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  Show 90 is Up 

 Friday  March 31, 2006       Volume 1737 - Screw Up

Quote of the Day

"Bush looked into Putin's eyes and saw 
  his soul.   Putin looked into Bush's ear 
  and saw daylight on the other side." 
      -- Will Durst,    allhatnocattle.net

In Today's Tequila Treehouse...
While America Slept 
Checking the President 
Fighting Words for W 
Do Prayers Work?
Coulter in Trouble? 
Bush's Victory Dance 
Memo to BIG Oil
Army: No Private Armor
Hatcher & Seacrest? 



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"The Republican Party has to recapture a focus on being a reform party.
  We can win this fall, but I think it does require real change.
  And not just doing more of the same, but real change."
    -- Newt "family values" Gingrich, (R-Three Wives) Link


While America Slept
 "Everybody knew?" by Greg Mitchell


Richard Cohen, the longtime Washington Post columnist sometimes accused of being a "liberal," produced a
strong column today, titled "Bush Wanted War." In it he said he had long been skeptical of this idea, but now
had come to accept it. That's all well and good, but where was Cohen a little more than three years ago,
when this fact was as plain as the smirk on the president's face, and the columnist agitated for war anyway?

If there was an "I'm sorry for being so stupid" embedded in Cohen's column I didn't spot it.

He wrote: "The evidence Powell presented to the United Nations had to prove that Iraq not only hasn't
accounted for its WMDs but without a doubt still retains them. Only a fool could conclude otherwise."

Yet Cohen has the nerve to write today: "Colin Powell, you may recall, soiled his stellar reputation with a
United Nations speech that is now just plain sad to read. Almost none of it is true."

What about Cohen's reputation?

I applaud Greg Mitchell for pointing out the facts, but there are problems, here.

First, Cohen believed his president at the time and that's not always an unforgivable sin.
Cohen is now saying, "We were lied to, and I'm pissed about it."
That's more than most reporters (or Democrats) are saying these days.
But like I've been saying for a long, long time, it's EASY to look back.

I would be damn impressed with Mitchell is he linked to HIS March 2003 columns where
he guaranteed this war was a hoax - back then. If you've been reading lately, you know
we've been flooded with letters saying "Everybody knew Bush and Powell were lying,"
but that's what they say in 2006, not in 2003.

Sure, you and I felt we were being lied to, but we're talking about everyone else.
How can Mitchell dump on Cohen without offering us his 2003 links?

Before every big boxing match, USA Today gets opinions from about 30 experts.
They'll quote Smith saying, "I think Tyson will win in 8 rounds" and they'll quote
Jones saying,  "I think Holyfield will knock him out in the tenth."

This prevents Smith from saying, "Everyone knew Holyfield would win," on Monday.

So when Mitchell dumps on Cohen, shouldn't we be able to read his guarantee that
"Bush and Powell were lying and everybody knew it," back in 2003?


Checking the President
  by Russ Never Sleeps


When the President breaks the law, he must be held accountable. Yet, as we face a President who thinks
he is above the law, most Republicans are willing to cede enormous power to the executive branch.
Their actions are not just short-sighted, they are a departure from one of the Republican Party's
defining goals: limiting government power.

Republicans are losing sight of what ceding these powers to the President now will mean for their own
party down the road. Those expansive powers will rest with whoever sits in the Oval Office. Republicans
who argue today that Bush has the power to ignore the law are relinquishing authority not just to him,
but to future presidents of any party. They are helping to render future members of their own party
powerless to check an executive who claims expansive powers under the Constitution.


Expert has fighting words for Bush


Since Eric Haney was a founding member of Delta Force, you might assume he's sympathetic to Bush.
Haney has close ties to the Pentagon, so he's privy to information denied the rest of us.

We recently spoke to him.

Q: What's your assessment of the war in Iraq?

