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Show 57 is Very Near
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1422 - O'Reilly Sex Scandal
Wed-Thursday Oct 13-14,
Mike Malloy on AAR weeknights
"I'll tell you what would be good for the economy,
would be to outsource George Bush..."
-- John Edwards, who needs
me as a speech writer so bad, Attribution
Taunts Kerry, Tests Debate Lines
On the street, when a guy does that, you make him eat it...
Again and again Bush repeated what has
become a favorite refrain:
Kerry "can run but he cannot hide" from his record.
First, the asshole should be after his old
partner Osama, not war hero John Kerry.
Second, I say Kerry should call his bluff.
Last night, Kerry could've said, "I'm
right here, George. I'm not hiding.
I'm not afraid of you, George. I'm right
here and I'm good to go.
If you have something to say, say it
to my face - if you're man enough."
What could Bush do - besides sputter?
Kerry is three-for-three in the debates.
Bush refused to answer any questions last night.
If the question was jobs, Bush would answer with a prepared script
If the subject was Iraq, Bush would talk about the importance
of not wavering.
He never answered any questions, but still, some people
loved what he said.
America made a deadly and expensive mistake in 2000 when enough
people voted for
Bush to allow him to get within stealing distance and we have
paid the deadly price for it.
Will America continue the stupidity or will they vote their best
Right after debate,
FOX Poll: Bush 55%,
...they always lie.
MSGOP, at 9:41 CST has it Kerry 83,
CNN has it Kerry 52, Monkey 39
So, the smart guy clearly won every debate.
Will that translate into more votes?
O'Reilly in Sex Scandal
Female Fox-er reveals his nasty-ass
"I'll do anything!!"
"...he subjected her to repeated instances of
sexual harassment and spoke often,
and explicitly, to her about phone sex,
vibrators, threesomes ...and masturbation,
O'Reilly says this is "just politics," but how can that be when
he claims he's an independent, fair and balanced journalist?
Here to read O'Reilly's
oven mit sex fantasy
Maybe he helped Mommy in the kitchen as a young child in short
Let's get this pig under oath, and
then all the trailer park floozies who are down on their luck can
come forward, do the talk shows and make
themselves a few hundred thousand each in settlements.
Subject: E tu, Bartcop?
One of the things I remember most about
the 2002 midterm elections had nothing to do with the election
at all--it was the sudden disappearance
of MWO. (Still "out to pasture" after these many months...
amazingly they're still being linked to
by Buzzflash and others.)
PLEASE, oh PLEASE, don't pull an "MWO" on
us and disappear at a vital time.
Dude, I'm not going anywhere.
At the worst, I'll be every other day for
ten days or so.
If something happens, I'm right on top
I question the motives of this wealthy friend
of yours, pulling one of the strongest
and most honest democratic voices off the
Internet just before the elections.
Dude, he's my lawyer. He's
not some stalker.
I've known him 30 years. He's cool.
He could have at least rented a castle with
a high-speed connection.
There is gonna be some high-octane bullshit
right up to the last minute of this election, you know it, I know it.
I'm taking the laptop, this is no big deal.
The only thing, an issue takes about 12 hours to assemble.
When we're 'on vacation,' Mrs Bart hates
to sit in a hotel room and watch me pound away at the keyboard,
so it's tough to get a complete issue finished
each day. Plus, Mrs. Bart has had a tough year.
She deserves some free time and maybe even
a little room service.
I have no idea what happened to MWO, but
burnout is always a possibility.
Every break I take is a guarantee that
I'll be back to do more battle again tomorrow.
Truth is, I couldn't stay away if I tried
- unless the cheese totally slips off my cracker.
The occasional getaway makes that possibility
even more remote.
That said, you could use a break, I'm sure.
Vegas is fun, I've only been once, and
I got to do it while enjoying the luxury afforded to the very wealthy.
I didn't pass up a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity,
and wouldn't expect you to, either.
Dude, we've all seen your
You and I need to do Vegas together sometime :)
I could teach you what I know about Texas
and then someone else could teach you the
other 90 percent.
