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Volume 1169 - Here's the cabbage

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 Weekend    October 4-5, 2003


"The Bush operation reminds me of North Korea. You have a group of insanely loyal, fiercely
  committed lunatics, devoting their lives to slavish devotion of a moron whose only claim to power
  is that his father used to run the country. George W. Bush is Kim Jong II with better hair."
         -- Paul Begala

 Traitor Given Deadline - Tuesday 

  Click  Here

 From top advisers to junior staff, nearly 2,000 White House employees were ordered to
 come forward by Tuesday with any documents that might help the criminal investigation
 into the leak of an undercover CIA officer's identity.

 Friday's document brought home the gravity of the investigation to all of Bush's staff and touched
 every corner of the White House, from the Oil Man and Vice Oil man to the East Wing offices of
 the first lady, as well as the Eisenhower Executive Office Building and beyond.

 Employees are required to sign a memo certifying either that they have produced relevant documents
 or have no such documents. The deadline is 5 p.m. Tuesday. The order covers materials such as
 electronic records, telephone logs, correspondence, computer records, notes and calendar entries. .

 So what happens Tuesday when nothing shows up?
 I'll bet they declare it "over and done with, time to move on."


"I think that if you are the leader of planet Earth, you should be smarter than me.
  You just get the feeling, don't you, in the Oval Office that Cheney is working behind the big desk.
  And then off to the right there is a little collapsible card table where George has like airplanes and stuff.
 Then every once in a while he looks up and says, 'I've discovered that if I shut my eyes, I can disappear."
    - Darrel Hammond

 "I really can disappear, ...want to see me?"

 Report: Druggie Rush hires Roy Black 

  Click  Here

 WPTV, a TV station in West Palm Beach, Fla., reported that Limbaugh has hired Roy Black.
 Black's high-profile clients have included William Kennedy Smith, who was acquitted of raping
 a woman at the Kennedy family's compound in 1991.   Black declined to confirm the report.

 Don't I remember back in 1991, Rush said something like,
"The Kennedy's know he's guilty, why else would they hire Roy Black?

Click to Order

 Illusionist 'Roy' Condition Grim After Tiger Attack in Las Vegas

  Click  Here

 Illusionist Roy Horn, who with partner Siegfried Fischbacher parlayed big-production magic and disappearing
 white tigers into one of the most successful and longest-running shows on the Las Vegas Strip, remained in
 critical condition Saturday after being attacked on stage by one of the show's veteran animals.

 Friday's attack occurred about 45 minutes into the pair's 7:30 p.m. performance, when Horn stood alone
 on the huge stage and introduced Montecore, a 7-year-old Royal White Siberian tiger.

 Horn instructed the tiger to lay down but, this time, the animal balked. Horn tapped the animal on its nose
 with his microphone, a training technique to get the cat's attention, and Montecore grabbed the illusionist's arm.
 As Horn stumbled, the 550-pound animal lunged at his neck, knocked him to the ground and pulled him off the stage.

 Horn, who turned 59 on Friday, suffered a major loss of blood that paramedics struggled to staunch with
 direct pressure on his neck -- first aid that also exacerbated problems Horn had with breathing.
 Horn's condition showed no improvement Saturday after surgery to repair a severe bite to his neck.

 Roy's been handling animals since the late fifties - and he's never had a problem like this.
 The reason their show is/was so great is because you just can't train a cat.

 I have no ties to Siegfried & Roy, never even saw their show, but whenever we were close to the Mirage,
 Mrs Bart always liked to go see the white tigers.   They've meant a lot to Las Vegas - since 1970.
 It would be really nice to win this one.  Losing Roy would forever mark The Mirage, and it could change
 the whole town. Don't want that.  It could also change the way we see animal acts.  Don't want that, either.
 Roy beat the odds for 44 years, let's hope he can beat them for 45.

 Roy Stable Two Days After

  Click  Here

 Horn spokesman David Kirvin said Horn's condition had not changed from this time on Saturday.
"I think time is a good thing," Kirvin said, saying his survival after more than 36 hours was a "positive" sign.
"The last place Roy would place blame would be with the animal," said Bernie Yuman, manager for "Siegfried and Roy."

 Governor Gang Bang will cost CA $9B 
  As seen on

  Click  Here

 While Bustamante's kicking Enron butt in court, the Davis Administration is simultaneously
 demanding that George Bush's energy regulators order the $9 billion refund.

 Don't hold your breath:  Bush's Federal Energy Regulatory Commission
 is headed by a guy proposed by Ken Lay.

 I don't know muich about CA's budget problems, but logic says if they had back
 the $36B Enron and the White House stole from them, they'd have a siurplus.

