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America where are you now?
Don't you care about your sons and daughters?
Don't you know we need you now?
We can't fight alone against this monster
I'm having another one of those days.
We got the new computer - we won't know if it works until we get it hooked up.
We can't hook it up because the bastards at Comp USA gave me PS2 wires instead of USB.
We've already spent two hours at Wal-Mart spending $58 for a USB
mouse and keyboard.
Plus the KVH whatever is missing a cable so we're back to Comp USA for the fourth time.
Apparently this is the most technically complicated feat ever
attempted in Hellhole, Oklahoma.
We'll be down until I can find somebody in this backwater sewer who's smarter than me.
It could be days, it could be weeks.
Quote of the Day
"I predict that Pat Robertson in 2004 will
"The intensity among Democrats may appear to
result from the debate over Iraq, but its roots
go back to impeachment and Florida. Then, after 9/11, Bush betrayed the bipartisan consensus
that had supported the Afghanistan war by smearing the congressional Democrats as unpatriotic.
With that, in the 2002 midterm elections, he took back the Senate, rendering them impotent.
The Democrats' illusion of good faith had disarmed them. They had behaved as though they
were dealing with the elder Bush.
--Sidney Blumenthal, Attribution
begins with massive military mobilization in US cities
Black Hawk helicopters over Las Vegas, snipers in Times Square
These measures, aimed at terrorizing and intimidating the population, must be taken
as a serious warning of the aims of the Bush administration in 2004 and beyond.
The military and police mobilization over
New Year's failed to produce any arrests or
evidence of a terrorist plot. Yet this far-flung operation did not provoke the slightest
skepticism or criticism from within the media and political establishment. Not a single
voice - least of all from the Democratic Party - suggested that the government should
be required to substantiate its claims or justify its extraordinary measures.
This posture of unquestioning faith in the
good word of the Bush administration follows the
thorough exposure of its pre-war statements in support of war against Iraq - from lurid tales
of WMD stockpiles to allegations of Iraqi links to Al Qaeda - as a tissue of lies. No one on
the public airwaves so much as suggests that a government that lies in order to drag its population
into war should not be given a carte blanche to militarize all aspects of daily life within the US.
I can't see the B.F.E.E giving up their absolute power.
Once you've tasted wealth and unstoppable military power, human nature tells you to hang onto that.
Look for an "October surprise"
of spectacular terror to allow Bush to stay in the White House.
Since the press will report whatever propaganda Karl Rove feeds them, Bush will remain king.
"All this fuss about Judge Roy Moore and his
Ten Commandments monument...
What if his monument read, "There is no God?"
Would they still say he has a right to put the monument on state property?
--a letter to the editors of USA Today
in the Slammer, so why are we on Orange?
by David Hackworth
Was the price our warriors paid in blood worth the outcome?
Are we any safer than before our pre-emptive invasion?
Even though Saddam is in the slammer and
the fourth-largest army in the world is junkyard scrap,
Christmas 2003 was resolutely Orange, and 2004 looks like more of the same. Or worse.
(I think Hack is saying Dean was right.)
Our first New Year's resolution should be
to find out if the stated reasons for our pre-emptive strike
- Iraq's purported WMDs and Saddam's connection with al-Qaeda - constituted a real threat to our
national security. Because, contrary to public opinion, the present administration hasn't yet made the
case that Saddam and his sadists aided and abetted al-Qaeda's attacks on 9/11. We also need to know
why our $30 billion-a-year intelligence agencies didn't read the tea leaves correctly, as well as what's
being done besides upgrading the color code to prevent other similar strikes.
Rumsfeld, Wolfowitz and Tommy Franks should
be required to report to a congressional committee
convened to investigate both the invasion and the planning - or lack of planning - for the occupation of Iraq.