They could've still looked for a place with
an Internet connection!
Dude, they have phones in Vegas and LA - I'll be in touch.
I'm not disappearing - I'm just doing half-shifts
unless something breaks.
Then I'm all over it like Rush on Oxycotin.
"TV news coverage has become so twisted that
CNN not onlywithholds judgment
on who won each debate, waiting to
get spun by the campaigns, they're admitting
that they're doing so. Meanwhile, Fox,
defying the spin, ...named Bush the clear
Check out htis story in today's Salon...
It's the obvious political ad that has just
been waiting to be made -- a young Iraq war veteran,
missing a body part, talking simply and
directly to the camera about the sacrifice he made in the
service of official lies.
The new ad is the creation of a group of
some 20 Iraq war veterans operating on a shoestring budget.
Their organization, Operation Truth, http://www.optruth.org/main.cfm a nonpartisan, nonprofit group
of 150 members, is dedicated to elevating
the perspective of soldiers and holding elected officials
accountable for their policy decisions.
"I was called to serve in Iraq because the government
said there were WMDs -- but they weren't there,"
Spc. Robert Acosta, 21, who was an
ammunitions specialist with the 1st Armored Division in Iraq, says in
the thought-provoking ad. "They said Iraq
had something to do with 9/11 -- but the connection wasn't there...
So when people ask me where my arm went,
I try to find the words, but they're not there."
The ad ends with a shot of Acosta removing
his prosthesis, revealing a stub where his right hand should be.
Too bad the Democrats refuse to run ads like these.
Why are they so afraid to fight?
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More GIs Die in Iraqi violence
You want this to go on forever? Vote Bush
A suicide attack and roadside bombings
killed six American soldiers,
and Allawi warned Fallujah to hand
over Zarqawi or face military action.
Iraq's deteriorating security, including
bombings, mortar and rocket attacks,
kidnappings and shootings, has slowed reconstruction
efforts and forced the
United States to divert funds from rebuilding
Here's the problem:
Bush is perfect, he's never made a mistake,
and cannot ever make a mistake.
Ending the meatgrinder would mean Bush
was wrong and he can't be wrong
so the soldiers will continue to die
They're not going to hand
over the beheaders.
That means our soldiers are going in so
...order more caskets.
Reasons Why Bush Sucks
You'd have to be a freaking idiot to vote for this guy
22. Remember the recent headlines when
Yusuf Islam, (Cat Stevens) was deported after his name
on a U.S. security "watch list"? Turns out it was a spelling error. Nice
to know our
is devoting the proper resources to persecuting singer/songwriters of the
49. Showing just how concerned W's administration
was about terrorism leading up to Sept. 11,
10, 2001, Ashcroft cut the FBI's terrorism money 12 percent . . . a decision
regretted somewhat the following morning.
The smarter dogs read bartcop.com
"Six months after he said Osama must be caught
dead or alive, Bush was asked,
"Where is Osama bin Laden?" He said, 'I don't
know. I don't really think about
him very much. I'm not that concerned.'"
--John Kerry, last night's 3rd debate Attribution
"Gosh, I just don't think I ever said I'm not
worried about Osama bin Laden.
It's kind of one of those exaggerations."
lying his ass off last night Attribution
"I'll repeat what I said. I truly am
not that concerned about him."
--Dubya, March 13, 2002, Attribution
So it's clearly another Bush lie,
but the pro-Bush press lets him get away with that.
And as far as I know, this is the only
time Kerry ever mentioned it.
I guess it would have been impolite to mention that on the campaign trail and if Kerry hadn't
stupidly agreed to not asking direct questions,
he could've demanded that Bush explain himself
during the debate last night, but I guess
that, too, wouldn't have been polite.
His insistence on bing polite probably has cost Kerry 20 points
in this campaign...
Subject: a thought...
I am a mechanic by day and an honest one
if I do say so myself .
In my day to day work , I see a lot of
cars with Christian (fish) stickers and stuff .
Some have as many as 3 or 4 bibles inside
( maybe they will need an extra ?)
Anyway, it makes me wonder...
