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Volume 1173 - Bush's lil' Soldier

      Please visit our sponsors

 Thurs-Friday    October 9-10, 2003


"We have to look at people who they are today, not what they may have done wrong in the past.
  There isn't a person in this room or anywhere else in the world who is perfect, who has lived perfectly."
         --Orrin Hatch, explaining why voters should forgive Arnold for a lifetime of sexual assaults    Attribution

 Three attacks in Iraq leave 12 dead 

  Click  Here

 In Baghdad's bloodiest attack for weeks, police said two suicide bombers crashed a car through
 a police station's gates, killing two policemen and six civilians and wounding dozens in the blast

 A U.S. soldier died when a rocket propelled grenade hit his convoy  -- the 92nd soldier to die
 since U.S. President George Bush declared major combat over on May 1.

 "Got terrorists? Bring 'em on!"


 Spending On Iraq Sets Off Gold Rush 

  Click  Here

 Of the $4 billion a month already being spent in Iraq, as much as a third is going to the private contractors  (the BFEE)
 who have flooded into the country, said Deborah D. Avant, a political scientist at GW University and an expert in the
 new breed of private military companies. The flow of money will increase greatly if Congress approves Bush's request.

"All I can say is it's mind-boggling," James Lyons, a former military subcontractor in Bosnia,
 said of the opportunities for private contractors. "People (He means Bush's friends) must be drooling."

 9-11 was the greatest thing to ever happen to the B.F.E.E.
 The manufactured war against Iraq is the second greatest thing.
 Will they put "scumbag war profiteer" on their tax returns?

 Detective tells Kobe's accuser's story

  Click  Here

 At that point, the detective said, the woman was afraid and wanted to leave the room.
 The detective testified that she told him, "'Kobe Bryant grabbed me with both hands
 around my neck. I was afraid he was going to choke me.'"

 Tests also show blood on one of Kobe's shirts belongs to the girl.
 Suddenly, he looks a lot more guilty.


"I would never take lightly a serious allegation backed up by evidence that there was a willful -- and I
  emphasize willful, inadvertent is something else -- willful disclosure, and I haven't seen any evidence...
  Somebody sends me a blue dress and some DNA, I'll have an investigation."
    --Rep. Porter Goss, R-Scumbag,  Goss says CIA leak not worthy of committee action

 Hey asshole, sex isn't a crime, no matter how much you guys try to make it into one.
 Exposing a secret agent and risking dozens of innocent lives IS a crime.
 Why don't you do your f-ing job and leave Clinton's cock out of this?

 Bush's Betrayal
  Judas drove a hard bargain compared to Bush. At least he got 30 pieces of silver

  Click  Here

 Turkey has one enduring aim: the suppression of Kurdish freedom anywhere in the region. That will be
 Ankara's immutable goal in Iraq.

 The administration tells us, coyly, that the Turkish contingent will be stationed in the Sunni Arab area of
 central Iraq, far from the Kurds. But the Turks intend to play a waiting game, confident that American
 patience will fail and that we will look for any excuse to bail out - leaving the Turks in place to broker power.

 Introducing Turkish troops into the Sunni Arab region, the sole area of Iraq even partly hospitable to
 dead-enders from Saddam's regime and to international terrorists, is as short-sighted as it now appears expedient.

Please visit our sponsors

 Subject: Arnold's Hitler remarks


 You haven't commented about reports that Al Franken misquoted Arnold and that what
 was actually said was that he admired Hitler's abilities but NOT what he did with them.

 Since I have not (nor have many of us) seen Pumping Iron, I don't know who to believe
 (although I choose to believe Franken usually).  Your two cents?


 I can't imagine anybody watching a bodybuilding movie.
 I have not heard about Al Franken and a misquote, but we do know that Arnold
 bought the rights to that movie so he coulds destroy the master tapes.

 Sounds like Mr Cali-fornia has something to hide.


"We have to look at people who they are today, not what they may have done wrong in the past.
  There isn't a person in this room or anywhere else in the world who is perfect, who has lived perfectly."
   --Orrin Hatch, trying to make it President Groper   Attribution

 Spending On Iraq Sets Off Gold Rush
  Bush contributors laughing all the way to the Social Security lockbox

  Click  Here

 Among the dozens of projects in the proposal is a State Department plan to spend $800 million to build a large training
 facility for a new Iraqi police force. Management fees alone would run $26 million a month, while 1,500 police trainers
 would cost $240,000 each per year, or $20,000 each per month. DynCorp of Reston is likely to get the contract.

