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  Show 91 is Up 

 Tuesday  April 11, 2006     Volume 1743 - Baby Sequoia

Quote of the Day

"Although Bush has the legal power to 
  declassify documents, the revelation made 
  his own assault on leaks look like hypocrisy." 
    -- Caroline Daniel, "Libby damages Bush"

In Today's Tequila Treehouse...
A Gore-Zinni Ticket? 
Bush's Plans for Iran 
Bush: No Nukes Today 
Spy Plane Shot Down 
Bush pants like dog 
Random Thought
Special Favors 
Monkey Mail 
Eva Longoria in Space



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Visit  funnytimes.com


"What I'm writing here is that if this [plan to use nukes] isn't removed, some senior officers
  are prepared to resign. They're that upset about the fact that this plan is kept in. …
  One thing about our military, they're very loyal to the president, but they're getting to the edge.
  They're getting to the edge with not only Rumsfeld, but with Cheney and the President."
      -- Seymour Hersh,    Link

 Randi Rhodes said yesterday that the military is short 2400 majors and colonels,
 which she called "the backbone of the military."   They'll be 3500 short next year.

 They are fleeing Bush's suicide Army.


A Gore-Zinni Unity Ticket?
  by Robert Parry  as seen on consortiumnews.com


Few of the early favorites in the Republican and Democratic presidential sweepstakes showed the foresight
and the courage to stand up to Bush's rush to war in Iraq. In this guest essay, political analyst Brent Budowsky
suggests why the American voters might want to consider a possible unity ticket of two leaders who dared to go
against the grain, Al Gore and retired Marine Gen. Anthony Zinni.

Note: Consortiumnews.com  is the most important site on the Internet



Bush's Plans for Iran
  by Seymour M. Hersh


Bush has increased clandestine activities inside Iran and intensified planning for a possible major air attack.
Military officials said that Air Force planning groups are drawing up lists of targets, and undercover troops
have been ordered into Iran to collect targeting data and to establish contact with anti-government groups.
They say Bush is determined to deny the Iranian regime the opportunity to enrich uranium.

There is a growing conviction among members of the United States military, and in the international community,
that Bush's ultimate goal in the nuclear confrontation with Iran is regime change. Iran's President Ahmadinejad has
said that Israel must be "wiped off the map." Bush and his Neocons view him as another Hitler.

"That's the name they're using. They say, 'Will Iran get a strategic weapon and threaten another world war?' "

Will America fall for this latest, "military force as a last option" handjob again?
Why does Bush only see threats in countries with oil?


Bush Denies Nuke Iran Plans


Administration officials say they remain committed to a diplomatic solution to keep Iran nuke-free,
but they won't rule out military action as an option, even as they try to tamp down talk about military planning.
"Military action is always the last recort," the Boy who cried WMDs lied.

The president said his plans to invade Iran and steal their oil is "just wild speculation."

Officials involved in war-planning discussions say the United States has drafted a menu of options.
One official said the attention on Iran has increased markedly in recent months.

Just like lied about Iraq - remember, "The decision is up to Saddam"
when they'd already scheduled the war in the first place?

The little Monkey wants what he wants - and he wants war.



"Even if Bush turns out to have been a bit player in an effort to discredit Wilson,
  he is now explicitly tied to the decision to selectively disseminate classified information.
  Whether that constitutes a 'leak' is a matter of semantics."
     --Linda Feldmann,  Link


Subject: she refuses to leave

Bart, you wrote:

> "Katherine Cathey refused to leave her husband's casket,
>  asking to sleep next to his body for the last time."

That was so sad Bart…I can hardly stand it…..I need to go hit something….
 Jim in Topeka

It's damn sad, no mistake about it.

As I've predicted here, after the war is over, after we lose another 5,000 soldiers,
then the military families will stand up and tell us how bad their suffering is.

Why don't they stand up now and save those 5,000 lives?

They need to put that pain on every nightly newscast and show what they're going thru now.
Maybe then people will decide America needs a President who's not a blood-thirsty moron.


Iran Shoots Down Unmanned US Spy Plane
  Has the war started, like FOX News says it has?


