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  Show 90 is Up 

 Weekend  April 1-3, 2006   Volume 1738 - Brain Dead

Some of our best toons come from here

Quote of the Day

"Some in the party have differences with Joe Lieberman. 
  It's (He's) the elephant in the room  party.
       -- Barack Obama, at CT Dem fundraiser,   Link

In Today's Tequila Treehouse...
Halliburton's War 
Bush's Third Term
Iran Has Stealth?
Hillary's Opponent
Scalia - Lying Bastard
Clark: We Need a Plan 
Rice: Bush Brain Dead
Nashville Wheelchairs
Sharon Stone Weekend



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"I saw Cynthia McKinney's new hair-do. Have you seen it?  She looks like a ghetto slut.
  It's just -- it's hideous. It just flies away from her head in every conceivable direction.
  It looks like an explosion in a Brillo pad factory. It's just hideous.  It just shows contempt
  for the position that she holds and the body that she serves in.  She looks like Tina Turner
  peeing on an electric fence."
      -- Kneel Boortz (R-Rich, Racist Pig)  Link

  "I'm a racist, Nazi pig and I'm proud of it!"

That's what he said, but what did his listeners hear?
"Niggers are too stupid to wear their hair like normal, white people.
  Niggers are bad for America, and this is just another example of why.
  And what party coddles these worthless niggers? The Democrats!"

 Boortz is reading from the vulgar Pigboy slur book.  Remember how Rush spent WEEKS
 mocking Jocelyn Elders because she failed to pronounced Eric Clapton's name correctly?
(I'll bet Elders knows more Latin than Pigboy knows racial slurs - and that's a lot.)

 The point is - the only thing worse than a "nigger" is a "nigger with a uterus."
 That's how you make the big bucks in Nazi talk radio.


Halliburton's War


Instead of a solution to the Persian Gulf crisis, we got what can only be called "Halliburton's War,"
the three-year descent into Hell, during which time, thousands of American GIs were killed or maimed,
Iraq became engulfed in an ever-growing asymmetric warfare insurgency, and a parade of corporations,
led by Halliburton, raked in tens of billions in U.S. taxpayers' dollars. Investigations have confirmed that
Halliburton has engaged in crass war profiteering, with the latest Pentagon audit concluding that Halliburton
has systematically over-billed U.S. taxpayers since the beginning of the Iraq imbroglio.


Bush prepares for Third Term
"Terrorism demands a Continuity Presidency"


The US Department of Justice (DoJ) and the office of the White House Counsel are preparing a draft
document laying out the President's wartime authority to remain in office past 2008, The UK Register has learned.

The scheme is described as an emergency "continuity presidency," made necessary by the extraordinary
circumstances and unique challenges of protecting the United States from the threat of international terrorism.

"The world changed on 9/11," a confidential DoJ memo obtained by The Register explains, "and no
Administration is US history is better suited to adapt productively to those changes than this one.

"The Attorney General supports the basic framework in the White House Counsel's draft proposal for a
future Executive Order establishing a Continuity Presidency, with two provisos: 1. There must be at least the
appearance of a time limit, which the AG believes might be satisfied by tying the duration of the Continuity
Presidency to the duration of the GWOT [global war on terrorism]; and 2. The House and Senate Majority
Leaders and the Chairpersons of the House and Senate Judiciary Committees must issue a written certification
that they have approved the plan.

"AG does not believe that the plan will succeed unless those conditions can be met. Suggest you liase with
[the White House office of] Legislative Affairs and get their sense of the liklihood that the key Members will work with us.".

They are NOT going to give up absolute power.
It will take a patriotic Republican to stop this. The Democrats are too scared.
Democrats don't love their country enough to challenge this Illegal Monkey.


Iran Fires Stealth Missile
 Monkey pushes them into a nuclear corner


Iran's military said it successfully test-fired a missile not detectable by radar that can use multiple
warheads to hit several targets simultaneously, a development that raised concerns in sane countries.

The Fajr-3, which means "victory" in Farsi, can perhaps reach Israel and U.S. bases in the Middle East.
The announcement of the test-firing is likely to stoke regional tensions and feed suspicion about Tehran's
military intentions and nuclear ambitions.

"I think it demonstrates that Iran has a very active and aggressive military program under way," State Department
deputy spokesman Adam Ereli said in Washington. "I think Iran's military posture, military development effort,
is of concern to the international community."

Iran has stealth missles and soon they'll have the nukes.

