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  In Today's Treehouse...
Ashcroft: It's Clinton's fault
Bush stakes election on war
Bodies may be U.S. Civilians
D-r-i-v-e   b-y   N-e-w-
US tactics condemned by Brits 
Probe needed on Falluja? 
Transcript from live chat
Tom Delay shows his ass
To Condi Rice: 'You are a liar'


Quote of the Day

"Look, nobody likes to see dead people
  on their television screens.  ...I don't."
   --the Greed Monkey, in the worst performance
      ever for a Commander in Chief  Attribution

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Volume 1294 - Suiciders, maimers and stove-pipers

Got a business or a web site that needs clicks?

  Wednesday   April  14, 2004      Have you done your taxes?


"When you tell people that you are writing a book about fanatics in the Bush administration,
  many, perhaps most, assume that it will consist of 350 pages about John Ashcroft interspersed
  with a few gibes at Karl Rove and Richard Perle."
    --Arianna Huffington,  Attribution

 Ashcroft: It's all Clinton's Fault

  Click  Here

 John Ashcroft laid the blame for the 9-11 attacks on Clinton as the panel highlighted flaws in the FBI.
"The simple fact of September 11 is this, we did not know an attack was coming because for nearly a
 decade, our government had blinded itself to its enemies," Ashcroft told the commission.

"The old national intelligence system in place on September 11 was destined to fail," he said.

 That must be why Ashcroft and Bush fixed everything between Jan 20, 2001 to Sept 10, 2001, right?

 Bumble Monkey Stakes Re-Election on Iraq
  That's a bet I'd like to get a piece of...

  Click Here

 President Bush  said he would stake his re-election on a successful outcome in Iraq
 at a rare prime-time news conference on Tuesday night where he said more U.S.
 troops might be needed to stop the violence and transfer power to Iraqis.

"We have set a deadline of June 30. It is important that we meet that deadline.
 As a proud and independent people, Iraqis do not support an indefinite occupation
 and neither does America," he said.

 So here's the scenario Bush has created:  He wants this Sadr guy dead or in jail.
 When he first broke that news, Fallujah erupted, 50 Marines died and his Iraqi
 Governing Council threatened to resign, so ...Bush asked for a cease fire.

 How the hell do you invade a backwards nation - and then ask for a cease fire?

 And think, over the years, how many times have you heard the right wing nuts say we can't
 be in the UN or NATO because that might mean, in some cases, our troops might be commanded
 by some Frenchie or some EYE-talian, but in the present circumstances, our troops are working
 with (under?) some wacked-out, Iraqi Shiite religio-crazies.

 Basically, the clerics said, "Stop fighting or we resign," and Bush quickly called for a cease fire,
 so they're giving the orders to our fighting boys now?

 ...and on top of all that, he's getting ready to kill this Sadr dude, who is the Council's (and stability's) glue.

 ...and on top of all that, if he's successful at killing Sadr, all of Iraq will go Fallujah on us.

 ...and on top of all that, he's betting his election (not re-election) on Iraq's success?

 If there weren't so many dead and maimed people - this would be funny.

 Bodies Found May Be U.S. Civilians 

  "We had to disarm the madman..."

  Click  Here

 The unidentified bodies of four people who may be among the seven U.S. civilian contractors
 missing in Iraq since their convoy was attacked last week were found on Tuesday, a senior U.S. official said.

 A U.S. official who asked not to be named said the four bodies were found in the vicinity of an attack
 on a fuel convoy in Abu Ghraib, west of Baghdad, where the seven KBR contractors disappeared on Friday.

 Two U.S. soldiers also vanished in the incident and a Reuters photographer who visited the scene saw
 at least nine dead bodies, many badly burned.

 Remind me - why are these people in Iraq being set on fire?.

Click to Vote Bush Out


"If they're trying to find a peaceful way out of this, great. But at this point, there seem to be
  few options other than to get innocents out and level it, wipe it clear off the map."
  --1st Lt. Frank Dillbeck, just outside Fajullah   Attribution

 That's possibly related to this next story...

 US tactics condemned by British officers
  "American violence is over-responsive to the threat"

  Click  Here

 Senior British commanders have condemned American military tactics in Iraq as
 heavy-handed and disproportionate.

