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Volume 1171 - Cali-fornia goes BFEE?

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 Tuesday    October 7, 2003


"It will be unfortunate if it turns out that intelligence used to justify
  the war in Iraq turns out to have been seriously flawed."
    -- Rumsfeld, with a straight face!!!!!!    Attribution

 It's not "unfortunate," it's goddamn criminal.
 You murdered 10,000 people on what you NOW claim was"bad" information.
 You decided on 9/11/01 that this was your ticket to steal that oil and you took it.

 You're lucky the scared-bunny Democrats don't have the balls to call you on your crimes.

            Crimes?   What crimes?  We love our president!

 Bush calls Plame leak 'criminal action' 
  Most expect leaker will get the Osama, Saddam, Anthrax man 'punishment'

  Click  Here

 The boy presidentush said he hoped that the FBI-led criminal probe into who leaked a CIA
 agent's identity would help plug other unauthorized disclosures to reporters.

"This is a serious charge, by the way. We're talking about a criminal action," Bush joked.
"But also hopefully we'll help send a clear signal we expect other leaks to stop as well," he said.

 Usurper, please!
 That's why you guys leaked her name in the first place - to warn other leakers.
 You'll talk a good game, as always, but you'll secretly give a medal to this leaker, Mr Rove.



"For at least 10 years David Kay, head of the Iraq Survey Group, has staked his professional and
  business reputation on the case that Iraq was a serious threat. He was a frequent pundit on US
  television shows, making the case for regime change in blunt language. He called the attempt by
  Kofi Annan, the UN Secretary General, to broker an effective inspections process in 1998
 "worse than useless"; claimed in 2002 that Iraq was pursuing its weapons of mass destruction in
  order to bring about the elimination of the state of Israel; and said before entering Iraq that the
  Coalition would find not just a "smoking gun", but a "smoking arsenal". Until October last year,
  Mr Kay was VP a major San Diego-based defence contractor, Science Applications International
  Corporation (SAIC), co-ordinating its homeland security and counter-terrorism initiatives. It was
  while he held this role that he claimed that Iraq could launch terrorist attacks on the US mainland...
  It is not known if Mr Kay retains financial interests in SAIC."
     --Glen Rangwala, Kay's link to arms industry

 "Kay's on our team and knows how to make a buck - what's wrong with that?"

 Sen. Nickles (R-Scourge) Will Not Seek Re-Election 

  Click  Here

"Oklahoma Senator Don Nickles's two faces have decioded not to run again.
 Nickles has told close friends he intends to take his bribes and step down.

 When Trent Lott (R-KKK) became embroiled in his stupid racist controversy,
 Nickles was the first back-stabbing Republican to suggest he might have to be ousted.

 But the move -- seen by some as an attempt to vault into Lott's job -- may have cost him
 his final shot at the top spot, which eventually went to Bill Frist (R-CatKiller) of Tennessee..

 Party officials, in an effort to retain control of the closely divided Senate, had long sought to convince
 Nickles to seek a fifth term.  But a party source expressed confidence that even if Nickles did not run,
 Republicans would be able to retain his seat, noting Oklahoma is seen as a conservative state.

 ha ha

 Oklahoma puts the "fun" in "fundamentalist handjob."
 What other state elects snake handlers to the senate?

 "Call me Pissquik!"

 Too bad it wasn't that prick Inhofe (R-Pissquik) instead.
 With Helms dead, Inhofe is the biggest asshole in the entire senate.

>Now with working link<

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"We can't even get black coaches in the NFL.
  Do you really think we're going to have a black president?"
     -- Charles Barkley, Bill Maher's show

 Subject: yesterday's Marvin Bush story

 the marvin bush babysitter story...I was just thinking...

 the story says:

> "...pinning her between the vehicle and an outbuilding on the property."

 then is says:

>"...After pinning Champagne, Young said, the car continued rolling toward Fort Hunt Road,
> near the intersection of Edgehill Drive. "  So, are they saying that the car smashed into a building
> and she got pinned in between. then the car backed itself up and continued on down the  road!!??

