"Join us for A Flyboy's Tale. CNN brings
back to where George Bush's life changed
I thought - why are they doing a story about the Broadmoor Hotel
in Colorado Springs?
the joke's on me!
It wasn't a visit to the Broadmoor, where the Unelected Punk allegedly
killed a hooker and stopped drinking.
It was another CNN praisefest for his sainted Daddy, the
Moonie leader of the B.F.E.E.
CNN is always doing some praisefest for Bush or Reagan
- ever see them do one for a living Democrat?
accused of Iraq overbilling
Waxman says the B.F.E.E. overcharged U.S. for exporting oil
Waxman said army documents showed that
as of Sept. 18, the United States had paid Halliburton
$300 million to import about 190 million
gallons (719 million liters) of gasoline into Iraq.
Halliburton billed the government an average
price of $1.59 per gallon (3.7 liters), excluding the
company's fee of 2 percent to 7 percent,
He said the average wholesale cost of gasoline
during that period in the Middle East was about
71 cents a gallon, a figure an oil industry
source told Reuters was accurate. That meant Halliburton
was charging more than 90 cents a gallon
to transport fuel into Iraq from Kuwait
is price gouging the taxpayers by overcharging in their phoney war??
Gee, that's so hard to believe. Who
ever heard of a crooked oil company?
You'd think somebody would've seen this
I'm still on Scott Peterson case
Mark Geragos's attorney denied recent reports
that there is dissent in the defense camp, saying that he
"absolutely" still represents America's
most famous murder defendant and is burning the midnight oil to
prepare for next month's important preliminary
I don't know where people are getting this
stuff," Geragos said of news accounts that Peterson's
relatives are disappointed with his representation
and considering firing him.
Before Peterson met Geragos, he was a certain
After meeting Geragos, he's got
a decent chance of being found "not guilty."
He should shine Mark's shoes every time
he comes to visit.
Lawyers Say Evidence Proves Innocence
Kobe Bryant's accuser showed up for her
rape exam wearing panties containing another man's sperm,
a startling discovery that defense lawyers
called "compelling evidence" the NBA star is innocent.
"The accuser arrived at the hospital
wearing panties with someone else's semen and
sperm in them, not that of Mr.
Bryant, correct?" defense attorney Pamela Mackey asked.
"That's correct," Winters responded.
Eagle attorney Jim Fahrenholtz called the
hearing "a disaster for the prosecution."
Most, though, said they expected the judge
to order a trial for Bryant, which would
probably not take place until next summer,
at the earliest.
"It will be pretty hard for this judge to say
you don't have enough non-hearsay evidence,"
former Denver prosecutor Craig Silverman
Does anyone have a clue what might've happened here?
I'd guess most women change their underwear every few days, right?
How could she wear soiled (by another man) underwear to give
evidence for a rape kit?
Plus, there are a several little things that you have to listen
very hard to hear.
The accuser assigned Kobe his
room. She put him alone, in his own corner of the hotel,
and his bodyguards were placed not
nearby. That seems to have been intentional.
If you're Kobe, why do you not want your bodyguards
The room she gave Kobe had a
door, where she entered without being seen.
After the alledged attack, she
went back and finished her shift's paperwork.
They (especially Nancy Grace)
keeps talking about "the injuries this girl suffered."
Yesterday, the detective said you can't see the
injuries with the naked eye,
but you can see them in photographs if they
are blown up in size.
After that "horrible, unfounded
slur" about the three men that Mackey mentioned last week,
she proved it yesterday in court. There was Kobe,
there was the mystery (to us) sperm
depositor and an unknown third man who used a comdom
when he was with her.
Investigate Pilot in NYC Ferry Crash
Authorities were investigating whether
a Staten Island ferry pilot lost consciousness during a routine trip
across a windy New York Harbor before the
mighty vessel slammed into a pier, killing 10 people.
The pilot bolted the scene so quickly that
he left behind his gear and his keys, then broke into his house
where he slit his wrists and shot himself
with a pellet gun, a source told The AP.
The pilot, Richard Smith, was in critical
condition after surgery.
they said this "pilot" committed suicide.
I guess his condition improved overnight.
Least 30 arrested for Selling Iraq Arms
So far Halliburton's name not showing up on any government
A father-and-son team from San Diego were
charged Wednesday with selling gunboats to Saddam.