Would Jesus have an alarm system and a
locking gas cap on His suv ?
with Dubya" Chinaco Cup in the BartCop
Get one for the office.
It's a conversation starter.
Seriously funny clip
"I won't take my religion from any man who
never works except with his mouth."
--Carl Sandburg, who gave Chicago her big shoulders, Attribution
Government Faces Marijuana Glut
In a country where any adult can walk into
a "coffee shop" and smoke a joint
for much less than the government price,
many say the experiment is a bust.
"I think it's a shame that they can't deliver
a cannabis product a little bit cheaper
than the coffee shops," said David Watson,
head of Hortapharm.
"Why is it that a legal commodity is more expensive
than an illegal commodity?"
Hundreds here, and hundreds of thousands from LA to DC
waited hours for the chance to get a glimpse of the train
that was carrying America's just-assassinated best hope.
Look at the shock and confusion on their faces.
This was less than five years after Dallas, and just
sixty days after they assassinated Martin Luther King.
The people who did this were trying to kill the the liberal, Democratic
Think Arkansas Project.
They have taken over - and look what America has become in their hands.
"Bush may not be dumb, but he sure does think
the rest of us are. You have to assume
your audience is a bunch of borderline
morons to tell as many whoppers as he does."
--Molly Ivins, Attribution
Subject: Kerry can run
Kerry should say:
"Well, Osama has been running & hiding
from you for years
and it seems to be working for him.
I'm right here--say it to me!!!
of my business...
Daryn Kagen, Rush's alleged new girlfriend, was being teased on-air
by her co-workers
about appearing all spunky and having the glow of a sexually
That almost made me toss my Imo's pizza...
How are we excpected to get news from a gal who just rolled out
after a night of sweaty sex with the drugged up, vulgar Pigboy?
GOP Voting Scandal
It seems they're the same in all 50 states
The ballot requests are the center of an
investigation of several former staff members and
independent contractors who worked for
the Republican Party. Six workers and contractors resigned
last night. The questions focus on
whether requests for absentee ballots were processed the right way.
For now, all Stacy can do is wait for the
ballots requests, between 50 and 75 of them, to arrive at her office.
"Basically what I've been told is to treat them
just like any other absentee ballot requests, mail a ballot out
to that person, just make photo copies
of those applications. They may come into question down the road, " she
Finds Lavish Spending at TSA
But we can't afford Kevlar vests for our soldiers in Iraq?
The government agency in charge of airport
security spent nearly a half-million dollars
on an awards ceremony at a lavish hotel,
including $81,000 for plaques and $500 for
cheese displays, according to an internal
report obtained by The Associated Press.
Awards were presented to 543 Transportation
Security Administration employees and
30 organizations, including a "lifetime
achievement award" for one worker with the
2-year-old agency. Almost $200,000 was
spent on travel and lodging for attendees.
You tax dollars being stolen by the BFEE
and their allies. Bush sent men to Iraq
without guns, without water, without armor on their Humvees,
without Kevlar on their bodies,
but the fat contributors he appointed get $81,000 in plaques?
Subject: getting tough
Bart, you wrote:
> "Why did we take 1075 deaths before we decided
to get tough?".
I'd guess that the families of the Iraqi
civilians who have been butchered by American forces
in the past 18 months would disagree with
you about America's "toughness" towards them.
Why are you so desperate to see even more
Pastor, do ye have a little Monkey in ye?
Maybe those kinds of questions work on the sheep you usually
but nobody here is "so desperate" to kill anybody.
We're losing soldiers every day.
We lost six in the last 48 hours.
We've gone from "shock and awe" to "please don't behead us."
We can leave Iraq tomorrow, next week, next month, next year,
in 2014 etc.
I just want it to end sooner rather than later.
Do you think they want us to stay longer?
If Bush wins, you'll
need bartcop.com to stay sane.
If Kerry wins, the media
will do their very best destroy him.