 Police trainers are paid a quarter of a million dollars a year? And we need 1,500 of them?
 I'll bet they're getting $60K and the B.F.E.E. is skimming $180K each - times 1,500

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 The FCC gives Bono a pass

  Click  Here

 The complaints objected to Bono's uttering the phrase, "this is really, really, fucking brilliant."

 The FCC, using the F-word more often to explain its decision than Bono did on the air,
 said the word "may be crude and offensive, but, in the context presented here, did not
 describe sexual or excretory organs or activities." That distinction is a key test to measure
 whether a statement meets a federal standard for broadcast indecency.

 So you can say the f-word on TV if it's not describing sex?

Click to see a fun flash movie


ďRush never knew much about football, anyway. He was dumb and loud, but he has never been
  anything more or less than a half-bright commentator with an agenda who wanted more than his
 15 minutes of bitchy fame. He was greedy, and so was ESPN for hiring him.

 Rush Limbaugh is a lame professional Swine and he makes a good living at it. He is like a hired
 Geek in some traveling backwoods carnival -- the freaks who bite the heads off Chickens -- but
 Limbaugh is a modernized Geek who thinks he can bite the heads off of people."
   -- Hunter S Thompson,  Attribution

 Joe Conason's Journal
 The same Republicans who excoriated Clinton for his consensual misconduct
 have excused or ignored Schwarzenegger's undenied assaults.

  Click  Here

"Conservatives capable of honest comment on the Republican victory in California aren't easy to find, so Steve Chapman
 deserves special attention today. His unsparing examination of right-wing sexual hypocrisy -- a subject almost impossible
 to exhaust -- in the cases of Bill Clinton and Arnold Schwarzenegger should shame Chapman's comrades on the right.
 If the new governor's accusers are telling the truth, he has a long history of what the California penal code describes
 as "sexual battery," a pattern considerably worse than anything credibly charged against the former president.

 Chapman names names, including David Frum, William Bennett, Linda Chavez and the Wall Street Journal editorial page,
 which went so far as to praise Schwarzenegger for his "candor." (He omitted the awesomely phony Sen. Orrin Hatch, however.)

"Maybe the defenders of virtue exhausted themselves so thoroughly attacking Clinton that they have no energy left to find
 fault with Schwarzenegger," Chapman writes. "In any event, I have yet to hear a peep of disgust from the major moralists
 of the right." He knows his comrades all too well, as his stinging kicker proves.

Please visit our sponsors

 More from Joe Conason

 More fun with wussy Bill
 Don't miss today's broadcast of "Fresh Air," the NPR program hosted by Terry Gross.
 I am reliably informed that her guest, Bill O'Reilly, fled the studios in a fit of anger
 -- and that the show will be played in its entirety, including his undignified exit.

 What did the tiny, soft-spoken Terry ask that drove big, blustering Bill from her Philadelphia studio?
 Hearing the Fox blowhard explode again may brighten an otherwise grim day.

Marty's Entertainment Page
Jay Leno - the Right (wing) Comic
Tommy Chong reported to prison
Paul McCartney pranked by Canadian radio
New knights
Jamie Lee Curtis says ahnold will surprise Californians
Louis Armstrong's house opened for tours
And a baby panda

 Vatican: condoms don't stop Aids

  Click  Here

 The Catholic Church is telling people in countries stricken by Aids not to use condoms because they have
 tiny holes in them through which the HIV virus can pass - potentially exposing thousands of people to risk.
 The church is making the claims across four continents despite a widespread scientific consensus that
 condoms are impermeable to the HIV virus.

 A senior Vatican spokesman backs the claims about permeable condoms, despite assurances by the
 World Health Organisation that they are untrue.

 The WHO has condemned the Vatican's views, saying: "These incorrect statements about condoms
 and HIV are dangerous when we are facing a global pandemic which has already killed more than
 20 million people, and currently affects at least 42 million."

 What? The Catholics are flying in the face of logic?
 Can't be.

 Letter to Rush

 Hypocrite weasel-

 I am a bit confused.  Your morning whine was about Grey Davis being a serial woman batterer and how
 the liberal media (which as you and I both know doesen't exist) wouldn't address it.  Ahnold has been accused
 by over fifteen women (at last count), of having sexually molested them, but I only hear silence from you and
 your fellow liberal bashers.  What's up here, old moralist?  You couldn't shut your stupid fat lying mouth for
 five seconds when you were hypocritically and piously slamming Bill Clinton for his sexual indiscretions.
 Oh, yeah, I know, that was "different".

