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  Show 90 is Up 

 Thursday  March 30, 2006        Volume 1736 - Monkey Weeps

Quote of the Day

"I don't think there's 100 percent support 
  in my caucus for what time of the day it is." 
    -- Harry Reid, explaining how ineffective
         he is at being senate minority leader  Link

In Today's Tequila Treehouse...
W's 'Vietnam' Mistakes
Army: Tattoos Welcome 
Scalia: "FY" isn't "FY" 
Alaskan Democrats 
History Repeats?
"I'm a Democrat!" 
Redemption Rape 
Tally in Las Vegas 
Britney Spears TV 



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"I weep about the suffering of the Palestinians. I particularly weep about the fact
  that the leadership has let them down for year after year after year."
      -- Dubya, who doesn't give a rat's ass about Americans, much less Palestinians, Link


Bush's Top 10 'Vietnam' Mistakes
 by Ivan Leland  as seen on  Consortiumnews.com


...Bush has taken the abuse of language to new Orwellian depths by declaring his commitment
to these hallowed concepts even as he asserts that he is the one who decides whether American
citizens have any of the rights guaranteed in the Constitution and the Bill of Rights.

In many ways, America's "unalienable" rights have ceased to exist under Bush's theory of his
own authority. They have been trumped by Bush's claim of "plenary" -- or unlimited -- powers
as Commander in Chief during the War on Terror, a vague conflict likely to last forever.

Like some modern-day monarch, Bush says he is the one who decides if someone is imprisoned
without trial, spied on without a court warrant, tortured, even murdered -- all in the name of
defending American freedoms against enemies who "hate our freedoms."

I'll go a shot of Chinaco on that.

I love brevity-is-wit writers.
I'm a busy man, I need the condensed version.

Robert Parry not only writes that way,
he hires people who write that way.

I think that Robert Parry would ma...


...Robert Parry for Congress?

Note: Consortiumnews.com  is the most important site on the Internet


Army: Tattoos Welcome
  ha ha
 Make them stop!


The U.S. Army, which missed its recruiting goal last year, has relaxed its policy banning tattoos
in a bid to attract new soldiers who otherwise would have been barred from serving.

Bush has so destroyed our armed forces - they'll take anybody.


Scalia: "FY" Gesture isn't "FY"


Antonin "Three Fingers" Scalia yesterday denied that he made an obscene gesture Sunday
inside the Cathedral of the Holy Cross.

In a letter to the editor, an almost unheard-of step for a Supreme Court justice, Scalia said a reporter
"misinterpreted" his bafangu when the reporterasked whether his participation in Sunday's special Mass
for lawyers might cause some people to question his impartiality in matters of church and state.

"Your reporter, an up-and-coming 'gotcha' star named Laurel Sweet, asked me (o-so-sweetly) what I said
to those people. . .," Scalia wrote to Boston herald Editor Ken Chandler. "I responded, jocularly,
with a gesture that consisted of fanning the fingers of my right hand under my chin. Seeing that she
did not understand, I said,  'That's Sicilian,' and explained its meaning."

Three Fingers, you just admitted you gave bafangu to the slut (probably) reporter!
In church?

Is that how little you think of Jesus Christ and God Almighty?
Do you commit murder in your grandmother's neighborhood, too?


Subject: 9-11 conspiracy


Then there is the question of why the planes weren't intercepted!
If anyone cares to remember, there was a 17 year old German student pilot who
flew all the way to from East Germany to Red Square without being intercepted.

I remember that.

Do I think the government is so morally corrupt that they'd try something like this?
You bet I do!

I agree with that.

Do I think they intentionally set out to murder 3,000 Americans?

I wouldn't say "never," I'd say, "hopefully not..."

Keeping a conspiracy that big would from coming out would be impossible.

You don't think Rummy and Cheney can keep a secret?
I doubt they told President Einstein anything about anything.
Plus, they can legally murder anyone who speaks up.
Legally, thanks to The Patriot Act.

This government is corrupt and criminal enough without us wasting energy
on every crackpot theory that comes along.
 Lucullus, NYC

...but, we KNOW they're lying - that's why this won't die.
They fought their own hand-picked 9-11 Commission and refused to testify under oath.

Clinton was forced to testify under oath because a woman who wanted to be in show business
made a claim, but the families of the 3,000 dead can go to hell because we don't deserve the truth?

The press lets Bush get away with this...


and the Democrats let Bush get away with this..

   "Why always the gloomy Gus, Bart?   Dubya's our president!"