 How do we know this wasn't all manages by the White House?
 Remember, Enron was buying Ca's fresh water rights.
 They always had it in for Cali-fornia - for voting for Gore.

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 Subject: Rush not sure what he didn't do

 Friday, Rush said on his radio show:

"The story in Florida is - it really is - an emerging situation. I watched what's being reported on television,
 and it changes from morning to morning, hour to hour, day to day. I don't yet know what I'm dealing with there, folks."

 Apparently, he has been gobbling so many pills, he won't know what he did until the television tells him.
 Then, he'll try to figure out some way to explain it.  Until then, he doesn't know what he's dealing with.

 In other words, he can't start lying to save his ass, until he knows what part of his ass needs saving.
 Hey, Rush, it's the whole ass.  Start now, and spread it thick.

 Ricky Z

 Violence flares in Israel

  Don't Click  Here

  No need for an excerpt:

 One side hit first, then the  other side retaliated, causing another volley of retaliation
 from the first side, which was met with a repeat volley of retaliation from the other side.

 It just keeps on, like a bad Star Trek episode.

 Subject: Rush's drug crimes

 I know your birthday was several weeks ago, but happy belated birthday present.

 ha ha

 Please don't be like the other progressives.
 I mean, I'm reading  people saying that Rush is a human being and we should pray for him to get well..
 Fuck that.  I say PILE ON!!
 Sometimes I think progressives will never get one up on on the  repugnantcans.

 Could you imagine what the flying monkey right would be doing if Malloy was caught doing a 100 oxycontin pills a day?
 ALL liberals would be tarred with the same brush.
 When the Rush-drug bust broke, the first thing I  thought was "I can't  wait to hear what Bart has to say about this."


 BartCop Radio Show 14B is done, it just needs some tweaking.

 I'm going to either lose a lot of readers/subscribers or gain a lot,
 because Rush takes a beating in 14B that no human being should ever have to take.
 It's certainly farther than I've ever gone before.

 "Piling on" is much too nice a description for the beating he takes from Ol' Bart.
 He is not a human being - but you may feel sorry for him after you hear 14B.

 It'll be up no matter what Sunday.
 Thanks for stickin'

See Rush for all your Hilbilly Heroin needs.

 Sunday morning, the Republicans are moaning that it's so awful for the Democrats
 to manufacture these last-minute groping attacks against Governor Gang Bang.

 Hey, it's not like this has been a nine-month campaign, and now at the last minute, they spring
 this last-minut, October Surprise eon the voters. It seems to me that one reason Arnie played
 cat-and-mouse with his short candidacy was to minimize the number of women coming forward.

 Will maria be sporting a new, 4 carat diamind on her hand next week?
 Is that her reward for sticking with The Austrian Mauler for the suration of the campaign?

 They say he's going to win, no matter what.
 Like with the Illegal Fraud, it's great for comedians but bad for the country.
 Cali-fornia is about to install an ignorant Bush puppet who doesn't know what he's doing.
 An ignorant Bush puppet caused all their trouble, and they're asking for more?

 4 More Women Go Public Against Schwarzenegger

  Click  Here

 Four more women have come forward to say that Arnold Schwarzenegger fondled, spanked
 or touched them in incidents they said took place as recently as 2000 and as long ago as 1979.

 In all, 15 women have now accused the Republican candidate for governor of grabbing or groping them.
 Schwarzenegger denounced as a "puke campaign" news reports that he has behaved abusively toward women.

 Gee, that sounds a lot like, "I can't comment until I fully understand the scope of these accusations."
 I assume Arnie won't "understand the scope" until after Tuesday's election...

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 Great Bush-traitor Photo-toon collage

  Click  Here


 Sen. Edward Kennedy to Receive Bush Award

  Click  Here

 Ted Kennedy will receive the 2003 George Bush Award for Excellence in Public Service.
 That would be George Herbert Herbert Bush, the current Resident's father.

 The award will be presented to ted at a dinner ceremony Nov. 7
 following a speech by Kennedy at Texas A&M University.
 Former President Bush will present the award.

 Kennedy has been one of George W. Bush's harshest critics over the Iraq war.
 Former President Bush has sole discretion on who receives the award,
 said Penrod Thornton of the George Bush Presidential Library Foundation.

"It was more about ... contributions of the individuals and it didn't have anything to do
 with the fact that we need Teddy to shut the fuck up for the next 13 months,"
 Thornton told the Bryan-College Station Eagle for its Saturday editions.