Officials said they believed that the two
delivered and helped to assemble three 85-foot-long patrol boats,
armed with machine guns, as part of an
$11 million contract with Saddam's military.
"Our information is that a number of these boats
were actually deployed in combat operations around Basra"
against American troops during fighting
in Iraq, Michael T. Dougherty, director of operations for the Bureau
of Immigration and Customs Enforcement,
Boats used against our boys around Basra?
What good is a boat in Iraq?
Has anybody heard of any troops dying from
a boat attack?
Of course, they won't mention Cheney's multi-million
dollar oil field contracts with Saddam because
Saddam beefing up his oil revenue made
him richer, more powerful and more dangerous.
So they go after some father and son boat
building team so talk radio and FOX
News can say
Bush is a strong president who's "taking
all necessary steps" to make America safe from Iraqi gun boats.
If Bart likes Michelle Branch, he should
try Evanessence's "Bring Me to Life."
After the Cub loss last night, I just may
need to play it endlessly myself.
It's too bad about the Cubs.
They were talking about that fan who tried to grab the foul ball
yesterday on CNN.
They said if that guy ran against Mrs. O'Leary's cow for Chicago
mayor, the cow would win in a landslide.
am so truly sorry from the bottom of this Cubs fan's broken heart."
This poor bastard has gone into hiding - a cop is guarding his
Subject: The Pledge
Bart, you wrote:
> The fact is, "under God" isn't necessary for
the pledge - it's not needed - it doesn't belong there.
> You might as well ask people to pledge their
allegiance to mustard over ketchup on hot dogs.
> Why not ask them to pledge to FOX News while
they're at it?
> Such extreme stupidity, and all for a non-existent
invisible cloud being.
Yes, but I'll bet you a shot of nature's
finest that the SCOTUS finds a way to leave it in!
If they can vote to protect the interests
of the boy king, they will fall all over themselves
to protect the interests of the cloud being.
Larry the Poker King
By the way, someone asked about the poker trophies that went to
Pokerfest-Vegas winners Deb and
Larry-by-the-Sea. I thought
about you Bart-is-sexist readers when a GIRL won the first tournament!
Poker sign by Zendaba
Tournament winners got an empty bottle of Chinaco Anejo!
Also, we haven't firmed up anything on Pokerfest 2004 yet,
but many are lobbying for January in New Orleans.
For the inaugural Las Vegas Pokerfest, we had to tell people,
all seats at both tables are full."
But if you get in early, you'll get a seat for sure. If we get
lots of players, we'll play 3-4 tournaments.
Details will be announced on the members page.
"I hope you'll never lie to me."
to Tom Daschle after Dashcle expressed hope that they could work together
is next to cleanliness."
If that's true about Davis and Devolites,
that's just exactly par for the course for Republican hypocrits.
You can read right here how Ms. Devolite,
Republican guardian of all that is good and decent, instilled
traditional family values in her daughter,
who was convicted and sentenced to nine years for armed robbery.
Anybody know what Chelsea is up to these
days? Bet she ain't in prison.
My favorite quote from the story is:
Jeannemarie Devolites said:
"I think it's a shame that all the members
of the press that are here today do not
have the common decency to show
a family some privacy during a difficult time."
Isn't that what Jeb said about his daughter?
Strange how Republicans are always asking people to respect
the privacy of families except when it
comes to the Clintons. When it comes to the Clinton family, nothing
but public Congressional Hearings and Independent
Prosecutors will do.
It's also strange how Bill Clinton's lack
of character has only seemed to corrupt Republicans. Christ, two
of Clinton and it seems like every prominent
Republican in the country has been reduced to drug gobbling,
women groping, compulsive gambling, insider
trading, bribe taking, pathological liars with broken families
and criminal children.
No wonder they hate the guy! He nearly
destroyed the Republican party!
"Slander, criticizes Democrats for "calling
names. Yet Coulter is the queen
of name-calling, such as her assertion
that liberals are "savagely cruel bigots."
The Hollywood Shuffle by the Artful Dodger
The FCC & the Internet - a reader alert
Jimi Hendrix & 'Nam
Jerry Bruckheimer rules
Beyonce has permission from God to dress like a slut, but not kiss
("I have standards. There are things I will not do.")
