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Monday, Nov 13, 2006  Vol 1876 - Flaming Failure

Quote of the Day

"Let me put it to you this way: I earned 
  capital in the campaign, political capital, 
  and now I intend to spend it. It is my style." 
    -- Der Fuhrer, 11/04/04, on what elections mean,   Link

 Hey Fascist! You gambled that capital and lost it all.


In Today's Tequila Treehouse...
Dean, vindicated 
Der Fuhrer setbacks 
GOPs change careers 
Cheney in a Box 
The BFEE - Cornered rats  
Year of the Macaca 
W's Father Issues 
Brokeback Beyonce, Eva 



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Clash Quotes

"You don't hear much about Afghanistan. We certainly won that war."  
     -- Orrin Hatch, praising Rumsfeld, lying like a Republican,   Link

"A U.S. government-funded report released late last month says that Afghanistan 
  is now at a "tipping point" as security conditions there decline rapidly."
     --Tim Grieve, "Rumsfeld, revisited",  Link

 Hatch the liar needs to be retired.
 He seems to think 2848 dead soldiers in the war we're losing in Iraq is OK
 because we have fewer than 2848 dead in the war we're losing in Afghanistan.

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Bush's Belated Accountability Moment
    by Nat Parry

With the Democratic sweep of Congress, the White House finds itself confronting the likelihood 
of a more systematic and more rigorous form of accountability from congressional Democrats 
newly armed with subpoena powers. 

Rep. John Conyers, who has been holding investigative hearings into administration wrongdoing 
from the Capitol basement because the Republican congressional leadership denied him a committee 
room, now stands poised to become chairman of the House Judiciary Committee. 

Not only will Conyers be chairing the Judiciary Committee, but Henry Waxman will be taking over 
the House Committee on Government Reform.   Complementing Conyers's investigations into 
pre-war manipulations of intelligence have been Waxman's investigations into administration 
favoritism toward Halliburton, 

Halliburton's no-bid contracts have contributed to the value of Cheney's Halliburton stock options.
In 2005, Cheney's stock options increased in value from $241,498 to over $8 million. 

Note: is the most important site on the internet

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Used with permission

Clashing Quotes

"Ted and I had a discussion. He said homosexuality is genetic. 
   I said, no it isn't. But I just knew he was covering up. They need to say that."  
    -- Rev. Louis Sheldon, a Christianist from the Traditional Values Coalition, 
       disclosing that he and 'a lot' of others knew about Haggard's homosexuality 
       'for awhile ... but weren't sure just how to deal with it',    Link

  "I hate queers, but I love money."

Obviously, the best way to deal with the top Evangelical being queer was to sit back, 
say nothing, do nothing and rake in the cash from the gullible fools who buy their lies.

"You've got to have a group of people around you who will not let you whitewash the issue. 
  From the Christian perspective, we think in terms of what we call godly counsel, where 
  godly men who are clean themselves insert themselves in the life of the one who is struggling."  
    --H.B. London, VP of Focus on the Family, on Ted Haggard, Link

 ha ha
 Did he really say that?
 A queer evangelical can be cured by a clean godly man "inserting himself" into him?

 Isn't that how this trouble started?

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Howard Dean, vindicated
His "crazy" strategy helped make it happen 
  by Joe Conason


Only weeks after the DNC chose Howard Dean as its chairman last year, the nasty whispers 
began to circulate around Washington and among longtime party donors and activists. 
"He's going to be a disaster," they muttered. "He can't raise any money. He doesn't know 
what he's doing. And what does he mean by this crazy 50-state strategy?"  

Those early days must have been painful for Dean -- still smarting from his Iowa defeat and that 
endlessly looped "scream" video -- and he endured a barrage of snarks and snipes from the 
Democratic congressional leadership as well.  Unfortunately for Dean, he doesn't play the 
Washington press corps nearly as well as Rahm Emanuel or Chuck Schumer.  

But this week, he is enjoying vindication far earlier than he ever expected.  

A shot of Chinaco Anejo the "The Architect" of the Blue Tsunami - Howard Dean.

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"Bob Sherwood's House seat would have been overwhelmingly ours, 
  if his mistress hadn't whined about being throttled."  
     -- Grover Norquist, Master of Great Quotes,  Link

 I agree.
 If those bitches would just keep quite and accept being strangled by a congressman
 the House might've retained another soldier to do the heavy lifting for God and Dubya.

 Reminder: Norquist is the genius who said, 
"We need to starve the government until
   it's small enough that we can drown it in the bathtub."

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Bush did this - with his lies and greed.
This poor bastard is one of the "lucky" ones.

Will history remember Bush's deadly lies?


