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Show 57 is Here
Radio links below
1424 - Bungling Butcher
Sunday-Monday Oct 17-18,
Mike Malloy on AAR weeknights
"We have been impressed with Mr. Kerry's wide
knowledge and clear thinking - something that
became more apparent once he was reined
in by that two-minute debate light. He is blessedly
willing to re-evaluate decisions when
conditions change. And while Mr. Kerry's service in Vietnam
was first over-promoted and then over-pilloried,
his entire life has been devoted to public service,
from the war to a series of elected
offices. He strikes us, above all, as a man with a strong moral core."
--NYW Times, endorsing
Is it a good thing or a bad thing to be endorsed by known prostitutes?
Jeb Bush Ignored Felon List Advice
Jeb Bush ignored advice to throw out a
flawed felon voter list before it went out to
county election offices despite warnings
from state officials, according to a published report Saturday.
Florida Department of Law Enforcement computer
expert Jeff Long told his boss that a Department of State
computer expert had told him "that yesterday
they recommended to the Gov that they 'pull the plug'" on the voter database.
The e-mail said state election officials
"weren't comfortable with the felon matching program they've got," but
"The Gov rejected their suggestion to pull the
plug, so they're 'going live' with it this weekend."
These crooked bastards will break any and
all laws to elect their felonious folksy spokesman.
Prediction: The Democrats are going to let them get away
"Bush has been a polarizer at home and abroad,
confrontational with allies and adversaries alike,
blind to the effects of his favor-the-rich
economic policies and deaf to the millions of Americans
who have lost jobs or health care or
have sunk into poverty on his watch. If he were elected to
a second term, Bush could not be expected
to solve problems he doesn't concede exist."
endorsing Kerry, Attribution
and the spinning of his sex problems
New York tabloids giving the sexual
blowhard a taste of his own crap
me your number, I'll call you..."
"We're all over this story," says Bonnie
Fuller, editorial director of Star and The National
"This is not going to go away."
It damn well better not.
"Our readers absolutely know him," says Fuller
of O'Reilly, the most popular cable news anchor in
America and the driving force behind Fox's
ratings supremacy. "He's known for news, not for sex scandals.
His accuser is a working woman the same
age of many of our readers. They're going to identify with her
and want to know every detail about what
she's alleging, how he's responding, how this might go forward
and what the possible outcome might be,
how it's going to affect his career, her career, his family, his kids.
I'm sure there are going to be an enormous
number of twists and turns."
"With the advent of the month of Ramadan and
the need for Muslims to unify ranks in the face of the enemy...
We announce that the Tawhid and Jihad
Group, its prince and soldiers, have pledged allegiance to the sheikh
of the mujahideen (holy fighters) Osama
bin Laden. "
-- Zarqawi's group pledging allegiance to Osama, Attribution
Bush has done more for Osama than Osama
did for Bush on 9-11.
On 9-10, nobody even knew who Osama was,
but Bush made him world famous and popular.
Osama knew aht he was doing when he joined
forces with Bush.
"It is aimed at boosting morale and recruiting
more people by saying that Tawhid and Jihad have become
the soldiers of bin Laden in Iraq.
It also aims to belie U.S. claims that Zarqawi was an al Qaeda member
by saying he only just joined the network."
--Yasser al-Serri, who
believes the Zarqawi statement was aimed at unifying the anti-U.S. militants, Attribution
"Politicians, news people, clergy all have
images and all depend on
the trust of the public to succeed.
... You do something (sexual and
get caught), although it's not illegal,
it embarrasses your employer
because your employer operates on credibility."
--Bill the Vibrator O'Reilly Attribution
Subject: the O'Reilly accusations
I HATE Bill O'Reilly like I hate the whole
of FOX Whore News but you really shouldn't
quote the plaintiff's allegations as though
they were truth. If you think Bill Clinton (or Kobe,
or Michael) are entitled to be innocent
until proven guilty then so does that loser.
Calling him "O'Reilly, the Masturbator"
is at this point unsubstantiated -- and insults
the proud art of masturbating.
