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Monday  Oct 24, 2005   Volume 1642 - Hole Hole Bushi 

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Power of Nightmares


In Today's Tequila Treehouse...
Incomplete Hariri Report 
Britain: Bird Flu bad news
Chavez warns Monkey 
Miers Not a Catholic 
Why Saddam can't talk
Billions are missing
Feeling Monkey's wrath 
Eldrick misses the cut 
Katie Holmes's magic


 Quote of the Day

"No one is in charge (at the White House.)"
        -- CNN's Dana Bash quoting "unnamed WH aide"


Support Bartcop.com PO Box 54466 , Tulsa, OK 74155PayPal to https://www.paypal.com/affil/pal=bartcop@bartcop.com

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"He was a great president. He was a dictator. He did bad things to his people,
 but he was able to control the whole country. Today, everything is out of control."
     -- Hassan Saad, mayor Buhriz Iraq   Link


The Dangerously Incomplete Hariri Report
    by Robert Parry as seen on  consortiumnews.com


Bush is citing a new United Nations report implicating Syria in the assassination of former Lebanese
Prime Minister Rafiq Hariri as one more reason to demand regime change in Damascus. Yet, while the
report may have profound consequences, it fails to follow up key leads, like how the bomb-carrying
vehicle made its way from a Japanese city to its destiny with history four months later in Beirut.


Britain: Bird Flu is Deadly H5N1 Strain
 Can we get serious about this now?


The British government said Sunday that a strain of bird flu that killed a parrot in quarantine
is the deadly H5N1 strain that has plagued Asia and recently spread to Europe.

In related developments Sunday:

_Sweden said four ducks found dead in Stockholm had bird flu, but not the deadly H5N1 strain.

_Montenegro began testing its poultry for bird flu after it was confirmed in neighboring Croatia.
Bosnia ordered cars to be disinfected at the Croatian border, and banned poultry imports from the country.

_The European Union said its bird flu experts will discuss a possible ban on imports of wild birds into the
25-nation bloc on Tuesday. The EU has so far resisted calls to ban all pet bird imports, fearing it could
create a black market that could increase the threat of infected birds being smuggled in.

_Jordan and Israel agreed to limited cooperation to combat the possible spread of bird flu by monitoring
people traveling across their shared border. Neither country has had any cases of the virus.

_North Korea has launched a nationwide campaign to prevent a fresh outbreak of bird flu, strengthening
quarantine and reporting systems and enhancing education of poultry farmers, a media report said. Earlier
this year, North Korea culled about 210,000 chickens and other poultry after acknowledging its first bird flu
outbreak in March. No new cases have since been reported.

This "flu" kills more than half the people it touches within a couple of weeks.
That makes it 100 times more deadly than AIDS and 100 times deadlier than Al Qaeda
and I'm not seeing my government jumping all over this like they should be.

Bush likes to wait until after the disaster strikes so Halliburton can clean things up.
But how will an oil field services company profit from a worldwide deadly flu epidemic?


Chapter Three:
Fraud uncovered at the Republican
National Committee leads to murder.

Click to Enter


"We don't pursue the Democrats as criminals. We beat them at the ballot box." 
      --Rush Limbaugh, explaining why Clinton was not impeached


Money for Nothing
 Billions are missing - who stole what?


When the final page is written on America's Bush's catastrophic imperial venture, one word will dominate 
the explanation of U.S. failure—corruption. Large-scale and pervasive corruption meant that available resources 
could not be used to stabilize and secure Iraq in the early days of the Coalition Provisional Authority (CPA), 
when it was still possible to do so. Continuing corruption meant that the reconstruction of infrastructure never got
underway, giving the Iraqi people little incentive to co-operate with the occupation. Ongoing corruption in arms 
procurement and defense spending means that Baghdad will never control a viable army while the Shi'ite and
Kurdish militias will grow stronger and produce a divided Iraq in which constitutional guarantees will be irrelevant.

This is from 'the American Conservative." 
Bush is so guilty, even his peeps want to know where the missing billions went.




