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Thurs-Fri   Sept 29-30, 2005     Volume 1628 - Youa Culpa 

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In Today's Tequila Treehouse...
Frog-marching Bush 
My First Time
FEMA's cruise deals
Bush attacks Oregon
DeLay blows Bush 
TomFlocco discredited
Tom Cruise kills Oprah
The Lie of the Century
Jodie Foster panic 


 Quote of the Day

"I have confidence in Tom 
  DeLay's leadership and I 
  have confidence in Tom DeLay." 
    --Bush, wrong on everything  Link


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"Some say the hurricanes may have been a sign of God's displeasure,
  a manifestation of the fact that we're living in end times. I wasn't sure
  I agreed -- until yesterday, when I saw this: tape of Dubya saying:
 -"We can all pitch in by using -- by being better conservers of energy."
      --Jon Stewart,


'Frog-Marching' Bush to the Hague
    by Robert Parry at  consortiumnews.com


Private Lynndie England is the latest low-ranking American soldier to be shackled and "frog-marched"
off to prison for committing abuses in Iraq. Yet, the U.S. news media and political leadership continue
to shun any suggestion that George W. Bush and other war architects should be held accountable for
the bloody fiasco that they launched  under false pretenses and without UN sanction. It remains beyond
the pale to think that Bush might deserve to be "frog-marched" to the Hague

Damn, I like the sound of that.

Frog-marching that never-worked-a-day-in-his-life theiving murderer right into a jail cell.
Then he could clean toilets for 11 cents a day and finally be able to say he's not worthless.


My First Time
  by Cindy Sheehan


Being arrested is not a big deal. Even though we were arrested for "demonstrating without a permit,"
we were protesting something that is much more serious than sitting on a sidewalk: the tragic and
needless deaths of tens of thousands of innocent Iraqis and Americans (both in Iraq and here in America)
who would be alive if it weren't for the criminals who reside in and work in the White House.

The fine for "demonstrating without a permit" is $75.00.
I am certain that I won't pay it.

My court date is November 16th.
Any lawyers out there want to help me challenge an unconstitutional law?o

Spectacular poker.
She called their bluff
Her trial will be covered by dozens if not hundreds of news organizations.

We better get some bloggers in there so we can hear the truth.


 Frist in more trouble?
  SEC upgrades to "formal investigation"


The change means the agency can issue subpoenas for documents rather than just requesting them.
Federal prosecutors also are investigating the cat molester's recent stock stock about two weeks
before its price dropped. Frist's family founded the big hospital operating company.

The SEC has made the investigation formal, a person familiar with the matter said Wednesday,
speaking on condition of anonymity because the agency does not comment publicly on its inquiries.

"I'm no Martha Stewart," Frist protested. "I don't know mauve from taupe.
 I can't even make macaroni and cheese for Christ's sake."

I gotta say, I'm enjoying watching Bush drowning in the spiraling waters of disapproval,
DeLay is about to get a cellmate named "Bubba," and Frist can kiss 2008 goodbye - but
if he's lucky  - maybe he can get a cell on the same block as the little bully Bug hammerer.


Subject: Amber Frey

What is this obsession that you have with Scott Peterson?

Obsession isn't a word I'd use there...
Has he even been mentioned in the past couple of months?

And as for the comments on September 29 by John about
"dropping Amber Frey into San Francisco Bay"....er, she has two young children.
What is wrong with some people?

Some call it irony, some call it humor.
Do you  really  think I want Amber Frey killed?

I don't know what happens to you sometimes,
but you can be really sexist when you want to be!

Terry C

She stole money from a man every month for four years and I called her on it.

And wasn't it her "credibility" that will put a needle in Peterson's arm?
It damn sure wasn't the evdience we saw at his trial.

...you do know I comment on stuff in the news, right?


Click  Here

Bush attacks Oregon Suicide Law
  Religious insanity trumps common sense


Bush is challenging Oregon's assisted suicide law, arguing that helping the dying
in horrible pain is an improper use of medication and thus violates federal drug laws.

Bush's stacked Whore Court will hear arguments in the case on Oct. 5.
Supporters of the assisted suicide law say a favorable high court ruling
could lead other states to follow Oregon's lead.

That may be true, but Bush is stacking the court with right-wing handjobs like "Brownie."
They're going to follow Bush's orders as payback for a lifetime appointment.

Why does Bush feel the need to force the federal government into everyone's lives?
Why is "more government" always the answer to everything?
How can he claim Reagan is his role model?

If only the Democrats had an ounce of courage or the brains to realize that if they're
going to lose anyway, it would be better to lose fighting than smiling like a wooden duck.