 Either the person who wrote that article is an idiot, or there's more to this story.

 S Dent

 Most times, it's the idiot reporter and his never-learned-to-read editor,
 working for the we-don't-care-if-we-get-it-right newspaper looking for bigger profits.

 But with the B.F.E.E. in bed with the CIA, you never can tell about these things...

 From: Robert Irwin

 Subject: liberal bias

 Rather than an objective view of the media I find your lists an endorsement of liberal minded
 commentators and a condemnation of conservatives. If there is no liberal bias to many mainstream
 media outlets then why is the lead story so often violence in Iraq, not progress being made there?

 Because men are dying at a rate not seen since Vietnam.
 Your side has been screaming about the "Somalia atrocity" because Bush sent 18 men to their deaths,
 yet when 315 brave men die for Bush's greedy oil scheme, you think the media should bury that?

 If there is no liberal bias to media then why are unfounded anonymous allegations against Schwarzenegger
 flashed across the screen as headlines when similar allegations against Clinton were buried or reported as
 unproven and anonymous.

 ha ha

 Yeah, the press buried every Clinton story - we never heard anything about Clinton's sex life, did we?
 The biggest problem with reporting the Groper's attacks is there's not enough time for them all to come forward.
 Arnie could only run in a super-short, no-primary campaign because of his past attacks on women.

 You sir are just another liberal outraged at the fact  conservatives have a voice at all.

 Robert Irwin
 Austin, TX

 I feel sorry for your side - Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity, Eva Von Zahn, The Beltway Boys,  Brit Hume, Tony Snow,
 Juan Williams, Mara Liason, John McLaughlin, Chris the Screamer, Dick Morris, G. Gordon Liddy, Laura the Whore,
 Michael Medved, Sam and Cokie, George (Judas Maximus) Steffi, George Will, Bob Scheiffer, Tim the Catholic,
 John Hockenberry, Ollie North, Robert Novak, Paul Weyrich,  Brian Williams, Wolf the Whore, Bill Schneider,
 Candy Crowley, John Stossel, Howie Kurtz, Ann Coulter, Laura Ingraham, Peggy Noonan, Andrew Sullivan
 William Safire and the networks can't get a word in edgewise because Eleanor Clift is 1/5 of the McLaughlin Group.

 It must be frustrating, not being able to drown out Eleanor.

 One of these days, somebody with a website/reputation will stumble into this trap and take my dare.
 One day, someone with a presence will call my "bluff," and we'll get to do the full Number Six on them.
 So far, they've been very careful to avoid taking that chance, but someday, the snare will get one.

Please visit our sponsors

 Young Republicans terrorize Las Vegas
  Nine KKK wannabes indicted for attempted murder and battery with a deadly weapon

  Click  Here

  Police say dozens of well-to-do northwest Las Vegas teens are part of a gang called the 311 Boyz
 that has carried out multiple assaults, some of which have been videotaped. Most of the suspects are
 students or former students at Centennial High School. Nine have been indicted on 13 felonies each,
 including attempted murder and battery with use of a deadly weapon.

 The police summary of the gang says 311 is a reference to the Ku Klux Klan because K is the 11th
 letter of the alphabet. The group's unifying symbol is the iron cross, it says.

 Many of these snotty-rich GOP idiots videotaped their attempted murders
 Guess what Exhibit One is at their trials?


"Bush and his crew are looking desperate as the Iraq occupation becomes more of a problem.
  Even Republicans on Capitol Hill are restless over his $87 billion budget request for Iraq.
  People are questioning Bush's credibility over Iraq. They should"
      -- Paul Harris in the Nation,    Bush under fire

 You watch - if Bush is impeached, it'll be by Republicans.
 The Democrats are too afraid to anger Mr. Rove.

 Subject: Double standard?

 Dusty Baker vs. vulgar pigboy
 I'm no fan of the pig boy, but neither am I a fan of double standards.