There they go again...

SNL has a history of stealing jokes from bartcop.com
Jimmy Fallon was the worst - he'd read straight off the page and claim it as his stuff.

From last Thursday:

> It was a mistake for Bush to meet with Bono because it gives Bono power. I doubt he would, unless the
> situation was extereme, but Bono could say, "Bush looked me in the eye and promised X and Y for
> the poor but then he broke his word and let those people die, the rich, Republican bastard."

> But once again, Bush is a star-struck little boy.

> I wonder if Bush asked, "What's it like being married to Cher?"

Tina Fey stole that for Saturday's Weekend Update, but she just had a kid so we'll let it go.

Still, a "Hey!" to Ol' Bart wouldn't be out of line...


Chavez warns Monkey not to invade


Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez said Thursday that his government is preparing for
a possible U.S. invasion, and he warned that such aggression would send gasoline prices
in the United States soaring to $150 a barrel.  The U.S. denied it plans to invade.

Chavez, a vocal critic of BFEE "imperialism," said he was not against the American people
-- just the current government and its history of savage war crimes against helpless nations.

"It will be very difficult for the United States to attack Venezuela," Chavez said in some
kind of hallucinatory fog that prevents him from realizing that Bush loves to kill people.

The barrel price of crude oil could hit $150 following a U.S. attack, Chavez said.
Currently New York light sweet crude oil trades around $60 a barrel.

"That's why Pat Robertson, the spiritual adviser of Mr. Bush, is calling for my assassination.
That would be much cheaper than an invasion," Chavez said.


Subject: Cindy vs Hillary

Hey, Bart.
Just thinking about this thing you said about cindy alienating both sides.
It occurs to me that is exactly what Hillary does.
The left sees her as a right in left's clothing and the right can't effing stand her.

Perhaps you are mistaken?
Last poll I saw Hillary was far and away (by 30 points) our #1 candidate.
Perhaps you meant the far, far, far left - those to whom everyone to the right of Nader looks the same?

She's the only one you give a pass on supporting the war and really has no record of doing
anything but advocating for… Hillary.

Hillary is unlike every other member of the House or senate.
You can reject that fact if you want, but it's still a fact.

Your hatred of Hillary oozes out of every word you're writing.
I'm happy to report America sees her differently than you do.

I hope you're right about she'll some day actually be a democrat (ha ha) and if she's prez
we'll actually have someone doing what's best for the country, but I fail to see where in her
long record of ambition and not much else you find evidence of that.

Just differing, not yelling or trying to insult you.

Kelly, I think I can safely promise Hillary will never be as far left as you want her to be.
That's what will get her elected.



"Bartcop E is the best thing about the Bartcop site.
  Bartcop is great, but Bartcop E is something I read daily!"
         -- gmodean    Link


Marty's Entertainment Page

always has good stuff.

 Bushies feeling Monkey's wrath
   Frog march, frog march, frog march, frog march...


This is not some manager at McDonald's chewing out the help," said a source with close ties to the 
White House when told about these outbursts. "This is the President, and it's not a pleasant sight."..
"The President is just unhappy in general and casting blame all about," said one Bush insider. 
'Andy [Card, the chief of staff] gets his share. Karl gets his share. Even Cheney gets his share. 
And the press gets a big share.'"

Yeah, I'm real sure Bush is poking Cheney in the chest, telling him to get his act together.
When they lie, why can't they tell us lies we might believe?


Dallas Diocese: Miers Not a Catholic
 Why do they lie about every little thing?


Roman Catholic diocese of Dallas is setting the record straight: Supreme Court nominee Harriet Miers 
has never been a Catholic. A review of records for such sacraments as baptism, first Eucharist and 
confirmation found no evidence that Miers or anyone in her immediate family was Catholic, Bronson Havard, 
a spokesman for the diocese, said Friday. After news media reported that Miers, a longtime Dallas lawyer, 
had attended Catholic church during her childhood, diocesan officials searched their records because they 
suspected the information was incorrect. 'We don't normally check records for things like this," said Havard, 
who also is editor of Texas Catholic newspaper and a deacon, "but this was a prominent situation, 
we wanted the record to be set straight.'