"While Bush was invading countries that did not threaten us, killing tens of thousands,
  torturing innocents, inspiring hatred, and portraying America as a nation of torturing
  hypocrites to the entire world, what else was happening? Oh yeah, he was AWOL on
  taking the steps needed to prevent a nuclear 9/11."
    -- Eric Alterman, on the smuggling of dirty bomb materials into the US, Link


Subject: Abortion conundrum

I'v always viewed it as an dichotomy that those that get bent out of shape about
the slaughter of baby seals and those that hug trees to prevent the killing of the forest
are not cut from the same cloth as those that protest at abortion clinics?

I wonder why that is?

The baby seals problem is 100 percent profit related.
The other problem puts the government between a woman and her doctor.
I'm for less government - how about you?

A real conundrum might be...

Why those who insist that every baby be born, no matter what,
then kill Food Stamps programs and Aid for Dependent Children or whatever.

Once that kid is born, their slogan becomes "To help them would be to enslave them."


Cheap-Labor Conservative Issues Guide

Stevens attacks disturbs AK Democrats
 They'll do anything to help their enemy - they're Democrats


Alaska Democratic Party people say they're disturbed that an anti-Republican group here
is jabbing Sen. Ted Stevens (R-Cranky Fascist) for his opposition to the proposed Pebble mine,
especially when the agitators are described as Democrats.

"People think it's us doing this. It's not us," said Kay Brown, spokeswoman for the state Democrats.

The organization going after Stevens is called the Senate Majority Project. The Democratic strategists
who run it say they are filling a niche that other Democratic groups have ignored: attacking Republicans
in the four years before they are up for re-election. Stevens is one of their targets.

It's not news when Democrats join together to protect a fascist Republican.
It would be news if the Democrats actually attacked a Republican, but noooooooooo.


Subject: If it's any help, Bart...

I agree with your stand, 100%, on the 9-11 conspiracy theories.
Too much science for me to wade through, but I don't put anything past these criminals.

If someone came to Bush with a plan like that, I'm sure he giggled, wet his pants, and said "Let's do it!"
A far cry from Kennedy who told the Operation Northwoods assholes to go to hell.

Jim H.


Visit  timottestudios.com

"I'm a Democrat!"
 More people disowning Bush and the GOP


In a (perhaps) historic shift, more Americans now consider themselves Democrats than Republicans, says Gallup.

Republicans had gained the upper hand in recent years, but 33% of Americans, in the latest poll, now call
themselves Democrats, with those favoring the GOP one point behind. But Gallup says this widens a bit more
"once the leanings of Independents are taken into account."

Independents now make up 34% of the population. When asked if they lean in a certain direction, their answers
pushed the Democrat numbers to 49% with Republicans at 42%. One year ago, the parties were dead even at 46% each.


Subject: Aggressive Neal Returns


But haven't you changed your position again?  According to you now, Congress had nothing to do with
authorizing the invasion.  They're just a powerless advisory body under our post-911 constitution anyway,
I suppose.  So it hardly matters whether or not any of them were fooled by a scary CIA briefing about
robot planes into believing that an invasion was justified.  They never acted in any culpable way.
They therefore can't share any guilt for aggressive war, regardless of whether they were fooled or not.
Only Bush, their superior, is to blame.

You're trying to trick me, aren't you?


Visit  funnytimes.com


"We support democracy, but that doesn't mean we have to support
  governments that get elected as a result of democracy."
       -- Dubya, on why military might trumps the right to vote,  Link


Subject: Immigration

This week and next week, Congress will debate what to do about immigration.

Please contact your state's two Senators and ask that the Senator support

1. legalization of undocumented workers*
2. a guest worker program with amnesty attached*
3. the DREAM Act*

Thank you.
Phil at harvestofhope.net

Subject: Michael Moore

Hey Bart,

Michael Moore is critical of Bill and Hillary—you see, Moore is a liberal, and Clinton was very moderate.
Moore would say even moderate-conservative rather than moderate-liberal.
So Moore disagreed with some policies that pulled back support from the poor.

As a champion of American workers, he also didn't like Clinton's free trade stance, if my memory serves me right.
But Moore is hardly as critical of the Clintons as he is of the Republicans.
In fact, in his book he called Bill Clinton the "best Republican president we ever had."

That being said, in the recent election I believe Moore supported Kerry and will likely
support whoever the Democratic candidate is next time.

Craig, you nailed it in your closing.


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Bush lovers welcome

Subject: Vermont and Impeachment


I thought this idea was crazy until i did a little research.
In the lead up to the impeachment of the Big Dog, Jefferson's Manual
was cited several times by the "managers", especially Mr Barr (R-Crazy as Hell).

Vermont is also one of the best places to do it (i have also heard Rhode Island).
Vermont's Representative in the House, Bernie Sanders is a really great guy and
would be happy to flush this regime.  He is currently running for Senate.

i wouldn't knock the idea for several reasons.
Even if it doesn't work it gets the word impeachment out there.

john in Chicago

Bush will pick the person who will pardon them if we don't win in 2008.


