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Monday   Jan 16, 2006    Volume 1689 -  Butcher Baby 

Quote of the Day

"Powerful corporate special interests control 
  the agenda and people who don't have paid 
  lobbyists really don't have much of a voice. 
  To these power players, the challenges facing 
  America are opportunities to exploit. We're 
  all paying the price for that." 
   -- Dick Durbin, making excuses why the 
       Democrats turned to mush last weekLink

In Today's Tequila Treehouse...
Democrats' Katrina 
Bush Kills 18 Innocents 
Iran's 'Divine mission' 
Blame Rummy for war 
Porn Homework 
Poll: Impeach 
SF's Beat Museum 
Let those dopers be 
Nick and Jessica Alba



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"I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American.
  But if I were 22 with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful and patriotic."
     -- Shelley Winters, who just missed seeing the new Poseidon Adventure,    Link


Alito Hearings: Democrats' Katrina
  by Robert Parry  as seen on consortiumnews.com


Samuel Alito's confirmation hearings revealed Democratic senators who looked as befuddled by
the challenge they faced as Brownie did when Katrina flooded New Orleans. Rather than use the
hearings to explain to the American people the constitutional crisis that now confronts them,
the Democrats acted as if Bush's choice of another right-wing ideologue to the Supreme Court
was a great surprise. But the failure also reveals deeper problems of the American Left

He's right, as always.
The senate Democrats can't hardly get any worse.
Parry seems as disgusted with them as we are.
Biden was the worst - he had a great time last week.

Note: consortiumnews.com  is the most important site on the Internet.


Bush Kills 18 Innocents
 Thought he saw a woodchuck named Zawahiri

     "George, you missed."


Pakistani officials said Zawahiri was likely not killed in a US air strike,
as Islamabad protested to Washington the deaths of 18 villagers in the attack.
Information Minister Sheikh Rashid condemned Friday's missile raid in a remote tribal area.

Police also used teargas to disperse protesters after a mob chanting anti-American slogans
burned down a US-funded aid agency office near the site of the attack, witnesses said.

"Foreign Secretary Riaz Khan handed over a formal protest to the US ambassador at the
foreign ministry this evening," foreign office spokeswoman Tasnim Aslam told AFP.

Bush's bungling is going to get Pakistan's president overthrown and in his place,
they'll install al Qaeda friendlies and then we'll have a nu-ku-lar terror nation.

As always, fine job, Monkey.


'Divine mission' driving Iran's new leader
  Nutjob has "End of Days' view of the world, just like Bush


As Iran rushes towards confrontation with the world over its nuclear programme, the question uppermost
in the mind of western leaders is "What is moving its President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to such recklessness?"
Iran feels strong because of high oil prices, while America has been weakened by the insurgency in Iraq.

President Ahmadinejad - recently described by Bush as an "odd man" - has another dimension, a religious
messianism that, some suspect, is giving the Iranian leader a dangerous sense of divine mission.

Recently, Ahmadinejad telling a cleric that he had felt the hand of God entrancing world leaders as he
delivered a speech to the UN General Assembly last September.

When an aircraft crashed in Teheran last month, killing 108 people, Mr Ahmadinejad thanked the dead,
saying: "What is important is that they have shown the way to martyrdom which we must follow."

There's something abour "nuclear martyrs" that I don't like.
Damn, I wish we had a real president.

"...but we'll all be dead, anyway..."


Subject: Last issue's Monkey mail

These people are so goddamn stupid.
This ass-wipe is talking about Clinton while Bush has a male prostitute servicing the White House.

Hope you got a good laugh out of Pat Robertson apologizing to Ariel Sharon.
How do you apologize for what God allegedly told you?
Are we a nation of dumb bastards, or what?


Religion makes people crazy.


Blame Rummy for bad war plan
 by Andrew loves-Bush Sullivan


The great conundrum in understanding the conduct of the war in Iraq is a relatively simple one.
How on earth did a noble and necessary decision to remove Saddam

Andrew, that's a completely false sentence.
Saddam was conatined and no threat.
Ge's conatined and no threat today, and we're down 2200 soldiers.
They gave their lives fighting a "menace" that never existed.

...result in such a chaotic occupation? The initial campaign to seize the country was brilliant, but almost
immediately it was clear that something was awry. The looting and mayhem in the wake of the collapse
of a totalitarian state were eminently predictable. So why did the US and coalition armies simply let it happen?
Why did they allow whole swathes of Iraq to descend into near-anarchy or control by Ba'athists and jihadist
insurgents, make no attempt to seal the borders and dither for more than a year about the constitutional way forward?

