Politics * Sarcasm * U2 * Chinaco * Humor * Poker * Ridicule * Travel Guide * Revenge * Bartcop Radio
News and comment not approved by Karl Rove
Where genius and moron collide to form entertainment 
Raising the bar on Tequila Treehouse journalism
"A modem,  a smart mouth and the truth."
Established Feb. 1996

Subscribe to Bartcop

How to Read  bartcop.com

Contact Us

Show 92 is up

Wed-Thursday  May 3-4, 2006  Volume 1757 - Patterns of Force

Quote of the Day

"Colbert's routine was a satirical take on 
  the bloviating wingnut (and covert wingnut)
  gasbags who support the Republicans no 
  matter what they do. That's not in bad taste. 
  It's a public service."
     -- Digby   Link

In Today's Tequila Treehouse...
The WMD Boomerang
Bird Flu Chaos? 
Brits Drown Iraqi Kid 
Colbert wins Award
Homage to Colbert 
Choco Contest 
Grandma's in Iraq 
Jessica Alba Hosts 




"The party needs somebody to stand up to the president.''
     -- Arlen Specter,  Bush's poodle in the senate,  Link


Bush, Iran & the WMD Boomerang
  by Ivan Eland  as seen on  consortiumnews.com


Instead of earning the protection of the international community, however, Iraq's acquiescence led to a 
devastating assault on the country by the United States. Tens of thousands of Iraqis died, the nation now 
totters on the brink of civil war -- and Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein was captured, photographed in his 
underwear and is likely to face execution, probably by hanging.

By contrast, North Korea's leaders defied outside pressure, apparently built a nuclear bomb, and thus have 
kept the Bush administration at bay. In this guest essay, Ivan Eland of the Independent Institute looks at the 
unpleasant choices ahead on Iran because of Bush's WMD boomerang:

Note: Consortiumnews.com  is the most important site in the Internet 



Bird Flu Chaos Predicted


A flu pandemic would cause massive disruptions lasting for months, and cities, states and businesses
must make plans now to keep functioning -- and not count on a federal rescue, Bush said Wednesday.

''Our nation will face this global threat united in purpose and united in action in order to best protect our families,
our communities, our nation and our world from the threat of pandemic influenza,'' Bush said in a letter.

Even the most draconian steps, such as shutting down U.S. borders against outbreaks abroad, would almost
certainly fail to keep a flu pandemic from spreading here, the report acknowledges -- and thus it outlines more
limited travel restrictions that would be used instead..

At least they're talking about this now, which is long overdue. 
I'd like to see what steps they're going to take. 

Will they shut down airports and Interstate highways? 
Should they? 
Should we be stocking up with four months of food & water & medicine? 

Once this thing hits, if it does, panic will be coast-to-coast. 
Why not spell out the plans now, so people know what's coming? 

Or will the BFEE makes billions from that disaster, too? 
Is that the name of the game? 
The worse things get, the money money they can steal? 


Impeachment Weighed Again


Who would have thought, just seven years after the Clinton impeachment farce, we'd again be considering
impeachment? Yet here we are, five years into the Bush presidency, and again impeachment is in the air.
For some time, opponents of the Iraq War have been calling for impeachment. You could see their signs
at marches, but given Republican control of the House, it was hard to take the idea seriously. In recent months,
though, impeachment calls have gained a new seriousness - and wider public support - and for good reason:
This November, a shift of only 15 House seats would give Democrats control of the House and of the Judiciary
Committee.   John Conyers who would become Judiciary Committee chair, has already submitted a bill calling
for an investigation into impeachable crimes, and would certainly welcome an impeachment bill.

How can we possibly have a free and fair election if Bush is going to be impeached if we get the House? 
Will the Democrats bother to call for a paper trail for the votes we cast? 
Or are they willing to trust Republican-owned Diebold again? 


Brit Soldiers Drown Looting Kid

     "I'll never loot again..."


Four British soldiers drowned a teenage Iraqi looter after forcing him into a canal
at gunpoint "to teach him a lesson", a court martial heard yesterday.

They frogmarched asthmatic Ahmed Jabar Karheem, 15, and three others,
down a muddy bank and ordered them to swim.

But non-swimmer Karheem got into difficulty and disappeared under 6ft of water.
One of the soldiers began to rescue him, but his commander ordered him back, it was alleged

How can they not love the invading army in Iraq? 


Subject: Colbert fallout


In the wake of Stephen Colbert's appearance at the White House Correspondents dinner,
there have been an incredibly diverse range of reactions; best of all is Mary Matalin, saying...

"Because he is who he is, and everyone likes him, I think this room
thought he was going to be more sophisticated and creative."