I'm going to do to O'Reilly what he & FOX did to Clinton.
If they don't like it they can sue me.
time for Bush to get worried
"The big story of the US presidential election
up to Thursday was how few undecided voters there were.
Now the final presidential debate is over,
these voters have essentially made up their minds - and it is Bush
who should be worried. If John Kerry is
elected the 44th president, it will be because of a single night in
Miami, Florida, when he came to debate
and Mr. Bush came to - well, no one is quite sure. The double-digit
lead that Gallup polls, long considered
an authority for presidential polling, gave Bush after the Republican
convention was fully erased by that fateful
"I am a registered republican. Lately however,
I can't believe how much my fellow conservatives
believe that anything that is not "Pro
Bush" or in line with the conservative way of thinking is
either biased or "liberal"... I would
like to remind you that another right-wing based political party,
not to long ago, had the tendancy to
do the same and eventually ended up burning books that were
not along the party line... they were
called "facist". This lack of viewing programs as purely a
perspective is truly making me ill
and having me think twice about what party I should belong to.
Respectfully, An american service member
--Wade Paul, Heidelberg,
Germany, in a letter to Frontline Attribution
Subject: O'Reilly just
blew his career
This little piece of gossip wouldn't see
the light of day without some damning substance.
He's about to replace pig-boy in the limelight
and there's never been enough oxycontin to cover that pain.
If I was the type of guy to beg an employee
to help me get myself off, on tape,
I probably wouldn't help lead the lynch
mob against a guy less perverted than me.
Gingrich ordered the sexual investigations
into Clinton while he hid the sec-banging from his wife.
What's wrong with stupid men?
The vulgar Pigboy, helped lead the Clinton
lynch mob while he hid his nasty-ass heroin habit.
What's wrong with stupid men?
Bob L:ivingston accepted the job as Squeaker of the house while
he had a dominatrix.
What's wrong with stupid men?
The only reason Dennis Hastert became Squeaker
is because after they went thru every other
Republican in the House, Hastert was the only man who'd never
cheated on his wife (with women.)
Nobody had ever heard of Hastert until Livingston got caught,
and the last thing the GOP needed
was three consecutive wife cheaters in a row to resign
the top House position.
"O'Reilly has called Mackris' charges "the
single most evil thing I
have ever experienced - and I've seen
a lot," but he has not denied her accusations.
What a joke - the single most evil thing he's ever experienced?
Is it really worse than Bush getting 1101 soldiers killed so
he could steal Saddam's oil?
has already won, 47%-43%
Green Bay TV station says the election results are in
AP is now saying the article was a "test
article" (WTF?) that was "inadvertently" picked up by WBAY.
Now, I've been a freelance writer/journalist
for quite awhile, as have you, but I've never heard of writing
"test articles" in advance, other than
advance obituaries for celebrities. Have you? Furthermore, I Googled
'"test article" journalism' and came up
And, now, if you go to the Link, the site
says only " You have reached a page that is currently unavailable.
We apologize for any inconvenience.
Please use your browser's BACK button to return to the previous page."
I hope they keep changing the page. It's
Sees 'Disaster' for Middle Class
Kerry accused Bush on Sunday of planning
a surprise second-term attempt to
privatize Social Security and forecast
a "disaster for America's middle class."
Little more than two weeks before Election
Day, the latest polls made the campaign
a close one, seemingly tilting Bush's way
despite debates that bolstered Kerry"
Moore's Pre-Election TV Special Nixed
Sinclair can run the 'Kerry Traitor'
lies, but honest films are denied
The cable pay-per-view company iN DEMAND
has backed away from a plan
to show a three-hour election eve special
with Michael Moore that included the
first television showing of his documentary
If Bush wins, you'll
need bartcop.com to stay sane.
If Kerry wins, the media
will do their very best destroy him.
