of cuts that film had, there's no telling how
many hours he had in the editing room - and what did he ask in return? That we include his "Handi-Camp"
video as a companion piece so he could raise money for people who didn't catch the breaks you and I caught.
Dude, if I can ever repay the favor - call me.
“George W. Bush does not have the right to
represent the American people, if he told a lie.
And he told a whopper. George W. Bush’s war on Iraq was waged on a bodyguard of lies.
I want the president impeached because he lied to the Congress of the United States.
What happened in Baghdad last month was
not in accordance with international law.
What happened in Baghdad last month was a west Texas lynching. We can’t allow a bunch
of neoconservatives to hijack America. It’s not a right-wing fraternity pin—the American flag,
we own it, the American people. Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to the other face
of patriotism—the people of the United States. The other face of patriotism is the American
citizen who gets up in the morning and carries out the duties and responsibilities of citizenship.
Bush was a deserter from his unit during the Vietnam War.
He doesn’t know what it means to support the troops.”
- Scott Ritter, who sounds like the Bush reelection team’s worse nightmare
Click Here for more
Subject: Steve Earle in Tulsa last Friday Night
You know, Tulsa's not a bad town.
I mean, I had to listen to one cab driver bitch about how he wouldn't pick anyone up on Pine Street,
but I drove around Pine ST. looking for a grocery and at the Albertson's I found, everyone was nice
as can be. Same for the convenience store/gas station I kept going back to.
I don't know if you were there or not -
I assume you weren't since there was no mention on your page today.
But Steve Earle headlined the OK Blues fest Friday night and it was the best I've ever seen him.
He played "Jerusalem", he played "John Walker's
Blues" (which had the Rush wannabes underwear in knots
when it was released last year.) and, after explaining to the crowd that "You all know where I stand on all this
..." he even played "Christmas Time In Washington." And he played "Copperhead Road".
He made NO apologies and he had the crowd
him throughout the show, except for one sorry ass drunk
ditto monkey loudly trying to argue with him from the back of the crowd, it seemed that the people who could
hear the poor slob were only shaking their heads sadly.
I don't know if KMOD is a clear channel
station, (It is 0 they all are...) but their crew came out and
enthusiastically introduced him. (Is there such a thing as a non-suck ass commercial radio station anymore?)
You really should promote this guy on your
site, he's an old fashioned Democratic activist, who publicly states
"it's too late for gun control in the States" in other words, he's also a realist.
It was a rockin good time, in fact the whole fucking festival was!
Hope I can go next year too.
1 Year Anniversary for 'Disinfotainment Today'
Shatner's 'Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds' selected worst Beatles cover ever
Anthony Hopkins to be honored at the Maui Film Festival
Tributes to 'Fatty' Arbuckle's widow and Suzy Parker (Dillman)
"Clinton was frustrated but almost philosophical
about the pseudoscandals. He knew that the Republicans
knew they had been ginned up for political effect -- and the Republicans knew that he knew that they knew.
He related a conversation he had had with Alan Simpson, (R-WY), who was retiring.
Bill Clinton: "You know there's nothing
wrong that Hillary and I did in Whitewater."
Alan Simpson, 'Of course, we all know there's nothing there. It was just politics. And it just got out of hand.'"
--Excerpt from "The Clinton Wars" by Sidney Blumenthal, out in three weeks
A Democrat fights back
Fiction, by Mike Palecek
With his days of protest long past, Joe
Coffee tells his wife, Jane, one day that he’s thinking
about running for Congress. She sets his whim in motion and they get his name on the ballot
in a rural western Iowa district. "Coffee Joe," as he becomes known, speaks out against prisons
and the military and no one takes him seriously at first. But when his campaign begins to resonate
with voters, terrified establishment politicians try to stop him. In a dramatic conclusion, Coffee Joe
becomes a central figure in a hostage crisis involving disgruntled farmers. In an era of war in the
Middle East and a conservative approach to the economy, Joe Coffee’s Revolution provides
a refreshing alternative perspective.
