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 Weekend-Monday   Aug 26-28, 2006 Vol 1827 - Unbalanced

Quote of the Day

"Rumsfeld served up our great military 
  a huge bowl of chicken shit, and ever since then, 
  our military and our country have been trying to 
  turn this bowl into chicken salad." 
     --Ret. General John Batiste, 
        former Army commander in Iraq  Link

In Today's Tequila Treehouse...
Disdainful Presidency 
Bush on Trial? 
Farting for Laughs 
Crony Contractors
Ho-Media loves Rockey
To Iran, with Love
Chicks film an issue 
Lesbian wins in AL 
Eva Longoria - Real?


Bush Blew a Guy


"High rates of legal immigration provide cheap, nonunion labor for big business,
  a steady stream of domestic servants for the overclass, and lower wages for
  American workers. So why do so many liberals support them?
     -- Mike Lind, asking some good questions,   Link

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Bush's Disdainful Presidency
 by Robert Parry
Great writing about our problem child.
Try your best to read the entire column.

The swelling of Bush's head was apparent in his interview for Bob Woodward's Bush at War,
which took a largely flattering look at Bush's "gut" decision-making but reported some
disturbing attitudes within the White House.

"I am the commander, see," Bush told Woodward. "I do not need to explain why I say things.
That's the interesting thing about being the President. Maybe somebody needs to explain to me
why they need to say something, but I don't feel like I owe anybody an explanation."

So, Bush had come to see himself as beyond accountability, much as ancient royalty viewed
their own powers as unlimited under the divine right of kings. In the traditional droite de seigneur,
a nobleman had the right to deflower the bride of a male subject on their first night of marriage.

Now we're told that George W. Bush has another way of demonstrating his supremacy over
subordinates: when new White House aides are brought in to be introduced to the President
of the United States, the President farts.

Note:  is the most important site on the internet

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Bush and Saddam Should Both Stand Trial
 Says a chief prosecutor of Nazi war crimes at Nuremberg


A chief prosecutor of Nazi war crimes at Nuremberg has said Bush should be tried for war crimes
along with Saddam. Benjamin Ferenccz, who secured convictions for 22 Nazi officers for their work
in orchestrating the death squads that killed more than 1 million people, said Bush and Saddam should
be tried for starting "aggressive" wars--Saddam for Kuwait and Bush for his 2003 invasion of Iraq.

"Nuremberg declared that aggressive war is the supreme international crime," the 87-year-old Ferenccz
said in New York. He said the United Nations charter, which was written after the carnage of WWII,
contains a provision that no nation can use armed force without the permission of the UN Security Council.

But Bush has nukes and he's just itching to use them on somebody.
Maybe if enough people vote democrat in November, the pink tutu congress will...

Nah, they'll probably still be afraid of Bush even when they're in power.

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"I didn't vote for you, but you are my President. And you're not serving me.
  You yourself have said you had erroneous information going into this.
  As a Christian man, you realize that when you've made a mistake it's your
  responsiblity to end this.  As President, you're here to serve the people.
  And the people are not being served with this war."
      -- Hildi Halley, to the Giggling Murderer in a private meeting, Link

"There's no point discussing the pros and cons of the war."
      -- Bush's response to Hildi Halley,   Link


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Subject: how many are wounded?

The McLaughlin Group says over 62,000 troops wounded which includes PTSD
and Brain Traumas which leave no visible wounds (like my Viet Vet brother with PTSD)
so I guess they don't count. If you don't count them they aren't wounded. Right?

BC Martin

That pisses me off, but what also pisses me off is after the amputations are over,
and we find out by war's end we had 100,000 maimed and memories lost,
THEN the families of the wounded will be everywhere telling us how bad it is.

Why don't they speak up NOW and save the next 40,000 amputees?
Why don't the families of the dead-for-no-reason speak up NOW?

We should have thousands of Cindy Sheehans - where are they?
If they don't come forward when it counts, NOW, how can they make demands later?

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Tom the mtn bkr

The net's best advertising deal

 advertise on

Unbalanced and Farting for Laughs


Bush's "performance" in the news conference was so unbalanced and over-the-top that not only
his intelligence should be questioned -- as even Joe Scarborough managed to do -- but his mental
stability should be topic number one on the talk shows.