Remember when they said the president didn't need to be the smartest man in the room?



"Wartime is not a time to weaken the commander in chief."
       -- Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-Handjob), responding to John Dean,  Link

But Handjob,
Bush has created a never-ending war, so it's never time to hold him accountable for his crimes?


Subject: Dixie Chicks new album and video


The Dixie Chicks have a new album and video out. Fans of the Dixie Chicks and/or
fans of free speech can listen to the first song to be released at Dixiechicks.com.

They can also go to this link:  (which is also available on their web site) and see their new video.

There's a link next to the video to vote your opinion of it.
After what the corporate entertainment industry and Republicans in general did to them,
I hope the progressives out there will support them.

Keep swinging the hammer, Bart.
 Bob in Iowa


Democratic Loser to Seek Publicity
  Never won a race in his life, but FOX will adopt him


Mark Greenstein, wants publicity so badly, he's claiming he wants to take a stand against "sellout liberals"
so he's laughably going to challenge Hillary in the Democratic primary for US Senate next fall.

Greenstein, a 42-year-old self-described "new Democrat," has never held elective office but ran for president in 2000.
He challenged Gore in New Hampshire's Democratic primary, winning 75 votes.

 ha ha

Greenstein acknowledged he had virtually no chance of defeating Clinton,
who is popular in the state and has more than $17 million in the bank.

It will be interesting to see who join FOX Whore News in pretending this guy has credibility.
O'Reilly will have him on each night, followed by Hannity each night, followed by Greta.
Democrats will do everything they can to hurt their front runner.
It's what we do.
Losing defines us, so we must live down to the expectations of the masses.


Scalia - Lying Bastard

     "Fuck you, America!"


Smith was working as a freelance photographer for the Boston archdiocese's weekly newspaper
at a special Mass for lawyers Sunday when a Herald reporter asked the justice how he responds
to critics who might question his impartiality as a judge given his public worship.

"The judge paused for a second, then looked directly into my lens and said,
'To my critics, I say, 'Vaffanculo,' " punctuating the comment by flicking his right hand
out from under his chin, Smith said.    The Italian phrase means "Fuck you."

Smith said Three Fingers "immediately knew he'd made a mistake,
and said, 'You're not going to print that, are you?' "

He's a republican and a goon and a friend of Dick "Go Fuck Yourself" Cheney.
What'd you expect?

...from a Republican?


Subject: that pipecover wacko

I know that being up here in one of the last Blue states,
I'm out of touch with a lot of people, but when I read this:

>>But even I can tell you're losin' it.  Fuckwad.
>> pipecover

You're losing it?  Jesus God, if you're losing it, I am too because the only thing
I have disagreed with you on lately is that Impeachment for Der Monkey is coming.

The media is BUILT on the ashes of Clinton's impeachment, and there are so many whores
on the news that if anyone even brings up a CENSURE, they get marginalized and called crazy.
For impeachment, there is a simple formula:

1)  Elect a Democratic majority in November
2)  Hold their feet to the fire until they start investigating the bad intelligence and lies that drove us to war
3)  Figure out EXACTLY what laws he broke THEN begin an impeachment, otherwise the Democrats will
     get their asses handed to them in the press because they'll be accused of a "revenge" impeachment...

Cory!!'s rule #1:  If a Republican accuses you of something, it means they are doing it.

Cory!! Strode
The Best Dressed Man In Comics

PS:  In Clinton's America, I was able to find a new job when I got laid off within two months.
        In Bush's Amerikkka, I've been looking since October and STILL haven't been hired.


Visit  funnytimes.com


"Not even the parents of Bush's top health official are immune from headaches caused by
  the new Medicare drug plan. Dixie and Anne Leavitt - parents of HHS Secretary Mike Leavitt
  - recently were forced to change Medicare plans after learning that the one they chose imperiled
  their retiree medical coverage."
        -- Kirsten Stewart,  Link


Subject: 9-11 conspiracy theories

Hey Bart!

As to conspiracy theories, if I had told you that you that some fundamentalist Muslim was going to have
his brain-washed goons hijack several planes and plow them into important buildings in the U.S., weeks
or months before, you could easily dismiss me as a conspiracy theorist.

Until an event happens, the planning of the event is, by definition, a conspiracy.
So, let's all get over the idea that any conspiracy theory is automatically some nut-job's loony ravings.



Be a part of Bartcop Radio

Bush lovers welcome

Subject: Oceans

'Oceans no longer protect us'......