 I can't wait to see the "family value" Bushies out in California swapping spit with this pervert next year in their
 desperate, and I pray futile, attempt at a second term. I picture our fraudulently elected president with one arm
 around a bible and the other around the governator. I'm sure you and your fellow weasels will have no trouble
 explaining to your brain dead audience that pervert Ahnold's "indiscretions" weren't the same because he wasn't
 in the White House and that Ahnold was just being playfull, or some other kind of weasel excuse.

 I was going to go on a little longer here but I feel the need to go puke.  You seem to have that effect on me,
 and the majority of Americans who are sick to death of lying, hypocrite weasels like yourself.  I just read what
 I wrote so far and I think I've probably used the word weasel a few too many times but I am struggling to find
 a more apt descriptor. Perhaps evil, poisonous, venal, lying sack of shit would be an acceptable substitute.

 Anyway, disgusting vile liar, I am a bit confused on another issue as well.  When you were outed for being a
 pill popping serial druggie criminal,  you insisted that you weren't being "Clintonesque" by making a weasel
 (just can't stop using the word) nonstatement, and that the whole situation would be revealed to your dittohead
 adherents, "as soon as you knew what you were facing."  Well, weasel, when do you think that will be?
 I check your website daily and you haven't done it yet. Perhaps after your stay at Betty Ford, when you can
 explain to everyone how you were ambushed by the lefties. That's it, "the lefties made me do it."

 MOST sincerely,
 Tony McGrath


"It is incredibly important to get that message (of celibacy) to young women.
  You know, really, if I had an opportunity to shoot Britney Spears, I think I would,"
    -- Kendel Ehrlich, wife of Republican Gov. Robert Ehrlich of Maryland,  Attribution

 Subject: re: Stephen Bennett, an ex-homosexual and head of Stephen Bennett Ministries

 Too funny.
 I went to highschool with this guy.

 His whole ministry is premised on the fact that he stopped being gay, which God hated, and his miserable life turned around.
 Now he has an ex-lesbian, Christian wife, and life is just grand!

 Actually, he was an out of control drug addict, and when he stopped doing excessive amounts of drugs, his life turned around.
 Though not much.  He just traded cocaine for the opiate of the masses.  That's the thing these Jesus-freaks can never figure out
 --you didn't get healed.  You just traded one excess for another.  You're still suffering from your basic problem.
 You never learned to grow up and exercise a little self-control.

 And, while you're at it:  try exercising a little responsibility.  The devil didn't make you do anything.
 You wanted to do it, and you were too child-like not to.

 They never learned to do the right thing for no other reason than it was the right thing to do.
 They need a reason.  They need a reward for being decent.

 If this guy didn't think God was looking over his shoulder, he'd be back in the black leather chaps in a heartbeat.
 That's not salvation.  That's a monkey with electrodes hooked up to his nuts.

 Press the green button, monkey.  Get a banana.
 Press the red button, monkey.  Go to hell.

 Ricky Z

 (Jimmy Carter gets a pass on that diatribe, as do most normal Christians.  Most Christians love their religion
 because it reflects values that they already embrace.  I'm talking about the bible-thumpers, the ones that like
 Christianity because it allows them to tell other people they're going to hell.)

 Is Condi Gaslighting Rummy?
  At long last, a MoDo column worth running

  Click  Here

 And it may have dire implications for the Pentagon and White House if Americans come to believe that their trust
 was betrayed when the president and his team spread the impressions that Saddam was about to blow us up and
 that he was behind  the 9/11 attacks.

 It doesn't help to have a former-NATO-commander-turned-presidential-contender running around telling the country
 that the Bush dream team is a bunch of dunces. Or a former-diplomat-turned-angry-husband -of-an-outed-spy running
 around telling the country that the Bush dream team is a bunch of backstabbing lawbreakers who are dead wrong on Iraq.

 The administration that never let you see it sweat is sweating, as two of its control freaks openly tug over control.
 The president's foreign policy duenna and his grumpy grampy over at the Pentagon are suddenly mud wrestling.

 Why Jay Leno became Bush's lil' soldier

  Click  Here

 Clinton hasnít been in office for nearly three years now.
 Yet thereís Leno night after night still giggling about Bill and Monica.

