"I don't know how many ways to say no.
I don't have any desire to run for
I don't intend to. I won't do it. I won't."
--Kinda Sleazy Rice, backing
out of the 2008 race after letting it slip that
she was "mildy
pro-choice" and getting the word from her GOP owners Attribution
So, in the last few days they've dropped pro-choice Rudy and pro-choice
Sleazy from the 2008 race.
That means the GOP is lining up Monkey's successor now and
they don't want the money being split.
Meanwhile, as the GOP gears up for the race that's 40 months away,
the Democrats are staring into space, oblivious to the fact that
the race is on.
You watch - they'll make the same mistake they made in 2004.
Around October of 2008, some idiot Democrat will decide to file a
asking a judge to look into the pro-Bush software that every state is using.
Why is our side always so desperate to lose?
Why can't we avoid falling into the same traps every year?
a million' Lebanese turn out for Syrian pullout
They worded it exactly as Mr Rove ordered them to
More than 800,000 people surged into central
Beirut to demand an end to Syria's near-three decade military
domination of Lebanon, hurling a dramatic and potent
challenge to the pro-Syrian Lebanese government.
Ahead of the largest demonstration in the
country's history, thousands of Lebanese travelled from all over to
Martyrs Square and the grave of former prime minister
Rafiq Hariri, assassinated exactly one month ago in a bomb blast.
Beirut city official Mounib Nassereddine
said Monday's gathering was "at least two and a half times" larger
last Tuesday's turnout called by pro-Syrian Lebanese
parties, notably the Shiite Muslim movement Hezbollah.
When 400,000 turned out to protest Bush's
bloody involvement, they called it "thousands."
When the "We love
American soldiers" crowd come out, they call
it "almost a million."
Says California Can't Ban Gay Marriage
A judge ruled Monday that California could
no longer justify limiting marriage to a man and a woman.
"It appears that no rational purpose exists for limiting
marriage in this state to opposite-sex partners," Kramer wrote.
The judge wrote that the state's historical
definition of marriage, by itself, cannot justify the denial of equal
protection for gays and lesbians. "The state's
protracted denial of equal protection cannot be justified
simply because such constitutional violation has
become traditional," Kramer wrote.
The GOP will make tens of millions of dollars
now, warning the scared and the religiously insane that
"Gay marriage must be stooped if we're to survive
as a nation," or some such rot.
The GOP thrives on ignorance and fear and
That how racist monkeys win election - by scaring
the stupid, which is the vast majority.
The worst part?
That won't change in our lifetime.
Subject: New bankruptcy
code is a natural evolution of Bush policy
When we export millions of American jobs, the
bankruptcy tide had to be modified.
The Corporations had to be protected by
taking the last drop of blood of the sick and the jobless.
If the economic victims can find a job to
enable them to make payments on their debt, it will be at
a greatly reduced pay rate while they face living
costs inflated by the American Pharmas and the
oil buddies in Saudi Arabia and WAR PROFITEERING.
It is really an American Dream when the
Political Parties Cooperate so courageously with the
Corporations to put down the worker class. Why
are they converting America to Fascism?
Is this how they conduct the War on Terrorism? But
9/11 changed everything. Right?
It destroyed our whole system. Wrong became
We should worry that a Civil War will break
out at home.
From now until
the end of March,
"Not me" will double
Order 1 get 1 free,
get 500 free.
You can't go wrong with
a deal like that.
Can't Be Trusted With Guns
an editorial from fauxnewschannel.com
a black man
have a gun?"
Where's the outrage? Another
black man went nuts, probably regressing into what some scientists
have called "Jungle Fever," and shot to death a
judge, a prosecutor, and a white deputy who tried
to stop him. The "man," Brian Nichols, would later
kill a customs agent.
Subject: women? give us
Some women don't choose their nightly
news show based on the cuteness of the broadcaster, for Christ's
In fact, it does not matter to me how cute they
are- if they are shallow and irritating - and they all are - I won't
watch them no matter how much plastic surgery they
Anna, that's a big difference in the sexes.
Men will watch a pretty but brainless woman all day.
If you don't believe me, turn on FOX News.
(and Poker winner) with Al Franken at Austin's SXSW Festival
Price at 2nd Highest Level Ever
The average price we pay for gas is a penny
from the all-time record, the government said on Monday.