DeLay seriously blows Bush
  Just another day in Texas politics


In a serious blow for Der Monkey, Tom DeLay was forced to step down as
House bully to face a conspiracy charge in a money laundering scheme.

Bush, who relied on DeLay's bullying the ultra-fem democrats, is already having
a tough time dealing with a party beleaguered by Katrina and divided over whose
kids have to pay for Bush's massive spending spree - the biggest in all of history.

DeLay's indictmen is an opportunity for Democrats to pound Republicans on
corruption issues, but the question is - do Democrats have any fight in them?

Hey, look at the TV!
They're swearing in the swing vote to erase women's rights!

Yay Democrats!

Your bravery wins the day again.


"I'll get even with them,
...every goddamn one of them,
...I'll have them fucking killed,
...all of them,
...every one of them..."

Subject: your posters

I am the Diane in one of your photos.
I stopped to help as much as I could and got to hand out some signs.

People were SO delighted to get  and to carry those signs!
I wish I could put it into words, but I just can't.

One guy said he didn't want his poster stapled onto a stick
because it was so beautiful that he was going to have it framed.
The signs were a GREAT idea.


Somalia Piracy Alarming
 Will Bush pull another 'Blackhawk Down?'


Somalia's pirates are nothing if not brazen ÷ not only seizing a ship carrying U.N. food aid
but using it to hijack another ship off the coast of their lawless land in the Horn of Africa.

Piracy on the Somali seas has reached alarming proportions, analysts say.
But the weak Somali government says there is little it can do.

Somalia's coast guard disintegrated when warlords overthrew Siad Barre in 1991.
Warlords then turned on each other, plunging the country of 7 million into chaos.

"Unka Dick, can we fix daddy's mistake in Somalia?
 Can we, Unka Dick?   Can we?
 Can we fix it like we fixed Iraq and Katrina?
 Can we, Unka Dick?   Can we?"


Subject: BCR on AAR

For real, Bart.  Have you asked Air America to broadcast your stuff?
I think you should.
Bob in a Cadillac

Dude, AAR has the best and the brightest.
They (and do) can have anybody they want.

Plus, I hear they pay top dollar!
Randi said O'Reilly was yapping about how much she makes.

Plus, I'd have to train myself to say, "those gosh-darn Republicans." 
That'd be tough.



"It was like driving through cake batter. Mud and crude oil mixed together
  look like brownie mix. None of our vehicles will ever need a lube job, that's for sure."
      -- Brad Yazel, recovering bodies in New Orleans,  Link


Subject: doing a shot


I was reading down your page yesterday and read about delay and I'm thinking
"Boy, I'll bet Bart did a shot of the good stuff over this."

I get to to the bottom of the page and sure enough. ha ha

Lin, yep, and it tasted good, too.
I look forward to the day when I can drink two beers
and share it with the Bug Man's grave 45 minutes later.


Thanks to   BobHarris.com

Go there and read the story.

 FEMA Under Fire for Rita


Saying they were caught off-guard by the number of people in need, FEMA officials
closed a relief center early on Wednesday after some of the hundreds of hurricane
victims in line began fainting in triple-digit heat.

The midday closing of the Houston disaster relief center came as officials in areas hit hardest
by Hurricane Rita criticized FEMA's response to the storm, with one calling for a commission
to examine the emergency response.

FEMA spokesman Justin Dombrowski said the agency closed the center for the day because
of the heat and the unexpectedly large crowds. Those already in line were allowed to enter.

Needs to be said?
People in New Orleans and Houston can, in most cases, handle the heat.

If you move from St. Paul to Vegas, you'll certainly be overwhelmed by the heat.
It will drain you, it will stun you and it will sap your strength - I understand that.
The New York reporters are having a problem with the heat - that makes sense.

The very old, the very young and the sick are having problems, but remember what
Richard Pryor said in his New Orleans concert movie, Here and Now?  click to order

(From my memory)
"In New Orleans, it stays pretty warm all year round, right?
 I mean, when it gets cold here, ...it gets what, fifty?"

Then he talked about that, "Cold-ass Chicago wind coming off the lake that waited
for you around the corner of tall buildings downtown and when you turned the
corner the cold would grab your ass & shit... that's a cold mother-effer..."

(Sorry Richard and Jennifer - if I had more time I'd locate my copy and quote you verbatim. :)

I'm not mocking the suffering Katrina victims, so don't write.
I'm just saying they live in that heat every day of their lives.