Adding fuel to that last point was an item in U.S. News and World Report, largely ignored by the
mainstream press, that Bush loves to amuse himself by openly passing gas in front of White House
aides. They said, "He's also known to cut a few for laughs, especially when greeting new young aides."
Is this what Republicans mean when they claim Bush brought back "honor and dignity" to the White House?

"Farting" for fun to humiliate new young White House staffers isn't just passing gas,
it's a downright disgrace to the American people and to the White House.

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Subject: Saddam's WMDs

That would all be fine and true, except that your guy, the "best president ever"
Slick Willie also said that Iraq had WMD'S, so did the UN, as well as almost
every democrat senator during the last half of the 1990's

Did they all lie to, or did history of Iraq only begin when GWB took office
You guys are so lame
  Scott Gorney

Scott, are you pregnant?
I ask because you keep skipping your periods.

I have a fact for you:
Saying or thinking Saddam had WMDs doesn't get 2600 soldiers killed.
Clinton was smart enough to not kill 2600 soldiers on a bad hunch.

BTW, is it a coincidence that the oil leaving Iraq is unmetered?
And what business were Bush & Cheney in before they stole the White House?

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"I'm not in charge of my own web site."
    -- MarKos on Bill Maher Friday night

Wait, the guy cashing the checks ...isn't in charge?

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Crony Contractors
 by Chris Floyd

In a little-noticed decision unsealed on August 18, US District Court Judge T.S. Ellis III overturned
a $10 million fraud verdict against Custer Battles LLC, one of the many crony conquistadors who
gorged on the vast porkfest known as "Iraqi reconstruction" during the high and palmy days of the
Coalition Provisional Authority. Ellis's judgment effectively provides blanket immunity for the many
politically-wired gorgers who made off with almost $9 billion in "unaccounted-for" taxpayer money
during the CPA's misrule of Iraq from April 2003 to June 2004 - one of the greatest heists in world history.

Why will the mammoth fraudsters go free?

Because of the iron illogic behind the decision. Although the CPA was created, funded, staffed and
directly controlled by the US government, Ellis declared it was not, in fact, an entity of the US government.
Therefore, Custer Battles - and by extension any other accused grafter from the CPA's golden age - cannot
be sued under the federal False Claims Act for defrauding the US government. For even if massive fraud
was committed - and Ellis indicated that it was - the "victim" no longer exists: the CPA has dissolved into air,
into thin air, like the "baseless fabric" of Prospero's vision in The Tempest. So, case dismissed - and the
blood money stays safely in corporate coffers.

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Saw it on

Subject: Survivor Race Experiment

This is the most stunningly brilliant idea I have heard in a long time.
Viewership will shoot through the roof.
I may actually watch the show myself, and I have always hated "reality" TV.

Apparently The Amazing Race always has a gay couple competing - is that bad?

I'm looking forward to this Survivor - if the culture nannies don't kill it.
I'll be rooting for the black block - wouldn't it be cool of they won everything?
(Except the swimming contests, of course.
 If Survivor makes swimming the final contest, can we yell "Fix!?")

Whoops, I guess that was a racial statement, too.

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Whore press loves Rockey

 "You did so great with Katrina,
   I wish you had a third term!"

"I wanted to thank President Bush for the millions of FEMA trailers that were brought down there.
They gave roofs over people's head. People had the chance to have baths, air condition. We have
TV, we have toiletry, we have things that are necessities that we can live upon.

But now, I wanted to remind the President that the job's not done, and he knows that. And I just
don't want the government and President Bush to forget about us. And I just wish the President
could have another term in Washington.

This guy is a symbol of the misery that so many people in Louisiana and Mississippi?
This couldn't have been more of home run for Bush if the whole thing had been set up by Karl Rove.

Why did anyone think Bush would be "too busy" to meet with the only guy in Louisiana
who thought it was a great move for Bush to ignore them for five days while they drowned?

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"No matter what we do with screening passengers, we're not having safe flights
  until we screen the cargo. The cargo isn't being screened at all. "
    -- Bush water carrier Tony Blankley  Link

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Subject: there you go again

I really don't know why you continue to support the clintons.
You really don't have to support the clintons to be considered liberal minded.
Killers are Killers.