To which I can only reply to Mary that one of the first rules of good comedy is "Know your audience".
Leading to the more obvious question, which is 'since when, at least recently, has the mainstream press
or the Bush2 administration been 'sophisticated and creative'?'

Colbert's act was more than comedy, more than entertainment; it was one solitary, independent citizen
turning to both the administration and the mainstream-bigcorp. press (that so loves to portray itself as
the 'defenders of democracy') and saying 'I bring a message from real America: you suck.'


Last issue I asked who the Bush administration idiot was that hired Colbert. 
One reply said, "Maybe this White House is so stupid, they thought Colbert was a rightie."

Holy Koresh - could they actually be that stupid? 



Anthem Quotes

"I think the national anthem ought to be sung in English, and I think
  people who want to be a citizen of this country ought to learn English
  and they ought to learn to sing the national anthem in English."
       -- Murderer, 4/28/06,  Link

"When visiting cities like Chicago, Milwaukee, or Philadelphia, in pivotal states,
  he would drop in at Hispanic festivals and parties, sometimes joining in singing
 "The Star-Spangled Banner" in Spanish, sometimes partying with a "Viva Bush"
  mariachi band flown in from Texas."
     -- Kevin Phillips, in his book American Dynasty, Link


"Bush didn't lie. He simply said Meskins need to sing the anthem in English,
  while us 'Mericans can sing it in whatever language we choose·
  ...one o' them benefits of being a 'Merican."
    -- Buford,   Link

"There is a tape of Bush humming the national anthem in Spanish while
  Jeff Gannon gives him a hummer wearing nothing but a bandolier and a Mexican hat."
      -- GSD,   Link


Subject: supply and demand

Oil company executives say that gas prices are up because of supply and demand. 
Those who have the supply can demand whatever they want.

Marc Perkel
San Francisco, CA.


Get your two minutes on BartCop Radio

Bush lovers welcome to call
Spankings are free 


Stephen Colbert wins Buzzflash Award


No matter how much Bush goofs up, lies, deceives, violates the Constitution, commits illegal acts, allows people
to die and overall screws the average American, as he rewards war profiteers who are his campaign contributors,
the D.C. press corps believes he should not be confronted with the truth or held accountable.  This is mindboggling.

Never leaving character, he cranked up his material to a scathing exposure of the man sitting but a few feet away from him.

And then Colbert ended in a brilliant "gag" video that cried out the one question Bush never can answer honestly,
"Why did we go to war with Iraq?" By the end of the video, co-starring the heroic Helen Thomas, that unanswered
question literally became a shriek in the ears of George W. Bush.

Brilliant, heroic, a moment of hope.

Shame, shame on the Washington press whores for helping Bush kill and maim so many people.

Read Colbert's Speech



Choco Contest
 First correct triple-answer wins

Part 1:
On Veronica Mars last Tuesday, somebody was shot and killed. 
What about his death was ironic?
It's a one-word answer, it's a noun and it's plural. 

Part 2:
What's Bill Clinton's birthday?   (Don't need the year) 

Part 3:
Del Castillo has a new CD out - Brotherhood
Rick Del Castillo played guitar at Bart's Hard Rock Island for what band? 
There were two, either will do, so you have a double shot at getting this. 

So, a correct answer might look something like, 
"Rubbers, July 4th and Hootie and the Blowfish."

First place gets the chocolate, 
second & third place get 30 days of BCR

 I know and I LOVE great chocolate!

Subject: Colbert

Bart, you wrote:

> The only way it could've been worse, is if they'd asked Ol' Bart to speak.

Don't flatter yourself.

Brew, it's true - I have an ego the size of the Milky Way. 
It's all about me. 

Actually, I was praising Colbert's restraint. 
Had it been crusty Ol' Bart at the WHCD, 
I might've whipped something out and said something, ...inappropriate. 


Oxycontin Holds Secret to Gay Pill
 Does this mean Rush is gay?


Oxycontin is a main ingredient to the "gay pill," the chemical compound proven to turn normal,
red-blooded men and boys into devout homosexuals. Worse yet, Oxycontin alone is enough
to win the average male over to the homosexual lifestyle.

Oxycontin is a powerful, synthetic opium derivative, and an efficient painkiller. How it works is by
latching itself on to your body's nerve receptors, blocking them so your nerves are unable to report pain.


The net's best advertising deal

 advertise on  bartcop.com

Amnesty: US Torture "widespread"
 World's greatest country turns criminal


Torture and inhumane treatment are "widespread" in U.S.-run detention centers in Afghanistan,
Iraq, Cuba and elsewhere despite Washington's denials, Amnesty International said on Wednesday.