'Whoopi' replacing 'Coupling'
Dead to talk on 'The Sopranos'
John Lennon, The Musical
Sting - MusicCares 'person of the year'
Gerhard Schulz - wildlife photographer of the year
Baby news - the Conan & Angie Harmon
Cheryl Hines & 'Father of the Pride'
George of the Jungle and the intimidating Caterpillars
QE2 to christen QM2
Johnny Cash memorial tribute lottery
Steve Irwin's theme park
Rupert Murdoch predicts
And, the inspiration for James Bond has died
troubles - fixed
EVERY picture that I grab off the web or from my mailbox is now
coming in as a BMP.
Any ideas or suggestions?
What you describe is a known flaw in Windows.
Usually, just emptying your Explorer temp
files/cache will solve it.
If not, further steps verified from Microsoft
P, thanks, that worked!
From: Mike Lackey
Subject: Sick Fuck
You are a sick fuck!
Your attempt at humor is worse than the
non comic, Al Franken.
If everyone else is a whore, bitch, or
lying sack, just what the hell are you?
Please keep it up, as your driveling shit
shows the true mentality of the left.
Who am I?
I'm the guy who would kick your ass in a live debate, ...that
if you had the courage to show up.
How long has it been since you had a size 11 boot up your ass?
You feeling lucky, punk?
You want to be my bitch for a half hour?
I could make you cry in a live chat room, want to see that happen?
Bring lots of friends, you're going to need help.
You feeling lucky, punk?
are bad for baseball
FOX Sports has been reporting record viewership (up 37 percent!)
for the playoffs, and that has
to be because it seemed, for a while, like it might be something
besides another Yankees series.
Nobody wants to watch the same old, tired rerun, year after year.
If this turns out to be a Yankee-Marlins game, New York and Florida
but those record ratings could become record non-ratings with
this same old, same old.
E-mail that I saw on Marty's
jammed-packed, fun-filled Entertainment page:
What happened to West Wing?
Have any idea why NBC didn't show a new
episode of either West Wing or Law & Order tonight?
They showed a rerun Law & Order Special
Victims at 9 and then a rerun Law & Order at 10.
I'll bet it was because the whole country wanted to see a new
team in the World Series, but nooooooooo.
NBC didn't want to air a great episode that nobody would see.
Last night, during the game, FOX aired a really unnecessary
ad produced by Budweiser.
We missed most of it, they might've played it only once, but
it was about "weiners."
They said something like, "If she liked
your ten-inch weiner, we've got a 12-incher for you,"
...and they showed someone holding a bun-wrapped, footlong "weiner"
in his or her hand.
Mrs. Bart said, "Oh, my God,"
It was very unnecessary.
It was like Howard Stern, without the class.
Dragon Lady Dowd hates everybody
Superstitions about a black cat, a billy
goat, a bambino and now, a Cub fan's mano morto. It is also the season
of the witch in politics. America's First
Baseball Fans, the former and current Presidents Bush, have their own
historical jinx with the land of Nebuchadnezzar:
you might call it the curse of Nebuchabunkport.
As soon as the Bushes think they've got
Iraq subdued, it flares up and foils them - turning victory sour and
sending saintly poll numbers wobbly. Every
time the Bushes think they've licked Saddam - who modeled
himself on Nebuchadnezzar, the dictator
who built palaces and stored arms in the Iraqi desert 2,600 years
ago - he comes back to haunt them.
"I wanted to go over the heads of the filter
and speak directly with the people,
because there's a sense that people
in America aren't getting the truth about Iraq."
-- too stupid to make change for a dollar
always want it both ways. FOX Whore News always brags that they're
yet the Never-elected Illegal Pinhead can't
reach the people with his lies about Iraq?
Sacrifices We Make
Bennett - Diseased Manatee:
"I plan to spend significantly less time masturbating
to internet pornography."
Saw it on http://genslab.com/
Subject: re: Nine Candidates
in Search of an Audience
I strongly disagree with Gene Lyons!
The more candidates we have speaking out and making news,
the more the message gets out that Bush
has to go. In a few months, we will be very close to having
just one nominee. At that point,
the republican machine will start beating the candidate up. Right
they can't beat up all nine, so Bush has
harsh criticism coming at him from all over which is good for us.
The other thing is that having candidates
from the left like Kucinich allows the left to have a voice and
allows for more diversity in discussion
of the issues.
