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Today's Tequila Treehouse...
Quote of the Day
"If you think Dick Cheney is cursing today,
"When you mispronounce the name of the prison
that is at the center of the prison abuse scandal,
it does give the public the sense that you don't give a f***."
--Jon Stewart, on Dubya calling the prison "Abu Gref" Attribution
out to a cold Irish welcome
The world hates America's evil dictator - even the Irish
Smiling and waving, George Bush glided down the steps of Air Force One at Shannon Airport
last night, seemingly unfazed by his tag as the most unwelcome American ever to set foot on Irish soil.
Pretzels are off the menu at his working lunch with European statesmen.
But what Mr Bush has been choking on recently
is the gristle of the Irish media. Expecting nothing more
than a gentle probing from a friendly state which America "helped" to prosper, he gave the first White House
interview to an Irish journalist for 20 years. But the state broadcaster RTE subjected him to a grilling which
left him fuming and had media commentators and licence-payers debating the Irish style of journalism.
"Screw the Irsih, there all drunk, anyway..."
Care to comment?
"You know, listen, nobody cares more about
the death than I do."
-- America's Death Monkey Attribution
O'Reilly - drunk again
Subject: Buddy Hackett's Tonight Show joke
Yo, Bart Dude!
(Heh, I sound just like Otto from the Simpsons!)
I first discovered your site during one
of MediaWhoresOnline many, many vacations.
Once discovered, I couldn't stop reading. Great stuff every issue. Although I do take
exception to the BFEE fixation and all the space you give to the "tin-foil hat" wearing crowd.
CIA plant bombs to bring down the twin towers?
Please! Having the damaged towers remain
standing for everyone to see each and every day would better server the BFEE as a constant
reminder as to why we should support the "War-time President." Missiles hit the Pentagon?
Hey, I work by the Pentagon and that was aviation fuel I smelled burning on 9/11, not rocket fuel!
(I grew up by Wright Patterson Airforce Base. Trust me. I know the difference.)
Every conspiracy theory ever espoused can
be explained by simple common sense.
Example: Why weren't the jets scrambled on 9/11? Come on, think about it. You're a base commander.
Would you take the responsibly to issue the order to shoot down commercial aircraft?
Or would you pass it up the chain of command? Evidence says it was passed up the chain of command
all the way up to the Vice President before the order was issued. By then it was too late.
Never you mind only the President has that authority! <Insert ventriloquist joke here>
After reading every back issue, after
everything that's happened to this country, after every smack down
I keep thinking of one thing, did anybody ever tell you Buddy Hackett's Tonight Show joke?
Shane, good to hear from you.
I never said they put bombs in the WTC, and I never said the plane didn't hit the Penatagon.
What I said was we know the government is lying about 9-11, we just don't know exactly what
they're trying so hard to hide, so conspiracy theories, natually, will run wild until we know the truth.
If I was the base commander, I would have my pilots in the air and flying 1 half mile behind the
hijacked plane. If orders to shoot never come - fine, but why have the pilots on the ground with
their head up their asses instead of in the air, ready to act, which is their damn jobs?
Did you really read every back issue? I only know one other guy who did that - Oklahoma Bob.
The Buddy Hackett joke seems tame by today's standards, but it was really wild at the time.
A guy notices his penis is changing color, so he goes to a doctor.
Doctor says, "We must amputate."
The guy runs out of the room. A week later, he sees a second doctor who says "We must amputate."
A week later, he sees a third doctor and says, "Do we really have to amputate?" and Doc says, "No!"
The guy is deliriously happy until the doctor says, "You waited so long, it'll fall off by itself."
film a hot ticket in Bay Area
F 9/11 energizes the anti-Bush multitudes
On the Grand Lake's marquee was a declaration stating that the theater would not enforce the R rating for the film.
Theater owner Allen Michaan said the idea had been brought to him by his staff, who believed the film's content,
which included graphic images of people wounded in Iraq and some profanity, did not justify the rating. Michaan
said he was also relaxing the R rating at his other theater, the Park in Lafayette.