Subject: Plamegate

Bob Novak is a moron and traitor, but we need to send him a huge "Thank You"
for writing the article that, we hope, is about to destroy the Bushies.

Lee the MD

A shot of Chinaco not for the Prince of Darkness,
 but for his accidental destruction of the Bush Presidency.


Click  Here


"He's the CEO president, but it's like he's the CEO of Enron and WorldCom." 
           --CNBC's Jim Cramer on President Katrina,  Link



Subject: Boondocks on TV


The Cartoon Network is also running commercials for the new Boondocks show.
But theirs are a little more blatant than Nickelodeon's.

My favorite:  He goes up to the microphone and says-
"Jesus was black, Reagan was the Devil, and the government is lying to you about 9-11."

I first saw that commercial with a bunch of friends and we all started laughing and clapping.
It premieres November 6th.


 Click  Here  (Better Link) to see the killer clip - 20 seconds, G-rated


They're putting Saddam on trial for crimes he committed before he became Rummy's good friend.
If what he did in 1982 was so terrible, why did Rummy sell Saddam poison gas afterwards?


From: Rude Rich

Subject: Until The End Of The World

Wouldn't know....never heard it.

ha ha
Maybe that explains your lack of taste in music...

I wouldn't have lunch with Bush on visiting day in the prison lunchroom.

You might - if that lunch put 180,000 Africans with AIDS on life-saving medicine.
Do you think Bono meets with the ass because he likes him?

BTW....I don't hang out in a "bar".
I hang out at The American Legion. It's a private club.
We watch the news at 6 o'clock.
We collect money for veterans.
We have patriotic shit hanging all over the place.
We stock our own jukebox.
We have raffles and a lottery machine from which the profits go to veterans.
We have picnics and give the profits to vets.
We collect hurricane relief.
We give scholarships to needy kids. And so on and so on.
We take turns making each other free drinks.
Our female bartendress could drink you under the table and still tend bar.
We share "party favors" in the bathroom (Dude - people are reading this!)

We have girls dancing on the bar at times.
If we're hungry, we go in the kitchen and make ourselves something to eat.
If we want to stay and drink until the sun comes up, we lock the door and do it.
We play cards on the bar. There is no owner to complain because we all are the owners.
We march in parades. We take up collections when our friends need it.
It is a private club, not a "bar".
We cannot even make a profit.
Anything we make goes to veteran causes.
It is our reason for being....

Rude Rich

...and all this time I thought you were rude and useless.




 Subject: donation

Bart, as an Okie from Muskogee, I decided to
send a little in support of the cause of truth.

Keep it up and a shot of Wild Turkey 101 for you.

Get your WPE sticker!    Free with your donation,

actual size

Plus two bartcop.com ovals and "I Miss Clinton" bonus sticker.
Four stickers for one donation!  (If you don't miss Clinton, I'll send the others)

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Surf anonymously
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Subject: The most Reverend Bartcop

Dear Rev. Bartcop,

I am soooo proud!
We who have known you and your search for the Cloud Being are overjoyed
that you have consummated your faith with this embracing of the cloth.

I understand that you are hearing confessions from women only, as we all take
a Taliban approach to this sort of thing, but having confessed some um, indiscretions,
to Your Grace in the past, I am hoping for some retroactive absolution.

Yours in the ChurchofReality.org



Saddam will not be able to reveal US accomplices
 The BFEE only plays rigged games


Given that the US has picked the judges and determined the terms of reference of the proceedings, 
it will fall somewhat short of fairness, at least in the sense of allowing the accused to reveal who his 
accomplices were (the CIA), who brought him to power (the CIA) and who supplied his weaponry 
(yes, you got it). The Human Rights Watch report on US army torture in Iraq has recently stated that 
"in a way it was sport". The trial is designed along the same Wayne Rooneyesque lines. Keep the world's 
attention away from Halabja (and the period 1975-90) by focusing on Dubjail. A bit like charging 
Al Capone with tax evasion. Meanwhile, justify the illegal war by telling us that Saddam was a bad man.


