Subscribe to Bartcop
Show 53 is here Links
The great Bruce Yurgil
Today's Tequila Treehouse...
Quote of the Day
"The Republicans are in town this week.
"People in Britain got upset when Giuliani
compared Bush to Churchill.
Bush is upset because he has no idea who Winston Churchill is."
--Conan O'Brien, Attribution
Clinton to Undergo Bypass Surgery
He's currently in serious condition
...is working on his chilling story.
"Imagine the ability I would have to relate
to people if this storm hits.
I would be homeless and then in touch with people who are homeless. "
--Rush Limbaugh, who loves playing with a cadaver more than eating food Attribution
Tried To Install Crony At Florida Election Board
They plan to win Florida, legally or not
The President is doing all he can to once again rig the election in Florida.
According to the Miami Daily Business
Review, Jeb Bush appointee at the Broward County Board
of Elections hired a law firm headed by two close cronies of President Bush to fight any charges against it
during the 2004 election. Specifically, the Broward Supervisor of Elections Brenda Snipes hired the law firm
Blosser & Sayfie. Justin Sayfie "is a former spokesman for Gov. Bush and currently is co-chair of the
Bush/Cheney re-election campaign in Broward County." He is also a Bush Ranger (aka. someone who has
raised more than $100,000 for the President's campaign). James Blosser is also "a top fund-raiser for President
Bush's re-election campaign."4 Many observers expect the election will be extremely close in Florida and predict
it will touch off litigation. County election supervisors and their legal teams could play a key role in deciding the election.
"Get used to it - we own Florida..."
"Elliot Spitzer warned the Republicans, 'Don't
you dare bring up 9/11! We won't allow it!'
Well, Giuliani not only did, he spoke of that horrible day with the class.
He pointed to Bush's leadership, comparing him to Churchill."
--Rush Limbaugh Attribution
It's amazing that the Democrats allow the GOP to distort histiry
The truth is, Bush couldn't be found that day.
He was flying from state-to-state in a mad panic.
The only time we heard from Bush was on videotape,
so they could start over each time he threw up or wet himself.
Plus, Giuliani told dozens of lies in that short speech.
If I can ever find the time, that's the bheatdown I want to do next.
Here to get three
Shows (up to six hours) on CD delivered for just $24
Subscribe to Bartcop
"They raise the terror alert in New York to
elevated, no New Yorkers leave.
A threat by al Qaeda to destroy our financial institution, New Yorkers stand firm.
Republicans come to town it's like, Get out of here."
--Jay Leno, Attribution
Subject: Did you fall for media spin?
Bart, you wrote,
> Damn, that looks like a confession to me.
> Kobe, you rat bastard - you raped that woman.
Bart, you have enough legal experience to
recognize a settlement, don't you?
It looks like this girl didn't want to continue with the case and made an agreement
that for some amount of money as a settlement of the civil case, and an apology,
she would drop the charges. Look for the civil case to settle within two months,
without Kobe having to go back to Colorado.
NOTE that I am not judging the case one
way or another, except to say that,
whether or not Kobe raped the girl, he would not have been convicted -- even in Snow Whiteland.
Seeing that prosecutor say that the "victim's"
desire not to go forward was the reason--the only
reason--they were dropping the case, while knowing full well that the same prosecutor had withheld
evidence that appeared to exonerate Kobe--reminded me of the closing of the Whitewater investigation.
Kobe's statement basically said, "I did
If he read words that the victim's lawyers drafted, and a check was cashed, that's a settlement.
But they're still talking about the upcoming civil trial, which means Kobe was an idiot to confess.
As of today, the best evidence they seem to have is his statement.
I don't know how you can accidentally rape a woman.
She was either saying "Give it to me rough, Big Boy," or "Stop it, you sick bastard."
As far as I know, Kobe's not deaf, so he heard her beg him to stop.
Rallies Catholics to Support Bush
War, murder and executions are Catholic staples?
Catholics should campaign hard for Protestant Bush rather than for Catholic Kerry,
Republican leaders told activists at a rally near the GOP convention on Thursday.