Other than your enduring support for these cads
your web site and insight are a pillar for the perspective of truth.

keep up the work

Tony N.

Tony, "killers are killers?"
So Pickles and Der Monkey are equally dangerous?

               "I killed my fiance!"

"I've killed 2620 soldiers and 120,00 Iraqis."

Nader taught you that simplistic, bumper-sticker nonsense.
I can smell that self-aggrandizing bullshit from 50 yards away.

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NYC Officials Want New 'Survivor' Pulled
 No need to see the show, they hate it up-front


As CBS prepares to launch "Survivor," this time featuring teams divided by race,
enraged city officials are saying it promotes divisiveness and are calling for the network to reconsider.
For "Survivor," which premieres Sept. 14, the contestants compete while stranded on the
Cook Islands in the South Pacific will be divided into four teams blacks, Asians, Latinos and whites.

"The idea of having a battle of the races is preposterous," bloviated City Councilman John Liu.
"How could anybody be so desperate for ratings?"

How could anybody engage in such grandstanding, having never seen the "problem?"

CBS defended the ethnic twist, saying it reflects cultural and social issues.

"CBS fully recognizes the controversy, but has full confidence in the producers and their ability to produce
the program in a responsible manner," the statement said. "'Survivor' is a program that is no stranger to
controversy and has always answered its critics on the screen."  Last season, the show divided contestants
into groups of older men, younger men, older women and younger women.

Oh ...God.
You mean they pitted old vs young, and men vs women?
Why, that's ageist and sexist - we need to set our hair on fire.

One of the definitions of "prejudice" is  2) : an adverse opinion or leaning
formed without just grounds or before sufficient knowledge

Now who's guilty of that - CBS or the grandstanding New York councilmen?.

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Subject: Survivor

Bart, you said:

> "Until someone explains to me exactly what the problem is,
>  I'm going to hold my condemnation until I see something objectionable.
>  Maybe America's about to learn where we are on the racism evolutionary line."

Good for you!  The movie "Crash" was such an excellent movie
because it explored race relations and made people think.

What a great way to open initiate some critical thought among the couch potatoes.
 Jim in Topeka

Jim, great point.
How can we get past racial troubles if people can't explore them and make people think?

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Bush's Oil Invasion
 Kevin Phillips (R) "It's about oil."


This was getting down to the primal underpinnings of the 2003 invasion. According to Paul Roberts
in his 2004 book The End of Oil, Cheney and his task-force colleagues:

pored over maps of Iraqi oilfields to estimate how much Iraqi oil might be dumped quickly
on the [post-invasion] market. Before the war, Iraq had been producing 3.5 million barrels
a day, and many in the industry and the administration believed that the volume could easily
be increased to 7 million by 2010. If so-and if Iraq [under U.S. control] could be convinced
to ignore its OPEC quota and start producing at maximum capacity-the flood of new oil
would effectively end OPEC's ability to control prices.

The Anglo-American firms, in turn, would be in the catbird's seat.

If Bush & Blair did act substantially for oil-and that seems highly likely-then it is fair to judge the
Iraqi failure by oil-policy yardsticks and outcomes. The quick summation, obviously, is that whereas
oil was selling at roughly $30 a barrel in 2002, by late 2004 it cost $40 per barrel. By the time the
operation was marking its third anniversary this spring, petroleum was flirting with $75 a barrel..

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To Iran, with Love
 by Joe Conason


If the neoconservatives were not so adept at claiming the patriotic high ground for themselves
it might be time to start asking which of them are actually agents of Iran. The question is pertinent
because "objectively," as they like to say, neoconservative policy has resulted in enormous profit
to the Iranian mullahs, at grave cost to the United States and with little or no benefit to Israel.

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Marty's Entertainment Page

always has good stuff.

Click on the E!

New Shirts 
Available in black and royal blue

     MaK shirts just $23 Order yours today!
 Up close you can see $$$$ in Der Monkey's eyes.

  2-color Vio-Ext shirts just $25 Order yours today!

  WPE shirts just $23 Order yours today!

Snippy e-mail contest 

A reader suggested a contest - he paid for ten WPE or MaK shirts to use for prizes.