Andrew, let me explain it to you.
Without the lawlessness, the killings, the kidnappings, the beheadings, they'd have to account for that oil.

Andrew, how's your math?

 Iraq pumps 2,000,000 barrels a day,
(and that was before the 2002 Halliburton Upgrade)
 times Friday's oil price which was  $64.58 a barrel
 makes $129,160,000 Bush stole just yesterday

Your hero George is losing 2.7 soldiers for every $129,160,000  he steals.

...or you one of those people who say, "Evil men won't kill for ultimate power and riches?"


Subject: Randi's 'Bounce your Boobies'

Randi has been playing "Bounce Your Boobies" every Friday for years...not sure why,
but she did say Rusty Warren is alive and well and living in Hawaii.

Is it a cry for women to assert themselves?
Nah...just a signature...


Can't speak for Randi, but it might be a reminder that we need to laugh once in a while.
With Bush ruining America and the world, we're going to need a sense of humor to survive.

Once those gutless quitters let Alito solidify Bush's insanity for decades,
there's going to change everything and it's all going to be for the worse.

No more women's rights,
no more defendant's rights,
we lost human rights years ago,
no more privacy rights - all because
Kerry decided not to fight for us in 2004.



"There are two kinds of right-wingers - barkers and hunters. Tom DeLay, Pat Buchanan,
Dick Army, Newt Gingrich, Dick Cheney, are barkers. They make a lot of noise. They lift
their leg on everything in sight, boisterously marking ever-expanding circles of social and
political territory, snarling at any who oppose their claims.   Sam Alito, on the other hand,
is a wolf - a quiet, patient hunter. No barking. No snarling. No chasing every passing car.
He chooses his fights. And when Alito marks conquered territory he will do so with indelible ink."
    -- Stephen Pizzo,    Link

If you pay very close attention, you just might hear the
exact moment when women lose their reproductive rights.

Thanks, Democrats.




"If you could have seen the anguished expressions on the faces of those of us in the
Defense Department upon seeing the photos, you would know how we feel today."
Rummy was quick to indict the real criminals - namely "people [in Iraq] ... running around
with digital cameras and taking these unbelievable photographs, and then passing them off,
against the law, to the media, to our surprise, when they had not even arrived in the Pentagon."
One must have his priorities in order, after all. Rape, torture, and mutilation are grotesque
(albeit permissible with presidential authorization) - but taking unauthorized photographs of
war crimes and publicizing them before the Pentagon has a chance to cover up those acts?
That's an atrocity!"
    -- Will Grigg,    Link


Subject: stop whining about the Democrats

Quit complaining so damned much about the spinelessness of the Dems and join the Greens.
Draft Nader and Chomsky. Imagine that ticket! Imagine the debates!


…keep on complaining about a party which won't listen to you.

Call me crazy, I'd rather lose with 49 percent than two percent.


Porn Homework


Superintendent Jeff Lampert said that although the teacher's apparent goal - to discuss the
harmful effects of pornography - was well-intentioned, he agreed with parents that the
assignment was inappropriate for 14- and 15-year-old freshmen at Brooklyn High.

The assignment asked students to research porn on the Internet and list eight facts about pornography.

I am shocked and I'm outraged.
The last thing on the mind of a 14-15 year old boy is naked women.
How dare they steer these sex-free children into a land of sin?


Subject: Impeachment?

I think the Dubya crowd was w-a-a-a-a-y ahead of any later opposition which they envisioned back in 2000....

They chose Dick Cheney as VP candidate, didn't they?  They were cagey enough to know that no matter what
he did as president, nobody in their right mind would impeach Bush when his successor was somebody like Cheney.

The only way I would support impeachment would be if Cheney was barred from becoming President in Dubya's place.
 C. Davie

CD, Cheney gets Agnewed, then we impeach Der Monkey.


 Chapter Fourteen

An elite Republican cabal, led by the Vice President, conspires
to steal the 2008 presidential election. Confronted with devastating
poll numbers from the disasterous Islamic War, it sets in motion
the ultimate October Surprise, a terrorist attack upon the nation.