 This sounds like it's an already-done deal, but if Ted Kennedy accepts this award,
  to me it means all that he said about Iraq being "a fake war dreamed up in Texas,"
 was just some kind of sick handjob for the Democrats to use a s salve.

 Don't do it, Ted.
 Tell the B.F.E.E. to take a long f-ing hike.

 What's next, Ted?
 You're invited to the B.F.E.E. Bar-B-Q where they offer you a chair at the Carlyle Group?
 And all you have to do is sign off on Patriot Act II and III?

 I was proud of you last week when you stood up like a man and told the truth about Bush.
 But now Poppy's gonna give you a gold-plated nickname and you're going to accept it?

 They're offering you $24 for the Island of Manhattan, Ted.
 Don't do it.

Click to see a fun flash movie


"Arnold said he was never a fan of Hitler. And today,
  Pat Buchanan said, "Well thats it, hes lost my vote.
    -- Leno, with a lame joke

 "What's wrong with admiring Grandad's partner?"


 Hi!  Tom and I caught Lewis Black and Dave Attell in Ann Arbor, Mi in 10/4.
 The show was sold out and these guys were fuckin hilarious!  We were fortunate
 enough to meet them after the show, they signed autographs until about 2 am.

 I've attatched 2 pics of Tom G. from MI with each of them.
 They both seemed interested in the website and kept their stickers.
 Hopefully we have Octobers' winners right here!!!  <wink, wink>.
 Hope all is well with you and keep on rockin' the truth!

 Allyson from Ohio  (roulette queen)
 (Allyson won the big roulette spin at Bartfest Vegas 2002)

 Allyon, thanks to you and Tom!  Those are great pictures.
 I'm more familiar with Lewis Black (The Daily Show) and he's one of my favorites.

 ESPN's personal foul
  The vulgar Pigboy was a stupid move on their part

  Click  Here  for USA Today's superior version.

  Click  Here  for the copy I kept for when Karl Rove makes USA Today take it down.

 Of course, accusing Rush Limbaugh of acting like Rush Limbaugh makes little sense. His comments Sunday
 were a somewhat sanitized version of the same offensive shtick he has peddled on radio for 15 years.
 Perhaps ESPN was blinded by the big ratings promised by Limbaugh's undeniable fan base.
 Last Sunday's audience of 2.1 million households was the show's biggest in seven years.

 That would explain why ESPN waited until late Wednesday to condemn the remarks.
 By then, the network had received thousands of calls and e-mails, most negative.

"But the vulgar Pigboy is a national treasure..."

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"Its Friday, its a big day for President Clinton.
  Wesley Clark is doing well in the polls and Halle Barry is now single.
          -- Dave

Marty's Entertainment Page
Special Bonus Disinfotainment today - 'Arnold Unplugged'
Reader review of 'Bend It Like Beckham'
'Jesse Ventura's America' debuted on MSGOP
Hong Kong's own 'Walk O'Fame'
'Lump in the Bed' hosts a weekend book festival
Mice to be used to test food
And a bunch of links

 Pigboy: 'Trust me'

"I am God to the little people."

  Click  Here

 The purported pill-popping pundit Pigboy returned to the air with a message for his loyal listeners: "Just trust me on this."
 Limbaugh did not deny that Florida police were investigating whether he bought thousands of black-market painkillers.

 The bastard - who regularly ripped into Clinton for parsing his words - took a Clintonesque approach
 to reports that he illegally bought massive amounts of "hillbilly heroin" tablets and other illegal narcotics.

"I'm not even going to characterize this on how you should look at this in the press," said Limbaugh, who claimed
 he got more than 35,000 supportive E-mails. "I'm going to come clean when I get all the facts and details."

.Wilma Cline wore a wire for Florida prosecutors and told of meeting him at Denny's parking lots to pass him cigar boxes
 filled with pills. In return, he gave her cigar boxes stuffed with money with the coded comment, "Here's the cabbage," he'd say.

 New reports say Rush paid his housekeeper Wilma the 80,000 that he owed her,
 then paid her another $120,000 on top of that with the understanding that she'd remain silent.

 Isn't that conspiracy to obstruct justice?

 From what I know about the law - I think it is.

 Any Florida (or others) attorney's who could straighten this out?
 We can leave your name out of it.

 Info about Arnold, Nazi's, the GOP and the BFEE
 Including Arnold's famous "Nazi salute" picture

 "I admire Hitler for being such a good
   public speaker and for what he did with it.""