Iran has shot down an unmanned surveillance plane in the south amid reports that Bush is planning
military strikes on Iranian nuclear facilities, a press report said today. US publications reported over
the weekend that Bush was eager to invade another country with oil.

It's almost enough to send one to Church - almost.
Are you ready for Bush's third invasion?


Subject: 9-11

I was home on sick leave, and I remember turning on the Today Show and hearing about 9/11
and immediately thinking Bush did this ..................  They are the personification of evil in this world.

And planning to use nuclear weapons in Iran????? 
Someone needs to stop those mother-effers before they cause Armageddon!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Keep on swingin' .....


Get your dot.com on Bartcop Radio

Call and say, "This is Bob at   screwdermonkey.com
and I'd like to invite you to check out my page where
we give the Bush boy hell about his hardon for war."

It's free advertising and dozens will hear your ad!

If you don't take advantage of  free advertising
you don't want more readers.

Bush lovers welcome

 GOP callers Welcome

Subject: Bill Maher on BCR 91

Hey Dude,

I was listening to the Bill Maher bit in the first segment of Show 91 - he made a good point about
if it had been Bill Clinton sitting around for 7 minutes if he had been the one on the job on 9/11.
Maher was on fire on that subject.

Maher is great when he's on our side, but he has to keep his Republican guests happy, too.
Haven't seen Coulter on his show in a while, she's about due, in my estimation.


T, you're right - Maher is mostly on-target.
But recently he said maybe Bush could succeed in the Middle east since he knew nothing about it,
(like Ol' Bart :) and therefore would bring no pre-conceived staleness to the table.
Maher was 100 percent wrong that time.

Subject: BCR 90

I finally got to hear an entire show.
The reason I seldom get to hear an entire show is Waaaaay to long a story--

What some people do is burn the show to a CD and listen in the car on long trips.

Anyway---I loved the show. Very  professional.
Lots of variety w/ music, comedy,guests and serious commentary.
Will make some extra effort to entire shows in the future.
May involve some limited violence with family member.
Oh well---

ha ha
Thanks for the feedback


The net's best advertising deal

 advertise on  bartcop.com

Subject: BCR 91 feedback

Bart, sound quality is excellent!  Double Tommy's salary.
The Super Size Me bit was spot-on!  I always thought that eating nothing
but fast food, let alone super sizing it, was kind of an obvious bad idea.

No complaints about the show so far; eagerly anticipating the second half!


Bush pants like a dog
 I'm so ashamed of this Murder Monkey



Random Thought

It started as, "If there's a leaker in my admisnistration, I want him identified
  and we'll then take the appropriate action," ...and it turned into,
"I can leak anything I want because I'm the President."

So what will, "If I had known about Osama striking on 9-11,
 I would've taken steps to prevent it," ...turn into?


Subject: Gangster President

Hey Bart, Greg palast wrote:

"OK, let's accept the White House alibi that releasing Plame's identity
  was no crime. But if that's true, they've committed a bigger crime…"

Maybe Palast is the lone voice in MSM asking the question I've been asking.

If declassifying the info wasn't a crime, why the hell have we spent three years
and untold dinero on an investigation of a supposed crime?

It was a crime until Bush back-dated the de-classification orders.

The son of a bitch just retroactively rewrites the laws for whatever crimes are uncovered
and we apparently have no choice but to accept this lawless bastard's crimes.



Marty's Entertainment Page

always has good stuff.


"In a speech Bush accidentally referred to the immigration bill as the energy bill. 
  Afterwards, he apologized and reminded everyone to support our troops in Norway." 
      -- Conan 


Subject: I have to keep laughing at you

Bart: I just have to keep laughing at how far you go with your hilarious positions.

Thanks, Dude.
They say comedy is the hardest thing to master.
I'm fortunate to almost make a living from it..

What these weird positions you take do is discredit many of your correct positions.

ha ha
Dude, I'll give you $10 if you can diagram that mess of a sentence on a blackboard.

Cynthia McKinney is the most recent.

Shoot - take your best shot.

First of all, no one can prove that the guard's actions were "racist".

