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  Show 91 is Up 

 Thurs-Friday  April 13-14, 2006  Volume 1745 - President Judas

Quote of the Day

"It's like having Goober from Mayberry 
  as president of the United States." 
     -- timregler,   Link

In Today's Tequila Treehouse...
America's Matrix 
Cheney Hires Terrorists 
Bush Knew He was Lying 
Generals: Fire Rummy 
Iran Nukey in 16 Days? 
Stern wins FA Award 
Big $$ Strike May 1
BCR now on iTunes
Alicia Keys Movies 




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"I voted for Bush, and I don't have anything to disapprove of.
  I think the results of what is happening [in Iraq] is disappointing,
  but it doesn't have to do with the President.
  I just think he underestimated where we were going."
    - former liberal Dennis Hopper, who went dark several years ago   Link

 How blind can a crazy bastard be?
 Dennis Hoppers says there's nothing to forgive?

 Hey Dennis, what about the 2350 dead soldiers?
 What about the 20,000 soldiers missing arms. legs., eyes and memories?

 ...nothing to disapprove of?


America's Matrix, Revisted
  by Robert Parry   as seen on consortiumnews.com


Almost three years ago, Bush cited discovery of two Iraqi train cars as proof that he was right
about a secret biological weapons program. At the time, we challenged the Bush administration's
analysis of the evidence, calling it part of a phony reality similar to the fake world in the Matrix movies.
Now, the Washington Post says Pentagon experts had debunked that claim -- two days before.

Note: Consortiumnews.com  is the most important site on the Internet


Cheney Hires Terrorists Again


The Pentagon is bypassing official US intelligence channels and turning to a dangerous
and unruly cast of characters to create strife in Iran in preparation for any possible attack.

One group hired by Cheney is a right-wing terrorist organization known as Mujahedeen-e Khalq (MEK),
which is being "run" in Iran.   One anonymous official said this was Cheney's doing and was stronglt
opposed by Condoleezza Rice.  "We are already at war," a UN official told rawstory.com.

Poppy made a deal with Hezzbollah and the Ayatollah to get elected to the presidency in 1980.
He smuggled weapons to the terrorists via Adnon Khashoggi and the Carlyle Group felons.

Then Cheney and Poppy created Osama with CIA money - that worked out great for them.

They can't steal billions in peacetime, and the "evil Soviet Empire" is history,
so they created a boogeyman named Osama and all those people had to die.

Now they're at it again.
This gang of thugs wants to invade so bad they can f-ing taste it.



Bush Knew He was Lying
 Der Monkey's WMD Cricker-Crocker


Bush insisted publicly that two trailers captured in Iraq were evidence of a banned weapons program,
months after Pentagon experts had reportedly ruled otherwise.

In May 2003, Bush proclaimed that the trailers, captured just weeks after the start of US-led invasion,
were long-sought mobile "biological laboratories," the Washington Post reported.
"We have found the weapons of mass destruction," the president lied thru his teeth.

The claim was repeated by top administration officials for months, even though US intelligence officials
had received the findings of a Pentagon report that said the allegation was not true, the WaHoPo reported.

  "Unka Dick, if I go to prison, will I turn homo?"




"...we should still have a preference for peace over war. I always thought of Senator Fulbright
  and the terrible quagmire in Vietnam and how many times we sent more soldiers and found
  ourselves in a hole and kept digging because we didn't want to look like we were weak.
  So anytime somebody said in my presidency, 'If you don't do this people will think you're weak,'
  I always asked the same question for eight years: "Can we kill 'em tomorrow? If we can kill 'em
  tomorrow, then we're not weak, and we might be wise enough to try to find an alternative way."
      -- Big Dog, on his decisions when to launch a military strikeLink


Subject: Somehow, you know acting


At  times, I'm amazed that an Okie with an IQ of 64 can discern good (or even "not very good at all") acting
from the absolute non-acting that Tom Cruise sells to audiences. Then I remember it's Bart I'm reading.

Cruise is not just a "bad" actor.
He is the absolute antithesis of acting, he is the black hole of performing a character other than oneself.
George W. Bush is more convincing in his role as "President" than Cruise has ever been, in any film
(and yes, I've seen "Magnolia." He was looking in a mirror the entire time he delivered his lines).

