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America where are you now?
Don't you care about your sons and daughters?
Don't you know we need you now?
We can't fight alone against this monster
Major Breakthru - Remember this? This is exactly how it appeared on the page.
> We settled on a certain HP model, but when he went to fetch it - they
were out of stock.
> So I asked for the next step up and he tells me "For another $20, you can get a DVD writer
> and a faster processor," so I told him, "Yeah, I got twenty bucks." It's hard to believe, but they
> actually had this one in stock, so I said, "Make it so," and off he went to find the sales manager.
Can you spot the clue?
If you can spot the clue, you're smarter than me (easy to do) and you have a right to call me names.
USA handjob upgraded me from a CD writer,
which makes BartCop Radio work,
to a DVD Writer and guess what - you see that sign outside BartCop manor that says,
You see that sign?
No, you don't see that sign,
and do you know why you don't see that sign?
The reason you don't see that sign is because
BartCop Television ain't my f-ing business.
That's why you don't see that f-ing sign."
(My Tarantino impression)
<does a shot>
I'm not in the televison business - I'm in the radio
The motherless huns at Comp USA took an extra $20 from me to erase the CD writer from the deal.
That's why we have no audio because the Movie Writer was busy looking for the video!
Some of you thought I was lying.
Some of you thought I was too stupid or drunk to operate the equipment.
Some of you thought I was coasting and not trying hard enough to take care of business.
(That's all true to some degree - sometimes, ...but I gotta have this radio show.)
No, this is the state of American business today.
Nobody knows their business and nobody cares.
Take their money, assure them they bought the best
product at the best price
and once the credit card clears, screw them and don't waste a lot of money on
Vaseline because ancillary expenses are up .01 percentso no more Vaseline!!!!
I told Comp
USA when I bought this that it had to be
right the first time, and they
all smiled and patted me on the head like I was some old man mumbling to himself.
Guess what, Comp USA - you missed!
No wonder the myriad of techs couldn't help me, I was lying
to them when I said I *had* a CD writer.
I want to thank very nice tech-savvy lady named Mary Lynn or Mary Lou.
She discovered the clue after spending a lot of time working on this.
Trust me, working closely with Ol' Bart under a ton of pressure
when the facts before us
make no sense at all isn't something anybody would look forward to, but Mary Lynn ? (I'm sorry!)
was so helpful, and thanks also to her husband Tom for making everything come together.
The Bad News:
So, we have learned that our Corvette has no engine.
That doesn't mean an engine will make everything OK, it just means that getting an engine
rules out the "I wonder if it could be the engine?" theory, so progress is being made.
It seems like, for months and months, we've been at the
two yard line.
We're two yards from scoring but powers and forces have conspired with God and Fate
to prevent this too-entertaining-for-words radio show from taking flight on the web waves.
A lesser man mighta broke, but my mind is a steel trap
- ...or is that lead?
Oh, and a special thanks to the people who write in each day to
"Dipshit, if you had a Mac, you've never have a computer problem as long as you live
and every problem would magically melt away if you just had the brains to switch."
Yeah, ...and Chinaco would sponsor the Radio Show and Shirley will be on the Bart Phone tomorrow.
I'm at the two yard line.
I don't want to learn how to play soccer or tennis - I'm at the two yard line.
I just want to punch it in the end zone and make fun of the Illegal Monkey
There are techs from three
separate companies coming tomorrow - wish me luck.
VCR Alert - On 60 Minutes this Sunday, fired Treasury Sec Paul O'Neill says,
"In cabinet meetings, Bush acts like a blind man in a room full of deaf people."
Basically, he says Bush is just as stupid as we've always known he is - it's must see TV!
Quote of the Day
"I don't want to die here.
"Richard Clarke was Director of Counter-Terrorism
in the National Security Council.
He has since left. Clark urgently tried to draw the attention of the Bush administration
to the threat of al Qaeda. Right at the present, the Bush administration is trying to withhold
documents from the 9/11 bipartisan commission. I believe one of the things that they do not
want to be known is what happened on August 6, 2001. It was on that day that George W. Bush
received his last, and one of the few, briefings on terrorism. I believe he told Richard Clarke
that he didn't want to be briefed on this again, even though Clarke was panicked about the
alarms he was hearing regarding potential attacks. Bush was blithe, indifferent, ultimately
irresponsible. The public has a right to know what happened on August 6, what Bush did,
what Condi Rice did, what all the rest of them did, and what Richard Clarke's memos and
statements were. Then the public will be able to judge exactly what this presidency has done."
