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  Show 91 is Up 

 Weekend-Monday     April 15-17, 2006   Volume 1746 - Red Vinyard

Quote of the Day

"On matters of war, Bush is not to be trusted. 
  He has proven over and over that when he wants 
  to go to war, the truth will not stand in his way." 
      -- Scott Shields, on Iran nuking up in 13 days,  Link

In Today's Tequila Treehouse...
Bush Is a Liar
Military coup in US? 
America's Secret Police 
Ivins: Bush Whopper 
South Park Bites 
The Fallujah Option 
Barry Bonds Perjury? 
Handjob vs Israel 
Mandy Moore Dreamz



Support Bartcop.com PO Box 54466, Tulsa, OK 74155PayPal to bartcop@bartcop.com


"Change the culture of corruption in Washington.
The names say it all: Halliburton, Delay, Abramoff.
No bids, no oversight, no audits."

If I could vote in Michigan,
I'd vote for my good friend Fred Strack.


"The CIA was pushing the aluminum tube argument heavily and Cheney went with that
  instead of what our guys wrote. That was a big mistake. It should never have been in the speech.
  I didn't need Wilson to tell me that there wasn't a Niger connection. He didn't tell us anything
  we didn't already know. I never believed it."
     -- Colin Powell, discovering honesty now that 2375 soldiers are dead, Link


George W. Bush Is a Liar
  by Robert Parry   as seen on consortiumnews.com


The White House is back to its argument that George W. Bush was just a victim of bad intelligence
when he rushed the nation to war with Iraq in 2003. But the evidence is now overwhelming that
Bush is a liar who apparently believes he can get away with saying whatever he wants to the
American people without fear of accountability

Notice what Parry did not say.
He didn't say, "Bush has a passing acquaintance with the truth."
He didn't say, "Bush has some trouble distinguishing truth from non-truth."
He didn't say, "Bush often forgets to mention all sides of the story."

No, he said, "Bush is a liar."

Mealy-mouthed, pink tutu senate Democrats can't put those four words together.
They're afraid that Karl Rove might become angry, so they pour sugar on the facts.

Note: Consortiumnews.com  is the most important site on the Internet



Military coup in the United States?


The seeds of the outrage are all there. The war-ravaged economy is in the dumps, American casualties in Iraq
are mounting with Iraq itself now in the throes of a civil war, corruption in high places is rampant and political
scandals are exploding on almost daily basis in Washington. In addition to all this, Bush wants yet another war.

"If this opens up so we have more officers blaming Rumsfeld, then it is possibly heading towards a fairly
dangerous civilian-military crisis," opined Andrew Bacevich, a military historian at Boston University.

If only John Kerry had wanted to be president.
If only the Democrats would listen to me instead of Bob Shrum.


America's Secret Police?
 Bush says we must agree with him


Pentagon officials began discussions about merging the two after the commission issued its recommendations.
An initial round of meetings about the merger, however, failed to come up with a plan. In the meantime, CIFA,
a mysterious and secretive unit created in 2002 and charged with making Defense counterintelligence efforts
more effective, became the subject of two public controversies.

The first erupted late in 2005 when documents surfaced indicating that CIFA (whose mission, according to
its own officials, is supposed to be limited to analysis of counterintelligence data produced by other agencies)
was discovered to have put together a database that included reports on anti-administration
demonstrators, including peace activists protesting alleged "war profiteering."

So now it's illegal to ask where the stolen billions went?
It's illegal to ask why 5300 Americans (so far) have died for Bush's lies?

When Kos and Atrios go down, we're headed for Iceland.


Subject: your quote of the day

Bart, you wrote, or more accurately, quoted):

> "It's like having Goober from Mayberry
>  as president of the United States."

That's not fair.
Goober had technical skills and ran a successful business.

Keep 'r' swingin' Bart



"The Leaker-in-Chief can barely speak without notes (often, even with them), unless in some sort of
bullying snit or that other smug "we can do and take anything we want; we're the superpower and
we're in charge; I've got political capital" awfulness. Whenever the home team is on a losing streak,
the manager starts to get incoming from the fans and the complicit we-love-this-war media. Of course,
as a lizard goes down, a lot of damage can be done by the thrashing tail before it's forever silenced."
   -- Michael Donnelly  Link

Repeat:  The only way out of this is for some high-ranking Republicans to sit the Monkey down and say,
"George, you had a good run but it's time for you to go back to your fake ranch and disappear."



Subject: congress


Waaaay back when as I was learnin' bout Congress  and their cohorts we were taught that they
couldn't even be stopped for speeding as that could be an excuse to tamper with government in action.

Now, wasn't McKinney en route to a legit session?
And doesn't that absolve her from any of these alledged 'crimes'?
End of story.

As far as non puppy press is concerned.