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History Repeats?

The Democrats lost congress in 1994 because they ran away from Clinton.

When the fascist bastards said, "Those Leninists are trying to Stalinize health care,"
the cowardly Democrats agreed, and the nation got scared and installed the GOP to prevent
the Clintons from ruining health care - and look at Ford and GM to see the result.
Democrats - you can always count on them to abandon their own.

Fast forward to 2006.
Republicans are the opposite - they are loyal to their party, even thru crimes, wars, invasions,
the dismantling of the Constitution, the destruction of the middle class etc etc etc.

Will the GOP lose congress by being loyal to President Disaster?
Or will Bob Shrum save the GOP by advising the Democrats to conceed before election day?

"Hi, I'm Bob "let's conceed" Shrum.
I've lost the last nine elections
I worked on but the braindead,
sacless Democrats keep hiring me."


Subject: Just a note...


The reason the bad guys die old and rich and good guys die young or old and poor,
is because we Americans never send those bad guys to jail. They fear no one.
There is some kind of code of conduct in congress, that has to do with the Democrats, I think.

They don't seem to ever want anyone to pay for their crimes, yet the Republicans will not only
try to criminalize the innocent, but many are just that, criminals. These are not new criminals to
US government and I believe that everyone in DC knows who is who and what they do.
Criminals, the ones who are criminals at heart, do not stop criminal activity, unless they are stopped.
Speaking of that, six years is hardly a sentence for what Abramoff did.
Six years.
US citizens have gotten more than that for stealing much less
and it didn't harm the government, which has an effect on Americans.

I have always felt that those who use their power and abuse it, should pay double the price of justice.
And, if that were the case, I do believe with the white-collar criminals, that would help to stop the crime.

If anything, it would make our government stronger within.
It's a crime to know what money have been stolen and the Bush GOP can just get away with
shrugging their shoulders and say to hell with it. I'm sick to death of these rich, criminal bastards.
I also don't believe that Bush, who has broken about as many laws as anyone can, and still getting
away with it, and naturally, he will keep on because he can and he is a murderer, a common lying thief,
a sleaze bag, a coward, and a bully at heart, and I can't stand the very sight of him. :)

Shirley S


Bush Wanted War
 as seen in the WaHoPo


It is my firm belief that if, say, a few dozen people simultaneously did an Internet search for the words "Bush lied," 

computers all over the country would crash and the energy grid would buckle, producing a rolling blackout that 
would begin somewhere around Terre Haute, Ind., and end in Barnstable, Mass. 

So common is the statement "Bush lied" that it seems sometimes that I am the only blue-state person who does 
not think it is true. Then, last week, the indomitable Helen Thomas changed all that with a single question. 
She asked George Bush why he wanted "to go to war" from the moment he "stepped into the White House," 
and the president said, "You know, I didn't want war."  With that, the last blue-state skeptic folded.

And now we know from various British accounts that close aides to Tony Blair recognized early on that 
Bush was going to go to war -- and that Blair, his poodle at obedient heel, would follow along..



Subject: Impeachable offenses?


You hit it right on the head.
Let's impeach Leahy, Biden, and especially Lieberman and their Republican codependent ilk.
The BFEE shit High Crimes and piss Misdemeanors before breakfast; every death in Iraq and
Afghanistan is another notch in this mass murder spree, every drop of oil is another dollar added
to the billions (trillions) stolen and every click of our debt and deficit clocks where the money goes
into the coffers of Halliburton and BFEE subsidiaries, money that our children and their children
will be forced to pay back with their blood, sweat and tears in some god forsaken country (here?)
is another act of treason.  For whoever's sake!

If these tutu wearing clowns can't pin down one HC and M they desire the impeachment gallows.
Keep the slogan: No fight, no funds. Not one dime until they start fighting.

Thanks Bart,

PS: If they need sex to impeach, shake out Jeff Gannon (Guckert)'s closet and I'm sure a blue dress will fall out!

Dude, you need more passion - just kidding.

Thanks for that,


The Pot Question

Marty's Entertainment Page

always has good stuff.

Subject: 9-11 conspiracy theories


Expect a blizzard, Bart.  Here they come.
9/11 is a conspiracy theorist's wet dream, even while he/she is sleepwalking.


Saw it on  constructiveanarchy.com/blog

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Redemption Among the Faithful


Tom DeLay didn't lose his job because he was indicted for money laundering and conspiracy,
or because of his extensive ties to Jack Abramoff.    DeLay fell because he is a Christian.

ha ha

That's what Rick Scarborough called "The War on Christians."

"I believe the most damaging thing that Tom DeLay has done in his life is take his faith seriously into
public office, which made him a target for all those who despise the cause of Christ," lied Scarborough,
introducing DeLay yesterday. When DeLay finished, Scarborough reminded DeLay:
"God always does his best work right after a crucifixion."

ha ha
Let's crucify Tom DeLay!
I want to see God's best work!


