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 We can't fight alone against this monster...

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  In Today's Treehouse...
Ashcroft in intensive care
The Passion Of The Liberal
Jobs a problem for Usurper
Liberals, bare your teeth
McCain defends Kerry on Nam
NYWTimes fires Ted Rall
Survivor sexual assault?
Holy Anorexia, Batman
Lots of Nader voters talk


Quote of the Day

"It is forbidden to kill; therefore all 
  murderers are punished unless they kill 
  in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets."
  -Voltaire, who saw Bush coming  Attribution

The first 'president' 
with a criminal record,
but nobody knows how bad it is
because the press is afraid to ask.

Support Bartcop.com PO Box 54466 , Tulsa, OK 74155PayPal to bartcop@bartcop.com

Volume 1268 -  You're no Jesus

Click for details and to order

  Friday      March 5, 2004


"I know that it's over for me. I have been really good at predicting my career and I know when
  I'm outmatched.  It's over for me as a broadcaster. I'm checkmated. All they gotta do is fine us
  and then we're gone. And there's nothing we can do about it. If you don' t think me going after Bush
  got me thrown off those stations, you got another thing coming. This has nothing to do with anything I said."
    --Howard Stern, friend of Bush, Whitman, Pataki and Guiliani, finally realizing that his rock n roll lifestyle doesn't fit
       with the jack-booted Nazi's who want to deny Americans the right to free speech.  Stern Feels Bush-Whacked

 Howard, you're how old and you're finally learning what's real and what's not?
 How does a free speech rock n roll guy get into bed with Nazi's to begin with?

 Ashcroft in Intensive Care With Pancreatitis 

  Click  Here

 John Ashcroft (R-Eichmann) has been hospitalized in an intensive care unit for a severe case
 of gallstone pancreatitis, a painful condition that usually clears up within a week with treatment.

"After a full medical work up in the emergency room, it was determined that he was suffering
 from a severe case of gallstone pancreatitis," Corallo said. "He was admitted to intensive care
 for careful monitoring and is being treated with antibiotics."

 Corallo said he expects Ashcroft will spend a couple of days in the hospital

 ...a couple of days of pain.

 God certainly has a sense of humor, doesn't He?

 The Passion Of The Liberal 
   by Ann the Gutter Queen

  Click  Here

"In the dozens and dozens of panic-stricken articles The New York Times has run on Mel Gibson's movie
"The Passion of the Christ," the unavoidable conclusion is that liberals haven't the vaguest idea what Christianity is.
 The Times may have loopy ideas about a lot of things, but at least when they write about gay bathhouses and
 abortion clinics, you get the sense they know what they're talking about.

 But Christianity just doesn't ring a bell.
 The religion that has transformed Western civilization for two millennia is a blank slate for liberals."

 Christ would be so pleased that this hateful female is speaking for Him.


"There are seven sins in the world :
  Wealth without work
  Pleasure without conscience
  Knowledge without character
  Commerce without morality
  Science without humanity
  Worship without sacrifice
  Politics without principle."
   -- Mahatma Gandhi   Attribution

 Take away the "Knowledge without character" and you have Bunnypants.

Visit www.deckofbush.com for your deck today!


"Karl Rove has modeled the Bush presidency on that of William McKinley (1897-1901)
  and modeled himself on Mark Hanna, the man who virtually manufactured McKinley.
  Mark Hanna saw to it that Washington was ruled by business, railroads, and public utility corporations."
    --Bill Moyers, who the Freepers got fired from PBS   Attribution

 Subject: a Catholic story

 We were actually told that if we had no intention of having children,
 we should not get married because that would be a mortal sin.

 Incidentally, a nun told us that.

 Terry C

 It goes without saying that sex is evil.
 Catholics - you gotta love 'em

 Jobs a growing problem for Bush

  Click  Here

 Bush's campaign argument that "America is turning the corner" under his leadership
 suffered a setback on Friday with a report that the labor market mustered only
 21,000 new jobs last month, far fewer than anticipated.