The American Indians found that out - quite a long time ago...


Wishing this country had a MUCH better Prez
....and more people had more balls to stand up to all this B.S....


Clark: We Need New Terror Plan


Wesley Clark accused Bush of taking us on a "path to nowhere" with bad moves on national security.

The retired NATO commander argued in the Democrats' weekly radio address that we need a new plan
to win the war on terror after failing to find Osama, fighting an unnecessary war in Iraq and stumbling in
halting weapons proliferation in North Korea and Iran.  Clark coupled his criticism of Bush's policies with
a renewed call for the Democratic plan on national security that party leaders unveiled this week.

"This Monkey has taken us on a path to nowhere replete with hyped intelligence,
macho slogans and an incredible failure to see the obvious," Clark said in the broadcast.

We could use a man like this in the White House.
I'd donate to a Clark-Clinton or Clinton-Clark ticket.


Happy Birthday to JoJet

 There's a package headed your way with stickers and CDs!


Subject: checking the President

Repubs don't think about the consequences of granting unlimited power to the president.
They believe this majority they now hold is a lifetime appointment. They will not
relinquish their hold of power or hold the president accountable for anything.

That's scary but I agree.
They will not give Hillary unlimited power.
If/when she wins, look for the fascist bastards to cut presidential powers
between election day 2008 and January 20th 2009.

As Feingold said this afternoon:  we are now living in a monarchy.
I prefer to call it a feudalism. That is what it feels like.

With crooked elections, control of the media and the collective unconsciousness
of the public - what would make them consider limiting government?



Visit  timottestudios.com

Kinda Sleazy: Bush is 'Brain Dead'
 I laughed out loud when I read this


Greeted by antiwar protesters at almost every stop in a tour of a England, Secretary of State Sleezy Rice
said Friday that the Bush administration has probably made "thousands of tactical errors" handling Iraq.

Iin response to a question about whether the Monkey has learned from his mistakes over the past three years,
Sleezy she said officials would be "brain-dead" if they did not recognize where they had erred.

ha ha


Subject: health care

What's the matter is with you?

I was dropped on my head as a child - why?

Who told you that a universal health care system is better than what America has now?
Did you read it in Pravda?

Sorry, I don't read Russian.
What I said was health insurance is socialism, and Congress is protected by it
but they refuse to let other Americans get insurance so we have a big problem.

Look man, I live in a country with "national" health care.
And believe me, it is not good. Universal Health Care SUCKS !!!

Compared to what?
Going bankrupt for having a baby?

You said health insurance is

> "Let's pool our resources, spread out the costs equally and we all win."

Yeah, I said that because it's true.

Then why did the Soviet Union collapse? After, they all pooled all of their resources!
According to your theory, they should have been a great economic succes.

The Soviet Union had been collapsing for decades but the straw that broke Stalin's back
was the fact that they couldn't keep up with Von Reagan's insane spending spree.

NEWSFLASH : Capitalism is way better than any other system!
Including Communism (which is what you advocate daily on your site).

No Monkey, I asked for the same health care the GOP has.
Gee, did your parents drop you, too?

Actually, I don't know why I am writing to you. You totally ignorant of economics
and you flat out reject the truth when it does not conform to your beliefs.

How can I take your words seriously when you didn't use all caps
and you didn't use fifteen exclamation points after your last sentence?


Marty's Entertainment Page

always has good stuff.

Subject: 9-11


More than the other 9/11 mysteries, the plane that allegedly hit the Pentagon leaves hundreds of questions.
Why WOULD Olsen let them kill Barbara, the woman he apparently loved dearly?

BUT we saw the destruction at the Pentagon, then we saw it no more.
No mention is ever made of THOSE alleged victims, no memorials to them are ever planned.
How many were there?  What are their names?   Why is the whole incident so SECRET?


Sarah, I might've been kidding about Olson loving his wife too much to let her die.

Here's Barbara's replacement.


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Show the world that you know he's the worst ever.


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"One day after Sleazy said the United States made possibly "thousands" of tactical mistakes
  in Bush's war, she says she was speaking "figuratively, not literally."
          -- CNN, this morning,   Link

"One day after Bush vowed to reduce America's dependence on Middle East oil by cutting imports,
  his energy secretary and national economic adviser said that Bush didn't mean it literally."
         -- Kevin G. Hall,   Link


Subject: While America slept

Bart, Russ Never Sleeps (no relation) wrote,

"Republicans are losing sight of what ceding these powers to the President now will mean for their
own party down the road. Those expansive powers will rest with whoever sits in the Oval Office."