The current record gasoline price is $2.06 set
Because we have a greedy oil monkey in the
White House, the national pump price increased 5.7 cents
over the last week to $2.05 a gallon, up 33 cents
from a year ago.
Wait a minute - a year ago we had 571 dead
soldiers and gas was $1.72
Now we have 1516 dead
soldiers and the price of gas went UP 33
So, a year from now we'll have 2500 dead
soldiers and gas will be $2.40?
...and will the networks still be
telling us what a great president he is?
"Somehow, John Kerry, Al Gore, they all felt
the need to buddy up to the red-state, NASCAR,
gun-loving, beer-drinking culture. And I'm perfectly
happy to live in a country where there is that culture.
I just wish there was somebody to stand up for
the other half of us. We have the Republicans and the
people who are trying to be like Republicans.
I wish we had a candidate who said, "You know what?
My religion or whatever it is, is none of your
business, and it doesn't really affect how I do the job of
president and I'm going to promote science and
rationality - how about that?"
--Bill Maher, Attribution
Opens Texas office for kids
Toddler Shot by 4-Year-Old Brother
A 2-year-old remained in critical condition
Sunday after being shot by his 4-year-old brother,
who may not have known the difference between a
real and toy gun, police said.
Police said the boys had been arguing at
their Houston home on Saturday when the 2-year-old threw
a toy at his brother. The older boy got the
loaded gun from a purse and shot his brother once in the temple.
Authorities said the 4-year-old didn't seem to
understand what he had done.
"He's wondering where his brother is, and when
his brother's coming back,'' Grysen said. .
Remember their mantra:
More guns, more God, less education and homo marriage can kill.
Subject: cry for help
Dear friend, greetings to you in the
name of our heavenly God.
This mail might come to you as a surprise
and the temptation to ignore it as unserious could come
into your mind; but please, consider it a divine
wish and accept it with a deep sense of humility.
My name is pauls Zackers.
I,m a 59 years old man. Presently,
I,m in a hospital where I have been undergoing treatment for
oesophageal cancer. I have since lost my ability
to talk and my doctors have told me that I have only a few months
to live. It is my last wish to see this money distributed
to charity organizations. Because relatives and friends have
plundered so much of my wealth since my illness,
I cannot live with the agony of entrusting this huge responsibility
to any of them. Please, I beg you in the name of
God to help me collect the deposit and the interest accrued from
the company and distributes it amongst charity
organizations. Use your judgement to distribute the money and feel
free to reimburse yourself when you have the money
for any cost you incur during the process of collecting and
distributing the money to charity organizations.
I,m willing to offer you a reward If you are willing to help; please
reply as soon as you can. May the good Lord bless
you and your family.
PZac, hows about you PayPal me your millions and I go to Vegas
and donate your hard-earned money
to the charities of lesbian coke dealers, well-tanned, tranny hookers and
high roller Texas Hold 'em games?
Would that do?
Subject: debating bartcop,
> Subject: Re: Debating Bartcop, REPLY
> Thank you for your reply.
> Even after your through explanation I still
must take issue with your reason for not debating Bartcop.
> My understanding is that Bart just wished to debate
the issues with you. What connection debating
> the issues has to do with Bartcop's "background" escapes
> For instance; you choose to spend time answering
my message. Was it necessary for you to know that
> I am a 67 year old woman, California native, mother
of two, grandmother of six, great-grandmother of one,
> former waitress and former tax preparer, in order for
you to write to me?
> As you know, it appears to be impossible for
Bart to find a Republican/Conservative willing to debate with him.
> The reasons they give are varied. Even my own
son said he was "too busy to debate an idiot"
> I am afraid I find your reasons suspect also, but again,
thanks for the reply.
> Penny M.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- - - -
spins a yarn
Congressmanbillybob uses mistreatment as excuse
I just had an extended run in with Bartcop
and his cadre of crazies.
I was my fault; I was polite to those people to
He stole that directly from me.
Remember how that bit was introduced?
nice doesn't work
When I realized what they were like, I backed
That's clearly a lie told by a liar without
He was treated with respect, even to the extent
> "If we debate, I will treat you with respect.
> Even if YOU go nuts, I'll say, "Maybe
we should stop" instead of flaming you back. "
Trust me, I can't get any nicer than that.
This short skirt bailed out because I wouldn't
fax him my personnel file.