If I implied the guard was racist, I take that back.
I'd guess (I wasn't there) that the cop just made a mistake.

Those who are screaming "Tina Turner peeing on an electric fence" are the racist bastards.
They fabricated a super-ugly graphic and attached it to every black women who got a new 'do
who didn't clear it with the party of racist bastards in advance.

They should be ashamed of themselves, but they get paid 
by the slur and they are whores - so what can we do?.

He did not recognize her, asked to her stop, and when she didn't he tried to stop her.
That is a police officer's job, like it or not.

I agree with that.
When David Koresh failed to follow the orders of the FBI and police, did you root for the cops who
Koresh then murdered?  Or did you scream, "innocent armed tax resister" with the rest of the GOP?
I have a feeling your outrage and your ethics flip-flop like a kite in the wind.

Second, in case you weren't watching, McKinney apologized yesterday for her part in the incident.
She apparently ignored the police officer's legitimate request for identification and then possibly
(I know, we are waiting for the proof) hit or assaulted the officer.

1. You had the civility to say we're waiting for proof - that means you're not entirely Monkey.
    Hang on, maybe we can save you!
2. As far as "hit or assault" the officer - did you see my Zha Zha analogy?
    If she slapped a white man's hand that was "on her," could you blame her?

If Cynthia McKinney is 42, she was born without civil rights.
You and I have no f-ing idea what that's like, except for the rights we've lost under Bush.
The year Cynthia was born, it was semi-legal to lynch "those people" in the South.

Reread that last sentence.

You and I have no f-ing idea what that's like.
I realize it's not "all" about race, but who do we trust to tell us when it is?

Tom Armstrong Williams?
Jesse Jackson?
Tom Clarence Thomas?
Al Sharpton?
Uncle Tom O.J. Watts?

Look, I'm one of the few who never said I knew what happened.
I'm raging at the racist bastards and their "peeing" graphics and the Democrats who
refuse to stand up when one of their own is being lynched by the other team.

If the Democrats were steamrolling you guys, I would understand if you
implored your team to stop crying and start acting like men and fight back.

But, go ahead Bart, even though McKinney has now apologized, this is now a "cause celebre" on your site.
Are you just trying to make-up for going after Tiger and Shaq?

Bob in San Diego

Now that McKinney has been dissed, I'd just as soon drop it and get back to Bush's crimes.
...and if I went after Shaq, it wasn't enough to make me remember.  But I remember Eldrick.

I was driving in the rich part of Tulsa today - drove past the golf course where they played the 2003 (?)
Masters or US Open (I don't care) in Tulsa.  Mr Perfect was still on his streak, and the assbite on the radio said,
"Tiger Woods is soooooo gonna win this weekend, should we even bother to play it?"

That's the weekend Eldrick got the Bartcop Hex put on his ass and sent him into his spiral.




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Subject: McKinney

I love the cartoon of the Dems hiding under the flag wetting themselves. 

And it's great to acknowledge that Pelosi is Minority  leader with the high heels.

The worst thing about the WTC accusation against McKinney is that she  didn't say there 
was a cabal - only that it should be investigated  completely; which of course it hasn't.

Thanks for hammering!

Justice, then Peace 


Special Favors for Special Interests
  by Molly Ivins


We need to keep up with the daily drip, that endless succession of special favors for special interests
performed by Congress, or we'll never figure out how we got so far behind the eight ball. While the top
Bushies lunge about test-driving new wars (great idea—the one we're having is a bummer, so let's start another!),
Congress just keeps right on cranking out those corporate goodies."


 Iraq pumps 2,000,000 barrels a day,
(and that was before the 2002 Halliburton Upgrade)
 times today's oil price which is  $68.74 a barrel
makes $135,780,000 Bush stole just yesterday

...add to that, Iran pumps 3M barrels a day.
Once Bush invades, that's 5M barrels a day
times today's oil price which is  $68.74 a barrel
makes $343,700,000 dollars Bush will steal daily

That's a third of a billion dollars every day - and what did it cost us?

2351  2354 soldiers' lives

Oh well, as long as the oil men get richer,
we should just lie back and take it - right?