The rating system is voluntary.
Michaan posted on his marquee his own message about the current state of national politics:
"Bush stole the presidency thru premeditated election
fraud! Bring back integrity to the White House! Vote.''
"Hood that guy, strip him
and bring in some dogs and
some sparking electric wires!"
Care to comment?
Subject: Yo! bart
Long time reader, first time caller.
Thanks for the many laughs, Bart.
Let me ask you a question, Bart.
Don't you think that the Democrats are owned by
the same big-money-boys that own the Republicans?
T-13, no, it's just the opposite.
The GOP is owned by BIG Cancer, BIG guns, BIG business,
the defense industry, and the drug and insurance companies.
The Democrats are "owned" by the teachers unions, the trial lawyers
and the consumers who are fighting the drug and insurance companies.
That's why the Democrats are broke, they're backing the non-rich.
Care to comment?
"What was it like Sept. 11th, 2001? I wouldn't
have made the decisions
I did if I didn't believe the world would be better. Why would I put people
in harm's way if I didn't believe the world would be better? "
--Dubya, pretending it's not about oil, money and power Attribution
"Give to God what is God's
and my family gets all the rest..."
Marty's Entertainment Page
high degree of rage toward Moore
That means they can't take it when someone tells the truth
Even though his Bush-bashing documentary just opened, the filmmaker is already receiving death threats, we hear.
Moore was surrounded by bodyguards at the movie's Washington premiere on Wednesday.
Moore's people won't say why security has been beefed up, but one friend confirms,
"There have been major threats from some very sick people."
John Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy, Martin Luther King, Oklahoma City...
The Republican Party tends to settle political disputes with bullets and ammonium nitrate.
Be careful, Mike.
Those sick bastards can't allow the truth get out - they have too much to lose.
The BFEE has too many hundreds of billions left to steal..
Your Fahrenheit 9/11 Reviews
This is all spoilers and reactions to the film.
Don't click unless you want the details spelled out.
Some people can't read, like the Monkey president.
But if you can read, you'll find the right books here
and it's all just a click away.
Halen is outta sync
Band sluggish, stumbling at Meadowlands show
Militants Threaten to Behead 3 Turk Hostages
Do they mean it? Or are they just bluffing?
'felt better' after telling Leahy to "F" himself
Heartless bastard telling people he has "no regrets," about potty talk in the Senate
Reject Endorsement for Ralph Nader
Everybody doesn't like this Bush enabler but the GOP
"Like Michael Moore? You'll love F 9/11.
Love Ted Kennedy? You'll want to own a copy.
Hate Bush? You'll drool throughout the movie. Want to make Moore richer from the worst
national tragedy in U.S. history? Then rush out and buy your tickets. Just as Moore did with
the Columbine tragedy... cashing in on all the dead bodies. That's what Moore does best.
Exploits national tragedy for profit and calls it an "expose." Is it any wonder the French loved it?
No doubt it will be translated into German and Russian and they'll love it too. What a true American.
-- robertsinclairdrs, ditto-monkey, reviewing F 9/11 on Yahoo moview Attribution
Hey Monkey, you have it backwards.
Bush is making hundred of billions by having 850 soldiers walk into a meat grinder.
You can hate the truth-teller all you want, and you call him whatever
names get you hard,
but unlike the never-elected, self-proclaimed King of the World, Moore didn't kill anybody.
Bush has gotten 850 American soldiers killed, plus hundreds? of
American private contractors,
plus thousands or tens of thousands of innocent Iraqis - and you want to scream at the guy
who's pulling Bush's illegal (and very profitable) murder spree and genocide into the spotlight?
Hitler Reappears, This Time in Bush Ad
Bush's campaign Web site has an ad casting Kerry and his allies as a "coalition of the wild-eyed,"
blending clips of Gore, Howard Dean and Michael Moore shouting about Mr. Bush. Interspersed
twice are images of a shouting Hitler and the result appears to liken Gore's and Dean's shouting to Hitler's.