 One senior Army officer told The Telegraph that America's aggressive methods were
 causing friction among allied commanders and that there was a growing sense of
"unease and frustration" among the British high command.

 The officer, who agreed to the interview on the condition of anonymity, said that part
 of the problem was that American troops viewed Iraqis as untermenschen - the Nazi
 expression for "sub-humans".

 I believe our men are frustrated, tired, in near shock, probably under-fed and covered with
 sand flea bites. When you're in that situation, and don't forget bullets whizzing by and mortar
 shells exploding around you, I can understand them shooting first and then asking questions later.

 Care to comment?

Get your giant Chinaco mug


"I really don't care; they're all gonna die."
  --Lance Cpl. Ryan Christiansen, 25, who says he's unfazed by
     concerns that the gunmen may be using the cease-fire to regroup,  Attribution


 D-r-i-v-e  b-y  N-e-w-s

 Scalia apologizes for seizure of reporters' tapes
  Appointed-for-life Nazi thug says it wasn't his fault

  Click  Here

 Police Probe New Michael Jackson Molestation Case
  Are police going to investigate him to death?

  Click  Here

 Microsoft Warns of 'Critical' Flaws in Windows
  1, It crashes constantly    2, It's very, very slow   3,  It fixes what's working

  Click  Here

 Ewan McGregor Plans Round-The-World Trip
  I don't know why anyone would think this fluff is news

  Click  Here

 Kerry faces questions over Purple Heart
  The GOP hate machine is working overtime

  Click  Here

 Human Rights Watch: Probe Needed on Falluja 
  How did so many civilians end up dead, their bodies shown on Iraqi TV?

  Click  Here

 A U.S. military offensive in Falluja last week in which 600 Iraqis may have died has
 raised concerns about excessive use of force and needs immediate investigation.

 Civilians who fled the fighting described the streets of Falluja as being littered with bodies,
 including women and children, and Iraqi politicians have accused U.S. forces of meting out
 collective punishment on the city's residents.

 Before we went into Fallujah, I asked the question

> What are they going to do?  Murder the whole town?
> Odds are, the cameras didn't record the attack on the SUV last week that killed the four contractors,
> so they're not going to identify the killers, so that means they're going to kill the people in the crowd
> who were disrespectful to the corpses?  What is their objective?  Are they going to kill people who
> kicked the charred remains?  Besides "showing resolve," what is their goal?

 As you know, sometimes I hate being right.

  Care to comment?

 Dollar Up on Renewed Economic Optimism
  "Up" as in higher than yesterday?  Let me guess: a three-year high?

  Click  Here

 The dollar posted sharp gains against major currencies on Tuesday after robust
 U.S. economic numbers signaled the U.S. recovery is on a firmer footing.

 "Sharp gains?" in relation to last year at this time?  Or five years ago?  Where's the chart?

 "Robust" numbers? Compared to when?  Two years ago?  The thirties?   Where's the chart?

"Today's retail sales report completes a bracing one-two punch, following the non-farm
 payrolls report two weeks ago, which is likely to rally both the U.S. stock market and the dollar,"
 said Michael Woolfolk, senior currency strategist at Bank of New York ...and no doubt a Republican.

 Horse hockey!
 The Dow lost 141 points that day - Tuesday.
 All these glowing economic "news" stories are written to praise the Monkey.
 Why can't the economic news bare some semblence to the damn truth?

 Instead of giving us the facts, they heap praise and make rosy (and false) predictions
 that make people think the economy is coming back - and I say it's not.


 Subject: Count me out

 Sorry buddy, I'm pulling back my massive $10.00 a month.
 I hate the Bush administration as much as any reader of your page.
 But the NWA photo using Condi Rice was more than I as a black person can subscribe to.

 No hard feeling, keep swinging your hammer.

 Yeah, I lost a lot of subscribers over the Condi pictures.
 It's hard to please all the people all the time.
 Did you think my intention was to insult all African Americans?

 Maybe there's a black thing associated with NWA that I don't get.
 (Yes, I know what it stands for)

 I know... maybe I could assemble a Blue Ribbon Committee of current subscribers and then each time I see
 a toon or think of a joke to publish, I could send it to the senior members of the committee and they could call
 the full committee into session and review the joke/too, then hold a vote on what humor is acceptable, then get
 back to me with the panel's decision so I know what might be offensive to somebody reading  bartcop.com

 Or, ...people could understand that it's a joke and move on.