 Leno was still finding his footing after playing No. 2 in kudos to Letterman, who had given television
 what was praised as one of its most important entertainment hours of the entire season on 9/17/01.
 In contrast, Lenoís speechifying looked artificial and awkward. He needed a new shtick.

 Leno found one: siding with the Bush administration no matter what the circumstances. Lenoís White House
 promotion was still riding high even when the nationís terrorist trembling had nearly subsided. After Bush went
 after France, so did Leno. When Bush went after Iraq, so did Leno. Last month, he even found a way to combine
 both issues in a single joke: "Well, there are now reports that France may agree to train Iraqi soldiers. Why?
 I thought Iraqis already knew how to surrender."

 Today, the Clinton gibes continue on The Tonight Show, and the Bush jokes are still few and far between.
 Thatís made Leno a favorite on the lucrative corporate master-of-ceremonies circuit since so many CEOs tilt Republican

 Siegfried says Montecore did not maul Roy

  "Dat's what he said..."

  Click  Here

 KING: What did you see?

 FISCHBACHER: I just thought that the tiger grabbed him on the sleeve like this and Roy said, "Let go,"
 and the tiger let go. And Roy went back. And he slipped. He tripped (and fell).  And then tiger went over there and,
 of course, at that moment, I run. I realize -- I thought, "Roy's in danger." I run. Also my animal helper who was on
 the side and watching careful. And we run and we try to separate. And, I realize that the tiger took Roy by the neck
 and he pulled him back on stage. Because it was outside in the audience, you know?

 KING: Do think he was trying to help him?

 FISCHBACHER: That's exactly what I think. Roy fall and he want protect, because that's danger, you know?
 An animal like this and tripping and he gone over there.  And of course, when we went -- I thought we were doing
 right when we went there - he was in extra danger, right?  So he took Roy and put him backstage behind the curtain...

 KING: To protect him

 FISCHBACHER: To protect him. and then he let Roy go and went back.

 YUMAN: (Their manager) Montecore was helping save his friend to take him to safety.
 This is not an attack. This was not a mauling. This was Montecore taking his friend to safety.

 Big cats, calculated risk

  Click  Here

 But "tigers are highly evolved specialists at killing large mammals. That's what all those teeth and claws are for,"
 Seidensticker says. Horn and his partner, Siegfried Fischbacher, are known for "providing the best of everything
 for their animals and also as consummate professional trainers," he says. "In spite of that, this happened.
 That tells you something. It was inevitable."

 The truly scary thing about the attack, Seidensticker says, is that perhaps 10,000 tigers nationwide are kept by
 private owners with little training and in conditions far less opulent than the pampered tigers of the Las Vegas act.
"I look at each of those cats as another accident waiting to happen."

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 Subject: weird deal

 I was in Sacramento this week for a wedding and sat at a table full of strangers.
 During the conversation one of the folks from Wisconsin mentioned Bartcop and that he was a member.

 After that we had a very lively discussion and many drinks.
 What another fine example for a Bartcopper.


 October sticker placement contest!

 How to win:

 To get your stickers, send a self-addressed envelope to:
 PO Box 54466
 Tulsa, OK 74155
 OR, you could PayPal a small donation and get your stickers within 48 hours.

 The stickers are free, but donations are accepted.

 Get yours, then send in a digital photo of where you put it.
 (Please don't vandalize anything with these stickers)
 Click  Here   for the best October stickers


"If you can trample your own campaign promises, avoid talking about fixes for the state's problems,
  drive a Hummer in smog city, get accused of pawing 15 women, and still captivate an electorate in which
 Democrats hold a huge advantage, you deserve to be governor. And the people deserve to have you."
   --Steve Lopez,   Der Gropenfuhrer

  Tulare county votes look wrong 
    by Faun Otter    a exclusive

  Click  Here

 Tulare county gave 'obscure' candidates very high percents of their state wide totals:

 Palmieri - 995 out of 3,717   26.77%
 Platform was 'don't vote for me or the recall'. Gay Rights activist who lives in LA.

 Kunzman - 694 out of 2,133  32.54%
 Lives north of Oakland and favored increased social programs. Said he would fire all
 school custodians tosave money and have the kids empty the trash and clean the carpets.