I pointedly asked,
> "John, what personal info of mine do you
need to defend your president?"
he "backed away" - loooooooooooong before
I printed his e-mail.
He pussied out before I printed his letter
(that's why I printed it) but noew the liar claims
he had to leave because of "what they were like."
The truth is, Bush policies are indefensible
and he chose to run like a scared little girl.
Poor bastard - he's got nothing to hide
behind but a clumsy lie.
What a coward - I feel sorry for the guy.
How can the right be content to have such
That enraged them like spraying a hose on
a hornet's nest.
They are a strange group with about 3,300 true
believers signed up on their website.
The differences between them and DU are marginal.
(Proud to be a FORMER member of the Bar of the
US Supreme Court since July, 2004.)
He "enraged us" by being Loudmouth #500
to talk real tough only to
retreat when challenged.
How many more years will my debate challenge
Isn't there one conservative on the entire
www who has the pills for a friendly debate?
I'm talking about a friendly, PG-17 debate with
respect and maybe even some humor.
After I'm gone, they' ll say, "He
wasn't that good - *I* coulda beaten him..."
So - where are you while I'm still here?
"Bush is a natural-born loser with a filthy-rich
daddy who pimped his son out to rich oil-mongers.
He hates music, football and sex, in no particular
order, and he is no fun at all."
S.Thompson, who partied with Bush in his cocaine days Attribution
Gaffes Cited in Courthouse Murder Spree
The deputy, a 51-year-old woman just 5
feet tall, was simply no match for the inmate she was escorting
to the courtroom, a 6-foot-1, 200-pound former
college linebacker on trial for rape. Authorities say Brian
Nichols overpowered deputy Cynthia Hall, took her
gun, and easily gained access to the courtroom, where
he went on to kill the judge and a court reporter.
Security cameras captured images of him overpowering the
deputy, but it turned out no one was watching
Earlier in the week, Nichols was found to
have had two homemade knives in his shoes while in court.
And his getaway car was found 13 hours later5 in
the same parking garage where it was allegedly carjacked. .
I hope they don't fire anyone over this because they're likely
to be re-hired as airport security.
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Greatest Dirty Joke Ever Told
by Frank Rich, a good man stuck at the NYWTimes
Gilbert Gottfried, took the stage, decked
out in preposterously ill-fitting formal wear, has a manic voice so
he makes Jerry Lewis sound like Morgan Freeman.
He grabbed the podium for dear life and soon he delivered
what may have been the first public 9/11 gag: He
couldn't get a direct flight to California, he said, because
"they said they have to stop at the Empire State
There were boos, but Mr. Gottfried moved
As the mass exodus began, some people were
laughing, others were appalled, and perhaps a majority of us were
in the middle. We knew we had seen something remarkable,
not because the joke was so funny but because it had
served as shock therapy, harmless shock therapy
for an adult audience, that at least temporarily relieved us of our
burdens and jolted us back into the land of the
living again. Some weeks later Comedy Central would cut the bit
entirely from its cable recycling of the roast.
But in the more than three years since, I have often reflected upon
Gottfried's mesmerizing performance. At a terrible
time it was an incongruous but welcome gift. He was inviting
us to once again let loose.
Gilbert Godfried's not my favorite, but
somebody had to break the "fun is bad" barrier after 9-11.
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'Monday Night Mandingo' Incident OK with Us
"It's not that often a brother gets the white woman..." Powell-less
Sure, the steamy introduction was titillating,
showing the bare back of lily-white pimpette Nicollette Sheridan
as she jumped into the arms of not-so-lily-white
football player Terrell Owens, but U.S. regulators ruled Monday
the racy clip didn't violate federal indecency
standards. In a unanimous decision, the FCC said
"simply is not graphic or explicit enough to be
indecent under our standard. Had TO been seen dry humping
the white woman, that would have been good enough
to violate our standards." They ruled it "too tame."
Monday Night Football vowed to get it right
Doesn't Recognize Famous Guitarists
Queen Elizabeth II met four of Britain's
most famous guitarists Tuesday, asking them: "And what do you do?"
Beck, Clapton, Page and May were guests at a Buckingham
Palace party to honor British music.
...saw it on
Bush guilty of illegal "covert propaganda"
But the press refuses to call their boss on his crimes
The White House has defended their use
of video news releases that are sent to local TV stations
and frequently used without any acknowledgment
of the government's role in their production.