Minnesota Rep. Mark Kennedy told the activists
that a 2003 Vatican rant on Catholics
in public life meant "we're no longer allowed to believe one way and vote another way,"
in particular on abortion and conspicuously skirting the death penalty issue for the Giggler.
According to the Catholics, any woman on the pill isn't a real
Catholic. Anyone for the
death penalty isn't a real Catholic. Anyone on their second, third or fourth wife need not apply,
and anyone who had sex before marriage is a certain Hell occupant-to-be and that includes
chrnoic masturbators like Bob Dole.
So if all the "real" Catholics vote for Bush, Kerry will win by 15 million votes.
Subject: Falling for media spin -- Kobe
Bart, your site shows that you think Kobe's
statement is very close to a confession,
and I agree it sound like that -- clearly his lawyer wouldn't let him give that statement
unless the terms of the civil case were also settled (unless she's totally stupid).
Well, he's made the statement and they are also proceeding
with the civil trial.
Seems like there's no need for a trial once the guy confesses - as it seems he did.
reporter and news analyst John Stanton's predictions for
a possible second term of George W. Bush are "not only shocking,
but substantiated by the facts on the ground. The future described here
is not only imminent; it may be a fait accompli. Both stimulating and irritating,
this collection of essays paints a picture of a people, a country that lives
on myth and illusion and is at war with itself and the rest of the world.
Stanton explains how Bush has adroitly fused state, religious
(faith-based government) and business interests into one
indistinguishable tyrannical mass and his explanation of how
this has been accomplished is eye-opening."
"The Republican Convention goes on all week,
and of course, the highlight
will be toward the end of the week. George Bush will show up for one day,
you know, just like he did in the National Guard."
--David Letterman Attribution
Subject: Jon stole your hammer
Tonight Stewart and the Daily Show swung
the big hammer and smacked the Repugs dead center
between the eyes. It was a beautiful site to behold. The bit with Lynn Cheney was really putting that
Cyborg Dick's ass out there. And how about that Zell huh. Wasn't he quite the fruit loop.
I thought for a minute he was auditioning
for the part of Charles Hamilton when he attempts to call
Rhett out for dishonoring Scarlet. Isn't he just the most pinched up bitter looking old man you ever saw?
And the interview with McCain was interesting.
I really do dislike McCain but I appreciate the fact that
he can't help but show his true feelings for the Neocons. He has to be doing this with thoughts of a
Presidential bid in the future, but he would never get my vote just for the fact that he is a spineless, suck ass,
waste of a hero. If he stood against the Evil Empire and came over from the dark side after the start of the
Not So Swift boaters, he would still have had a chance to win back the respect of a lot of voters.
But McCain didn't and instead the chump
spoke at Nazicon and spoke out against a film he never even seen.
The interviews with the Repug delegates was a hoot. Really showed their ignorance. I really like Samantha Bee.
She interviewed me once when I was in New Hampshire campaigning for the General.
Well thanks Bart if you read this. I watched Jon and wanted to put down my review.
Feels good to pound it down with my fingers.
GOP backs away from insane bigot
After gauging the harsh reaction from Democrats and Republicans alike to Sen. Zell Miller's keynote address
at NaziCon2004, the Bush campaign - led by the first lady - backed away Thursday from Miller's savage attack
on John Kerry, insisting that the estranged Democrat was speaking only for himself.
We have to figure a way to get rid of Zell Miller.
The GOP will say, "Those Democrats are crazy and full of hatred."
Click to Order
I agree with John Kerry.
The never-elected Monkey is "Unfit for office"
Chevron Gave Big to Schwarzenegger
Musclehead is wholly owned by the biggest polluters on Earth
Schwarzenegger's ambitious plan to reorganize almost every aspect of state government
was influenced significantly by oil and gas giant ChevronTexaco Corp., which managed to
shape such key recommendations as the removal of restrictions on oil refineries.
Many corporations and interest groups participated
in the governor's reform plan but state records
and interviews with the participants show Chevron enjoyed immense success in influencing the report
through its array of lobbyists, attorneys and trade organizations.
And few corporations have spent so much
political cash on the governor, either. Since Schwarzenegger's
election last October, the San Ramon company has contributed more than $200,000 to his committees
and $500,000 to the California Republican Party.