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babes are for Kerry-Edwards
"This election has become "a giant round of
--Barry Lynn of Americans United for Separation
of Church and State, Attribution
Subject: bin Laden - Mary
I e-mailed the Kerry campaign Monday and
asked why no one had used the "I'm not that concerned"
quote from Bush. I even provided
them a link. I am not suggesting they used it because I told them
but it helped me enjoy the fact they used
it that much more.
Now my real point.
You can just see the "liberal media" salivating over a chance to take down
democrat and get more tax cuts for the
evil empires that own them. I just e-mailed that twit Paula Zahn.
For two days it has been Mary Cheney, Mary
Cheney, Mary Cheney. Damnit woman, get over it.
This Mary Cheney crap is NOT an issue; it
is not news. Zahn keeps saying that this has made headlines
and sparked outrage. Headlines?
Yes. Outrage? Bullshit. The only reason this is making headlines
Bush the dumber got his ass whooped in
three debates, and now his corporate media cronies have to rescue him.
As for outrage. I don't know anyone
who is outraged, or even cares, aside from conservative pundits (like that
little insect Hannity). I assume
the Cheney's are outraged, which I guess is their right. However,
given the fact
they have mentioned their gay daughter
before this, all this righteous indignation has been overblown to the 100th
power. Also, anybody who was party
to the McCain-black baby rumors in South Carolina in 2000 has no right
getting morally upset about anything, ever.
I told Zahn that I believe
the real media screw up here is this: you have focused solely on
the Mary Cheney
issue when the President LIED THROUGH HIS
TEETH about Bin Laden. Kerry accused Bush of saying he
was "not all that concerned" about Bin
Laden in 2002. But at the debate Bush informs us he never said that,
and that this is one of those "exaggerations."
Two seconds worth of research shows Bush not only said it, but
Kerry's quote was not even taken out of
context. Bush lied about a man who killed 3000 Americans, but all
Paula Zahn wants to cover is Mary Cheney.
I think if we asked the American people whether they are
"concerned with" Mary Cheney or Osama Bin Laden,
the answer would overwhelmingly show no one gives
a damn about Mary Cheney. Nor should
These media whores make
Sorry Bart, I just needed to vent.
A happy subscriber,
Dave, Paula Zahn does that because she's not a journalist, she's
Everyone is nice, don't send money, support American
Cancer Society instead
Biz Looking Past Stern's Shocking News
KBCR be far behind?
Crop Up in Fla. Early Voting
The cheating has already started - who's readt for this?
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Louis running 'Bartcop-style' ads
Kerry: This Monkey said Osama was
of no concern to him.
Monkey: I never said that - it's
another Kerry exaggeration.
Monkey from 2002: Osama (giggling
& smirking at the camera) is no
concern of mine...
Announcer: America, you gotta fire
So I'm wondering how Missouri Democrats ginned up the balls to
then the ads ends with, "Paid for my moveon.org."
Why can't the Democrats run their own ads?
Why does moveon.org have to save them?
What is it about Democrats that makes them
Will the Democrats ever grow up and be able to defend
They're like little old ladies who can't walk to the store without
a moveon.org Boy Scout.
Remind me: How did I get in a party of helpless old ladies?
The reception started at 7 and the booze was everywhere.
I knew not to expect any fine tequila - who can afford fine tequila
for a crowd?
There was about 250 people, and there was a giant buzz in the
Then the wedding party showed up - the men danced in wearing Cardinal baseball caps.
(Rumor has it the wedding party was drinking all afternoon.
I once could do that, too.)
After some semi-embarrassing on-camera toasts, (Camcorders and
alcohol make funny movies)
they announced it was time to eat. Prime Rib, Chicken Medabla,
St Louis mostachouli (sp?)
plus tons more good stuff.
After the food there was lots of alcohol dancing by young and
Something about St Louis Catholics - they never entirely grow
Old people were dancing with children, toddlers were dancing
with each other.
I had a good time just watching the alcohol dancing.
Then someone brought out an old chair and put it on the dance
I wondered what that was for, then they made the announcement:
That was the chair the groom's mother was sitting in when her
water broke 34 years ago.
Then, without explanation, they asked everyone to grab their drink
and get on the dance floor.