Subject: about last issue's Double Standards
RE; My e-mail and your response to "Double Standards".
I said, "Personally, I believe both of you could score a few points."
> "Mike, you want me to print a list of all the
crimes the Clinton's didn't commit?"
Then you listed crimes he wasn't charged
with, (or guilty of).
A more appropriate response would have been to list charges that WERE made against him,
and were either unproven or proven to be false. (And there were many.)
The good news is, I get to decide what's
It's not possible, even for TIME Magazine or CNN, to list every wild-ass charge
that was leveled at Clinton in the last ten years. It would take years for a team of 50
to assemble such a list, so I didn't try.
Instead, I listed the very real and very
life-and-death true crimes Bush has committed to show
the contrast between Clinton's fake misdemeanors and Bush's very real and deadly global attrocities.
THEN you would have earned the right to ask for examples of the claimed dishonesty.
I have the right to call a spade a spade any time I see fit.
If I can't back it up, then you can call me on it.
The point was if you scream, "Liar!," you need to have examples.
Knee-jerkers usually shout AT each other,
rather than talking TO each other.
I've never seen a position taken that was 100% right, or wrong. (even mine)
I'm beginning to doubt your motives.
Fee, Fi, Fo Fum, I smell the blood of a ditto-monkey.
I enjoy visiting your site, as well as right wing sites.
If you find a right winger willing to debate,
let me know.
They provide outlets for knee-jerkers to vent their spleen.
I don't like your tone.
You keep trying to call me a knee-jerker, which means I take automatic
liberal positions without thinking about them - you must be new to bartcop.com
Like the woman who started this thread, you have failed to offer up any specifics.
It seems to me you missed your chance to put up, so maybe it's time for you to shut up.
Keep up the good work.
And then you close with that limp "compliment." I'd rather
have a monkey come right
at me than have your left-handed, "Keep up the good work."
saw it on funnyfarmonline.org
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"Saddam tried to kill the president, or the
ex- president, harbored Abu Nidal, the man who
killed Mr. Klinghoffer, (twenty years ago) killed many, many Americans in the U.N.-supported war
to liberate Kuwait, (twelve years ago) threatened to kill many more, praised the 9/11 attacks
and said it was just the beginning. Michael Moore says flat out series of flat lies, this is a
country that no threat to itself or others. This was a genocidal, fascist regime that hated us
and was working against us in the most foul way.
-- Christopher Hitchens, spewing lie after lie like always, on Crossfire. Attribution
Yes, Saddam tried to kill Poppy
Bush a dozen years ago - and was punished for it.
Don't tell us 850 soldiers have died to avenge Klinghoffer - that's not why we invaded Iraq.
Yes, Saddam killed Americans in Poppy Bush's fake war, and Bush settled on a truce instead
on taking him out - so yell at Poppy for doing a half-ass job.
Don't tell us 850 soldiers have died because Saddam "threatened" to kill us. He didn't have
the means to kill us and the BFEE knew that before we went to war with them
Don't tell us 850 soldiers have died because Saddam praised 9-11. The Palestinians praised it, too.
Why haven't we invaded and murdered the Palestinian rulers if that's why we invaded Iraq?
Don't tell us 850 soldiers have died because Saddam said, "This is just the beginning."
Michael Moore didn't say "Iraq was no threat to itself or others." You made that up, liar!
He said Iraq was no threat to us, and that's true. He had no WMDs and Clinton's army went thru
Iraq's defenses like I go thru weak-kneed Republicans in a live chat room. You had to ad "or others"
to make it sound good, because Moore never said that, which means you had to change what Moore
said to make it outrageous. Had you told the truth (Do you even know what that is, Hitchens?)
it would've sounded reasonable so you lied to make the truth sound bad - that makes you a whore..