Bush's Justice Department says it was appropriate
as long as the videos presented factual information
about government programs. The memo was sent to
heads of federal departments and agencies.
"The prohibition does not apply where there is
no advocacy of a particular viewpoint, and therefore it
does not apply to the legitimate provision of information
concerning the programs administered by an agency,"
according to the Bush Justice Department, where
all jobs are subject to Bush's personal whims.
The advice conflicts with the opinion
of the Government Accountability Office, which is the investigative
arm of Congress. The GAO says that video news
releases amount to illegal "covert propaganda" when
they fail to make plain that the government
is behind the releases.
Subject: Fear and Loathing
Just wondering, when are you gonna write
You seem somewhat comparable to HST.
I just don't want to come home from work
someday and read some online
news story that says "Ol Bart found dead today
of an apparent suicide."
Police reports indicate that the gonzo journalist
fired 10 shots into the back of his head".
Doug, great questions.
The suicide option has been taken from me, at least for the nezt
Not that I checked, but I assume suicide negates the life insurance.
So if I "commit suicide" in the next 8 years, there's no doubt it
If they find my dead ass in some Arkansas hotel room, read
my last ten issues - the clues will be there.
If I get some deadly dirt on Der Monkey, I'll be dropping clues like Goldilocks
Besides that, I don't do depression.
Depression is my bitch.
Depression can blow me.
If I have a bad day, make depression wear the pink skirt and dance
so there's no chance that I'll lose a few poker hands in a row and do something
BTW, thanks for the "somewhat" to HST.
Usually when a comparison is made, I say, "He's
like me with an extra hundred IQ points."
What can I say about HST? "He
was like Bart - with lots more drugs?"
"I've had an unusual life. If something happens...
I'd wind up ahead
of where 99.99 percent of the people who ever
lived did. I'm just grateful
for every day when the sun comes up."
-- Big Dog, on the eve of his
latest surgery Attribution
we becoming an insane nation?
This administration has committed crimes
against humanity and the average American cannot see it. The
this country must wake up and face the fact that
our country has become the new world bully. The president acts
like a dictator, telling us what is best for us. Its
trickle down economics again. And very little is trickling down.
The most disturbing thing is the press and
the news media. Or should I say the corporate media. We are
being brainwashed into thinking that Bush knows
what is best for the world, and if you do not see it, then something
is wrong with you. The
health care system is a joke. The only people who can afford to go into
the hospital are
those who have health insurance on their jobs;
the very rich and those who are completely poor. But Bush talks
about reforming social security. This is
a smoke-screen. Are we as Americans stupid, deft and blind to what
are doing to ourselves and to the rest of the world.
We as a people have always been arrogant and lovers of money.
Now we will pay the price for looking down
on the people of the world. Pay a price for trying to destroy
We will pay a price for training dictators to control
Latin and South America. I love right, and I treat people
I want to be treated. I refuse
to fall into the Christian trap; of thinking that Christians have a right to
force their beliefs
on all other people of the world. Christianity
is not for me. Nor is any other religion. I quest that this countries
are making me sick. Our country
is going down hill fast and very few people feel it. We are
drunk with power.
And as a nation we are obsessed with fear. To
me power + fear = INSANITY.
Are we becoming an insane nation? Let
us ask the people of the world. Lets listen to how they see us.
Oops! I forgot! We no
longer have a free press.
But foreign news is not good for us. They
do not like us because we are so powerful and brave. If
that sounds sick,
its because it is. We must open our eyes;
but most of all we must open up our hearts and began to love people of other
We've got lefty books by lefty authors.
Held Hostage Describes Ordeal
Cops: "We were prepared for the worst and we got the best"
The woman held hostage by the judge killer said
her ordeal began with the man sticking a gun in her side
and tying her up, but ended with the weapons on
the floor as he let her go to see her young daughter.
"You're here in my apartment for some reason," she told
him, saying he might be destined to be caught
and to spread the word of God to fellow prisoners. He
eventually put down the guns police say he took
when he overwhelmed sheriff's deputies, putting
them on the floor and later under a bed.
When morning came, Nichols was "overwhelmed" when
Smith made him pancakes, she said.
They watched television news reports about the
slaying and the manhunt for Nichols.