Sensing this was something to which I wouldn't want to be a part
of, we took that as an excuse
to go outside with Dave and Freddie and pay homage to God's great
work with flowers.
Turns out it was just a group photo, but you can never tell about
When we got back they were cutting/eating cake, which I got some
of the next night
at the Texas Hold 'em Poker Tournament. (I came
Then they did the "Dollar dance" thing, the point of which escapes
People stood in line with a dollar to dance with the bride or
That seemed to be a time/value oddity because a young couple
just starting out
needs a helluva lot more money than a dollar - must be a really
Seems like they should change that to the "$25 dollar dance."
That was followed my lots more alcohol dancing.
I drank very little - a beer at first, then I asked for a shot
of whiskey from the open bar.
They told me shots weren't allowed, which probably makes sense.
There were a lot of
drunk people and shots would probably just make things worse.
By 11, it was all over.
Four hours of drinking was enough to get the celebration celebrated.
The bride & groom took off for Playa del Carmen, just south
of Cancun, the next day.
The groom assured me he'd be checking out the fine tequila.
The next night we had Imo's Pizza at the Hold 'em game.
Can't beat Chinaco, Imo's Pizza and poker with
some fun friends and relatives.
The only way it could've been better was if the Cardinals had
My brother the priest did the wedding, of course. When he gives
the sermon, he always
brings the Cardinals into it. This time, be also brought in Everybody
talking about that episode where Ray's Mom explains to Ray's
wife that when you marry
a man, you end up marrying "his whole crazy family."
The bride didn't bolt, so that was a good thing.
for Kerry is a sin, Catholic bishop says
...but raping a child makes you holy?
In an interview
with The Times's David Kirkpatrick, Archbishop Charles Chaput of
Denver said a
knowing vote for a candidate like Mr. Kerry
who supports abortion rights or embryonic stem cell
research would be a sin that would have
to be confessed before receiving communion. "If you vote
this way, are you cooperating in evil?"
the archbishop asked. "Now, if you know you are cooperating
in evil, should you go to confession? The
answer is yes."
"Never before have so many bishops so explicitly
warned Catholics so close to an election that to vote
a certain way was to commit a sin," the
Times article said.
Subject: BCR Show 56
I'm about to listen to BCR Show 56. Dozens of listeners?
Gotta be more than that, you're a hoot.
I've always wanted to compliment your choice
of music, it's great.
I'm a precinct captain for MoveOnPAC.org
here in St. Lucie County, Florida.
I canvassed my neighborhood today,
everyone (damn near) is "Strong Kerry".
I had people tell me their entire republican
family is voting for Kerry.
Sure made me feel great hearing that.
Anyway, I know I'll love the show,
I always do.
Here to get 3 BartCop
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Here to send your review of Show
56 or 57
Crossfire transcript from
October 15, 2004
STEWART: How old are you?
STEWART: And you wear a bow tie.
STEWART: You know, the interesting thing
I have is, you have a responsibility to the public discourse, and you fail
CARLSON: You need to get a job at a journalism
school, I think.
STEWART: You need to go to one. The thing
that I want to say is, when you have people on for just knee-jerk, reactionary
CARLSON: Wait. I thought you were going
to be funny. Come on. Be funny.
STEWART: No. No. I'm not going to be your
Subject: Bill O'Reilly
I saw Andrea Mackris' photo at the Smoking
You know, if you aged her a little and put
on a ton of make-up,
she'd look just like Katy Harris, Jeb's
former 'Secretary' of State.
Is this separated at birth deal? Or maybe
she's a relative?
soldier body count in Iraq
1075, 1086, 1092,
1101, dead American soldiers.
9 more dead since Saturday?
The polls tell us America wants more war,
more countries invaded,
more obscene profits for BIG OIL,
more pollution in the air and water,
and more soldiers killed.