Here's how you win:
Write a hot or snippy e-mail to at least three media outlets and send us a copy.
Be sure the reader knows you're not happy with Der Monkey and his murders,
rapes, torture, invasions, thefts, gas-gouging, military draft, Katrina or whatever.

Include the line "worst president ever" in it, somewhere.

Be firm, be angry but don't be crude or vulgar.
I know you can write an angry letter and still make it G-rated or PG.

We'll have ten winners - IF ten people send in their e-mails.

 Send your copies here

Subject: Principles

It appears that up to 300,000 children died as a direct result of the Clinton-approved
and Clinton-expanded sanctions. Six cruise missles seem rather paltry in comparison.

If you doubt that number, ask Madeleine Albright.
I know that the justification is that we had to do something to Saddam.

Yeah, we really did.
Killed all those children right out from under him.
 Dick P

Since this comes up often, we should give it a name.
Women & children died in Lebanon.
Women & children die in Iraq.
Women & children die in North Korea.
Women & children died in Koresh's compound.
Women & children died in Dresden, Hiroshima and Tokyo.

If your guardian or dictator or babysitter is unstable and warlike, you may die.
How does one get past that fact?

Poppy Bush sent food to Somalia - the warlords stole it and sold it.
How do we get past the fact that bad things happen to unlucky peoples?

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Lesbian victory overturned realized
 No doubt they felt the pressure from

          Free at last


The Democratic primary victory of Alabama lesbian Patricia Todd for a seat
in the statehouse was overturned by a party committee tonight.

How is this legal?
How did I get in this party?

The removal of Patricia Todd from the Democratic slot on the ballot for the Alabama statehouse
by a committee of the Alabama Democratic Party has been reversed by the party's executive committee.

I'm a little less ashamed to be a Democrat today.

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Subject: concerning graphics

Dear BartCop,

I really like your website and have read it for a few years now. But this last week, your update for
"Thursday, Aug 24 Vol. 1825 - Rarely Surprised" contained two concerning graphics I would
respectfully ask to be removed.

One is of the US flag in the shape of a Nazi swastika and the other is of Lamont swimming above Jaws
the killer shark with a slogan at the bottom in which the world "Jaws" is clearly a substitute for "Jews".

I am a progressive Jewish person who is pro-American and am concerned about these two terribly
anti-Semitic graphics on your website. Most of my father's family was killed in the Holocaust and
though we all disagree with the government's policies, bashing Jews is not the answer.

I would hope that in the future you will consider not using graphics that do nothing to help our cause,
but instead feed the incorrect and flawed right-wing attacks on progressives.
  Thank you,
  Ron K

Ron, the nicest way I can think to reply is with a question:
Why in the world would I turn over editorial control of  to you?
Why would I let anybody tell me what was flawed or proper?

Is this a joke?
Artie, is that you?

You seem like a nice guy but you're making a whole lot of mistakes.
First, Jaws was a big movie - about a killer shark.
The shark doesn't know if his victims are Jewish or not.
Spielberg directed it, so where's your letter to him, protesting his anti-Semtic title?
You don't think Steven called and asked me what to name that film, do you?

Second, who said an attack on Kissyface was an attack on all Jews?
Why does he have to be a Jewish turncoat? Why can't he be just a turncoat?
Are you one of those people who sees conspiracies everywhere?

As far as the swastike flag, you're not concerned with the BFEE taking over the planet?
Who was the last group who tried to control everything on Earth?
And why would you associate Jews with a swastika?
I think of Nazis and fascist oil barons when I see a swastika, not Jews.

Plus, what if a Homeland Security employee didn't like the opening toon?
What if a military family didn't like the second toon?
What if a Katrina victim didn't like the third toon?
What if a black person didn't like seeing Janet Jackson in an orange bikini?

Lastly, there are thousands of bigger sites that push Free Speech a lot farther than I do.
I don't try to provoke and I don't try to avoid offending.

All I do is put together the kind of page I'd like to read if someone else was doing it.

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 Iraq pumped 3.5M barrels daily before Bush invaded
 and then they got their 2003 Halliburton upgrade

Bush's oil gouge, which is going to $100a barrel
makes $350,000,000Bush will steal every day.