I agree with
Gene, but we might both agree with you if the Democrats would stop beating
up each other.
They should be saying, "My plan is better
than his plan," but noooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
They're saying "His plan will ruin America
and cause cancer in small children."
That's a quote Bush will use against us
a year from now.
If they can't campaign without attacking
each other personally, they should get out.
Frankly, I wish Carol Mosely-Braun was a
viable candidate at least for VP. She's very bright and has great
I also like listening to Al Sharpton who
is also very bright. These people ADD to the discourse; they don't
from it nor do they detract from the other
"viable" candidates like Gene's favorite, Wesley Clark.
Speaking of Clark, I don't find him the
least bit exciting and I feel that he was pushed to run by the DLC
because they've been pushing for a republican-lite
all along. When Lieberman didn't take off, they got
Clark to run and gave him the Clinton-Gore
machine. I will, of course, vote for whichever Democrat is
nominated, but I resent people like Gene
urging people to drop out of the race so that his little star, Clark,
could start shining more. That's
ridiculous. It reminds me of when all the democrats were telling
to give up the fight in 2000 "for the sake
of the country."
San Rafael, CA
P.S. I like your new page. For
a minute I thought I was on the wrong site!
Maria, all I want in a candidate is someone who can beat Bush.
The GOP has made "Bush the war hero"
their theme and now they can't change it, so Clark takes away
their main asset. The bastards even pciked
New York City for their convention to say to voters, "We need
a military president."
Under Bush, terror will strike between now and the election, and
much as I might like them,
when it's time to go to war America won't rally behind CM Braun
or Kucinich. They may be fine
candidates, but not in 2003 and 2004 when our cities have giant
balls of flame shooting into the sky.
When that happens, America will elect the candidate with the
most military gravitas.
Joe Conason will be appearing this coming
Sunday, October 19,
on the C-Span program Book T.V. at 9:00
Ken, thanks for that. Plus, I have a good friend who's
going to be
interviewed on his Colorado ranch Sunday on the E!
October sticker placement contest!
To get your stickers, send a self-addressed envelope to:
PO Box 54466
Tulsa, OK 74155
OR, you could PayPal a small donation and get your stickers
within 48 hours.
stickers are free, but donations are accepted.
Get yours, then send in a digital photo of where you put it.
(Please don't vandalize anything with these stickers)
Here for the best October stickers
Polls show that Bush is still in trouble, but you'd
never know that by reading today's Washington Post
The Bush White House never pays any attention
whatsoever to polls, of course, except to spin them madly
from time to time. This week's official
message is that the president's numbers have suddenly "bounced back"
from the steep, sickening dive he experienced
during the past few months.
The truth is that some numbers are slightly
better in some polls -- including his personal approval rating
-- while other numbers remain unimproved
or are worse. He's still in trouble.
But today the presidential flacks are getting
some assistance from the Washington Post, which headlines its
coverage of the (poll): "President Rallying
Support in Polls." The story leads with the elated response from
the poll-free White House at news that
the boss' "six-month slide may have ended."
Not everyone shared that optimistic outlook,
however. Skeptics include the Post's polling partners
over at ABC News, where the headline is
"Poll: Bush Slipping."
The Washington Whore Post contuinues to cover for the Illegal
I'm so old, I remember when DC has TWO papers, one semi-left
and one right-wing fringe.
But the WWP saw there was extra money at turning journalistic
"tricks" so they sold out.
Won't Recuse Over Leak Inquiry
Several senior criminal prosecutors at
the Justice Department and top F.B.I. officials have privately
criticized John Ashcroft for failing to
recuse himself or appoint a special prosecutor to investigate
the leak of a C.I.A. operative's identity
Ashcroft has been involved with Enron, the B.F.E.E. and
Karl Rove for over a decade.
What a total sham this is for him to lead this phoney investigation.
Of course, there's no outcry from the Democrats and the press
because Bush can do no wrong.
We should compile a long list of "didn't do their jobs"
like this and the next time we get a letter from the
Democrats begging for money, answer them with
"Where were you on THIS one, and THAT one?"
Oh, and fuck the press.
Subject: from a fan
First of all, who gives a fat babies ass
about Siegfried and Roy.