Click to Enter


"I don't like Lieberman because he carries water for the GOP. He reinforces right-wing frames.
Because he rolled over during the recount in 2000 without fighting for the victory Gore had earned.
Because he is the go-to guy whenever the press needs a Democrat to bash another Democrat.
He thinks it makes him a maverick or something. In fact, it makes him a tool of the GOP."
   -- Kos,  Link


Subject: Ron and Fez

Here's what you missed today on the Ron and Fez Show.
Somehow, the fella's got ahold of an early release of the spoken version of Star Jones' new book "Shine".
Surprisingly, Star sounds alot like Geraldine from the old Flip Wilson show when she reads from her book.

ha ha

This story was interesting....it seems Star Jones Reynolds met the future Mr. Al Reynolds Jones on line at a buffet,
where Star was going back for her third helping of the jumbo Shrimp. Al started the conversation with "Don't I know you?"

Star said something like "Not unless you deliver pizza in my neighborhood."
Al helped her carry a few of her plates back to her table and then he remembered.
"I know who you are! You're Rosey Greer! You used to play for the Rams!"

Rude Rich

Rosey Greer - reminds me of RFK's murder.

Sirhan's standing there with a smoking gun in his hands, and somebody yells, "Get the gun!"
There stands Rosey Greer, 300-pound lineman for the 'Fearsome Foursome' Rams,
with the murdered-America's-future scumbag in his hands.

Don't write and say there were more bullets fires than Sirhan's gun held - I know all that.

They wrestle with him for what seems like an eternity, but it's really only a few seconds.
Apparently, (There's audio of this, no video) they had trouble pulling the gun from Sirhan's hands.
Eventually, someone screams, "Break his thumb if you have to...but get that gun..."

Gee, sounds almost like torture   (giant gasp from the crowd)

Breaking the thumb of a never-convicted suspect?
To prevent him from firing his gun into a crowd of people?

Why, ...that'd be wrong - wouldn't it?
Hurting a never-convicted suspect in an emergency is never OK, right?

Wouldn't it be better to let Sirhan get a few more shots off?


Bush makes 'government incompetence' a reality
 Molly Ivins calls Bush on his bullshit


Some of the press is starting to get the drill.
Give us something like the West Virginia coal mine disaster, and instead of standing around emoting
like Geraldo Rivera, a few reporters have enough sense to ask the obvious question:

What is this mine's safety record?
And when it turns out to be abysmal, a few more reporters have enough sense to ask:
Who's in charge of doing something after a mine gets 205 safety violations in one year?
Where's the Mine Safety and Health Administration? Who runs it?
What's their background -- are they professionals or mining industry stooges?
Who's the Michael "Heckuvajob" Brown in this outfit?
Why are so many jobs at MSHA just left completely unfilled?
How much has MSHA's budget been cut since 2001 to pay for tax cuts for the rich?

Damn, I'd like to buy Molly Ivins a shot of Chinaco.
I'll bet it wouldn't be her first shot if fine tequila.


Subject: Ted Kennedy - BFEE

Bart -

While Ms. Bush may have killed someone with her car,
the people who totally skate are the beer Busch family.

August Busch IV, who now runs the company, killed a passenger driving on mountain dirt roads near Phoenix
- and left the scene.  He was never charged with anything - in part, after the family spent money to hire civil
engineers to prove the mountain roads were unsafe and it wasn't IV's fault.  A relative killed a friend with a gun,
and never went to jail.  And there are rumors that Harry Caray's accident (a car tried to run him over) in the late
1960s was instigated by August Busch III, who thought Harry was carrying on with his wife (who he subsequently
divorced).  There was an EXCELLENT book about that whole family  "Under the Influence" written by two
St Louis Post Dispatch reporters in the early 1990s.  Thanks to the Busch family, it hasn't been reprinted.
One liner note said the Busch family "made the Kennedys look like choir boys" - how come none of this hits the press?

John in Springfield

PS - Until 1958, the St Louis Cardinals were the farthest west National League team,
so there should be many old-timers in Oklahoma who can tell you of the Busch family hi jinks ... .




 You wouldn't believe how many people wrote to say
 "Muslims don't have to go to Mecca every year."
  You wouldn't believe it.
Apparently it's a once-in-your-life kind of thing.

 bartcop.com  regrets the error.


Subject: Alito

Bart, how the hell can the "Democrats" allow this racist, woman hating,
far-right wing ideologue a place on the highest court in the land ?

This is unbelievable! What the hell do we pay these people for?
"Oh yes Mr. Alito, we love you because Bush says you are a good man " ! ! !
What the fuck ?

Aren't the Democrats supposed to  support a different set of priorities and ideals !
They seem to be only Repuglickin Lite !
I want a party that is different !
Here go the pink tutu's.

Sons of bitches !

Henry, they're scared to death. They're frozen in fear.
They've soiled themselves out of sheer terror.
You see, Mr. Rove wouldn't like it if they did their damn jobs.