Dude, you might have a point.
The theory goes that it's illegal to stop, even for an arrest, a member of congress because if it wasn't,
the DC police could just round up everyone who was against a bill Bush wanted and it would pass.

Maybe the Democrats are too polite to remind the cops they are arrest-proof.


Subject: Nuclear war with Iran?

I think that Congress should pass a law that says if the
President can't properly pronounce the word "nuclear,"
he shouldn't be allowed to start a nuclear war with Iran.

Maybe that will keep the moron from wiping out civilization.

Marc Perkel
San Francisco, CA.


I'm so old, I remember when America was great.

Bartcop radio now on iTunes


RSS feed link - feed://slapcast.com/rss/BartCop/index.xml

Webpage - http://slapcast.com/users/BartCop

MaxyourMacs has edited a 7-minute clip of BartCast for iTunes.
You just click on it and it plays (once you've downloaded the iTunes software)
Just type in BartCast  (case sensitive) in the search field and it will take you to the BartCast page.


Subject: torture is a bad thing?

Bart, you wrote,

> Torture is a bad, bad thing. We all agree on that.

For the last two years you've argued that torture is a good way
to save your little girl or a whole city of millions.   You've ADVOCATED IT !

That's crazy talk.
Torture is a bad, bad thing and everybody knows it.
Torture should not be condoned in 99.99 percent of all cases.

Now, suddenly, it's "bad"..."we all agree"...

Come now Bart, please go through all that mumbo jumbo again,
and tell us just how it will save millions of little girls from certain death!

F@cKing Best Regards,

Rob, you love to ride on this merry-go-round.
Too bad your daughter's not alive to enjoy it :)


Get your dot.com on Bartcop Radio

Radio Housekeeping
So far, one person has called the BartPhone
to publicize his/her website. That's crazy.

When we were young pups on the internets,
we would've killed for free publicity.
Don't you know that BCR is heard by dozens?

If you don't take advantage of  free advertising
you're saying you don't want more readers.

Bush lovers welcome to call
to get spanked, not advertise


Bush Whopper Becomes Instant Classic
 by Molly Ivins


Bush leaked bad information from a classified intelligence report because there wasn't enough time
for the contradictory DIA report to go through a declassification process. All of which would make
more sense if we hadn't just gone through this Valerie Plame episode, in which the White House says
if the president leaked it, then it's legal to leak it.   No problem, the president can declassify at will, they said.

I don't know about you, but none of it is becoming clearer for me.
Does anyone understand yet why we had to bomb Iran?

I'm confused - we already bombed Iran?


Visit  funnytimes.com

Iranian Handjob: Israel Will Be Annihilated


The Handjob of Iran again lashed out at Israel on Friday and said it was "heading toward annihilation,"
just days after Tehran said it successfully enriched uranium for the first time.

President Mahmoud Ahandjob called Israel a "permanent threat" that will "soon" be liberated.
He also appeared to again question whether the Holocaust really happened.

"Like it or not, the Zionist regime is heading toward annihilation," Ahandjob said.
"The Zionist regime is a rotten, dried tree that will be eliminated by one storm."

This guy makes Bush seem sane.

Remember in Godfather II, when Fredo's wife is drunk and messing up the party?
Rocco tells Fredo, "Michael says if you don't take care of this, I have to."

That's what Israel is telling our blood-thirsty Murder Monkey right now.


Subject: Bart's Law #13

Dear Bart:

Sometimes you write some really crazed shit that makes me wonder
exactly how much tequila you consume while producing your webpage.

First of all, RFK was not "murdered by the other side."

He got his brains splattered by an Iranian restaurant worker named Sirhan
who was upset because RFK had praised the evil Shaw of Iran during a
TV interview the night before the California primary in 1968.

I know because when I heard RFK's remarks during that TV show,
I predicted that some Iranian whose relative had been tortured was going
to shoot the little runt pimp bastard.  Which is what happened.

They should give Sirhan a medal and let him walk.

Don't believe me?
Check out The Dark Side of Camelot by Seymour M. Hersh

 Jim Karageanes

Jim, you are a test case for free speech.

My point was we have no idea who killed RFK.
Our government lied to us about what really happened.



Random Thought...

Just now on Air America, I heard some someone say,
"Bush won the war, but he failed to win the peace."

That's the kind of horseshit (however true) that will lose 2008 for us.
If we want to win, we'll say something like, "When Bush had Osama cornered in Bora Bora,
he let him go so he could invade Iraq and steal that oil ...and everybody knows that's true."

When did it become "out of bounds" to tell the truth about your opponent in a political campaign?
They outright lie about our guys, "Kerry the wartime coward," and so on,
while our wimpy campaign managers refuse to tell the f-ing truth about the bad guys.

The DNC needs to put me in second-in-command in 2008.

They'll still have their man (sorry girls) at the top guy to thumbs-down my great ideas,
but we wouldn't lose because nobody on our team could think of a snappy-ass comeback..