"Our party does not suffer the affliction of being a boiling mad collection 
  of fringe interests with notions so cockeyed that they ultimately 
  rub each other raw and make average Americans cringe."  
      --Rep. Joe Barton of Texas,  Link

 ha ha
 Did you ever think you'd hear such crazy talk from a guy with 'bart" in his name?

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More setbacks for Der Fuhrer


Though Bush wasn't on the ballot, voters took revenge on his Congress 
and put the Democrats in charge of both the Senate and House.

In an awkward bit of timing, Bush will be globe-trotting when Congress returns 
to open its lame-duck session, taking up business the White House deems vital.

Departing Tuesday, Bush will be away for eight days at a summit of Asia-Pacific rim leaders 
in Vietnam and stops in Singapore and Indonesia. Back just before Thanksgiving, he will jet off 
again a few days later for a NATO summit in Latvia and a stop in Estonia.

World leaders will be watching to see if Bush, politically weakened at home, acts differently on the world

Koresh, let's hope so.
Last time be traveled abroad (Where he's hated universally, not just by the majority)
he showed what an uneducated pig he was, cursing on camera, talking to Blair with
a mouth full of food and sexually molesting the German Chancellor.

Since he lost personal Condi-nanny, nobody is watching him closely enough.

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Subject: my Hillary story

Dear Bartcop,

I was fighting the VA for my veterans benefits.  I had been diagnosed with PTSD, bipolar disorder, and 
borderline personality disorder.  I tried holding a job.  I even tried going back to school.  One day I just 
couldn't leave my apartment.  I ended up on the streets for a year.  I remember very little about that time.  

I was asking the VA for total disability  as I was subject to nightmares.  I was terrified of most men.  
I suffered from substance abuse. I was ready to give up.  My fellows veterans at the hosiptal said they 
would never forgive me if I did.  So being somewhat of computer geek, I began emailing Bill Clinton.  
He referred me to Mrs. Clinton's office.  She had set up an office just for women veterans.  

Her main assistant sent me a letter with her name, phone number, and her business card..  
Her first name was Linda.  I'm getting old so I've forgotten her last name.

She also sent a letter directly to the head of the VA hospital on my behalf.    
Needless to say the VA was not happy with me and told me to stop emailing the White House.  
However, the damage was done.  Shortly afterwards I received my full benefits.  
I called Linda in tears and thanked her.  She was kind and friendly. 
She told me to call her anytime I had a problem.

Today, that women's veterans office is closed.  It was closed shortly after Bush took office.   
I know because I tried to call them just to say hello.
The Bush regime doesn't care about a poor, broken-down vet like me.

I'm doing much better now and I even own my own home.

That's my story Bart.  
Thanks for listening and thanks for asking.  
Many people don't want to hear.


Shelly D.
Honorably Retired Vet

Shelly, thanks for sending that, thanks for being a vet and thanks for not giving up.
Our deserter, oil-rich president wants disabled vets like you to "stop whining."

A shot of Chinaco Anejo for your strength and courage.
I worry about those who weren't as strong as you,

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Bald guy with man breasts explains evolution

Get t-shirts, shots Here


November Special - $23 each, two for $40
(Must be shipped to same address)

We have a few shot glasses left.

GOP staffers change careers

Dear Republican staffer,
As you know, the last election cycle has left many of you looking for employment.

We are hiring.

We know many of you are patriotic Americans who long to serve their country, 
and take great pride in the country and it's ideals.

I'll be honest, we need more Marines.

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"But she has a vagina!"
    -- former comedian Dennis Miller (R-Lost Career) on why 
        Nancy Pelosi would make a terrible Speaker of the House,  Link

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Humor from Romania

Subject: bartcop signs in Vanity Fair

Hey Bart,
I'm slowly making my way through my November issue of Vanity Fair. 
Today I noticed, at the bottom of page 266, a little patriotic collage of hands waving flags, 
buttons saying "vote" AND a "Worst President Ever" and a "Making A Killing" poster, 
complete with tiny logo at the bottom.
I'm so used to seeing those signs daily on that it took awhile to register
that this was "the mainstream media" I was looking at and not your website. 
You're in Vanity Fair magazine, Bart!
Keep hammering,
Sharon in Minnesotat, 

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Buh-bye, Rumsfeld

The Year of the Macaca


The happiest result of the 2006 election was saved for last: Jim Webb's ousting of Macaca. 
It is all too fitting that this race would be the one that put the Democrats over the top in the Senate. 
Macaca was the slickest form of Bush-Rove conservative, complete with a strategist who'd helped 
orchestrate the Swift Boating of John Kerry. Mr. Allen was on a fast track to carry that banner into 
the White House once Der Fuhrer was gone. His demise was so sudden and so unlikely that it seems 
like a fairy tale come true... What a week this was! Here's to the voters of both parties who drove a 
stake into the heart of our political darkness. If you'll forgive me for paraphrasing George Allen: 
Welcome back, everyone, to the world of real America.