Click Here to order your copy today.
[Palecek is a former federal prisoner, seminarian, reporter, and candidate.]
Also by Mike Palecek: Click Here
Paul Begala: Congressman Hayworth,
you've now shifted the rational to removing a murderous thug
as the purpose of the war. But that's not what our president said. And if the reason was
we have to go to war because Saddam is evil, wasn't he evil when Dick Cheney was
selling him oil field equipment...Wasn't he evil then, Congressman?
J.D. Hayworth: My friend, what is
past is prologue. These are the facts, my friends. We are standing up.
At long last, for the American people, we are standing up for liberation.
Notice how Hayworth didn't answer the question - because he can't.
Bush lied so he could steal that oil,
everybody knows it, but the GOP never has to answer the questions when put to them.
how the rules change
When it's a Republinazi caught with his pants down....
It's A-OK for Bennett and assorted scum
to partake in vices
but GOD FORBID if it were a Democrat doing it.
I have a way for you Nazi apologists to
get worked up about this:
Pretend it was Bill Clinton who gambled away $8 million.
I like the stock page idea.
At first I thought it was ridiculous because we are all democrats and almost by definition
can't afford to buy stocks because all our money is tied up in bills. But after reading your
prospectus, I think the page would be interesting. Where can I learn HTML quick?
I'd be willing to help someone out with
I like to keep up with business/labor stuff, and that would tie in, I think.
Pipe, I learned in about a half hour. It's easy as hell if somebody
If you learn from a book it will be better long run, but it'll take weeks to figure it out.
Subject:Bush's Float Trip
I did some quick checking on the Nimtiz class aircraft carrier
Ship speed 30+ knots
Crew with air wing - approx 5,600
Annual operating budget in PY 96 160,000,000
So that would mean that the ship was a little more than an hour from shore when Bush headed out to it.
If the operating budget for the ship was
the same has in 96 ( doubtful given the combat status and
increased operational costs of everything), the one day float trip for the Prez would have cost the
American Tax payers over $438,356 for that one extra day.
We had a bad link on yesterday's page. It should have read:
"He is George W. Bush. And I think the beauty
of the guy’s presidency is it’s so custom-made for him.
He’s designed a presidency to be him, and I think that’s clear."
--Chris the Screamer, Countdown with Keith Olbermann
Wrong again, Chris.
Bush couldn't design a plan to get a condom over his penis when he raped that 15-year old Houston girl.
bartcop.com regrets the error
Subject: give Neil a chance
I was disappointed too when I found out
about Neil's right wing leanings.
But he has had his moments. The last verse to "Rockin' In The Free World" is a major dig on Bush 1.
We got a thousand points of light...for
the homeless man
got a kinder gentler machine gun hand
got dept. stores and toilet paper
got Styrofoam garbage for the ozone layer
got a man of the people says keep hope alive
got fuel to burn, got roads to drive.
Dave, Neil's a good songwriter, sometimes even great.
I just wish he was with us instead of the Unelected Fraud.
Dole vs Clinton on 60 Minutes
Does Hollywood still think Ozzy Osbourne
is funny, now that he's shipped his underage son off
to drug rehab? America is awash in reality TV. And the reality is it's debasing and degrading.
Mr. President, don't your showbiz pals realize the consequences? They package dysfunctional
people like the Osbournes, giggle at the coarseness and the crimes, and sink lower for higher ratings.
President Clinton, how low can things go?
Hey Bob, ask Jeb Bush. He got a Florida judge to rule that it
was not illegal for his daughter to do crack in rehab.
And let's remember, Jack Osbourne checked himself into rehab - he didn't wait until after three run ins with the law.
Paid for by a bartcop.com reader
"Mr. Novak, you were right when you claim that
most of the people in Hollywood are liberals.