 The small gain disappointed White House officials who had hoped for stronger evidence
 of a recovering labor market and fueled Democratic attacks that Bush should be thrown
 out of office in the Nov. 2 election.

 The numbers dashed any hope that the employment this year would average 2.6 million jobs
 above last year's level, as the White House projected last month in a an economic report.
 Meeting that forecast would require adding 300,000 jobs a month this year -- a figure
 that far exceeds most private forecasts.

 I'm raising my bet to $200 that Bush can't break even on job in his failed four year term.
 But nobody on the internet will take that bet because they refuse to bet on a failure.

 What did Patton say?
"Everybody loves a winner and we will not tolerate a loser?"

 Wall Street won't bet on Bush, no conservative on the internet will bet on Bush - because he's a loser

 Some say he came from England
 Some say he came from Spain
 But John Henry was nothin' but a Louisiana man
 And he died with his hammer in his hand

 Lord, lord, lord, he died with his hammer in his hand
 Steel drivin' man, he died with his hammer in his hand
 Lord, ain't nothin' but my hammer suckin' wind....

 I've mentioned my world-class live Zeppelin collection.
 Most nights, Plant would introduce John Bonham as "John Henry Bonham."

 If any rock drummer ever had a hammer in his hands it was John Bonham.
 I got to hear three Bonham solos live, and a hundred or more on tape.
 Mongo impressed, even tho he lost to Karen Carpenter in the Playboy poll.


"I support a Consitutional Amendment to define 'marriage'" as it is in the Bible.
  Multiple wives and huge dowries. If we're going to have laws based on religion, let's do it right.
    -- Baron Dave,  in an e-mail

 McCain defends Kerry's war record

  Click  Here

 John McCain came to the defense of John Kerry, on Friday by attacking the credibility
 of a Carolina veteran who has dedicated himself to defeating Kerry in his campaign for president.

 McCain, a Republican, called the man, Ted Sampley, "one of the most despicable people
 I have ever had the misfortune to encounter."

 Sampley once called McCain, who was held captive for five years in North Vietnam,
"the Manchurian Candidate," a reference to a 1962 film in which a Communist-controlled
 candidate nearly becomes his party's candidate for president."

Marty's Entertainment Page

 NYWTimes fires Ted Rall
  Did Karl Rove phone the NYWT?

  Click  Here

 Rall believes The New York Times Web site stopped running his cartoons this week
 because it was tired of dealing with e-mail campaigns from conservatives who don't like his work.

"I've been canceled from a lot of newspapers," Rall told E&P. "It comes with the territory. But this
 [the reluctance of some papers to deal with reader complaints] is nothing short of appalling. It needs
 to change." If newspapers don't have the personnel to handle hate mail, said Rall, "just delete it."

 The Freepers are organized and they fight as a team.
 The democrats are afraid to fight.
 It's that simple.


"Most of Hollywood and most of the media will be happy to see me gone. They will not fight
  for my First Amendment rights, because they don't like me. I make fun of them. I goof on them.
  I'm dangerous to them. Everyone wants me to go down. They've been praying for this for 20 years.
 How come the F-word and the S-word are going out on other shows? Don't they own KIIS-FM in LA?
  Didn't Ryan Seacrest's first day have the F-word and the S-word? Why was the guy not fired?"
     --Howard Stern, questioning Clear Channel's (R-Nazi Bastards) motives    Attribution

 Howard, be thankful you don't own a bicycle.
 Clear Channel tells their listeners to murder them.
 All you're getting is fired.

 Poor you!

 Also, Howard, you have your $300 million, so easy on the tears.
 Millions of Americans with no savings lost their jobs because of this insane thief.
 Hundreds have lost their lives for his nasty oil snatch, so stop whining.


 I'm reading a lot of great e-mails about things I said I didn't want to talk about.

 Survivor sexual assault?