 Dusty Baker said black and latino ball players were better in hot weather.
 If a white manager were to say white players were better in cold there would have been a firestrom.
 Why are minorities given a pass when they make racists remarks and whites are not?


 Mike, it's easy - because Dusty Baker didn't make hundreds of millions of dollars by holding up
 a certain American minority to be ridiculed as being stupid, unable to learn, sex-crazed and lazy.

 Not only that, but when Rush ridicules African Americans, he giggles and lets others know that
 it's OK to reject and humiliate blacks, and it's especially fun if you giggle while degrading them.
 That's what he means by "Having more fun than a human being should be allowed to have."

 Rush isn't into a frank discussion of how to heal the racial rift to make America a better place.
 Rush is about pointing out how niggers are too lazy and stupid to learn, so why f-ing bother with them?
 They're just porch monkeys for the scared white millionaires to reject at hiring time. <giggles>

 You bet your ass there's a double standard.
 If Magic Johnson says, "Michael Jordan? That nigger can fly," that's one thing.
 If Rush says, "Niggers are just sex-crazed, fried chicken monkeys," it's not the same.

 Bottom line - Dusty was stating an opinion with no alterior motive. When the vulgar Pigboy spews his Nazi hate,
 it's to let the white-power freaks know he's on their side so they'll make him richer, and that's his only concern..

 Don't for a second think Rush is innocent.
 He's extremely proud to be America's premier race-baiter - just ask his $300M wallet.

See Rush for all your Hilbilly Heroin needs.

 Yes, Bush lied
  Confession found on  of all places

  Click  Here   for the how-did-this-happen on version

  Click  Here  for the we'll-still-have-a-copy when discovers they printed the truth

 A year ago, on Oct. 1, one of the most important documents in history was couriered to the White House.

 The 90-page, top-secret report, drafted by the National Intelligence Council at Langley, included an executive
 summary known as the "key judgments." It summed up the findings of the U.S. intelligence community regarding
 the threat posed by Iraq, findings the president says formed the foundation for his decision to preemptively invade
 Iraq without provocation. The report "was good, sound intelligence," Bush has remarked.

 Most of it deals with alleged weapons of mass destruction.

 But page 4 of the report, called the National Intelligence Estimate, deals with terrorism, and draws conclusions
 that would come as a shock to most Americans, judging from recent polls on Iraq. The CIA, Defense Intelligence
 Agency and the other U.S. spy agencies unanimously agreed that Baghdad:

had not sponsored past terrorist attacks against America,

was not operating in concert with al-Qaida,

and was not a terrorist threat to America.

"We have no specific intelligence information that Saddam has directed attacks against U.S. territory," the report stated.

 The president misrepresented the conclusions of his own secret intelligence report.  If that's not lying, I don't know what is.
That's inexcusable, and Bush supporters with any intellectual honesty and concern for their own families' safety
should be mad as hell about it – and that's coming from someone who voted for Bush. .

 The most shocking part is - why would allow the truth on their web site?
 Were they purchased by a reputable company over the weekend?

Click to see a fun flash movie


"As long as we have American forces here we'll be taking casualties in some form or another.
  And we should not be surprised if some morning we wake up after the coalition has had a
  significant engagement where tens of American soldiers or coalition soldiers have been killed.
  There is a price that is incurred when you encounter terrorism.
     --Lt. Gen. Ricardo Sanchez, leader of "coalition" forces in Iraq Attribution

  If you were going after bin Laden, or Al Qaeda, this would be different.
  All you're doing is securing Iraq's oil fields for the B.F.E.E. and that makes this war wrong.

 "bin Laden who?..."

 What's really in 'Pumping Iron?'

  Click  Here

 It's unlikely that anyone will ever know for sure what Arnold Schwarzenegger had to say about Adolf Hitler
 since the actor bought the rights to "Pumping Iron" and all the outtakes from the 1977 film--and the July 1991
 purchase agreement stipulated that Schwarzenegger can destroy the footage if he chooses. Below you'll find
 excerpts from the 57-page sale document. The $1.25 million agreement between Schwarzenegger and
"Pumping Iron" director George Butler allowed the star to "destroy any and all portion thereof" of the film
 and 90 hours of additional footage.