And I am right when I tell you that almost all the people in the tobacco and pollution industry
are Republicans. Now this is my question to you. What would you rather a child grow up in
America to be an actor or a cigarette addict or a polluter?
-- James Carville, winning point after point with Bob Novak
"And now it is May of 2003 and Saddam Hussein is just as alive as Osama bin Laden, the budget for the war
on terror has been cut and shaved and generally abandoned (World Trade Center -- yesterday's news), and
those secret Weapons of Mass Destruction have still not shown up. We have revealed to a breathless world
the secret contracts let to Halliburton and Bechtel before the war even started. Oh, and the thing with Cheney
and Halliburton: just a coincidence. George Shultz and Bechtel: just a coincidence. And it really, really is not
about the oil. Forget the oil. Not about the oil. If we had an opposition party in this nation, someone might
have protested this serial amnesia. But the Democrats have decided that they support our troops, which
apparently means supporting the president, even when he changes his story."
I support the president.
Senator, please resign right now, don't wait until the weekend.
Subject: Flight time to the USS Lincoln
FYI: A Sikorsky VH-60 helicopter (like Bush’s
Marine-1) has a cruising speed of 150 knots
(172.8 statute miles per hours). So, the trip out to the carrier that Ari Fleisher said would take
“hours” in a helicopter would take roughly 13 1/2 minutes plus some take-off and landing time.
In short, the trip would have probably taken less total time than it took to dress the chimp in a flight suit
By the way, an S-3 cruises at 450 knots
so putting him in the S-3 trimmed, at most,
9 minutes off making the trip in Bush’s Blackhawk
So, ...it's like they were lying.
They tell him he's another Top Gun, just like Tom Cruise...
"'Mission accomplished'? I thought the mission
was to find Saddam
and his weapons of mass destruction. Talk about short-term memory."
--Sarah Reich, Crossfire-e-mail
Subject: What do you have against Nancy Grace??
All criminals aren't innocent.
You seems as though you are defending Scott Peterson? Why?
If you take away Laura the Unloved and Lynne Cheney, (Please,
Nancy Grace might be the most opinionated harpy in America.
And it's not that I mind women having strong opinions, but next
time she's on Larry King, get a stop watch
and click it when she starts talking, and then click it again when she guarantees something will happen in the future.
I promise it'll be less than one minute.
She can 't say, "It's my guess the prosecution
will do X," or, "Often times in these
a prosecutor will do Y," no, she'll flat out guarantee the future and you just can't do that unless you
pull your wallet out and lay it on the table to back it up.
It's also VERY hard for me to believe she was a real prosecutor
in a real courtroom. Mrs. Bart did jury duty
a while back, and she says the defendant's lawyer was such a smirking bastard (my words, not hers) that the
jury couldn't wait to punish him by rewarding the plaintiff with a hueueueuge verdict.
If Nancy Grace pulled all that sneering "guarantee" crap with
a real jury, I think they'd let the guy go just to
send a lesson to the state to get her the hell out of the courtroom. I imagine that I-know-everything served her
well on Court TV, but I can't believe she'd act that way in a court where a life hung in the balance.
BTW, anyone know where she was a prosecutor, and more importantly, for how long?
We can disagree on the grate-factor of her better-than-you harpiness and still be good friends.
As I said in the article that you wrote about, I think Petersen's
probably guilty, but I certainly won't guarantee
that like Nancy Grace does. I also said that it's fun to watch Geragos smile and quietly stifle a snicker when Grace
goes into her hystronics (is that a word?). Oh, and when a tequila treehouse comedian in Oklahoma, a guy who's
never seen a shred of evidence against petersen thinks he's guilty, it means very little. It's my best guess (see how
Nancy and I differ?) that Geragos got a whiff of the evidence and told Petersen that he thought he could win this case.
People say since Petersen is broke, Geragos took this for the publicity. That makes no sense. CNN was paying him to
be on Larry King every night that they talked about the case - and he didn't have to do any work but read the paper.