--Sidney Blumenthal, risking his life speaking out like that Attribution
closes in on Dean's lead
as many consider switching votes
Wesley Clark's military credentials and disciplined manner are attracting some Democrats
who had been leaning toward Howard Dean for their party's presidential nomination.
Clark's unexpected surge in this week's
USA TODAY/CNN/Gallup Poll, twinned with
Dean's constant battering from rivals, has put them just 4 percentage points apart. Clark
also moved into second place in a New Hampshire poll.
As a result, several candidates expanded
their attacks to include Clark.
The Pitiful Seven are determined to win this election for Bush.
Last time we only had one Nader.
This time we got a half a dozen of them, busy writing scripts for Bush. When that ass Lieberman says,
"Dean can't be trusted with the presidency," Bush will quote him this summer,
"The Democrats who know Dean best say he can't be trusted."
Clinton and McAuliffe should go to the Pitiful Seven and make them get out.
& Democracy Hypocrisy
Part 2: The Hypocrisy at Home by Nat Perry at consortiumnews.com
While claiming to export democracy to Iraq, the Bush administration has been undercutting
democracy at home. U.S. public debate -- even about the life-and-death issues of war and
peace -- is now dominated by bogus information and ridicule of dissent, with those trends
already reaching into Campaign 2004. January 5, 2004
served with personal 9-11 R.I.C.O. complaint
If he has a case, this lawyer will be murdered by the evil men stealing billions
On Friday, Philip J. Berg, attorney for 9-11 widow Ellen Mariani in her Racketeer Influenced and
Corrupt Organizations Act (RICO) suit seeking to hold President Bush and various government
officials accountable for the September 11 attacks, served Bush and top officials in his Administration
with a personal summons, the original complaint and the first amended complaint via a federal process
server, as required by the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure.
Among those served besides the President, were Cheney, Rumsfeld, Ashcroft, Rice and Bush the Smarter.
Berg told TomFlocco.com
"the multiple summonses and complaints were filed last week and they require
an answer within 60 days," adding "we feel confident that we'll be successful, and that the evidence in this
case is so strong, it will lead to the end of the Bush presidency."
The only question is will it be a "suicide" or a plane "accident."
Maybe Bush will declare Berg an "illegal combatant," and drag him to Gitmo.
"George W. Bush is going to run in 2004 on
the idea that his administration is the only one capable of
protecting us from another attack like the ones which took place on September 11. Yet the record to
date is clear. Not only did they fail in spectacular fashion to deal with those first threats, not only has
their reaction caused us to be less safe, not only have they failed to sufficiently bolster our defenses,
but they used the aftermath of the attacks to ram through policies they couldn't have dreamed of
achieving on September 10. It is one of the most remarkable turnabouts in American political history:
Never before has an administration used so grisly a personal failure to such excellent effect.
Never mind the final insult: They received all these warnings and went on vacation for a month
down in Texas. The August 6 briefing might as well have happened in a vacuum. September 11
could have and should have been prevented. Why? Because Bush knew."
--William Rivers Pitt, Attribution
from the Heartland
by Richard L. Fricker
Actually they didn't cash in, they sold out. And, they didn't need the Fascists
they were standing there in hot pants and high heels waiting for a "date."
The day Nina Totenburg told a group of private
college school girls that women
reporters didn't take after Janet Reno over Waco because, "She was a stand up guy"
was the day the music died. There are lots of other examples from Iran-Contra forward,
but basically it become profitable to pull down Bill Clinton's pants in public, because the
right had money and they knew whores when they saw them.
Marty's Entertainment Page
falls and the price of fame
by Gene Lyons
In a momentary fit of pique, I sent an e-mail to a pal the other day announcing my plan to
write a column urging Rush Limbaugh to confess and Charlie Hustle to shut up and go away.
"Don't you have that backwards?" he responded. Upon reflection, I realized he was mostly right.
The bombastic star of rightwing talk radio can't confess any more than he already has without
risking serious jail time, while the unrepentant baseball player Pete Rose has no sins left to admit
except betting against his own team, which few who saw him can imagine he ever did. What the
two have in common besides grandiose egos, however, is that neither knows the meaning of shame.
Boy, do I disagree with my good friend Gene Lyons on Pete
I did a radio rant rebuttal, but it didn't sound very good - even on the new computer.
I will continue to struggle with it.
A letter from Madonna
I've never done this before. But life is
about taking risks is it not?
I know that people seem to pay attention to everything I do.
Big or Small. Ridiculous or Sublime.