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PO Box 54466
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Googling for RFK's exact date of death, I found this:
the CIA Framed Oswald
If I could make a suggestion for those
who have not yet read the book, but plan to: begin
by reading the final chapter, "To the Victors
Belong the Spoils." It is a powerful, highly-charged
indictment of the intelligence community,
from the assassination of JFK, to the CIA frame job of Nixon,
to the ascension of former CIA "asset"
and later director, George H. W. Bush, seen as a man who pardoned
just about every CIA related crook possible.
One that was pardoned for high crimes was Eliot Abrams, and he
was appointed to a high government position
in 2002 by, you guessed it, George Bush (different one); so not
to worry-- the whole flap about not furnishing
documents to the 9/1l investigation, or to the CIA leak investigation,
or to the WMD investigation, -- it's just
the Warren Commission revisited.
did what? And it's been uncovered?
Christ, ...I hope my eye don't start twitchin..."
babes are for Kerry-Edwards
"The acknowledged gain of the war was that
Saddam was removed,
but the rest has been tragedy
and failure. Is the world safer? No."
Hans Blix, Attribution
Isn't it odd that tens of millions of Americans don't care that
Bush screwed this up?
They're going to vote for Bush no matter how many thousands of men die for no reason,
no matter how many trillions are missing from the Treasury
- they love him no matter what.
Found in Mob Graveyard
Bonanno captains Philip Giaccone and Dominick Trinchera surface
Lake's Reputed Remains Resurface
It's like watching the Discovery Channel
Moore to Endow College Scholarship
$5,000 per academic year to a student who "stands up the
most to The Man"
Toll from Israel's Gaza Offensive Rises to 100
Thank you God, for letting me live in safe and beautiful
Takes Down Golden Arches in Britain
Move signals smaller portions and less meat on their burgers
Order yours from the BartCop Bookstore
Get your bartcop stickers! (regular sized)
Then send in your digital pictures.
Send a stamped envelope to
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we will not be offended.
With traffic, it was seven hours to St Louis.
That XM radio sure makes a long drive easier.
AAR, CNN, the uncensored Comedy Channels, Behind the Music on E!
I got here in time to see the debates and get an Imo's Pizza.
This whole town is baseball crazy, and with good reason.
The Cardinals seem destined to kick Yankee ass in ten days.
I wonder if Rude Rich is a betting man?
Tonight is the rehearsal dinner, the wedding is tomorrow.
Know You're From St. Louis When...
You love toasted ravioli with your Budweiser.
You can find Pestalozzi Street by aroma
You still can't believe the Arena is gone.
We saw Zeppelin
there in '75, saw U2 in '87.
Your non-St. Louisan friends always ask
if you're aware there is no "r" in "wash."
You know at least one person who's gotten
hurt at Johnson Shut-ins.
let you play on the rocks.
You know in your heart that Mizzou can beat
Nebraska in football.
You think the four major food groups are
Beef, Pork, Budweiser and Imo's.
You know there are really only three salad
dressings: Imo's, Zia's and Rich and Charlie's.
It just doesn't seem like a wedding without
mostaciolli. AND YOU PRONOUNCE IT 'MUSKACHOLLI'.
Plus pitchers of Busch Bavarian (class
weddings have Bud)
A hoosier is someone that lives just south
of Chouteau, not a person from Indiana.
You listen to Mike on KMOX and wonder what
game Mike Shanahan is watching.
A tear forms in your eye as someone mentions
their favorite Jack Buck story.
Or why Harry Carry was forced to flee St
Louis for Chicago.
Your favorite summer treat is handed to
Ted Drewes Frozen Custard
Just try to find a Route 66 book
that doesn't mention God's concrete custard.
You bleed Blue between September and May.
They love their NHL's Blues, but they live
and breathe Cardinal baseball.
They're calling this Cardinal drive for the pennant, "Red
The Krispy Kremes are selling red donuts.
You actually get these jokes and pass them
on to other friends from St. Louis.
"My opponent said he's going to pay for all
his programs by taxing the rich.
We've heard that kind of rhetoric before.
The rich hire lawyers and
accountants for a reason -- to pass
the tax bill on to you."
--Dubya, Colorado Springs, Attribution
But Monkey, you just explained why the super-rich don't need
because they have lawyers and accountants to help them avoid
So why do they need your trillion dollar giveaway?