  Click  Here

 Schwarzenegger has never repudiated his support for Waldheim. Much of the program examines the networking
 of Bush family ally and investment adviser Allen Dulles and personalities (including Ronald Reagan, Richard Nixon,
 George H.W. Bush and William Casey) that were to become luminaries in the Republican hierarchy. All of these men
 were involved with the Crusade for Freedom, an illegal CIA/State Department operation in which Nazi and fascist war
 criminals were brought into the US for political purposes. Many eventually coalesced into the Republic ethnic outreach
 organization. The key words and concepts to understand in the context of this broadcast are networking, oligarchy,
 hierarchy. Is Schwarzenegger associated with the Underground Reich? Was his ascension realized through the
 networking of elements of the American power elite with the Underground Reich?

Click to order and
for more information

 How Do They Pick a Pope?
  Surpringly, it's a lot like CBS's Survivor Pearl Islands

  Click  Here

 Fifteen to 20 days after the pope's death, the cardinals will convene in the Sistine Chapel, in a secret
 meeting known as the conclave. There, they'll be handed strips of paper emblazoned with the Latin words
 "Eligo in summum pontificem" - 'I elect as supreme pontiff.'   Each cardinal will write down the name
 of the fellow cardinal he'd most like to see elevated to pope and folds the ballot and places it in a chalice.

 Then Jeff Probst reads the winner and God appears and give thew new Pope his Holy Staff.

 Fiscal Doomsday in the Offing
   by David Broder, less whore than some

  Click  Here

 Maybe all the others are wrong. Maybe those in the Bush administration who claim we can grow our way
 out of these big budget deficits if we just keep cutting taxes to stimulate the economy know something no
 one else grasps. But if I had to bet my grandchildren's future prosperity on anyone, I would not bet that way.

 [The] numbers are incomprehensible. But a better sense of their meaning comes when the groups say that if
 current policies remain, balancing the budget by 2013 will require raising individual and corporate income
 taxes by 27 percent, cutting Social Security by 60 percent, cutting defense by 73 percent or cutting all
 programs -- except defense, homeland security, Social Security and Medicare -- by 40 percent.

 It's unpatriotic to say Der Fuhrer's math doesn't add up.

 Rush Limbaugh revealed

  Click  Here

 Putting Rush  TV and expecting him to do no damage was like letting a grizzly bear into your pantry
 and expecting the doughnuts to survive. He has called Hillary Clinton a murderer, Tom Daschle the devil,
 and idly wondered why all post-office mug shots look like Jesse Jackson, with no regulation or retribution.

 The reason that mudslinging works on the radio is simple: On the radio, Limbaugh is speaking to the dittoheads,
 the disciples who swallow everything. On TV, Limbaugh has to address the population as a whole.

 Rush Limbaugh crawled out of his bunker and put himself before TV lights,
 and everybody got a good look. For a month anyway.

 Subject: Botulism in the refrigerator?

 So let's see, after millions of american tax dollars, we've found one vial of live botuli bacteria in Iraq.

 It was stored in a scientist's family refrigerator since the early 90's.
 That's it?
 That's why we went to war?

 Koresh, they were probably going to turn it into botox for Hussein's makeover.
 We went to war to prevent Hussein from getting a makeover?
 That makes sense, doesn't it?


 Mick according to the networks, the cable channels, talk radio and the newspapers - it does.
 Hey, could somebody explain again how much the military hated serving under President Clinton
 because they all came home to their wives and raised families and lived happily ever after?

 October sticker placement contest!

 How to win:

 To get your stickers, send a self-addressed envelope to:
 PO Box 54466
 Tulsa, OK 74155
 OR, you could PayPal a small donation and get your stickers within 48 hours.

 The stickers are free, but donations are accepted.

 Get yours, then send in a digital photo of where you put it.
 (Please don't vandalize anything with these stickers)
 Click  Here   for the best September stickers

 We need a different calendar for October - any suggestions?


"Courtney Love overdosed on drugs and was arrested the other night.
  The police knew Courtney was high because she said shed vote for Gray Davis.
    -- Kilborn

 Rush Limbaugh Hearing Loss Timeline 

  Click  Here

 July 30, 2001 International Adhesions Society mailing list: Re: OxyContin:
 Rush Limbaugh talked about OxyContin (hillbilly heroin) at length today--maybe an hour of his 3-hour show.
 The talk was mostly about the abusers of the drug, and that it was a shame that the abuse
 affected people who really need it.

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"Arnold said that this is a last-minute attack by Democrats,
   but how did Arnold know to grope only Democrats?

 Subject: About the Marc Rich pardon

 Bill Clinton pardoned financier Marc Rich.   The question to ask is "How many people did Marc Rich kill?"
 Answer: "Zero."