So I am hoping they pay attention to this:
I am supporting General Wesley Clark for President.
Not only as a "celebrity" but as an American
citizen and as a mother.
I want my children to grow up with the same opportunities that I had - to know
and understand what's going on in the world and to travel that world safely and with pride.
Now I'm asking you to join
Predictions Sound Very Familiar
by Joe Conason
After reading and hearing "unelectable" for weeks and months, insiders who want to be quoted
know what they must say. A top Democratic consultant describes the leading candidate as almost
fatally gaffe-prone when responding to negative stories. "It's not so much the thing he did that was
so bad," the consultant explains, "but how he handles it, and people remember how he handles it."
Another top Democratic consultant concurs gloomily: "The doubts already exist and they're
becoming harder to dispel."
And a third top Democratic consultant hints
that disaster is looming: "The negatives are forming on
him like a political stalactite, drop by drop. The halls of Congress are filled with Democrats wringing
their hands over their prospective nominee."
The former Democratic Mayor of New York
describes his party's leading candidate as "so flawed"
that he has "no possibility of defeating President Bush."
They must be talking about Howard Dean.
Actually, all those remarks were uttered about Bill Clinton in the spring of 1992,
On the Bush/Hitler comparison:
Man, are the Republicans touchy.
They've gotten so right-wing, they even get mad when someone insults Hitler.
Mrs. Bart announced that she's no longer eating or cooking beef.
"What we're trying to do is to manage the force
now so that we don't have
a falloff in recruitment or retention a year from now, and then have a gap
where we have to scramble to rectify that."
-- Rumsfeld, on a plan to pay soldiers up to $10,000 to re-enlist,Attribution
"Man, they can't pay me enough to stay here...there's
not enough money
in the world to make me stay a month longer."
--a 23-year-old specialist from the 4th I. D. Attribution
discovers inroads on campaign trail
Gaining in Poll, Retired General Becomes a Target
Clark's spokesmen professed themselves delighted by the attention from Dean and others.
"They are feeling Wes Clark's hot breath on the napes of their necks," said Clark aide Chris Lehane.
He mocked Dean's recent complaint that Terry McAuliffe was not doing more to enforce a civil debate
among the nine candidates seeking the nomination. "Howard Dean was pleading for the DNC as if the
DNC was his mother to protect him from others in the field. Now in the face of changing polls,
suddenly he's begun to engage in the same old politics."
In 2000, none of the pretend GOP candidates ever said, "Bush
is too stupid to be president,"
because they wanted their side to win. Instead, they took turns saying what a great, qualified and
smart man Bush was, all the while pretending it was a debate.
Our side wants to lose.
Obviously Clark's people know 100 times (make that 500) more about
how to run a campaign,
but from where I sit, I think all Clark needs to do at this point is look presidential and forget about
slinging mud and daily insults with Dean and the Pitiful Seven and the nomination is his.
Subject: Mike Malloy
Bart, you Jackass,
Here is the pic I just got from Mike Malloy.
Start running this one instead of that sentimental little picture of him.
Yes, Mike is the anti-Christ,
...destroyer of man,
...the Devil's personal minion.
Are you really going to back that northeastern commie Howard the Dean?
Dean, drunk and dosing on X, hurling off
a cliff in a Morman buggy
would make more sense than the Illegal (and never-elected) Monkey.
He'll shut you down if he takes over and
will keep Ashcroft
in office to watch over you and the other dorks out there.
Ben Dover... Ben Dover...that name seems familiar...
I remember now - you used to be a porn star, but then you went
exclusively into gay porn.
I looked you up on imdb and they say your last film, Grand Theft Anal, was your best work ever!!
Good to hear from you.
We don't get that many celebs here.
rolls in his grave
a review in Variety
Docu asks, "Could a media system, controlled by a few global corporations with the ability
to overwhelm all competing voices, be able to turn lies into truth?" Refrains from preaching
to the choir but if its biting analysis proves true, film is unlikely to ever be presented to the
general public. Indie arthouse and cable venues therefore beckon..
Slamdance Tenth Annual Film Festival
January 17-24, 2004
Park City, UT
Order your CDs today!
BartCop Radio Shows on CD for just $25.
Currently shipping shows 20,
22 and 23, (There was no Show 21
because the host can't count.) professionally mixed by Tommy Mack.
Remember, if you PayPal, mention your address.
Saddam was captured by Kurdish forces
Kurds keep special status
Bush has decided to let the Kurdish region remain semi-autonomous as part of
a newly sovereign Iraq despite warnings from Iraq's neighbors and many Iraqis
not to divide the country into ethnic states, American and Iraqi officials say.