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"I still consider Santorum and Allen among the best conservatives on the scene.  
  I believe Santorum (R-Man-on-dog) has national appeal, despite his loss on Tuesday.  
  And although Allen's campaign was knocked off stride, nobody will care much."  
    -- Mark Levin,    Link

I think a solid pragmatist like Levin should run the RNC.
The Republicans need more clear thinkers, and Levin is the best!

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The BFEE - Cornered rats
  by Ted Rall

Shortly after 9/11, Bush began the first of a long series of power grabs that have transformed him 
from the leader of a country beholden to its people to an authoritarian despot. He signed a secret 
executive order granting himself the right to declare anyone in the world, including a U.S. citizen, 
an "enemy combatant"--without proof--and order him assassinated. Violating federal law and 
privacy rights, Bush authorized the NSA to listen to our phone calls and read our e-mail. FBI, 
CIA and HomeSec goons "disappeared" thousands of people into a horrible new matrix of 
concentration camps and secret prisons.

On October 17, 2006 Bush signed the Military Commissions Act. The new law, scarcely mentioned 
in the media, is breathtaking for the breadth of its attack on basic rights. Under the MCA either the 
president or the secretary of defense may declare you an "enemy combatant"--as usual, without proof.
Under that designation you may be jailed, without the right to an attorney, for the rest of your life. 
You can even be tortured. Your U.S. citizenship can't protect you. And it's all "legal."

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Subject: Hold off on Saddam Hanging

Here's an innovative way to deal with the Iraq occupation quagmire. 
Maybe we should tell the Iraqis to get along and form a unified government 
or we are going to to put Saddam back in power and let him unify Iraq. 

If given the choice between democracy and having Saddam back maybe 
they'd quit fighting among themselves and start thinking about peace. 
Either way it would bring it to an end. 

We might want to hold off on executing Saddam and think about this.

Marc Perkel
San Bruno, CA.

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November Special

Chinaco Anejo shortage
If you come across a bottle of Chinaco Anejoand send it to me,
I will fix you up with a year of BCR membership - a $120 value.
PO Box 54466
Tulsa, OK  74155

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Cheney in a Box

It was the worst outcome imaginable.
They lost the House and the Senate in one night with one savage blow. Even the Confederate flag 
at Macaca's house was flying at half-mast. Suddenly the Reich that was "built to last a thousand years" 
had been reduced to small blocks of dusty-rubble extending from sea to shining sea. At the epicenter 
of the twisted-iron and smoldering wreckage; George W. Bush, whose smirking puss had appeared 
daily on every American TV and in every American newspaper spreading the 'good news' of domestic 
repression and nonstop war. Now, here he was, once again, convening a news conference, dazed and 
ashen, propped up amid the scattered debris of a midterm massacre; his party left in utter ruins...
In a moment worthy of Shakespeare, the Fraudster-in-chief had been scuttled by his own party; 
knifed in the back by his own friends and family who knew that it was finally time to extract the 
drunken driver from behind the wheel of Mack Truck.

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Subject: free Chinaco Anejo

Bart, I spent last week in Las Vegas on a business trip, 
but managed to find time for little fun and refreshments.

Chinaco Anejo is plentiful at the fabulous Venetian, and the $11 shots are comped while you play.  
Three evenings in a row, my coworkers and I managed to stretch a $30 investment in the video poker 
bar machines for about 2 hours.  We enjoyed great live music, many cold malted beverages, and of course, 
a couple shots of Chinaco Anejo.  I was able to cash out even or better every night, so it was truly a free ride.

Maybe your Southwest FF can get you to The Venetian for some FREE Chinaco shots!

What a wonderful week to be an American, and how great it is to feel such a sentiment again. 
Brian PM

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Father Issues haunt Der Fuhrer
 by Ronald Reagan's daughter

A few years ago, during my father's memorial service at the National Cathedral, I saw
a telling moment between the two George Bushes. Bush 41 had just finished his eulogy. 
The current President Bush followed him, and though father and son passed each other 
so close their shoulders almost brushed, 43 passed his father as if he were invisible, 
keeping his eyes straight ahead and walking briskly to his destination. It looked like there 
was some trepidation in the eyes of Bush the Elder, as if he knew his son would slight him.

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Subject: Cruella

Hey Bart,
Remember when Katherine Harris stated that there is no "separation of church and state" 
and that God is the one who picks our leaders? 
With that said, does this mean that she not only has been rejected by the Florida Voters,  
but also rejected by the Almighty Himself? 
That poor bitch can't get a break!!!
Keep Hammering
 California Dave

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 Want to trade links?