"Democrats: Jump!"

 "How high, Sir?"



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Marty's Entertainment Page

always has good stuff.

Bart, working to install programs on his new computer.


"The secret to living a full life with no regrets and to staying young
  is to figure out what you believe in and fight for it."
      -- Bill Clinton, who may go down in history as the last Democrat with balls,  Link


Feinstein Warns Against Alito Filibuster

      "Hail King George!"


Dianne Feinstein, who plans to vote against Alito, sided with Lindsey Graham (R-Racist)
in cautioning against a filibuster of the Supreme Court nominee.

"I do not see a likelihood of a filibuster," said Feinstein.
"This might be a man I disagree with, but it doesn't mean he shouldn't be on the court.
I know we're throwing away women's rights and defendant's rights with this decision,
and I realize we're changing America into Bush's personal playground for the super-rich,
but fair is fair, and as a Democrat, our job is to be fair to these flaming fascists, not winning."


Subject: sharper knives?

You are the only sharp knife in the drawer - the rest of the Democrat Quislings are butter spreaders,
and IF you know tableware - they have a more rounded blade than the traditional butter knife!


Cary, thanks.
I'm smart enough to realize how stupid I am.


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Let those dopers be
 by Norm Stamper, former chief of  Seattle PD


I don't favor decriminalization. I favor legalization, and not just of pot but of all drugs,
including heroin, cocaine, meth, psychotropics, mushrooms and LSD.

Decriminalization takes the crime out of using drugs but continues to classify possession
and use as a public offense, punishable by fines.

I've never understood why adults shouldn't enjoy the same right to use verboten drugs
as they have to suck on a Marlboro or knock back a scotch and water.

Prohibition of alcohol fell flat on its face. The prohibition of other drugs rests on an equally wobbly foundation.
Not until we choose to frame responsible drug use — not an oxymoron in my dictionary — as a civil liberty will
we be able to recognize the abuse of drugs, including alcohol, for what it is: a medical, not a criminal, matter.

Seems the only way to argue against that is, "But God doesn't want us to enjoy our lives."




"Countries such as ours have an obligation to step up, working together, sanding, sending a
common message, to the Iranians, that, uhh, uhh -- that it's -- the behavior -- kind of -- trying to
-- uhh, clandessintly develop a nukyular weapon, or using the guise of a civilian nukyular weapon
program to get the know-how to develop a nukyular weapon is unacceptable."
   -- Murder Monkey, trying to get his brain to work, Jan. 13, 2006,  Link


Subject: Also a sighting (hearing)?

On my way home from work, I heard a (news?) report by one of the biggies in syndication am radio news.
They said something about a protest outside a Bush promo op where people were chanting "Worst president ever."
That was actually stated by whomever was reading this news blurb including word quote.

I had to smile because I knew where this originated and knew that they did not who was reading this.
Way to go Bartcop; keep choppin wood on this rotten shrub.

Mat, thanks for that, but I can't claim credit for that.
Der Monkey is much more responsible for that worldwide characterization than I.

If you hear someone say, "Giggling murderer, Smirky McWarHardon," ...that might be mine.


Seen on the Bartcop Forum

My problem with Bart's position isn't so much that he favors Hillary,
but rather his contention that nobody else can win and that those of us
who are against Hillary just want eight more years of BFEE and like losing.


I always mean to add: "As of now, ...as of today, ...at this point in time..."
Hillary is the obvious winner from a January 16, 2006 point of view.
If a better, stronger candidate comes along, I will probably back that candidate.

I like Bill and Hillary a whole lot, but I like a decent American future more.
Anytime I say, "It's Hillary's to lose," that's as of the date the statement was written.

It's the first quarter, Hillary's ahead 17-0.
If she's behind 41-17 after three quarters, I'll change my guess as to who will win.

Replying to your statement, the anti-s could ease up on the Vince Foster hysteria.
Come 2008, if it's the Demo nomination's fourth quarter and Hillary's ahead 60-3,
I'd sure like to see the Hillary haters take a smoke break.




"What we say (to the families) is what we say today, to you, which is, we do think it's worth it.
  If Iraq, in the middle of the Middle East, can build a stable democracy,...it'll be unbelievable, really.
  -- Pickles, who understands what it's like for the wife of BTK    Link


Subject: That is SUCH a weak defense

Hillary had NO EXCUSE to be on the wrong side of the illegal invasion
and occupation of Iraq vote and has subsequently defended her position,
only faulting bush for doing a bad job of the crime..

She COULD have been one of the 21.
She can never be MY leader.