A: Utter debacle. But it had to be from the very first. The reasons were wrong. The reasons for taking us to war were
not what they stated. Tommy Franks was brow-beaten and ... pursued warfare that he knew strategically was wrong in
the long term. That's why he retired immediately afterward. His own staff could tell him what was going to happen afterward.

We have fomented civil war in Iraq. We have probably fomented internecine war in the Muslim world between the Shias
and the Sunnis, and I think Bush may well have started the third world war, all for their own personal policies.

Q: What is the cost to our country?

A: For the first thing, our credibility is utterly zero. So we destroyed whatever credibility we had. ... And I say "we,"
because the American public went along with this. They voted for a second Bush administration out of fear, so fear is
what they're going to have from now on.

Our military is completely consumed, so were there a real threat, we couldn't confront it.
Right now, that may not be a bad thing, because that keeps Bush from trying something with Iran or with Venezuela.

The harm that has been done is irreparable...

Sooner or later, everybody will agree that Bush has been an ongoing 9-11 disaster for America.
Hey Republicans - you want to be the last guys to defend this Disaster President?


Lying Liar Quotes

"One of the keys is going to be to get a unity government up and running, a government that
  reflects the diversity of the country...We want the Iraqis to make that selection, of course.
  They are the ones who got elected by the people, the ones who must form the government."
      -- Dubya, the Iraqi Kingmaker,   Link

"Khalilzad said Bush "doesn't want, doesn't support, doesn't accept" Jaafari as the next prime minister,
  according to Mr. Taki, a senior aide to Aziz al-Hakim, the head of the Shiite bloc. It was the first "clear
  and direct message" from the Americans on a specific candidate for prime minister, Mr. Taki said."
      -- Edward Wong,      Link


Subject: Army tattoos

Bart, about the Army, you wrote:

> "they'll take anybody."

It's a fuckin' TATTOO, you stupid bastard.

I know - I published the story, remember?

I'm drunk most of the time nowadays.

I find that hard to believe...

But even I can tell you're losin' it.  Fuckwad.

Would an intervention help?
It's no fun beating you up if you won't remember it.


Poland Seeks Name Change for Auschwitz
  Bush family wants a royalty to let their name be used

      Dim Son and Pickles retraced Grandad's footsteps in 2003


Poland wants to change the official name of the Auschwitz death camp on the U.N.'s
world heritage directory to emphasize that it was run by German Nazis, not Poles.

The government requested that UNESCO, the U.N.'s educational and cultural body,
change the name from "Auschwitz Concentration Camp" to "Former Nazi German
Concentration Camp Auschwitz-Birkenau"that put money in Prescott Bush's pocket.

Note: See "Inside man," in theaters now, for more


Subject: 9-11 conspiracy theories

There were 58 passengers on flight 77, the flight that is supposed to have hit the Pentagon
and the flight that some conspiracy theorists claim did NOT hit the pentagon on 9/11.

What happened to them? What happened to the plane?
I think simple questions like these need to be addressed before we start taking these theories seriously.


Good point.
Would Ted Olson allow them to kill his wife, Barbara?
Then again, ...she was a harping bitch...


Visit  timottestudios.com

FOX News: "Prayer Doesn't Work"


In the largest study of its kind, researchers found that having people pray for heart bypass
surgery patients had no effect on their recovery. In fact, patients who knew they were being
prayed for had a slightly higher rate of complications.

Researchers emphasized that their work can't address whether God exists or answers prayers made on
another's behalf. The study can only look for an effect from prayers offered as part of the research, they said.

They also said they had no explanation for the higher complication rate in patients who knew they were being
prayed for, in comparison to patients who only knew it was possible prayers were being said for them.
Critics said the question of God's reaction to prayers simply can't be explored by scientific study.


Subject: health care

Wouldn't universal health care also cure most of our failing pension plans in this country?
Some of the cost of health care must surely be measured against the cost of picking up
pensions that are going under, public and private plans included.

Tax payers get a break on many levels if we get health care.