Subject: teen rescued after
I saw this on the Seattle stations; interesting
to read the Canadian version
on the CTV news, which is more matter of
fact, without all the religiosity.
The woman who found the girl, great, terrific,
but the religious angle?
She said she had a dream with a certain
intersection, and that's where she went to look for the girl.
But the girl wasn't found at that intersection;
she was over an embankment.
And this woman had a dream saying the girl
had driven off the road into an area with trees
-- it's the Pacific Northwest!
There are trees everywhere.
Plus there were in the past 2-3 weeks at
least 2 other similar accidents in the Seattle area
that made the news -- people running off
the road down a treed embankment.
That's what the whole area is
No wonder she had a dream that involved
the car going off the road and trees
-- her brain was rerunning the past week's
news while she slept.
Bottom line; it's great she went looking
and really great she found her, but the
dream angle is foolish.
Jim, a shot of Chinaco you that, for you, for her,
for the victim, for everyone.
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Subject: last night's debate
I'm really pissed!
Kerry was talking about raising the minimum
wage, and stopping outsourcing and competitive trade agreements.
Shrubbie Poo kept yammering on No Child
Left Behind when he was asked about jobs. He implied that people
without jobs are uneducated and stupid.
He implied that if you can't find a job, you must be unskilled.
This pissed me off, since I have been unable
to find a tolerable job. There are lots of highly skilled middle aged
workers whose jobs are being exported to
English-speaking India for a tenth the price.
I have 3 degrees, including a doctorate
in law. My job was eliminated by the attorneys in the Legislature.
I didn't spend 12 years in college busting
ass to get lectured from a drooling monkey who apparently has had
a minor stroke and some facial paralysis.
He also smirks, bobs his head, and blinks a lot.
My partner was unemployed for six years
and he has three degrees, including a Masters' in Physics. He is
underemployed and making far less than
he was in the early 90s due to the mass firings that took place then.
Kerry didn't go far enough on the minimum
wage, but it's a start. Bush wouldn't touch minimum wage, living wage,
or any of those issues because his corporate
handlers have hissy fits when anyone mentions raising the minimum wage
by ten cents an hour or so. Bush
does not understand something: When you do not have a job, when you do
any income, tax cuts are meaningless. If
you don't have a job, you are not earning taxable income.
Bush was talking about a guest worker program.
Everybody is officially against illegal immigration, but they do
the filthy, hard jobs that the natives
won't do. Both parties need low wage workers to do those jobs.
Bush is unfit for the job, physically
and mentally, and the three debates have shown that very well.
soldier body count in Iraq
1059, 1071, 1075, 1086 dead American soldiers.
11 dead since the last issue?
28,150 amputees, wounded,
injured or mentally ill
and he's running for re-election?
Bush Have the Questions in Advance?
by The Hollywood Liberal
At one point after a Kerry answer Bush
replied: "His rhetoric doesn't match his record," but you could tell
he had no idea what rhetoric was, he just
grinned like he was the smartest kid in the class. Then while he was
giving another speech about helping the
middle class guy who lost his job, he finished what he had to say early,
so he just started the same exact answer
again, repeating it word for word, until his red light came on.
More evidence that he knew the questions
in advance. He memorized his pat answer, but since he was
criticized last time for not speaking for
his full time allotment, and finishing his answer early again, he just
starts the speech over. Like I said, no
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It had everything.
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Tommy Mack is in the house!
So is Tally, so you'll like this show.
Click Here to listen to Part 1 of Show 56
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36 minutes of Bart's expertiary debate comment
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33 minutes of Smirky McHardon debate beatdown
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28 minutes of misc political comedy
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26 minutes of SNL, Jon Stewart and misc
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Shirley Manson of Garbage says, "Another
Bush term would drive me f-ing crazy!"
Shrl, call The BartPhone,
just to say "Hi!"
Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop
Member - for free!
You can call the Bart-Phone at 918-748-1714
That would be really cool, and we'll catch you in Vegas at The
Joint on your next American tour.
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