 Webster: "Joke" noun, something said or done to provoke laughter

 I seems odd to me that people are this quick to bail if they think they see a woodchuck.

 That innocent "women's poker" comment cost me a bundle, too
 I lost subscribers for having an opinion about Kobe and Scott Peterson.
 I lost a pillar for saying "John Wayne couldn't act," as tho my opinions change the world.

 If you know anyone doing semi-edgy material who gets it right 100 percent of the time,
 please send me his/her address so I can subscribe to their members section.

  Care to comment?


"Rush Limbaugh, in describing last night's presidential press conference, said today that
 'It was a slam dunk, grand slam home run.' That's hilarious. Bush wasn't just bad -- he was terrible.
   -- Al Franken, from Ofrankenfactor.com

 USA Today to Eldrick Woods: Time to Retire
  To regain winning ways, Tiger needs to be like Michael Jordan

  Click  Here

 Jordan's first retirement gave him just such an inferior reputation when he returned to the NBA as a failed
 baseball player: No burdensome performance expectations ("I'm out of shape; expect nothing of me") plus
 the ability to gain psychological highs once again. The "good stress" derived from stimulating challenges is
 called "eustress." Jordan gained it by being a rusty player trying again to succeed in the NBA.

 This is exactly what will happen to you after a hiatus from golf: You'll no longer be expected to win.

  Care to comment?

Marty's Entertainment Page


"I don't plan on losing my job. I plan on telling the American people that
  I've got a plan to win the war on terror. And I believe they'll stay with me."
   -- the stumbling Bumble Monkey last night,   , Attribution

 Selected outtakes from last night's live chat 

  Click  Here


"This is a REALLY GOOD SIGN!! The redeployment process (though it may be long)
  is finally beginning! There is finally a light at the end of the tunnel!"
     --Michelle Witmer, killed last Friday in Iraq  Attribution

           Another family destroyed by Bush's greed.

 Tom Delay shows his ass to 400

  Click  Here

 Tom DeLay's appearance at the Rosenberg Civic Center last weekend to explain teacher retirement was
 everything I could have wished for - Tom was  arrogant, rude, patronizing, and I have 400 witnesses to prove it.
 And then, as if determined to make this the best day of my entire life, Tom threatened to have people "removed"
 and would not allow the news media into the room.

 Thank you, Tom!  I owe you a big one, Bub.  For years, everybody thought I was exaggerating about your
 rotten attitude until you came to Rosenberg and made me look like Miss Understatement Festival Queen.

 Thanks to Regan

 Subscribe today!

 Subject: Thanks for Radio show 34!

 Triple Whammy: Rush, snot-boy Tucker, caught dead being lying hypocrites!
 Hey Bart... what an amazing service you are providing to America.

 IF George Soros wants his millions-dollars (donations to Dem/liberal/progressive causes)
 to go far, he should at LEAST sent enough to cover basic operating costs to you
 (Bartcop Radio), Democrats.com, and Buzzflash.com.

(Of course I read the other sites as well: DU, the Onion, Matt Miller; JoshMM, Salon and
 the more out-there sites like WhiteHouse.org and AllHatNoCattle ) - but NOBODY keeps
 after the lying republican attack-and smear dogs as much as you three..

 This past week's radio show (34) caught Tucker Carlson and Rush Limbaugh and
 Condi Rice being liars and hypocrites several times each.

 ...and this is important, because it is important for "liberals" and dems to repeat the
 same talking points again and again.


 LJBK, thanks. You might like Show 35, too.  It's all about a beatdown of the stumbling
 Bungle Monkey's hysterical performance at Tuesday's press conference.

The picture on the left was taken on Sunday.
The one on the right is two days later.

Did Reagan leave some Grecian Formula in the Oval Office?
I guess my hair would turn gray too if I
sent 686 kids off to die for no reason...

Thanks to Mario M

An excerpt from Show 34

  Click  Here

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Click to Enter

 Bush Changes Course, Endorses Israel Plan
  Last night: "The world knows when I say something, I mean it."