The problem is - health insurance is socialism.
"Let's pool our resources, spread out the costs equally and we all win."

But the Republicans said that was worse than death, even tho they had that exact same
system insuring their family's health in the House and Senate, they killed it for the rest of us.

The Clintons tried to insure everybody - a practice that would prevent abuses like $90 aspirins
- so the health care corps paid the GOP to kill health care reform until a friendlier president would 
allow the health care lobbyists to write the law that makes the bastards even richer.


Visit  funnytimes.com


"U.S., Mexican and Canadian leaders like to be known as the Three Amigos.
  But when two presidents meet a new prime minister here today, they will be the Three Ducks.
  Bush is a lame duck, Vicente Fox is a dead duck and Harper is the duck that didn't die."
      -- James Travers,    Link


Subject: take the Jew down

After the recent cartoon about the prophet Mohammed; it has occurred to me that the image of a Jew
in obvious pain and suffering crucified on a wooden cross is equally offensive and politically incorrect.

What would you think of a religious group that had a black man hanging from an oak tree as its icon?
Maybe it is time to take the Jew down.

 Michael Evans


Subject: 9-11 Pentagon

Three quick points.

1.  We know something hit the Pentagon, but how about some pictures to back up the official claims?
     The Pentagon is only the most highly surveilled place in the U.S. of A.

2.  How did some flight school rejects manage to maneuver a jumbo jet into a pin-point landing
     to hit the Pentagon at such an angle as to leave the roof intact?
     Leaving the roof intact required a very low trajectory/entry point of impact.

3.  What happened to all the jet fuel?  The Towers supposedly fell because of the jet fuel,
      but the Pentagon had paper products and furniture sitting inside the path of destruction untouched.

 Scott H


Be a part of Bartcop Radio

Bush lovers welcome

Subject: Vegas dining, note to Tally

Hi Tally, I've lived in Vegas for a little over ten years now, and here are some dining tips:

Best steak in vegas is Morton's on Flamingo east of strip.
Pricey, but absolutely the best beef I've ever had.

(My fancy lawyer friend took us there - it was great!)

Best reasonable steak in vegas is at Lonestar, on Nellis north of Charleston,
east side of street. $29.95 for Tbone.  They have good beef.

Best tasting meal in Vegas is at Landry's, on Sahara, west of the 15, directly across
the street from Palace Station.  Plates run $15 to $40.  Southern steak and seafood.

Best dining experience, (bang per buck + quality of food) Kavanaugh's on north side of Ann Road
near Simmons.  Irish restaurant and lounge, excellent atmosphere, food and prices.  Machines at the
bar are kind of loose also.  Plates range from 7-25 dollars.  Portions are man-sized, and the food is
especially good.  Best meatloaf in vegas.

I'm single, and dine out frequently, both cuz I'm finished cooking for this lifetime and I date a lot
of different women.  Originally I am from New Orleans, so I rejoice in good food.  Finding it is
the difficult part.  Worst place to eat in vegas is the cafe in the Texas Station.  You've been warned. ;)
Take care and enjoy your next Vegas Visit.



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Ann Coulter in legal trouble?


This time, claiming she doesn't even live here as Ann Coulter has been doing on her speaking tour
when she's questioned about her February election meltdown on Palm Beach isn't going to cut it.

Palm Beach County's elections supervisor wants her to explain why she voted in the wrong precinct.


Memo to BIG Oil

Hey guys, I have a thunderbolt for you.
It's the end of March, the beginning of April.
That means it'll be summer in roughly 60 days.

I bring this up because every year, you sons of bitches,
you raise the price of gas for the summer because "seasonal demand"
took you by surprise and there's not enough gas to go around.

But if you crooked bastards would start producing a little extra now,
there'd be plenty of gas on June 1 and you wouldn't be able to gouge us.

Smartest thing you guys ever did was installing that hand-puppet in the White House.
As long as the Democrats are afraid of their shadows, you can keep gouging us..