In a report for the UN, Amnesty International alleged abuses within our domestic law enforcement system,
including use of excessive force by police and degrading conditions of isolation for inmates in high security prisons.

"Evidence continues to emerge of widespread torture and other cruel, inhumane or degrading treatment of
detainees held in U.S. custody," Amnesty said in its 47-page report.

I'm so old, I remember when America was respected.



Musical Quotes

"Eventually you wake up and you're like, 'Wow, I need to stop hallucinating today.' "
       -- Black Crowes singer Chris Robinson, on his drug use   Link


My good friends at  takebackthemedia.com have a DVD. 
Who's really making decisions for America?

Subject: Colbert

You can see the complete video on www.c-span.org

Stephen is my favorite comedian at this time and I try to catch each new show.
How pitiful is our press, how awful pitiful is our press, the democratic party, the toothless
flyover humans of this great country that we need a "comedian" that has the balls to tell the truth!

I have watched the Colbert roast of Bush and the press and the best part was when said,
"make announce type then go home" blasted the lap dog press!
The press hasn't the balls to even cover Colbert. I think this country could be lost.

Thank you Bartcop for being there, we need you, keep the hammer swinging.


Homage to Colbert


Considering the tremendous cojones it must take to appear onstage just yards from a sitting President and his
complicit minions ÷ all held captive in their seats by decorum and politesse ÷ and explicitly (and hilariously)
outline their myriad shortcomings and failures to their faces as likely no one has or soon will again, Colbert's
routine must stand as one of the best examples of speaking truth to power that we've seen in the past five years
under this lying, arrogant, self-righteous, short-sighted, inconsiderate, conniving, beady-eyed, ape-faced, a-heh-heh
chuckling motherfucker's reign as our "President." But, for some reason, the majority of articles covering this event
are ignoring this very bold public challenge and are instead focusing primarily on the Bush look-alike with whom the
president exchanged hackneyed, G-rated shtick revolving around the malapropisms the Right tries to pretend
makes him lovable instead of simple-minded and depressingly mediocre.


Subject: how to find the newsgroups

Just go to your browser's mailer -- with I.E. it's Outlook Express.
Click on the "news" part of the Folders bar (lower left). When all the groups load,
type a term into the search field -- i.e. alt.fan.rush.limbaugh, politics, cats, whatever.

If you like what comes up, hit "subscribe," and the groups you've subscribed to will
come up when you click the triangle beside "news."

I've noticed that Google groups don't necessarily list all the postings.
And oh yeah, don't forget to Google "anonymous remailers" if you want to conceal your IP address.

Clear as mud?   :)
The Slothful One.

Dude, thanks for that. 



"I would rather have Jeff Gannon as the new press secretary instead of Tony Snow!
  At least the press briefings would be more interesting with a real whore doing them!"
       -- Jay Randal,   Link


Marty's Entertainment Page

always has good stuff.

Grandmother Ordered to Iraq
 That's how desperate Bush's military is


Janet Grass, 52, had planned to retire from the military in about 10 months after spending 19 years
in the U.S. Navy Reserve. Instead, she has been ordered to leave her job as a special-education
teacher in Cascade to do security work in the Middle East.

"They're changing my career just as I'm retiring," she said.
"I guess they wanted to try one more thing for me."


Subject: Colbert

Not only was it epic satire, but at the same time he pre-empted the inevitable criticism during the performance.
So far it has been "edgy", "over the line" or the standard "not the usual routine expected at this event".
No shit.

He took what would normally be their annual circle jerk where they all have a few cocktails and think
"he's not so bad, and we do a good job" that maintains their status quo for another 12 months,
and rammed it down their sycophantic, bow-tied & Versace'd throats.

Colbert took the usual polite self-barbs at the president & soft jabs at the media that they use to show
how the 'battle' between whatever current talking points monkey & the intrepid WH Press Corps gets
set aside for this annual love-in and power slammed all of them at once from the top of the steel cage,
while standing 6 feet from der Fuhrer himself.

"Courage, my word."  -  The Tragically Hip

He did in 13 minutes what the multi-billion dollar media has done 1/20th of in half a decade...

and the whore AP paid him for it...




"Libs think that I'm going to show up and start biting their heads off.
  They'll start taunting me to get me to behave as the circus act that they think I am."
     -- Rush the circus act, who got fired from his football "dream job" after five days at work
         because he couldn't keep a lid on his hatred of black people    Link


Subject: "I'm so ashamed to be a Democrat"

Then switch to another party. 

Got any suggestions?
Besides, this week's issues have been written on pain pills,
so you'll have to give a brother a break..