Rush caller: "I saw 2,000 people - on each side."
soon to be heard on BCR 83

Subject: New House Leader Roy Blunt

It is my hope that now that Tom Delay has stepped down that his replacement,
Roy Blunt, will take the Republican party in a new direction, back to smaller
government, balanced budgets, and fiscal responsibility. Over the past years since
the GOP took control government spending has been out of control with the
government now spying on everything we do, soaring deficit spending, and
rising taxes on the middle class America is being looted.

Roy Blunt was elected in 1996 replacing the retiring Mel Hancock who was
one of the most fiscally responsible members ever elected to congress. It is my
hope that Roy Blunt will take the GOP in a different direction than self annihilation
and earn his place in history as the guy who turned things around.

Marc Perkel
San Francisco, CA.

Marc, it's my understanding Blount was given power for one reason:
Well, read the story after Karen Hughes...


 Gay man shares House power


Poor David Dreier. He spent sooooo many years hiding his gay life from the radical right
and just a few years after he attains the Chairmanship of the powerful House Rules Committee
-- the youngest person ever to do so, and perhaps the first gay man -- is now: BUSTED!



Subject: I know why Al Qaeda hasn't attacked

Bush stopped them.

ha ha

No thanks to you and your traitorous co-ideologists.

Let's play "What if the Monkey was right?"
Let's say Bush has so fixed airport security that they can't grab a plane.

Tell me how Bush stopped every religious handjob in the country from
stealing a loaded gasoline truck and driving it into Radio City Music Hall.

Go ahead, I'll wait.

You have been hoping for another attack for years.

No, but everyone expected another attack - why'd they stand down?
Did Al Qaeda suddenly become shy?
Did Osama send word that he regretted 9-11?
Did they decide it "wasn't fair" to surprise attack civilians?
Did they start thinking like westerners?

Nothing like dancing on the bodies of the dead to make a point that nobody believes.

Making $130M a day off the bodies of 1926  1933 dead soldiers is worse.

Now come tear me up.

No need - your words make you look stupid enough.
It's gotta be tough being you.

Have a great one,

I always do...


Subject: party dude identified

Bart, the old guy is named "Billy".
The woman pushing him called him that when she told him I wanted a picture.
She said he was turning 88 in 4 days (!).

He had flown  in from Chicago just for the event (and BOY, were his arms tired - Ba-Dum-Crash!).
When I commented that it was so great to have someone his age alongside infants and everything
in-between, he said that he absolutely HAD to come, because "Bush is screwing up this country". 

After I took his pic, he pulled out a disposable camera from his coat pocket and asked me
to take another shot on his camera.  Several people in our group have diaried about this guy
- he made quite an impression because he was so genuine and warm.  You can see it in the picture.

Dem in VA

Thanks, Dem in VA - Billy looks like he'd be fun to party with.

Billy - a shot of Chinaco for you, Dude.
If we had more like you we'd be running this country.



"Smoke pot, ...smoke lots and lots of pot."
   --  Randi Rhodes's life-saving advice for National Guardsmen who get called up

This guy called randi Thursday, said his friend was NG and got called up to help clean up
New Orleans, which he's trained to do. But once they had him, they sent him to f-ing Iraq.
No training, no combat experience, probably no armor - the guy could be another Bush victim.
So randi Rhodes says either smoke some pot ...or have some gay sex.

Gee, I like that pot!


Subject: Jack Abramoff

Abramoff was a fixer.  And I suspect, a bagman and extortionist.
He told his clients, "If you don't pay up, something bad will happen."

The Mafia does it all the time.

Is that why Democrats are so afraid of Delay?.
Because the little squirrel barked at them?


 Jobs, housing needed for storm victims 
     bartcop.com   reader needs help


A Billings family that reads  bartcop.com  has taken in a Florida couple displaced by Katrina
and Rita is seeking help from the community in finding jobs and permanent housing for the pair.

Crystal and Tony Lewis took in Mark and Jen Brown, who they met thru craigslist.org,
The Browns traveled to Billings by bus, paid for by donations, and arrived here Tuesday.

Crystal Lewis said Jen Brown is five months pregnant, so she and her husband are eager
to find a place to live before the baby is born. They would like to find permanent jobs in Billings
and settle down here, she said. Their house suffered such damage that they left Florida with
nothing but two backpacks full of supplies, she said.

Details on how to help them are in the link.
Do not send donations directly to  bartcop.com


Subject: missing Horse

Mediawhoresonline was the best (and I like bartcop very very much)
Please Bartcop make the friend tell you more!

We are desperate for more info on the Palomino Arab Quarterhorse stallion thoroughbred


I have invited the Horse to contact us.
Can't go much farther than that.