Subject: Scalia

I'd just like to express my frustration with this whole thing!
Scalia was born in the USA, he's not Sicilian, he's an American!
I mean, he's a supreme court justice!

I'm married to a Sicilian (born and raised),
and you DO NOT make obscene gestures in church!!

This guy is such a 'stronzo.'



Ex-DeLay Aide to Plead Guilty?
 Frog march, frog march, frog march, frog march...


Tom Rudy, a former top aide to Tom DeLay has agreed to plead guilty to charges in the widening
federal investigation (that's tightening the noose around DeLay's squirrelly little nuts) later today.

Rudy, who served as deputy chief of staff while DeLay was House Majority leader, resigned in
2001 to become a lobbyist. He would be the first person to plead guilty to charges in the case
since Abramoff pleaded guilty to fraud charges in January.

Court papers referred to Rudy as "Staffer A," and said that Abramoff paid $50,000 in 10 payments
beginning in June 2000 to Rudy's wife to stop Internet gambling while Rudy was a top aide to DeLay.

I hope they have enough on DeLay to run a stake thru his heart because if he survives this,
he's going to be even more of an arrogant prick when he returns to congress.

"I'm too smart.
 Earl can't touch me.
 I'm coming back!"


Subject: conspiracy theories

Hey Bart,

You can't  totally blame the conspiracy theorist.

When OUR government spends $80 million on Clinton's cock, but limits the
"official" investigation of the murder of 3,000 people to only  $15 million...

...what would you think?

John in Ventura, CA


Marty's Entertainment Page

always has good stuff.

Subject: DeLay, crucifictions and 9/11 


The conspiracy theorists work with the idea that you cannot prove a negative. What they are missing,
is that the reality is far worse than a conspiracy. The Bush government's primary sin was ignoring warnings
(perhaps intentionally, I don't know, since it was obvious that any major attack on the USA was a welcome
excuse to trash the Bill of Rights and send us into a permanent war).

But OBL couldn't have picked a better moment to strike. The Bush Regime is and was intent on creating a
powerful oligarchy, like those that ruled many Latin American nations for decades, with the support of our
tax dollars, and 9-11 is what got the ball rolling. I think that was a bonus for OBL. He did not even expect it.

America doesn't need Al Qaeda to be destroyed, with Bush in power, it will destroy itself quite nicely, thank you.


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Bush's Victory Dance


Bush is pursuing a remarkably effective "win-win" strategy in Iraq, a highly flexible vision that is even now
ripening to fruition. The savage militias, ethnic cleansing, mass murder, sectarian hatred and gruesome tortures
that are turning Iraq into a howling moonscape of fear and chaos are but precision tools in the artful hands of
the Leader, as he patiently crafts the ultimate victory.

The war aims of the Babylonian Conquest have always been obvious to anyone who concentrates on the
operational reality of the action and ignores the ludicrous cornball about democracy and security that Bush
dishes out to gull the rubes back home into giving up their blood and treasure on behalf of his tiny, tyrannical elite.

The reality clearly shows that Bush had three primary objectives in launching the invasion. First and foremost
was the transfer of large portions of the national wealth of Iraq - and the United States - into the coffers of his
political cronies, corporate backers and family members. (Also here.) Second was the frantic acceleration of the
long-running, bipartisan militarization of America, which is now almost wholly dependent on war and rumors of war
to keep its heavily-mortgaged economy afloat. Third was planting a permanent military presence in Iraq to "project
dominance" over the strategic oil lands and serve as staging areas for further operations in regime change and political
extortion as needed. ("Nice little country you got there, Abdul; too bad if something, like, happened to it - you savvy?
Now howzabout signing that free trade agreement already?")


Subject: 9-11 Pentagon crash

At the WTC, the planes crashing into the buildings generated fire supposedly hot enough to melt steel
and collapse the buildings. At the Pentagon, when you look at the pictures of the walls where the plane hit,
you will hardly see any traces of fire. One of the offices without a wall, has a chair with a book on it sitting there,
completely undamaged.