Pandora is kidding.

Pandora means she'd rather have a Dem other than Hillary as president, but when Hillary
takes the oath, Pandora will agree it's a great day for America and our move towards sanity.

If the CIA told Pandora that Saddam was preparing to launch, I'd like to think Pandora
would vote to stop Saddam's launch, and keep the East Coast safe from a chem/bio attack..

To suggest Hillary knew Bush's claims were false is Mother's Milk to Bush's lie
that Congress had the very same intelligence that Bush had - which just isn't true.

Like Jimmy the legal intern, Pandora is a very good friend of bartcop.com
no matter much straightening out she needs on Hillary :)


Bush bullies hiding  bartcop.com  from you?

Surf anonymously
by entering bartcop.com at

Zogby Poll: Impeach the bastard


By a margin of 52% to 43%, Americans want Congress to consider impeaching the Giggling Murderer
if he wiretapped American citizens without a judge's approval, according to a new poll conducted by
notoriously pro-Bush Zogby International:

"If Bush wiretapped American citizens without the approval of a judge, do you agree or disagree
that Congress should consider holding him accountable through impeachment."
52% said, Impeach the bastard."

"The American people are not buying Bush's outrageous claim that he has the power to wiretap us
 without a warrant. Americans believe terrorism can be fought without turning our own government
 into Big Brother," said AfterDowningStreet.org co-founder Bob Fertik.

Yep, Cheney gets Agnewed, then we impeach Der Monkey.


New San Francisco Museum Celebrates Beats


Decades after the novelists and poets who became known as the Beat Generation inspired a literary
and cultural revolution, a museum celebrating the era with rare books, photos and memorabilia opened
this weekend in the city that entranced Kerouac, Allen Ginsberg and Lawrence Ferlinghetti.

"I see the Beat Generation as an enlightening movement," said founder Jerry Cimino, 51, who kept his
collection of beat artifacts at his Monterey home while working in the computer industry. "Because they
followed their dreams they changed the world."

Cimino said he believes Kerouac and Ginsberg, both of whom meticulously saved and chronicled their work,
would be excited to see a record of their contributions.

"I think they'd be pleased to know their works live on," said Cimino, who often tours the country in a
"Beatmobile" with John Cassady, son of Neal Cassady, the inspiration behind the free-spirited hero of "On the Road."


Subject: Alito

Hey Bart ~~

As useless as I know the whole lot to be - I have never felt so disappointed nor despairing of them as I feel right now.
We HAD TO HAVE hearings that were a sincere and serious effort - a yelling and fist-pounding session with men of
integrity searching for answers - as if, you know, Democracy were at stake or something.  What's going on here?
I am even ashamed of our own Dick Durbin.

I feel like some big piece of the puzzle is missing and I wonder if we'll ever know
the story behind this betrayal of the American people.  They all suck.




Once again, I'm supposed to get the new computer installed today.
After that, you won't hear from me until BCR 87 has been sent to Tommy.


"I'm rich, bee-yotch!"

 Iraq pumps 2,000,000 barrels a day,
(and that was before the 2002 Halliburton Upgrade)
 times today's oil price which is  $64.58 a barrel
makes $129,160,000 Bush stole just yesterday

2214   2217 have died for Halliburton

Bush is willing to pay that price.

Bush's gusher of blood.


How the West and the West Bank Were Won


As I write to you from the heart of the Midwest, the epicenter of one of history's most egregious and
shameful genocides, I watch with horror and moral revulsion as the US military industrial complex
underwrites and supports a similar act of social extermination in the Middle East. CNN informed me
yesterday that the mighty US military had killed eighteen civilians in Pakistan due to "bad intelligence"
in the ongoing "war on terror". As an ally in this "war on terror", Pakistani leaders were justifiably upset.

Can you imagine the repercussions if Pakistan killed eighteen American civilians on US soil in a
"strike against terrorists" based on "bad intelligence"? There would certainly be hell to pay.
Yet in this instance, the Pakistanis will be lucky to receive an apology.



"Doctors in Israel are now slowly drawing Ariel Sharon out of his coma.
  Experts say it is unlikely someone could run a country with a severe
  loss of brain activity. I beg to differ."
    -- Jay Leno


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"Why has Martha-Ann Bomgardner refused to take the name of her husband, Sam Alito?
  Hillary's last name is Clinton.  Is Martha more of an uppity feminist than Hillary?"
     -- Bart


Nick Nobody lusts for Jessica Alba


Nick Lachey reveals he desires a sexy Latina lover like Jessica Alba or Eva Mendes.


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