Chevron, whose officials acknowledge they
lobbied hard to get their ideas in the report, is one of about
20 companies that paid to send the governor and his staff to NaziCon2004. On Wednesday,
Musclehead attended a secret meeting with slick oilers, including Chevron. And just three weeks after
the governor's office released the 2,700-page reorganization report, the company gave $100,000 to
a Schwarzenegger-controlled political fund.
Big surprise - Musclehead was in bed with
Enron when they were raping California.
That's how he got his job - remember?
Enron made life unliveable in California
and the right-wing media blamed Gray Davis and the Democrats
were too scared to defend him so he lost his job. Voetrs loved the idea of a movie star directing their futures
and now we see proof that he's in bed with the bastards who caused the problems in the first place.
Subject: re Kobe
I wasn't there but think Kobe figured out
how dip damn nuts this gal is,
thus the inference to why he now understands "how she feels that she did not consent..."
I think that extra pair of non Kobe semen
stained undies was her undoing, plus as an added,
the man who was involved with her refused to come forward. I mean, what is the mystery here?
If I were going to make it a point to get
to Kobe's room and then beg off from in progress sex,
I don't think I would be making rape claims. I also wouldn't be going to a man's room, especially
one I really didn't know, and expect to be served tea and have casual talk.
Nope, I think this case was bullshit through
Norma, good point.
I read that statement online, and I could probably tell more hearing him say it.
But why even go there?
Why did Kobe's attys let him say that with the civil trial looming?
What was the purpose of that statement, compared to, "I'm
looking forward to getting back
to my family and my job and I wish the best for everyone involved in this case."
Subject: Re: Today in History has been cancelled
Yeah, man, I didn't want to pile on,
I just didn't read the thing.
Not because I didn't get it, as so many of the dozens didn't, but because it just wasn't funny.
In the search for things to post on a humor
site, let the term "not funny" serve as a warning sign.
What the hell. You gave it a shot, and let your balls hang out there.
So try something else, and keep swingin' (hammer--balls--whatever).
It's too bad it didn't work.
To me, it was like a game show.
You go on Hollywood Squares and you must to agree or disagree with the statement:
"In 1923, the Japanese cities of Tokyo and Yokohama were devastated by Jimmy Doolittle's bombers."
So you think to yourself...
There was a Doolittle and he did something in Japan, but wasn't that WWII?
Yes, it was WWII, so that statement is false and I'm willing to gamble on that!
Damn, I'd watch a show like that.
I think it would be fun if someone put together a couple of hundred
and we could gamble (small stakes, of course) on whether or not they were true.
But it was angering so many people.
I had to send out that much more mail everyday, explaining it wasn't meant to be true.
Day after day on the page, I told people it was a joke, but they couldn't comprehend the thought.
So, to quote Beyonce's boyfriend, "I got 99 problems but Today in History ain't one of them."
BTW, if you're a subscriber
and have a page or blog to plug,
send me your link.
Kerry 'will fight back' his sister says
It is a sad day for the American people when the only thing that the current administration
can talk about is negative, slanderous attacks against their opponent.
Sadly that has been the tactic of this administration and the Republican party in this election
because they have nothing positive, it seems, to talk about on their own record and their own achievements.
John Kerry is a fighter. He will hit back. He will continue to take the case to the American people.
Subject: your fried chicken recipe was great!
Just wanted to let you know I was browsing
your site and came across your
fried chicken recipe.
I picked up all the ingredients and made some the other night.
Man - o - Man was that good!
I'll have to work on seasoning it a little
Even though it will probably sit in my colon for three weeks, it was well worth it!
Your friends at
"The Bush administration is ignoring, if not defying outright, the U.S. Supreme Court's ruling that all
terror suspects must be able to challenge their imprisonment. The opening round of detainee military
tribunals at Guantanamo Bay last week resembled something between a Mel Brooks farce and the
kangaroo courts of former Ugandan dictator Idi Amin. Maybe Captain Kangaroo courts. The proceedings
didn't look anything like justice, military or otherwise. Meanwhile, two U.S. citizens still sit in military brigs,
isolated from their lawyers and months if not years away from the hearings the high court says they deserve."
used gum sells for $14K on EBay
You can buy a decent car for $14K, so why buy used gum?