Saddam ran a "genocidal, fascist regime?" Tell me, Hitchens, who killed more innocent
Iraqis in the last five years - Bush or Saddam? And when Saddam was on his killing spree in the
late 80s, where did he get that poison gas, you cherry-picking, selectively-outraged charlatan?
Don't tell us 850 soldiers have died because Saddam, "was working against us in the most foul way."
That's just horseshit handjob rhetoric from a lying, Nazi whore - that's you, Hitchens.
"Working against us in the most foul way," who do you think you are, Agatha Christie?. Those are
nonsense words spoken with the intent to scare the stupid. Right now, the entire world hates us as much
as Saddam did. Will Bush invade and murder the childen of every leader who hates America now?
We're going to need a 20 million man army if Bush is out to kill everyone who hates us today.
Hitchie-boy, you better hope you and I never find ouselves in
the same debate. You've got a whipping coming
because I don't like lying, Nazi whores, and I especially don't like lying, Nazi whores who tell everyone he's a
Democrat who hates Clinton & Kerry and wants desperately to have the love child of the never-elected,
bungling, American soldier killing, Murderer-in-Chief.
Bar owner dies from injuries in beating
A Tulsa bar owner who was hospitalized after
he was severely beaten with a metal pipe
early Thursday has died. Shawn Howard, 35, the owner of the Dead Town Tavern,
23 N. Cheyenne Ave., died about 1:30 p.m. Friday at St. John Medical Center,
Tulsa Police Capt. Travis Yates said.
"I hired the toughest team of fact checkers
I could find, lawyers
and head counsel from The New Yorker. We invited them to be tough
- and they were. All journalism should be this careful."
-- Harvey Weinstein, saying Fahrenheit 9/11 is accurate Attribution
Turkey Rejects Beheaders' Demands
Followers of Zarqawi announced Saturday they had kidnapped three Turkish workers
and threatened to behead them after 72 hours unless Turkish companies stop doing
business with American forces in Iraq and called for protests in Turkey against Bush's visit.
"George Bush's father won with Dan Quayle.
Tell me that's not an albatross.
Was he trying to just like -- you know what I almost think that was, picking Dan Quayle?
That was taunting the Democrats, that was saying, I can beat you with this knucklehead.
I can beat you with this guy on my back."
-- Jon Stewart with Larry King, on why Kerry's VP doesn't matter Attribution
Subject: Your radio show
I finally finished listening to shows 40, 41, & 42, and since you ask for reviews, here we go.....
This was my first listen to Bartcop radio
and I'm damn glad I did.
I've spent lot's of years around music, music production, recording, etc. etc. and the show sounds great.
First off, the editing is crisp and clean,
the levels are very good, and the EQ and balance are excellent.
Tommy does a fine job. Folks don't appreciate how important and integral a person of his talents are
to the overall sound and feel to a show.
Secondly. I think your voice is fine. My
only suggestion would be to slow down at times. I've noticed when
you are reading you get so involved and compassionate, that you rush along, and that can sometimes result
in the old tongue getting tied. I have a good friend who does lots of radio voice overs and he always told me
to slow down if I was recording any kind of dialogue.
Other than that, you rock. The show is wonderfully
informative and entertaining (yes....entertaining).
I think one of the most important things that comes through is your compassion for the subject.
It really makes it work. That's not something you can polish, it just exists.
I'd sure love to see you do an expanded
version of a subject such as the pigboy.
With all the piles of sound clips of pigboy's show out there, you could put together quite the special.
Coupled with Tommy's editing, it could prove pretty powerful.
You're doing fine.
I once had a job interview in Tulsa, and the lady said, "You're
not from around here, are you?"
I said no, and asked her how she knew.
She said, "Nobody from Oklahoma talks that fast."
Up to twenty views per penny.
Nobody gives you a better deal that that.
This is very important - thousands of
dollars are at stake
and we won't get a "do over," so let's be sure we're clear up-front.