No wonder they were so eager to start a war,

stealing  $350,000,000every day.

It's the biggest theft in Earth's history
and it conitues every day while soldiers die.

Bush's "Bring 'em on" death taunt is up to...

2615....2619 American victims

Four more dead since yesterday.
If we "stay the course,"
that's another 1500 dead each year.


By Christmas, Thanksgiving, Halloween, Bush will have killed
more Americans than his old partner Osama.

           Official Bartcop Chinaco Anejo shotglasses
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These shotglasses are sweet.
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"These glasses really do shine in broad light," says the photographer.

We located the highest quality shotglasses available on the web.
The gold is real gold.

You can get a set of four for just $35.
If you just need two, get them for just $25.

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Dixie Chicks film could be an issue
"We're ashamed the president is from Texas."


The politically charged documentary "Dixie Chicks: Shut Up and Sing" has been picked up
for worldwide distribution by the Weinstein Co.  A release is tentatively scheduled for the fall,
possibly right before the November elections.

It chronicles death threats, political attacks and radio boycotts against the country trio, and that
could make the film a political hot potato as well as potential ammo should longtime Democratic
party supporter Harvey Weinstein become involved in the fall political campaigns.

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Subject: voting Nader

Yeah thats it blame the people who actually voted for someone, anyone

It's a free country Bart, more people DIDN'T vote than voted for Nader.
Why doesn't anyone go after them?

You attack them for having "principles" ?
Not a good place to attack third party voters.

Solon, Iowa
(blue state in 2000, red state in 2004, never a green state)

Atom, I get that.
I didn't attack them for having principles.
I attacked them for helping Bush.

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Subject: Let's Be Honest...Shall We?

I love an e-mail with numbered questions,
but don't make me have to kick your ass...

1). Is Olbermann more conservative or center oriented than Donahue?

My guess would be more center.

2). Why has Olbermann remained while Donahue did not?

No telling, maybe timing?

3). Didn't the memo address Donahue as being a "tired, left-wing liberal that was not marketable"?

Doesn't matter - he was their top monkeymaker.

4). Can you honestly say that Donahue's show was enjoyable to watch?

I can't say that because I didn't watch it.
I don't watch Olbermann, either, but I'd like to.

5).  Isn't "our" message advanced quicker and with more credibility
when it's coming from someone like Olbermann rather than Donahue?

Clearly, you like Olbermann more than "tired" Donahue.
It's OK to have an opinion, but that doesn't make me dishonest.

Reading only parts of a memo and picking the information
that suits your argument is what THEY do.

Watch out, Cubby - that's a charge you can't make stick.

And sticking with a former super-host to advance your political agenda is what THEY do.
 Bryant- Jax, FL

Non-sequitor. There was no Olbermann when they fired Donahue,
and you failed to address the point, which was that they fired their #1 cash cow
for having an opinion that differed from the war-mongers - that's not very "free market."

 Send e-mail to Bart
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Subject: worse coverage ever

Editors, Gatekeepers, and Lapdogs,

I'm so old i can remember the days when the press would have had a field day
exposing blatent criminal behavior in high offices instead of enabling it.

By any and every concievable measure we are currently living in the times of the
Worst President Ever and the reason he's still in the oval office is because of you.


Bush is the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.
He has appointed more convicted criminals to his administration than any President in U.S. history.

He has broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history and has withdrawn
the US from the UN Human Rights Commission, the World Court of Law, and the Geneva Conventions.

He has lied us into wars, failed us on security, embarrassed us with fratboy behavior on the world stage,
bankrupted our national surplus, enriched contributors and henchmen, rewarded incompetence and
criminality, shredded constitutional rights, and...oh I could go on and on, but it just makes me sick.

Even sicker yet, he still gets all of you to laugh and fawn at your inane press conferences.

You have monolithicly failed us.  Why have you done this?

Mike D
Farmington Hills, MI

Mike, you are a winner.
Send your t-shirt color and size preferences.

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Party at the Palms, Sept 16
 A few tickets are still available!

 Tequila update - Info

Remember - you need a number to get in.
When we run out of numbers, we're full.

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Eva Longoria - Real or lookalike?


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