'human piggy bank' spills all
Crazy dude swallowed over two kilos of loose change
Prison Guards Find Basketball Full of Pot
Oklahoma State Penitentiary officials found two pounds of pot inside
rates fall to five-month low
Of course, the economy is still crashing under Bush
Subject: Republican baby-killers
Hey there, Bart.
As I was enjoying your latest issue, you published:
> "It's like calling pro-choicers "baby killers,"
the honest Republicans (I guess that's only Keyes)
> have to admit Bush is the son of two baby killers and he married a baby killer and his two kids
> are baby killers - but only Keyes is honest enough to state the facts."
Really? Did Dumbya's wife, parents
or children ever procure abortions?
I've long suspected that Pickles did. (Any anti-abortionist who only has two children is automatically
suspicious to me.) But, can you cite any sources? I'd love to point this out to the Repugs here in hickland
(southeastern Ohio), but they'd never believe it without proof. Love to here from you on this.
Jade, we're talking about different things.
The GOP calls anyone who believes in choice, "a baby killer."
When you remind them most Bushes are pro-choice, they change the subject.
Plant's 'Unledded' to be released 10/26
DVD includes "Black Dog," from the American Music Awards
"Unledded" which premiered in 1994 on MTV, features a mix of acoustic and electric tracks,
including "Kashmir," "Gallows Pole" and "When the Levee Breaks" -- along with 17 tracks
filmed in Morocco and Wales and studio segments filmed in London.
There's a fun story about that AMA "Black
Black Dog has one of the most distinctive riffs in rock history, but...
At the time they played the AMAs, they were
fueding with John Paul Jones (bass) who wrote that riff,
so they played the song (live from Australia with accompanying diggery doos, whatever those are called)
but Page never played the Black Dog riff!
It's a very strange-sounding song without that signature riff.
I to think we are in trouble, Kerry is not
only disappointing me, he is letting us all down.
We are fighting Don Corelone, not a simpleton from Texas. This is a ruthless bunch of thugs,
and the only way to beat them is a great line from "The Untouchables"
If they hit you will a stick, hit them with
a bat, if they kill one of yours, kill three of them.
This is a war for democracy, I do not want to go into the night like a lamb to slaughter.
IM, Bush is Fredo, his family is the Corleones.
Hunting of the President
Order your copies from the BartCop Bookstone
Democrats shouldn't be scared
by Michael Moore
There were the sub-par entertainers nobody knew. There was the show of "Black Republicans,"
"Arab-American Republicans" and other minorities they trot out to show how much they are loved
by groups their policies abuse.
And there were the Band-Aids. The worst
display of how out of touch the Republicans are was those
Purple Heart Band-Aids the delegates wore to mock Kerry over his war wounds, which, for them,
did not spill the required amount of blood.
What they didn't seem to get is that watching
at home might have been millions of war veterans feeling
that they were being ridiculed by a bunch of rich Republicans who would never send their own offspring
to die in Fallujah or Danang.
That was nice of Mike - trying to make us
But I wish that headline was, "Why Democrats should be confident."
Scott Peterson is innocent?
Detective Lydell Wall testified that at exactly 8:40 a.m. on December 24 someone used the home laptop
to look at a five-day weather forecast for San Jose and a Yahoo shopping site featuring a garden weather vane.
At 8:44 a.m., a Gap fleece scarf, priced at $6.99, was viewed, as well as a sunflower motif umbrella stand for
$29.99. At 8:45 a.m. Peterson's e-mail account was accessed and an e-mail (regarding a Ping Staff golf bag he
had auctioned on eBay) was viewed, but no e-mails were sent. Wall said he was never asked to review web-surfing
habits for Scott and Laci to try and determine which of them was using the computer. The sunflower motif umbrella
is interesting because Laci had a sunflower tattoo on her ankle.