For the record, I am an actor, a graduate of the American Academy of Dramatic Arts.

...ain't nothin' to it.


Subject: Interviewing Cindy Sheehan

Hi, Bart,

We have the event confirmed, I just don't know which day yet
but either April 23rd or 24th I will have Cindy Sheehan live and
in Studio with me at www.uhhradio.com.

I will definitely keep you posted when we get the the exact time confirmed.
This is a really big event for our little college station.

I will also post the full interview on my website.


Anyone have a question for Houston to ask Cindy?
Send it to him, not me :)


Bartcop radio now on iTunes


MaxyourMacs has edited a 7-minute clip of BartCast for iTunes.
You just click on it and it plays (once you've downloaded the iTunes software)
Just type in BartCast  (case sensitive) in the search field and it will take you to the BartCast page. 


Subject: when I'm president

when im president im goin to eliminate all people who are against me and their whole existants.

 Max the Republican

Max, Prescott Bush had the same idea
That's how the Bush Family Evil Empire got on the map.

Maybe you could finish the work Prescott and Adolph started.


Get your dot.com on Bartcop Radio

If you don't take advantage of  free advertising
you don't want more readers.

Bush lovers welcome
to get spanked, not advertise


Stern wins First Amendment award
 From 'Talkers Magazine' - Does that Count?


"His dissent brought attention to a concept that far too many people in our business still do not understand:
 There is absolutely no difference between political speech and artistic speech.

"If the government can regulate art, it can regulate political expression as well."


Visit  funnytimes.com

Subject: what hit the Pentagon?

If a 757 didn't hit the Pentagon, where did it go,
and what happened to the folks aboard?


I'm not sure, but why would Bush would hesitate to sacrifice those lives
if he had no qualms about sacrificing the lives in the WTC and the Pentagon?

...not to mention the 2500 soldiers he lied into their graves.


by my good friend Bill Katovsky


Click  to  Order

Iran Nukey in 16 Days?


Iran may be capable of making a nuclear bomb within 16 days if it goes ahead with plans to
install thousands of centrifuges at its Natanz plant, a U.S. State Department official said.
"Natanz was constructed to house 50,000 centrifuges,'' Stephen Rademaker,  Ass. Sec. of State
for International Security and Nonproliferation, told reporters today in Moscow.
'They could produce enough highly enriched uranium for a nuclear weapon in 16 days.'"

So, we'll invade our third country before the end of the mnth - perfect.


The net's best advertising deal

 advertise on  bartcop.com

Subject: Military deaths


I recently read in Nation Magazine that as of 1\1\05,  7500 Americans died in rout to or at hospitals in Germany.
You should research this and add this shocking stat to your web sight.

Also I find it frightening that people don't care about the shocking number of Iraqi civilian deaths.
You seem to hardly ever mention them, they are people too, they have families and children and
lives very similar to Americans. I think it is worth mentioning.

Andrew L.
Pueblo CO

Andrew, thanks for bringing that up.


saw it on  mybillofrights.org


"Obsessed with going to war against Iraq that had no nuclear weapon,
  Bush lost focus on Iran hurtling toward a nuclear weapon. If brains were elastic,
  these guys wouldn't have enough to make suspenders for a parakeet.
    -- Maureen, one of the whores at the NYWTimes

Hey Mo, you were 100% anti-Democrat and 100% pro-Bush during the 2000 campaign.
What if you'd been pulling for the voters, instead of the multi-national corporations?


Retired Generals: Fire Rummy


The retired commander of key forces in Iraq called yesterday for Rumsfeld to step down,
joining several other former top military commanders who have harshly criticized his
authoritarian style for making the military's job more difficult.

"I think we need a fresh start" at the top of the Pentagon, said retired Gen. John Batiste.
"We need leadership up there that respects the military as they expect the military to respect them.
And that leadership needs to understand teamwork."

Batiste noted that many of his peers feel the same way. "It speaks volumes that guys like me
are speaking out from retirement about the leadership climate in the Department of Defense."


Stoli's in Abramoff Scandal


The "distilled beverage company" referred to in Tony Rudy's guilty plea is SPI Spirits, which produces Stoli vodka.

SPI paid $25,000 into Jack Abramoff's sham charity as a kind of off-the-books fee, and also paid $20,000
to a "public policy group" - which Raw Story identifies as the National Center for Public Policy Research.
The NCPPR kicked back $8,000 of that fee to Rudy - as a kind of thank you, you might say.