Subject: your free radio show
I tried to listen to the free preview courtesy of perkel.
everytime i clicked on 'listen' it asked
for a password. I mean, what the fuck!
you expect people to subscribe but half of your column is about how fucked up your system is.
get your shit together and maybe you could pick up a couple dozen more subscribers for christ sakes!
p.s. ; your political opinion is right on
it's the one sight that i read everyday
Lige, that frustration you're feeling?
Imagine that multiplied by a hundred, then living with it for a full year.
Imagine having something to say, and knowing
dozens of people willing to listen,
but my two Dixie-cups-and-a-string Windows/Soundblaster/M-Audio equipment
are less compatable than Jeff Goldblum's Mac and the mothership in Independence Day
If I could afford a tech, I'd hire one.
Twice, I've flown Tommy to Tulsa with my
free air miles, but he can't come here everytime my
sound card blows up because it happens weekly. Lots of people want to help, but you can't do
sound issues over the net. You have to be in my studio to hear what's going on.
There's no reason on Earth why that stupid
password box should pop up.
The files were in the same directory as the pictures, and they require no password.
The downloads worked, but not the "instant load" technology.
Things really aren't supposed to be this way.
I'm fifty, I've been around long enough
to know the odds of something working.
It's just not possible that this expensive equipment can break every day and then stay broke.
Even with new tires on smooth streets, I get 3-4 flats every day in the first mile of driving.
Perhaps a new computer that's never connected to the net with help?
It's impossible that it keeps happening,
but it does - it makes no sense.
The most logical assumption is that God has a personal vendetta against me.
Subject: my two cents on Dean
Bart... thanks for posting the "Wes Clark
bandwagon" letter by a Dean-iac.
I agree with his take, and here's my two cents....
I, too (along with your respondent/letter
writer below) am getting a little bit frustrated
at the relentless "Dean CAN'T win" comments at your site. I've heard that for months
and months - pretty much every time I try to say to any of my Dem friends "You know
that Dean, he's saying all the right things..."
But Dean keeps doing things right, surviving
the occasional gaffs and shark attacks and
media-whore misquotes. (I no longer try to be a Dean booster among friends).
LJBK, I don't think I said "Dean can't win," but lots of people have "read" that on this page.
I'm saying General Clark can take away Bush's biggest weapon without saying a word.
Tell it to the hand - I don't care.
Get Howard Dean
Howard Dean is the front-runner for the Democratic nomination because he's not afraid to act like a Democrat.
He talks about the things that matter to working people afraid of losing their hard-won middle class status -- their
health insurance, their kid's school, their next job, the security of their retirement. And he gives it to the Republicans
with the bark off. He seems happiest when he's mad as hell, and this appeals to the kind of people who vote in
Democratic primaries because they're angry too. They're angry because the Republicans are getting away with
murder and the Democrats have spent most of the last three years on the ropes.
Marty's Entertainment Page
Britney Spears Weds in Vegas
Britney Spears marched down the aisle in Las Vegas on Saturday, marrying Jason Alexander
at the Little White Wedding Chapel on the Strip, according to People.com. The bride wore jeans
and a baseball cap, according to People.com, and had a hotel bellman walk her down the aisle.
This only caught my eye because it was so sad.
I love the idea of suddenly getting married in Vegas, but this poor kid is becoming Macaulay Culkin.
She made so many multi-millions as a kid but she really has no idea what's going on.
I mean, what girl hasn't fantasized about getting married in jeans and a baseball cap?
How romantic to have some hotel bellman walk you down the aisle.
I think our little Britney got drunk at The Palms and made a vodka decision.
Once the most famous virgin on the planet, Spears was passed around
Hollywood like a bad script.
And who does she finally marry?
We should've known the Madonna kiss was a desperate cry for help.
We should've known all that public nudity was an SOS from a woman in distress.
Britney Seeks Annulment
An unnamed source close to singer told People.com that the wedding
was a joke that went too far and Spears is planning an annulment.
Yeah, she sobered up the next morning and said, "I did f-ing what last night?"