 Did anyone see former Survivor winner Richard Hatch 'sexually assault' Susan
 (I-wouldn't-spit-on-you-if-you-were-on-fire) Hawk last week (not last night) on Survivor?
 As you may remember, Richard is the gay guy who was always naked on Survivor One.
 I only mention that Richard is gay because Hawk told the others she would file a $10 million
 lawsuit against him and she was so upset she exited the competition early.

 I didn't see it, so I have no opinion.
 I heard it, but the damage was done before I had a chance to look up.
 Whatever happened, it happened on camera, in focus, witnesses just feet away, etc

 They had a contest where people tried to push each other off a plank and Richard
 apparently made a crude gesture or something, but again, I didn't see it.

 Click  Here  if you saw it and have an opinion.

 Subject: Jesse Ventura is angry


 Jesse Ventura was interviewed on a local PBS show in Boston today.
 He said he ususally votes for an appropriate 3rd party candidate for
 President because he is so disgusted with the two major parties.

 This year, he is tempted to vote for the Democratic candidate
 because he is so angry with Bush.  I hope than not only does
 he follow through, but tells all his friends.


 Liberals, bare your teeth
   It's time to return fire

  Click  Here

 Like it or not, the president who came in promising to unite us has created, in only three short years,
 the most polarized and the most bitterly politically divided country since Reconstruction. His team has
 created more anti-American hatred around the globe than has ever previously existed in history. Those
 same political strategists have shown that they will stop at virtually nothing to gain and exercise power,
 and will do so almost exclusively to enrich their hyperwealthy friends and feed their warped ideological
 crusades -- crusades that, if presented honestly, would be rejected by the vast majority of their
 countrypersons and the rest of the world.

 This is a war. It's being fought like one, whether or not we participate, and we are all targets.
 We'd better start acting like our asses are on the firing line. They are.

 ...but, ...but, ...but what if that makes Karl Rove mad?

Click  Here

  An excerpt from Show 29

  Click  Here

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Isn't it odd that America and the Democrats don't really care
what Bush knew about the coming 9-11 attacks?

There should be a million people in the streets
demanding that Bush give the 9-11 commission
as many hours as they want, under oath, on live TV.

Funny, they'll march for WTO, but not 9-11?

If Bush is innocent, why won't he cooperate?

 Subject: Socialized medicine for Iraqis

 HHS Secretary Tommy Thomson is proposing American's pay $950 Million to finance
 major medical care for all Iraqi's.  Here in Tommy's home state of Wisconsin, doctors refuse
 to treat patients with medicaid because the reimbursement formula gives them so little for any
 care they might provide the indigent.

 Is it me, or is something really screwed up with this bunch?

 Joe, this is a really screwed up bunch.

 Several e-mails lately from lefties that say, "I'm definitely ABB."

 ...I hate it when I'm the last to know.

 This phrase won't hit the Oklahoma Territories until 2007.
 Can someone tell me what ABB is?

 I need a Secretary of Hip, ...preferably a sassy, African American.
 I know this will cause screams of 'sexism,' but I want a sassy black  woman
 to explain the real world to the extra-white Oklahoma chimp, ...am I'm the bad guy?"

 Alt is a plus.

 ha ha

(Not sure what "alt" means, but it's like, "What else you got?"  hopefully...

 Click  Here  if you're a sassy black female who wants to be Sec of Hip


"Clear Channel had no problem hiring him after comments like that, because he's pro-Bush."
    --Stern, on why Clear Channel hired Mike Savage (R-Necropheliac) after he was fired by MSGOP
       for saying a caller was a sodomite who should "get AIDS and die.  Attribution

 Howard - friends of Bush can say anything and get a raise but critics get fired and blacklisted.
 Why do you think Helen Thomas is the only honest reporter in Washington?
 It's because she's in her eighties and the BFEE can't ruin her future.

 Jesus, how can you just now be coming to this conclusion?
 If you read  bartcop.com  you would've known this in late 1999.

 You know that Captain Janks prank caller guy Stern used to have on?
 Looooooooong time ago, maybe '98 or so, he listed  bartcop.com  as one of
 the best/funniest sites on the web so I always figured Stern knew about it

 ...another  bartcop.com  error

 VCR Alert

 God tells Joan, "Next time you see someone who needs help, ...help them."
 Next day, she sees a woman crying on the bus.