After the 2004 elections, we lost a LOT of readers/subscribers.
When I get a cut-off notice, I write and ask if they'd care to say why...
Eighty to ninety percent replied, "I need a break, I just can't take losing again and again."

If we lose 2008, we could go past the point of no return.


Oil man's half a billion dollar bye-bye


Exxon Mobil's price gouging allowed Lee Raymond to retire in style as chairman.

Mr Raymond received a compensation package worth about $140 million last year.
He is also still entitled to long-term compensation worth at least another $258 million,

Exxon's board also agreed to pick up Mr Raymond's country club fees...


The net's best advertising deal

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 Flashback Quotes

"'High Crimes and Misdemeanors' is what they wrote in the Constitution.
  The Founding Fathers never messed with their interns, no.
  When they wanted sex, they just raped their slaves."
      -- Bart, in a back issue, during "The Flag is Falling" 1998

 Next time you have nothing to do, start on a pint of vodka and pick a number
 between 40 and the number of the issue when you started reading bartcop.com

 There's gold in those back issues, but you gotta pan for it :)


Subject: Re: What hit the Pentagon on 9-11?


Why the link to the slick, fictional, mesmerizing piece of garbage that directs
the viewer to conclude that Flight 77 did not hit the Pentagon?

Why that link?
Why not that link?
Can I get a list of approved links from you?


Dr. Babs, PhD

Subject: Tom Cruise can act 


South Park Bites Hand


Banned by Comedy Central from showing an image of the Islamic prophet Muhammad,
"South Park" skewered their own network for hypocrisy in the cartoon's most recent episode.

The comedy - in an episode aired during Holy Week for Christians - instead featured
an image of Jesus Christ defecating on Bush and the American flag.


Marty's Entertainment Page

always has good stuff.

Neil Young Records "Impeach the President"
 He's tired of singing the praises of Der Monkey


Rumors have circulated the past few days on the Web, but we tracked down
confirmation in a blog by musician/singer Alicia Morgan. Previous reports said
that Neil was working on a hard-rocking political or "anti-Bush" CD.

Last Friday, Morgan wrote on her LastLeftB4Hooterville blog that she had been "summoned"
to a local studio to sing on the new record with 99 others. "The first line of one of the songs was
'Let's impeach the President for lyin'!'  Turns out the whole thing is a classic beautiful protest record.

Welcome back, Neil.



If this radio program becomes available via podcast, I'd be a subscriber for life.
The audio sounds real nice.

Best Regards,

Pete, this is the first I've heard.
Apparently, the BartCast sounds better than the members section 40K mono
(CD buyers hear the 128K-Tommy-Mack-in-all-his-glory stereo)

Also, I hope I didn't misstate the facts.
We put a 7-minute snippet sampler on Podcast, if that's the same as iTunes.
My only income (besides the banner ads lose change) is radio show subscriptions.

Since it says "Internet comedian" on my tax return, (beats "Bush stake driver")
I guess I need to confess to showing a little thigh in the hopes of enticing progressive,
employed Democrats into paying for the real thing. I remember writing years ago,
"Staying alive is a noble cause."

It's tough out here for a lefty webmaster.



The Fallujah Option


Of all the war crimes that have flowed from the originating war crime of George W. Bush's unprovoked
invasion of Iraq, perhaps the most flagrant was the wanton destruction of Fallujah in November 2004.
Now, as ignominious defeat looms for Bush's Babylonian folly, some of the key players in fomenting
the war are urging that the "Fallujah Option" be applied to an even bigger target: Baghdad.

Bush is going to Democratize Iraq if he has to murder every last one of them.



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Subject: Tom Cruise

I don't know if he can act or not.
I've enjoyed some of the movies he's been in. I like Rain Man.
What I do know is he's crazier than a  shithouse rat.
Matt Lauer should have reached across and bitch-slapped him.

Have a great day.
 Jim T

Subject: Tom Cruise


Tom Cruise may be a loon and a mediocre actor, but he has done something that sets him apart
from everybody else: worked with every A-list director, almost systematically.  Think about it:

How many people of his generation have worked with Kubrick, Scorsese, Levinson, DePalma, Woo,
Pollack, Reiner, Spielberg, Oliver Stone, Ridley Scott, Zeffirelli, Coppola, Ron Howard and Cameron Crowe?
He is the only one.

I dont care much for the guy or his acting, but he makes some wise choices and surrounds himself
with the best directors on the planet, which may explain some of his success.

Did Cruise really do a film with Tiger Woods?


 Iraq pumps 2,000,000 barrels a day,
(and that was before the 2002 Halliburton Upgrade)
 times today's oil price which is  $70.82 a barrel
makes $141,640,000 Bush stole just yesterday

...add to that, Iran pumps 3M barrels a day.