Subject: Dean bashing
What's up w/the Dean bashing?
Are you trying to drive Deanistas from your site?
Dozens of readers
OK, new rule:
I won't print any more of these unless you quote an example of my "bashing."
If I say, in my opinion, Secretariat could outrun
Seattle Slew, that's not
bashing Seattle Slew.
They were both great horses, but you can't always fit two entries into the Number One spot.
I've often said there can be a difference between what's being
said and what's being heard.
People are reading bad things about Dean at bartcop.com that aren't being written.
Also, I find it curious that I've seen no Deaniac e-mail addressing what seems to be the the central issue.
If you believe this election
will not be about fear, terrorism and the military - please explain
If you believe Dean can out-military the Four Star General - please explain why.
If you believe another four years of Bush won't be that bad - please explain why.
I realize facing the facts can be politically risky.
I could be all "Dean is the man and Bush is in trouble," and get more/bigger donations.
As always, I'm not sure I'm right, but when people are unwilling to address the central issue - when
people find themselves unable to answer the questions, it reinforces the possibility that I could be right.
Would it be a better world if we could change the facts?
Yes, but since we can't, we have to play the cards we're dealt.
This is going to be a long, emotional and heated political year.
Like the nine demo candidates, we shouldn't be attacking each other.
We have to remember Priority One is getting rid of the murdering monster.
"Should we forgive Pete Rose for gambling?
God, it's been 14 years.
It didn't take us that long to forgive Japan."
-- a friend of Pete Rose on whore NBC, saw it myself
Subject: Howard Dean, ...Tiger Woods
I understand your worry about Howard Dean, we all just want to make damn sure we do all we can to get rid of Bush.
I, for one though, am not so sure that Bush
would own Dean when it comes to national security issues. Not if
willing to stick to his guns and continue to make Bush accountable for the mess we are in. All he has to do is run daily ads
featuring endless clips of news stories of the tradgedies in Iraq.."Ten Soldiers Burned to Death in Iraq today" "Five Year Old
Iraqi Boy Shot Through the Head Today", "Riots Against Americans in Iraq Turns into Bloody Shootout" "Terrorism on the
Rise in Iraqi Towns." "Hatred for America On the Rise" "America on Highest Terror Alert Since 9-11".....
Maybe he can end each ad with a simple "Who were the people responsible for 9-11?"
I am already collecting stories for him.
The press can't play dumb forever.
Bush's strength may be his weakness.
P.S. Stick with your hunch on Tiger Woods, he is a self-absorbed crybaby.
Golf Professional (We are not all republicans)
Pete, you have a good point about Dean, but in my opinion, Clark
is already there.
You're describing steps Dean could take to get where Clark already is.
(Of course, this will be seen as an attack on Dean, which it's not.)
Next time you see Tiger, tell him I'll lift the very effective
Apologizes to Clinton for snubbing him
Gives a million to the United Negro College Fund
Stops blaming others when he misses a putt.
Subject: crunching the Bush campaign
Last week I was so broke the dems turned
my contribution down.
All I could afford was five dollars.
The guy who called me said that processing it would actually lose money.
So how's this for a cute passive aggressive
Everybody sends the Bush reelection fund a check for a dollar.
That sounds like a good idea.
I'll mail them a check for a buck and see if they cash it or throw it away.
Here's the B.F.E.E. address:
BUSH-CHENEY '04, Inc.
P.O. BOX 10648
Arlington, VA 22210
Mention bartcop.com - get another 10 percent off!
Things to do today:
Buy another computer, install defective Sound Blaster sound card
If that works, get in funny mood, record radio show
NCAA Football Championship
Observations and suggestions
Jessica Simpson sang the national anthem.
She sang it very well, ...like a professional singer would.
I had no idea she could sing.
Terry Bowden gets some kind of award, but I can't think of the
right name for it.
Thursday night, he was "Terry Trojan," screaming ever so breathlessly into the TV camera,
"Nobody can say USC didn't win this national championship. You can't even argue with that."