Secondly, why are you watching Leno, who's
become nothing but a Republican shill
who bent over backwards (and maybe forward)
to get Arnold into office.
I admit some obsession with Roy's brush with death and I'm not
One thing, I was struck by Siegfried's optimism at the very beginning
when he said,
"Our life has been a dream, and I'm
certain the dream does not end this way."
That's a damn good attitude to have when disaster strikes.
Also, it's been said that with Sinatra gone, Siegfried and Roy
are the heart of Las Vegas.
Forgive me if I want Las Vegas to survive.
Plus, you have to understand that dozens of people read
this page and each page has maybe 20 topics.
It would be quite a feat if I could please dozens with each issue.
Hopefully the good outweighs the bad.
As far as Leno, I watch Dave and tape Leno.
Monday, he had the funniest woman in America and Tuesday he had
Heidi Klum in her undies.
Hell, I'd watch Drew Carey if he had Heidi in her undies.
Club a terrorist group under Patriot Act
Recently Pat Robertson, head of the Virginia
based Christian Broadcasting Network, made a remark calling
for the State Department to be blown up
with nuclear weapons. His full statement, commenting on Joel
Mowbray's book, Dangerous Diplomacy: How
the State Department Endangers America's Security, was,
"I read your book. When you get through,
you say, 'If I could just get a nuclear device inside Foggy Bottom
[State Department headquarters], I think
that's the answer.' I mean, you get through this, and you say,
'We've got to blow that thing up.'"
While not backing down, he later amended
"I mentioned the question of nuking the
State Department. Mr. Mowbray did not use the term 'nuke',
he said it should be gutted and I think
we ought to make that clear ... Joel did not say 'Nuke the State
Department,' so we've changed: We're not
going to nuke it, we're going to gut it," [Christian Broadcasting
Network website (www.cbn.com)]
Now let's look at Mr. Robertson's statements
in light of John Ashcroft's Patriot Act. Section 802 of
the Patriot Act states that a group is
deemed to be engaged in "domestic terrorism" if it,
"appears to be intended to intimidate or
coerce a civilian population; to influence the policy of a government
by intimidation or coercion; or to affect
the conduct of a government by mass destruction, assassination,
or kidnapping; and occur primarily within
the territorial jurisdiction of the United States."
I would say Mr. Robertson's call to nuclear
bomb the State Department is a textbook example of what
section 802 of the Patriot Act is referring
Attorney General Ashcroft, when will you
launch the investigation of the domestic terrorist group, the "700 Club?"
Glenn, don't hold your breath.
Our religiously-insane Attorney General
makes arrests on the basis of race.
If an Arab guy looks "funny," he's tortured
If a white guy says "Let's
nuke the State Department," he gets a
pass - he's not even looked at.
If a black guy gets caught with drugs, Ashcroft
demands the harshest penalty possible.
If a white, vulgar pigboy is caught with
drugs, he's gets rehab and Ashcroft's compassion.
Race is everything to these guys.
It's the single biggest reason Clinton
terrorist hunter's divisive views
A highly decorated general who is one of
the leaders of a secretive new Pentagon unit formed to
coordinate intelligence on terrorists and
help hunt down bin Laden, Saddam and other high-profile
targets has a history of outspoken and
divisive views on religion - Islam in particular,
"Well, is bin Laden the enemy? Next slide.
Or is this Saddam the enemy?
The enemy is none of these people I
have showed you here. The enemy is a guy called Satan."
What's scarier than a religiously-insane military with 10,000
American soldier body count in Iraq
Last issue it was
....this issue it's
kills since last issue.
Soon, we'll be at 400.
How long before we hit 600?
How long before we hit 1000?
Total deaths since President Giggles said, "Bring
1831 wounded - WOW!
16 more wounded?
and many of them are missing arms, legs and eyes.
How much more are we willing to tolerate?
Something on your mind?
You have two minutes to speak your piece.
- trust no one
There was a headline that grabbed me in
The Times on Saturday.
It said, "Cheney Lashes Out at Critics
of Policy on Iraq."
I thought, "that must have been an interesting
encounter." Then I read the fine print. Mr. Cheney
was speaking to 200 invited guests
at the conservative Heritage Foundation - and even they
were not allowed to ask any questions.
aloowed to ask questions because even Cheney can answer the simple ones.)