 It's a damn good episode.
 If you've never seen the show, this might be a good intro.

 Subject: Bush in class at Harvard

 Here's how one of Bush's professors at Harvard Business School recalls him:

 I still vividly remember him. In my class, he declared that "people are poor because they are lazy."
 He was opposed to labor unions, social security, environmental protection, Medicare, and public schools.

 To him, the antitrust watchdog, the Federal Trade Commission, and the Securities Exchange Commission
 were unnecessary hindrances to "free market competition." To him, Franklin Roosevelt's New Deal was "socialism."

 He hasn't changed at all, and our country is much the worse for it, as Professor Tsurumi explains.


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 Holy Anorexia

  Click  Here

 Rudolph Bell's book Holy Anorexia (1985) concentrates on Italian saints, and is especially rewarding for
 connoisseurs of the spiritually lurid. St Maria Maddalena de' Pazzi lay naked on thorns. Saint Catherine of
 Siena [did bad things]. One confessor ordered Veronica Giuliani to kneel while a novice of the order kicked
 her in the mouth. Another ordered her to clean the walls and floor of her cell with her tongue; when she
 swallowed the spiders and their webs, even he thought it was going too far. Scourges, chains and hair shirts
 were the must-have accessories in these women's lives. Eustochia of Messina stretched her arms on a DIY
 rack she had constructed. St Margaret of Cortona bought herself a razor and was narrowly dissuaded from
 slicing through her nostrils and upper lip. St Angela of Foligno [did bad things]. And what St Francesca
 Romana did, I find I am not able to write down.

 ha ha

 Starvation was a constant in these women's lives. It melted their flesh away, so that the beating of their hearts
 could be seen behind the racks of their ribs. It made them one with the poor and destitute, and united them
 with the image of Christ on the cross.

 That last bit reminded me of Mother Teresa.  Christopher Hitchens (R-Severe Liar) said Mother Teresa
 rejoiced in poverty because it was Jesus-like while running a multi-million dollar enterprise. This is his
 allegation, as best I remember it, so if that makes you angry - write to him.  Hitchens is the guy who calls
 Nancy Reagan, Hillary and Mother Teresa "whores."

 I read that article, and it's Exorcist-like spooky.
 For instance, nuns are married to Jesus (or God, I forget) so why are their wedding dresses black?

 This is a spooky article, not for the squeamish. I mean, being made to lick the floor in the shape
 of the cross until your tongue bleeds makes me very thankful that all the nuns ever did was beat us.

 ...but maybe that's where Bill Bennett getst his S&M need to be sexually dominated.

 Does his Vegas dominatrix wear a nun's costume?

 Subject: There's the rub


 Last night on there was a clip of Dubya speechifying in California. He was on stage
 with a bald black man who was behind the podium, I think introducing Our Fearless Leader.
 The Mayor of L.A.??

 Anyway, as GWB stepped up to the mic, he rubbed the black man's head,
 with his usual shit-eating grin.

 Now, am I the only person in America who has heard of the lovely practice of "rubbing a
[black person]'s head for luck? Generally it was a joke amongst those who didn't generally
 say "black person" when referring to one. It may well have faded into obscurity.

 Hell, in my neighborhood, by the time I was a teenager (late 60s-early 70s),
 it would have been a good way to lose a hand.

 But I'd BET that Dubya knows exactly what it means. That SMIRK was on his face....
 He is one smarmy, clueless twit.


 Click for a great short movie

 Subject: Show 29

 Hey Bart

 Show 29 was tight!
 Though I miss the tag team with you & Mack.

 I've heard that "Money is applause" and it's also support,
 so when I get some I'll send it along.


 Dude, thanks.
 Tommy was moving in Show 28, and had no ISP for Show 29.
 He was waiting for the cable man to arrive when I talked to him today.
 He'll be back permanantly real soon.