Last night, he was all, "You can't argue
with the computer - Oklahoma is Number One."
I won't say he's a prostitute, because maybe he just wised up.
Did you see the Ford pickup commercial just before the game?
Live, right there on Bourbon Street,
they gave three old white men in blue shirts keys to three different Ford pickups. One of the three
engines started, and suddenly one old, white man with a blue shirt had won a F-150 for life.
BTW, have you seen that radical new Chevy pickup?
I don't even like pickups, but that looks like fun.
When LSU scored first, the Superdome went f-ing berzerk
Mrs. Bart muttered under her breath, "Enjoy it while you can."
She's no Sooner football fan, but she knows that "Sooner Magic" works.
Carville was in a pre-game skit, saying football trumps politics.
We liked the Snoop Dogg halftime show.
I think everyone exonerated for murder should have an NFL halftime show.
Early in the third quarter:
Cajuns ahead 21-7.
This is no time to panic.
There's lots of time to panic in the next 45 minutes.
Oklahoma has too many guns to think it's over.
Contrary to what you think you saw, LSU did not maul Oklahoma.
My sources in Norman say there was no mauling.
It seems that Oklahoma fell down and LSU, Oklahoma's good friend,
merely picked up the team and dragged them off the field to protect them.
When Number Two beats Number One, that makes them Number
Today, LSU should be nartional champions with Southern Cal maybe getting a little piece of the title.
Order your CDs today!
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Currently shipping shows 20,
22 and 23, (There was no Show 21
because the host can't count.) professionally mixed by Tommy Mack.
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Safire predicts "major terror attack" on eve of 2004 election
The alternatives given by Safire in item 13 on the "October surprise" are:
(a) the capture of bin Laden;
(b) the daring escape of Saddam;
(c) a major terror attack in the US;
(d) finding anthrax in Tikrit.
Safire's pick is (c).
Is the perpetration, or at least allowance,
of such an attack being discussed within
government, intelligence or military circles as a serious option for keeping Bush in
power in 2004, regardless the sentiment of the electorate?.
Why would Safire raise this issue? He's saying they'll either do the attack or allow it.
Even if bin Laden hates all Americans,
he must hate Bush more than, say Dean.
bin Laden knows an October surprise would help Bush, so why would he help him?
Or is Safire suggesting bin Laden is still on Bush's team?
That's not as crazy as it sounds.
Thanks to Osama, Bush is the most powerful person in all of history.
Thanks to Bush, Osama is the most famous and respected Arab warrior in history.
Thanks to Osama, Bush's family will make a trillion dollars.
Thanks to Bush, Osama gets the Jihad that could unite all Arab countries - under him
The B.F.E.E. certainly knows how to structure a deal.
Statement from Bushwatch.com
Bush Watch has won About.com's political
comedy vote in its category in both 2001 and 2002, but this year
it has been put in a new category, "Most Entertaining," head-to-head against the highly advertised winner of
this year's Academy Award who is a millionaire, lives in a Manhattan high rise, sends his kids to private school,
and spends much of his time advertising himself and his ideas on national talk shows. Yes, THAT Michael Moore.
Unlike Mr. Moore and the other members of the category we find ourselves in, Bush Watch does not accept
campaign money, hard or soft. We can only ask for your kind vote and, together, pray that About.com is not
using Diebold voting machines. --01.04.04
This reminds me of the strange nominating proceedures at the Emmy
For years, they would nominate Letterman in the same category as the Oscar telecast,
last year's Emmys, a skiing show and a documentary on the Holocaust.
Bushwatch.com is entertaining, yes, but in a "just
the facts, Ma'am," kind of way.
Bushwatch is a news site, like Buzzflash and DU and Michael Moore.
"Most entertaining" would seem to indicate tequila, poker, monkey pictures and Shirley.