From:  "a"

Subject: Hillary

Hi Bartcop,

Sheehan is right to criticize Hilary Clinton.
She's even more hawkish on Iraq than Joe Lieberman.

Objection! - assumes facts not in evidence.

Smart Democrats aren't giving politicians a pass for supporting this incredibly idiotic and disastrous war.
With Republicans now the fastest growing segment of the anti-war movement, it should be obvious that
the only Democrat who can win in 2008 will be someone with a clear record against the Iraq war.

We disagree on that.
I'm not fighting "politicians," I'm fighting the BFEE.
You say, "a Democrat" could win.
Of whom are you speaking?

Hilary just isn't going to be electable because of her consistent hawkish stand.

Interesting - you fault her for appealing to the voters.
Tell me, how do you define polical success?

You're not doing the Democrat's political prospects any good by trying to shield her from much deserved criticism.

The polling says you're wrong.
Last poll I saw:
Hillary had 43%
Kerry had 16%
Others had the rest - I think The General had 6%.

Anyhow, that's my take on it.
Keep up the good work.

It seems to me - if the goal is to de-BFEE America, Hillary is Aces
and I'm (as of today) willing to put all my chips on Hillary because she will win.

Bill said, "If not for those fascist-bastard-hypocrite sons of bitches,
*I* would've been at the top of Hillary's hit list during Monica."

Hillary is a volcano with discipline.
Kenneth Starr, the sexual pervert, sent men to Hillary's bedroom,
to rifle thru her super-super-private underwear drawer, not that they expected to find anything...

Hardon Kenny just wanted to put an uppity bitch in her place because the Bible says 
a woman should submit to her man and if Hillary was "too dyke" to submit, she had to 
be punished for that. This is why religious insanity is bad in government.

Did you see The Sopranos when Paulie sniffed Adrianna's panties
during some about-to-be-made mob-ritual search of Christopher's apartment?

That's what Kenneth Starr did to Hillary because her husband was good at politics..
The law said he could sniff Hillary's panties - so that's what Kenneth Starr ordered.
Kenneth Starr, one of the most sexually-screwed-up people in the world was told 
by Jesus that it was OK for him to have Hillary Clinton's panties sniffed.

...and yet we LOST the following election.

Clinton's approval was in the seventies and Gore ran against a completely-unqualified moron
and Gore still managed to lose election. How is that even remotely possible on any level?

Trust me - most of this world comes down to who wants it more.
Gore and Kerry were band leaders.

Hillary ain't no band leader.



"You led me on with those innocent eyes..."
      -- Judas, talking to Jesus, apparently in Heaven, as told by Bono

How did Judas get to Heaven?
You'd think it'd be a sin to deliver Christ to his executioners.


Bush likely to stick with Miers
 Stubborn ass is cracking his base


Schumer: Miers Lacks Votes
 Stubborn ass is cracking his base


Harriet Miers does not have the votes now in the Senate to be confirmed and
confirmation hearings "will be make or break … in a way they haven't been for
any other nominee," said Chuck Schumer of New York.

"I think, if you were to hold the vote today, she would not get a majority, either in the
Judiciary Committee or on the floor," said Schumer.   "I think there is maybe one or two
on the Judiciary Committee who have said they'd support her as of right now," he said.

But the committee chairman, Arlen Specter, rejected the notion that Miers' nomination was shaky.
He said most of Bush's loyal toadies in the senate are waiting for the hearings before making up their mind.


Subject:  your all talk

Are you that guy who likes to gamble?
You seem to have some convicted before they have been charged.

I will give you a three for one for three.
Three for your one that there won't be any conviction of Rove, Libby or Delay.
Your all talk buddyboy.

No deal.

First, how do I know you'd pay up?
You know how you Republicans are....

Second, if Bush pardons everybody before the trial, as I predict he will,
you could win even tho I was right all along about every damn thing.