Of course, if this someone was Laci, then
that totally rules out a two-trip to the Marina possibility, as some argue
he made a trip to the Marina to dispose of her and the second trip, the fishing trip, was either to create an alibi or to be
sure she hadn't floated up. It doesn't rule out the one-trip theory, as he still does have time to murder her and load her
into the truck by the 10:08 cell phone call. But, it borders on the ridiculous to think he would have a dead body in his
truck and be taking the time to check voice mail, sending his boss email Christmas greetings, and building a mortiser.
All of this would be done in broad daylight with umpteen opportunities for eye witnesses to see him doing something suspicious.
But what is telling is not so much the possibility
that Laci was alive and on the computer on that morning, but that the
Prosecution didn't introduce this information themselves. It appears as if they wanted to hide it. And, the fact that they
didn't even ask Wall to try and determine whether it was Laci or Scott that used the computer suggests that they didn't
want to know if it was Laci. That's very disturbing.
Subject: Bush's speech was lame
GOP conventions have sure changed over the
years. There's a lot of things you don't hear about anymore
that the Republicans used to at least give lip service to. What you don't hear is the words Balanced Budget anymore.
They no longer talk of Paying off the National Debt, Where is the Social Security Lock Box. We are not debating what
we are going to do with the surplus like we were 4 years ago. The only new idea he introduced was federal funding of churches.
In spite of all the talk of terrorism and
9-11 - not once did Bush mention the name of Osama bin Laden. That
tells me that Bush
isn't serious about getting the guy who actually attacked America. We have a president who can't identify the enemy.
He talks about our soldiers confronting
terrorists - but the terrorists aren't in Iraq and never were. Our soldiers
were sent to fight
in the wrong country. All in all - Bush's speech was pretty weak compared to the other speaker like Democrat Zell Miller and
the pro-choice liberal Republicans who dominated the GOP convention. If this is a poker game - Bush is playing with an empty hand.
San Francisco, CA
W. Bush's missing year
Did they see him do any National Guard service? "Good lord, no."
Linda Allison's story, never before published, contradicts the Bush campaign's assertion that
George W. Bush transferred from the Texas ANG to the Alabama NG in 1972 because he received
an irresistible offer to gain high-level experience on the campaign of Bush family friend Winton "Red" Blount.
In fact, according to what Allison says her late husband told her, the younger Bush had become a political
liability for his father, who was UN ambassador, and the family wanted him out of Texas. "I think they
wanted someone they trusted to keep an eye on him," Linda Allison said.
"After about a month I asked Jimmy what was Georgie's
job, because I couldn't figure it out. I never saw
him do anything. He told me it basically consisted of him contacting people who were impressed by his
name and asking for contributions and support," Allison said. .
"Only little people work, I'm above all that..."
I'm watching some GOP monkey on CNN explaining that Bush inherited
that was in recession, and I'm thinking - if that's true, why did Bush say everyone should get
a big tax cut because the economy was in such great shape and the government had a surplus?
Will Kerry mention that?
"Hex on thee"
Marty's Entertainment Page
Click Here to get 3 BartCop Radio Shows on CD delivered for just $24
Currently shipping shows
Here to send your review of Show
Bonus - mention BCR Show 35 - the Bush Beatdown and get it FREE!
Joe Conason with Mind Pilot
I got one of those "We're planning to
fight back" generic, form letters
from the Kerry campaign so I wrote to them:
Bush now has a big lead.
Why is Kerry sleeping his way thru this?
He promised to fight, but so far - nothing.
Is he going to be another Gore?
Of course, they won't answer.
They think they're doing a great job.
I hope John had fun on his windsurfing vacation while
Team Bush was racking up points and personal insults.
The latest polls show Bush ahead by as many as nine points,
and that poll was taken before the close of NaziCon2004.
Will Bush get a big bounce for attacking?
Or is Kerry right - aggression turns off voters?
Bush's American soldier body count in Iraq
973, 976, 979 dead American
Forgive me for counting Bush's victims.
"I know what I'm doing when it comes to winning
--The Butcher of Baghdad, Attribution
From: Faun Otter
Subject: Kerry's last chance to windsurf
be on BartCop Radio?
If so, make the call.