 Next question: "How many people died because of Iran/Contra (some pardoned by Poppy Bush)?"
 Answer: "Plenty!"
 That includes an archbishop, nuns, and priests, if memory serves me right.
 Christians killed in the name of Christianity? Shameful!


 Plus, how many died when the Unqualified Idiot started a war for no damn reason?
 205 brave Americans, with 1400 maimed, and perhaps 10,000 Iraqi dead.

 ...but Clinton had a "scandal-plagued" administration - just ask a member of the press.

Sally left us without knowing
how famous she'd become.

 Joe Conason's Journal

  Click  Here

 This morning I was talking with a friend about the latest misfortunes to befall the White House political team,
 their pal Rush Limbaugh, and their pawn Arnold Schwarzenegger. "When bad things happen to bad people,"
 he cracked -- and I must admit I laughed. The grotesquely boorish Arnold, the dirty-trickster Karl, the demagogic
 and apparently drug-dependent Rush (a name that now sounds grimly appropriate) have all brought their new
 troubles on themselves. Ignore all the whining about how they're being picked on by the media, and remember
 that these conservatives, particularly Rush, have always mocked the "culture of victimization" that shifts blame for
 personal failings. Like Bill "Snake Eyes" Bennett, the moralizing, compassion-free Limbaugh is hoisted on his own petard.

 The Capped Crusader
  The Guardian talks to Michael Moore

  Click  Here

 For Moore, this is not just a personal achievement, but a political triumph. "Only that British woman, JK Rowling,
 has sold more books than me this year," he says gleefully. "Think about that. It's Harry Potter and it's Michael Moore.
 In fiction it's her and in non-fiction it's me. So the American public, during a time when everyone was supposedly
 rallying behind George Bush, was buying something called Stupid White Men, which essentially trashes George Bush."
 His detractors have branded his work "Chomsky for children", but my guess is that he would consider that a compliment.
 Chomsky reaches thousands, maybe tens of thousands. Moore reaches millions, maybe tens of millions.

 Insane Religio-Bastard Mocks Matthew Shepperd
 "God Hates Fags" asshole wants monument to slain gay man's entrance into Hell

  Click  Here

 Rev. Fred Phelps said the monument would be made of marble or granite, with a heavy bronze plaque bearing
 the face of Matthew Shepard and an inscription reading "MATTHEW SHEPARD, Entered Hell October 12, 1998."

 Is having a reverand bitch-slapped into unconsciousness for money a crime in Wyoming?
 If it is, I was just kidding. If it's not, let's start the collection.

 Where are the "good and decent" men of the cloth?
 Why aren't they condemning this son of a bitch in the strongest terms?
 Bush, Ashcroft are typically silent on this outrage because "They're just fags."

La Cucaracha by Lalo Alcaraz

 Win One for the Groper
  Dragon Lady sees a chance to attack Hillary

  Click  Here

 Feminism died in 1998 when Hillary allowed henchlings and Democrats to demonize Monica as an
 unbalanced stalker, and when Gloria Steinem defended Mr. Clinton against Kathleen Willey and Paula
 Jones by saying he had merely made clumsy passes, then accepted rejection, so there was no sexual
 harassment involved. As to his dallying with an emotionally immature 21-year-old, Steinem noted,
 "Welcome sexual behavior is about as relevant to sexual harassment as borrowing a car is to stealing one."

 Monica was an unbalanced stalker.
 She threatened the president because he refused to screw her.
 None of these Arnold complaintants are saying he refused to have sex with them.
 Maureen, you're still on Bush's payroll, aren't you?.

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 Bush's American soldier body count in Iraq
 Last issue it was  318,  ....this issue it's  320 They got TWO MORE of our boys, just since yesterday.

 Soon, we'll be at 400.
 How long before we hit 600?
 How long before we hit 1000?

 Total deaths since President Frog-blaster said, "Bring 'em On":  113 115

Over 1,400 wounded - with many missing arms, legs and eyes.
 How much more are we willing to tolerate?


Something on your mind?
 Call the

You have two minutes to speak your peace.


 Sam Dent has agreed to take over the day-to-day duties of forwarding important mail,
 helping those locked out of the members section to get in, and various dealings with outsiders.

 So if you have something important, something, that can't wait, send it to Sam at
 She has my phone numbers and can reach me right away.

 Can't get in the members section?

 Click  Here  to reach Sam at her new address.

 You might even drop her a line just to say "Hey."

 Have a good time today - that's just a suggestion...

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                                                        Krugman  ......      H Clinton                     Franken           ...   Conason                  M Moore


 Read the Previous Issue

 It had  everything.

 Copyright © 2003,

 Shrl, call  The BartPhone,  just to say "Hi!"
 Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!

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