Are the polls right?
wounded, injured or mentally ill
...and he's running for re-election?
invaders seek medicine in mass prescription
Canada worried that America will invade them for fake reasons
As U.S. troops amass along the Canada-U.S.
border, and repeated inspections fail to turn up any WMDs
in this country (everyone knows Canada
hasn't produced a bomb of any magnitude since The Trouble With Tracy)
it still appears inevitable that we're
going to be invaded. Every time the Prime Minister says we don't have the
weapons, it bolsters the U.S. case that
we must be hiding them. I mean, what else would Paul Martin say if he
had weapons and didn't want you to know
The fact is, this conflict isn't really
It's about prescription drugs, and no matter
how much the White House denies it, everyone knows it.
Subject: O'Reilly's vibrator
Keep hammering the ass.
Don't forget paragraph 66 of the Makris
lawsuit that alleges O'Reilly
has his own vibrator "shaped like a cock
with a little battery in it"
How gay is that?
You have two minutes to record your message.
Hold This Dirt to Be Self-Evident
by sometimes Democrat Michael Kinsley
"Pick a sentence -- any sentence -- and
see how it's done.
President Bush: "My opponent, you
see, wrote -- or he helped to write -- this document, this so-called
Declaration of Independence. And in it,
see, he says something about how we hold these truths to be self-evident.
Now, self-evident is just a fancy word
-- or actually it's two words: Of course I know that! I can
count! -- it's just
a fancy way of saying you don't have to
say anything because folks already know it.
In other words, he's saying that you don't
have to tell the truth. Well, I just happen to disagree with that. I think
truth is one of the most important things
in our great country. The truth is American. And it's good. It's good to
the truth. But my opponent disagrees with
that. He thinks you don't need to tell the truth. And I happen to think
that's wrong. It's a difference in philosophy,
Subject: Ignorant mothereffer
Bart, you are without a doubt, the stupidest,
most ignorant, dumbass,
horse's ass, without-a-f-in' clue mothereffer
on the 'net,
You say, "Without a doubt?"
I feel there is some doubt about that,
but if you're sure....
How the fuck can you spout the mindless
idiocy that you spout, day after day after day?
It's hard work - everbody
You do more harm to our party than any of
the wet dream bullshit the pubbies can come up with.
How could one fella with a modem hurt a
party that lays down for the enemy?
You disrepect our troops.
You can't make a case for that just like
you can't make case for any of this.
If I had your potty mouth, I could scream
nasty words at you, but would that make them true?
If you had any valid points to make, you
probably would have made them by now.
I'm guessing you're a sad and lonely masturbator,
like Bill O'Reilly.
By the way, do you kiss your mother with
that filthy mouth?
You take every damn thing you can find with
the least little bit of contentiousness and then magnify
the silly shit for no other reason than
to inflame the uneducated dummys that read your crap.
Again, if you had a valid point, you would
have included examples.
Spouting nonsense makes me think you're
a Piboy fan - did I guess right?
And to actually print something that suggests
that the killing of Bobby Kennedy was Bush's fault!
Goddamn, how utterly fucking stupid!
First, I would never blame The Monkey.
His handlers, sure, but the Monkey can't
make a PB&J without help.
Now, are you suggesting Bobby killed himself
or that his death was an accident?
You are probably smarter than that.
Most people believe he was murdered, and
who would want to murder the probable next president?
Are you suggesting Johnson had a motive
to kill RFK?
No, he had already made the decision to
retire, so I'm afraid we have to look at the dead man's enemies
to assign a motive, and who are those people?
Republicans, that's who. Hidden, secretive
Republicans who pull the puppet strings from the shadows.
CIA-types, who have world domination on
their agenda, and that makes me think of the shady Republicans
who stole the election so they could start
a fake war to control the world's energy supplies AND send a
world-wide signal that America will invade,
murder and occupy any foreign power the Monkey fabricates
a case against - but you say that couldn't
be the global crime network we call the Bush Family Evil Empire?
I guess you're saying "Evil
men would never stoop to murder to control the whole world."
I disagree with that.
You claim to be a liberal and hint that
the 2d Amendment is a pipe dream of some misguided
dipshits with Nazi tendencies, yet you
keep a handgun available for your own use.