Click Here for the last chance update.
Click to Enter
Here is a list of people who are officially "in" Pokerfest Chicago.
If your name's not on the list, you're not in yet.
Click Here for the important updates.
We added a senior pillar over the weekend.
> It will be an interesting movie to review because of high expectations.
> I think I'm going to see the best political film of my life, with an A+ rating,
> so anything short of that will be a dissapointment for me.
Bart's Review of F 9/11
We were in line when the 4 PM showing let out. Two burly dudes
in front of us saw
a friend coming out and one said, "Is this movie going to make me cry?"
His lady friend thought for a minute and said, "yeah, a few times."
I snuck over to the
popcorn station and grabbed some napkins and I was glad I did. When the formerly
gung-ho military mom reads the letter from her dead son, you're going to need something.
There were cops at the Tulsa theater Friday night - first time
I ever saw that.
They also stationed ushers at both doors, so you had to show an F 9/11 ticket to get in.
I guess that way, if someone set off a smoke bomb or a stink bomb, at least the theater
would get eight bucks towards the clean up.
Ten Years After's "I'd love to change the world," the song you
hear in all the previews for
F 9/11 wasn't in the movie, but Neil Young, who left us to go over to Bush's side - and eventually
came back, had his Rockin' in the Free World" on the screen, instead. That was probably my
In 1983, my good friend J.D. McMillian was over and the three
of us watched the world premier
of Michael Jackson's "Thriller." As soon as it was over, I thought how amazing it was that Michael Jackson,
arguably the biggest star in the world at the time, just got THAT much bigger. That's how I felt coming out
of the theater Friday night. In the last three days, Michael Moore has gotten THAT much bigger, and he
will be one of the biggest power players in the anti-Bush movement, more than he was by far, but notice he
had the brains to avoid alligning himself the the Party of Pussies, the Democrats.
At one point in the film, he sarcastically says, "Of course, the
Democrats knew Bush was lying and they
bravely did all they could to stop him." Then he cut to Tom Daschle (D-Pink Tutu) saying, "We will give
the president all authority he needs to invade Iraq." I'm so ashamed to say I'm a Democrat.
At times, it looked like "BartCop - The Movie"
The nerve damaged soldier, trying his best to spit his words out
while wincing from his injuries, said he had
been a Republican for many years, but as soon as he was recovered well enough, he was going to do all he
could for the Democratic Party. The theater erupted in cheers and applause - and remember, this is right-wing,
totally fascist, Jim Inhofe-electing, hang-a-liberal, hang-a-nigger, hang-a-faggot f-ing Oklahoma.
Throughout the movie, you could hear groans and the sounds of
jaws dropping every time they mentioned
something that was common knowledge on bartcop.com 3-4 years ago. Trust me, this crowd had never
heard of the Carlyle Group, or Harken energy or the Afghanistan pipeline project.
The best part of the movie is the collection of idiotic Monkey
gaffes. Each time the never-elected Chimp
opened his lying mouth in Moore's movie, he says something more stupid than the last time.
You're hearing a lot about "all the lies" that are in the movie,
mostly by Bush-lovers who haven't seen
the movie, but they're content to issue very strong opinions about a film that they've never seen.
I'd have to see it a second time to give you a real review. The
entire time, I had to restrain myself from
jumping up and screaming, "How can we let this bastard murder with our money and in our name?"
Bush's American soldier body count in Iraq
no, .... 851
dead American soldiers.
Drip, drip, drip - the lives go down the drain - all for Bush's illegal war.
Soon it will be 900, and then 1000.
Rumsfeld: More U.S. Troops for Iraq Not Essential
The United States may not have to send more troops to Iraq, Rumsfeld said Sunday.
"The real task of security is not to flood a country with more and more troops," Rumsfeld told the BBC.
He said the U.S. Army was making contingency
plans for more troops, should commanders in Iraq
request reinforcements. "That does not mean that we will necessarily need them, that means we will
do the prudent planning," he added.