 Subject: donation

Bart, please tell the world that IPOC
from South Carolina hates Bush,

thanks and keep on, keepin' on.

We have WPE stickers!    Free with any donation

Four stickers for one donation!

(If you don't miss Clinton, tell me and I'll leave that sticker out.)

You can donate with PayPal...or  snail mail.

 PO Box 54466
 Tulsa, OK  74155

  Click  Here  to subscribe or donate



 Subject: Bartcop reader on "Surface"

Shameless plug from one of your LA march photographers:
You can catch me on "Surface," Monday night 8pm NBC.
I'll be behind the desk and out of my league with Lake Bell.

ha ha

Nuthin' like an unabashed liberal to spice up a night of escapism....
Fred Maske

                       Fred with "Surface" star Lake Bell

Fred, you may have a better job than me  :)


Bush bullies hiding  bartcop.com  from you?

Surf anonymously
by entering bartcop.com   HERE

FEMA criticized for cruise ship deal
 Did Tom Coburn (R-Jesus Twin) get one right?



FEMA needed 10,000 berths on full-service cruise ships and they needed them now.
The $236 million deal with Carnival Cruise Lines for three ships that now bob more than half empty
in the Mississippi River and Mobile Bay. The six-month contract ÷ staunchly defended by Carnival
but castigated by politicians from both parties ÷ has come to exemplify the cost of haste that followed
Katrina's strike and FEMA's lack of preparation crooked ass BFEE greed-mongers.

If the ships were at capacity, with 7,116 evacuees, for six months, the price per evacuee would total
$1,275 a week, according to calculations by aides to Sen. Tom Coburn (R-Okla.). A seven-day
Caribbean cruise out of Galveston costs $599 a person ÷ and that would include entertainment
and the cost of actually making the ship move.

Gee, I'm so surprised.
Bush stole half of that $236 million.
Every catastrophe makes more millions for the most crooked administration in history.


Subject: Bart, tell your readers

If you're as upset as I am about the lack of coverage of last week's peace marches
take a minute and send an angry letters to the Bush-protecting media whores.



..and don't forget Bush's butt-plug,




In the last issue, Volume 1627 - Delay Indicted, what got published was,

> Prosecutors renewed their request to a judge Tuesday to interview the vulgar Pigboy's
> doctors and their employees as part of a doctor-shopping investigation of the Nazi liar.

That line should've read:

> Prosecutors renewed their request to a judge Tuesday to interview the vulgar Pigboy's
> doctors and their employees as part of a doctor-shopping investigation of the scum-sucking,
> black-hating, gay-baiting, no-ass-washing, squats-to-pee, heroin-abusing, rat-bastard Nazi liar.

bartcop.com  regrets the ommission.


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"If you wanted to reduce crime ... if that were your sole purpose, you could
  abort every black baby in this country, and your crime rate would go down."
       -- Bill Bennett, who, unlike David Koresh, is still smoking    Link

To the people who don't like it when I talk as a republican and use the "N" word?
Since they talk about blacks this way - on the record in front of a TV camera
- how do they sound when the cameras are off and they're with other klansmen?

How many times did Uncle OJ Watts walk into a room and hear it suddenly go silent?



 Tom Cruise kills Oprah



Subject:  9/24 in New York


In NYC on WLIB, AirAmerica led the Saturday morning news with a report
of a whole lot of "Worst President Ever" signs leading off the DC march.

Made me feel happy.

Mir, I didn't know - thanks!


Marty's Entertainment Page

always has good stuff.

The Lie of the Century


There is nothing new in a government lying to their people to start a war.
Indeed because most people prefer living in peace to bloody and horrific death in war,
any government that desires to initiate a war usually lies to their people to create the
illusion that support for the war is the only possible choice they can make.


Call the

...as heard on BCR 82

Put your comments on the next radio show.

You have two minutes to record your message.

Putin Aide: Let's Bury Lenin
 Dude, his body is at Mandalay Bay's Vodka Bar
 ...at least they have everything ...but his head


Putie's boy floated the trial balloon: Is it time to bury Bad Vladimir Lenin?

Georgy Poltavchenko, Putin's envoy to the Central Federal District, said Lenin's body
should be moved from its granite tomb on Red Square and buried in a cemetery along
with remains of other Bolshevik degenerates.

(Alex, just kidding, Dude!)

Poltavchenko said he was voicing his private opinion on the matter and did not elaborate.
Putin has said in the past he was against burying Lenin's body.

"Our country has been shaken by strife, but only few were held accountable in their lifetime,"
Poltavchenko said at a news conference, according to the Interfax news agency.
"I don't think it's fair that those who initiated that strife remain in the center of our state near the Kremlin."