"She acted very cool and levelheaded. We don't normally
see that in our profession," said Officer Moloney.
"It was an absolutely best case scenario that happened,
a complete opposite of what you expected to happen.
We were prepared for the worst and got the best."
She said, "God protected me."
So, why didn't God protect the four others he killed?
is the new Israel
For years we've had a problem talking about the
People I know to be normal, sane people turn into
illogical, screaming meemies when Israel comes up.
They lose all self control and start assigning
wild-ass, semi-religious motives to me, your science and logic host.
Well, torture has become the new Israel.
When some people see the letters t,
o, r, t, u, r, and e in
succession, their brain stops working and they fall
into some kind of foggy auto-pilot where no logic
or facts are allowed - then they start typing and hit "send."
When asked, "Would you allow a guilty man to
be slapped to save ten million lives?" they say no!!!
"Slapping is wrong!" they
say, but watching 10,000,000 innocent people die for no reason makes sense?
In the end, there is no debate because I can't
get anybody to allow a slap to save ten million lives.
If I ever find someone who thinks a slap is less
harmful than 10,000,000 murders, the debate can begin,
...but we're not there yet.
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Subject: Saddams Real Captor
Bart, what do you think of this picture?
Lonzie, it's hard to say - when was Saddam on Law & Order?
Saddam looks right for Dec 2003, but who knows?
That could be another Karl Rove Photoshop trap.
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has worsened terror risk
The U.S.-led war on terrorism has made al-Qaeda
an even more dangerous organization, a senior
Canadian intelligence official said Monday. The
blunt assessment of the group's increased "lethal effectiveness"
came during a bail hearing for an Egyptian national
detained as a threat to Canada's national security.
U.S. action in Afghanistan that followed the Sept.
11 terrorist attacks "significantly degraded" al-Qaeda's
infrastructure and its ability to provide support
for other extremist Islamic groups, said the official, identified only as J.P.
However, that merely prompted bin Laden to put
out calls to like-minded groups "to take over the fight,"
said J.P., the deputy chief of counter-terrorism
with the Canadian Security and Intelligence Service.
"That appeal has been effective," J.P. said,
saying that the effect has been a "net increase" in terrorist
and the results can be seen in "broken bodies
and blood in the streets."
"We now have a more dangerous al-Qaeda."
I think everyone believes that except for the people stealing $100M
a day - and their talking heads.
Subject: bart's straw man
Bart, you wrote:
> "One slap on one face doesn't equal 26 million people being murdered by
> Please don't suggest that it does".
You're beginning to sound pretty Rush to me.
Ron of Chula Vista, CA
Ron, you want me to prove the Nazis killed 6 million Jews
and 20 million Russians?
Does that mean it didn't happen?
I'm not a historian or a scholar or even very bright, but it's my understanding
the 26 million figure
is accepted by everyone - except those who scream, "ZIONIST
PIG FUCKERS!" in all caps.
Christ, I can't say anything without being called "Rush" these days?
I need a break from either this page or reading e-mails.
soldier body count in Iraq
1517 dead soldiers under Bush
will land in the dark at Dover.
How many more, America?
attacked by Harvard Paper
worshipper: "a loser and a chicken"
In an editorial published last week in The Crimson,
Harvard's newspaper, the staff lambastes Hilary Duff,
calling her a "loser and a chicken" because she
didn't go through Harvard's notoriously difficult undergraduate
admissions process and won't be participating in
campus activities. Duff is not a student at Harvard proper,
but is auditing courses through the Harvard Extension
School, a continuing-education program that allows the
singer to take a few classes online, including
environmental science, government, and sociology.
The Shield returns
tonight with Glen Close as Mackey's new boss, "Captain Monica"
On American Idol, is that cutie
from Checotah, Oklahoma still in the race?
House continues to be TV's best
show, in my opinion. Catch it.
U2 and The Pretenderson
VH-1's Saturday replay of the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame ceremonies.
Poor Chrissie, last night had to be tough on her.
She lost 2/3 of
her band to heroin.
Has any band lost as much?
HBO's America Undercover will do
a show on Air America Radio later this month
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Shrl, call The BartPhone,
just to say "Hi!"
Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member
- for free!
You can call the Bart-Phone at 918-748-1714
That would be really cool, and we'll catch you in Vegas at The Joint on
your next American tour.
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