Charges in Crocodile-Infant Stunt
Steve Irwin dangles baby near croc, says there was "no danger"
Irwin drew fire from child welfare groups, but no charges would be filed for a stunt
in which Irwin fed a crocodile with one hand while cradling his month-old son, Robert,
in the other on Friday in front of an audience.
This was not a smart move.
Whenever I taunt a crocodile, I leave the baby inside the house.
I like Steve Irwin, but he's plenty nuts.
If you have something important send it to Sam at firstname.lastname@example.org
Thanks to Gene at apj.us
Click to Enter
and the World
saw it on hammernews.com
Dean, unlike past Dems, doesn't back down or change course when advised by the pundits or
weak-kneed advisors. He is confident in the accuracy of his positions and soundness of his morals.
Al Gore could have dissected Bush like a biology class frog in the debates if handlers hadn't tied him
in a straight jacket of 'be nice' restrictions.
Bush Scandals of 2003, Part I: Iraq
saw it on democrats.com
1. Bush's Big Lie: Iraqi WMD.
2. 479 Dead Soldiers, Thousands of Dead Iraqis, and $166 Billion - in 2003 Alone.
3. The Treasonous "Outing" of Valeria Plame.
4. Creating an Empire.
5. Principal War Crime: "Aggressive War."
The networks, talk radio and the big newspapers
have all joined the Bush team.
The only places where you can find the real story are internet sites and foreign newspapers.
The one on the right looks more honest.
So who was the Biography of the Year?
Of course, there's nothing about it on biography.com
All is says is, "Be sure to watch on Dec 14th to find out."
Don't you hate it when a big money web site is three weeks out of date?
Subject: you asked for criticism
Well Bart, it's three o'clock in the morning and I just finished listening to the first part of FREE Bartcop radio.
Your delivery style is irritatingly staccato.
You constantly sound like there are sentences immediatly inside your headbone that want out so badly that they
crowd the speech coming out in front of them. Come on Bart, you're a musician and you should already know this.
If you want people to listen to you, delivery is 97.3 percent of the quotient making them want to hear your show.
Well, there you are, criticism of the radio
I don't think it's too irrelevant.
My small brain is working like a 386 processor, doing its best to keep up.
I will try to organize my thoughts better for Show 24.
Subject: bartcop radio
I am listening to your radio show; you remind
me a lot of the radio show by "Grandpa" Al Lewis
(yes, that Grandpa..and just as feisty) You can hear his show on WBAI-FM in New York City
(www.wbai.org) called "Al Lewis Live" from 12:00 noon to 1:30 pm (EST).
Unfortunately, "Grandpa" has been in the
hospital recovering from heart surgery and partial
amputation of his foot. He is planning to come back soon, and it would be nice for your readers
to hear some of his show and get angry as well.
Angelo, thanks - I think.
Grandpa Lewis is, like, a hundred years old, and I remind you of him? :)
American soldier body count in Iraq
Last issue it was
....this issue it's
Plus, at least
wounded for Bush's illegal oil grab.
Rush should stop whining
Rush Limbaugh is sounding more and more like Michael Jackson.
Now it's Rush's turn to weep: "I'm a victim!"
His attorney, Roy Black, even had the gall to ask:
"Why is Rush Limbaugh the only person treated like this in America?"
Whom does he think he's kidding?
Thousands of Americans are treated like that every day.
The only difference is: Most of them aren't zillionaires.
Most of them can't afford to hire lawyers like Roy Black.
And most of them go to prison, not to some fancy Arizona rehab resort.
You may already know this, but if you go
to http://google.com and enter "unelected
and then hit "I'm feeling lucky".... well... it takes you directly to bartcop.com
Subject: GOP veracity
You are lying again.
> "...I mildly dislike Tiger Woods, but I hate Dallas like the GOP hates African-Americans..."
(1) You were addressing God in whom you do not believe.
Did you consider the possibility that it
was a joke?
(2) You strongly dislike or hate Tiger Woods.