Did any of these people - maybe you - who are ashamed get out and canvas last weekend? 
"Fighting" involves more than just throwing insults or making up some funny one liners, 
it involves shoe leather and some hard, thoughtful work.

I think I'll get my Boondocks fix elsewhere from this point on.

Dan, so you're proud to be a Democrat these days?
Is it the constant losing or the Bush ass-kissing that makes you proud?




Get your official bartcop.com
Impeach Bush Now! sticker!    Free with your donation, 

Four stickers for one donation! 

New! Official WPE t-shirts!!

We have men's and women's shirts in S, M, L, XL and XXL. 
These are the highest quality yada yada shirts ever! 

Don't settle for any "WPE" shirt you see - these are the real deal
and they're free with a mere $21 (or more) donation. 

Show the world how you feel
about America being held hostage by these crazy bastards. 

PayPal to  bartcop@bartcop.com

Tell us what size shirt you want

or snail mail to 

PO Box 54466
Tulsa, OK  74155

NYWTimes Discovers Colbert

         Der Murderer scowls at the truth-telling comic


Mark Smith, a reporter for The Associated Press who is president of the White House Correspondents' 
Association, acknowledges that he had not seen much of Stephen Colbert on Comedy Central before he 
booked him as the main entertainment for the association's annual black-tie dinner on Saturday night. 
But he says he knew enough about Mr. Colbert ÷ "He not only skewers politicians, he skewers those 
of us in the media" ÷ to expect that he would cause some good-natured discomfort among the 2,600 
guests, many of them politicians and reporters.


Subject: the world is safer

Bart, while listening to Sean Hannity yesterday I had an epiphany.  He firmly believes three things:

1).  Saddam had WMD's
2).  Saddam dumped them into Syria or some other terrorist breeding ground
3).  The world is a safer place because of what Our Great Leader did

By applying simple predicate logic, which may or may not produce a true conclusion, we can say

If Saddam had WMD's
Then Saddam dumped into Syria
Therefore the world is a safer place

In other words, we knew who had them and we knew where they were 
but we are safer now that we don't know who has them nor where they are!


Bryant - Jacksonville, Florida


 Iraq pumps 2,000,000 barrels a day,
(and that was before the 2002 Halliburton Upgrade) 
 times today's oil price which is$72.28 a barrel
makes $144,560,000 Bush stole just yesterday

...add to that, Iran pumps FOUR M barrels a day.

Once the sick bastard invades, that's 6 M barrels a day
times today's oil price which is  $72.28 a barrel
makes $433,680,000 dollars Bush will steal daily

That's a third of a billion dollars every day
No wonder they were so eager to start a war

...and what did it cost us?

2404  2409 soldiers



"The Supreme Court has ruled in favor of Anna Nicole Smith.
  Guess that lap dance for Clarence Thomas paid off."
       -- David Letterman


Tally's Tequila Tutorial



Cut & Run?  You Bet
 by Lt. Gen. William E. Odom 


Two facts, however painful, must be recognized, or we will remain perilously confused in Iraq. First, invading Iraq
was not in the interests of the United States. It was in the interests of Iran and al Qaeda. For Iran, it avenged a grudge
against Saddam for his invasion of the country in 1980. For al Qaeda, it made it easier to kill Americans. Second,
the war has paralyzed the United States in the world diplomatically and strategically. Although relations with Europe
show signs of marginal improvement, the trans-Atlantic alliance still may not survive the war. Only with a rapid
withdrawal from Iraq will Washington regain diplomatic and military mobility. Tied down like Gulliver in the sands
of Mesopotamia, we simply cannot attract the diplomatic and military cooperation necessary to win the real battle
against terror. Getting out of Iraq is the precondition for any improvement.


Subject: flying monkeys on the Simpsons

do you know which episode that was when Mr. Burns released 
the flying monkeys out of his office window as shown in The Wizard of Oz?


No, but that sounds familiar... 
Is that the one where Mike Malloy was the guest star? 


Donate $24 (or more) and get a 

3  months of 
3 x 2 = 6 BCR Discs

BCR 90,BCR 91  and the just-released  BCR 91
delivered directly to your home like magic

 3 BCR Shows,
4 stickers,
plus 3 months of BCR for  $24 (cheap)

PayPal to  bartcop@bartcop.com
PO Box 54466
Tulsa, OK  74155


"Keeping a sharp eye out for the tsunami that's supposed to hit Fiji...
  What would Ray Nagin do, if he was Mayor of Fiji?"
      -- Rush the vulgar Pigboy addict, who can't pass up a slur on a black man, Link


Subject: South's Finest Chocolate

Does the SFC come in dark chocolate too?