 What's in the "Pumping Iron" outtakes that Arnold doesn't want us to see or hear?
 Was he going on about Hitler and raping women with a gang of musclehead friends?

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 Bill Maher defends Rush

  Click  Here

 Rush Limbaugh isn't the big, fat idiot. He wasn't implying that we'd all be better off if society were segregated,
 as Trent Lott did, or that blacks don't possess the "necesseties" to be baseball managers, as Al Campanis did.
 He was simply suggesting that some sportscasters, recognizing a historic glass ceiling for African-American
 quarterbacks, may have been practicing a kind of "accolades affirmative action."

 But, as we all know, in this country, when anybody makes anyone uncomfortable ever, they must lose their job.

 See Dusty Baker reply.
 If Maher wants to compare himself to the vulgar Pigboy, that's an extremely idiotic, pointless and self-defeating
 evil that Maher chooses to bring down on himself by himself, but I won't stand in his way.

 If Bill Maher doesn't know the difference between him and Rush, I can't help him.

Marty's Entertainment Page
'Disinfotainment Today' by Michael Dare
The Wall Street poet
Elton John - not a Dennis Miller fan (Who is?)
Jai Redmond's life-size Gitmo
Ozzy & Kelly Osbourne & 'Changes'
Hate radio hosts suspended
And a baby green sea turtle

Click to visit anti-morons site


"My son-in-law is a member of the Missouri National Guard, currently stationed in Baghdad...
  Morale among my son-in-law's unit, already low, has plummeted even further. When he was first
  deployed, he was apprehensive but willing, as he said, "to serve my country." He no longer believes
  what he is doing is serving his country in any way. "We just patrol and do guard duty," he says.
"We're walking targets." These men feel that they are viewed by the Bush administration as
  expendable bodies. "Bring 'em on," says our president. Lie to them, mislead them--no big deal.
  One or two killed each day--no big deal. Is there any hope the Bush administration would surrender
  control of Iraq to an international force and take some pressure off our incredibly thin forces?
  Not a chance. That would mean American corporations would not be first in line for the lucrative
  contracts to rebuild Iraq--if that time ever comes. My son-in-law's first child is due to be born Jan. 3.
  Obviously he will not be here for the birth, a fact that matters only to us, his family."
     --Catherine Hightower, Voice of the People (Letter)

'Straight Ralk Radio' combats 'gay' agenda
  If it's insane homophobia, must've seen it on

  Click  Here

 A ministry combating the homosexual agenda has begun producing daily radio
 commentaries entitled "Straight Talk Radio."

 Stephen Bennett, an ex-homosexual and head of Stephen Bennett Ministries,
 hopes to educate listeners about the goals of the homosexual community
 through the one-minute commentaries.

 ha ha
 This "formerly" gay fella may have found the perfect niche.
 He's going to take these rubes for mega-millions with his "I was gay, but now I ain't," "ministry."

 [This] commentary, entitled "Christian Eye for the Queer Guy," was a discussion
 of Bravo TV's program "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy."

 Says Bennett in his audio piece: "The show's message to America is quite clear:
 We need gay men to teach straight men how to be real men."

 Gay fella - please! (I would've loved to have put "Faggot, please!" there, but this crowd would howl.)

 The show's message is that women like clean, well-groomed men in nice clothes.
 The gay thing is a joke, that you can't see because your ICB said those people were scary.
 They all fawn over how cute the guy is towards the end, but that's to give him confidence.

 You weirdos wake up every day with your magnifying glass, looking for some piece of
 the Devil that you can personally stamp out instead of loving your spouses and kids.
 Tomorrow, instead of attack a gay American, why not take your kids to the zoo?

