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Tuesday   Jan 3, 2006   Volume 1682 - Mxyzptlk

Quote of the Day

"We do not know the exact quantity of oil 
  we are exporting, we do not exactly know 
  the prices we are selling it for, and we do not 
  know where the oil revenue is going to."
    -- Oil Ministry Official in Baghdad   Link

 What a joke.
 Bush sets up a puppet "Oil ministry" in Baghdad
 and nobody has any idea how much he's stealing.

In Today's Tequila Treehouse...
Denial in Haiti 
Oil Minister Chalabi 
Hillary vs Hitler
Talking about Peace
Year of Revelation
Bill Maher on 2005 
Criminal Admin 
Bono: Trouble in U2? 
Uma vs Charlize 



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"As you can probably see I was injured myself, not here 
  at the hospital but in combat with a cedar. I eventually won." 
     -- Dubya, joking about getting wounded clearing brush on his fake ranch with amputee soldiers,   Link


Denial in Haiti
  by Anthony Fenton & Dennis Bernstein  as seen on consortiumnews.com


The independence of American journalism -- how free it is from government influence and control
-- has emerged as a troubling issue in recent years. The Bush administration has admitted to paying
some commentators, such as Armstrong Williams, to promote government policies. In other cases,
pro-Republican groups have planted "journalists," such as Jeff Gannon, inside the press corps to pose
friendly questions to Republicans.

Major U.S. news organizations, including the New York Times, also have had to grapple with star
reporters, like Judith Miller, who shed professional skepticism and parroted administration propaganda
as news. A similar issue has now arisen in Haiti, where a stringer for the Times and the Associated Press
appears to have done work for the U.S.-funded National Endowment for Democracy. After the story
broke, the AP severed its relationship with the stringer and the Times is investigating.

Note: consortiumnews.com  is the most important site on the Internet.


Chalabi Named Iraq Oil Minister
 He's back in the BFEE saddle again


As a fuel crisis deepened in Iraq, the government (They mean Cheney) sacked its oil minister for Ahmed Chalabi,
whose poor performance in the Dec. 15 elections was a setback in his recent attempt at political rehabilitation.

The previous oil minister, Ibrahim Uloom, was shot in the head and buried in a shallow grave just outside Mazul.
He had previously threatened to resign over the government's recent decision to increase gasoline prices sharply,
a move that outraged Cheney and Der Monkey and sparked attacks on gas stations and fuel convoys.

I guess they figured they could steal more with Chalabi.


"Head-On" is now listed with iTunes and is
rebroadcast Tues-Fri at radiopower.org from 3-6 pm. ET.

Afghans back to opium
 We grow it there so we don't have to grow it here


For three years Gulam Gul has been growing wheat, rice, radishes and cauliflower -- anything but the opium
that his family once depended on.  The work is hard (It's hard work!) and his income too low to support his
13 dependents, and he is planning a career change -- to merchant in a bazaar.

"When I was growing opium, for one season I was earning 200,000 rupees (3,345 dollars). Now I get 60,000
rupees for one season," Gul says in his field on the outskirts of Jalalabad, where the Pakistani rupee is commonly used.

He and other farmers ripped up their opium poppies because the government ordered a halt to growing opium,
which makes up more than 85 percent of the world's total and is used to make heroin.


Return of the wiretappers
  by long-time Bush lover Andrew Sullivan


The wiretaps were restricted or at least we are told they are restricted to domestic recipients of
foreign phone calls, and so could be viewed as falling within the remit of the president's foreign policy,
rather than his domestic one. They are also unobjectionable to most Americans. A recent poll showed
64% were fine with wiretapping Americans if they might have contacts with terrorists abroad.

When the news broke before Christmas, the administration quickly explained that it avoided the court
because speed was of the essence in fighting terrorism. But the court was set up to examine such taps
retroactively if necessary and presented no impediment to quick monitoring of possible terrorist communication.
So what was going on? Why not simply ask Congress in the days after 9/11 to adjust the law?
Or use the same court previous presidents had?

The answer has to do with the Vietnam syndrome. No, I don't mean the idea that the Vietnam war
traumatised America so deeply that it deterred the use of military force for a generation. I mean the
other Vietnam syndrome: the one held by conservatives who were outraged by the way in which
Congress challenged the president in that previous war and are determined to restore presidential
power to its pre-Vietnam

Wow!  If Andrew Sullivan leaves Bush, the president's in real trouble.
Bush's never had a Top as loyal as Andrew.


Subject: USA won't elect a woman


I hate to say it but USA! ain't gonna elect a woman. 
I can still remember Geraldine Ferraro in '84. All the shit about PMS, blah, blah, blah. 

The good old boys in the red states just won't do it. 
I hope you save this and forward it back to me, Jan 20, 2009.

With regards to your two stipulations, I think our most "electable" candidate has yet to emerge 
(Think Bill Clinton circa 1990) and, no, I have never taken money from the Republican Party.

RW, if the GOP goes with Kinda Sleazy, America won't have a choice.



"We must never tolerate one law for the Ruler, and another for the Ruled." 
    -- Henry Hyde, back when the president was  Democrat    Link

 Henry, where are you?
 Isn't it time to speak up?