Great. bin Laden and Saddam issue messages
from their caves through Al Jazeera, and Mr. Cheney issues
messages from his bunker through Fox. America
is pushing democracy in Iraq, but our own leaders won't
hold a real town hall meeting or a regular
Out of fairness, my newspaper feels obligated
to run such stories. But I wish we had said to the V.P.:
If you're going to give a major speech
on Iraq to an audience limited to your own supporters and not allow
any questions, that's not news - that's
an advertisement, and you should buy an ad on the Op-Ed page.
During the Monica mess, the press constantly
hammered Clinton for not holding press conferences so
the jackals could pepper him with stupid-ass
questions about where his cock had been.
But today, we have hundreds of men dying
in Bush's Quagmire, and the press is silent.
There was money to be made screaming lies
and truths about Monica,
but there's no money to be made stopping
a war that's killing our men and draining our wallets.
My motto? - Fuck the press. They
gives whores a bad name.
a nice surprise from Kelly the Pillar
listening to the most recent BartCop Radio
and heard you wondering aloud
about when you'd said something about rush
musta been poppin pills.
so I did a search - found it in Vol
148 - We'll ALWAYS Have Waco
(Word for word from 1999 - except I added
ther word "interrupted" for clarity)
We're here live in Pigboy's third hour Thursday,
Sept 2. (1999)
He's acting drunker than Cooter Brown.
He's acting drunker than Bob Dornan on election
He's acting drunker than Bob Packwood at a John
Actually, my experience behind a bar tells me it's
He's not getting more drunk or less
drunk as the hours go by.
That means he's eating time-release pain killers
or muscle relaxers.
It's funny, he's slurring his words and speaking
slowly and deliberately.
Then, he goes to a commercial and the old, fast-talking
Rush sounds so different.
"Have we taken any calls
this hour? Huh? We haven't? Thought we did.
I owe you peebel
a quick get-to."
His ditto-logic isn't up to snuff, either,
Like a drunk, he's staying on his point loooooooong
after we get the drift.
If he was pulled over by a cop, he wouldn't be
allowed to proceed.
"Ladeees and ...gennelmin,
Monica's ...mother, Bernar Lewinsky got a...
what did she get,
...oh, a ledder fom the democratic comm, ...commitee
asking for... for munney,
What? ...I said
Oh, from Monica's mudder?
I mean fodder, ovviousleee"
Pigboy's on drugs, just like Governor Blow Monkey!
Uh-Oh, still listening to Herr Puerca, he just
Somebody shake the Pigboy, there's still 45 minutes
Now he's ragging on the Republicans!
He says they want big government to solve allllll
"We can't ask big gubment
to solve aborshen!
We can't ask big
gubment to clean up Horrywood!
We can't ask..."
then the caller interrupted and cut him off.
The way he's chastising the hippocrits,
you'd think he was reading RL-LNW back issues!
So, when Pigboy gets drunk - he tells the truth?
Hey, look at the clock!
Rush's show lasted 3.5 hours today!
Now, we're in the last ten minutes.
Pigboy is denying his speech is slurred, even
though he says he getting
"scores of people suggesting he get to a doctor
Hey, Pigboy, it gets worse than that!!
BartCop is taping you, you lying buck futter!!
I'm giggling like it's my first beer watching the
reels go 'round and 'round
on my tape machine while Rush denies he's slurring
Pigboy is so busted!
Rush just said, "My slurred
speech is miffical!" (mythical)
and he's "getting sick
and tired of all the calls."
Rush, this time I think you're right.
There's nothing wrong with your speech.
Those pills aren't affecting you at all.
I have a suggestion: Go home and take about
a dozen more pills
then wash them down with a quart of gin and take
a long nap.
Take a really long damn nap, you
Check out my big screw-up, telling Rush to take a dozen
I had no way of knowing he was eating a hundred per day!
I busted that bastard four years ago.
thought "We'll Always Have Waco" was one of the better titles for
an issue :)
Thanks to Kelly the Pillar for digging that up.
So if you have something important, something, that can't
wait, send it to Sam at email@example.com
She has my phone numbers and can reach me right away.
Can't get in the members section?
to reach Sam at her new address.
Have a good time today - that's not
just a suggestion, it's damn good advice...
Use this portal
and they'll throw bartcop.com four cents.
. .. .
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It had everything.
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