Subject: Impeach Leahy?

Bart you say impeach Leahy, but by your Hillary rationale, you need
to propose someone better who is leading the polls in Vermont first.

You will support the front runner even if they regularly gibe W cover
like Hillary does, supporting the war and huge defense budgets.

So why don't you accord Leahy the same treatment?
What has he done that Hillary hasn't?

Your logic is extremely flawed and inconsistent.
 Chris from Boca

Dude, my logic is stronger than Damascus Steel.

And if Cheney told Hillary to go fuck herself on the senate floor
I think there'd be a big hole where Cheney's nose used to be.


 Iraq pumps 2,000,000 barrels a day,
(and that was before the 2002 Halliburton Upgrade)
 times today's oil price which is  $66.45 a barrel
makes $132,900,000 Bush stole just yesterday

2325  2327 have died
...so the Monkey could play dress up




"The people have been led in Mesopotamia into a trap from which it will be hard to escape
  with dignity and honour. They have been tricked into it by a steady withholding of information.
  The Baghdad communiques are belated, insincere, incomplete. Things have been far worse
  than we have been told, our administration more bloody and inefficient than the public knows.
  It is a disgrace to our imperial record, and may soon be too inflamed for any ordinary cure.
  We are to-day not far from a disaster."
      --  T.E. Lawrence (Lawrence of Arabia) 1920   Link


Subject: 9-11 Pentagon

Bart, Alex is a twit.  I don't know where he is getting his information.  I was there (the Pentagon) right after 9-11.
The airplane didn't 'vaporize' - they were pulling big ass chunks of it out with a crane.
Not anything as big as fuselage or a tail section mind you but big pieces that were clearly parts of an airplane.
And the reason that the building was not as damaged as one might think, they had just finished reinforcing that part
of the building to withstand just such an attack.  The low loss of life at the Pentagon is attributable, in a large part,
to the fact that people hadn't yet fully moved back to those offices.

If they're going to perpetuate a conspiracy theory then they should at least get their facts straight.
 Dennis in DC



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My St Pat's Adventure in Vegas
  by Tally Briggs


There was ...a plan to do a "Pub-Crawl" style grazing dining experience, in that we'd start at
Bobby Flay's Mesa Grill at Caesars for appetizers, then move to The Palm at the Forum Shops
for Lobster Bisque, then either to Olives at Bellagio or down the strip to Smith & Wollensky's
for the main entrÈe, followed by dessert at The Eiffel Tower.  We had cancelled Michael's about
three days before we came to town when I found out they charged $149 for "steak of two" al a carte.
I figured if that price did not include oral sex with your steak then no one needed to pay that kind of
money even for a top restaurant in Vegas.  We also had breakfast reservations for Friday at Tableau
at The Wynn. (Yes, Vegas is about eating!!!)


Subject: FOX News and Fred Phelps

This is in regards to whoever wrote you saying they think people who
protest at funerals should be sent to whatever war we're having.

This is very interesting to me.  I have been noticing this confusion a great deal lately
on several different websites.  Right wing conservatives are getting the mistaken impression
that liberals are protesting the war and using soldiers' funerals as their arena.

It took a while, but I finally found out where this completely insane and utterly wrong impression
was fostered.  Fox news.  They ran a story a couple of weeks back featuring the Patriot Guard,
those motorcyclists who stand in front of protesters so the grieving family doesn't have to see them.

Throughout the whole segment (and it was fairly long), not one single mention was made as to
WHO was protesting.  They were simply called 'protesters' instead of 'the Fred Phelps ministry',
holding signs which read "God Hates You" instead of 'God Hates Fags'.

The segment, though it never stated it implicitly, led the viewer to believe the protesters were anti-war
protesters, (who else would be at a soldier's funeral?) and the word 'gay' or 'homosexual' wasn't
mentioned even once.  I wonder how those right wing conservatives would feel upon learning they've
been led to praise someone who stood against homophobia.  My guess is they probably wouldn't be too happy.

Tammy in Chatsworth


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A War in Search of Justification
 War supporters still looking for a smoking gun


On March 20, the twits at FrontPageMag.com interviewed Lt. Gen. Tom McInerney, a retired 
Air Force pilot, who stated without a doubt that Saddam shipped WMD off to Syria on the eve of 
the Iraq invasion. McInerney was referring to documents he believes prove that Saddam was hiding 
his horrible weapons. Of the 600 documents that have been released to the public thus far, none, 
I repeat none, say that Saddam shipped off his WMD to secret hiding spots.


 Call the all new, toll-free 
 GOP callers Welcome (snicker)

Britney Spears 'surprisingly funny" on Will & Grace




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