Putting in more troops would be an admission they underestimated
the Iraqi resistance,
and since this administration is never wrong, we will continue to fight an undermanned war
and hundreds more will die because this gang of thugs can't admit they are fallible.
Is it time to renew your subscription?
Think how much better BCR sounds than the early shows.
It can only get better - and hotter - as we move closer to November.
PO Bix 54466
Tulsa, OK 74155
Do you have an opinion?
Do any GOP impressions?
Then listen for your call on...
You have two minutes to record your message.
The Bixby Corn Festival
It's official name is the Bixby Green Corn Festival, but
who eats green corn?
True to their name, they usually have the festival 10-15 days before the monster corn hits.
This year, the weather's a little cooler, the corn's a little early, and the Fest was great!
We went to Corn Central Saturday morning - Conrad
Farms in Bixby, Oklahoma.
We got Calico corn, we got Silver King corn and we got Kandy corn.
I wore my red shirt on purpose.
Boy, I get in a good mood around corn harvest time.
After we loaded up Mrs. Bart's touring sedan (1992 model) she
asked if I wanted to, "go downtown."
I was startled, to say the least.
What she meant was, "Should we check downtown Bixby for the corn festival?"
The Bixby Green Corn Festival was just like Mayberry.
Super-small town farming community, out on a sunny Saturday in June in Oklahoma.
They had a band playing Souza songs, they had a bunch of knick-nack booths,
they gave away FREE bottled water, I saw dogs chasing Frisbies, there were kids
and old people just sitting on the bench for no damn reason. They just "had fun."
I saw a sign for "Fresh Cherry Lemonade," and I decided to trust
I paid for a Cherry Lemonade and waited, ...and waited.
Turns out, they were making it by hand.
Damn, it tasted fine.
Mrs Bart roamed the booths, looking for expensive/pointless iron art to put in the back yard.
I turned to my left - and there it was - the corn grill.
Whoa, you talk about a sight to see.
These grills were maybe 24 x 60 inches, and there were four of them.
Each grill held maybe 60 ears of picked-an-hour-ago fresh Bixby corn.
I stared like a little kid watching them pour concrete in his own damn driveway.
Now and then, the big dog would bark at the little dog, and he'd
grab a 50 pound bag
of hardwood charcoal, of which I'm not entirely familiar - perhaps it's for larger fires?
It made the most dictinctive sound as it was poured, like ceramic tiles from a wheelbarrow.
They must've been experts, because theyu seemd to know exactly
when to flip and turn.
The corn husks were mostly burned black, but the dude with the mustache had a garden hose
on really fine spray, and he was constantly swooshing the blacks husks with his fine spray.
I said to Mrs. Bart, "I'll bet he's using steam to get the exact
burn that he wants on that corn,"
and she looked at me as if to say, "Why didn't I listen to my parents?"
Finally, it was our turn, and it was a moment out of some movie.
Goober husked the ear in less than a second, handed it to Betty Lou.
She held it up to apply the ketchup bottle of liquid butter all over it, ...and it shone in the sun.
It'd the prettiest color yellow there is.
Just-picked Bixby corn drenched in butter and held up to the sun
is like Van Gogh.
I took a bite and it was like a fine Chinaco-Anejo - the flavor flood did not disappoint.
A lady about 70 or so saw us eating the corn on the cob, and asked
with what I guess was
and Icelandic, Nordic accent, "Is the gorn good?"
I'm like, "Lady, corn on the cob IS America."
I suggested she try some.
What if Fahrenheit 9/11 makes, ...like, $20 million opening weekend?
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It had everything.
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If your GOP workplace doesn't want you to
see the truth, use these mirrors.
Shirley Manson of the rock group "Garbage."
Shrl, call The BartPhone,
just to say "Hi!"
Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!
You can call the Bart-Phone at 918-748-1714
That would be really cool, and we'll catch you at The Joint on your next American tour.
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