Yes, but compared to the Cowboys, I love
(3) The GOP does not hate African-Americans.
Does that mean you like Dallas,
because that is what you are saying acknowledging your lie about the GOP.
If the GOP
doesn't hate blacks, explain why your side won't vote for one.
I dare you to print this so your "fans"
and other readers can see clearly what a fake and a liar you are.
You are the source of enormous misinformation and disinformation.
If I'm so chock-full of disinformation,
why did you cite "You hate Tiger Woods," as your proof?
BTW, how do you get the Internet up in your tree?
That is why you get little mention in bigger
media sources because once they have read one day's column
they realize your website is laughable and not believable.
Dude, it's a comedy website - you're
finally catching on that the joke's on you.
Saying it's "laughable" is a compliment, you hairy ape.
You are a source of their scorn and derision.
If that was true, they'd write that.
Truth is, they'd have to know me to hate me, but they don't
Why don't I give you a banana and then you can run along....
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Maggie, please contact Sam@bartcop.com with your choice of prize and address.
Subject: not important
No, nothing important, just a thanx.
Never expected to find such hope from Oklahoma.
My x wife's from Guymon, OK.
I'm hailing from Liberal (not) California
where people seem to think
of the shrub as some kind of deity. Hey, you do good work - thanx again.
Roy, thanks from both of us.
SKB leaves Dean, endorses Wesley Clark
The events of 9/11 have made national security a top priority. Although they wrap themselves in the flag
and talk at length about national security, the Bush administration has done little or nothing to actually make
us safer. In fact, they have done some really stupid things to make us less secure while at the same time
infringing on our civil liberties. It almost seems that the Bush administration is the real enemy of liberty and
the more dangerous threat to freedom. Despite promises to increase funding for homeland security, Bush
has instead cut funding at every opportunity. He seems to believe it is not spending on security, but rather
tax cuts that somehow make us safer.
Wesley Clark will not put partisan politics
and special interests before the security of the American people.
Defense is his life-long profession. I'd venture to guess that he knows a thing or two about it. When he was
asked to serve he stepped up and did his duty with honor, and he will do so again. His plan will provide
better security by hiring, training, and better equipping first responders, law enforcement, the Coast Guard
and Customs, and others responsible for our first line of defense.
Something on your mind?
Then listen for your voice on...
You have two minutes to speak your piece.
The first Evil GOP Bastard of the Year for 2003
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Tom Delay Is Target of Probe?
Authorities are conducting a criminal investigation into whether corporate money,
including hundreds of thousands of dollars linked to Tom DeLay, improperly financed
the Republican Party's takeover of the Texas Capitol.
Delay is invulnerable as long as the crooks have all the power in Washington.
He won't be investigated - this is a handjob/sideshow to make us think he was
investigated but the Bush investigators will find no wrongdoing by this little squirrel.
"I'm nuts about
They only investigate Democrats because they're willing to take it.
How 'bout them Cowboys?
They lost, BIG-time, so it was a great weekend.
Actually, had they found a way to win it would've been OK, because
I'd have another chance
to watch them lose next weekend. Since they got their ass handed to them by Carolina,
I'll have to wait until next year to see them hang their heads in defeat.
Towards the end of the game, the camera cut to a blue-haired Carolina fan in the stands.
He was holding a rat trap in his hand, with a rat dressed in a Cowboy uniform caught in the trap.
Use this portal
and they'll throw bartcop.com four cents.
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...... . ..
Wesley Clark Krugman Conason
Bart uses ctyme.com hosting because it's the best!
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright '© 2003, bartcop.com
If your GOP workplace doesn't want you to
see the truth, use these mirrors.
Shrl, when the equipment in her studio doesn't work right.
I know what it's like, Shrl.
Shrl, call The BartPhone,
just to say "Hi!"
Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!
You can call the Bart-Phone at 918-493-1500
That would be really cool, and we'll catch you at The Jointon your next American tour.
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