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 Reference to Bill Bennett gratuitously insulting
  ha ha - for Bill Bennett (R-NoControl) that's the best kind

  Click  Here  (I lost the link)

 Bill “the bookie of virtues” Bennett was out in public, preaching moral responsibility and chastising people for gambling
 and for engaging in consensual sexual liaisons while at the same time he was losing his ass at the Craps tables and
 one-armed bandits, sometimes into the wee hours of the night, sitting on a stool, alone and naked in his hotel room
 with the slot machine pull lever in one hand and a shot of whiskey in the other, out in “The City of Sin” Las Vegas.

 Old business

> If Rush paid his housekeeper $120,000 to remain silent, isn't that conspiracy to obstruct justice?
> Any Florida (or other) criminal attorney's who could straighten this out?

 Hmmm, last time I asked for an attorney, I got enough replies to fill a jury box.
 This time - nothing.

 Oh well, let's just assume the worst, prison for Pigboy, smile, and go on with other subjects...

"I'm going to take Cali-fornia!"


 "Big cats are just like loaded guns - they're always ready to go off."
   -- Jack Hanna, Columbus Zoo

 It's my understanding Siegfried and Roy did 17,000 shows before getting to The Mirage,
 and another 5,000 in their "current" theater, but then I heard 30,000 on larry King.

 Can you believe the way Roy beat the odds?  Was he that good?
 Assuming Jack Hanna knows what he's talking about, (and my numbers are right) Roy got
 in with those togers 22,000 times with nothing more than "nicks and scrapes."

 I kick myself for always putting off seeing their show.   Now it seems like there will never be
 another Siegfried and Roy show, and it's possible we've seen the last of big cat shows in America.

 Roy still critical; progress noted
  Illusionist responds to doctors' requests to move both arms, both legs

  Click  Here

 Horn then gave doctors reason to be even more optimistic that he might survive the mauling.

"The doctor said, 'Can you put two thumbs up?' Roy distinctly put his thumbs up," Baldwin said.
"We look at this as a very positive thing. He is obviously conscious and understanding the doctors."

 More Details

 Horn was injured about 45 minutes into Friday's show when he walked a 7-year-old tiger onstage with a leash.
 The tiger refused Horn's command to lie down. Shortly thereafter, the tiger locked its jaws on Horn's arm.
 Horn hit the tiger with a microphone, and the tiger then lunged at him, clamping his jaws on Horn's neck.

 Bob Salyer, S&R production manager, recalled during the vigil how Horn's co-workers rushed in and tried to
 beat the tiger off of him. Their efforts were in vain, Salyer said, until a quick-thinking carpenter grabbed a fire extinguisher.

"He shot it at the cat, and the cat released," Salyer said.
"Nothing short of that was going to make the cat let go."

 (Think of the bravery it takes to get that close to a tiger while it's holding a man in his jaws.)

 Horn was bleeding profusely, but his stubbornness and toughness were evident, Salyer said.
"Some of the first words out of his mouth were, 'Let me up so I can go back on,' " Salyer said.
 Amy Fink, a friend of Horn's who visited the hospital Sunday, said he made this point very clear on his
 ambulance ride to the hospital Friday night. "He said, 'Don't kill the cat. It's a good cat,' " Fink said.

 End of the Line for True Vegas Icons?

  Click  Here

 "...such was their iconic status that people kept paying to see their shows at the Mirage, even as the explosion
 of Cirque du Soleil spectaculars cut into business and made their tigers and magic act all the more dated.
 There was simply no better way to mint one's Las Vegas experience than to say you had seen Siegfried & Roy.

 Clockwise: Siegfried, Roy and Montecore.

 Subject: Rush in drug trouble

 Hi Bart,

 First thought  when I heard about rush, (well, first was, HA,HA)  was, "Bart will love this."
 As you keep proving, the bushettes can't function outside the cult"s trailer park.  It all sounds so reasonable.

 You know, drink the KoolAid, castrate yourself and wait for the spaceship, the only victims in Murica are
 stupid white christians, tax cuts for the rich help the poor.  Eventually, they wander ouside the Invisible Fence
 and are stunned to encounter ridicule and/or a fight.