Would that it were true!
Don't forget that a Democrat president had his executive privilege virtually revoked, and his Secret Service
agents/bodyguards were compelled to testify under oath -- on a civil matter -- while the Republican presidents
invariably increase executive privilege (even to the extent of sharing it with the Veep, now), and keep even
loosely-associated aides from testifying under oath, even on criminal matters.

Bart, let Mr. Sleeps know that the only way his statement would be true would be if the Democrats
suddenly became an opposition party that wanted to win elections...maybe in 30 years.


Do you think we'll ever have a Democrat president again?

Bush prepares for Third Term
"Terrorism demands a Continuity Presidency"



 Iraq pumps 2,000,000 barrels a day,
(and that was before the 2002 Halliburton Upgrade)
 times today's oil price which is  $66.63 a barrel
makes $133,260,000 Bush stole just yesterday

2327  2336 have died

We lost nine since Friday.


Subject: pain in the ass


I heard on NPR that "STUFF" magazine had a poll for its readers
about who they would LEAST like to go camping with.
Saddam was second.
Tom Cruise was first.

Neil in VT

At least Saddam can act a little...


Jill Carroll Rejects Anti-US Statements
 'They had three guns to my head when I said that'


Protected by the U.S. military and far from the country where she had been held hostage, Jill Carroll strongly
disavowed statements she had made during captivity in Iraq, saying Saturday she had been repeatedly threatened.

In a video recorded by her captors, Carroll spoke out against the U.S. military presence. But in a statement Saturday,
she said the recording was made under threat. Her editor has said three men were pointing guns at her at the time.

"During my last night in captivity, my captors forced me to participate in a propaganda video. They told me I would
be released if I cooperated. I was living in a threatening environment, under their control, and wanted to go home alive.
So I agreed," she said in a statement read by her editor in Boston.

"Things that I was forced to say while captive are now being taken by some as an accurate reflection of my personal views.
They are not."

Anybody have a problem with her wanting to stay alive?
Not me.

Sure, I think she was crazy to put herself in a position to be captured in the first place,
but once the insane handjobs grab you - it's your job to stay alive.


Best Lesbian Quotes

"When I told my grandma about Ellen (Degeneres), she was completely surprised.
  I then turned to my mother and said, 'I thought you told her?' And Granny said:
  'I knew you were living with Ellen and all this time I was thinking, 'I hope that
  lesbian isn't hitting on my granddaughter!'
      -- Portia DeRossi on her relationship with Ellen     Link

ADAPT wheelchair protest shuts down Nashville
  by my good friend Nick Dupree


I am passionate about than fighting for my disabled brethren and our right to exist in this worsening culture of greed.

Last summer, Tennessee began culling 323,000 people from its Medicaid program. People were denied the
medications they need to survive (even cancer patients) and the home care they need to survive.
Some have died or been ripped out of their homes and shipped to institutions in adjacent states.

Disability rights activists have taken to the streets of Nashville to protest man's inhumanity to man and
will again on Monday. In response, the legislators are pushing a bill through to crack down on protesters.
Please help me stop them.


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TV Stuff

Tony Soprano finally became Tony again, but he's different.
Now he wants to "live each day and make it count."
I hope they don't screw up what was once the best show on TV.

On West Wing, Leo finally went down (off camera) and Josh finally nailed Donna - twice.
The show spent their entire last year on a campaign as their way of saying goodbye?
Why do we care who wins if the show ends there?


 Call the all new, toll-free 
 GOP callers Welcome (snicker)

Scientists step up chimp communication

"I don't get it..."


Widely used and easily understood hand gestures are part of the human condition.
But such elevated expressions of culture are not unique to humans, biologists say.

In a report in the latest Current Biology, researchers detail the first-sighted widespread use
of an "iconic" hand gesture in wild chimps, our closest genetic cousins.  Chimps and people
apparently share the ability to communicate that they've got an itch that needs to be scratched.

"The gesture involved one chimpanzee making a relatively loud and exaggerated scratching movement
on a part of his body, which could be seen by his grooming partner," a researchers write.


Sharon Stone's Box Office - not


As expected, Sharon Stone bombed with "Basic Instinct 2."
The erotic thriller earned just $3.2 million.


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I know you work hard for your money, so I take it as
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