Subject: Hellstorm if true

Bart, you wrote...

> Imagine, the President saying, "Yes, we caused 9-11 to happen and here's why...,"

If Bush did 9-11...There will a frickin HELLSTORM ON BUSH'S HEAD!!!

I will gladly join the other 50-100 million very pissed off Americans that will march on 
Washington D.C. to seek a TERMINATION of Bush's abilities to function.
Oh yeah, please invisible cloud being make it so!!!
That would be The Shit.

Regards Of Best,

I agree, but what would that change?
They're stealing hundreds of billions of dollars.
They don't care if their approval rating is zero.

If the crowds get unruly, Bush will put tanks in the streets.
Do we think the Army will fire on US citizens?

I say yes, they will.


Blowing Cheney's Cover


When you invest so much effort into tangling the web - in this case, corrupting intelligence analysis in the 
2002 National Intelligence Estimate on Iraq - it becomes hard to know when to stop. Dick Cheney went to 
inordinate lengths, including 10 visits to CIA headquarters, to ensure that that crucial NIE on WMDs was 
alarmist enough to scare Congress into authorizing war. And when the evidence turned out to be flimsy, 
Cheney had a back-up plan: The CIA made me do it.


Tom Cruise - Big Liar

 "I do all my own stunts in the Mission Impossible movies."

This is the best shot I could find of this, but in this scene, Can't Act is hanging by his fingertips,
maybe even by one hand for a few seconds - and he's claiming he does his own stunts?

And before you say, "Bart, use your f-ing head, that's CGI," I realize that.
But what "stunts" is Cruise claiming he's doing with his CGI machine in his lap?

Subject: Katie and the TomKitten

Bart, you wrote:

> Someone else pointed out:
> Tom's marriage to Mimi Rogers - no kids.
> Tom's marriage to Nicole Kidman - they adopted kids.
> Tom's years with Penelope Cruz - no kids.
> He's with Katie ten days and boom - she's preggers.

I have a theory: Katie is still a "virgin", and was artificially inseminated.
That's the reason this birth is SOOOOOO important to the Scientology™ community.

Will that make Tom the father of the Scientology™ messiah?
  T who lives with T who lives in LA

I have a guess - she's no virgin, but she is with Joe Oscar (heavy sarcasm).



"Tom DeLay said he will not run for re-election. DeLay says he will spend his 
  free time doing what he loves most: slapping ice cream cones out of children's hands" 
        -- Tina Fey



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TV Stuff

On 24, it turns out the President is the lying, murdering traitor to America.
Not only that, but he's claiming he ordered the terrorist attacks "to protect America."
Looks like somebody has been reading you-know-what.

Tonight, two Peabody Award winning shows, House and Boston Legal.
If you've never seen House, this will be a great episode to jump right in.
And Boston Legal has the great William Shatner as the insane Republican gun nut.
Shatner sounds like the vulgar Pigboy, but with better writers.

Plus, is Veronica Mars the smartest show on TV?
I'd have to vote "yes."


Subject: Halliburton

I did a little bit of research and the price of Halliburton stock is currently $77.27 per share. 
This puts Cheney's total stock value at $30,908,000 today. 

On January 19, 2001 the price of Halliburton stock was $37.13  per share. 
Making Cheney's total stock value then at $14,852,000. 

That's $16,056,000 Cheney has personally profitted from Halliburton stock since they took office. 
This does not even take into account dividends paid since 2001. 
But please don't expect an elected Democrat to ever mention anything like this. 
Doing so might show that they have a backbone, and we don't want to make Mr. Rove unhappy now do we?

Keep Swingin'
Paul in Louisville


 Call the all new, toll-free 
 GOP callers Welcome (snicker)


Eva Longoria Seen from Space


A massive picture of Eva Longoria, so big it can be seen from space, is outside Las Vegas.
Maxim magazine created the image to celebrate its 100th issue.


Thank you to bartcop.com  subscribers.
I know you work hard for your money, so I take it as
a compliment when you throw some my way each month.

 Read the  Previous Issue

 It had  everything.

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