 So they run home to lick their wounds (and whatever rushie needs licked)
 Keep knocking them down until the normal Muricans realize what wusses they really are.


Click to order and
for more information

 Boston wins a baseball game
  Earthquake Center reports slight shift in Earth's axis,
  second day in a row the unthinkable has happened

  Click  Here

  Boston completed a miracle, three-game playoff comeback, beating Oakland 4-3 last night
 in Game 5 of their AL division series to put the Red Sox closer to the (Dare I say?) World Series.

 "It's not like anything I've ever felt before," said reliever Derek Lowe said.
 "It's a win for Boston, for the Red Sox nation."

 According to the Seven Holy Seals, a Cubs-RedSox World Series would clearly indicate
 the end of the world is near, and that means I'm going back to the Catholic Church.

 I was just kidding about all that, Dear Lord.

 That Karang guy from a few issues back got snippy

  Click  Here

 No need for an excerpt - you know this guy's crazy!

 Subject: Gov Octopus

 Friends, this is REAL, and a very serious point that needs to be made.

 I personally knew an actress who had a featured role on the role on the first "Terminator" film.
 Several years ago, she relayed to me and John how this vulgar creep (Musclehead) took pleasure
 in sexually harassing, and attempting to humiliate her, during the shoot.   Given the "don't tell"
 atmosphere prevalent on every movie set, she stayed quiet rather than risk professional repercussions.

 These stories have been known in private circles for many, many years.  I am disgusted, and this brazen
 and disgusting man should be ridden out of town on a rail.  The "apology" is not enough.  This is actually
 a petition that might help in some way.


 October sticker placement contest!

 How to win:

 To get your stickers, send a self-addressed envelope to:
 PO Box 54466
 Tulsa, OK 74155
 OR, you could PayPal a small donation and get your stickers within 48 hours.

 The stickers are free, but donations are accepted.

 Get yours, then send in a digital photo of where you put it.
 (Please don't vandalize anything with these stickers)
 Click  Here   for the best October stickers


"This particular squad of scoundrels is desperate. They are no longer able to bludgeon
  dissenters with facts; the justifications Bush and his co-conspirators used for this
  pre-emptive war have been revealed as dissembling, distortion and outright lies"
     -- Cynthia Tucker, Atlanta Journal-Constitution

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"This isn't an issue about intentions or what the hopes were or what the plans were or
  what the programs were. What took us to war were statements about Saddam's WMDs
  and the threat of their imminent use."
     --Sen. Carl Levin (D - Michigan)   WMD questions linger

 Rude Rich's concert report

 We went to Bruce's second from the last show of the tour last Friday at Shea Stadium.
 Great seats, 3 rows into the second section, right around second base or short center.
 The stage was in deep center field. We were right by the sound booth and it sounded very nice.
 We had a nice echo off the stands behind us that we didn't have at the huge Giants Stadium.

 During one sing-along, Bruce told us to "Sing louder if you want to impeach Bush."
 Nice touch.
 He also uses Bush's voice in sort of a rap intro to a song.

 When Bruce introduces the band, he always saves the Big Man for last. In recent shows he's
 been saying that Clarence belongs in the White House. That night when he got to Clarence he said
 "and last but not least, the Big man, the man we need in the White House - .AL FRANKEN"
 and sure enough, little Al Franken came out for a bow.

 After bringing a 12 year old girl onstage to dance with him during his usual last song "Dancing in the Dark"
 he brought up special guests Gary "U.S." Bonds and Mets pitcher Al Leiter to do a Beatles version of
 "Twist and Shout". I said it was the first time all year the Boo's at Shea haven't been for Leiter.
 He did alot of rarities that he usuaully doesn't do. "Pink Cadillac" and "Born in the USA" stand out as I recall.