It was a dark & dreary Christmas, because the Dallas Cowboys won.

But it's a bright and sunny New Year because the Rams had Cowboy Soup.


Bush Ignored Info Iraq Had No WMD 


A new book describes how the CIA recruited an Iraqi-American anesthesiologist in 2002 to 
obtain information from her brother, who was a figure in Saddam Hussein's nuclear program. 

Dr. Sawsan Alhaddad of Cleveland made the dangerous trip to Iraq on the CIA's behalf. The book said her 
brother was stunned by her questions about the nuclear program because he said it had been dead for a decade.

New York Whore Times reporter James Risen uses the anecdote to illustrate how the CIA ignored information 
that Iraq no longer had WMDs.  His book, "State of War: The Secret History of the CIA and the Bush Administration" 
describes secret operations of the Bush administration's war on terrorism.

Gee - we're all so shocked.
You mean Bush took us to war just so he could steal Saddam's oil?

What's next?
The cat said "meow" and the cow said "moo?"


 Chapter Twelve

Today: Gar's Take on Women

Click to Enter


"I don't know of any legal basis to go around the FISA court. There may be some, but I'm not 
  aware of it. And here's the concern I have. We can't become an outcome-based democracy. 
  Even in a time of war, you have to follow the process, because democracy is about a process." 
     -- Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-Whore),  Link

 Lindsey, you impeached the last president who you thought broke the law.
 What's stopping you this time?


Random Thought...

Will anybody hold Bush accountable when he brings
a lot of troops home  just before the 2006 elections?

If he can bring them home right before an election,
doesn't that mean they don't need to be there now?

Note: I just realized how stupid that first sentence was - sorry.


A Criminal Administration 


Caught in gratuitous and illegal spying on American citizens, the Bush administration has defended its illegal activity 
and set the Justice (sic) Department on the trail of the person or persons who informed the New York Times of 
Bush's violation of law. Note the astounding paradox: The Bush administration is caught red-handed in blatant 
illegality and responds by trying to arrest the patriot who exposed the administration's illegal behavior.

Bush has actually declared it treasonous to reveal his illegal behavior! His propagandists, who masquerade as news 
organizations, have taken up the line: To reveal wrong-doing by the Bush administration is to give aid and comfort to the enemy.

Compared to Spygate, Watergate was a kindergarden picnic.


Subject: poster sighted

Bart, I saw this Bartcop poster on the Time Magazine web site.
This photo appeared on some feature they have called "Verbatim."





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Comedy Central caves to Catholics


Did Comedy Central grant the Catholic League its Christmas wish? 

Following the Dec. 7 season finale of South Park, titled "Bloody Mary," the Catholic League 
for Religious and Civil Rights slammed the network for its irreverent portrayal of church icons 
and sought to block the episode from being rebroadcast. 

It appears the group may have met with success. A repeat of the finale was scheduled to air 
Wednesday night, but was pulled from the Comedy Central lineup without explanation. 

Once you cave in, you cave in again and again.
What's next - Jon Stewart has to be nice to Bush?


Subject: Petaluma Paper Published

Bart, I thought you would enjoy my letter that was printed in the Press Democrat,
which is essentially the only daily paper in Sonoma County.

Unfettered by law

EDITOR: Apparently, I missed the coronation, for surely we are now ruled by
King George Bush, a monarch, unfettered by the rules of law that govern the rest of us.
When Bill Clinton was being impeached, the right thundered that it wasn't about sex at all
but about lying, and no one could be allowed to be above the law, especially not the president.

I mean, what would we tell the children?

Where are those voices now that the president has declared that he can ignore any laws that he does not like?




Clashing Quotes

"This is a limited program designed to prevent attacks. It seems logical to me that if we know 
  there's a phone number associated with al Qaeda or an al Qaeda affiliate, and they're making 
  phone calls, it makes sense to find out why." 
    -- Der Monkey, Link

"Isn't it inappropriate for the administration to be talking about this while there's 
  an ongoing investigation? Seems I heard that somewhere." 
     -- Digby,  Link


Dont Cut Off The Legs Till You're Sure 
The Reptiles Are Past Regenerating Age


It's a stretch, but say Hillary is Jesse Owens & Gdub is Hitler. 
Make it farther fetched, put JC on the sideline 100 meters out 
and Der Fuhrer in the blocks. 

On your mark?    Set.  Einkaufen!


Subject: Serious question

Do you think you will ever do a page that is fair and balanced?
If not, why not?

Carson, Monkey Master General

I don't know how I could be more fair.
I print some news, my opinion of it and as much challenge-mail as I can find.

You've probably had a dozen letters printed here, maybe more, but there's no
right-wing site where the boss will print MY e-mail and then respond to it.

The difference is I'm not afraid of the truth. Republicans can't do a web site like
 bartcop.com  because their beliefs can't stand any sunlight.  That's why Bush pays
people to agree with him - because they won't do it unless they get paid to do it.

How many guys run GOP web sites out there - a few thousand?
Why do none of them have the courage to defend their beliefs?