Is a bear Catholic? 
(That means yes.) 


 Call the all new, toll-free 
 GOP callers Welcome (snicker)

Subject: Pokerfest Tijuana

Heres the place for the next Pokerfest...Tijuana.
Cheap Beer, Cheap Tequila, Cheap Strip Joints, and now Legal Drugs.
It makes Vegas look like a church. (And that was before the legal drugs)

Whooo Hoooo!
Now that's going ALL IN.

Don't forget to check out the site
Live From Hollywood

I am hankering for a Pokerfest, but is there a demand for that? 


Jessica Alba Gets Wild


Jessica Alba is going to host the MTV Movie Awards.

"It's always a crazy, fun show, and I can't wait to be right in the middle of the action,"
the 25-year-old actress said Monday in a statement to The Whore Associated Press.


Thank you to bartcop.com  subscribers.
I know you work hard for your money, so I take it as
a compliment when you throw some my way each month.

 Read the  Previous Issue

 It had  everything.

 Copyright © 2006, bartcop.com

 Shopping online?

 Use this portal
and they'll send bartcop.com
four cents from each dollar.

Search Now:
In Association with Amazon.com

Click Here to see if reality
 is a good fit for your life

Computer Tyme Hosting is owned by Marc Perkel, who first put Bartcop on the Internet back in 1996 and keeps  Bartcop online today. 

Marc hosts several other political sites including American Politics Journal, Political StrikesFaux News Channel, Seeds of Doubt and interesting sites like the
Church of Reality - a religion based on believing in everything that is real. 

Our motto for this year is - "No Anti-Bush Site Left Behind". So - if you have an anti-bush site and you are  choking on hosting fees or dealing with threats - let us know and we'll help keep you online. 

 We also have that strongest server side spam filtering on the planet. 
Check out Marx Mail for info on how you can have a Spam Free Email Account.


Perkel's new Church

If it's Real - we believe in it!
Click here to join the Church of Reality mailing list.

This space left blank. 

To hear the radio shows, you must have a login and password. 
Click  Here  to subscribe and get your login and password. 

BCR Show #92

Listen to it before you share it.

Click Here to Listen to Part 1 of Show 92
Click Here to download Part 1 of Show 92

Click Here to Listen to Part 2 of Show 92
Click Here to download Part 2 of Show 92

Click Here to Listen to Part 3 of Show 92
Click Here to download Part 3 of Show 92

 Click Here to Listen to Part 4 of Show 92
Click Here to download Part 4 of Show 92

  Click Here  for the radio archives


 bartcop.com  and BartCop are trademarks of attempts at humor 

bartcop.com is nothing but the truth, but as we write this, we're not under oath. 
But everything we write is the damn truth, and I pity the fool who wants to test me in court. 
For instance, George W. Bush is dumber than spoiled meat and everybody knows it. 

bartcop.com  is intended for adults with a brain - it's not for everyone. 
If you find this site offensive in any way, go spank yourself because I don't have the time. 

Want your news candy-coated? 
This ain't the place. 
Want news approved by Karl Rove? 
This ain't the place. 
Fine, write and say why, but don't look for trouble. 
And for the sake of cheeses, if you write, SAY something. 

If you have a sense of humor, subscribe
If you don't, don't. 

If the money's on the table tomorrow, I'll know we have a deal. 

Show 92 is up

Radio Links below

Current Issue
Back Issues
 Subscribe to BartBlog Feed
How to Read BartCop.com
Members ( need password)
Subscribe to BartCop!
Contact Us
Advertise With Us
Link to Us
Why Donate?
The Forum  - bartcopforum@yahoo.com
The Reader
Poster Downloads
Shirts & Shots
BartCop Hotties
More Links
BFEE Scorecard
Perkel's Blog
Power of Nightmares
Clinton Fox Interview
Part 1, Part 2
Money Talks
Cost of Bush's greed
White Rose Society
Project 60
Chinaco Anejo

Web BartCop.com

Search Now:
In Association with Amazon.com

Link Roll
American Politics Journal
Barry Crimmins
Betty Bowers
Consortium News 
Daily Howler
Daily Kos
Democatic Underground 
Disinfotainment Today 
Evil GOP Bastards
Faux News Channel 
Greg Palast
The Hollywood Liberal 
Internet Weekly
Jesus General
Joe Conason 
Josh Marshall
Liberal Oasis
Make Them Accountable 
Mark Morford 
Mike Malloy 
Political Humor - About.com
Political Wire
Randi Rhodes
Rude Pundit 
Smirking Chimp
Take Back the Media 
More Links


Locations of visitors to this page
Privacy Policy
. .