Good for you, but not for me? Is this the
way we do it?
You invent a crazy position that's not my
own, then assign it to me, then demand I defend it?
I believe you may have fecal matter for
brains, my son.
I never said the Second Amendment was a
I said pro-bazooka gun nuts need to be
watched and defended against.
You claim to be for the little man, but
you praise the merits of drinking some goddamn paint
thinner shit that comes from a foreign
country and costs an abominable amount of money.
Can you say "Elitist"?
If you chose to drink Jose Cuervo, (which
is not tequila) I wouldn't try to stop you.
Like religion, I would not interfere with
your right to do or think something crazy.
That just leaves more of the good stuff for the people who know
You claim a solidarity with the working
man, yet brag constantly about going to Vegas to gamble.
Whose fucking money you gambling with?
Some of the working men I know couldn't even afford
to buy a dollar lottery ticket. Again,
can you say: "Elitist"?
I hate it when people refuse to answer a
direct question - so yes, I can say "elitist."
Odd that you'd wonder if I had that ability.
Like fine tequila, I don't have a litmus
test for readers that they must like Las Vegas.
If you enjoy living in Jonesboro, Arkansas
and have never been as far as Memphis, I'd think
that was a shame but I wouldn't tease you
Feel free to hate Vegas all you want.
Again, that's fewer times we'll have to hear, "Sorry,
we're all sold out."
We regularly get free flights on Southwest
Airlines. Right now we have 4, and we're using
2 of those next week. Truth is, we get
more free miles than Mrs Bart gets weeks off.
If you had paid your bills on time (as
you agreed in writing to do) you, too, would qualify
for free airfare so I'm puzzled why you
would resent my receiving their free rewards.
Remember, your word is your bond, and your good name has value.
I find Vegas a remarkably cheap vacation.
When we went to New York in May, 2001,
we paid $220 for a room smaller than Motel
6 offers. In Vegas, during the week, you can
get a luxury suite big enough to play basketball
in for a tiny fraction of that amount
As far as gambling, you, the monkey with
fecal matter for brains, probably gamble 30-50
times a day but you probably don't realize
it. Odds are (there I go, gambling again) you're
not very good at gambling. What do
you have against being rewarded for correctly
out-guessing a plumber from Sioux City
at a poker table?
You're a two-faced butthole.
You are a warm and caring man with a sharp
brain and a heart of gold.
See how easy it is to lie?
Your claims that your readership and subscription
rates are increasing are as big a damn lie...
A more accurate claim would be, "You're always saying you're losing subscriptions..."
Perhaps if you read the page, you'd be
in a better position to characterize my writing.
...as the ones you told the poor gullible
persons that used to buy your damned used cars.
Shame on you.
Monkey, I found your attempt to insult me cute and entertaining,
as I'm sure others have.
Would you like to be a regular on bartcop.com?
Granted, it's not right to take advantage of those slower than
me, but I can't help it.
Monkey slapping helps pay my enormous gambling debts :)
Send me your street address and I'll send you a postcard from
Vegas with a banana on it.
Use this portal
and they'll send bartcop.com
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Read the Previous
It had everything.
© 2004, bartcop.com
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I haven't heard this 'road' show.
Let's hope it's a good one.
Click Here to listen to Part 1 of Show 57
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36 minutes of Bart's expertiary debate comment
Click Here to listen to Part 2 of Show 57
Click Here to download Part 2 of Show 57
33 minutes of Smirky McHardon debate beatdown
Click Here to listen to Part 3 of Show 57
Click Here to download Part 3 of Show 57
28 minutes of misc political comedy
Click Here to listen to Part 4 of Show 57
Click Here to download Part 4 of Show 57
26 minutes of SNL, Jon Stewart and misc
Here for the radio archives
Shirley Manson of Garbage
Shrl, call The BartPhone,
just to say "Hi!"
Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop
Member - for free!
You can call the Bart-Phone at 918-748-1714
That would be really cool, and we'll catch you in Vegas at The
Joint on your next American tour.
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