Send e-mail to Bart

We're going to open the doors
to free speech to see what happens.

Note: Often, I get e-mails that are too long to print - at least on the main page.
Since we're slowing catching up with technology, keep something in mind:

If you have a short comment about something, send that to
But if you have something major to say, something that needs a clumn-length explanation,
 use the bartblog and dozens will read what you had to say.

Why does Foley have a Boehner?

Subject: McCain is a zombie

McCain said he would kill himself if democats won the senate. 


Is McCain now a zonbie?

Andy, worse - he's a gutless whore, a Bush Cabanaboy, respected by nobody.

  "I'm so mad I could soil my pants."

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The net's best advertising deal

 advertise on


I'll bet the Iraq Study Group, (Baker and Whitewash Hamilton) will adopt
The Bartcop Plan for how to extracate Der Fuhrer from his bloody quagmire.

Why do I think that?
Because it's the only plan that has a chance to work.
I proposed it years ago, but who in the BFEE reads the Tequila Treehouse?

What is The Bartcop Plan?
The first thing we have to do is get Bush's face off the illegal occupation.
That means we pull out as the UN moves in, but the UN won't move in
unless their people get a piece of the economic pie that Bush so greedily stole.

So we need to have a transition period where we turn things over to France, Japan,
Germany, Italy, Spain and we probably need to get Eqypt and the Sauds involved, too. 
As long as Bush is the face of the occupation, the bombings will continue.
They're not objecting to foreign help, they object to US occupation.

Japan and Europe can make oil deals for their presumed sacrifice. 
The Muslims get a more stable Middle East.

I realize it's not an answer to everything, but Job #1 has to be No more Yanks.
Getting America out - and anybody non-American in is the first step.

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Marty's Entertainment Page

always has good stuff.

Click on the E!


"Republicans were oddly oblivious to the fact that they had turned into an unappetizing 
  tableau of bloated, corrupt, dissembling, feckless white hacks who were leaving kids unprotected. 
  DeLay and Bob Ney sneaking out of Congress with dollar bills flying out of their pockets. 
  Hastert playing Cardinal Bernard Law, shielding Mark Foley. Rummy, cocky and obtuse as 
  he presided over an imploding Iraq, while failing to give soldiers the armor, support and strategy 
  they needed to come home safely.  Cheney, vowing bullheadedly to move full speed ahead on Iraq 
  no matter what the voters decided. W. frantically yelling about how Democrats would let the 
  terrorists win, when his lame-brained policies had spawned more terrorists." 
     --Maureen Dowd, (She hates everybody)  Link

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 Iraq pumped 3.5M barrels daily before Bush invaded
 and then they got their 2003 Halliburton upgrade

Bush's oil gouge, which is going to $100 a barrel
makes $350,000,000 Bush will steal every day.

No wonder they were so eager to start a war,

stealing  $350,000,000 every day.

It's the biggest theft in Earth's history.

Exxon made $10B profit in 90 days 
 $100M a day - all profit - because Bush started a fake war


Bush's "Bring 'em on" death taunt is up to...

2842....2848 American victims

Bush killed another six soldiers over the weekend.

At the same time,
Exxon made $300M in profit

They make $100M a day off our dead soldiers.

Exxon's new slogan
$100M and 3.4 soldiers a day!

 Meanwhile, Bush's war costs taxpayers $2 billion a week.
He's the greatest president ever - if you have oil stocks.

Bush has killed more
Americans than Osama.

Subject: I'm coming home!

Bartcop, I have been unable to read your site for a long time and I've had major withdrawals. 
I am still in Iraq but it became more difficult to get computer time. 
I am coming back to the USA for good at the beginning of December. 

Woo Hoo!
That's great news.

The first goddamn thing I am going to do is read your site, download your shows, and listen to Malloy!!!! 
You are the best and it's great to see your site is thriving better than ever.

Best wishes, buddy,

Dude, glad you're coming home.
The suits at AAR fired Malloy, but he's on Nova Radio now so he's still here!.

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No livestock or stamps, please.


It was Dallas two weekends back, St Louis last week and our 
30 anniversary is this coming weekend - I'm trying hard to keep up.

Today is all radio - hope I'm funny.

Dallas won, so it ruined my whole weekend.

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Lady Brokeback
Beyonce and Eva Longoria to star in in lesbian blockbuster



Beyoncé and Eva Longoria will play lesbian lovers in a new movie 
that's been dubbed the female Brokeback Mountain. 

They'll get steamy in Tipping The Velvet, directed by Sofia Coppola. 

Quote from the movie:

First Lady: "Tipping the Velvet? What's that? Sounds like dressmaking or something.
                      But who would pay to watch a women make a dress?"

Second Lady: "It's not about dress making!"

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