 Nader and voting in the year 2004

  Click  Here

 There were a lot of replies.
 I think everyone who voted for Nader wrote.

 Bush's American soldier body count in Iraq
 Bush lied, and caused 550  Americans their lives - and counting.



"What good is a smile
   when your head's in a vise?"
     -- Norah Jones, unreleased song, from Rolling Stone

 I guess she's been watching Bush...

 Subject: Your VCR alerts

 Love the website but I would love to see your VCR Alert contain some insightful, informative programming such as:

NOW with Bill Moyers
News Hour with Jim Lehrer
Noam Chomsky's appearance on the CHARLIE ROSE SHOW

 I certainly think these programs would be more educational, and we both know an educated voter
 is W's worst nightmare, and would better serve our cause (Dethroning Bush) than this mindless pablum:

 You wrote:

> VCR Alert - World Poker Tour Season Premier - Tonight on Travel Channel

> Plus, Stephen King's Kingdom Hospital and a new West Wing.


 Art, I can think of a dozen cool web pages that are no more because the authors burned out.
 I can't afford to burn out, so I combine the mindless pablum with the essential.
 One must be ready for the fight the next day, next week, next year.

Do you have an opinion?
Do any GOP impressions?

Call the

Then  listen for your call on...

You have two minutes to spit your bit.


"How can you tell the story of the Bush administration and leave out 9/11?
  That's the core of what happened."
    --David Gergen,   Attribution

 ...yet some people are still willing to vote for him.

 We put $3687 on the credit card for a new Mac G5 and monitor so Tommy can edit radio shows,
 (Hey - I finally bought a Mac! :)

 $3678 - cost of new computer.
 $3031 - raised.    We're so close to home, I can smell Mrs Bart's cooking.

 If you'd care to donate, you could contribute via PayPal by Clicking  Here
 (Oddly, it helps if you send an abby-normal amount, like $51 instead of $50)

 If you prefer the mail, our address is  bartcop.com  PO Box 54466   Tulsa, OK  74155

  Show 29 is up.

Subscribe today!

 Extra thank yous to the subscribers and Mac donators.
 Your contributions allow us to continue beating up the Bush monkey and his Nazi gangsters.


 By the way - I am forced to leave the radio links on the main page.
 It's not intended as a taunt to non-subscribers, but keeping up with two different pages
 each day was more than my IQ of 64 could handle.  At least twice a week I'd get
 e-mail saying, "I'm on the members page - where are the radio links?"

 Since I erased them for the main page, I'd have to reload each of the 14 links
 and that takes time and time is something I didn't have enough of a month ago.
 I have to simplify things as things get more complicated.

 Subject: I have an idea

 When I  go to your sight, I always make a mental note of the title of the issue.
 You sometimes explain it a few days later. I try to guess what the meaning is as I read.

 Most of the time I can't figure it out.
 Why not have a "contest" for readers to name the reason for the title?
 It might bring some back to check out if they "won".
 Just a thought.


 Dave, I've waited years for your e-mail.

 Sometimes the title is the best pun on that day's page.
 Sometimes it refers to a line buried deeeeeep in some link that day
 but sometimes it means nothing at all.

 In the old days, maybe issues 50-200, I would have an issue ready
 but I'd hold it for days waiting for the perfect title to jump into my head.
 These days, I don't have time to hold Jack, so sometimes it's deep and sometimes it's fluff.

 Today's title is from an e-mail I got about some group doing some song.
 It struck me as something I might say to the illegal fraud if we ever met.

 Not sure about a contest, but I always figured if I met somebody who didn't
 believe I was Bart, we could run thru a few hundred titles and I could explain
 what each meant and that would prove it was me. (I worry about weird things)

 I always thought a great question one could ask the subject of an interview was,
"What's the question you've always wanted to be asked, but nobody's ever asked it?"

 For me, you just rang the bell.

Garry Trudeau offers $10K to anyone
who saw Bush show up in the ANG

Click for reward details

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 That would be really cool, and we'll catch you at The Joint on your next American tour.

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