The officials said their new position on
the Kurdish area was effectively dictated
by the Nov. 15 accord with Iraqi leaders that established June 30 as the target date
for Iraqi self-rule. Such a rapid timetable, they said, has left no time to change the
autonomy and unity of the Kurdish stronghold of the north, as many had originally wanted.
If this new position came about on November 15, why did they wait so long to announce it?
More likely, the Kurds said, "We have
Saddam. If you want him, let's make a deal."
If the press and the Democrats never call Bush on any of his lies, why should he stop?
If you have something important send it to Sam at firstname.lastname@example.org
Monkey Mail from 'The Angry Indian'
I say, full power forward. I have honestly never been so amused in my life. White trash is panicked
because it has finally been officially labeled as such, panicked and looking for the way out, begging
through sites such as yours that it is not really as low as the indians and niggers and spicks.
Get a clue: it's your lack of intelligence.
I will never vote for that asshole Bush, but I will laugh when he inevitably wins just to see you
motherfuckers quashed once and for all, for every Indian scalp in your fucking Okie cupboards!!
Click to Enter
Think Tank Report: Iraq WMD Not Imminent Threat
Bush administration officials "systematically" misrepresented the danger of Iraq 's WMD programs,
which were not an immediate threat to the US and the Middle East, a report from a U.S. think tank says.
The Carnegie Endowment for International
Peace said in its study, "WMD IN IRAQ: Evidence and
Implications," that there was "no convincing evidence" Iraq had reconstituted its nuclear program and
that U.N. weapons inspectors had discovered that nerve agents in Iraq's chemical weapons program
had lost most of their lethal capability as early as 1991.
This is not news.
Anyone who reads bartcop.com knows this was a phony war from the beginning.
What is news is everybody figured out Bush lied and nobody is doing anything about it.
Dean and Clark are raising some hell, but they have mo power to launch an investigation.
The Democrats who have that power
- Kerry, Liebermen, Edwards and Gephardt,
are mute when it counts and they should be ashamed of their lack of courage.
We'd rather not rock the boat 'cause Dubya is our friend.
The one on the right looks friendlier.
So who was the Biography of the Year?
Bart's Law Number Six
NEVER upgrade because the upgrade is designed to screw you to death.
I don't mean to brag, but when I'm hard at work on a computer,
I am much faster than the computer.
This latest computer I was forced to buy?
It's a Pentium 4 with somewhere around 2.6 or 2.8 speed, and it slower than my 286 was ten years ago.
If you have a computer that works, trust Ol' Bart and never
upgrade it for any reason.
I talked to 8-10 techs today, and 3 of them said they couldn't help me because they had the
brains to opt out of Windows XP and they had no clue of how to help me.
You see, all their programs work.
In 1998, the internet was so young and innocent, the files loaded
onto alt.binaries.multimedia were
so pure and innocent, I remember a guy uploaded a 7-Up commercial to see if the technology worked.
I posted some never-seen live Led Zeppelin, some never-seen Fleetwood
Mac, some Evil Kneivel jumps etc.
For a while, I was the most prolific multimedia rock n roll poster in the whole world, ...but then I upgraded.
Now, nothing f-ing works, and everything is f-ing screwed, so take it from me (and the experts I talked to today.)
Bart's Law Number Six - NEVER upgrade
If you do, ALL your programs will become useless and you'll end
up as frustrated as Ol' Bart.
How many more months can I stand to have the Gates hourglass mock me and then watch it crash?
I will pay any price to make this torture stop.
What I won't do is pay someone $1000 to tell me they've never seen this problem before.
I have a thousand things to say but I'm gagged by the incompetence of Gates and Friends.
This has to end very soon,
It's very tough to continue against impossible odds.
I have to conquer this in the next day or two...
I see Bush is tweaking the Bill of Rights again...
named most pointless celebrity
Bush, Blair named 'more feared' than Osama by Brits
George Bush was picked as The Most Feared Person, followed by Tony Blair.
Osama bin Laden, the world's most wanted man, could manage only third.
...you see, in England they have a press not owned by the B.F.E.E.
American soldier body count in Iraq
Last issue it was
....this issue it's
Probably next issue we'll have 500
brave American soldiers killed for Bush's fake war,
the economy is still crashed and millions of families have no income,
yet half the country is pleased with the Monkey's performance.
Plus, at least
wounded for Bush's illegal oil grab.
David Hackworth says ten percent of the 130,000 have been med evac-d.