Bush is not like Hitler



Subject: Bartcop in "The Progressive" Magazine - November

Well, you've made a nice appearance in "The Progressive" Magazine - November, 
2005 issue…and quite clear and readable, I might add.

Keep on,

Dude, thanks for sending that.


U2 continues US tour
They just finished PittsburgH

Next is  Detroit, Houston and then Dallas and then some other dates.

Send in your U2 concert reports

 PittsburgH Concert review

Spectacular!  The set.  The music.  The Message.  Awesome night.


Send in your U2 concert reports


Don't worry, this will all be over soon...

Eldrick misses the cut again
 Another weekend "off" for Mr. Perfect


He needed two birdies on his last two holes to make the cut.
From a sticky lie in the rough under a tree, his first shot wasn't even close to reaching the green.
Ten minutes later, Woods headed for the parking lot and drove his black Cadillac Escalade home.

"I had to play a great shot out of the trees, which I didn't do,'' Woods said.
"I tried to hole the chip, and I didn't do that. I had to try to make a putt and I didn't do that, either.''

A bogey on the 17th, followed by a par from the fairway bunker on the last hole, put Woods at 73,
matching his worst score in this tournament.

...but, the Dallas Cowboys lost, ...and that puts me in a good mood, ....so,

"Hang in there, Tiger. You're still a good golfer.
Practice up and I'll bet you're back in the winner's circle someday!"


Call the

...as heard on Bartcop Radio

Put your comments on the next radio show.

You have two minutes to record your message.


"We were a boy band and I'm not a boy any more.
  I prefer my career to have a bit of dignity now."
     -- Robert Plant, getting more irrelevant by the minute  Link


Subject: car choices

Dear Bartcop,

Have been reading your website for months and love it...

Just thought you'd like to know...according to Consumer Reports, the Lexus is one of the better cars you can buy.
As a matter of fact, in their annual report, they list cars to avoid. I've used this as my guide for purchasing used cars
for years, and it goes for new models also.

Those that rate consistently higher in a range of categories (engine, a/c, body integrity, electrical, etc...AND resale value),
are almost always "foreign" cars. Buy the annual report at your bookstore. You'll find that the vehicles to avoid on that
criteria are always Ford, Chevy, Dodge, etc. Those considered best buys: Acura, Lexus, Honda, Toyota, etc.,
with a few specific American models thrown in.

It's a shame that certain automakers are not producing quality cars, but if I'm spending $$ on a vehicle,
I want the best buy for my money.


We all wish Detroit could produce cars equal or better than Japanese cars - but they can't.
As far as "buying American," someone e-mailed me a list of 12 American Toyota plants, someone else said
Chevys are made in Mexico and the Germans own Chrysler, so how does one "buy American," these days.

I financed cars from 1994-2002 and I say there's no contest when it comes to money.
Buy a slightly used Japanese car, you'll save money.


 Iraq pumps 2,000,000 barrels a day,
(and that was before the 2002 Halliburton Upgrade)
 times today's oil price which is  $60.63 a barrel
makes $121,260,000  Bush stole just yesterday

1992 1997 have died for Halliburton

They got 49 last month,
they got 64 so far this month and
we have a lot of month to go...


Subject: FEMA's failures

I just figured it out Bart!  FEMA turned away so much help when New Orleans was in 
such dire need because they were being pressured not to let anyone in who was not tied
to Halliburton, KBR, or another corporate member of the BFEE.

They had to wait for the "right" people to get in place to help.  You can't just let some Joe Schmoe 
off the street drive his dump truck down there to pick up debris and clear roads. 
Those prized work contracts had to be saved for the BFEE's corporate partners!

Makes sense, don't it?

Andrew R


Click Here to Search Bartcop

Copperfield's latest 'trick'


"For my next trick I'm going to get a girl pregnant without touching her,"

Hell that ain't no trick.
Tom Cruise did it and he's not even a magician.

   "How did I get pregnant?"


How many more days until Fitzmas?

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