The NCPPR served as a front to cover various Abramoff junkets, but also as another forum for Abramoff to buy
good press for his clients - the director Amy Ridenour was another of Abramoff's editorial-writing hacks.
In this case, she went to bat for Stoli vodka (you can see her work on Stoli's website).


Subject: 24 - why we watch


OK, 24 is not the greatest show on television, but it has the greatest premise of any show on television.

It is frequently over the top and  this season's plotting follows no known logic after hour 12.
Frequently Chloe and the sexual harassment girl are the only things the keep me watching (they are fantastic comic creations).

I agree.
When that guy accidentally touch her arm of the sex-har girl,
we laughed out loud at Chloe's, "Oh, what did I just do" reaction.

But, some of the plots and storylines have a way of making real jabs at the current administration.
Seasons 2 & 5 have high ranking political and corporate officials trying to foment a foreign war
just to up the price of oil (only to watch it blow back on us and force Jack Bauer into some
morally tight spots to literally prevent us all from going up in flames, and expose the corruption).

It shows the mendacity and criminality of high ranking govt officials and how that prevents
talented agents in the field from doing their jobs keeping the US safe.  Clearly, the entertainment
division didn't get the memo from the news division, but that's part of the fun.

Adam in Hollywood


Marty's Entertainment Page

always has good stuff.


"I know some of you may want to just hold your noses,
  but please vote for him anyway!"
   -- Renee Amoore, PA GOP co-chair, on Rick SantorumLink



Subject: Your Tom Cruise obsession

Bartcop:  I find it extremely funny that you are obsessively jealous of Tom Cruise.

I must object on the grounds of "facts" not introduced as evidence.
Name a comedian who hasn't done recent jokes about that crazy person.

He is an alright actor.

ha ha
Is that why he wins the Razzy every year?

You hate him cause he's cute.

Yeak, Dave and Jay and Bill and David and Craig and Jimmy and Conan do jokes about
that perhaps-bearded nutcase because Ol' Bart in Tulsa took a personal dislike to his good looks.

Doesn't anybody re-read their e-mails before they hit "Send" anymore?

Typical male role is to call any cute man "gay".

From what Tally tells me, Viggo Morton-whatever is cute, and I don't hate him,
so maybe your long-distance, sexual analysis software has a few holes in it?

What if he's just a really, really bad actor?



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"I knew exactly what was going to happen when I committed these troops into harm's way.
  I knew people would lose their life. I knew exactly what was coming."
     -- President Monkey in a Man Suit Link

"He knows exactly what happens to young men in war.
  That's why he dodged 'Nam."
    -- SlimTim,   Link


BCR Show 91 Sampler

Probably the most popular segment of BCR is in Section 4 each show.
That's when we play the funny snippets by Jon, Dave, Bill and David.
It also gives the listeners a break from my rat-like voice.

Here is a 6-minute segment of TV cuts (all PG rated)



 Note: If you can't hear the radio show or snippets, go to  windowsupdate.microsoft.com
           and get the Updates for Windows Media Player Ten.  That should solve the problem.


 Iraq pumps 2,000,000 barrels a day,
(and that was before the 2002 Halliburton Upgrade)
 times today's oil price which is  $70.82 a barrel
makes $141,640,000 Bush stole just yesterday

...add to that, Iran pumps 3M barrels a day.

Once the sick bastard invades, that's 5M barrels a day
times today's oil price which is  $70.82 a barrel
makes $354,100,000 dollars Bush will steal daily

That's a third of a billion dollars every day
No wonder they were so eager to start a war

...and what did it cost us?

2364  2368 soldiers' lives

We lost four since yesterday.

On what date will Bush's oil snatch hit $100 a barrel?


Subject: BCR Show 91

Holy cow, bart...
You REALLY hit your stride with this one..I'm about half thru segment 1.

You're angry, but controlled, and your focus could shave meat thinner than a new york deli.
rock on!



The Wrong Jon Stewart


An embarrassed charter school has discovered it booked the wrong Jon Stewart for its annual gala.
The DaVinci Academy thought it had made a deal with "Daily Show" Jon, to appear next week.