Der Monkey won't appear anywhere unless he gets to hand-pick the audience.
His policies are so flawed, he can only take questions from Bush-lovers.

My policies are rock-solid and can stand any assault from anybody.
It's easy when the truth is on your side.


Bush bullies hiding  bartcop.com  from you?

Surf anonymously
by entering bartcop.com at

Teacher Loses Job for Talking about Peace 


I want to share my story with you. It has been gaining more and more attention 
as the judge decides whether to grant a jury trial in federal court March 6, 2006.

My case is important not just to me but to classroom teachers and professors 
across the country. At stake here is freedom of speech in the classroom. 


Random Thought...

Seems like we hardly ever hear the words "New Orleans" anymore.

Bush doesn't care.
The networks have moved on...

Yet we still have over 6,000 people missing or dead, but a truthful
accounting of Katrina might make Bush look bad, so the media drops it.

There's what, 100,000 people still homeless?


Bill Maher on 2005


To me, the big event of '05 was George Bush demonstrating that the Era of Small Lies is over.

But not small thinking. Isn't it stupid that he always has to try to appoint a Texan to everything?
Attorney General, Supreme Court, education...is Texas where the great minds all are now and I missed it?

I would take some pride in saying "I told you so" to the people who just this year realized
what a bonehead he is, but it was so fucking obvious from the beginning that I just can't!

Maybe next election, people will start to think, who gives a damn if I want to have a beer with this guy?


2006: The Year of Revelation?


In last year's New Year's column, I wrote:

"If 2003 was the year of the liar, and 2004 the year of the war criminal,
then let 2005 be the year of justice. That is not a prediction, but only a hope."

It is a hope that, if not yet fulfilled, is at least now well within sight: the indictment of  Scooter Libby,
signals a sea change in the political atmosphere in this country, one that has put the War Party on the
defensive, albeit not yet thrown them into total retreat.  The gang that lied us into war is getting its
comeuppance, and all I can say to that is: how sweet it is!

Today, the smoking gun we're looking for is one connecting this administration to any number
of crimes committed by public officials as they dragged us down the road to war.



"This needs to be investigated, because whoever leaked this information 
  has done the U.S. and its national security a great disservice." 
    -- Mitch McConnell (R-Whore) pretending Osama had no idea Bush could listen to phone calls   Link



Subject: Dick Clark

Someone should tell these geezers who have been on TV for 100 years that *it's ok to retire*,
especially if you've had a stroke that left you looking and sounding like crap. 

You know, you've had a great life, made millions, entertained people for three generations, 
it's time to bow out with whatever grace and dignity you've got left! Don't linger, don't hold on 
with your grubby paws, trying to squeeze that last bit of adulation out of the crowd and that last 
paycheck, you're rich enough already. 

If your ego is so massive that you've just gotta have that one last hurrah, just ask yourself if it will
matter once you're six feet under.  And by all means, don't try to ram your trembling, dribbling 
tongue down the throat of the poor unsuspecting woman while the camera's rolling!!


Do stroke victims hear themselves as they really sound?
Did Dick Clark's friends and relatives tell him, "You sound great?"


"I'm rich, bee-yotch!"

 Iraq pumps 2,000,000 barrels a day,
(and that was before the 2002 Halliburton Upgrade)
 times today's oil price which is  $61.04 a barrel
makes $122,004,000 Bush stole just yesterday

2175 2180 have died for Halliburton

FIVE more  'cargo shipments'  since last issue.

Bush's gusher of blood.


Recently, some poker club wrote and asked for a copy of this picture.
I couldn't find it then, but now I have.


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"If leaking classified info is such a big deal, then when is Karl Rove being fired? 
  Seriously. When is Karl being fired? 
  Or is it only a crime to leak when it proves that Bush is committing a felony?" 
    -- John Aravosis,   Link


Silence on Eavesdropping


If Times editors hoped the brief mention of the one-year delay and the omitted sensitive information 
would assure readers that great caution had been exercised in publishing the article, I think they miscalculated. 
The mention of a one-year delay, almost in passing, cried out for a fuller explanation. And the gaps left by the 
explanation hardly matched the paper's recent bold commitments to readers to explain how news decisions are made.

At the very least, The Times should have told readers in the article why it could not address specific issues. 
At least some realization of this kicked in rather quickly after publication. When queried by reporters for other 
news media on Dec. 16, Mr. Keller offered two prepared statements that shed some additional light on the 
timing and handling of the article. 



Bono: Sidework almost killed U2


Bono said Saturday that his commitment to campaigning against poverty caused tensions within U2.
He said that at one point he feared his commitment to the anti-poverty cause might force him out of the band.

"They are hugely supportive spiritually and financially, but they are in a rock 'n 'roll band, and the first job of a
rock 'n 'roll band is not to be dull," Bono said, "So we have to be very careful about just letting me go too far."
"There was one point when I thought, 'I'm going to be thrown out of the band for this stuff.'"

Yeah, if U2 could get a front man with charisma, they could be big.


Uma voted hotter than Charlize?

          Uma Thurman                                      Charlize Theron



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