Once the sick bastard invades, that's 5M barrels a day
times today's oil price which is  $70.82 a barrel
makes $354,100,000 dollars Bush will steal daily

That's a third of a billion dollars every day
No wonder they were so eager to start a war

...and what did it cost us?

2368  2375 soldiers' lives

We lost seven since Friday.

On what date will Bush's oil snatch hit $100 a barrel?


Subject: agree with most things you say, but...

According to Peter Bergen, Osama had very little use of the CIA.

You mean Osama manufactured his own American made Stinger missles?
I'm a gambling man and I'm ready to bet that he didn't.
How much you willing to go?

He was flush with his personal fortune in addition to scads of money lavished on him by the Saudis.
I trust Bergen on the topic of CIA support for bin Laden more than I trust you, but keep swinging the hammer.
Bergen has been in the Hindu Kush and met with Osama, you have been at Bixby eating sweet corn.
Stick to topics that you know about instead of just regurgitating left wing propaganda.


You might have me in that I short-cutted "money" for "money, training, supplies and intelligence."
I'll plead guilty to the short cut and what if we let Robery Parry settle it?


At the time, Pakistan was assisting the Reagan administration's covert operation in Afghanistan,
which was considered a higher priority than stopping the spread of nuclear weapons. In Afghanistan,
the CIA's operations division and the Pakistani intelligence service were helping Islamic fundamentalists,
including Osama bin Laden, battle Soviet troops.


Barry Bonds committed perjury?


A federal grand jury is investigating whether Bonds committed perjury when he testified in 2003
that he never used steroids. The panel has been hearing evidence for more than a month

 Lying about drugs?
 That's bad, he's black and he's gotta be punished.

 Lying about war that put 2350 soldiers in the ground?
 That's OK because Bush knows what he's doing.



Big $$ Strike Set for May 1

Don't spend any money on May 1.
Don't buy food, don't buy gas, don't go to a movie.
Prepare in advance, then keep your wallet closed that day.

This has never worked before, but I've never seen it discussed on TV before,
and the Speaker of the CA House (?) is helping to lead the charge.

Take it a Step Further


For the rest of this year, don't purchase any gasoline from those Exxon bastards.
They're making $3B PROFIT a month. I think that's gouging, don't you?

If they are not selling any gas, they will be inclined to reduce their prices.
If they reduce their prices, the other gougers will have to follow suit.
But to have an impact, we need to reach literally millions of people.

bartcop.com  has dozens of readers.
Let's all do what we can to see if May 1 gets anybody's attention.

     "What?   Most of America is fed up with the Bush bastards?"


Subject: posting e-mail addresses

Bart, why didn't you post Adam's email address last issue?

Oh, right, he agrees with you about that poorly written, poorly acted, improbably, piece of shit show, 24.
You only leak the email address of those who challenge you, as retaliation, like the closet rethuglican you are.
You asswipe, are a torture-supporting, bad TV-watching, hypocrite.

 Athur De Monkey

If someone disagrees, I'll print their letter.
But when someone screams,

"Are you fucking kidding me?
...piece of shit?
...you're dumber than dog shit,"  at me, they're not interested in having a conversation,
their just throwing their feces at everyone they see to get attention so I print their address
so the other feces-throwing Monkeys can communicate with them and start a club.

Call it a public service.


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Subject: you're manipulated

The reason why open season has been declared on Tom Cruise is because
he spoke out against big pharma. You forget we live in a fascist dictatorship
and you can't speak out against the man or you will be punished.

So unwittingly you are a tool of the the man Bart, so lay off Tom.

Andy, unless you have a gun in your hand, I don't take orders very well.
Cruise also spoke out against psychiatry, saying people need to "just snap out of it,"
if they're depressed or struggling to retain their sanity.

With or without his attacks on big pharma, Cruise has a diploma
from Loon University hanging on his office wall.


 Call the all new, toll-free 
 GOP callers Welcome (snicker)

TV Stuff
Written late Sunday afternoon.

On last week's Sopranos, some of Vito's mob associates found him in a gay bar,
dressed up in leather and dancing with another fella dressed the same way.

They couldn't believe their eyes, and started calling him the usual names.
Vito tried to excuse himself by saying, "It's a joke," but they didn't buy it.
In the mob, being gay is being worse than being a woman.

Since nothing would stop the two from telling what they saw, Vito's best chance was
to whack them before they had a chance to make any phone calls, but he failed to do that.
When we last saw Vito, he'd checked himself into a hotel and was eyeing his gun.

Since Tony is in therapy ( a big no-no, but not as big as being gay)
he might excuse Vito, but not the others.  Will Vito survive the night?


Mandy Moore's "American Dreamz"


Mandy Moore is no teen idol any more; she's 21 and she knows where she's going. Where?
Straight to the top of the Hollywood heap, if she keeps picking films like "American Dreamz



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