It sent out 500 invitations to businesses and planned for 900 people.
But last week, it learned that it had booked Jon A. Stewart, a former motivational speaker,
businessman and part-time professional wrestler from Chicago.


Big $$ Strike Set for May 1

I heard Lou Dobbs talking about this on CNN.
I've seen it mentioned a hundred times, but it never went anywhere - till now?

The point is - don't spend any money on May 1.
Don't buy food, don't buy gas, don't go to a movie.
Prepare in advance, then keep your wallet closed that day.

This has never worked before, but I've never seen it discussed on TV before,
and the Speaker of the CA House (?) is helping to lead the charge.

That day, we skip gassing up or eating out.
Meanwhile, the super-rich GOP buys cars and house on May 1,
making it the biggest non-Christmas retail sales day in history.


Subject: Tiger


I go to the Masters every year with my friend Billy Casper (1970 Masters winner).
I was 10 feet from Phil Mickelson when he hit his flop shot to the 18th green this past Sunday.

Last year, Tiger hit a good shot on 16 to give the ball any chance to go in the hole.
He is right, that it actually went in was mostly luck.

ha ha
I've heard that somewhere before.

Bart, you don't know crap about golf.
Tiger really is as good as the press he gets.

Tiger should win every tournamernt by a dozen strokes - if he's as good as his press.
And don't say, "Golf's not like that."
If "Golf's not like that," then Eldrick isn't as good as his press.

BTW, Tiger invited Bill Clinton to join him at the dedication of Tiger's educational facility for kids.
You know he could have gotten W if that was who he supported.  I haven't talked politics with
Tiger but he just might be on our side.

Bill in Dallas

I had a really snarky answer for that, but you might be Bill H in Dallas and he did me a favor
so I wouldn't want to show him any disrespect with a flippant comeback.

So, I'll close by saying Eldrick is a better golfer than Cruise is an actor.



"When has this bastard EVER comforted grieving mothers and fathers?
  This spineless nutsack hasn't EVER shown up at a funeral."
    -- visualdata,    Link


Bart's Law #13

Jimmy Carter was right - Life is not Fair.
Phillip Seymour Hoffman is 100 times the actor Tom Cruise is, but Cruise has
already made 100 times more money than Phillip Seymour Hoffman ever will.

The Beatles never won a Grammy,
Scorsese never won an Best Director Oscar
and Clinton was paid $200K to give us peace and prosperity while Bush
got paid $400K to Judas us into a never-ending spiral of terrorism, war and recession.

If Life was fair, JFK and RFK and MLK would've made speeches at DemoCon 2004.
but no, ..they were f-ing murdered by the Republicans, and we belong to the "plays fair" Democrats.

I'm soooo sick of it...


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Subject: torture stuff


I've been following your argument with readers re: torture, and just finished reading a great book
on the subject that may cause you to change your mind. This guy points out a lot of falacies and
misunderstandings about torture, and makes a great point concerning the false argument about the
hypothetical Times Square bomber who needs to be tortured in order to save thousands of lives.

I understand your finances aren't as healthy as you'd like,
so I'll buy it for you and have it shipped to your P.O. box if you're interested:


    Click  to Own

Dude, thanks for the offer, but I can't imagine that it would change anything.
Torture is a bad, bad thing. We all agree on that.


 Call the all new, toll-free 
 GOP callers Welcome (snicker)

TV Stuff

On tonight's Survivor, the just-quit-smoking a-hole (Shane or Slone?) has a problem with his penis.
The only camera-eligible person that can help him is the black lady nurse, Cirie (?).

This sounds like it has the potential to be a cultural, racial, social and legalistic nightmare,
but we can tell from the previews, once she gets a look at it, she can't stop laughing.

It's "It's twue, it's twue..." in reverse.


Alicia Keys - making movies


Alicia Keys has been cast in the big-screen adaptation of the best-selling book, "The Nanny Diaries."

The film features Scarlett Johansson as a nanny for a wealthy Manhattan family.  Paul Giamatti,
Laura Linney and Chris Evans also star. Keys will play the nanny's best friend, Bush said.
The character is a far cry from the assassin she plays in the upcoming action flick "Smokin' Aces."


Thank you to bartcop.com  subscribers.
I know you work hard for your money, so I take it as
a compliment when you throw some my way each month.

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