 Rude Rich

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 Musings from the Heartland
   by   Richard L. Fricker

  Click  Here

 Where the President of the United States tells the CIA they can execute our citizens without warrant or trial if they
 "suspect" they associate with people the CIA "believes" to be associated with acts of terrorism, as long as the killing
  takes place outside the U.S. and not too many civilians are killed in the process.
 Where we flaunt the Constitution while inprisoning people indefinitely without access to lawyers or being charged
 with a crime solely because we want to.
 Where we establish our own gulag in a foreign country in order to avoid our own laws.
 Where the President lies to the American people, admits he lies and there is no hue and cry for his removal.
 Where we are more fearful of our neighbors than anyone else and enact silly, draconian laws to protect us from
  those we've known all our lives.

 I'm not the only one with Poker Fever

  Click  Here

 Poker is hot — thanks mostly to TV, of all things. Who would have bet on that?
"I was going around to every cable entity that would do something like this, and every one of them
 didn't get it," says Steve Lipscomb, founder of the World Poker Tour (WPT). "They all thought it
 was crazy that anyone would find this so interesting they'd watch it on TV. But they are."

 Are they ever. World Poker Tour (Wednesday, 9 p.m. ET/PT) was the Travel Channel's highest-rated
 show this year, with 3 million to 5 million people tuning in each week. Reruns are doing 27% better than
 their original airings, and 13 more tournaments are being filmed to air the first quarter of next year.

"We've elevated the sport from something as dull as watching paint dry to a great spectator sport,"
 Lipscomb says. "Watching people make a million-dollar decision on every hand is great TV."

 Does it get any better than that for a TV producer?
 The reruns got 27% more viewers than the original showing?
 On top of that, the very profitable TV show is merely a commercial for their online games.
 They're getting millions to produce commercials for their own gazillion-dollar-making company.

 Free airfare + cheap hotels = Pokerfest Los Angeles in January?

 VCR Alert

 There's a lot on TV tonight...

 Let's begin with Jon Stewart going live for Der Groper's Coronation.
 It's only 30 minutes, and it's on just as the polls close so he may not know nothin',
 but Jon's the best in the business - I'd watch.

 Also, they're playing the last-ever John Ritter episode.
 They might be taking away this "most talented man in the history of show business" stuff too far,
 but he was ABC's last chance to make a profit this year, so maybe we can't blame them to much.

 Jillian the Conservative and the Fab Five are on Good Morning, Miami.
 The "Shoe Fairy" joke is enough to make Mrs Bart put a tape into the VCR, plus,
 there's another new edition of Queer Eye on Bravo.

 They say "Frasier's back," but maybe Grammer's just launching his senatorial campaign.
 Then, an all-new episode of The Mulletts - just kidding.

 The obligatory Dennis Miller appearance on Leno, and "Uma, meet Oprah" is on Dave.

 ...but watch The Daily Show for all your election night laughs.

La Cucaracha by Lalo Alcaraz


"It's a ruthless game. You suck their blood, then go bowling with them afterward."
    -- Jennifer Harmon, professional poker player, who admits she uses her little-girl looks to her advantage

 Hatch pushes Gov Gang Bang for President
  Not a joke, unless the Salt Lake Tribune is a big kidder

  Click  Here

 Sen. Orrin Hatch says Arnold should not be judged on past improper advances towards women
 but as the devoted husband he is today, adding that the foreign-born Arnold also should have the
 opportunity to run for president under a constitutional amendment Hatch is pushing.

 Hatch has introduced a resolution to amend the Constitution's ban on non-American-born presidents
 by allowing people who have been U.S. citizens for at least 20 years to be elected to the White House.

Baseball, pro and college football, and Eldrick Woods!
...and more

Click to Enter

 Bush's American soldier body count in Iraq
 Last issue it was  318,  ....this issue it's  323 They got FIVE of our boys since yesterday?

 Soon, we'll be at 400.
 How long before we hit 600?
 How long before we hit 1000?

 Total deaths since President Frog-blaster invited "terrorists" to, "Bring 'em On":  113 118

Over 1,400 wounded - with many missing arms, legs and eyes.
 How much more are we willing to tolerate?


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