Do you have an opinion?
Then listen for your call on...
You have two minutes to record your message.
Subject: Kobe comment
Get off Kobe!
The statement you referred was NOT an admission of guilt.
It was just a way of bringing a completely flawed trial from beginning.
The 'accuser' is a brazen liar who was afraid that her prevarications would be exposed to the entire world.
I've noticed a definite pattern with you....
whenever the chance presents itself
you unfailingly take a position against any Black person who's the subject of discussion.
My anti-black bigotry is well known all over the internet, as
is my anti-Israel stand.
Plus, my wars against the Red man and midgets are well known, along with the Palestinians
and those cheese-eating, surrender monkeys, the French.
I also hate people whose names beging with "M" or N," and tall people.
Same for women, retards, geeks, dweebs and cancer patients.
I also don't like Texans, red-haired men and actors - and don't
forget the Irish!.
I hate car license plates with "4s" in them, and instant mashed potatos*.
I have no use for most English comics and most non-Texan American guitar players.
I also can't stand putting a hook in barbed wire and running it
up one nostril,
then pulling it thru while having it come out the other nostril - boy do I hate that.
I hate moonlight walks on the beach and people who part their hair on the right.
Funny, I have no problem with people named "David" making wild-ass accusations.
There must be one million cars on the Dallas Loop - at all times.
Like Chicago, these inner-city Interstate highways are wall-to-wall stopped traffic at 2 PM.
I can understand rush hour traffic, but not in the middle of the day.
Our flight was cancelled, but "No problem,"
they had another one only three hours later.
It's fun to find ways to slow time down, and an airport can do that.
When we arrived, AVIS said my credit card failed to go thru, and
that caused an eruption.
In all the time I've been an AVIS "Preferred Customer," they've only done it right once.
They're supposed to take me right to my car, but nooooooooooooooooooo.
I always end up standing in that damn like and I'm a busy man with shit to do.
Then, my rental car with XM-Radio turned out to be a Ford-made piece of crap,
no XM-Radio and a not-so-cold air conditioner ...and this is Dallas, Texas.
"Dallas" is an Indian word for "Christ, this place is hot."
One thing worked right - the lunch we had at Ninfa's Mexican Restaurant
but, of course, they only had not-quite-tequilas like Cuervo Gold.
Why build a million dollar restaurant and then offer cheap-ass Cuervo?
However, I was able to save a life at lunch.
When Mrs Bart ordered her food, she asked for, "some onions on the side."
The waitress informed her that her requested order "didn't come with onions."
I saw Mrs Bart clutch her fork real tight and I knew exactly what was coming,
so I stood up and quickly got between the two of them - and no blood was spilled.
Good luck to the Big Dog with his surgery, and you Florida democrats.
We're visiting her folks, back in K-Drag Monday
Use this portal
and they'll send bartcop.com
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2004, bartcop.com
To hear the radio shows, you must have a login and password.
Click Here to subscribe and get your login and password.
53 is here
The VP kisses his wife with this mouth?
Click Here to hear mini-show 53
39 minutes of NaziCon2004 clips & stuff
Special thanks to Kyle McMahon and Mal DuRoque
Oh yeah, ...there's quite a bit of language in this show,
but it's not graphic and it's not manufactured.
Click Here to
to Part 1 of Show 52
Click Here to download Part 1 of Show 52
29 minutes of Bart, at least it sounds like Bart
Click Here to
to Part 2 of Show 52
Click Here to download Part 2 of Show 52
32 minutes Bart, I think it's Bart, and a little Tchaikovsky
Click Here to
Part 3 of Show 52
Click Here to download Part 3 of Show 52
27 minutes Bart, probably and other stuff
Click Here to
to Part 4 of Show 52
Click Here to download Part 4 of Show 52
30 minutes of Tally, Wanda, Jon and Chris
Click Here for the radio archives
Shirley Manson of Garbage
Shrl, call The BartPhone,
just to say "Hi!"
Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!
You can call the Bart-Phone at 918-748-1714
That would be really cool, and we'll catch you in Vegas at The Joint on your next American tour.
bartcop.com and BartCop are trademarks of attempts