Tonight on Joan of Arcadia, the previews show her
asking God to let her see the future.
God says, "OK," then we see flashes and Joan is found passed out on the floor of the church.
USA Today's only certain non-whore, TV critic Robert Bianco says,
"The 2003 TV season has had more tha its share of disappointments, which makes this
risky show's dramatic achievements all the more miraculous," calling Joan of Arcadia 'excellent.'
I can ditto that.
Laura the Unloved on Larry King tonight
The previews claim she has a lot to say about Scott Peterson and
Michael Jackson, but she'll have "no opinion,"
about Pigboy's heroin habit or the gambling monkey on Bill Bennett's still-smoking back.
Because Rush and Bennett have R's behind their name and Laura the Weedwacker is a Republican whore.
on the Loose in New 'Sopranos'
TV's best show returns March 17
Mobsters fresh out of prison and on the loose provide the impetus for the fifth season
of HBO's drama "The Sopranos," series creator David Chase said.
A New Jersey newspaper story about organized
crime figures prosecuted in the 1980s inspired him,
Chase told the Television Critics Association on Thursday.
"The Sopranos," which returns March 7 with 13
new episodes, begins with the "Mafia class
of 2004 hitting the streets," Chase said, speaking to the group via satellite from Paris.
Tonight, Dave has comedian Charlie Hill, with whom I'm not familiar.
Maybe he has a bunch of Clinton BJ jokes and Dave likes him for that.
People's Choice Awards Sunday, ...other than that, it's
a football weekend.
I'm going to miss not seeing Dallas lose.
Gary Hart Said to Be Mulling Senate Bid
Gary Hart is seriously considering a challenge to Sen. Ben Nightwhore Campbell.
"It's serious enough that he's pondering the 'how
to' aspect of the campaign," said one
Democratic official. "He thinks if he got in this race he would win, but he's got a lot of
other factors that weigh into this and this is obviously a big jump."
Hart has not set a timeframe for making
a decision, and he declined to comment on his prospects.
Several polls have pit Hart and Campbell head-to-head with favorable results, said the source.
Hart is one of three people who predicted 9-11, so that alone
should give him anti-terror cred.
I'd like to see him de-throne the Nightwhore traitor, who was once a Democrat - then turned whore.
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Something on your mind?
Then listen for your voice on...
You have two minutes to speak your piece.
mushrooms under Bush
Another broken promise from the never-elected fraud
Conservatives wait warily as President Bush makes final decisions about his election-year budget,
three years into an administration on whose watch spending has mushroomed by 23.7%, the fastest pace in a decade.
While Bush has emphasized repeatedly the
need to rein in spending, overall federal expenditures have grown to an
estimated $2.31 trillion for the budget year that started Oct. 1. That is up from $1.86 trillion in President Clinton's
final year, a rate of growth not seen for any three-year period since 1989 to 1991.
You see? They're always lying.
The GOP always talk about "less government," then they spend more than any Democrat ever has.
Reagan spent more money than every president from Washington to
The unelected moron has spent 23 percent more than Clinton.
If we had a free press or a second political party to point this
out, people might understand.
But they don't, and almost half vote GOP because Bush, Reagan and Bush claimed they'd spend less.
Bob Magaz----, I need your e-mail address to get you in the members section
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Market research shows that S.U.V.s tend
to be bought by people who are
'insecure, vain, self-centered, and self-absorbed, who are frequently nervous
about their marriages, and who lack confidence in their driving skills.'
- Ben Greenman in the New Yorker Attribution
did Ashcroft remove himself from the Valerie Plame Wilson inquiry?
by John Dean
On Jan. 2, NBC News reported that the FBI was focusing on the White House as the probable source of the leak.
It also reported that the FBI had asked White House staffers "to sign a form releasing reporters from any promises
of confidentiality they may have made to their sources."
Not only does none of this activity indicate
an investigation that is being scuttled, but it also clearly implies something
noteworthy has happened in the investigation.
Maybe Karl Rove can get the cell next to the vulgar Junkie.
Use this portal
and they'll throw bartcop.com four cents.
If you spend $250,000- they'll send bartcop.com $10,000.
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...... . ..
Wesley Clark Krugman Conason
Bart uses ctyme.com hosting because it's the best!
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright '© 2003, bartcop.com
If your GOP workplace doesn't want you to
see the truth, use these mirrors.
Shrl, call The BartPhone,
just to say "Hi!"
Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!
You can call the Bart-Phone at 918-493-1500
That would be really cool, and we'll catch you at The Jointon your next American tour.
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