If I knew the first thing about early, behind the scenes, 20th Century Soviet politics,
I'd likely have something semi-intelligent to say about this subject - but I don't, so I ain't.

Wouldn't it be nice of paid-for media whores admitted what I just said?



 Today's oil theft total

 Iraq pumps 2,000,000 barrels a day,
(and that was before the 2002 Halliburton Upgrade)
 times today's oil price which is  $66.79 a barrel
makes $132,158,000  Bush stole just yesterday

Republicans and religio-crazies
say losing thousands of soldiers in
Bush's bloody war is acceptable.

1926  1933 have died for Bush greed,

yesterday  six more in the last 24 hours
today  seven more in the last 24 hours

Impeach the lying bastard


 Subject: Howdy, y'all

thankfully I tripped up on this while looking for informative sites on the net.
You guys go to great lengths to cement the verity of conservatism.

What a bunch of misinformed cocksuckers!

I'd kick your ass but it ain't worth the shit on my toe.
Go peddle your "blame an ineffective figurehead" pablum to Canadians.
They're probably the only group of "Citizens" less informed about checks and balances than you Goobs.

Steve R
Made Up Real Estate
(bus)   330-555-5580 (res)  330-555-2083
E-Mail:  SR@cut-.com

To Look for Homes, Please Visit My Web Site:
www.cut-.com/sr (fake)

I smelled a rat.
This monkey wants a piece of Ol' Bart?
And he leave his home and work numbers?

No conservative is that brave/stupid.

As you know, I pity the fool who wants a piece of me - so I called him.
This sleepy guy answers the phone, and I said, "Dude, I'm BartCop -
Are you the Steve who's looking for a piece of me?  I'm right here..."

And he said, "What's a bartcop?"

"I'm a Clinton Democrat - did you send me a bad-ass challenge e-mail in the last hour?"

He said, "No, I don't know anything about this," and I believed him.

Guy seemed like a normal, mind-my-own-business kind of guy, so I warned him
that he had a cowardly, sackless Bush buddy who tried to "F" him.
Seriously, I was in the mood to really tear some ass...

But I ended with, "You sound OK,  but be careful, someone's out to get you"
because I was in the mood to do great harm last night, but my liberal compassion held me back.



We moved into Casa de Bart on February 10 this year.

The old Bartcop Manor was in bad shape, and we were looking at a lot of time and money
to get it into good enough shape to sell it when a Republican bottom-feeding group made us a
pitiful offer on the house - "as is" - and we I took it. When they made their pitch, they musta said
"as is, no inspections to worry about" at least ten times and I liked the way that sounded.

The page takes 25 hours a day (I do it all for you) plus I'm not a very good construction foreman.

If I was smarter, I might've waited for other offers.
If I was smarter, I might've shut the web page down a few weeks and tended to that.
If I was smarter, and had more time, I might've hired a construction foreman and
had them do the repairs and install carpet and paint the house and tried to sell it.

...so we took their meager, insulting offer and applied it toward the new loan.
It was a gamble, but sometimes you gotta gamble to win, right?

They did the necessary repairs and put in fresh carpet and paint and cut down a lot of
the big old trees near the house (which made Mrs Bart sad) but hey, it's their house, right?

Here we are, seven and a half months later and old Bartcop Manor remains unsold.

If I was smarter, I would've lost my ass on that house.
If I was smarter, I would've tried to save a couple of thousand dollars.
If I was smarter, I been paying two mortgages and a megaton of interest.

Hell, for all I know, that old house will still be on the market February 10, 2006.

Good thing I'm not smarter.
My I.Q. of 64 really helped me avoid that trap.


Click Here to Search Bartcop

 Jodie Foster outrage
  Are flight attendants that stupid and uncaring?



Flight attendants labor unions have urged their members to boycott a new
Jodie Foster film that portrays flight attendants as "rude, unhelpful and uncaring."
They said that casting cabin crew members as villains in "Panic Room at 30,000 Feet"
was irresponsible after 9-11.

I love Jodie Foster - love her - but she's making really horrible film choices these days.
She's got enough pull to make whatever kind of movie she wants, but she picks bad films.
"Panic Room" was such a dog  it peed on my leg.

They say this new film is incredibly stupid. Plus, they give away the big clue in the promos.
They tell Jodie her daughter was never on the plane, but Jodie sees the heart her kid drew
on the window - and that's in the in-theater preview!

Jodie, let me write, direct and edit your next film.
It couldn't possibly be as bad as "Panic Room" or "Flightplan."
It couldn't possibly be.


Does Garry Trudeau read  bartcop.com?


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