But another factor is Geragos's history. He once looked a good
friend of mine in the eye and said,
"I would be willing to represent you if you want to retain me," when she had "less than no money."
If he's not doing it for the money or the publicity, maybe he
thinks the guy might be innocent, or maybe he
doesn't want to see the Nancy Graces of entertainment TV convict the guy before the evidence is seen..
Sunday's Doonesbury was mostly in French
I was raised (but not reared) Catholic, they taught us Latin
instead of a language people use.
Can anybody translate, ballon by balloon?
Critic Accuses Media of Aiding U.S. War Propaganda
"...MacArthur is not troubled by the thumping patriotism displayed by cable TV news outlets like Fox News,
which leads CNN and MSNBC in viewer ratings. All that means is that Murdoch knows how to run a circus
better than anyone else. War and jingoism always sell. But the real damage was done by the high-brow press,"
MacArthur said. "On the propaganda side, the New York Times is more responsible for making the case for war
than any other newspaper or any other news organization." He blames the Times for giving credence to Bush claims
about the aluminum tubes. And when Bush cited a nonexistent IAEA report on Iraqi nukes, he says, it was the
conservative Washington Times -- not the New York Times or Washington Post -- that wound up refuting the assertion.
We now have some good candidates and are close to a decision,
but there's still a day or two left to get in.
We hope to have an announcement in a day or three. The annoucement will be this week,
because It's going to happen even if I have to take hostages, so stay closely tuned (stay tuned?).
Swear to Koresh, BartCop
Radio is going to be the only nomination in the
when that one web site does their "Webby Awards." By the way, did you know the Webby's are faked?
Yeah, ...they e-mailed us and said we could have one for $140. I told 'em to take a f-ing hike.
I'm trying to launch a damn network, I don't have time to try to "win" some plastic bald man.
So trust me - it won't be long now.
...and it's not to early to get in for the bargain price of $5,
because once we sign the contracts,
the lowest tier may have to go to $6.50 to accomodate my silent and non-voting "partners."
Is worth $10 a month?
You bet your ass.
*I* think it'll be worth $10
bucks a day, because BartCop Radio is going to be exactly
the no-rules show
that I would produce if I had the chance to produce a no-rules radio show, and that day is near.
Pretty soon "talk radio" is going to have a new flavor, and
it won't be vanilla.
Here to get in on the fun.
PayPal now accepts credit cards
Once we start streaming, the download will take only seconds.
Call 918-493-1500 - you have two minutes to rant away.
More Phone Calls tomorrow - I have a bad cable causing static.
Did anything make you mad today?
Tell us about it! 918-493-1500
You MP3 rangers out there?
Thanks for the TONS of soundclips. My hard drive is filing
I'm sure we have 200-300 hundred MP3s, and 40-50 CDRs that haven't been heard yet.
So, for right now, we're doing OK on the bumper music, but can I ask another favor?
I don't know what they're called, (I'm not yet a rookie) but I
need some transition snippets, the ones that say,
"Bart will be right back to open another can of whoop ass of some helpless ditto-monkey," or
"He has a hammer and he's not afraid to use it - Bart will be back after this," or
"I pity the fool who brings up 'Somalia' when Bart's in the house," ...stuff like that.
I got a great one from Mike Parker, but we're going to be doing
a lot of shows
and even great clips will get old quick, so I need fresh voices and fresh smart-ass-isms.
Send your batches of snappy whatever-those-are-called to
Can you help an old altar boy out?
I can't do this without help.
Subject: unexploded bombs? seriously?
You dont know how those can hurt people?
Kelly, years ago a famous Nazi whore said, "Words
I guess an unexploded bomb made with uranium could harm people, over time,
but by definition, an unexploded bamb can't hurt you unless it falls on you.
Use this portal and they'll throw bartcop.com four cents.