  Click  Here

 Breaking with long-standing U.S. policy, endorsed Israel's retention of part of the West Bank in any
 final peace settlement with the Palestinians. In a show of support for Israel's leader that brought immediate
 condemnation from the Palestinians, Bush also ruled out Palestinian refugees ever returning to Israel.

 Bush's endorsement of Sharon's plan came with no Palestinian leaders present - in what was sure to be
 seen by the Arab world as a strong favoring of Sharon and a slight to the Palestinians. Palestinian leaders
 had previously said they had been assured by the Bush administration that they would be consulted before
 any Bush endorsement of Sharon's plan.

 Not satisfied with one hot shooting war, the stumbling, bumbling Monkey tries for a second war.

   Care to comment?

Please: No more mail to  bc_biz@yahoo.com
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 Make your deal today  before May 1, when convention prices take effect.

 The vulgar Pigboy's lawyer, Kennedy rape attorney Roy Black,
 seems to have blundered into a schoolboy gaffe.

 BartCop reader (and pillar) Dean E wrote Rush a letter.
  Read it and Roy Black's reply:

  Click  Here

  Care to comment?

 Didn't you get the memo?
   by Molly Ivins

  Click  Here

 I had the surreal experience of watching the release of the Aug. 6 "historical memo" on Fox News.
 I sat there listening to a bunch of juvenile clowns react like paid political operatives, as though this had
 nothing to do with anything but Bush's re-election.

 Ho, ho, this is so nothing, they chortled. They were so busy pooh-poohing it, you could barely figure out
 what it said. My favorite moment was when Geraldo Rivera, who apparently passes for a deep thinker
 at Fox, solemnly announced: 'I have a dream. A dream that someday George Bush and John Kerry will
 stand together holding hands and say that the most important thing is to fight terrorism.'"

Bush's American soldier body count in Iraq
 Bush lied, and cost   679 686  soldiers their lives - and counting.

The homecomings Bush is hiding from the voters



"Bush is going to call for a tax cut to honor the soldiers."
     -- Crazymike, watching the Monkey on TV,  in last night's live chat  Attribution

 An Open Letter to Condoleezza Rice: 'You are a liar'
   by Catherine Austin Fitts, Former Assistant Secretary of Housing

  Click  Here

 You had numerous warnings of the risks of 9-11 - sufficient to let the American people know and use
 their best judgment as to how to protect themselves from a possible attack. It was your job as National
 Security Advisor to make sure that the people in the South Tower of the World Trade Center had the
 knowledge they needed to evacuate their building upon seeing the North Tower hit by a plane.

 You knew. You kept silent. They died.

Do you have an opinion?
Do any GOP impressions?

Call the

Then  listen for your call on...

You have two minutes to spit your bit.

 Pokerfest Palm Beach - Monday, April 26

 I know that sounds crazy, but I'll be damned if we let free airline tickets expire.
 We've never been to Florida, so we're going to fly in and spend a few days there,
 so the exact date is flexible, so let's shoot for Palm Beach that Monday evening.

 If we get a poker game together - fine.
 If nobody wants to play - that's fine, too, but either way, we're doing Florida.
 Might do the Florida Keys, might do Miami's art deco scene, maybe drive thru Palm Beach at night.

 Click  Here  if you're in for cheap poker and please put 'poker' in the title, OK?

 George 'I'm Never Wrong' Bush Takes Questions

  Click  Here

 Bush stumbled and fumbled through several tries at an answer. Then the room came to a screeching halt..
 Bush had no answer ... and finally said ... 'You put me on the spot here, and I can't come up with anything'.

 If that wasn't enough, in a case of stunning irony, on the next question.. during Bush's long rambling answer,
 at one point he stated 'its important to learn lessons from mistakes'.
 Well, if you can't admit to any mistakes then how are you ever going to learn anything?

Garry Trudeau offers $10K to anyone
who saw Bush show up in the ANG

Click for reward details


I guess Garry's on vacation.

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 If your GOP workplace doesn't want you to see the truth, use these mirrors.

   Shirley Manson of the rock group "Garbage."

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 Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!

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 That would be really cool, and we'll catch you at The Joint on your next American tour.

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