And I say it again: I have no reason to dismiss any conspiracy theory no matter how bizarre, because it is
CERTAIN that the Bush administration has lied about this event, and is protecting Osama Bin Ladin.
If they didn't want us to fill the internet with bizarre theories about drone planes and missiles and
why the towers collapsed, they should have answered questions under oath.




 "This is the best damn 9-11 documentary out there."
-Dave vonKleist, Producer of "911:In Plane Site"

 Iraq pumps 2,000,000 barrels a day,
(and that was before the 2002 Halliburton Upgrade)
 times today's oil price which is  $66.63 a barrel
makes $133,260,000 Bush stole just yesterday

2325  2327 have died
...so Der Chimp could play dress up



Subject: 9-11

If anybody in the U.S. gives Bush the benefit of the doubt, they are the dumbest SOB's on earth.
In the PNAC document, (written in 1999) they said that Americans needed to be frightened by
a Pearl Harbor-type event (does that sound like 9-11?) so they'd be more receptive to PNAC's aims.

Do you honestly believe that three jets can crash into New York and Washington buildings
on the same morning before jets could be scrambled?


If the Democrats had done their job, we wouldn't have this problem.
The Democrats were OK with Lee "Whitewash" Hamilton running the show so they knew
in advance that the fix was in and they didn't love their country enough to fight for it.

Imagine a bank robber or murderer who got to pick his judge (his uncle) every time.

The BFEE fought the 9-11 investigations all the way, then finally allowed "Uncle Lee"
to run the show and re-direct all serious questions away from those who were guilty.


Army Bans Private Armor
 Do they want those soldiers to die?


Just six months after the Pentagon agreed to reimburse soldiers who bought their own protective gear,
the Army has changed their minds and has now banned the use of any body armor that is not military-issue.
In a new directive, effective immediately, the Army said it cannot guarantee the quality of commercially
bought armor, and any soldier wearing it will have to turn it in and have it replaced with authorized gear.

Oh, now I get it.
They want you to buy armor from a Bush crony, a probable-felon who got a no-bid contract that
has a specific clause written into the contract that it's OK if the equipment fails you in the field.


Subject: sad news


On the last day of his life, he and I, among other nice things, scrolled through your page
and chatted about it, a pleasure we shared for years.  He told me days before he died,
"I will not live to see my country get back on track."
(He really was frustrated by your support for Hillary, whom we feel can't win.)


The Twilight of Objectivity
  by Michael Kinsley 


CNN's Lou Dobbs -- formerly a mild-mannered news anchor noted for his palsy-walsy interviews
with corporate CEOs -- has turned into a raving populist xenophobe. Ratings are up. It's like watching
one of those "makeover" shows that turn nerds into fops or bathrooms into ballrooms. According to the
New York Whore Times, this demonstrates "that what works in cable television news is not an objective
analysis of the day's events" but "a specific point of view on a sizzling-hot topic." Nicholas Lemann made
the same point in a recent New Yorker profile of Bill O'Reilly. Cable, he wrote 'is increasingly a medium
of outsize, super-opinionated franchise personalities.' "


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TV Stuff

Tonight, Bill Maher on HBO.

Saturday Night Live is another repeat.
What - those guys work 20 weeks a year?

The sad West Wing is this weekend.

The Sopranos better get off the Tony has Alheimers crap
and move on before they tarnish their glorious reputation forever


 Call the all new, toll-free 
 GOP callers Welcome (snicker)

Teri Hatcher and ...Ryan Seacrest?


Top Ten nicknames for "the new Tom & Katie"

10 SnatchCrest

  9 Scratcher

  8 Desperate Idols

  7 Seasnatch

  6 Snatch on Ry

  5 Hatchbeard - my choice

  4 Wrinkles McHighlights

  3 Tryin Scratcher

  2 Moust-hatch

  1 Lois Lamecrest


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