 Sprague - 546 out of 1,576  34.64%
 Zero tolerance for discrimination. Lives near

 From: Bob

 Subject: You have proven yourself and idiot

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"I've learned my lesson. Never underestimate the stupidity of the American voter.
 Just when you think they can't be bigger fucking idiots, they prove you wrong.
 Stupid sells. Hence the miraculous relative popularity of Dubyah, despite all of his
 adminstration's screw ups and deliberate screw jobs. By rights Bush should have
 favorability and approval ratings that make Gray Davis look like Mr, Popularity.

"I want him to be governor,because he is really cool and heís got lots of money for us, too. "
      --Andrea Lazano, Schwarzenegger supporter, quoted on  Olbermann

 Radio show feedback


 1) The clip-your response-clip-your response format works really well.
     Most of us have short attention spans, so it's best to deconstruct Rush (or whoever) sentence by sentence.

 2) Your voice sounds great--not that it was bad before, but whatever you did equipment-wise really worked.

 3) As for the "more shows" question, I'd rather have fewer, higher-quality shows than something quantity-driven.

 4) I guess just keep in mind that we're paying to hear what you think, and we're doing that because we get a kick out of you.

 5) I think it would be a nice idea for you to get COMPLETELY shit-faced and do a show.



1. Those are fun to do.
2. Credit Tommy Mack, and my finding the front of the microphone
3. Me, too.
4. Thanks,
5. That could happen.


"I wanted to give this to Tom DeLay's lap dog, Rick Perry."
   --Alec Baldwin, in Austin carrying a box of dog biscuits for Republican Gov. Rick Perry,   Attribution

 Study proves FOX News audience is stupid

  Click  Here

 PIPA found that 48 percent of the public believe US troops found evidence of close pre-war links
 between Iraq and al-Qaeda; 22 percent thought troops found WMD in Iraq; and 25 percent believed
 that world public opinion favored Washington's going to war with Iraq. All three are misperceptions.

 I blame:
FOX for lying about everything
The rest of the media for not calling them on it.
Democrats for hiding in the corner begging, "Please don't hurt me."

La Cucaracha by Lalo Alcaraz


"At best, the evidence indicates that Schwarzenegger has a habit of sexual battery. This goes beyond the behavior
 that unleashed a scandal on Bill Clinton. So consider their double standard. When Clinton did with Monica, conservatives
 thought it was morally repugnant. They also thought it disqualified him from remaining in office. Yet they're happy to have
 as governor of California someone who, by his own admission, has forced himself on unwilling women. Their new darling
 is a more aggressive sexual predator than the president they tried to remove from office. Morality? Law? They'll leave it
 to liberals to fret about such irrelevancies. But if the charges persist and multiply, I predict conservatives will find a way
 to address Arnold's behavior: They'll blame it on Clinton."
     --Steve Chapman    Double standards

 John Bonham, the best drummer Led Zeppelin ever had, was a car collector.

 When you make gazillions of dollars, cars are fun to collect.
 He didn't seem the type, but I wonder if he owned any Cadillacs?

 The reason I ask - it seems several times a night for maybe six months or more,
 I've been hearing his opening to "Rock n Roll" as a prelude to a Cadillac commercial.

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Baseball, pro and college football, and Eldrick Woods!
This weekend, Minnesota and Michigan will play for the Little Brown Jug,
that is if they can get it out of the pResident's hands and pour out the Everclear in time.
It's a football weekend, so grab a handful of pretzels, Lorcet, Vicodin, and Oxycontin,
and YOUR favorite jug and enjoy the games...

Click to Enter

 Bush's American soldier body count in Iraq
 Last issue it was  323,  ....this issue it's  326 They got THREE of our boys since yesterday.
                                                                                                                   Damn, I hate to hear that.

 Soon, we'll be at 400.
 How long before we hit 600?
 How long before we hit 1000?

 Total deaths since President Frog-blaster said, "Bring 'em On":  118 121 son of a bitch

Over 1,400 wounded - with many missing arms, legs and eyes.
 How much more are we willing to tolerate?


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 Can't get in the members section?

 Click  Here  to reach Sam at her new address.

 Take a breath

 I know you feel like we're losing.
 I know you feel like you just want to give up.
 I know you wonder why you're fighting when nobody else gives a fuck.

 Just remember - we're right.
 We're right on the issues, and they can't help but come to us.

 As time goes by, they'll see things our way, but time is so sloooow.

 Just keep hanging in there - we'll win in the long run.

 Have a good time today - that's just a suggestion...

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